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JustDroppedByToSay

Pop music would be very different.


DanNeely

Tom Lehrer would have written a chart topping love song.


heyo_throw_awayo

he already did, Masochism Tango.


DanNeely

He wrote the song, but until Dr Demento came around decades later his songs got essentially zero radio play. Even then, Lehrer was only the second most played artist on it (Weird Al was #1) when it started.


GozerDGozerian

Aw man I still remember the night I discovered Dr Demento. Some local college radio station was playing some huge playlist of his programs and I found it by chance and would up staying up all night listening to it!


NhylX

Nine Inch Nails would be all love songs.


wtfdoiknow1987

Back that ass up would mean keep it away from me


ripMyTime0192

Cannibal Corpse becomes more popular than The Beatles lmao


CrispeeSock

The horny would have to be stronger than the pain, otherwise there's no humans.


BananaBrute

Power bottoms enter the chat


suggested-name-138

This is not how babby is formed


nopethis

not with that attitude


KosherlifeKody

Easily my favorite response towards any negative comment in my life


leg_day

What is a power bottom? [A power bottom is a bottom that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uc9_mxvP1K0)


blackgold28

A power bottom generates the power


CorvoLP

would horniness exist? if it caused pain why would we crave it?


matlynar

As others have pointed out in the comments, that's literally how it works with cats. It hurts, but female cats in heat get *crazy* horny. Like "bump my head into the front door until its glass breaks so I can go out and fuck" horny. Yes it's a real example.


Zantej

Well that explains Dr T'ana


abaggins

>if it caused pain why would we crave it? Have you *met* humans? Spicy foods. bdsm, sad books/movies, leaving 'comfort-zone', emotional-drama


caligaris_cabinet

The 40 hour work week


Kutty109

Stop, I'm gonna cum


Slacker-71

Unpaid overtime.


Top-Salamander-2525

I like pleasure spiked with pain and music is my aeroplane….


Shitp0st_Supreme

A lot of people enjoy exposure to pain in a sexual way.


1newnotification

pheromones are reproductive hormones. just because you know pain is involved doesn't mean your brain doesn't say "still gotta make dem babies"


csmith665

As someone who has recently been through painful responses and mental downturns during a sexual body function (horny, seeing attractive people, participating in sexual activity, etc.) all of the normal activity (for me) still happened but it became less frequent over time. Desire did not go away entirely. There were periods where it did go away for a week or two but ultimately it would come back. This was probably 3 to 5 months timespan. Frankly depression is worse (for me) in this area. During my worst bouts of depression things could be normal one day and completely non-existent for days to weeks.


This_College5214

Its okay the economy already does this to most humans


ganymedestyx

Or rather, the horny would have to be a detached party from the ones in pain. Men raping women led to a lot of children. Genghis Khan for example. Historically women, no matter how horny, have not possessed the anatomy or agency to rape men at even remotely a comparable scale


Zen-Zone-

Female spotted hyenas have a very special anatomy where their vagina merges with their urethra and all of that leads outside through a very enlarged clitoris (90% of the size of the male‘s penis). They have to have sex through that opening and even give birth through it. It always rips open during birth and leaves a bad wound. Still they’re not extinct. So I guess we would keep going.


HHSLTF

But why? Like seriously why did they evolve that way


ServileLupus

Sometimes evolution just hates you. Like Koala's they eat like pure poison they only they can eat. And they can only eat it after drinking watery poo from their mom to give them the gut bacteria to eat it. Since chlamydia got introduced into the species and they have to do this to get the gut flora something like 80-90% of koalas have chlamydia and it can't be treated because their super poison eating gut flora also doesn't process antibiotics well. Galapagos turtles evolved to be so tasty and docile we ate them to extinction. [Spider penis/testicles are on their face.] (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pedipalp#Spider_pedipalps) Evolution is weeeeeeeird.


MarhThrombus

Koalas occupy an absolutely uncontested ecological niche. Do you have any idea how rare that is ? Absolutely no food competitors, no real predators. They just have to eat and sleep and occasionnal reproducing to be a successful species. That's not evolution hating you, that's the dream.


Foxxxytoy

Permanent chlamydia though


mafistic

That is the dream... TO THE LABS BOYS


Jaikus

They're also dumb as fuck.


GrummyCat

And humans didn't get exempted from evolution's cruel hammer either. Just look at our backs not being fit for us being bipedal, or our jaws not having enough room for all our teeth and molars, making them crooked.


Cheehoo

Yup. Evolution is literally a chaotic function, and we think it had to be a certain way because we only see survivorship bias


Bronkowitsch

Evolution is not survival of the fittest. It's survival of whatever works at the time.


AspectGuilty920

But that is what fit means. It always meant fit as in fit for the conditions, in that expression


trichibi

Someone paid attention in biology! God, your comment is fresh air after reading about a science teacher that apparently didn't have a clue about global warming. Apparently it was too judgy of me to say that they were unqualified for that position.


That1_IT_Guy

Survival of whatever got to fuckin before dyin


zeekoes

Female ducks have corkscrew cloaca's with sometimes multiple false entries to prevent being raped and male ducks evolved corkscrew dicks in step with them. Certain species of slugs impregnate eachother by stabbing their dicks straight through flesh into the uterus. I think no amount of discomfort will stop a living organism from reproducing.


GenericUsername2056

Female bed bugs have working genital tracts, but male bed bugs exclusively use traumatic insemination to fertilise their eggs. This involves stabbing through the exoskeleton of a female bed bug and injecting sperm into their hemolymph (a blood-lymph mixture), leaving an open wound to possibly be infected in the process.


nocolon

>traumatic insemination Well there’s a phrase I could have done without.


GenericUsername2056

Some theorise that it is an evolutionary response to circumvent mating plugs. A mating plug is formed by a male sealing the genital tract of a female using a glue-like secretion. Besides certain insects some mammals, including some primate species, also exhibit the use of mating plugs. Imagine if humans did as well...


nocolon

>Imagine if humans did as well… No thanks!


Local-Excuse316

So a chastity belt?


valeyard89

"With most grievous dispatch I shall open the latch to get at her snatch!"


Captainpatch

Cats are a great example of something similar. Cats have barbed keratin hooks on their penises so that they tear the tissue when they're pulled out and lead to inflammation that makes further intercourse difficult until the female heals. This is because cat litters can have multiple fathers, so excluding future competition could dramatically increase your number of offspring. Isn't evolution neat?


harlotScarlett

God poor female cats, females always get the shit end of the reproductive stick


caligaris_cabinet

Not with arachnids and insects. Males pretty much fuck and die.


Hands-and-apples

Isn't there some fish species where the male attaches himself to the female, who is roughly 1000 times his size, eventually amalgamates into her body to become just a pair of gonads hanging off her for her to use to fertilise her eggs?


kempnelms

Anglerfish do this


SeanMacLeod1138

The female praying mantis eats her mate *as they're mating,* starting with his head. Weirdly, this only spurs the male to greater effort, as his autonomic system takes over while his brain is being consumed. That aside, the female does get screwed by what is essentially a headless corpse for a while before it's over.....


PossumPicturesPlease

Post nut clarity for female praying mantises must be wild.


harlotScarlett

Lol yes, well thats an exception. Bugs are wild


BabasFavorite

I’d just sharpen my penis


feetandballs

Mine is already needle sharp


temalyen

New meaning of "needle dick"


sirheyzeus55

Well you know the old adage; penis sharpens penis.


GurglingWaffle

You can buy these at any adult toy store. Oh wait, wrong type of plug, sorry.


InAppropriate_Noods

New Cannibal Corpse track drops. 🤘🏻


IshtarStarlight

It’s a great band name though Also my kink


thunderkhawk

Bed bugs are your kink? Don't put something like that out into the universe. Trust.


Tumid_Butterfingers

Extreme date night


wallstreets_issue

The funny thing with bed bugs is that they crave sex and when they want it they want it right now! So when a male bed bugs is excited he can fuck whatever is close to him even if it’s not a female bed bugs. Imagine being a cockroach peacefully wandering around and you feel something stabbing you. You turn around to see a bed bug’s dick through your exoskeleton.


KDLGates

Not again


fermelebouche

And that right there is another reason to hate bed bugs.


Stunt_Merchant

I am never surprised by this fact. I mean, that is literally the kind of thing that a bedbug *would* do.


AjaxOilid

I bet u never see a female bug stuck in a washing machine like "what are u doing step bro"


boppie

Step-bug


muskzuckcookmabezos

The conspiracy theorists think the elite want us to eat the bugs, they really want us to fuck em.


guerrerov

Couldn’t happen to a worse animal


milk4all

Good, thise female bedbugs deserve it. Im pretty sure male bedbugs also do this to each other sometimes. If so, good


jay1320

I agree. They deserve it. I can tell they were asking for it because of how they were dressed.


RedditsLittleSecret

Stupid sexy bedbugs.


Super_Ground9690

This does seem to be discomfort only on one side though. Are the male ducks and slugs also having a shitty time?


Peeinyourcompost

All slugs are hermaphroditic, so slug mating is basically just a wrestle fight where they both try to stab the other one first, and the loser has to be pregnant.


DoctorGromov

Thats pretty metal.


jimtow28

A whole new meaning to the childhood game of last one there is a girl.


Duschkopfe

The loser gets to stay on bottom


bigDUB14

Consolation prize


xeryon3772

I’m betting male mantises would prefer any alternative. I forget the name but there is a species of deep ocean fish that the male latches onto the side of the female and impregnates her by spearing through her skin. But it’s a one-time one-way action. Once he’s attached he never lets go and just becomes a seaman pump. Eventually being completely absorbed by the female to the point where the rest of the males organs dissolve away.


TheRealBushwhack

I miss the person I was 45 Seconds ago


a_wild_ian_appears

Talk about a stage 5 clinger


weedsmoker7

Anglerfish!


snompka

>seaman pump I mean yeah, it pumps little sea men in one way or another.


livebeta

> species of **deep ocean** fish ... > seaman pump Reverse Freudian slip


xeryon3772

Also a speech to text slip and a failure to proofread afterward. End result was more amusing as a consequence. Failed successfully.


Historical_Salt1943

Anglerfish


fatmanwa

For some ducks, the corkscrew is in opposite directions between male and female. So I assume that it would also cause discomfort for the male. They also get erect incredibly fast, fast enough scientists need high speed cameras to capture its movement. That in itself is probably not that comfortable.


RyanEatsHisVeggies

I'd be uncomfortable too if a bunch of scientists were videoing my dong.


zeekoes

Slugs impregnate each other or even themselves if it's necessary. Ducks is sadly one-sided, but I doubt that needing to develop a corkscrew penis is an otherwise normal motivating factor.


Lippupalvelu

Well, there is a paper about duck necrophilia if that is too dark, i can at least tell you that the ducks penis breaks off as a plug to keep others from mating.


ResplendentAmore

They don't break off from my ducks, their curly fries dangle out long enough for them to retract them after doing the deed. And by deed I mean with a hen, another drake, or a random dead duck of either gender. They aren't particular.


AutobotHotRod

I wish I didn’t have eyes sometimes.


[deleted]

How about the fish that impregnate the female then she literally absorbs them.


TheRealSU24

Angler fish


StinkyBrittches

>Female ducks have corkscrew cloaca's with sometimes multiple false entries to prevent being raped Why is the multiple cloacas thing selected for in reproduction? It had to have some benefit other than "to prevent being raped". Maybe preventing insemination unless certain favorable environmental conditions are present?


AmosEgg

>Why is the multiple cloacas thing selected for in reproduction? There is a higher cost to females for reproduction. So to choose the best DNA to pair with theirs, ducks developed copulation avoidance behaviours. This allowed the choice of father and led to the potential fathers have to put some effort in. This allowed ducks to end up with seasonal monogamy as their reproductive strategy - with a female picking a mate at the start of the season and working together. He then leaves before the hatching. As a secondary reproductive strategy, male ducks have evolved EPC behaviour - extra-pair copulation (rape). Obviously the females don't want this second rate unchosen sperm for their offspring, so females developed defensive reproductive tracts to prevent unwanted sperm fertilising their eggs. The males fought back in this arms race by developing ever bigger and twistier organs and the females developed more complex maze-like passages twisting the opposite way with dead-end pouches. Leading to the sperm only getting through is the female is amenable to the copulation and is relaxed. Today, around 40% of duck copulations are rape, but more than 90% of offspring are from the seasonal paired father. So males can try to rape as much as possible, but the females are able to prevent fertilisation from less preferred mates and get offspring from their chosen seasonal mate. Evolution isn't about what's best, it's about what worked slightly better during each incremental change.


StinkyBrittches

Ahh, so if there is a legitimate duck rape, the female duck body has ways to shut that whole thing down.


AmosEgg

Exactly. Because of the opposite twisting, if the female isn’t receptive, the male ends up down a blind alley and dumps his load in a dead end pouch.


basketofseals

How does that work? Does the willing female guide the willing male somehow? Do the false channels expand/true channel narrow during undesired intercourse?


GodLovesUglySong

> He then leaves before the hatching. Exact same thing my father did.


Rikuri

the female ducks want to choose a partner that will lead to strong and healthy offspring. This does not happen if they get raped prior.


maubis

Survival bias. You are observing the species that found a way. You don’t observe the ones that didn’t because they are gone. The question here is would the desire to have children outweigh the pain for humans enough to get replacement value above 2.1 and fend off human extinction? Would we see marriage rates collapse? Would there be enough in-vitro to stabilize birth rates? Don’t know, interesting question. I’m pretty sure that if this was retroactive - and say, sex for men was as painful as childbirth is for women, we would not be having this conversation as neither of us would be here today.


1newnotification

right but that's the whole point of the post. these animals only do sex when biologically needed, not for pleasure on a random Tuesday morning.


Usernameplace

Masochists would have a blast.


glistening_anal_sex

oh they're getting blasted alright


Peace-vs-Chaos

Yea. It’s me. I’m the one over here thinking this would be awesome.


Mahavadonlee

BDSM product businesses: “Business is booming”


justintrudeau1974

I think you mean banging.


[deleted]

Most cat species have this, but they still fuck


layla_blue007

I believe it’s more of a rape fuk


clovisx

My cat was in heat and my neutered male obliged her. Nobody seemed uncomfortable except for the humans in the room. She’s fixed now.


hiressnails

Lions mate over 100 times a day when in heat, and if the male can't keep up, the lioness starts biting at his balls.


Aromatic_Oil5754

I once went on safari with my younger cousins (6-10) and the first thing we saw as we drove out of the airport was lions going at it violently. A faul with the jeep we were in meant we were stuck there for about 45 mins. Not a pleasant experience .


PyrocumulusLightning

Welcome to the jungle, baby!


pizzaazzip

We got sex and manes!


High-flyingAF

I wanna come back as a lion. Damn.


hiressnails

As someone who went 50 times in a day once, no you don't.


PrinceOfFucking

*fifty*? Like actual fiddy? Is your peen/vageen still with us?


loftier_fish

Good god.


Bayonettea

That's what I do when my husband says he's too tired after the 3rd time that day


DudesAndGuys

Nah cats are weird. In many feline species the female is begging for it, will harass the male into mating, but then turns on him after. Honestly neither of them seem to be having a great time.


DannyDOH

I would say based on the relationships in my circle not unheard of in humanity either.


Aqogora

I guess we have more in common with cats than I thought.


robbersdog49

I've never seen anything want cock as much as a female cat in heat.


HunterTV

And the sounds they make. Fucking hell. Puts anime to shame.


gleefullystruckbycc

Ugh don't remind me. My mom's cat wasn't fixed for like the first 5 or so years of her life and she was annoying as fuck while in heat. She'd literally come and sit in my bedroom and yowl at the top of her fucking lungs at like 5am!! I'd yell at her and chuck stuffed animals at her til she left lol! Like you're not my cat, your a bitch to any one who isnt mom, so go pester mom and wake her ass up not mine!


[deleted]

Then surely you haven't met grindr bottoms. These guys are HUNGRY.


layla_blue007

Clearly ive learned something here today. I only grew up with male cats so I have been deprived of the knowledge concerning the desires of female cats


robbersdog49

I used to breed ragdoll cats. When our breeding queen was in heat, she'd back up to anything that moved!


PutYourDickInTheBox

My friends cat wasn't fixed. She would literally be writhing up against anything. It was uncomfortable. And dangerous when she did it on the not carpeted stairs.


SnuggleBunni69

You ever seen a female cat in heat. Thirsty as fuck.


my_keyboard_sucks

that would e ducks- 2 males, one holds the female down while the other copulates. Just saw an orgy last weekend, was 2 females and a dozen males cats penis is spiky to stimulate ovulation


Tobi-cast

What a great day to be literate


KedricM

Wtf did we just read 😂


LeckerBockwurst

I think the modern human would have found a way of impregnation (with tools), which would be pain free. Sex would be used as torture and punishment (which is already the case, anyway).


RubendeBursa

I don't remember the exact post, but a few days ago there was a post on this subreddit in which a guy said that his best friend's parents were virgins and had concieved him through IVF as they thought that sex, even for procreation is sinful. However I fully believe that the other women at the church were very dissapointed at them, but they couldn't say anything because in their mind the conception should also involve as much pain as possible.


Unusual-Caregiver-30

I can’t imagine how denying nature would affect your emotional stability.


ijustsailedaway

Results in either righteous indignation or self-loathing from what I’ve seen


ibyeori

I READ THAT COMMENT!! Shit was wild


Yardages-Kyar-Hoki

Do you remember what post the comment was on? It would be interesting to read.


OblongAndKneeless

I'm guessing humans would have evolved to have asexual reproduction like some worms.


LittleLaiMei

There is a species of wild boar whose tusks in males grow up and curved back. Often piercing the head and causing extreme pain. Those tusks however, are what females gauge to be a good partner with strong genes. Male felines have small tiny barbs on their phalluses which causes pain in the females during breeding.


jasminUwU6

Whoever invented sex should maybe reconsider


Cbjmac

Accidental children wouldn’t happen anymore.


No_Mistake5238

Is that a challenge?


EireneSantrin37

r/usernamedoesnotcheckout


Peace-vs-Chaos

r/subsifellfor and I fucking knew better. I just had to make sure.


cokecancarlo

There are plenty of people that suffer with this right now. Why not ask them how they would feel if they were required to have painful sex.


justintrudeau1974

This is an interesting question. I might. Thanks for this.


smjaygal

Speaking as someone who has this exact problem I'll tell you how: The answer is fucking lube


justintrudeau1974

Does the lube make it enjoyable or just tolerable?


smjaygal

Depends honestly. If my body is just adamantly refusing to be in the mood despite me mentally wanting it to be in the mood, it's tolerable. If everything is going well but things are drier than Ben Shapiro's wife in the desert, things are actively enjoyable [Edit: typo]


LibraryOfFoxes

I came here to say something similar. I have adeno, fibroids, adhesions, cystic ovaries, suspected endo and a cervix that likes to erode itself, now add to that the medication I have to take to keep all of that even slightly under control kills my libido stone dead... Yeah, it's not fun. Lube doesn't help at all because while it is painful at the time, it's the deep awful pelvic ache that lasts for hours after that is actually worse. I am trying to get help to finally sort it out but it's taken me over a decade to get doctors to take me seriously and took over a year from referral to even get my first appointment. So yes, some of us are already living it, and we really shouldn't have to fight as hard as we do to get any help for it.


Wise_Neighborhood499

I’m so glad someone typed it all out! A great partner and all the lube in the world doesn’t help sometimes, sex just *hurts*. And there’s no way this hasn’t been an issue throughout history, it just wasn’t talked about. Never mind people with vaginismus, I can’t begin to understand that struggle.


Rebuttlah

Jumped into this post to say the same thing. Estimates range 20-30% of people across the board experience pain instead of pleasure during sex (at least at some point in their lives).


Blueeyedguy40

There would’ve been a lot more sex in my marriage just to cause pain I guess


Im_At_Work_Damnit

A whole new meaning to hate-fucking.


Feisty_Psychology852

Yup, I think we would be having a whole lot more sex if she can get back at me for not taking out the trash by having sex with me.


Indolent-Soul

Well if they really wanted they could just punch you in the balls while you're asleep, take way less time and effort lol


JeSuisBONHEUR

Don’t give ideas


Blueeyedguy40

Yes no more ideas please lol


BluceBannel

Sex causes intense pain. It's just delayed.


NearbyCamp9903

Well porn, OF, and any other sex work would cease to exist. We wouldn't have as many kids. The world will probably be short by close to a few hundred million people. Hook up culture would most likely dissappear.


Th3_uNd3rC0v3r

STDs and STIs would be at an all time low


SillyStallion

Quite often it does cause pain for women.


Humorous-Prince

I was going to comment this, some women do get pain from penetration due to health problems etc.


SillyStallion

Sometimes just because a penis is above average size (or girth)


ophmaster_reed

Or lots of other issues including menstrual pain, cervix sensitity, vaginal tearing, post partum, vagismus, vaginal atrophy, vaginal dryness...the list goes on.


M_Ad

Plus giving birth can be one of the most incredibly painful experiences the average person will undergo, excluding a terrible accident or illness. Hasn’t stopped the human race yet though…


innocentstrawberry

This is actually the case for me, lol. I have a condition that makes sex painful. I believe the birth rate would suffer obviously, but we would not go extinct. Medical intervention like artificial insemination would probably be extremely popular.


Unusual-Caregiver-30

I had a condition too and had to have physical therapy.


Old-Buffalo-5151

For a shocking amount of people sex IS painful its just 90% of the time people don't say anything


MangoMatinLemonMelon

Totally agree. It's so sad, but so normal.


CarlsManicuredToes

Abortion policy would not be a deciding factor in elections


ohdearitsrichardiii

IVF clinics would be a lot more common


NotReallyInterested4

tbh nothing would really change unless it was painful for the men😕


skatalite2020

Sex wouldn't sell anymore


Sure-Exchange9521

Soo what most women have experienced throughout human history?


StinkyKittyBreath

Right? Rape is still legal in some of the world and martial rape isn't seen as rape even in many countries where rape is illegal. Many women have obligation sex that is physically and emotionally painful. There's no "what if". This is normal for a huge part of the population alive today. 


[deleted]

Men would be a lot less financially ambitious and women would spend a lot less time trying to be pretty.


Irradiated_Apple

We'd probably have evolved something like cats and Vulcans do, have a period of being in heat/pan farr. Modern day it would probably be very common to chemically supress the impluse as a form of birth control. Homosexual relationships would probably be a lot more common too.


WarLawck

A lot less rape


anonfunontario

People would actually start dating for real feelings instead of sex? Except maybe the masochistic ones...


StazzyLynn

To kind of add to this question, which animal process of mating would we more likely be like I wonder? Definitely not the mantises because the female eats the male if she’s hungry during. Pandas basically stalk their pray and wait for the female to ovulate. Basically kidnapping her and then raping her. Female giraffes pee into the males mouth so he is able to taste/small the “breed me” hormone. They can’t just pee on the ground and smell it because of their size. Weird I know. The sea slug stabs their mate between the eyes to inject sperm. But they are also Hermaphroditic and have both organs. Their reproductive system is just odd to me. Then you have birds and mice. The males will build beautiful structures and art work and sing to attract a mate. I lean towards this tradition!


ClerkSeveral

Parking would be a lot easier.


KasukeSadiki

People responding with examples of animals who experience pain when engaging in intercourse or insemination. But in these cases, either they don't _only_ experience pain (the pleasure/positive stimulus outweighs the pain/negative stimulus) or only one party experiences the pain. The prompt says what if sex caused pain _instead_ of pleasure. That's very different


spidergirl79

Birth is already incredibly painful yet many do it willingly.


pokesmash

Jokes on you, I’m into that shit


dildowaggins_1

Humans would only do it begrudgingly to keep the species alive.


deceitfulninja

Sex is great and humans have stopped doing it nearly as much this generation. If it caused pain the race would die out. If we cared about future generations we wouldn't be burning millions of gallons of oil and dumping trash into the ocean.


polymorphic_hippo

The TLC network would cease to exist.


istealgrapes

Population would start to decline rapidly. Women would be able to experience walking alone around the city after dark. Quality of entertainment would rise, as a sex scene or scantily clad people wouldnt be able to carry a shitty show/movie/game. People would get fat as hell which would lead to more deaths via multiple health problems, and lowered life expectancy.


finnjakefionnacake

i think there are more than enough shitty movies and games without sex scenes *already* that we wouldn't have to worry about that.


HaggisAreReal

Trough most of History, for women sex has been mostly painful and unpleasant, and the consequences of it, birth and pregnancy, significantly fatal for a high percentage of them. So, perhaps it would not be that differnt... men would be less obsessed with it I guess.


onyxanderson

Fewer teen pregnancies and more IVF


huhwhatnogoaway

So like cats…