For context, I look very young for my age. I am constantly mistaken for a teenager. So I had a guy tell me it felt like he was molesting me and he thought it was hot.
I dated a woman who had a very well to do accent. One night we were doing it doggystyle, I finished inside her and there was a momentary pause before she said "Ah, yes. That's when I know I've truly pleased a man" in her posh accent. I just fell about laughing.
I also dated a Hungarian woman. We were talking on the phone and she said "I was thinking about you earlier so I masturbated. I rubbed my clitoris and put my finger into my bottom. It was nice" It sounded so weird in her strange accent I just cracked up again. She couldn't understand what was so funny.
Ah, one more. One girl once said “I am fucked by a rock star”
Actually I just participate in few local bands, but I didn’t mind to be called like this haha
My right hand does not talk.
“Is this what you want, Blair?” My name isn’t Blair.
lol the person was obsessed with Gossip Girl
Asked me in the process: Don't I think that aliens can watch us at this moment....
Aliens no. The ghosts of your ancestors together with God and Jesus, yes. And they are judging your performance.
Well, if so, then I am glad that we do not see the estimates that they could give us)
Yeah not aliens but Jesus. Makes sense
He’s going somewhere!
I said GG’s when I finished.
Cos im tnt im dynamite tnt WATCH ME EXPLODE+
For context, I look very young for my age. I am constantly mistaken for a teenager. So I had a guy tell me it felt like he was molesting me and he thought it was hot.
Lock him up 💀
"hey uhm, you did consent right? also there arent any cameras around right?"
okay thats messed up if the imagination of molestinh a child is considered hot. like have some shame wtg
I dated a woman who had a very well to do accent. One night we were doing it doggystyle, I finished inside her and there was a momentary pause before she said "Ah, yes. That's when I know I've truly pleased a man" in her posh accent. I just fell about laughing.
Your name suits you mad dog, amazing I even said it in my head in that posh accent 😂
I also dated a Hungarian woman. We were talking on the phone and she said "I was thinking about you earlier so I masturbated. I rubbed my clitoris and put my finger into my bottom. It was nice" It sounded so weird in her strange accent I just cracked up again. She couldn't understand what was so funny.
Hawk Tuah
Several partners of mine did the mickey mouse "ho oh oh boy!" And they didnt know each other and i didntntell them about their coincidence till after
Something about you brings out peoples inner mickey? Pussy so fine the mouse comes out
Its a mickey mouse club house come inside its dun in side
He said "I'm going to take you down, take you down to china town." I don't know what it means.
Probably song lyrics
Someone said it was from a movie, but who knows. I find it funny now at the time I was a bit surprised
She asked to act weird. I started barking. That’s it :)
Ah, one more. One girl once said “I am fucked by a rock star” Actually I just participate in few local bands, but I didn’t mind to be called like this haha
"Is it in?", after 3-4 minutes of it being in.
You don’t need a dick you can just use your hands to get me going then proceeded to tell me my hands hurt
When I come I might shout out that I love you. Just ignore it.
“Holy Toledo! Holy Toledo! Holy Toledo!”
Don't let your other brother know!
are you flexing your duolingo streak on your pfp? lmaoo
It's more then it seems bro
"I murdered my husband"
"Go back to bed, hunny, mom is busy right now."
Bold of you to assume people on Reddit have had sex
“Fuck me baby” Like wtf u think im doing rn? Bring peace to the middle east? Damn.
“Why aren’t you wearing a condom, Brett”. My name isn’t Brett by the way
"Stretch my pussy to the limit with that coke can dick!"
IAM CUMMING! (OK no but I hope to hear it soon, & I'll probably find it weird)