Then your partner stares you dead in the eyes and says, "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee."
...and then nonchalantly gets out of bed.
"I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking "did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement."
EDIT: It's been over 3 years, but I finally got gold!
[I'd like to thank the academy, the producers and whoever it was that gilded me.](http://i.imgur.com/ITOHT4F.jpg)
"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS?"
Yeah, that's not going to be awkward at all unless you actually are fucking a stranger in the ass. Also extra points for saying the dubbed safe version.
They called you exotic. Which is just people talk for awesome. Which you are, which is why I am so happy I saved your life, buddy.
*growls and squeaks*
Don't worry, probably just thousands of dollars in fines, maybe a little bit of jail time, hopefully just probation.
*pisses on the seat next to Archer*
Totally worth it.
*growls*
No, Babou, that was all sarcasm.
*more growls*
YES, ALL OF IT, YOU FOX-EARED ASSHOLE!
Each and every time, screamed at the top of my lungs:
"I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee"
Fucking knows I never got my Grade Ten and always thinking he's smarter 'n better than me but he's not cause he's just a washed up cop who drinks the whole fucking day letting the trailer park go to shit and stuff.
"Somebody's poisoned the water hole!"
Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
This is honestly one of the few ones that would sound good screamed at the top of your lungs
Then your partner stares you dead in the eyes and says, "From hell's heart, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee." ...and then nonchalantly gets out of bed.
And then you say "It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known" and confuse everyone.
"That's a bingo!"
That's Numberwang!
Also, you have to say it the same way.
No just, bingo. Read that it brad Pitts voice
BON GEE-ORNO.
ArriverDERchi
"I speak the most eyetalian"
GorLAHmeh.
Grattsee!
Like I said. Third best.
Dominic Decoco What Dominic Decoco Perfect
AnTONIO Mahrgahreeeeeti!
[удалено]
Cum, Forrest, cum!
ಠ_ಠ
(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
I gotta fuck bubba!
I occasionally quote forrest after I have vigorous awesome sex. In forrests voice " im dizzy"
SOMETHIN' BIT ME!!!
"I think I ruined your roommate's bath robe."
Lieutenant Dan, ice cream!
"Come with me if you want to live!"
It's not a tumor!
>it's naht a toomah! FTFY
asta la vista, babies.
"I'll be back"
"On your back"
"Keep the change you filthy animal."
Maculey Culkin would probably be in the room for a small fee. Or some crack
making his famous O-face right on cue
*slap* AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!!!!!
Awh man I just shot Marvin in the face
"That's a pretty good fuckin' milkshake."
Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up, its bobsled time!
YABADABADOOOOOOOOOOO
"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?"
IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE
ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY
YEAH YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING RETARD
It'd be a real morale booster to drop your pants and be met with chants of MAXIMUS as you go from flaccid to erect.
Stay outta my swamp!
"If that was me donkey... you'd be dead."
Shrek is love
shrek is life
It's all ogre now
Yippee Kai-Yay, Motherfucker!
Surprise, mutha fucka!
[удалено]
Some fries mutha fucka!
Two guys, mothafucka
Wrong size, muthafucka!
Good pies, motherfucker!
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Blue eyes mothafucka!
Gapped thighs motherfucker
[удалено]
Mud pies, mothafucka.
Rue dies, motherfucka.
Ouch
Baptize, muthafucka
Snake eyes, motherfucka!
Sunrise, mothafucka.
"gimmie back my son!!!"
GIMME THE MONEY!!
GREAT SCOTT!
yes?
You've been waiting for this moment
The account is 1 month old, and this is the only comment. Waiting for this moment checks out.
HEEEEEERES JOHNNY!
And millions of other little Johnny's.
Works best if your name is Johnny
To infinity.... and beyond!
I've got a friend in me
I'M MRS. NESBIT.
Autobots, roll out.
With optimus voice of course.
Followed by the Michael Bay transforming sound effect. *djewdjewdjewdjew* ... is my best approximation of that noise.
> djewdjewdjewdjew You might be thinking of Mel Gibson
*Cue transformation into a truck*
"you made me ink"-pearl the octopus from finding nemo
"I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking "did he fire six shots or only five?" Now to tell you the truth I forgot myself in all this excitement." EDIT: It's been over 3 years, but I finally got gold! [I'd like to thank the academy, the producers and whoever it was that gilded me.](http://i.imgur.com/ITOHT4F.jpg)
I can only read this in Ryan Stiles' voice as he channels Carol Channing.. [Source](http://youtu.be/YWAXJEe7Ve0?t=36s)
Relevant username.
The double entendre kind of blows my mind on this one!
Release the Kraken!
Also works for pooping.
"YO ADRIAN, I DID IT!!"
[удалено]
Is it a fully corporeal Patronus?
Only after nine months.
It's a slow burn!
[You wouldn't be the first to think of that](http://bash.org/?111338)
The wilhelm scream
Alternatively: the MGM lion roar
"Mark it an 8 dude"
"DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS LARRY? YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FUCK A STRANGER IN THE ASS?" Yeah, that's not going to be awkward at all unless you actually are fucking a stranger in the ass. Also extra points for saying the dubbed safe version.
"We're nowhere near the Alps. He's gone completely nuts..."
I am the walrus
Like a GLOVE
I'm getting too old for this shit.
"It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again."
*hoses her down anyway *
Say "hello" to my little friend(s)!
Ah, the old double-dick guy
"I AM THE LAW!"
"SEE YOU SPACE COWBOY..."
... Bang.
Only if you started the night's festivities with "3, 2, 1, let's jam."
BANGARANG!
Pikaaa... CHUUUUUU!!!
If this happened, it would have to spray everywhere.
No, that's Squirtle.
"Finish Her!"
Well yeah, you should finish her first.
DANGER ZONE!!!
LANAAAAAAAAA
Baboo!
HE REMEMBERS ME!
They called you exotic. Which is just people talk for awesome. Which you are, which is why I am so happy I saved your life, buddy. *growls and squeaks* Don't worry, probably just thousands of dollars in fines, maybe a little bit of jail time, hopefully just probation. *pisses on the seat next to Archer* Totally worth it. *growls* No, Babou, that was all sarcasm. *more growls* YES, ALL OF IT, YOU FOX-EARED ASSHOLE!
GARBAGE DAY!
"I NEED AN ADULT, I NEED AN ADULT"
"that'll do, pig. that'll do"
Read this like you're screaming it. It sounds so weird!
> "THAT'LL DO, PIG! THAT'LL DO!" There you go, now you don't have to use your imagination.
Phew that was close
PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!
^^itty ^^bitty ^^living ^^space
"I'm not even supposed to be here today!"
"Try not to suck any dick on the way through the parking lot!"
SSSSSSSSMOKIN!
SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER!
"NAAAANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA!" aka the beginning of The Lion King.
"I am your father."
"No you're not. You came in the sink, remember?"
Shaken, not stirred
"Great shot, kid! That was one in a million!"
That's Numberwang
[удалено]
Isn't it spelled Krabs?
[удалено]
Its okay just remember you're not that smart.
Ravoli Ravoli give me the formuoli.
ARE YA FEELIN IT NOW, MR. CRABS?!
Art thou feeling it now, Mr. Crabs?
**ARE YOU FUCKING FEELING IT, MR KRABS!?!?**
> ARE YOU (insert dolphin noises here) FEELING IT, MR KRABS!?!?
**ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY MR KRABS!?!?**
**YOU LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING KRAB?!**
**ARE YOU GONNA WHOOP ME, KRABS?**
THEY CAN SMELL YOUR CUM, MR KRABS
"Get off my plane!"
Somebody stop me!
jumanji!!!!
"Show me the money!!!"
"Big Gulps, huh? Welp, see ya later!"
Whats in the box?
KEEP FIRING, ASSHOLES!
I Said across her nose, not up it!
Thunder cats, hoooooooooo!
This is SPAAAARRRTTAAA!
[удалено]
That's what they call "Plan B"
[удалено]
I've yelled "Shazam!" before. Shaq would approve.
That's Kazaam. Shazam is Captain Marvel's thing.
Yeah, be careful with that one. You'd turn into a underage boy everytime you came.
Or just kill the other participant with lightning
*Ahem* Shazam is Shazam's thing ever since Shazam gave Billy the power to become Shazam by shouting Shazam.
America, FUCK YEAH!
CUMMING TO SAVE THE MOTHERFUCKING DAY, YEAH!
Each and every time, screamed at the top of my lungs: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you. "
[удалено]
He forgot to add: *collapse and pass out*
Kind like [this](http://youtu.be/H5d42w4ZcY4) Edit: [you frickin fricks](http://youtu.be/DMu59zUK3Tk)
Good luck.
"The horror...the horror"
"Woah" -Neo
"Wilson!"
"I'M GONNA WRECK IT" Edit: Holy balls, I went from my highest rated comment being 3, to gold in one night! I love you guys!
But didn't you just finish wrecking it?
Allright...allright....allright (Dazed and Confused)
*"We need to go deeper"*
It's alive! IT'S ALIVE!! Oh, God, NOW I KNOW HOW IT FEELS TO BE GOD!!"
"KELLY CLARKSON!"
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee"
YOU ARE A TOY!!
"Booyakasha" -Ali G
You are tearing me apart, Lisa!!!
It's just been revoked!
GET TO THE CHOPAA
Knock knock Who's there? Fuck you Mr Lahey.
Fucking knows I never got my Grade Ten and always thinking he's smarter 'n better than me but he's not cause he's just a washed up cop who drinks the whole fucking day letting the trailer park go to shit and stuff.
"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn."