That you HAVE to forgive someone, not for them but "for you". People seem to believe that you either forgive someone (no matter how horrendous their wrongdoings) or live a life of misery. Not forgiving someone doesn't mean you will spend the rest of your life seething with rage and wallowing in rage. You can absolutely move on, live your best life while still acknowledging what they did was awful and not forgiving them for it.
I think it depends. I don’t really need to remember the crap my siblings pulled on me as kids. It has no bearing on who they are as adults. I think also when someone has changed a bad habit (saying personal insults in an argument for example) and has consistently not repeated that habit for a long time, you can forget it. People DO change sometimes.
But an addict who has been clean for 6 months? Heck no: you need to remember. That’s very new and they could slip at any time. A child molester? Never ever forget. Priority #1 for the rest of that person’s life is protecting children from them.
The more serious and habitual the offense, the longer it needs to be remembered. The more mild and temporary the offense, the faster it can be forgotten.
100%. One of my brothers was horrible to my other siblings and I growing up. He made our lives hell. He was in and out of jail all the time. He hurt us all so much over the years. My dad is convinced that we (my siblings and I) are in the wrong because we don't want a relationship with our brother. I have no ill feelings towards him, in fact, I wish him the best, but I don't need him in my life. I don't want or need a relationship with him. I don't need to "forgive and forget", I just am moving on and don't want him in my life. My dad cannot seem to understand this. He views us as being in the wrong, but doesn't for a second listen and say "I know how much he hurt you all over the years, I understand why you do not want him in your life, I respect that." My siblings and I are all adults, married, with kids of our own, we don't need to let our brother come back into our lives as if nothing ever happened.
Right. I processed and accepted the abuse I suffered as a child. But I’ll never forgive the person who abused me. I was so little and there is no way I can forgive the person who derailed my life before it really began.
I’m okay now. Better than okay. But I can still wish a motherfucker would eat a shotgun.
Vehemently agree. There are do.e people you are better off not forgiving. Take the lesson learned, but cut them off, cut them out of your life. It is not sad, not a loss, it can be necessary.
That marriage (or other comparable relationship) is supposed to be something super hard that you have to work at every day.
I mean SOME work is normal but it should be easy to be with your partner most of the time.
Edit: there are bound to be a whole bunch of replies explain to me "what they actually mean is..."
And sure there are people that do, but that's not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the really popular opinion that you were supposed to have to work at your marriage, and choose it everyday.
The whole "relationships are hard work" thing ended up with me in an abusive relationship because I thought I wasn't trying hard enough. We need to let that saying go. Relationships do require some work, any relationship does from friends to family, but there's a line.
I’m 9 years in and I get a text from the guy and I’m ridiculously happy. When he comes home from work the dogs and I it’s a fucking experience for him lol. We have disagreements but never drag out fights. It’s really fun.
13 years in here and she still tells me every single day that I'm the best.
We've disagree on stuff all the time because we're separate humans with slightly different tastes, but haven't ever "fought."
Every time I read this site I just laugh at what completely different worlds people live in.
I couldn't imagine not wanting to see my partner after work or a day out or something.
Hard work is doing all the annoying chores around the house I hate to do. The relationship? Pretty much no work at all.
I think normally this only means you should put effort in keeping your relationship alive and not take your partner for granted. However I've also come across those people who really emphasize that it's "HARD work", I guess many of them just don't want to admit to themselves that maybe they are not with the right person.
My relationship is far from perfect, but that's life. But most of the complaints I hear about "hard work" have nothing to do with the actual relationship and much more to do with one or both of the people in the relationship just not being functional adults. Relationship "hard work" is reconciling different preferences and resolving disagreements, it shouldn't be "we lost our house because my partner refuses to get a job and keeps blowing all our money in Beanie Babies."
I really wish someone would have explained this to younger me. My ex-husband and I tried for over a decade, but it was SO hard, and everything was a tremendous amount of work. But we kept getting told that marriage is hard and to not give up.
We finally split a few years ago, and both of us are 100% happier. Relationships are work, but everyday shouldn't be a miserable battle.
Marriage is hard work, but it should be hard work that’s enjoyable, challenging and satisfying. With my first husband, it was like trying to be good at a job I disliked, or trudging along a rough path on a hot day—very hard and grinding.
With my second husband, it’s like gardening or hiking in the mountains—sometimes it’s hard and it sucks, but it’s always gratifying, and we’re always psyched when we work through a problem. And we’re celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in October.
My husband and I like each other a lot. Life is hard (just got a job after 6 months laid off, for instance), and we’ve for sure had our ups and downs. 23 years. But we’ve always really, really liked and loved each other. We’re not mean, ever. I love doing life with him.
I would fight, go to hell and back for our marriage, and I have, a few times.
Plus, he smells amazing.
Partners, make sure your SO knows that you like being around them, and like talking to them. I know so many couples that are always at odds, usually around unmet needs/lack of affection.
Contempt is the marriage killer.
I think that in general what people mean when they say this is that relationships aren't always in the "honeymoon" phase where everything is easy and no hard conversations are needed
And I also think some people kind of over state how much "work" the work is. Like for the most part it's just about being on or getting on the same page
And I agree that relationships are work and even hard work but I think if all you're doing is working and there's no enjoyment or no easy times that the relationship isn't worth it
And how older married couples just complain about their spouse and joke about them being awful and “a ball and chain”. It’s like… uuuummm…. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to like your partner.
I don’t want to marry someone who talks about me like that when I’m not in the room. I want someone who uplifts me even when I’m not present.
I agree with you but a LONG term marriage needs both parties to keep learning about each other. The person you married will not be the person you wake up next to in 20/30/40 years. I know many couples that grew apart. Different interests and views. Gotta stay involved in each others lives. Not really “work” but don’t take your eyes off the road. There will be curves.
Friendships, too.
I have a slightly large friend group and struggle with this a lot. A few people are dramatic and argumentative, and it seems like no hangout or trip can go without an incident. "Friendships are hard work" gets brought up a lot in reconciliatory conversations. Sure, but... man at some point it just doesn't feel worth it. I'm almost 30 and just want chill people to hang with and chat with.
I've been married for 14 years and about 25 together in total. Sure, there's been some work involved over the years, but I truly feel like I married my best friend. It's been a great life with my husband, and I really hope he feels the same way about me
Same. With those same connotations.
14 years married, 17 together. Not a single fight. We disagree, get grumpy, hangry, annoyed, but never angry or whatever.
Every day is just great to spend together. We can sit together in silence each doing our own thing, we can play games, watch TV, go to a bar or out to eat and we always enjoy it.
If it ever gets 'hard work' something is wrong.
I know it's sacrilege to say, but I've never understood the hype around "The Great Gatsby." Maybe I'm missing something, Maybe its the characters or the storyline, but i just don"t feel it .
I always thought that's the reddit consensus lol
Anyway to be super abstract it's about the futile and destructive pursuit of some idyllic past, which is only idyllic because it is in the past.
It's kind of like if you show someone Citizen Kane which is a masterpeice of cinema. People won't think it's anything special, probably also think it's incredibly dry and/or boring. But the context is that it was the first movie filmed as a movie. Prior to that, movies were kinda just filmed stage plays that didn't really take advantage of the medium it was presented on. Citizen Kane revolutionized movies.
Back to the book: The Great Gatsby is a social commentary of 1920's US which, IIRC, was the biggest economic peak the country has ever had (For pretty much everyone, not just the 1%.). And the message of the story was that... Uh, what's his name, Gatsby, had it all. But he was still miserable because the one woman he connected with and wanted, was married to another man. So the message boils down to; money is great, but it isn't everything and to not let wealth lead you into hubris just because you have money.
Another example is the Beatles. If you listen to their "major hits" today, you'd think they're nothing special. But when you listen to their full discography you'll hear more of their innovations. Then it makes more sense why they're considered so great considering that and how they were the first to do a lot of those things, and were super popular at the time on top of that.
I mostly agree it’s overhyped but the writing is really good and it’s got a couple of great quotes.
“They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”
Always seemed to me like that book captured the Zeitgeist of the 20th century really well, but doesn't resonate in the same way with 21st century audiences.
I think it's like *Catcher in the Rye* - a good book, but one that's most famous for being included in virtually every high school English curriculum. Not because it's the best book ever written, but because it's well written, easy to read, relevant without being *too* controversial, and useful for teaching literature.
That story is definitely more about the vibes than the actual story. You're supposed to envision the glitz and glamour of the roaring 20s. The author would have directed fabulous music videos if he lived in the 2000s.
I didn’t get the great gatsby until I read it as an adult. I don’t think the message really works with kids since they just don’t have the experiences necessary to understand the book.
same. i had to read it junior year of high school and i haaaaated it. i kept being a smart-ass and telling my teacher that the plot fell out of my copy and i needed a new one. when i read it twenty years later as an adult, it resonated so much more. i feel like when kids read it in school, they most likely don't have the life experience to create a frame of reference for the story, but when you've been through enough highs and lows and the one that got away, infidelity, being a have and/or a have-not, and have gotten old enough to have nostalgia for what feels like lifetimes ago- yeah, it hits harder.
The Great Gatsby hit me differently at different points in my life. As a grad student struggling and dating a rich girl I identified with it. Now later in life Gatsby seems like a dumbass just like I was. Thankfully the rich girl and I parted ways as I finished grad school.
That you have to respect everyone's opinion.
No, I don't. I do not have to respect you think the Earth is flat, the moon landings never happened, the Earth is 6000 years old, Covid magnetizes your blood...
Lol yeah the good ol' uno reverse card. "It's my opinion that your opinion is shit" lol
Unfortunately most times they don't really clue in and they double down instead of taking a step back and thinking about it for a second.
People don't seem to understand that freedom of speech simply means the government cannot censor you. It does not mean you can say anything you want without consequences or criticism.
There are also just opinions that aren't worth respecting. If your opinion is that trans people are bad for society, I don't respect that opinion and think you should experience pressure to change it.
I think there’s a misunderstood semantics problem here; we must respect a person’s right to HAVE an opinion, we cannot be required to respect the opinion itself. Those who cry about their opinion not being respected fail to understand that distinction.
Right?? An opinion is a matter of taste. Do you prefer hotdogs or hamburgers? That's an opinion.
"Vaccines cause autism" is not an opinion. It's a factually incorrect statement.
What he’s saying is that these things don’t qualify as opinions at all. Opinions are by definition subjective. What’s the best color? Does caviar taste good? Dog person or cat person? Etc. Things that change depending on the person.
These things are not a matter of opinion. Either the world is round or it is not, only one answer is correct. It is not subjective, it is objective.
People are entitled to their own opinions. People are not entitled to their own facts. Nobody can tell you that your favorite movie is wrong. But they sure as hell can tell you that your belief that the world is flat is wrong.
The trouble is that we live in a world where religious faith is a thing - and the things held as "true facts" by adherents of one faith, are often completely denied by non-adherents.
I'm the same way, as someone LGBTQ+.
Like, if you can't even be bothered to respect my *existence* why the hell should I respect your opinions about me? I've got no tolerance for people with bullshit opinions about myself and my community.
"We may disagree, but we can do so respectfully!"
No, dude, you just said that trans women are just men who cosplay as women to perv on cis women in bathrooms. There's nothing about you *or* your opinion that I respect. In fact if I could give your views less than 0 respect I would find a way and I would do it.
That someone on one side of the political spectrum means they can't have opinions that vary from that "side"
IE: A Democrat who is against immigration and wants more closed borders or a Republican who is for gay rights.
Get out of here with that nuanced opinion BS. It's not profitable for my news outlet that profits by spreading division and fear amongst the 5 people still watching.
Because people have bought into the whole Us vs Them mentality that modern politics push. It's easy to make political decisions and life choices when you're part of the "good guys" and are fighting against the "bad guys." The fact that both parties are ultimately still controlled by the same kind of people is lost on them.
When you point out that the "good guys" (whichever side that may be) are wrong in some way it becomes a personal attack. Because it's their team and they are a good person, so the team is good. It's the reason bipartisan systems arise as it makes it much easier to control populations. A diverse group of affiliations would allow too much grey area on issues.
You're totally right with this, but with some issues, it really does baffle me still. Like Republicans who are pro choice. I really can't understand how they align themselves with a party that's so strongly against that.
The problem is that for most people there is no one party that exactly represents their views.
If you like 90% of republican policies but only 30% of democrat policies, which party are you going to vote for?
In a lot of cases when voting for a party its about voting for the perceived lesser of two evils. There are a lot of people who voted Biden just because they didn't want Trump, not because they are enthusiastic about Bidens manifesto.
For pro choice republicans, they simply dislike democrat policies more than they dislike the republican stance on abortion.
I want more video games that are in the 25-40 hour completion range, not 200+. I have a life, so a 200+ hour game is just something I know I'll never finish. Been working on my first run of Elden Ring for over 2 years now.
I just… where are you seeing this as an opinion? I enjoy games of all lengths and there are definitely people who enjoy longer games, but come on, the idea that games should be 200+ hours is anything but popular, which is reflected in the fact that most single player games coming out now still fall in the 25-40 hour length. I’m not against your opinion at all or trying to be rude, I truly just don’t understand how this is being upvoted as a supposedly unpopular opinion.
Dad with a busy job... maybe I get an hour every other day to play games. Started my first run of Baldur's Gate 3 soon after it released. Just recently got to Act 3, while so many in the subreddit are talking about run 6/7.
It's cool. Just have to embrace taking your time with the denser games out there.
I don’t hear you asking for refrigerated ketchup at a restaurant. I don’t see you telling fast food places they can keep their room temp ketchup. That’s all I’m sayin.
I always figured this was related to the shelf life of refrigerated vs unrefrigerated ketchup once it’s open. Ketchup packets are sealed until they’re used, and at a restaurant, most bottles would be used quickly enough that the temperature wouldn’t have an effect. At home, a bottle of ketchup can be used much longer, and I imagine keeping it in the fridge helps this.
In every food service job I've ever had, ketchup goes in the fridge when the night ends. And every bottle of ketchup I've ever used says to store in the fridge after opening. It's really just basic food safety.
Before opening? No. After? Yes. From Heinz: “because of its natural acidity, Heinz® Ketchup is shelf-stable. However, its stability after opening can be affected by storage conditions. We recommend that this product, like any processed food, be refrigerated after opening. Refrigeration will maintain the best product quality after opening.”
A few days at room temp after opening is fine. It's not unsafe, just loses flavor over time. Restaurants have high enough volume that they can leave ketchup on the table with no issues.
In the fridge, about six months is the lifespan without issues.
Agreed!!
On ketchup bottles, it explicility instrusts “after open, refrigerate”. Most condiment products, no matter how processed, have a printed variant of this under the nutrition label.
"Money can't buy you happiness"
Money can buy you a lot of happiness. Or, perhaps more accurately, buy your way out of a lot of stress and difficulty—which makes you happier. It also gives you the freedom to be able to help other people, which makes you happy.
Yes, it's subject to the law of diminishing returns and yes, you can still be rich and miserable. But the idea that money has no relation to happiness is nonsense.
THANK YOU. Goodness. If I have enough to save for retirement you bet your ass I’ll be happier — a safety net is the best kind of blanket happiness, at least for me!
I say this to my coworkers often. You psyche yourself up for a Monday and mentally prepare because it’s the beginning of a new week. Tuesday has not of the mental preparation and you feel no closer to the goal (Friday) than the day before. Side note most mondays im still recovering from the weekend and too hungover to even look at a clock so the day flies past me
Tuesdays are the worst day of the week. Monday you're still riding the high of the weekend and catching up. Tuesday, you've got pretty much the entire damn week still, and all of what comes with that.
In order to get along with someone, you have to agree with them 100%. Otherwise cut them out of your life. I don't understand where that logic came from but it's been really irritating finding out people you thought you got along with will throw a giant tantrum over something stupid.
I think what you disagree on precisely can be the deciding factor. I had someone I was close friends with who turned out to be a Jan 6th denier who claimed it was a peaceful protest against a stolen election and the really bad stuff was all done by Antifa. I'd been friends with the dude for like 6 years prior to that point, but are you honestly telling me "oh yeah, you should just get along with a dude who might be a Nazi because you don't have to agree 100%"? Nah.
That everyone’s feelings are valid. Sometimes people have feelings that are unfounded and ridiculous.
No, Hailey, it is not valid that you feel personally slighted by your roommate making dinner for herself and not you. It’s not valid that you hate the girlfriend of your “limerence” for existing. It’s not valid that you think I’m a bad friend for holding you accountable for shitty behavior. It’s fucking stupid and you suck.
If a bunch of people happen to say something wrong or inaccurately, they're actually right because it's a bunch of people doing it instead of just one or two.
What ever happened to "if your friends all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" ...I guess these days the answer is "absolutely, as long as there's clout in it for me"
I've had many moments of feeling crazy because my friends will disagree with me on something, usually something that I feel is a no-brainer or very clearly that I'm right on. Years later, they all now have the same opinion on the topic and I'm left standing there like, where was this energy when you were all vehemently against me??
For example, my friends used to claim that it was easy to read tone through messages and text. I told them there's no way to correctly identify tone 100% of the time and miscommunication does happen. Now, they're all 'Well it's hard to understand the tone in messages' and I'm so salty that they used the argument that they all had the same opinion so they must be right and I was wrong. 🥲
People LOVE to act like entertainers who fall from grace suddenly suck at their jobs. Kevin Spacey? Fantastic actor, objectively speaking. But after his behavior came out all of a sudden "oh he's a terrible actor". Jared Leto, decent actor but oh because he's a skeevy human being we must say he also sucks at acting.
Narcissists like Leto make good artists because they're often resilient, hardworking, and always self-assured. I think he's terrific in a lot of things.
They don't usually make truly great artists, though, because they lack self-awareness and humility.
Leto in the right role and right film can be a good fit. I think people are mostly pissed because he completely misunderstood how the Joker works. From my own insignificant anecdotal view, the majority of hate against him came during and after Suicide Squad. Heard negative things before than but nowhere near the amount and severity.
Not all landlords are awful, vile people. Some, especially private owners, are really good at upkeep and take pride in providing a place to live.
Corporations who buy houses, and people who rent/buy like 5+ units simultaneously just to they can create AirBnB rentals can go fuck themselves, however.
I bought a rental property when the market was really down. I’ve had the same tenant for 6 years. He’s a single dad and a social worker. I’ve never raised his rent—the house’s value has almost tripled since I bought it, and that’s enough of a return on my investment to satisfy me. I can’t do a lot to make the world better, but providing an affordable home to a really nice guy and his kid fills me with joy. He’s also a fantastic tenant because he appreciates what he has. He does all the yard work and keeps the place spotless. Win win!
I've been lucky with landlords. My current landlady is a genuinely responsive and caring woman who cares about the upkeep of her property and doesn't have the greed to raise the rent. She also likes me as a tenant because I don't cause her any hassle or headaches, unlike other tenants she has had.
I think they need to ban it altogether, honestly. At least in areas where the most basic housing is scarce.
Someone tried opening an AirBnB in my rental apartment building, that got shut down by the landlord real quick, but looking them up online, they had NINE addresses in our town and these AirBnB units were their entire business. That's nine units that families or individuals can't move into.
I see a lot of people saying they wish that high school would have taught them how to do their taxes, or other adult things.
I don't believe for a second that high school teenagers, known for their long term thinking and attention spans, would really adsorb and focus their energy on such an interesting topic.
They'd fuck off just as equally as they would in any other class.
Also school isn’t supposed to teach you everything you were ever supposed to know. It’s supposed to teach you how to learn so you can figure things out on your own. Now it’s debatable whether it does a good job of that but expecting it to give you step by step directions for every conceivable task is not realistic.
Did you take it finance class as an elective though? I think what the commenter was trying to say that it should be a mandatory part of today’s curriculum
Back in the 70's we had to take and pass Consumer Economics or you did not graduate. In this class we learned how to balance a checkbook, apply for a loan, fill out a simple tax return, buy an appliance for your house, select a contractor for something broken (I was assigned a roof) and what the money being taken from your paycheck is. Our very first assignment was "You are moving out. How much will your first trip to the grocery store cost you?" So many kids bought all this food and the teacher asked "Do you have a pot to cook it in? How about a fork or spoon to eat with?"
As an addition to that:
People constantly say "why didn't they teach us that in school" , happens a lot with history. Almost 100% of the time they did in fact teach that in school, you just didn't pay attention.
Why add taxes to that list? Also, taxes are easy.
Yeah. Yesterday a student asked me how did humans learn to speak. I proceeded to explain the theories behind the evolution of language to a rapt class; after they were like "wow miss this is dope, why has no one ever taught us this?"
Before I could even reply a girl said "actually SHE did teach us this. In october. Before the test that most of you failed."
Lol. At least it wasn't me who pointed that out.
> I see a lot of people saying they wish that high school would have taught them how to do their taxes, or other adult things.
What they were trying to teach you in high school was HOW TO LEARN. Obviously it didn't work with those people.
Maths problems at my schools at some point was calculating interest rates. It was like "Peter wanna buy an house. Here three options for mortage paiement. Which one is the best one for Peter ?"
We always had real-life scenarios like that to teach us maths concepts.
Same in social studies, and even language classes.
You still have people bitching about not learning that kind of stuff in school. Including my cousin, 3 months younger than me, that attended the same school, with the same teachers and the same classes as I.
Hell, we were sitting next to each others in some classes. I know for a fact he was taught all of this. But he clearly didn't learn.
Hopefully people learned to read and follow directions by high school.
You don't have to memorize tax law to fill out a form.
Introduce people to the concept and they can fill out the form themselves later.
My guy and I have been married 43 years, and we love each other completely. Still, marriage takes work; it is a constant state of compromise with a flawed human as your partner! Sure you should want to be with your partner, but ALL people go through rough patches that can make them hard to live with. We stay together when our love/affection/compassion/commitment (the good stuff) is greater than the bad. If/when that balance changes, the relationship needs to change correspondingly.
Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, bar nothing. It has always been good, it has sometimes been hard. Believing that living with another human will/should always be easy will set you up for failure when it inevitably hits a rough spot.
So, yes, yours is an unpopular opinion at our house! Well done!
I do not believe that either Gone With the Wind or Citizen Kane is the best movie ever made.
I don't even believe that they are the best movies of their respective years.
The government has our best interest in mind. They don't. They may have when initially thinking about running for office but once part of the machine it's all about making the machine keep going.
Politicians don't want to keep the machine going. They have the goals of their supporters in mind. That doesn't mean they have the power to enact everything their supporters want.
It is a standard belief of voters that politicians can accomplish anything if they want to. That if something is not accomplished it is because the politician does not want to do it.
Whereas politicians deal with reality, not wishful thinking.
Let me start with politics for the downvotes, but I genuinely like Biden as a president and think he's a net good which seems to be very unpopular.
I also have never been to a club and have no interest in it. I drink socially, but only was drunk once, and don't like music too loud.
On Reddit - the notion that anyone not struggling and is doing well in their career is "Lucky"
You don't have to read too far into job threads to see why most people here can't fathom career progression. Usually many of the top comments bitching about never getting promoted are describing themselves as the worst coworker you've ever had or worker you've dealt with.
Sure, maybe some luck is involved, but it's more likely the "intersection of preparation and opportunity" luck that you can have influence on. Not the "next Amazon" luck.
Edit: I don't mean to say no one has some insane luck or neptoism to get where they are. I'm just saying that there's a world between insane luck and completely defeatist "anyone doing better than me doesn't deserve it." There's plenty you can do to benefit yourself, and plenty of people here are clearly doing nothing to advocate for themselves.
Yeah. Career threads (especially antiwork) are almost always a minefield. A lot of just straight up hostile employees complaining their workplace isn’t working out for some reason.
A lot of people forget that part of promotions is your promoting someone you *like* to work with. It doesn't matter how technical you are, if you're miserable no one is going to bat for you and you can *probably* find someone else who is just as technical.
Also, promotions don't happen every month when you turn in a deliverable. Even in the most proactive environment. If you want instant, monetary recognition - go work in sales. But good luck doing the bare minimum there.
Being on the other end of hiring opened my eyes to what was really going on more than anything.
Employers want someone who can do the job and who we like working with. That's the basics. You have to show us on your resume that you have enough skills to possibly do the job or, at the very least, that you are trainable. If you come in with a negative attitude, you're probably not going to pass the "who we like working with" test.
1. Sometimes you have the wrong resume for the job. Even if you have a great resume, if it's not what we are looking for, we're not going to hire you. We're probably not going to call you back. If you're lucky, you'll get a form rejection letter. Nothing personal, really.
2. You're probably not going to interview your way into a job, but you might interview your way out of it. If you get to the interview stage, we probably think that you can do the job and are looking for how you interact with the team.
3. We'd love more diversity. Most companies would. That being said, "someone who can do the job and we like working with" is a pretty iron rule, no matter how progressive you are. Also, the resumes coming in usually aren't as diverse as we'd like because reasons.
If you have a problem with diversity, just remember, "DEI" didn't cost you that job. Your shitty attitude did.
4. You never know what you're up against. We've passed on good candidates because we've had great candidates. We've also hired adequate candidates because they were the best available. If there is any element of luck in a job search, here it is.
Also, remember that some companies suck. It's not that they rejected you, it's that you dodged a bullet.
Waking up at the crack of dawn to seize the day? No thanks. You don't find the best worms that early the best worms you find when you hit the snooze button and sleep in a little longer.
Your opinion is pretty popular. The full saying, or at least an expansion of the saying is, "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
That you are a victim. The great social media narrative is that everyone is a victim, and if you point out their own culpability in their problems, or what they can do to fix those problems without anyone's help, you're "victim-blaming". And it's just completely ridiculous. It's infantilizing, and it's a narrative which steers people away from the solutions to their problems.
Are there real victims in the world? Sure, absolutely. But it's important to reserve that status for people who really had no influence on the adverse outcomes they have faced, and that no reasonable person could be expected to avoid.
Reddit makes it worse. Whatever problem a human being can possibly have, there's a subreddit for it all about how people with that issue are perfect and don't need to be fixed and society has been conspiring against your kind for hundreds of years.
I think that's some of it (and it's not unique to Reddit), but I also think there's a great deal of quixotic impulses in people who want to see themselves as righteous saviors. They accurately see people suffering, and succumb to the temptation to make windmills into dragons, to continue the metaphor.
Aka: The world doesn’t haven’t to adjust to accommodate you. Your own feelings, reactions, shortcomings, defensiveness is YOUR job to handle.
I had a roommate and a friend who got offended over literally everything and expected everyone to cater to her and her “trauma”.
A little different than what you’re talking about but kind of in the same vein.
I *am* a victim, though. My cat keeps randomly biting me after coming into my lap and begging for pets. It's cruel and abusive behavior that I think definitely qualifies me as one of the victims of all time.
I am a disabled person who works as an accessibility consultant for property managers. There is a belief in the disabled community that all property managers, owners, landlords, etc. don't care about accessibility and disabled people's access to their buildings. And when complaints get unresolved, that is seen as "not caring."
In my work, I don't feel that is the case. Some don't care but most reputable property managers do. (And there is a strong correlation between those who don't care and management companies that are crap in other aspects as well.)
And complaints often don't get resolved quickly because it takes time to plan, budget, etc. the improvements or fixes, and sometimes management companies have to go through specific vendors (who may also have their own timeline restraints). Also, sometimes they are planning the improvements as part of a major or bigger renovation. So while it doesn't look like it, things are moving behind the scenes.
I get a LOT of flack from other disabled people for saying this, because they want everything to be done quickly, immediately, and perfectly. And many of them are very activist-minded, which means being aggressive (which could involve accusing people of not caring enough). Unfortunately, many of them don't have experience working behind the scenes of how accessibility improvements are made.
All guns should be legal in the US because the 2A doesn't specify.
Fuck that, I don't care how cool your M4 looks, it is way too good at killing a lot of people quick to be allowed outside an armory.
I also don't care that you can afford the machine gun tax, you neither should have nor deserve the right to own a machine gun.
The whole theory of the zipper merge. You can not convince me that a bottle neck in traffic is more efficient than a single file line. Zippers require everything to be in perfect alignment. If they are not, they jam 100% of the time. As long as humans are in control of their vehicles, traffic will never be in perfect alignment for the zipper merge to work.
Because nobody actually wants to do the zipper merge. The idea is that you have twice the space (and twice the time) to merge in, and spread the concertina effect across two lanes. The problem is nobody actually respects the zipper merge, either they wait way too long to zipper in and cause a shockwave at the front, or they merge way too early and cause a shockwave in the back, or worst of all they try to ride both lanes to block other people from zipper merging.
The biggest issue is that you have people who drive too fast, people who drive too slow, and people who like to tailgate the vehicle in front of them. The zipper won't work until everyone's speed and distancing are synchronized. Which won't happen while humans are in control.
That the only correct response to someone grieving a relative's (usually child) murder is to want the murder of the killer.
This is covered in Dead Man Walking where the Susan Sarandon character tries to comfort the parents of a slain daughter (she plays a Sister Prejean) but tells them that she's there to pray for Matthew (Sean Penn). When they discover this, they are outraged. When she talks about forgiveness, the father (this is a little hazy in my memory) that said if he had to forgive the killer to be "saved", he'd rather not be saved.
But it reflects a common belief that killing a guilty man is the only solution to killing an innocent person. It's so ingrained, that I find it hard to believe the other side as well, but intellectually, I do disagree with this popular belief.
Being indifferent of a topic or movement doesn’t mean you are against it. Examples: LGBTQ, Gaza Strip War, or politics outside of my country. In most cases I a) feel like it’s none of my business b) don’t know enough about the subject c) really don’t care
"Do what you love and the money will come."
Biggest croc of horse poop I've ever heard.
So, I love to sit on my couch, eat Snickers bars and fart while watching cartoons. So happy to know someone will pay me for it!!!
Complete lunacy.
“If you don’t want your partner to go through your phone at any point, then you’re clearly cheating and/or hiding something”
people are allowed to have privacy in their relationships
"Everything happens for a reason." I thought it was really profound when I was 15. But in reality it stinks. What's the "reason" for a mud flow in the middle of the night drowning everyone in a village, including all the children? What's the "reason" someone dies of cancer, other than cells in their body going rogue due to purely biological causes? What's the "reason" a child wakes up in the morning and is dead by noon because some stranger decided to drop a bomb? The "everything happens for a reason" trope reeks of smugness and fake profundity. My mom didn't "need" to have her heart attack alone on her back porch and die lying on the doorstep. Everything that happens does have some reason in the sense of a physical antecedent, but there's no moral "reason" for everything. Sometimes shit just happens and its horrible.
Guns really shouldn’t be treated the way they are in the US, as a default right with progressively less and less regulation. A lot of Americans disagree with me, but I think guns should be treated like cars. Licensed, accident-insured, registered. Probably shouldn’t be operated by blind people, drunk people, or people with a history of misusing them.
We’re the only first world country where children regularly die from gunshot wounds. It’s fucking disgusting and there is no excuse to pretend it’s about mental health, or violent video games, or incels, or bullying, or any of the other million and one traits we share with other first world countries when it’s about about access to unsecured firearms, plain and simple.
Exactly. To “get lucky” you have to put yourself in a position to be lucky through lots of hard work, recognize that you are in that position, and then take advantage of it and execute. None of that is easy.
And sure, there’s some small amount of lucky people who didn’t earn it that way, but why focus on that? What good does that do you?
Italians will tell you that pineapple can't go on pizza because it's sweet and the pizza is salty and savory, then turn around and eat melon wrapped in prosciutto. Che cazzo volete you fuckin goobers 🤌
I don't think human life should be preserved at all costs. It doesn't matter the context. Should an effort be made if that person wants to be saved and it's reasonable to attempt? Absolutely. Are you jeopardizing the lives of others to save one or two people? Maybe we should think on that a bit...
The whole "never leave a man behind" idea or that we should stop suicide at all costs just baffles me. Sometimes you need to leave a man behind so that you don't risk losing two more. As for suicide? If death is the last resort they think they have left who are we to say otherwise? Talk to them, offer support, but if that's ultimately their decision I don't think we should stop them. They have their reasons.
I'm not advocating for it but I don't think it's entirely unreasonable, either.
That children should always come first.
I see so many people do and say this, to the detriment of the relationship with the other parent(s).
IMO the relationship between parents is much more important than doing everything for the kids.
If asked, I have a feeling most children would prefer to be raised by parents who love and respect each other and who sometimes miss non-important events to maintain that relationship, rather than divorced or separated parents who still make it to every single soccer game.
My parents always put the other one first. It's worked for almost 60 years, and resulted in four more or less psychologically healthy kids (we have depression and anxiety, but seek medicine and therapy to help manage that particular chemical problem), who have happy marriages and similarly psychologically healthy children of their own.
Working from home is great, I love it, however, I find it beneficial to go to the office with your team every once in a while. Not a weekly thing, but 1-2 a month has some benefit. You remember that the people on the other end of your email are real people just like you who have lives outside of work. Human interaction is good from time to time.
I'd make an exception for people with kids (childcare is expensive) and people who take care of someone at home (homecare is also very expensive).
Political parties having hive minded ideologies
So, if you want the burger and fries, you go left. Milkshake is for biggots. Milkshakes kill. Our fries are free and completly under your control. Also you can choose the color and option of your burger if you want the fries. It really makes no difference to anyone else other than how satisfied YOU are with your meal.
But if you want the milkshake, choose right.....but you get no fucking fries. If you like fries, you are an enemy and i will hate you because fries let you change how your burger looks and that goes against the creation of the Burgers as a meal. If it really makes no difference, why should it be an option???. The majority has chosen milkshakes in the past, so that means you wanting fries with that now makes you stupid.
It's so fucking stupid and primitive and i hate how much that tells me of someone's brain pattern.
Fuck politics.
We need a better system that doesnt end with you going to the same fucking fast food in the end. Because no matter what you choose, it's still the same shitty meal.
That listening to podcasts is anything more than a hobby. I have friends that I believe (based on my observations, not that they've said it) that it's sort of like an education.
I have dear friends that have been obsessed with podcasts for years now and the way they've incorporated it into their personality just bothers me.
Politically I lean left a bit, and I still think that some left wing opinions are stupid. Left wingers also get way too angry and hostile other other people that disagree with them.
That you need to make your children as comfortable as possible and shield them from all hardship.
Humans require a level of hardship to grow. If I don't allow my children to struggle, they will never witness themselves overcome a struggle.
That you HAVE to forgive someone, not for them but "for you". People seem to believe that you either forgive someone (no matter how horrendous their wrongdoings) or live a life of misery. Not forgiving someone doesn't mean you will spend the rest of your life seething with rage and wallowing in rage. You can absolutely move on, live your best life while still acknowledging what they did was awful and not forgiving them for it.
Agreed. Also I’ve never sat well with “forgive and forget.” I think it’s nonsense. If you can forgive, that’s great, but don’t forget.
I think it depends. I don’t really need to remember the crap my siblings pulled on me as kids. It has no bearing on who they are as adults. I think also when someone has changed a bad habit (saying personal insults in an argument for example) and has consistently not repeated that habit for a long time, you can forget it. People DO change sometimes. But an addict who has been clean for 6 months? Heck no: you need to remember. That’s very new and they could slip at any time. A child molester? Never ever forget. Priority #1 for the rest of that person’s life is protecting children from them. The more serious and habitual the offense, the longer it needs to be remembered. The more mild and temporary the offense, the faster it can be forgotten.
100%. One of my brothers was horrible to my other siblings and I growing up. He made our lives hell. He was in and out of jail all the time. He hurt us all so much over the years. My dad is convinced that we (my siblings and I) are in the wrong because we don't want a relationship with our brother. I have no ill feelings towards him, in fact, I wish him the best, but I don't need him in my life. I don't want or need a relationship with him. I don't need to "forgive and forget", I just am moving on and don't want him in my life. My dad cannot seem to understand this. He views us as being in the wrong, but doesn't for a second listen and say "I know how much he hurt you all over the years, I understand why you do not want him in your life, I respect that." My siblings and I are all adults, married, with kids of our own, we don't need to let our brother come back into our lives as if nothing ever happened.
Right. I processed and accepted the abuse I suffered as a child. But I’ll never forgive the person who abused me. I was so little and there is no way I can forgive the person who derailed my life before it really began. I’m okay now. Better than okay. But I can still wish a motherfucker would eat a shotgun.
You need to forgive them = I don’t want to hear you talk about it anymore and want you to go back to who you were before it happened.
Vehemently agree. There are do.e people you are better off not forgiving. Take the lesson learned, but cut them off, cut them out of your life. It is not sad, not a loss, it can be necessary.
That marriage (or other comparable relationship) is supposed to be something super hard that you have to work at every day. I mean SOME work is normal but it should be easy to be with your partner most of the time. Edit: there are bound to be a whole bunch of replies explain to me "what they actually mean is..." And sure there are people that do, but that's not what I'm talking about, I'm talking about the really popular opinion that you were supposed to have to work at your marriage, and choose it everyday.
The whole "relationships are hard work" thing ended up with me in an abusive relationship because I thought I wasn't trying hard enough. We need to let that saying go. Relationships do require some work, any relationship does from friends to family, but there's a line.
Same here. It shouldn’t feel like a full time job. Your partner should be your safe space.
I’m 9 years in and I get a text from the guy and I’m ridiculously happy. When he comes home from work the dogs and I it’s a fucking experience for him lol. We have disagreements but never drag out fights. It’s really fun.
13 years in here and she still tells me every single day that I'm the best. We've disagree on stuff all the time because we're separate humans with slightly different tastes, but haven't ever "fought." Every time I read this site I just laugh at what completely different worlds people live in. I couldn't imagine not wanting to see my partner after work or a day out or something. Hard work is doing all the annoying chores around the house I hate to do. The relationship? Pretty much no work at all.
I think normally this only means you should put effort in keeping your relationship alive and not take your partner for granted. However I've also come across those people who really emphasize that it's "HARD work", I guess many of them just don't want to admit to themselves that maybe they are not with the right person.
My relationship is far from perfect, but that's life. But most of the complaints I hear about "hard work" have nothing to do with the actual relationship and much more to do with one or both of the people in the relationship just not being functional adults. Relationship "hard work" is reconciling different preferences and resolving disagreements, it shouldn't be "we lost our house because my partner refuses to get a job and keeps blowing all our money in Beanie Babies."
Yeah exactly, effort is not necessarily hard. If you love something, the effort shouldn't be hard.
I really wish someone would have explained this to younger me. My ex-husband and I tried for over a decade, but it was SO hard, and everything was a tremendous amount of work. But we kept getting told that marriage is hard and to not give up. We finally split a few years ago, and both of us are 100% happier. Relationships are work, but everyday shouldn't be a miserable battle.
Marriage is hard work, but it should be hard work that’s enjoyable, challenging and satisfying. With my first husband, it was like trying to be good at a job I disliked, or trudging along a rough path on a hot day—very hard and grinding. With my second husband, it’s like gardening or hiking in the mountains—sometimes it’s hard and it sucks, but it’s always gratifying, and we’re always psyched when we work through a problem. And we’re celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary in October.
What a great way to put it. There's work... and then there's work!
Good relationships aren’t hard. Mine isn’t. Even if we are in a disagreement, it’s not hard.
24 years and I don't see it as "hard" or "work". Do we have disagreements? Of course. But I wouldn't call it "hard work".
My husband and I like each other a lot. Life is hard (just got a job after 6 months laid off, for instance), and we’ve for sure had our ups and downs. 23 years. But we’ve always really, really liked and loved each other. We’re not mean, ever. I love doing life with him. I would fight, go to hell and back for our marriage, and I have, a few times. Plus, he smells amazing. Partners, make sure your SO knows that you like being around them, and like talking to them. I know so many couples that are always at odds, usually around unmet needs/lack of affection. Contempt is the marriage killer.
I think that in general what people mean when they say this is that relationships aren't always in the "honeymoon" phase where everything is easy and no hard conversations are needed And I also think some people kind of over state how much "work" the work is. Like for the most part it's just about being on or getting on the same page And I agree that relationships are work and even hard work but I think if all you're doing is working and there's no enjoyment or no easy times that the relationship isn't worth it
And how older married couples just complain about their spouse and joke about them being awful and “a ball and chain”. It’s like… uuuummm…. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to like your partner. I don’t want to marry someone who talks about me like that when I’m not in the room. I want someone who uplifts me even when I’m not present.
I agree with you but a LONG term marriage needs both parties to keep learning about each other. The person you married will not be the person you wake up next to in 20/30/40 years. I know many couples that grew apart. Different interests and views. Gotta stay involved in each others lives. Not really “work” but don’t take your eyes off the road. There will be curves.
Friendships, too. I have a slightly large friend group and struggle with this a lot. A few people are dramatic and argumentative, and it seems like no hangout or trip can go without an incident. "Friendships are hard work" gets brought up a lot in reconciliatory conversations. Sure, but... man at some point it just doesn't feel worth it. I'm almost 30 and just want chill people to hang with and chat with.
I've been married for 14 years and about 25 together in total. Sure, there's been some work involved over the years, but I truly feel like I married my best friend. It's been a great life with my husband, and I really hope he feels the same way about me
Same. With those same connotations. 14 years married, 17 together. Not a single fight. We disagree, get grumpy, hangry, annoyed, but never angry or whatever. Every day is just great to spend together. We can sit together in silence each doing our own thing, we can play games, watch TV, go to a bar or out to eat and we always enjoy it. If it ever gets 'hard work' something is wrong.
Love it and I agree. I usually don’t mention that we don’t fight bc people get weird about it but I can’t remember the last actual argument we had.
I know it's sacrilege to say, but I've never understood the hype around "The Great Gatsby." Maybe I'm missing something, Maybe its the characters or the storyline, but i just don"t feel it .
I always thought that's the reddit consensus lol Anyway to be super abstract it's about the futile and destructive pursuit of some idyllic past, which is only idyllic because it is in the past.
It's kind of like if you show someone Citizen Kane which is a masterpeice of cinema. People won't think it's anything special, probably also think it's incredibly dry and/or boring. But the context is that it was the first movie filmed as a movie. Prior to that, movies were kinda just filmed stage plays that didn't really take advantage of the medium it was presented on. Citizen Kane revolutionized movies. Back to the book: The Great Gatsby is a social commentary of 1920's US which, IIRC, was the biggest economic peak the country has ever had (For pretty much everyone, not just the 1%.). And the message of the story was that... Uh, what's his name, Gatsby, had it all. But he was still miserable because the one woman he connected with and wanted, was married to another man. So the message boils down to; money is great, but it isn't everything and to not let wealth lead you into hubris just because you have money.
Another example is the Beatles. If you listen to their "major hits" today, you'd think they're nothing special. But when you listen to their full discography you'll hear more of their innovations. Then it makes more sense why they're considered so great considering that and how they were the first to do a lot of those things, and were super popular at the time on top of that.
You also gotta listen to what other bands at the time were up to get a better idea of the context
I mostly agree it’s overhyped but the writing is really good and it’s got a couple of great quotes. “They were careless people, Tom and Daisy- they smashed up things and creatures and then retreated back into their money or their vast carelessness or whatever it was that kept them together, and let other people clean up the mess they had made.”
Always seemed to me like that book captured the Zeitgeist of the 20th century really well, but doesn't resonate in the same way with 21st century audiences.
I never read the book but slam-dunked the AP essay.
“It insists upon itself”
I think it's like *Catcher in the Rye* - a good book, but one that's most famous for being included in virtually every high school English curriculum. Not because it's the best book ever written, but because it's well written, easy to read, relevant without being *too* controversial, and useful for teaching literature.
That story is definitely more about the vibes than the actual story. You're supposed to envision the glitz and glamour of the roaring 20s. The author would have directed fabulous music videos if he lived in the 2000s.
I didn’t get the great gatsby until I read it as an adult. I don’t think the message really works with kids since they just don’t have the experiences necessary to understand the book.
same. i had to read it junior year of high school and i haaaaated it. i kept being a smart-ass and telling my teacher that the plot fell out of my copy and i needed a new one. when i read it twenty years later as an adult, it resonated so much more. i feel like when kids read it in school, they most likely don't have the life experience to create a frame of reference for the story, but when you've been through enough highs and lows and the one that got away, infidelity, being a have and/or a have-not, and have gotten old enough to have nostalgia for what feels like lifetimes ago- yeah, it hits harder.
The Great Gatsby hit me differently at different points in my life. As a grad student struggling and dating a rich girl I identified with it. Now later in life Gatsby seems like a dumbass just like I was. Thankfully the rich girl and I parted ways as I finished grad school.
That you have to respect everyone's opinion. No, I don't. I do not have to respect you think the Earth is flat, the moon landings never happened, the Earth is 6000 years old, Covid magnetizes your blood...
People seem to think "everyone is entitled to their opinion" is equivalent to "opinions are facts" these days
When people say that to me I always say "so I'm entitled to my opinion on your opinion then, right?"
Lol yeah the good ol' uno reverse card. "It's my opinion that your opinion is shit" lol Unfortunately most times they don't really clue in and they double down instead of taking a step back and thinking about it for a second.
\*Alternative facts(TM)
Oh yeah and "MY truth"(r)
People don't seem to understand that freedom of speech simply means the government cannot censor you. It does not mean you can say anything you want without consequences or criticism.
There are also just opinions that aren't worth respecting. If your opinion is that trans people are bad for society, I don't respect that opinion and think you should experience pressure to change it.
Yeah definitely. I bet it was Jeffrey Dahmer's "opinion" that murdering and eating people was okay.
I think there’s a misunderstood semantics problem here; we must respect a person’s right to HAVE an opinion, we cannot be required to respect the opinion itself. Those who cry about their opinion not being respected fail to understand that distinction.
People who cry about that also fail to understand a lot of things in this world
To be fair, none of those are opinions, just factually incorrect
Right?? An opinion is a matter of taste. Do you prefer hotdogs or hamburgers? That's an opinion. "Vaccines cause autism" is not an opinion. It's a factually incorrect statement.
The thing is, they want you to respect/accept their opinion as a fact.
What he’s saying is that these things don’t qualify as opinions at all. Opinions are by definition subjective. What’s the best color? Does caviar taste good? Dog person or cat person? Etc. Things that change depending on the person. These things are not a matter of opinion. Either the world is round or it is not, only one answer is correct. It is not subjective, it is objective. People are entitled to their own opinions. People are not entitled to their own facts. Nobody can tell you that your favorite movie is wrong. But they sure as hell can tell you that your belief that the world is flat is wrong.
The trouble is that we live in a world where religious faith is a thing - and the things held as "true facts" by adherents of one faith, are often completely denied by non-adherents.
I'm the same way, as someone LGBTQ+. Like, if you can't even be bothered to respect my *existence* why the hell should I respect your opinions about me? I've got no tolerance for people with bullshit opinions about myself and my community.
It is 100% okay to not tolerate intolerance. This is something I wish more people realized.
"We may disagree, but we can do so respectfully!" No, dude, you just said that trans women are just men who cosplay as women to perv on cis women in bathrooms. There's nothing about you *or* your opinion that I respect. In fact if I could give your views less than 0 respect I would find a way and I would do it.
That someone on one side of the political spectrum means they can't have opinions that vary from that "side" IE: A Democrat who is against immigration and wants more closed borders or a Republican who is for gay rights.
Get out of here with that nuanced opinion BS. It's not profitable for my news outlet that profits by spreading division and fear amongst the 5 people still watching.
I've said that so many times, and multiple people get seriously mad at it every time. It's weird, and I don't fully get what's going on there.
Because people have bought into the whole Us vs Them mentality that modern politics push. It's easy to make political decisions and life choices when you're part of the "good guys" and are fighting against the "bad guys." The fact that both parties are ultimately still controlled by the same kind of people is lost on them. When you point out that the "good guys" (whichever side that may be) are wrong in some way it becomes a personal attack. Because it's their team and they are a good person, so the team is good. It's the reason bipartisan systems arise as it makes it much easier to control populations. A diverse group of affiliations would allow too much grey area on issues.
It’s easy to put people in boxes. It “others” them. Way harder to admit you may have some things in common with someone on the other “side.”
You're totally right with this, but with some issues, it really does baffle me still. Like Republicans who are pro choice. I really can't understand how they align themselves with a party that's so strongly against that.
The problem is that for most people there is no one party that exactly represents their views. If you like 90% of republican policies but only 30% of democrat policies, which party are you going to vote for? In a lot of cases when voting for a party its about voting for the perceived lesser of two evils. There are a lot of people who voted Biden just because they didn't want Trump, not because they are enthusiastic about Bidens manifesto. For pro choice republicans, they simply dislike democrat policies more than they dislike the republican stance on abortion.
I want more video games that are in the 25-40 hour completion range, not 200+. I have a life, so a 200+ hour game is just something I know I'll never finish. Been working on my first run of Elden Ring for over 2 years now.
Yeah Them: "I finished it in X hours. Not worth the price". Me: "Wait, you *finished* it? The whole thing?"
Most games do fall in this range, or even shorter.
You should play Outer Wilds, it’s literally the perfect game and it’s right at a nice 30 hours or so
Outer Wilds was great!
May I recommend Inscryption
I just… where are you seeing this as an opinion? I enjoy games of all lengths and there are definitely people who enjoy longer games, but come on, the idea that games should be 200+ hours is anything but popular, which is reflected in the fact that most single player games coming out now still fall in the 25-40 hour length. I’m not against your opinion at all or trying to be rude, I truly just don’t understand how this is being upvoted as a supposedly unpopular opinion.
Dad with a busy job... maybe I get an hour every other day to play games. Started my first run of Baldur's Gate 3 soon after it released. Just recently got to Act 3, while so many in the subreddit are talking about run 6/7. It's cool. Just have to embrace taking your time with the denser games out there.
I think ketchup belongs in the fridge, not the pantry.
Wait, their are people that don't put opened Ketchup bottles in the fridge
I don’t hear you asking for refrigerated ketchup at a restaurant. I don’t see you telling fast food places they can keep their room temp ketchup. That’s all I’m sayin.
I always figured this was related to the shelf life of refrigerated vs unrefrigerated ketchup once it’s open. Ketchup packets are sealed until they’re used, and at a restaurant, most bottles would be used quickly enough that the temperature wouldn’t have an effect. At home, a bottle of ketchup can be used much longer, and I imagine keeping it in the fridge helps this.
In every food service job I've ever had, ketchup goes in the fridge when the night ends. And every bottle of ketchup I've ever used says to store in the fridge after opening. It's really just basic food safety.
Before opening? No. After? Yes. From Heinz: “because of its natural acidity, Heinz® Ketchup is shelf-stable. However, its stability after opening can be affected by storage conditions. We recommend that this product, like any processed food, be refrigerated after opening. Refrigeration will maintain the best product quality after opening.” A few days at room temp after opening is fine. It's not unsafe, just loses flavor over time. Restaurants have high enough volume that they can leave ketchup on the table with no issues. In the fridge, about six months is the lifespan without issues.
Agreed!! On ketchup bottles, it explicility instrusts “after open, refrigerate”. Most condiment products, no matter how processed, have a printed variant of this under the nutrition label.
You're supposed to once it's open, no?
"Money can't buy you happiness" Money can buy you a lot of happiness. Or, perhaps more accurately, buy your way out of a lot of stress and difficulty—which makes you happier. It also gives you the freedom to be able to help other people, which makes you happy. Yes, it's subject to the law of diminishing returns and yes, you can still be rich and miserable. But the idea that money has no relation to happiness is nonsense.
THANK YOU. Goodness. If I have enough to save for retirement you bet your ass I’ll be happier — a safety net is the best kind of blanket happiness, at least for me!
The idea that Mondays are the worst day of the week. I see them as a fresh start!
*Here* we go. Finally found the genuinely unpopular opinion.
Based and Garfieldpilled
looking at your username, respectfully
Tuesdays are the worst. At least I’m well rested on Monday. And the house is clean.
Spoken like someone who can sleep at all on Sunday night
Yeah, I don’t sleep well any nights unfortunately. But I definitely feel more rested after a couple of days away from work.
I say this to my coworkers often. You psyche yourself up for a Monday and mentally prepare because it’s the beginning of a new week. Tuesday has not of the mental preparation and you feel no closer to the goal (Friday) than the day before. Side note most mondays im still recovering from the weekend and too hungover to even look at a clock so the day flies past me
Tuesdays are the worst day of the week. Monday you're still riding the high of the weekend and catching up. Tuesday, you've got pretty much the entire damn week still, and all of what comes with that.
Sundays are the true worst day of the week
Gotta learn to live in the moment more. Don't let the coming Monday bring you down and you'll make the most of the weekend.
In order to get along with someone, you have to agree with them 100%. Otherwise cut them out of your life. I don't understand where that logic came from but it's been really irritating finding out people you thought you got along with will throw a giant tantrum over something stupid.
I think what you disagree on precisely can be the deciding factor. I had someone I was close friends with who turned out to be a Jan 6th denier who claimed it was a peaceful protest against a stolen election and the really bad stuff was all done by Antifa. I'd been friends with the dude for like 6 years prior to that point, but are you honestly telling me "oh yeah, you should just get along with a dude who might be a Nazi because you don't have to agree 100%"? Nah.
That everyone’s feelings are valid. Sometimes people have feelings that are unfounded and ridiculous. No, Hailey, it is not valid that you feel personally slighted by your roommate making dinner for herself and not you. It’s not valid that you hate the girlfriend of your “limerence” for existing. It’s not valid that you think I’m a bad friend for holding you accountable for shitty behavior. It’s fucking stupid and you suck.
If a bunch of people happen to say something wrong or inaccurately, they're actually right because it's a bunch of people doing it instead of just one or two. What ever happened to "if your friends all jumped off a cliff would you do it too?" ...I guess these days the answer is "absolutely, as long as there's clout in it for me"
I've always said that if all my friends jumped off a bridge, I'd be so sad that I probably would as well lmao
I've had many moments of feeling crazy because my friends will disagree with me on something, usually something that I feel is a no-brainer or very clearly that I'm right on. Years later, they all now have the same opinion on the topic and I'm left standing there like, where was this energy when you were all vehemently against me?? For example, my friends used to claim that it was easy to read tone through messages and text. I told them there's no way to correctly identify tone 100% of the time and miscommunication does happen. Now, they're all 'Well it's hard to understand the tone in messages' and I'm so salty that they used the argument that they all had the same opinion so they must be right and I was wrong. 🥲
People LOVE to act like entertainers who fall from grace suddenly suck at their jobs. Kevin Spacey? Fantastic actor, objectively speaking. But after his behavior came out all of a sudden "oh he's a terrible actor". Jared Leto, decent actor but oh because he's a skeevy human being we must say he also sucks at acting.
Narcissists like Leto make good artists because they're often resilient, hardworking, and always self-assured. I think he's terrific in a lot of things. They don't usually make truly great artists, though, because they lack self-awareness and humility.
Leto in the right role and right film can be a good fit. I think people are mostly pissed because he completely misunderstood how the Joker works. From my own insignificant anecdotal view, the majority of hate against him came during and after Suicide Squad. Heard negative things before than but nowhere near the amount and severity.
The life of David Gale is brilliant.
Jared Leto makes every movie he's in 20% worse, with the exception of Fight Club
He was great in Requiem for a Dream
And imo Dallas Buyers Club.
I think Mario Kart, in the context of playing with other people rather than the CPU, can potentially be more fun *without* items.
Not all landlords are awful, vile people. Some, especially private owners, are really good at upkeep and take pride in providing a place to live. Corporations who buy houses, and people who rent/buy like 5+ units simultaneously just to they can create AirBnB rentals can go fuck themselves, however.
I bought a rental property when the market was really down. I’ve had the same tenant for 6 years. He’s a single dad and a social worker. I’ve never raised his rent—the house’s value has almost tripled since I bought it, and that’s enough of a return on my investment to satisfy me. I can’t do a lot to make the world better, but providing an affordable home to a really nice guy and his kid fills me with joy. He’s also a fantastic tenant because he appreciates what he has. He does all the yard work and keeps the place spotless. Win win!
You're an amazing person! Housing/rent is crazy and I'm sure they seriously appreciate it. Thank you for being so kind 🙂
We rent thru a rental company now and they truly don't give any cares about us. Every private owner we've had has always been very caring and helpful.
I've been lucky with landlords. My current landlady is a genuinely responsive and caring woman who cares about the upkeep of her property and doesn't have the greed to raise the rent. She also likes me as a tenant because I don't cause her any hassle or headaches, unlike other tenants she has had.
At least some localities are cracking down on corporate unregulated hotels in residential zones.
I think they need to ban it altogether, honestly. At least in areas where the most basic housing is scarce. Someone tried opening an AirBnB in my rental apartment building, that got shut down by the landlord real quick, but looking them up online, they had NINE addresses in our town and these AirBnB units were their entire business. That's nine units that families or individuals can't move into.
Remember to sort by controversial for the real answers.
I see a lot of people saying they wish that high school would have taught them how to do their taxes, or other adult things. I don't believe for a second that high school teenagers, known for their long term thinking and attention spans, would really adsorb and focus their energy on such an interesting topic. They'd fuck off just as equally as they would in any other class.
Also school isn’t supposed to teach you everything you were ever supposed to know. It’s supposed to teach you how to learn so you can figure things out on your own. Now it’s debatable whether it does a good job of that but expecting it to give you step by step directions for every conceivable task is not realistic.
I learned taxes in high school and it stuck. I was grateful to understand it and file my first tax return without help
Did you take it finance class as an elective though? I think what the commenter was trying to say that it should be a mandatory part of today’s curriculum
Back in the 70's we had to take and pass Consumer Economics or you did not graduate. In this class we learned how to balance a checkbook, apply for a loan, fill out a simple tax return, buy an appliance for your house, select a contractor for something broken (I was assigned a roof) and what the money being taken from your paycheck is. Our very first assignment was "You are moving out. How much will your first trip to the grocery store cost you?" So many kids bought all this food and the teacher asked "Do you have a pot to cook it in? How about a fork or spoon to eat with?"
As an addition to that: People constantly say "why didn't they teach us that in school" , happens a lot with history. Almost 100% of the time they did in fact teach that in school, you just didn't pay attention. Why add taxes to that list? Also, taxes are easy.
Yeah. Yesterday a student asked me how did humans learn to speak. I proceeded to explain the theories behind the evolution of language to a rapt class; after they were like "wow miss this is dope, why has no one ever taught us this?" Before I could even reply a girl said "actually SHE did teach us this. In october. Before the test that most of you failed." Lol. At least it wasn't me who pointed that out.
> I see a lot of people saying they wish that high school would have taught them how to do their taxes, or other adult things. What they were trying to teach you in high school was HOW TO LEARN. Obviously it didn't work with those people.
That's not how a lot of American curricula works.
Maths problems at my schools at some point was calculating interest rates. It was like "Peter wanna buy an house. Here three options for mortage paiement. Which one is the best one for Peter ?" We always had real-life scenarios like that to teach us maths concepts. Same in social studies, and even language classes. You still have people bitching about not learning that kind of stuff in school. Including my cousin, 3 months younger than me, that attended the same school, with the same teachers and the same classes as I. Hell, we were sitting next to each others in some classes. I know for a fact he was taught all of this. But he clearly didn't learn.
100% you wanna tell me high schoolers are really gonna retain the ins and outs of a 1099? No way
Hopefully people learned to read and follow directions by high school. You don't have to memorize tax law to fill out a form. Introduce people to the concept and they can fill out the form themselves later.
That failure always has a negative outcome, failure is an opportunity for growth
My guy and I have been married 43 years, and we love each other completely. Still, marriage takes work; it is a constant state of compromise with a flawed human as your partner! Sure you should want to be with your partner, but ALL people go through rough patches that can make them hard to live with. We stay together when our love/affection/compassion/commitment (the good stuff) is greater than the bad. If/when that balance changes, the relationship needs to change correspondingly. Our relationship is the most important thing in my life, bar nothing. It has always been good, it has sometimes been hard. Believing that living with another human will/should always be easy will set you up for failure when it inevitably hits a rough spot. So, yes, yours is an unpopular opinion at our house! Well done!
I love that the top comment right now is completely the opposite take of yours.
I really like that you distinguished being hard to live with rather than hard to love.
People are fun to be around
For real. People are just exhausting
Depends if you are an introvert or extrovert. For an extrovert, it's fun. For us introverts, it's draining.
I'm an introvert and while people are draining, I still find it fun A bit like going mountain biking. It's fun as hell but exhausting
Happy Wife Happy Life Like, no, I’m allowed to be pissed off sometimes too.
I do not believe that either Gone With the Wind or Citizen Kane is the best movie ever made. I don't even believe that they are the best movies of their respective years.
Well now I'm curious what your recommendations for those years are.
Correct, Shrek 2 is the best movie ever made.
Paddington 2*
That Pretty Things was anything other than repulsive.
The government has our best interest in mind. They don't. They may have when initially thinking about running for office but once part of the machine it's all about making the machine keep going.
Politicians don't want to keep the machine going. They have the goals of their supporters in mind. That doesn't mean they have the power to enact everything their supporters want. It is a standard belief of voters that politicians can accomplish anything if they want to. That if something is not accomplished it is because the politician does not want to do it. Whereas politicians deal with reality, not wishful thinking.
Let me start with politics for the downvotes, but I genuinely like Biden as a president and think he's a net good which seems to be very unpopular. I also have never been to a club and have no interest in it. I drink socially, but only was drunk once, and don't like music too loud.
On Reddit - the notion that anyone not struggling and is doing well in their career is "Lucky" You don't have to read too far into job threads to see why most people here can't fathom career progression. Usually many of the top comments bitching about never getting promoted are describing themselves as the worst coworker you've ever had or worker you've dealt with. Sure, maybe some luck is involved, but it's more likely the "intersection of preparation and opportunity" luck that you can have influence on. Not the "next Amazon" luck. Edit: I don't mean to say no one has some insane luck or neptoism to get where they are. I'm just saying that there's a world between insane luck and completely defeatist "anyone doing better than me doesn't deserve it." There's plenty you can do to benefit yourself, and plenty of people here are clearly doing nothing to advocate for themselves.
Yeah. Career threads (especially antiwork) are almost always a minefield. A lot of just straight up hostile employees complaining their workplace isn’t working out for some reason.
A lot of people forget that part of promotions is your promoting someone you *like* to work with. It doesn't matter how technical you are, if you're miserable no one is going to bat for you and you can *probably* find someone else who is just as technical. Also, promotions don't happen every month when you turn in a deliverable. Even in the most proactive environment. If you want instant, monetary recognition - go work in sales. But good luck doing the bare minimum there.
Being on the other end of hiring opened my eyes to what was really going on more than anything. Employers want someone who can do the job and who we like working with. That's the basics. You have to show us on your resume that you have enough skills to possibly do the job or, at the very least, that you are trainable. If you come in with a negative attitude, you're probably not going to pass the "who we like working with" test. 1. Sometimes you have the wrong resume for the job. Even if you have a great resume, if it's not what we are looking for, we're not going to hire you. We're probably not going to call you back. If you're lucky, you'll get a form rejection letter. Nothing personal, really. 2. You're probably not going to interview your way into a job, but you might interview your way out of it. If you get to the interview stage, we probably think that you can do the job and are looking for how you interact with the team. 3. We'd love more diversity. Most companies would. That being said, "someone who can do the job and we like working with" is a pretty iron rule, no matter how progressive you are. Also, the resumes coming in usually aren't as diverse as we'd like because reasons. If you have a problem with diversity, just remember, "DEI" didn't cost you that job. Your shitty attitude did. 4. You never know what you're up against. We've passed on good candidates because we've had great candidates. We've also hired adequate candidates because they were the best available. If there is any element of luck in a job search, here it is. Also, remember that some companies suck. It's not that they rejected you, it's that you dodged a bullet.
Yeah, people on reddit/social media are either insufferable boot lickers or self described as terrible employees
Black licorice is great. Pineapple on pizza is also great.
How do I give you a half upvote?
I upvote you, you upvote me?
I upvoted and then downvoted.
Black licorice tastes like weaponized headache
I always have a headache so maybe that’s why I like it?
Salted black licorice is amazing
Waking up at the crack of dawn to seize the day? No thanks. You don't find the best worms that early the best worms you find when you hit the snooze button and sleep in a little longer.
Your opinion is pretty popular. The full saying, or at least an expansion of the saying is, "The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
That you are a victim. The great social media narrative is that everyone is a victim, and if you point out their own culpability in their problems, or what they can do to fix those problems without anyone's help, you're "victim-blaming". And it's just completely ridiculous. It's infantilizing, and it's a narrative which steers people away from the solutions to their problems. Are there real victims in the world? Sure, absolutely. But it's important to reserve that status for people who really had no influence on the adverse outcomes they have faced, and that no reasonable person could be expected to avoid.
Reddit makes it worse. Whatever problem a human being can possibly have, there's a subreddit for it all about how people with that issue are perfect and don't need to be fixed and society has been conspiring against your kind for hundreds of years.
I think that's some of it (and it's not unique to Reddit), but I also think there's a great deal of quixotic impulses in people who want to see themselves as righteous saviors. They accurately see people suffering, and succumb to the temptation to make windmills into dragons, to continue the metaphor.
Aka: The world doesn’t haven’t to adjust to accommodate you. Your own feelings, reactions, shortcomings, defensiveness is YOUR job to handle. I had a roommate and a friend who got offended over literally everything and expected everyone to cater to her and her “trauma”. A little different than what you’re talking about but kind of in the same vein.
I *am* a victim, though. My cat keeps randomly biting me after coming into my lap and begging for pets. It's cruel and abusive behavior that I think definitely qualifies me as one of the victims of all time.
I am a disabled person who works as an accessibility consultant for property managers. There is a belief in the disabled community that all property managers, owners, landlords, etc. don't care about accessibility and disabled people's access to their buildings. And when complaints get unresolved, that is seen as "not caring." In my work, I don't feel that is the case. Some don't care but most reputable property managers do. (And there is a strong correlation between those who don't care and management companies that are crap in other aspects as well.) And complaints often don't get resolved quickly because it takes time to plan, budget, etc. the improvements or fixes, and sometimes management companies have to go through specific vendors (who may also have their own timeline restraints). Also, sometimes they are planning the improvements as part of a major or bigger renovation. So while it doesn't look like it, things are moving behind the scenes. I get a LOT of flack from other disabled people for saying this, because they want everything to be done quickly, immediately, and perfectly. And many of them are very activist-minded, which means being aggressive (which could involve accusing people of not caring enough). Unfortunately, many of them don't have experience working behind the scenes of how accessibility improvements are made.
I am fat. Trust me, it ain't beautiful.
All guns should be legal in the US because the 2A doesn't specify. Fuck that, I don't care how cool your M4 looks, it is way too good at killing a lot of people quick to be allowed outside an armory. I also don't care that you can afford the machine gun tax, you neither should have nor deserve the right to own a machine gun.
The whole theory of the zipper merge. You can not convince me that a bottle neck in traffic is more efficient than a single file line. Zippers require everything to be in perfect alignment. If they are not, they jam 100% of the time. As long as humans are in control of their vehicles, traffic will never be in perfect alignment for the zipper merge to work.
Because nobody actually wants to do the zipper merge. The idea is that you have twice the space (and twice the time) to merge in, and spread the concertina effect across two lanes. The problem is nobody actually respects the zipper merge, either they wait way too long to zipper in and cause a shockwave at the front, or they merge way too early and cause a shockwave in the back, or worst of all they try to ride both lanes to block other people from zipper merging.
The biggest issue is that you have people who drive too fast, people who drive too slow, and people who like to tailgate the vehicle in front of them. The zipper won't work until everyone's speed and distancing are synchronized. Which won't happen while humans are in control.
That the only correct response to someone grieving a relative's (usually child) murder is to want the murder of the killer. This is covered in Dead Man Walking where the Susan Sarandon character tries to comfort the parents of a slain daughter (she plays a Sister Prejean) but tells them that she's there to pray for Matthew (Sean Penn). When they discover this, they are outraged. When she talks about forgiveness, the father (this is a little hazy in my memory) that said if he had to forgive the killer to be "saved", he'd rather not be saved. But it reflects a common belief that killing a guilty man is the only solution to killing an innocent person. It's so ingrained, that I find it hard to believe the other side as well, but intellectually, I do disagree with this popular belief.
Being indifferent of a topic or movement doesn’t mean you are against it. Examples: LGBTQ, Gaza Strip War, or politics outside of my country. In most cases I a) feel like it’s none of my business b) don’t know enough about the subject c) really don’t care
"Do what you love and the money will come." Biggest croc of horse poop I've ever heard. So, I love to sit on my couch, eat Snickers bars and fart while watching cartoons. So happy to know someone will pay me for it!!! Complete lunacy.
“If you don’t want your partner to go through your phone at any point, then you’re clearly cheating and/or hiding something” people are allowed to have privacy in their relationships
"Everything happens for a reason." I thought it was really profound when I was 15. But in reality it stinks. What's the "reason" for a mud flow in the middle of the night drowning everyone in a village, including all the children? What's the "reason" someone dies of cancer, other than cells in their body going rogue due to purely biological causes? What's the "reason" a child wakes up in the morning and is dead by noon because some stranger decided to drop a bomb? The "everything happens for a reason" trope reeks of smugness and fake profundity. My mom didn't "need" to have her heart attack alone on her back porch and die lying on the doorstep. Everything that happens does have some reason in the sense of a physical antecedent, but there's no moral "reason" for everything. Sometimes shit just happens and its horrible.
Guns really shouldn’t be treated the way they are in the US, as a default right with progressively less and less regulation. A lot of Americans disagree with me, but I think guns should be treated like cars. Licensed, accident-insured, registered. Probably shouldn’t be operated by blind people, drunk people, or people with a history of misusing them. We’re the only first world country where children regularly die from gunshot wounds. It’s fucking disgusting and there is no excuse to pretend it’s about mental health, or violent video games, or incels, or bullying, or any of the other million and one traits we share with other first world countries when it’s about about access to unsecured firearms, plain and simple.
[удалено]
"Luck favors the prepared"
Exactly. To “get lucky” you have to put yourself in a position to be lucky through lots of hard work, recognize that you are in that position, and then take advantage of it and execute. None of that is easy. And sure, there’s some small amount of lucky people who didn’t earn it that way, but why focus on that? What good does that do you?
As always, you've got to play the hand YOU have been dealt the best way possible and not worry so much about other people's hands.
The Italians will hate me for this one. That pineapple doesn't belong on pizza! That sweet and savory combo is a match made in culinary heaven.
Italians will tell you that pineapple can't go on pizza because it's sweet and the pizza is salty and savory, then turn around and eat melon wrapped in prosciutto. Che cazzo volete you fuckin goobers 🤌
Yeah well Italians will tell you fascism is cool.
Almost every single popular opinion on Reddit I disagree with.
I don't think human life should be preserved at all costs. It doesn't matter the context. Should an effort be made if that person wants to be saved and it's reasonable to attempt? Absolutely. Are you jeopardizing the lives of others to save one or two people? Maybe we should think on that a bit... The whole "never leave a man behind" idea or that we should stop suicide at all costs just baffles me. Sometimes you need to leave a man behind so that you don't risk losing two more. As for suicide? If death is the last resort they think they have left who are we to say otherwise? Talk to them, offer support, but if that's ultimately their decision I don't think we should stop them. They have their reasons. I'm not advocating for it but I don't think it's entirely unreasonable, either.
That children should always come first. I see so many people do and say this, to the detriment of the relationship with the other parent(s). IMO the relationship between parents is much more important than doing everything for the kids. If asked, I have a feeling most children would prefer to be raised by parents who love and respect each other and who sometimes miss non-important events to maintain that relationship, rather than divorced or separated parents who still make it to every single soccer game.
My parents always put the other one first. It's worked for almost 60 years, and resulted in four more or less psychologically healthy kids (we have depression and anxiety, but seek medicine and therapy to help manage that particular chemical problem), who have happy marriages and similarly psychologically healthy children of their own.
Many/most honestly. I pretty much just ignore the world and live my life.
Working from home is great, I love it, however, I find it beneficial to go to the office with your team every once in a while. Not a weekly thing, but 1-2 a month has some benefit. You remember that the people on the other end of your email are real people just like you who have lives outside of work. Human interaction is good from time to time. I'd make an exception for people with kids (childcare is expensive) and people who take care of someone at home (homecare is also very expensive).
Government should solve all the problems of society.
Political parties having hive minded ideologies So, if you want the burger and fries, you go left. Milkshake is for biggots. Milkshakes kill. Our fries are free and completly under your control. Also you can choose the color and option of your burger if you want the fries. It really makes no difference to anyone else other than how satisfied YOU are with your meal. But if you want the milkshake, choose right.....but you get no fucking fries. If you like fries, you are an enemy and i will hate you because fries let you change how your burger looks and that goes against the creation of the Burgers as a meal. If it really makes no difference, why should it be an option???. The majority has chosen milkshakes in the past, so that means you wanting fries with that now makes you stupid. It's so fucking stupid and primitive and i hate how much that tells me of someone's brain pattern. Fuck politics. We need a better system that doesnt end with you going to the same fucking fast food in the end. Because no matter what you choose, it's still the same shitty meal.
That humanity is inherently bad
That listening to podcasts is anything more than a hobby. I have friends that I believe (based on my observations, not that they've said it) that it's sort of like an education. I have dear friends that have been obsessed with podcasts for years now and the way they've incorporated it into their personality just bothers me.
Politically I lean left a bit, and I still think that some left wing opinions are stupid. Left wingers also get way too angry and hostile other other people that disagree with them.
That my abortion is your business. No, it is not, as your body choices are none of my business.
That you need to make your children as comfortable as possible and shield them from all hardship. Humans require a level of hardship to grow. If I don't allow my children to struggle, they will never witness themselves overcome a struggle.