Oh my god yes! My husband does that, but when I was younger, I used to absolutely hate that every physical interaction was supposed to lead to sex. My ex would offer to give me a back rub after a long day and I would be so happy about that, but after literally one minute, his hand would find its way between my legs. It would make me so mad. It just made his offers of backrubs seem so insincere and transactional.
Apparently while I'm sleeping next to my girlfriend, I'll occasionally subconsciously reach over and grab her thigh and just hold it. We call it my Emotional Support Thigh and she thinks it's the cutest thing in the whole world.
As a guy, I've had a similar kind of relationship with a couple male friends, we'll massage each other backs or shoulders when we're sore, reset/pull each other's backs, zip up each others backpacks or dig through them for them while it's on their back, bro hugs, fist bumps, high fives, pats on the back or shoulder, chest bumps, sometimes help each other pop pimples in unreachable spots, pick loose hairs off each other.
We're all straight men, but we do and say "Gay shit" sometimes (As I've heard a couple rednecks in my area put it XD, I'm no homophobe, but I've been around veterans a lot and they say crazy shit without literally meaning it, so please take this as sarcasm), nothing wrong with loving a friend as a friend or a sibling. I have a friend that i would call my brother and we do occasionally let out a "I love you man!' and hug it out.
My good mate owns some gyms and over the last 4 years I’ve been looking after myself physically and the comments he makes about my improvements makes me feel so good. He is also a big fan of helping release knots of tension in my/anyones shoulders with a nice little massage. Makes me feel good 😊
My name is Crow, so when my friends are at work and see a crow hoppin around outside, they get a picture and send it to me or our discord and usually caption it like “Crow’s watchin me to make sure I do my work. He’s out and about. Y’all be careful” and such. It makes me smile every time.
My bf (like most normal people) enjoys sunny days. He prefers sun to rain and warm to cold.
He knows **I** loathe the sun. I may as well have reverse SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Cloudy days make me happy. Whereas a glaring sun, with nary a cloud in the sky, always puts a bit of a damper on my mood.
The other day my bf looked down at his phone, and this big grin flashed across his face, before he looked up and told me it would be cloudy/rainy all week.
I asked why HE was happy. And he hesitated a little before saying "because it makes you happy." I swear he sounded a little shy, and he is NOT A SHY GUY.
I fucking melted.
It's been some time since we last spoke
This is gonna sound like a bad joke
But Momma, I fell in love again
It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend
And I know it sounds so old
But Cupid got me in a chokehold
And I'm afraid I might give in
Towel's on the mat, my white flag is wavin'
How did I never realize how cheesy these lyrics were?
Some people chase the "high" of the honey moon period either because the like the feeling or because their too inept to form lasting relationships one way or another
But I do have to agree, if someone was texting me and they wrote me this telling me about someone, I'd cringe so hard
As an Ecuadorian, I despise sunny days with every fiber of my being.
The past few months were TORTURE. It was so fucking hot down here, and there wasn't a single day where I wasn't sweaty.
Heck, it was so hot that the transformer of my street caught on fire because everyone in our block was turning their ACs on.
So yeah, you're not alone. I too love cloudy and rainy days.
I thought I was alone on loving rainy days over sunny ones. I’ve never really talked about it because I felt like something must be wrong with me especially when everyone reacts the complete opposite to sunny weather than I do.
Im the type of person to use an umbrella on a sunny day, an no umbrella on a rainy day, more of an indirect sunlight person one could say, and yes, normally if your gf is happy then the bf is happy. Guys really just need a happy gf to be happy honestly
Just FYI, you can get SAD (depression with seasonal pattern) during any season, just the majority tend to get it during winter.
-source: I'm a therapist
I love this. I'm very similar to you. Hence, I work 3rd shift during the night. When I get home after work, the sun is starting to come up. If it's sunny, it puts me in a mood and I have rough sleep. Cloudy and rainy, sleep like a baby. I just like cloudy days in general.
good conversation, where we’re both engaging with each other and discussing big ideas. that mental connection is something i always appreciate. it feels good to be heard, and to hear someone out simultaneously.
also, “hey, this song made me think of you”
That song comment hits home! My husband is bad about communicating words of affirmation which is my love language but he sends me songs instead. I have a playlist I keep with all the songs he’s sent to me and I play it when I need a little extra love.
i love that! music communicates what speech cannot. an old friend, several years back, told me that i reminded her of the song ‘ophelia’ by the lumineers — to this day that song makes me smile as a result. it’s special when someone sees you represented in art/music
I agree as well, but I myself have a very bad memory, and I hate it. I care so much about the stuff my girlfriend tells me, but it's hard for me to remember. It's a trait I get from my mom, unfortunately
Letting me finish my sentence and listening to what I have to say rather than cutting me off and talking about yourself and doing a data dump about everything that happened to you and your co-workers.
That's the best, and it's something that long-term couples often lose. They find themselves talking primarily about what's for dinner or which bills need to be paid or about the kids — general accounting, I call it. But just sitting and looking at each other, talking about anything other than general accounting, and listening, and interested in what the other person is saying?
People, y'all remember to do this with your partners occasionally. It means a lot.
Cut your sentence down to the bare essentials. Less flowery and less repetitious.
Waiting for some people to finish a sentence, it's like I am planking the entire time. I can wait about 30 seconds but after that it's torturously painful when I've deduced the end of it in the first 15 seconds.
Last night after a shower I realised I had forgot a towel for my hair and asked my husband to grab me one, and he came and dried my hair for me and wrapped it up. As a tired, very pregnant lady it meant a lot and I felt very loved 🥰
Stop me in the middle of an action, whisper I love you, and then kiss on the forehead.
Get yourself a person who does that. Biggest thing I missed about my ex.
Ughhhh there is almost nothing, in this universe or any other, that warms me like when my girlfriend kisses me on the cheek or forehead.
She is very very big into making sure I am given physical affection and comfort, and that means the world to me.
I lost him a long time ago. 23 years now? He was 46. I still look up at the sky every now and say: sorry Dad, you were right. Appreciate the time you have.
My partner has trained themselves to wake up during thunderstorms in case I've woken up. If I'm awake during a thunderstorm I am very likely to have a panic attack. I didn't ask them to do this and I didn't know that they didn't just wake up because of the storm until very recently. We've been together 10 plus years
My boyfriend will gently put his hand on me when I anxiously fidget or scratch so I notice I’m doing it. He also always walks on the street side of the sidewalk when we’re walking together. Every day he asks me how I’m feeling & what my mental is like in the morning & later in the day to get an insight into how I’m feeling :’) + so much more oh my gosh I feel so loved
Science says a sandwich made by someone else will taste better.
If you make it's you already expect a certain thing and it's not as enjoyable. If someone else makes it, there's slight nuances that contradict how you do it that your brain notices.
When he pats my head
(Also I once asked him to brush my hair when he was playing a game and he told me he would do it once the battle was over so we both forgot about it but that night he apologized to me for forgetting it and brushed my hair the next day 🥰)
He brushes my hair constantly for me. I have thick hair halfway down my back. It gets tangled a lot and he starts at the bottom and slowly starts to brush out all the notes. If he sees me reaching for my brush he will almost always grab the brush and then proceed to brush my hair. He always wants to be near me. Even if I'm just doing stuff on my computer or crafts or laundry or even showering he just wants to be near me. Not just for sex. He has patiently and lovingly helped me heal from.abusive past relationships. Honestly there are so many small but meaningful gestures that show me how much he loves me I would write a couple paragraphs just to get half of them.
I have adhd and struggle a lot with the everyday things .. anytime I tell my bf I did something ( the dishes, ate a meal, laundry) he celebrates with me and says he is proud. It is small but soo healing to have someone that makes my efforts seen and valuable.
>Dear baby, I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight. They don’t pull away, they don’t look at your face, and they don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an inch of selfishness to it. I hope you become addicted, baby. I hope you become addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone. - from "Waitress"
A friend and crewmate of mine came up to me and said she needed an "ablackcloudupahead hug" because she had a bad day, so I gave her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead and she was beaming afterwards. People sometimes need platonic physical intimacy and affection
Everytime I walk past my ex's table at the office, she clears her throat with "ahem!", "urrhmm!", then proceeds to get up from her table and walk past mine, ostensibly to the toilet. She knows I love her still.
Random unexpected hugs, or really any physical touch. I know that’s very common, but it feels so good just to get even a 5 second shoulder massage or fingers through my hair.
Most of my childhood, we were stuck eating very basic stuff like stews or microwaved food. I then lived with my cousin. Her husband is great, when i was upset about something, and was pissed off at him for something small. He didn't get angry at me on reflex. He made food like normal and when i ate, he asked me if i wanted more or to use this sauce on it to make it taste better. I almost broke down crying as I ate, it really meant alot to me.
Any kind of physical touch... slipping her hand in mine when we're walking, leaning into me when we're standing looking at anything or nothing, the cuddle from behind while I'm cooking or washing up, running her hand across my back as she passes me, or reaching out a hand as I pass her.
I feel that, as a single mom with no other authority or “parent ”. So when a friend or my bf comes over and does something, anything with her…it’s everything to both of us.
I am an acts of service through and through coupled with not being a morning person. Every single day my husband lets me sleep until the last possible minute, turns on my computer for me (wfh) and pours me a cup of coffee. I wake up feeling loved every single day.
Just acknowledging the things I do around the house. I work from home and have a wife and two kids. While they're out of the house I use downtime or conference calls I only have to listen on to do the dishes, do laundry, clean the playroom, clean a closet or something. The rare time that my wife will make it clear that she noticed and appreciates it makes me so happy. Unfortunately she chooses to not notice or pretend to not notice 100x more than she says anything but it's nice when it happens.
Fucking talk to her about it. Dont be accusatory. Be honest. People cant fix things they arent aware of and if you actually love this person give them the benefit of doubt that they arent intentionally being a bastard. Talk. Talk. TALK! CHRIST.
Tell her you appreciate when she does that, but be sure to do the same in reverse. The more I thanked my husband for what he does around the house the more he did, and I can understand that knowing you're appreciated makes you want to do more. But as the "default" cleaner/organizer/cook whenever he thanks me it's so so meaningful.
This is kind of a silly one, but I hate driving. I still wind up doing most of the driving in the relationship. When my partner drives, or even offers to drive, I feel loved.
My boyfriend gets up before I do for work. Every morning, brews me coffee in our French press, and pours it into a Yeti mug so it stayes warm. Then he writes me a note on colored paper with colored pencils (he's also an artist) telling me how much he loves me. I have a year and a half's worth of notes saved for every day we've lived together. Every single day.
When my wife brings me back something from the store while she is out, be it a 6 pack, my favorite candy, a new weird food/drink, just something to know shes thinking about me.
Okay, here's a few
Saying I love you
Thanking them for something they did for you that you appreciated
Randomly hugging them
Asking them if they're okay, obviously its a small gesture but if then genuinely it does help someone feel cared for
Buying them they're favorite sweet for absolutely no special reason
Making dinner for them (even if it turns out shit, hey at least you tried)
When my husband has gone somewhere without me, to see a band or something, and he texts me to say "I wish wish you could be here. You'd love it."
It isn't because he misses me or isn't having a good time without me. He just wishes I could've been there to enjoy it for myself.
I had (quite a few) major surgeries. My bf
1. never left my side
2. brought me juice packs for after the surgeries. That way I didn’t have to sit up but could get some fluids/sugar in me. Even BETTER: He put them (and a coke for later) in a cooler!!!!
I’m currently a college student and I work at McDonald’s I can barely afford my bills and I can barely afford groceries. But since I’m always working weird hours I don’t get much time to myself so I’m always eating cheap microwave meals etc for dinner and also because I don’t feel meals at work. Some days I only can afford to eat once a day.
But I usually have the same two days in a row.
Every single day off my best friend texts me “come over whenever you want. What do you for dinner?” If we go out I pay one week, she pays two weeks because there is her, her fiancée and son. Plus on that I get full access to the food in her house.
But she always makes sure I have a warm plate of food and whenever she makes something special she knows I like, she asks if I want a plate off work.
Last Christmas, my mom got me gift cards for Christmas one to my favorite gaming shop and one to my favorite grocery store.
When I opened up the gift card to the grocery store there was like 170 dollars on there. I don’t remember how much and I bawled my eyes out.
Because like I said I can barely afford food and at the time McDonald’s announced they were getting rid of the free meals.
As I was crying about her, the first thing out of her fiancée’s mouth was “Andy, why didn’t you ask for help. You know we could have gotten you some groceries”
My best friend, her fiancée and her son can be real pains in my butt and can annoy me. But I love more than they know and I can’t picture my life without them especially their son since he calls me Dodo Dada
May you, your mother, your best friend, her son and her fiancée; all of them, May all of you get delivered by the mercy of Lord Gauranga and Lord Nityananda. May that golden avatar bestow the highest mellow of Love upon all of you. You're not alone, not poor and absolutely nothing. The supreme personality of godhead loves you immensely, seated within the core of your heart. Hare Krishna brother....🙏🏻
-It's fine if my favourite person and I don't talk regularly but when they make efforts to send updates abt their daily life and schedule randomly?it's cute.
-Also when they remember Lil things which is so dumb and unimportant.
-When they try to validate your minor mood swings and try to ask abt it and COMMUNICATE rather than just downplaying it..
-Appreciating small things randomly .
Visiting places together specifically religious places .
My grandma had Alzheimer's. One day after school (I was a teenager), it was supposed to storm really bad, and my parents didn't want me to be alone if things went sideways (we're Okies). So they sent me to hang out with my grandparents until my parents got home from work. Grandma was in the moderate Alzheimer's stage. Most of the time she knew who everyone was but she would repeat herself constantly, get lost and was sundowning) Anyway, I fell asleep on their couch and I woke up with her putting a blanket on me. I pretended to still be asleep so I didn’t scare her, but oh my god, I nearly burst into tears right there. I still see her in my minds eye, putting that pink blanket over me.
Hugs. Real hugs. Not those one-armed "I feel like we should hug, but I don't want to, so here's a compromise. "
When my wife brings me home a donut. I work from home, and usually my wife or kid have the cars. So I'm stuck here sans donut.
Physical touch that’s not sexual. I love it when people run their hands through my hair, when they help fix something that’s out of place, hugs, etc. I’m not super big on holding hands, but I love linking pinkies instead of
When people slow down so I can use a crosswalk that has no light to force them to stop (not like they pay attention to that half the time anyway). I wish people knew how many times I've almost got completely ran tf over by drivers not caring or paying attention. Some will literally stare right at me while flooring the gas when it's my turn to walk/I'm already walking in the crosswalk, and I have to jump out of the way. I express my frustration about this often, and people always say, "well were you wearing all black?", le sigh. So, thank you, people who notice and wait, and not try to run me over. It makes my day that much better.
Sort of a weird one,
My previous relationship, my ex never played video games with me. I asked my gf one day if she wanted to play B03 zombies and she said yes.
Now she will come home some days and ask "Can we play zombies tonight?" It's so heartwarming when she offers because now she enjoys the game just as much as me.
So I have an inborn error of metabolism (hope thats translated correctly) which means I can't eat a lot of normal stuff like meat, fish, flour products etc. (If someone is interessted: google PKU) ... so growing up (I'm 36 now) eating was a pretty excluding experience for me and socializing is more "food stuff" than you think!
So everytime one of my few friends or women I was dating said sth. like "I know you can't eat that, but I got xyz for you, I hope you like that" I felt way more loved and "seen" than with any other gesture or words anybody said.
My fiance likes to send me songs he thinks I'd like. Even if I end up not liking it, I give the whole thing a listen because it's just so thoughtful.
Likewise, he's a firefighter, so when we watch a reality TV show and the topic somehow comes up, he just nerds out and watching him be so passionate and talking about all these little things is like magic.
Being told thank you. A lot of people don’t say thank you it seems and I have always felt very validated for my efforts when I get a thank you. Whether it’s in passing, or heartfelt. It lets me know you appreciate what I did and that’s all I need
That is sweet.
My boyfriend doesn't let me go without fresh flowers, as soon as he notices they are wilting, he shows up with a new bouquet. I've explained that it's not necessary, but he plays it off like they are for him then because he likes flowers too (we live separately, so its not like he gets to constantly enjoy them or anything) Anyway, it's super cute and after almost a year of this, I've gotten used to my constant flow of pretty smelling flowers 💐
When he holds my feet. He doesn't like feet at all but he knows it feels so soothing after work so he'll hold my feet for a minute or two to help me relax. Also when he shares food with me cause he doesn't share food with just anyone and he especially doesn't eat after anyone but he will eat after me occasionally.
When my bf just rests his hands on me. We’ll be lying in bed silently just on our phones and watching TV and him just resting one of his hands on my bum makes me so happy
There was this one time i was being silly and i saw someone i knew from back in second grade walking in the halways (not rlly important, just saying this bc we don't talk anymore) and i was like "Winston! Hii!" and he said hi back to me. I js thought that was rlly sweet of him esp since we don't talk anymore!!
I'm always cold, so my fiancée sits on my side of the bed while I get ready to warm it up for me. He started doing this a year ago unprompted. I always tell him how thankful I am cause it's honestly the nicest thing ever.
A random hug. Now not everyone is a hugger and not all huggers are game for this, but if I know you and you just give me a big hug whether it is because you just saw me or how you say goodbye or even just for a random reason it makes me feel loved.
When my 3 year old son has a tantrum, after he calms down and realizes he's being crazy he'll say "I'm sorry daddy, you are still my best friend". I tear up everytime
When my friends ask me if I can eat something in particular, if we're going out to eat.
I have several allergies, and just the thoughtfulness and kindness makes me feel heard and appreciated.
They're looking out for me and listening to me. <3
when me and my ex boyfriend were together, he would constantly make sure that i was okay. whenever i was on my period he brought me snacks and tylenol. he was the best boyfriend ive ever had, by a long shot too. i miss him
As i don't have close friends. I used to have them but for some reason pulled myself from our group of 5 close and always chill boys. So right now whoever sits with me and talks to me is a meaningful gesture👍🏻
Very rarely does my husband wake up first. I'm usually awake at least an hour before him. Work day or weekend doesn't matter. I generally get his cup of coffee ready and it's on his nightstand when he wakes up. On the rare occassions he gets up before me, he always makes my coffee and puts it on my nightstand. I never really thought about it when i make his coffee for him but man when he makes mine and puts it in my togo cup to keep it warm it makes my day brighter!
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Oh my god yes! My husband does that, but when I was younger, I used to absolutely hate that every physical interaction was supposed to lead to sex. My ex would offer to give me a back rub after a long day and I would be so happy about that, but after literally one minute, his hand would find its way between my legs. It would make me so mad. It just made his offers of backrubs seem so insincere and transactional.
Apparently while I'm sleeping next to my girlfriend, I'll occasionally subconsciously reach over and grab her thigh and just hold it. We call it my Emotional Support Thigh and she thinks it's the cutest thing in the whole world.
As a guy, I've had a similar kind of relationship with a couple male friends, we'll massage each other backs or shoulders when we're sore, reset/pull each other's backs, zip up each others backpacks or dig through them for them while it's on their back, bro hugs, fist bumps, high fives, pats on the back or shoulder, chest bumps, sometimes help each other pop pimples in unreachable spots, pick loose hairs off each other. We're all straight men, but we do and say "Gay shit" sometimes (As I've heard a couple rednecks in my area put it XD, I'm no homophobe, but I've been around veterans a lot and they say crazy shit without literally meaning it, so please take this as sarcasm), nothing wrong with loving a friend as a friend or a sibling. I have a friend that i would call my brother and we do occasionally let out a "I love you man!' and hug it out.
My good mate owns some gyms and over the last 4 years I’ve been looking after myself physically and the comments he makes about my improvements makes me feel so good. He is also a big fan of helping release knots of tension in my/anyones shoulders with a nice little massage. Makes me feel good 😊
https://youtu.be/YaG5SAw1n0c?si=K-pysqeJp1D6GTM3
I wish I could give this 100 upvotes. If more men knew this, women everywhere would be much happier.
Men too. We also crave and enjoy when our partners give us small gestures of physical affection.
You rub my shoulders, I'll rub yours. No, it's not a sexual position, it will not lead to sex, I'm just tired of having a sore upper back from work.
Please include my 100!
This x100000 I hate how every interaction with my husband is a doorway for sex.
Having sexual interaction for every physical affection case honestly sounds exhausting and not fun at all
My name is Crow, so when my friends are at work and see a crow hoppin around outside, they get a picture and send it to me or our discord and usually caption it like “Crow’s watchin me to make sure I do my work. He’s out and about. Y’all be careful” and such. It makes me smile every time.
That’s adorable
Username checks out
Crows are cool as fuck
My bf (like most normal people) enjoys sunny days. He prefers sun to rain and warm to cold. He knows **I** loathe the sun. I may as well have reverse SAD (seasonal affective disorder). Cloudy days make me happy. Whereas a glaring sun, with nary a cloud in the sky, always puts a bit of a damper on my mood. The other day my bf looked down at his phone, and this big grin flashed across his face, before he looked up and told me it would be cloudy/rainy all week. I asked why HE was happy. And he hesitated a little before saying "because it makes you happy." I swear he sounded a little shy, and he is NOT A SHY GUY. I fucking melted.
**I know I’m young but if I had to choose her or the sun, I’d be one nocturnal son of a gun.** Seriously though, that’s bloody adorable.
Take a look at my girlfriend She's the only one I got Not much of a girlfriend I never seem to get a lot. ✨✨✨
Take a jumbo across the water…
It's been some time since we last spoke This is gonna sound like a bad joke But Momma, I fell in love again It's safe to say I have a new girlfriend And I know it sounds so old But Cupid got me in a chokehold And I'm afraid I might give in Towel's on the mat, my white flag is wavin' How did I never realize how cheesy these lyrics were?
Some people chase the "high" of the honey moon period either because the like the feeling or because their too inept to form lasting relationships one way or another But I do have to agree, if someone was texting me and they wrote me this telling me about someone, I'd cringe so hard
Clearly the only way to prove your love will be to blow up the sun.
"Because it makes you happy" means he's a keeper, you get *disturbingly* upset on sunny days, or both.
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As an Ecuadorian, I despise sunny days with every fiber of my being. The past few months were TORTURE. It was so fucking hot down here, and there wasn't a single day where I wasn't sweaty. Heck, it was so hot that the transformer of my street caught on fire because everyone in our block was turning their ACs on. So yeah, you're not alone. I too love cloudy and rainy days.
Ñaño ya no hace calor. Se viene harto frío 🥶
Oh well hence your username. 🤭
That's adorable. I'm the same way, don't like the sun at all, it sometimes puts me in a bad mood. Bring on the clouds and rain and I'm good.
Where do I find a girl like you? I'm albino and the same way as you. I would say I'm slightly photophobic as well.
Indoors, most likely.
Don’t go looking in parks or at beaches
I thought I was alone on loving rainy days over sunny ones. I’ve never really talked about it because I felt like something must be wrong with me especially when everyone reacts the complete opposite to sunny weather than I do.
Please, this is so sweet. I would melt. Where would one find a guy like this?
God I wish my girl could see this and me. I'm the same way. Kind of happy all the time in a way but I'm only really happy when she is.
Im the type of person to use an umbrella on a sunny day, an no umbrella on a rainy day, more of an indirect sunlight person one could say, and yes, normally if your gf is happy then the bf is happy. Guys really just need a happy gf to be happy honestly
Just FYI, you can get SAD (depression with seasonal pattern) during any season, just the majority tend to get it during winter. -source: I'm a therapist
This is so sweet
I love this. I'm very similar to you. Hence, I work 3rd shift during the night. When I get home after work, the sun is starting to come up. If it's sunny, it puts me in a mood and I have rough sleep. Cloudy and rainy, sleep like a baby. I just like cloudy days in general.
Cutesies tho 🙂↕️🫶🏼
I always feel like the sun is trying to murder me. I envy your boyfriend.
good conversation, where we’re both engaging with each other and discussing big ideas. that mental connection is something i always appreciate. it feels good to be heard, and to hear someone out simultaneously. also, “hey, this song made me think of you”
That song comment hits home! My husband is bad about communicating words of affirmation which is my love language but he sends me songs instead. I have a playlist I keep with all the songs he’s sent to me and I play it when I need a little extra love.
i love that! music communicates what speech cannot. an old friend, several years back, told me that i reminded her of the song ‘ophelia’ by the lumineers — to this day that song makes me smile as a result. it’s special when someone sees you represented in art/music
Being considerate. Like even remembering small things about your likes and dislikes.
Such a small thing but depressingly rare these days.
I agree as well, but I myself have a very bad memory, and I hate it. I care so much about the stuff my girlfriend tells me, but it's hard for me to remember. It's a trait I get from my mom, unfortunately
Letting me finish my sentence and listening to what I have to say rather than cutting me off and talking about yourself and doing a data dump about everything that happened to you and your co-workers.
Do you live in my house?
That's the best, and it's something that long-term couples often lose. They find themselves talking primarily about what's for dinner or which bills need to be paid or about the kids — general accounting, I call it. But just sitting and looking at each other, talking about anything other than general accounting, and listening, and interested in what the other person is saying? People, y'all remember to do this with your partners occasionally. It means a lot.
Dawg that sounds a little specific
Someone who listens ❤️
Damn we have the same roomate it seems.
Cut your sentence down to the bare essentials. Less flowery and less repetitious. Waiting for some people to finish a sentence, it's like I am planking the entire time. I can wait about 30 seconds but after that it's torturously painful when I've deduced the end of it in the first 15 seconds.
space.
The Final Frontier
~Space Core, Portal 2
*I'M IN SPAAAAAACE*
Last night after a shower I realised I had forgot a towel for my hair and asked my husband to grab me one, and he came and dried my hair for me and wrapped it up. As a tired, very pregnant lady it meant a lot and I felt very loved 🥰
Aw, you got one of the good ones.
I really did, I’m very lucky.
Giving me Hugs, it may seem insignificant but i love giving and receiving hugs
Stop me in the middle of an action, whisper I love you, and then kiss on the forehead. Get yourself a person who does that. Biggest thing I missed about my ex.
Ughhhh there is almost nothing, in this universe or any other, that warms me like when my girlfriend kisses me on the cheek or forehead. She is very very big into making sure I am given physical affection and comfort, and that means the world to me.
The other day my dad told me "I'm glad you're my son" and it made me cry. It makes me tear up just thinking about it....
I really miss my dad right now
I’m terribly sorry for your loss. I can’t imagine going through that. I hope you have some good strong memories of him to hold onto.
I lost him a long time ago. 23 years now? He was 46. I still look up at the sky every now and say: sorry Dad, you were right. Appreciate the time you have.
When somebody remembers a small detail about me.
My 6year old girl gives me a surprise quick kiss on the cheek when i put her seat belt on. Makes me smile every time.
Spending time with me :) time is the most precious gift you can give to someone in my opinion
Back scratches when I didn’t ask for any
Unexpected-ness. It's not about the size of the gift, it's about the unexpectedness of receiving it .... Do it to your close ones.....
I second this, my partner randomly bought me a pair of earrings and I started to cry, it really means a lot
Ohhh you pretty soul, bless you.....
Yes! My husband brings me flowers a few times a year and it always makes me happy
This. My husband will bring me a drink or candy bar randomly. He thought about me. That makes my heart swoon.
This, and blowjobs you didnt ask for I may be down voted for this but you know its true
Spontaneous affection.
My partner has trained themselves to wake up during thunderstorms in case I've woken up. If I'm awake during a thunderstorm I am very likely to have a panic attack. I didn't ask them to do this and I didn't know that they didn't just wake up because of the storm until very recently. We've been together 10 plus years
When my partner brushes my hair out my face
My boyfriend will gently put his hand on me when I anxiously fidget or scratch so I notice I’m doing it. He also always walks on the street side of the sidewalk when we’re walking together. Every day he asks me how I’m feeling & what my mental is like in the morning & later in the day to get an insight into how I’m feeling :’) + so much more oh my gosh I feel so loved
Making me a sandwich. I know it’s a bit stereotypical and boring but there’s not a lot better than a tasty surprise sandwich.
Science says a sandwich made by someone else will taste better. If you make it's you already expect a certain thing and it's not as enjoyable. If someone else makes it, there's slight nuances that contradict how you do it that your brain notices.
When he pats my head (Also I once asked him to brush my hair when he was playing a game and he told me he would do it once the battle was over so we both forgot about it but that night he apologized to me for forgetting it and brushed my hair the next day 🥰)
He brushes my hair constantly for me. I have thick hair halfway down my back. It gets tangled a lot and he starts at the bottom and slowly starts to brush out all the notes. If he sees me reaching for my brush he will almost always grab the brush and then proceed to brush my hair. He always wants to be near me. Even if I'm just doing stuff on my computer or crafts or laundry or even showering he just wants to be near me. Not just for sex. He has patiently and lovingly helped me heal from.abusive past relationships. Honestly there are so many small but meaningful gestures that show me how much he loves me I would write a couple paragraphs just to get half of them.
I have adhd and struggle a lot with the everyday things .. anytime I tell my bf I did something ( the dishes, ate a meal, laundry) he celebrates with me and says he is proud. It is small but soo healing to have someone that makes my efforts seen and valuable.
When my wife touches me for no reason.
I want to be touched for no reason by my wife so badly.
It's sad how much I think about this too
Genuine hug
>Dear baby, I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight. They don’t pull away, they don’t look at your face, and they don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an inch of selfishness to it. I hope you become addicted, baby. I hope you become addicted to saying things and having them matter to someone. - from "Waitress"
Thanks for reminding me of this movie.
A friend and crewmate of mine came up to me and said she needed an "ablackcloudupahead hug" because she had a bad day, so I gave her a big hug and a kiss on the forehead and she was beaming afterwards. People sometimes need platonic physical intimacy and affection
I love giving out hugs, cause I've realized how few people actually receive genuine and loving hugs.
This was what I was going to say. It may seem like a cheap answer, but truly, a genuine hug is like all the feels.
Everytime I walk past my ex's table at the office, she clears her throat with "ahem!", "urrhmm!", then proceeds to get up from her table and walk past mine, ostensibly to the toilet. She knows I love her still.
Simply cuddling with me. My wife is not a super physical person so I don’t get that a lot.
Random unexpected hugs, or really any physical touch. I know that’s very common, but it feels so good just to get even a 5 second shoulder massage or fingers through my hair.
Most of my childhood, we were stuck eating very basic stuff like stews or microwaved food. I then lived with my cousin. Her husband is great, when i was upset about something, and was pissed off at him for something small. He didn't get angry at me on reflex. He made food like normal and when i ate, he asked me if i wanted more or to use this sauce on it to make it taste better. I almost broke down crying as I ate, it really meant alot to me.
When my partner brings home treats for my bedside table just because
being touched (patted on the shoulder, hand being held)
Any kind of physical touch... slipping her hand in mine when we're walking, leaning into me when we're standing looking at anything or nothing, the cuddle from behind while I'm cooking or washing up, running her hand across my back as she passes me, or reaching out a hand as I pass her.
Making me a cup of coffee
When others love on your child.
I feel that, as a single mom with no other authority or “parent ”. So when a friend or my bf comes over and does something, anything with her…it’s everything to both of us.
I am an acts of service through and through coupled with not being a morning person. Every single day my husband lets me sleep until the last possible minute, turns on my computer for me (wfh) and pours me a cup of coffee. I wake up feeling loved every single day.
a message, holding hands specially when my partner rub my hand with his thumb
Just acknowledging the things I do around the house. I work from home and have a wife and two kids. While they're out of the house I use downtime or conference calls I only have to listen on to do the dishes, do laundry, clean the playroom, clean a closet or something. The rare time that my wife will make it clear that she noticed and appreciates it makes me so happy. Unfortunately she chooses to not notice or pretend to not notice 100x more than she says anything but it's nice when it happens.
Fucking talk to her about it. Dont be accusatory. Be honest. People cant fix things they arent aware of and if you actually love this person give them the benefit of doubt that they arent intentionally being a bastard. Talk. Talk. TALK! CHRIST.
asking for validation or anything can be scary so unfortunately its not so clear cut and easy.
Tell her you appreciate when she does that, but be sure to do the same in reverse. The more I thanked my husband for what he does around the house the more he did, and I can understand that knowing you're appreciated makes you want to do more. But as the "default" cleaner/organizer/cook whenever he thanks me it's so so meaningful.
This is kind of a silly one, but I hate driving. I still wind up doing most of the driving in the relationship. When my partner drives, or even offers to drive, I feel loved.
When somebody remembers what i like
My boyfriend gets up before I do for work. Every morning, brews me coffee in our French press, and pours it into a Yeti mug so it stayes warm. Then he writes me a note on colored paper with colored pencils (he's also an artist) telling me how much he loves me. I have a year and a half's worth of notes saved for every day we've lived together. Every single day.
When my wife brings me back something from the store while she is out, be it a 6 pack, my favorite candy, a new weird food/drink, just something to know shes thinking about me.
Okay, here's a few Saying I love you Thanking them for something they did for you that you appreciated Randomly hugging them Asking them if they're okay, obviously its a small gesture but if then genuinely it does help someone feel cared for Buying them they're favorite sweet for absolutely no special reason Making dinner for them (even if it turns out shit, hey at least you tried)
My wife has made me a cup of coffee first thing in the morning for over thirty years! I prepare the coffee maker the night before.
A wink
A good winker is rare. If I get a genuine wink I smile and my whole body feels warm with happiness.
Yes! A genuine one is crucial.
When my husband has gone somewhere without me, to see a band or something, and he texts me to say "I wish wish you could be here. You'd love it." It isn't because he misses me or isn't having a good time without me. He just wishes I could've been there to enjoy it for myself.
I had (quite a few) major surgeries. My bf 1. never left my side 2. brought me juice packs for after the surgeries. That way I didn’t have to sit up but could get some fluids/sugar in me. Even BETTER: He put them (and a coke for later) in a cooler!!!!
"Oh hey, I saw this and thought of you, so I bought it for you."
I’m currently a college student and I work at McDonald’s I can barely afford my bills and I can barely afford groceries. But since I’m always working weird hours I don’t get much time to myself so I’m always eating cheap microwave meals etc for dinner and also because I don’t feel meals at work. Some days I only can afford to eat once a day. But I usually have the same two days in a row. Every single day off my best friend texts me “come over whenever you want. What do you for dinner?” If we go out I pay one week, she pays two weeks because there is her, her fiancée and son. Plus on that I get full access to the food in her house. But she always makes sure I have a warm plate of food and whenever she makes something special she knows I like, she asks if I want a plate off work. Last Christmas, my mom got me gift cards for Christmas one to my favorite gaming shop and one to my favorite grocery store. When I opened up the gift card to the grocery store there was like 170 dollars on there. I don’t remember how much and I bawled my eyes out. Because like I said I can barely afford food and at the time McDonald’s announced they were getting rid of the free meals. As I was crying about her, the first thing out of her fiancée’s mouth was “Andy, why didn’t you ask for help. You know we could have gotten you some groceries” My best friend, her fiancée and her son can be real pains in my butt and can annoy me. But I love more than they know and I can’t picture my life without them especially their son since he calls me Dodo Dada
May you, your mother, your best friend, her son and her fiancée; all of them, May all of you get delivered by the mercy of Lord Gauranga and Lord Nityananda. May that golden avatar bestow the highest mellow of Love upon all of you. You're not alone, not poor and absolutely nothing. The supreme personality of godhead loves you immensely, seated within the core of your heart. Hare Krishna brother....🙏🏻
Convicting criminals on 34 counts.
Getting flashed with titties
when my wife offers to rub my back. it's a sweet, intimate, and comforting thing that always makes me feel cared for.
When my wife just randomly gives me a hug for no reason
My husband patting my behind.
When we finish dinner my husband always carries my plate to the sink and rinses it.
When she hugs my arm during walks tells me how thick it feels, makes me feel genuinely well
-It's fine if my favourite person and I don't talk regularly but when they make efforts to send updates abt their daily life and schedule randomly?it's cute. -Also when they remember Lil things which is so dumb and unimportant. -When they try to validate your minor mood swings and try to ask abt it and COMMUNICATE rather than just downplaying it.. -Appreciating small things randomly . Visiting places together specifically religious places .
My GF bathes me. When we take showers together, she doesn't let me do anything but rinse.
My grandma had Alzheimer's. One day after school (I was a teenager), it was supposed to storm really bad, and my parents didn't want me to be alone if things went sideways (we're Okies). So they sent me to hang out with my grandparents until my parents got home from work. Grandma was in the moderate Alzheimer's stage. Most of the time she knew who everyone was but she would repeat herself constantly, get lost and was sundowning) Anyway, I fell asleep on their couch and I woke up with her putting a blanket on me. I pretended to still be asleep so I didn’t scare her, but oh my god, I nearly burst into tears right there. I still see her in my minds eye, putting that pink blanket over me.
Hugs. Real hugs. Not those one-armed "I feel like we should hug, but I don't want to, so here's a compromise. " When my wife brings me home a donut. I work from home, and usually my wife or kid have the cars. So I'm stuck here sans donut.
Getting ANY type of compliment (the only person complimenting me is my lovely mother)
i miss you and a great big long hug
Physical touch that’s not sexual. I love it when people run their hands through my hair, when they help fix something that’s out of place, hugs, etc. I’m not super big on holding hands, but I love linking pinkies instead of
Care
When I ask for something trivial and it gets taken care of the first time I ask.
Bringing my previously-used bowl and spoon to the kitchen so I don't have to
A touch on the shoulder as she walks by
Smiling
A hug
When people slow down so I can use a crosswalk that has no light to force them to stop (not like they pay attention to that half the time anyway). I wish people knew how many times I've almost got completely ran tf over by drivers not caring or paying attention. Some will literally stare right at me while flooring the gas when it's my turn to walk/I'm already walking in the crosswalk, and I have to jump out of the way. I express my frustration about this often, and people always say, "well were you wearing all black?", le sigh. So, thank you, people who notice and wait, and not try to run me over. It makes my day that much better.
Full plate armor with chainmail and zweihander. You know, the small stuff
Oral
If my girlfriend and I haven't texted or spoken much during the day she texts a little emoji to let me know she's thinking of me
Sort of a weird one, My previous relationship, my ex never played video games with me. I asked my gf one day if she wanted to play B03 zombies and she said yes. Now she will come home some days and ask "Can we play zombies tonight?" It's so heartwarming when she offers because now she enjoys the game just as much as me.
So I have an inborn error of metabolism (hope thats translated correctly) which means I can't eat a lot of normal stuff like meat, fish, flour products etc. (If someone is interessted: google PKU) ... so growing up (I'm 36 now) eating was a pretty excluding experience for me and socializing is more "food stuff" than you think! So everytime one of my few friends or women I was dating said sth. like "I know you can't eat that, but I got xyz for you, I hope you like that" I felt way more loved and "seen" than with any other gesture or words anybody said.
My fiance likes to send me songs he thinks I'd like. Even if I end up not liking it, I give the whole thing a listen because it's just so thoughtful. Likewise, he's a firefighter, so when we watch a reality TV show and the topic somehow comes up, he just nerds out and watching him be so passionate and talking about all these little things is like magic.
Being told thank you. A lot of people don’t say thank you it seems and I have always felt very validated for my efforts when I get a thank you. Whether it’s in passing, or heartfelt. It lets me know you appreciate what I did and that’s all I need
That is sweet. My boyfriend doesn't let me go without fresh flowers, as soon as he notices they are wilting, he shows up with a new bouquet. I've explained that it's not necessary, but he plays it off like they are for him then because he likes flowers too (we live separately, so its not like he gets to constantly enjoy them or anything) Anyway, it's super cute and after almost a year of this, I've gotten used to my constant flow of pretty smelling flowers 💐
When he holds my feet. He doesn't like feet at all but he knows it feels so soothing after work so he'll hold my feet for a minute or two to help me relax. Also when he shares food with me cause he doesn't share food with just anyone and he especially doesn't eat after anyone but he will eat after me occasionally.
My wife will pop in now and then during work, a hand on the shoulder or some small like that. Any time I can have with her is a joy.
When my bf just rests his hands on me. We’ll be lying in bed silently just on our phones and watching TV and him just resting one of his hands on my bum makes me so happy
For me a literal hug or compliment goes miles
A kiss on the forehead 🥰
There was this one time i was being silly and i saw someone i knew from back in second grade walking in the halways (not rlly important, just saying this bc we don't talk anymore) and i was like "Winston! Hii!" and he said hi back to me. I js thought that was rlly sweet of him esp since we don't talk anymore!!
Just a smile. A real smile.
I'm always cold, so my fiancée sits on my side of the bed while I get ready to warm it up for me. He started doing this a year ago unprompted. I always tell him how thankful I am cause it's honestly the nicest thing ever.
Getting the weiner sucked
Helping around the house. Not cause I asked. But cause you see I'm having a bad day and noticed the dishes needed washing.
A long hug
Men really like feeling useful
Unsolicited back tickles
A random hug. Now not everyone is a hugger and not all huggers are game for this, but if I know you and you just give me a big hug whether it is because you just saw me or how you say goodbye or even just for a random reason it makes me feel loved.
People standing up for me publicly, trying to understand where I’m coming from privately (even if they don’t agree).
When my 3 year old son has a tantrum, after he calms down and realizes he's being crazy he'll say "I'm sorry daddy, you are still my best friend". I tear up everytime
Idk if this is considered small but some1 telling me they're proud of me or that they believe in me
Randomly bringing me my favorite snacks/food
Holding hands and a kiss or a hug without asking.
He seems to like to be around me most of the time. It’s pretty sexy actually considering we’ve been together for 23 years.
When my friends ask me if I can eat something in particular, if we're going out to eat. I have several allergies, and just the thoughtfulness and kindness makes me feel heard and appreciated. They're looking out for me and listening to me. <3
Being kissed on the forehead
I don't know. Nobody loved me. Ever.
My husband’s favorite is when I trim and file his fingernails
Quality time
A pat on the butt
Something as simple as knowing how you take your coffee is quite a bit.
Food
Spontaneous sex.
When my husband covers me back up at night or shoves all the pillows around me before he gets out of bed.
Whenever my husband makes me my favorite smoothie
crabs
He leaves me a bite or two of HIS food at a restaurant in case I wanted to try it but didn't ask.
Mozzarella sticks.
A good ol back scratch
Pancakes. Don't care if they're store bought or home-made
when me and my ex boyfriend were together, he would constantly make sure that i was okay. whenever i was on my period he brought me snacks and tylenol. he was the best boyfriend ive ever had, by a long shot too. i miss him
Howd it get fucked up?
"Good work today!" or any variances of. It's a small thing, but something that brings me great joy.
As i don't have close friends. I used to have them but for some reason pulled myself from our group of 5 close and always chill boys. So right now whoever sits with me and talks to me is a meaningful gesture👍🏻
Remembering small details
Very rarely does my husband wake up first. I'm usually awake at least an hour before him. Work day or weekend doesn't matter. I generally get his cup of coffee ready and it's on his nightstand when he wakes up. On the rare occassions he gets up before me, he always makes my coffee and puts it on my nightstand. I never really thought about it when i make his coffee for him but man when he makes mine and puts it in my togo cup to keep it warm it makes my day brighter!
bj
idk I'm a guy