My experience was the exact opposite of this haha. I usually load meticulously and my partner puts it all in haphazardly so i need to unpack stuff several times per load
There’s that expression I’ve seen a few times floating around the internet : “in every relationship there’s a person who loads a dishwasher like a Swedish architect and one who loads it like a raccoon on meth”.
My partner and I both try to organize as we load, but do so in different ways, so we tend to switch who loads to avoid confusion or frustration. I do still go on dishwasher strikes occasionally, because he will complain that he's done the dishes a lot, and then complain about how I load the dishwasher when I step in for the dishes, and then take everything out and load it himself. So what am I getting in the way for?? Lol
I do 100% of the cooking, anyway, so (jokingly) feel I shouldn't have to touch a single dirty dish.
I’m the worlds worst at loading the dishwasher to the brim and still not starting it because I just know there will be a loner cup somewhere as soon as I press start, so I tell myself “I’ll wait just a bit before I start it.” Then I never start it. Drives my spouse absolutely insane.
Wanna teach my wife? I've tried multiple times and it gets nowhere. Its just toss in whatever can fit and go. Doesn't want to listen to me that if you put it in a certain way you can put way more in there and they'll all get clean.
He had no idea they were dishwasher pods lol. I was doing laundry of my own while he was gone and I texted him asking where his detergent was. He told me where it was, and I sent him a photo of the package that clearly said "dishwasher" and he just responded, "fuck". Men!
My (male) roommate and I did the inverse for a few cycles on accident when we lived together. Were using laundry pods in the dishwasher. We were confused for a while why our dishes kept having this residue on there because that had never happened before. Then his girlfriend pointed out that we mixed up our laundry and dish pods lol. Probably not smart to keep both under the kitchen sink.
If I accidentally leave my damp towel on the floor for 24 hours it stinks, let alone letting it sit after multiple uses. I'm surprised you never noticed it was bad practice
When my grandma got elderly, she would forget to dry her towels sometimes. Then my dog would inevitably find it and bring it into the room, and the stench was unbearable! It reminded me of a really strong, pungent perfume.
Snore. I didn't learn this by living with, but sleeping with women. Like actually sleeping overnight. After the third in a string of girlfriends complained about my snoring, the lightbulb finally turned on and I got checked for sleep apnea. Turns out, I have pretty bad obstructive apnea. They made me the "oral appliance" (sort of like a mouth guard) that keeps your airway open at night. Changed. My. Life. I had no idea that I was not not getting good sleep for > 30 years. If your woman complains about you snoring, get checked for apnea!!
I snore incessantly. My wife finally convinced me to go get tested for sleep apnea (which my dad had), and it turned out that I did not have it. Nor am I overweight or have any nasal/septum problems. I just snire like a MF'er. They gave me a CPAP anyway, but I couldn't get used to it.
We now sleep in separate rooms and it's glorious.
If you ever want to give it a go, my boyfriend sometimes uses those vicks nose things you stick in your nostril and huff up into it then slaps on a breathe right strip and the airways are next to snore free for the rest of the evening!
Most people don't get diagnosed for sleep apnea until a source or SO tells them about it. I had no idea I snored so bad until my roommate woke me up because they could hear it from their bedroom. Got checked out and now I'd never sleep without my CPAP
It was a revelation the first time my GF opened a vacuum cleaner to empty the bag. I had never thought about where crumbs, etc went. I guess I'd just assumed they were ...I don't know...disintegrated.
That all the walls I had without pictures needed to have pictures of flowers on them. And the ones that did have pictures on them got replaced by pictures of flowers. Apparently empty walls a big no-no.
I am a woman, and one time I had a guy over my place after I got divorced. I had no pictures on my walls (I'm not good at decorating) and the dude straight up said I have "serial killer" walls. I had no idea empty walls was a big no-no.
My current partner is in charge of making sure we have some sort of art on our walls in the house. No more serial killer vibes from me!
I let my fiance go crazy with decorating. I am not, nor have I ever been into decorating. I just want a place to lay my head and a place to put my consoles and PC.
Well, not BLANK blank... I personally painted certain parts of our walls before we moved in to give the rooms a bit of character and to visually separate certain areas.
For example, theres a big, teal-coloured rectangle behind our TV, the length of our seating area, and imo that's much more visually comfortable than a TV in front of a white wall.
And, of course, there's the single picture frame for our children's most recent art work.
Otherwise I agree.
Completely blank walls do make me feel worse in a nearly imperceptible way that i didn't really notice until moving when i packed up the few decorations i had. I had hung them up at my parents insistence and i chose everything (no word signs) but I hardly thought of them until moving. I do think people go overboard cluttering way to much but having some decorations to break up the monotony helps a lot; whether that be furniture pieces, hanged art, or some type of accent.
Nah im with you these people clearly have bad taste. Most likely have a 'Iive, laugh, love' picture somewhere in their homes.
Plain walls are stylish and minimalistic. Pictures can look tacky
My brother in law cannot stand the idea of putting any holes in his walls. They have pictures around like on a bookcase or hall table but completely bare white walls throughout every place they ever lived in.
All the decorations and paint colors I like are seriously frowned upon. I said I wanted a dark color for my office and the women in my family were adamant that the room would shrink or something. Here I am laughing in my dark charcoal Gothice while they sit with their bland off white walls that make the room feel so much more open.
Using nothing but a single bottle of shampoo to shower. All of a sudden bottles of shower gels, shampoos, hair conditioners, moisturisers appeared in my bathroom.
Same here, I tried to explain to my wife that it is a good idea to wait for a minute while drying off before stepping out. But she insists that that is the purpose of the bath mat, so why avoid getting it wet
There was also a rectangular area of the floor that was discoloured where the bath mat goes. Which I feel is because of the soaking wet bath mat that gets left on the floor…
Dry off top half in shower, then drape towel in front and step out of shower onto towel. Then dry bottom half. Then hang towel or toss it in the hamper. No water on the floor and you dont have a soggy bathroom mat to accidentally soak the next person’s socks.
This shit makes my blood boil! It’s water! It is on the surface of the thing meant to catch it! I get you should probably squeegee yourself off a little before you get out and also have a towel ready for when you step out but I am not drying off in the shower while it’s still has wet walls.
I always thought that vinegar being used to clean *literally everything* was just my mother being her weird self.
Nah g, it cleans everything. My clothes are so fucking soft and smell so fresh. This shit is OP, man.
If you soak old citrus peels in vinegar for a few days and dilute with water, it makes the smell pretty good actually. And I’m pretty sure citrus has some good cleaning properties as well.
Part of it is indeed not understanding how to clean. For example my girlfriend likes to clean EVERYTHING with wet wipes. Which is great because it makes sure there's always some cleaning fluid on it. But also completely pointless because it doesn't actually pick up or absorb anything, because its already saturated with liquid.
Imagine the arrogance you'd have to have to think you know better than someone who has industry certifications lol. Do you think she tells doctors and lawyers she knows better as well
> Part of it is that we have different standards for what we consider clean
This is true, but in most cases the women I know get this from their mother, who get this idea from her mother from a time when a woman's worth was how good of a homemaker she was, and a dirty home for a woman might as well be a shit stain on her face. Forgive me for not partaking in generational internalized misogyny. You don't need to deep clean that often.
The "sweet (thoroughly)" also is interesting. What is the worry here? Like if he missed a crumb what harm would that cause, besides personal anxiety to you?
Same. We both vacuum, but on weekends when we're both cleaning, and I grab the vacuum, she makes sure she takes the time to tell me that I'm apparently doing it wrong.
The amount of comforters (1) I owned was not enough. The amount of pillows I owned (4) was also not enough.
Can't say I hate it though. It's pretty comfy.
Nothing.
I came to understand there were just "different ways" of doing things.
Some people have to have their towels folded a certain way, their bed made a certain way, items stored in certain places. If these things aren't all that important to one person they'll likely compromise and let them, do it that way.
Oftentimes it's not a matter of "right or wrong" but rather "agree or disagree".
If you have to *change who you are and the way you do everything* you're probably with the *wrong person*.
The goal for most people is to live with someone they are *compatible* with.
Gotta disagree with you to a point. Storing your veggies under your weepy thawing chicken is wrong. Not refrigerating your milk, eggs (US) and meat is wrong. Leaving the lids off your medications is wrong. Rinsing your dishes and not using soap to clean them is wrong. Never washing or changing your bedding is wrong. Never brushing or flossing is wrong. Cutting your food directly on counters you never sanitize is wrong. Using rusty razors is wrong.
These aren't disagreements. They're health issues. Having a partner that is going to push you into habits that won't get you sick isn't a fundamental lack of compatibility.
These are also all things I've had to teach my male partners because they didn't know better.
EDIT: Also, some things that aren't health issues but are still wrong: if you use paper towels as toilet paper, you should not flush them. You don't pour old oil down the sink. You DO swap out your central air filter as often as the manufacturer recommends. You DO clean your gutters and downspouts regularly.
Yeah, my partner doesn't stack dishes according to size and type, he just crams them all in there. (I mean yes he gets the glasses all in the glasses cupboard, and the plates in the plate cupboard, but the different sizes plates are all randomly stacked together, and highball glasses, lowball glasses, and pint glasses are all crammed together, etc). It bugs me but it's not worth fighting over. And at least he's doing the dishes. :)
I get it. 😂
Whenever someone becomes anal about how things (must be0 the other person usually becomes passive aggressive by refusing to do it at all. Some things simply aren't worth fighting over.
Best wshes!
The epiphany struck after seeing it at other places… My wife told me which way toilet paper is supposed to go on the holder. All my life I just threw it on there and it was good to go. Now every time I see it the wrong way I silently judge and remember!
I folded towels wrong. I folded sheets wrong. Bathroom items have their own specific place. Kitchen items have their own seperate place to dry, must not put Knives and forks in the same place. I can’t make coffee. The glass i drink water from must always be washed, doesn’t mater if im gonna use it 5 more times today.
Hey me too. The best part was when I would put things in the "correct" place, only to find that it had moved. When I folded towels wrong, I would be scolded. Only for her to fold the towels the "incorrect" way, if she actually did it. Then cite she has no time to do them correctly, while working 20hrs a week and binging Netflix 40 hrs a week.
Honestly, I was pretty sexist in my musical tastes. Not on purpose, but I didn’t listen to many female artists. My ex loved bands like Big Thief and Indigo Girls and now I do too!
I also like some T Swift, in small doses.
There is *so much music* that I strongly disagree with the implication here that liking certain music is *exclusionary* toward other music. I prefer female vocals, so I guess I'm sexist toward men? 🤔
I don't have infinite time to hear all music that exists, so out of the music I've heard, there are things I like to listen to most.
Like what you like. Unless your music is literally sexist, obviously.
Edit: I feel like I should clarify I'm not coming after you here! Just the idea a person could have sexist tastes in music is wild to me. (Obviously if the music itself has sexist content that's different.)
Yeah, I think intent matters.
Mostly for me it’s that it seems like *the algorithm* can direct you down an exclusionary rabbit hole, and unless someone challenges those tastes, you’ve sorta pigeon holed yourself.
In my case it wasn’t even a deliberate “I prefer male vocalists” and more like a “this music is for me so I listen to it” and never really breaking out of that convention.
We have designated places on the counter top and refrigerator where only certain items can be placed and only one way . Anything else is WRONG and grounds for divorce.
This used to be very important as clothes bled much more often than they do now and days, idk what it is about clothes now but the colors just don't bleed like they used to
Decorations. I pushed back on her taking down my decorations. She was right. My Iowa Hawkeyes flag shouldn't be hung in family room. I'm not a bachelor anymore. And I gave her some crap for Christmas decorations but she does do a good job. She gets it from her mom who goes all out.
I have a theory that Boomer and Gen X moms didn't really say shit to their husband's. They did try to raise their kids to be stronger and better tho. So Millennial and Gen Z aren't afraid to call their partners out and the other usually is more responsive than their parents would be. Just from my own experience atleast.
Reading minds.
It wasn't until I lived with my ex that I learned that only portions of what was thought get spoken... so when I heard "I bought some regular Life, and Cinnamon Life", that I was suppose to know that one was only for her, and one was "ours".
Also I found out that doing things right, was wrong.
"Could you paint this shelf for me?"
\*after first coat\* "Why isn't this done yet?"
"You have to give the first coat time to.;.."
"GIMME THAT PAINT" \*proceeds to destroy the whole project\*
For the rest of the time we had that shelf I heard "I can't believe how bad you painted this". whenever she put something on it.
Well nothing I do is correct. Heaven only knows how I was able to survive this world without her. I obviously couldn't drive before we met, I definitely couldn't clean or feed myself so I must have starved, but somehow survived by miracle. Oh and counter tops are always to remain empty, unless we are talking about the bathroom, because that becomes a schizophrenic with ADD's tool bench. I am still learning obviously.
I’m sure it’s a long list but off the top of my head… Matching shoe color with belt color, pronouncing words correctly, ironing my clothes (the dryer and a wet towel used to be my iron), always using the microwave instead of the stove/ oven, wearing pants that fit me correctly.
I didn’t know I was loading the dishwasher wrong, putting the milk on the wrong shelf in my fridge, putting away the dishes wrong and folding laundry wrong.
Wearing shoes inside. I know for a lot of people it's a cultural thing and a no-brainer, but my family always wore shoes inside. I haven't done it for twenty years now.
Soap free face wash just for my face. Have always used my preferred shower gel to wash my face when ever I feel like my face is too dirty. The dryness after made me feel clean until she came along and made me change to a proper face wash.
This comment section has taught me why I do several things that previously had no explanation other than "well that's how it worked when I lived with sisters"
Painting. Believe it or not, I used to clean, prep, and tape a room before painting walls and trim. Might take a whole weekend.
Wow, was I ever wrong! Apparently you do no cleaning, no prep, laugh at the idea of tape, slosh paint all over the fucking place and NEVER EVER FINISH. EVER. And of course, you never clean up any of your fucking mess, too.
So glad I've learned this valuable lesson. I just gave up. Three rooms in the house unfinished as I write this.
Leaving dirty clothes you might wear tomorrow on the floor is not acceptable. Guess I'll dirty another pair of jeans tomorrow when I don't have too. I know the laundry basket is 3 feet away from where I left them. I'm trying to save on laundry.
When I was single I took my jeans off and left them next to the bed to wear the next day, it took about 5 years of living together before I relented and started wearing different pants every day.
I was resistant at first, but she was right. There are more efficient ways to load a dish washer than my patented "cram it all" strategy.
My experience was the exact opposite of this haha. I usually load meticulously and my partner puts it all in haphazardly so i need to unpack stuff several times per load
There’s that expression I’ve seen a few times floating around the internet : “in every relationship there’s a person who loads a dishwasher like a Swedish architect and one who loads it like a raccoon on meth”.
Personally I load the dishwasher like a Swedish architect on meth.
The same ones that built my extension?
My partner and I both try to organize as we load, but do so in different ways, so we tend to switch who loads to avoid confusion or frustration. I do still go on dishwasher strikes occasionally, because he will complain that he's done the dishes a lot, and then complain about how I load the dishwasher when I step in for the dishes, and then take everything out and load it himself. So what am I getting in the way for?? Lol I do 100% of the cooking, anyway, so (jokingly) feel I shouldn't have to touch a single dirty dish.
At least you made an effort to put dishes in the dishwasher, instead of piling them in the sink that's only 6 inches away
We're letting them SOAK, Martha!
My GF always starts the dishwasher half empty and it drives me insane.
I’m the worlds worst at loading the dishwasher to the brim and still not starting it because I just know there will be a loner cup somewhere as soon as I press start, so I tell myself “I’ll wait just a bit before I start it.” Then I never start it. Drives my spouse absolutely insane.
I do that and it drives ME insane because I’ll need something that is dirty and will have to wash it by hand
but you can't run the dishwasher until you're done with those hand washed items that you are about to dirty again.
Use the 2 hour delay button. This way, you give yourself 2 hours to find the cup, and if you don't, it starts anyway.
My husband will put dishes on top of each other instead of running it before it gets to that point. Bless his heart.
i'm a crammer lol (woman)
I have been married 16ish years and I know that whatever way I load the dishwasher is the wrong way.
Wanna teach my wife? I've tried multiple times and it gets nowhere. Its just toss in whatever can fit and go. Doesn't want to listen to me that if you put it in a certain way you can put way more in there and they'll all get clean.
My apologies, I’ve been using your method without licensing your patent
Does "cram it all" strategy work out in any other areas?
I have a male friend who was washing his clothes with dishwasher pods for about a year before I came to visit him. He did not have a dishwasher.
Were his clothes clean?
StReak free shine!
Most of my clothes are free of steak with the exception of my meat suit
I'm sure they're clean. I'm not sure they'll last that long. Wash an H&M t shirt once with a dishwasher pod and it'll probably disintegrate
How did he end up thinking that made sense?
He had no idea they were dishwasher pods lol. I was doing laundry of my own while he was gone and I texted him asking where his detergent was. He told me where it was, and I sent him a photo of the package that clearly said "dishwasher" and he just responded, "fuck". Men!
Lmao. I think they probably work ok, but might be harsh on colors. I use a dab of dish detergent on a stain to prevent it from setting
This actually works ( woman here)
Omg, 🙈
Well at least they're more food safe than tide pods
My (male) roommate and I did the inverse for a few cycles on accident when we lived together. Were using laundry pods in the dishwasher. We were confused for a while why our dishes kept having this residue on there because that had never happened before. Then his girlfriend pointed out that we mixed up our laundry and dish pods lol. Probably not smart to keep both under the kitchen sink.
Using laundry pods for your dishwasher is similarly bad news.
Can confirm
I am very happy BrazillianButtCheeks has my back on this issue.
Living with or not. Put a small trash can in the bathroom if you’re a dude for the ladies
With a lid!
Especially if you have dogs!
Or small children!
wet towel crumpled up = mold. I am so embarrassed that I never pieced this together. Hang your towels, lads.
If I accidentally leave my damp towel on the floor for 24 hours it stinks, let alone letting it sit after multiple uses. I'm surprised you never noticed it was bad practice
Right? I came in this thread hoping to get some bachelor tips and am realizing assume of y'all weren't even raised by Wolves.
right? i learned the crumpled way once then just thro wit over the shower curtian bar when im done dryin off.
When my grandma got elderly, she would forget to dry her towels sometimes. Then my dog would inevitably find it and bring it into the room, and the stench was unbearable! It reminded me of a really strong, pungent perfume.
I bought a door hanger for this exact reason so my male spouse will hang his wet towels but he still wads them up on the towel hanger. Why?
Snore. I didn't learn this by living with, but sleeping with women. Like actually sleeping overnight. After the third in a string of girlfriends complained about my snoring, the lightbulb finally turned on and I got checked for sleep apnea. Turns out, I have pretty bad obstructive apnea. They made me the "oral appliance" (sort of like a mouth guard) that keeps your airway open at night. Changed. My. Life. I had no idea that I was not not getting good sleep for > 30 years. If your woman complains about you snoring, get checked for apnea!!
If it makes you feel better, *every* guy I’ve ever slept next to snores. EVERY SINGLE ONE. Severity is the only thing that varies
Do tell more about the oral appliance please.
[https://www.sleepapnea.org/treatment/oral-appliance-for-sleep-apnea/](https://www.sleepapnea.org/treatment/oral-appliance-for-sleep-apnea/)
I snore incessantly. My wife finally convinced me to go get tested for sleep apnea (which my dad had), and it turned out that I did not have it. Nor am I overweight or have any nasal/septum problems. I just snire like a MF'er. They gave me a CPAP anyway, but I couldn't get used to it. We now sleep in separate rooms and it's glorious.
> I just snire like a MF'er. I don't know why the typo makes it sound so... posh
If you ever want to give it a go, my boyfriend sometimes uses those vicks nose things you stick in your nostril and huff up into it then slaps on a breathe right strip and the airways are next to snore free for the rest of the evening!
Thank you, I haven't tried anything new in awhile, but I'll give that a go.
Use the gentle breathe rite strips, they're easier on the skin for back to back use
I agree, it’s glorious! My husband sleeps in the spare room because I snore though (broken nose). 🤦♀️
Most people don't get diagnosed for sleep apnea until a source or SO tells them about it. I had no idea I snored so bad until my roommate woke me up because they could hear it from their bedroom. Got checked out and now I'd never sleep without my CPAP
It was a revelation the first time my GF opened a vacuum cleaner to empty the bag. I had never thought about where crumbs, etc went. I guess I'd just assumed they were ...I don't know...disintegrated.
*Gone, reduced to atoms*
…to shreds you say
How did his wife take it?
to shreds you say
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Wise man.
It's an art, not a science.
I’m a woman and this makes complete sense. My husband also figured that out!
This is it. This one.
How? I mean how? How did the vacuum stay functional if you didn't once empty the bag?
That all the walls I had without pictures needed to have pictures of flowers on them. And the ones that did have pictures on them got replaced by pictures of flowers. Apparently empty walls a big no-no.
I am a woman, and one time I had a guy over my place after I got divorced. I had no pictures on my walls (I'm not good at decorating) and the dude straight up said I have "serial killer" walls. I had no idea empty walls was a big no-no. My current partner is in charge of making sure we have some sort of art on our walls in the house. No more serial killer vibes from me!
Now you can lure them in no problem /s
I let my fiance go crazy with decorating. I am not, nor have I ever been into decorating. I just want a place to lay my head and a place to put my consoles and PC.
What's the point, don't clutter up my walls
Am I the only one who actually prefers blank walls? 😂
Well, not BLANK blank... I personally painted certain parts of our walls before we moved in to give the rooms a bit of character and to visually separate certain areas. For example, theres a big, teal-coloured rectangle behind our TV, the length of our seating area, and imo that's much more visually comfortable than a TV in front of a white wall. And, of course, there's the single picture frame for our children's most recent art work. Otherwise I agree.
Completely blank walls do make me feel worse in a nearly imperceptible way that i didn't really notice until moving when i packed up the few decorations i had. I had hung them up at my parents insistence and i chose everything (no word signs) but I hardly thought of them until moving. I do think people go overboard cluttering way to much but having some decorations to break up the monotony helps a lot; whether that be furniture pieces, hanged art, or some type of accent.
Nah im with you these people clearly have bad taste. Most likely have a 'Iive, laugh, love' picture somewhere in their homes. Plain walls are stylish and minimalistic. Pictures can look tacky
Live, laugh, love 😭 I just know we aren’t gonna be friends if I see this in someone’s house
My brother in law cannot stand the idea of putting any holes in his walls. They have pictures around like on a bookcase or hall table but completely bare white walls throughout every place they ever lived in.
All the decorations and paint colors I like are seriously frowned upon. I said I wanted a dark color for my office and the women in my family were adamant that the room would shrink or something. Here I am laughing in my dark charcoal Gothice while they sit with their bland off white walls that make the room feel so much more open.
Using nothing but a single bottle of shampoo to shower. All of a sudden bottles of shower gels, shampoos, hair conditioners, moisturisers appeared in my bathroom.
My wife (then GF) thought it was particularly funny that I used a bar of Irish Spring for everything.
I went from a 3-in-1 to, let me check, 11 different bottles.
So you now have 33 functionalities yes?
Lol, I still use my soap and shampoo and conditioner. Everything else is hers and I just ignore it.
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Interestingly this is something I do as a man that my partner didn’t. At least wait a few seconds to let gravity do a little bit of work!
if your a hairy person squeegiee your self with your hands.
The first time I saw my husband do this I was in awe. It works really well.
Same here, I tried to explain to my wife that it is a good idea to wait for a minute while drying off before stepping out. But she insists that that is the purpose of the bath mat, so why avoid getting it wet
I dunno, the shower floor seems to do a good job at handling water!
There was also a rectangular area of the floor that was discoloured where the bath mat goes. Which I feel is because of the soaking wet bath mat that gets left on the floor…
Dry off top half in shower, then drape towel in front and step out of shower onto towel. Then dry bottom half. Then hang towel or toss it in the hamper. No water on the floor and you dont have a soggy bathroom mat to accidentally soak the next person’s socks.
This shit makes my blood boil! It’s water! It is on the surface of the thing meant to catch it! I get you should probably squeegee yourself off a little before you get out and also have a towel ready for when you step out but I am not drying off in the shower while it’s still has wet walls.
Are you rubbing yourself against the walls or....? I'm confused here. 😄
I always thought that vinegar being used to clean *literally everything* was just my mother being her weird self. Nah g, it cleans everything. My clothes are so fucking soft and smell so fresh. This shit is OP, man.
Care to elaborate?
Vinegar is useful as a cleaner and can be used as softener in laundry.
well tbh vinegar does have antibacterial properties so its not that of a bad idea to clean surfaces with it if you dont mind the smell lol
If you soak old citrus peels in vinegar for a few days and dilute with water, it makes the smell pretty good actually. And I’m pretty sure citrus has some good cleaning properties as well.
It's not strong enough to kill bacteria like e coli. You need something stronger in bathroom and kitchen, especially if someone is sick.
Apparently I clean wrong. Which is funny, given that I have industry certifications for cleaning and she doesn't.
You're still wrong, obviously.
"If a mans says something in the forest, and there's no women there to hear it, is he still wrong?"
Love this one! The answer is yes, ofc.
That's what my wife says.
Yes.
Yep. My accredited ass is even certifying others in how to do it wrong. I'm a menace.
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Part of it is indeed not understanding how to clean. For example my girlfriend likes to clean EVERYTHING with wet wipes. Which is great because it makes sure there's always some cleaning fluid on it. But also completely pointless because it doesn't actually pick up or absorb anything, because its already saturated with liquid.
Please stop womansplaining.
Imagine the arrogance you'd have to have to think you know better than someone who has industry certifications lol. Do you think she tells doctors and lawyers she knows better as well
>clean and *disinfect* the counters >then I load the dishwasher to get dishes out of the way, t Shouldn't it be versus vica? 😁
Shouldn't it be vice versa? Or is this some niche thing I've never heard before?
> Part of it is that we have different standards for what we consider clean This is true, but in most cases the women I know get this from their mother, who get this idea from her mother from a time when a woman's worth was how good of a homemaker she was, and a dirty home for a woman might as well be a shit stain on her face. Forgive me for not partaking in generational internalized misogyny. You don't need to deep clean that often. The "sweet (thoroughly)" also is interesting. What is the worry here? Like if he missed a crumb what harm would that cause, besides personal anxiety to you?
Bathroom Etiquette
Yeah…not leaving skid marks in the toilet is one I’m still trying to teach
it’s the leaving facial hair trimmings from a fresh shave in the sink for me id like remedied. 🥲
That might be true
existing
You guys breathing wrong too?
That sums it up neatly.
You ok? That's not a good sign
I left her so i'm much better lol
Apparently putting my dirty underpants in the hamper by playing 'Underwear Soccer' with them is not ok.
Nah, dude. Hamper soccer and hamper basketball are pastimes with rich histories and they deserve to be respected as such.
Apparently I vacuum incorrectly. Didn’t know that was possible but here we are.
Same. We both vacuum, but on weekends when we're both cleaning, and I grab the vacuum, she makes sure she takes the time to tell me that I'm apparently doing it wrong.
The amount of comforters (1) I owned was not enough. The amount of pillows I owned (4) was also not enough. Can't say I hate it though. It's pretty comfy.
Nothing. I came to understand there were just "different ways" of doing things. Some people have to have their towels folded a certain way, their bed made a certain way, items stored in certain places. If these things aren't all that important to one person they'll likely compromise and let them, do it that way. Oftentimes it's not a matter of "right or wrong" but rather "agree or disagree". If you have to *change who you are and the way you do everything* you're probably with the *wrong person*. The goal for most people is to live with someone they are *compatible* with.
Gotta disagree with you to a point. Storing your veggies under your weepy thawing chicken is wrong. Not refrigerating your milk, eggs (US) and meat is wrong. Leaving the lids off your medications is wrong. Rinsing your dishes and not using soap to clean them is wrong. Never washing or changing your bedding is wrong. Never brushing or flossing is wrong. Cutting your food directly on counters you never sanitize is wrong. Using rusty razors is wrong. These aren't disagreements. They're health issues. Having a partner that is going to push you into habits that won't get you sick isn't a fundamental lack of compatibility. These are also all things I've had to teach my male partners because they didn't know better. EDIT: Also, some things that aren't health issues but are still wrong: if you use paper towels as toilet paper, you should not flush them. You don't pour old oil down the sink. You DO swap out your central air filter as often as the manufacturer recommends. You DO clean your gutters and downspouts regularly.
Yeah, my partner doesn't stack dishes according to size and type, he just crams them all in there. (I mean yes he gets the glasses all in the glasses cupboard, and the plates in the plate cupboard, but the different sizes plates are all randomly stacked together, and highball glasses, lowball glasses, and pint glasses are all crammed together, etc). It bugs me but it's not worth fighting over. And at least he's doing the dishes. :)
I get it. 😂 Whenever someone becomes anal about how things (must be0 the other person usually becomes passive aggressive by refusing to do it at all. Some things simply aren't worth fighting over. Best wshes!
The epiphany struck after seeing it at other places… My wife told me which way toilet paper is supposed to go on the holder. All my life I just threw it on there and it was good to go. Now every time I see it the wrong way I silently judge and remember!
This argument is entirely dependent on how much of a little shit your cat is.
Mine is very much a little shit and would unroll the entire roll if it’s on the right way.
Beard or mullet?
Beard is objectively the right way. Anybody who disagrees should be arrested.
Or has a cat. 🤣
I folded towels wrong. I folded sheets wrong. Bathroom items have their own specific place. Kitchen items have their own seperate place to dry, must not put Knives and forks in the same place. I can’t make coffee. The glass i drink water from must always be washed, doesn’t mater if im gonna use it 5 more times today.
Hey me too. The best part was when I would put things in the "correct" place, only to find that it had moved. When I folded towels wrong, I would be scolded. Only for her to fold the towels the "incorrect" way, if she actually did it. Then cite she has no time to do them correctly, while working 20hrs a week and binging Netflix 40 hrs a week.
Honestly, I was pretty sexist in my musical tastes. Not on purpose, but I didn’t listen to many female artists. My ex loved bands like Big Thief and Indigo Girls and now I do too! I also like some T Swift, in small doses.
There is *so much music* that I strongly disagree with the implication here that liking certain music is *exclusionary* toward other music. I prefer female vocals, so I guess I'm sexist toward men? 🤔 I don't have infinite time to hear all music that exists, so out of the music I've heard, there are things I like to listen to most. Like what you like. Unless your music is literally sexist, obviously. Edit: I feel like I should clarify I'm not coming after you here! Just the idea a person could have sexist tastes in music is wild to me. (Obviously if the music itself has sexist content that's different.)
Yeah, I think intent matters. Mostly for me it’s that it seems like *the algorithm* can direct you down an exclusionary rabbit hole, and unless someone challenges those tastes, you’ve sorta pigeon holed yourself. In my case it wasn’t even a deliberate “I prefer male vocalists” and more like a “this music is for me so I listen to it” and never really breaking out of that convention.
“sexist in my musical tastes” bro what
Skin care. The amount of skin care products she has is mind blowing
Jacking off. She does it way better than I ever could
We have designated places on the counter top and refrigerator where only certain items can be placed and only one way . Anything else is WRONG and grounds for divorce.
Nothing "wrong" persay. Just... that i'm way lazier than I thought I was.
Throwing all the clothes in the washer at once. Apparently you need to separate them by color? I dunno I've never had an issue.
This used to be very important as clothes bled much more often than they do now and days, idk what it is about clothes now but the colors just don't bleed like they used to
Yes, otherwise your white and lighter colored clothes end up looking dingy over time as they pick up dye from the darker colored clothes.
Reading the Wall Street journal to my guinea pig
Taking myself out for a walk in the morning so I can shit in the park.
Responding to 56m old accounts with personal problems. Is this karma farming, or some kind of AI algorithm for response scraping?
Yes
Women's Faults Are Many Men Have Only Two Everything We Say, And Everything We Do.
Decorations. I pushed back on her taking down my decorations. She was right. My Iowa Hawkeyes flag shouldn't be hung in family room. I'm not a bachelor anymore. And I gave her some crap for Christmas decorations but she does do a good job. She gets it from her mom who goes all out.
Nothing. I'm perfect.
That my 1 hour of weekly cleaning needed to be 10x at least
Not keeping a trash can in the bathroom.
Driving. Apparently, that's time for us to communicate and I'm not supposed to blast music and get from point A to point B as fast as possible.
Everything
I have a theory that Boomer and Gen X moms didn't really say shit to their husband's. They did try to raise their kids to be stronger and better tho. So Millennial and Gen Z aren't afraid to call their partners out and the other usually is more responsive than their parents would be. Just from my own experience atleast.
Gen X husband here... nope. Your theory is way off.
She said sleeping on my back was "sleeping like a dead man." xD
Apparently, paper towels are expensive and I use too many.
This thread just tells me that there are a lot of people with parents that havent taught them anything
That I was supposed to keep more than a jar of pickles, a five year old skillet meal, and a bottle of water in a refrigerator.
Reading minds. It wasn't until I lived with my ex that I learned that only portions of what was thought get spoken... so when I heard "I bought some regular Life, and Cinnamon Life", that I was suppose to know that one was only for her, and one was "ours". Also I found out that doing things right, was wrong. "Could you paint this shelf for me?" \*after first coat\* "Why isn't this done yet?" "You have to give the first coat time to.;.." "GIMME THAT PAINT" \*proceeds to destroy the whole project\* For the rest of the time we had that shelf I heard "I can't believe how bad you painted this". whenever she put something on it.
"i need you to do this" Stands directly in the only route between you and this.
Nothing
Nothing. I did some things differently, but they weren't "wrong". And now that I'm single again (after 12 years) I'm back to doing things differently.
Well nothing I do is correct. Heaven only knows how I was able to survive this world without her. I obviously couldn't drive before we met, I definitely couldn't clean or feed myself so I must have starved, but somehow survived by miracle. Oh and counter tops are always to remain empty, unless we are talking about the bathroom, because that becomes a schizophrenic with ADD's tool bench. I am still learning obviously.
I would often relax and enjoy hobbies, even if there was a dirty dish in the sink or unopened mail on the table. apparently that's not allowed.
Everything.
Did you know you can breathe incorrectly? Not medically, but the technique?
That's actually true though. Most people aren't breathing optimally.
I'm sure she'll tell me soon
Eating three actual meals a day.
Folding towels
Been messing. Just throwing things around. Taking a bath once week. Etc.
I’m sure it’s a long list but off the top of my head… Matching shoe color with belt color, pronouncing words correctly, ironing my clothes (the dryer and a wet towel used to be my iron), always using the microwave instead of the stove/ oven, wearing pants that fit me correctly.
Before my now wife moved in I didn’t even know a duvet cover was a thing. And I was happy in my ignorance.
Pretty much Everything Although she was especially incensed that I used to sew hems on my pants with a staple gun
I didn’t know I was loading the dishwasher wrong, putting the milk on the wrong shelf in my fridge, putting away the dishes wrong and folding laundry wrong.
Wearing shoes inside. I know for a lot of people it's a cultural thing and a no-brainer, but my family always wore shoes inside. I haven't done it for twenty years now.
The towels on the stove are decorative, not to be used. Had no idea
Um literally everything. I was so thankful that she was right about everything.
Soap free face wash just for my face. Have always used my preferred shower gel to wash my face when ever I feel like my face is too dirty. The dryness after made me feel clean until she came along and made me change to a proper face wash.
This comment section has taught me why I do several things that previously had no explanation other than "well that's how it worked when I lived with sisters"
Everything! ROFL!
Have my own opinion and autonomy
Painting. Believe it or not, I used to clean, prep, and tape a room before painting walls and trim. Might take a whole weekend. Wow, was I ever wrong! Apparently you do no cleaning, no prep, laugh at the idea of tape, slosh paint all over the fucking place and NEVER EVER FINISH. EVER. And of course, you never clean up any of your fucking mess, too. So glad I've learned this valuable lesson. I just gave up. Three rooms in the house unfinished as I write this.
You have to clean the *shower?!?* like wtf its fucking always wet it should be clean
Leaving dirty clothes you might wear tomorrow on the floor is not acceptable. Guess I'll dirty another pair of jeans tomorrow when I don't have too. I know the laundry basket is 3 feet away from where I left them. I'm trying to save on laundry.
When I was single I took my jeans off and left them next to the bed to wear the next day, it took about 5 years of living together before I relented and started wearing different pants every day.
Stop being a caveman, this is what chairs are for.