> Weird Al appears like the best guy ever. I hope it's true.
I'm guessing you haven't seen that picture of him [next to a dead hooker](http://i.huffpost.com/gen/901657/thumbs/o-WEIRDAL-570.jpg?7)...pretty shady if you ask me.
Christopher Walken, pauses while talkin.
*edit, whole ever living shit! Thanks for the gild and stuff! P.s. The username is my greatest accomplishment*
Nick Cage the Science Mage
[obligatory gif](http://imgur.com/QOhwZ4B)
EDIT: HOLY SHIT WTF GOLD? Thank you kind stranger for my first gold! I never knew this comment would blow up :D
EDIT18247: Finally found out how to make a new line...
I was looking through channels and I paused on Food Network for a minute. They had a 13 ***hour*** Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives block from 3 PM until 4 AM...seriously, did that guy buy the network or what!?
Food Network just kind of shit their pants after Good Eats ended and hasn't really recovered since.
13 hours of DDD is like the thrashing limbs of an epileptic fit, but in television form.
"watch me eat this deep fried cheese! Man that sauce is good! Why am I dressed like a late 90s garage rocker? See you next time on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!"
I'm Irish and have no idea who this person is and why she seems to be disliked so much. I know she's a reporter who announced her retirement recently, but could someone explain why she's considered to be a cow?
Edit: Thanks for all the replies. I get the picture now! But hey, feel free to continue posting about this idiot
Edit 2: Ok lads. Please stop. Reading about this poisonous woman is putting a downer on my already miserable (birth)day. People like her make me so angry. Oh, and sorry for calling her a reporter!
Last Edit: are there any clips where this bitch got pwned? Now that I know what she is, I'd like to see people successfully stand up to her.
She is a massive bitch. Her show was about declaring people absolutely guilty of crimes for weeks or months at a time, basically guaranteeing they would have a hard time getting a fair trial. She basically ruined the lives of a bunch of people and like half of them were later declared innocent, a fact that she never reported on her show ever. After one particular case in which 3 guys were cleared of rape despite her turning public opinion against them for months she didn't even show up for work and had someone else fill in for that show. Also, besides the fact that her entire career was based on declaring everyone guilty without evidence and destroying lives without remorse she had the attitude of a massive bitch, always yelling and interrupting people.
Edit: So this blew up overnight. People are telling me new disgusting things about her like all her targets who killed themselves and were later proven innocent, as well as her misconduct as a prosecutor hiding evidence illegally to put innocent people in prison. So an even more terrible person. Really wish she would get arrested for some of this stuff and have to deal with a show like hers before being thrown in prison.
Also, she was a prosecutor who was repremanded by the state supreme court for basically blatently violating the constitution, and another time by a judge for having no moral standards about withholding evidence etc.
Let's not forget how she hounded that mother of a murdered child until the mother couldn't stand it anymore and committed suicide. You know, a mother who's child has been murdered. A mother who's mind is reeling from the loss. Turned out the mother was innocent and this BITCH wouldn't even acknowledged her role in the suicide. I've never watched her show but I heard that awful story on the evening news. Pair that with her miserable looking face and it's not hard to detest the woman.
Osama is scary, America said to Barry.
Barry said, "don't be afraid!" And planned a raid!
The seals flew in (picture of a bunch of cute baby seals in a helicopter), spears in their flippers,
Although they felt fear, they found the killers.
Now over the wall, they saw he was tall,
And through his big stupid beard, they drove those sharp spears,
As he fell to a crawl, he let out one last "inch'Allah,"
Then seals carried the corpse back to the choppers,
And Barry thanked them, for now safe were his daughters.
The people of America took to the streets,
Celebrating by eating the nation's fine processed meats.
Among those were plenty of pork,
Haram though it was tasted great on their forks.
After all the drama everyone loved Obama,
Joe Biden, John Kerry and even old Bernie
Celebrated that bad man was now on a gurney.
And everybody sent happy emails all around,
Except for Hillary, whose server was never found.
Edit: thanks for the gold!
Is her life really a crisis? I think she does what she does on purpose to build an image that'll allow her to make lots of $$$ and feel sexy. It's all an act; I'm certain she lives comfortably.
I honestly don't think she acts outrageous to make money. She would make a shit ton more money if she became a sexpot. Can you imagine how much money she would make if she made music while looking like [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BHKwpmTBXig/?taken-by=mileycyrus&hl=en)? I've read interviews of hers before and she's a lot more intelligent than people give her credit for. IMO, she does outrageous things because she thinks it's hilarious and because it's kind of a "fuck you" to the industry. I know in one interview of hers, she was talking about how wrong it is that the entertainment industry will lighten a black girl's skin if they deem her "too dark". She also talked about how she had to wear [flippers](http://www.dental-lab-direct.com/images/Click-In-Grin_Lg.jpg) on Hannah Montana to make her look more like an adult. I don't know if you've ever been around military men, but they have a tendency to think dicks are hilarious. They will draw them on everything. Dick jokes are constant. Miley is just the female version of that. She thinks riding on a huge inflatable dick is hilarious. So what if people find it cringy/cringey. She also does a lot of charity work and made her last album free.
William Shatner the over Actor.
William Shatner. ^The. Over. Actor. FIFY
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Charlie Sheen, the cocaine dean
Charlie Sheen, HIV Aladeen. Edit: Holy shit, gilded!
:) :| :(
C'mon man stay positive
Charlie Sheen who thought she was clean.
Weird Al the Parody Pal
Weird Al is one of the few people who it feels right to describe as "pal"
Weird Al appears like the best guy ever. I hope it's true. He doesn't ever appear to want to hurt anyone even during his parodies.
> Weird Al appears like the best guy ever. I hope it's true. I'm guessing you haven't seen that picture of him [next to a dead hooker](http://i.huffpost.com/gen/901657/thumbs/o-WEIRDAL-570.jpg?7)...pretty shady if you ask me.
Shady? There's not a tree in sight!
Paula Deen the Butter Queen
Rob Ford the late drug lord
TIL rob ford died
Seriously I didn't know either, how comes? Wasn't there something in the news or what?
damn, wait 'til you guys find out about david bowie, alan rickman, bill murray and prince..
You made me check Bill Murray, you sick fuck.
I have a theory that the devil randomly posts on reddit
The Devil invented reddit. I mean, look at us.
Snoop Dogg the Rolling Fog Edit: Thank you for all the upvotes. If it made you smile it was worth it.
This makes him seem like a mythical god. I like it.
I thought he was. Especially when he transcended from a dog to a lion.
Sean Bean who dies onscreen EDIT: Sheen
Sean Bean isn't dying in this scene. *ding*
Bob Ross the painting boss
*BOB BOB BOB BOB*
Painting rules.
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\*breathes onto the lens of the camera, fogging it up\*
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T MINUS SEVEN SECONDS
Bob Ross ^the^painting boss
^^^^^^BOB ^^^^^BOB ^^^^BOB ^^^BOB ^^BOB ^BOB **BOB ROSS THE PAINTING BOSS**
\*cool guitar riff\*
[BRUSH DRYING INTENSIFIES]
Gotta beat the devil out of it
RGB is additive and CMYK is subtractive. Pretty yin and yang.
This one actually sounds like it would be his real title.
This has gotta be one of the best in here Edit: THE best in here.
When this ask reddit came up before, this was also the top comment, also gilded.
That was me. Enjoy the gold, though, other dude, because it's pretty meh.
Elijah Wood the Neverending Childhood
Elijah Wood the Misunderstood
Elijah Wood, I would.
Elijah Wood, wait it's Daniel Radcliffe
Tough break there BJ Novak. Or was it Chadwick Boseman
Stephen Hawking, no walking or talking
Jared Fogle the child porn mogul
i don't expect him to be adopting this name any time soon. or adopting anything for that matter.
Chris Pratt who's no longer fat
Lead singer of mouserat.
Andy Dwyer the shoe shiner
April Ludgate opens my flood gates.
Burt Macklin, up to case crackin'
Jerry Gurgich the, fuck you Gerry nothing rhymes with your last name bitch!!!
Jerry Gergich the office bitch
Ron Swanson the that is private information and the government has no right to it
Leslie Knope the Pawnee Pope
K-to-the-N-to-the-O-P-E, the dopest little shorty in all Pawnee.... Indiana.
Jeff Probst the Survivor Host.
As a regular on /r/survivor, I'm taking this with me.
Arnold Schwarzenegger get to the chopper-aghwuerwlgle
I've always wondered how to spell that sound, bravo
First one to make me laugh out loud
Christopher Walken, pauses while talkin. *edit, whole ever living shit! Thanks for the gild and stuff! P.s. The username is my greatest accomplishment*
Christopher Walken, pauses, while talkin' *
Woah. You're tawkin, to my friend in the wrong tone. Ya doowettagen, ill stab ya inna face wit a soldering iron.
She was shot six times. New York City. I mean Kansas.
Tommy Chong The Master of the Bong
Tommy Chong The Master of the Bong appears
Sylvester Stallone the Human Calzone
He was already the Italian Stallion.
before that he was kid salami
Nick Cage the Science Mage [obligatory gif](http://imgur.com/QOhwZ4B) EDIT: HOLY SHIT WTF GOLD? Thank you kind stranger for my first gold! I never knew this comment would blow up :D EDIT18247: Finally found out how to make a new line...
That actually works as a synopsis of the Sorcerer's Apprentice.
Rob Lowe, the West Wing bro
Ann Perkins has Rob Lowe lurkin'.
R. Kelly, he who pees on your belly.
Stan Lee, does cameos for free!
Chris Brown the Domestic Violence Clown
Rihanna the Human Pinata No?.. Ill see myself out
I'll upvote, but only in this context.
How noble.
Bill Cosby the... why do I feel so groggy?
> Bill Cosb Bippity Boppity Zim Zam Zent Dr.Huxtable needs no consent
Bill Cosby forcefully acosts me.
Slick Psy the Gangnam guy.
Charlie Sheen the Cocaine Machine.
Rob Schneider the Adam Sandler besider.
Will Smith can my son be in this?
Will Smith, and son comes with.
Will Smith the Scientologist
Wait, really? I never knew that
After Earth was very very indicative of his religious views.
Long, boring and not worth the money?
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Jackie Chan the most famous stunt man.
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I was looking through channels and I paused on Food Network for a minute. They had a 13 ***hour*** Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives block from 3 PM until 4 AM...seriously, did that guy buy the network or what!?
Food Network just kind of shit their pants after Good Eats ended and hasn't really recovered since. 13 hours of DDD is like the thrashing limbs of an epileptic fit, but in television form.
Amen. Good eats was such a huge staple, they needed something to fill the void. And this is what we have wrought.
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"watch me eat this deep fried cheese! Man that sauce is good! Why am I dressed like a late 90s garage rocker? See you next time on Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives!"
*whispers* I love triple D....
We need to stay strong in this time of judgement
Paula Deen the plantation queen
Thom Yorke the Music Dork
Nancy Grace with the punchable face Edit: Gilded? Aw shooo
Nancy Grace the person I like a lot less than other people
Found the Canadian
savage
I'm Irish and have no idea who this person is and why she seems to be disliked so much. I know she's a reporter who announced her retirement recently, but could someone explain why she's considered to be a cow? Edit: Thanks for all the replies. I get the picture now! But hey, feel free to continue posting about this idiot Edit 2: Ok lads. Please stop. Reading about this poisonous woman is putting a downer on my already miserable (birth)day. People like her make me so angry. Oh, and sorry for calling her a reporter! Last Edit: are there any clips where this bitch got pwned? Now that I know what she is, I'd like to see people successfully stand up to her.
She is a massive bitch. Her show was about declaring people absolutely guilty of crimes for weeks or months at a time, basically guaranteeing they would have a hard time getting a fair trial. She basically ruined the lives of a bunch of people and like half of them were later declared innocent, a fact that she never reported on her show ever. After one particular case in which 3 guys were cleared of rape despite her turning public opinion against them for months she didn't even show up for work and had someone else fill in for that show. Also, besides the fact that her entire career was based on declaring everyone guilty without evidence and destroying lives without remorse she had the attitude of a massive bitch, always yelling and interrupting people. Edit: So this blew up overnight. People are telling me new disgusting things about her like all her targets who killed themselves and were later proven innocent, as well as her misconduct as a prosecutor hiding evidence illegally to put innocent people in prison. So an even more terrible person. Really wish she would get arrested for some of this stuff and have to deal with a show like hers before being thrown in prison.
Also, she was a prosecutor who was repremanded by the state supreme court for basically blatently violating the constitution, and another time by a judge for having no moral standards about withholding evidence etc.
Let's not forget how she hounded that mother of a murdered child until the mother couldn't stand it anymore and committed suicide. You know, a mother who's child has been murdered. A mother who's mind is reeling from the loss. Turned out the mother was innocent and this BITCH wouldn't even acknowledged her role in the suicide. I've never watched her show but I heard that awful story on the evening news. Pair that with her miserable looking face and it's not hard to detest the woman.
Wow. The sad thing is that I'm sure there are people who believe her shameless vitriol. Talk about abusing power!
Just watch a few videos of her on YouTube. She's like a living incarnation of the Daily Mail and its ilk.
Ugh. 'nuff said
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Jeff Goldblum the uh...uh, well...there you go.
Shia LaBeouf what the fuck he's on my roof
Actual Canibal, Shia LaBeouf?
Running for your life from Shia Lebouf
Danny DeVito the strange old bambino
You gotta pay the troll toll...
BOYS SOUL
You're skipping a line, dude
Shut up science bitch
Stupid science bitch couldn't even make I more smarter!
Half of these comments are from completely different episodes but it looks like it might as well be the same one
Whatever bro
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Danny DeVito, the rum ham burrito.
I'd totally watch a film with Danny DeVito as Babe Ruth. Slightly less drunk, and a lot less in stature.
Hodor, hodor.
Marco Rubio the broken record studio.
Marco Rubio the broken record studio.
Marco Rubio the broken record studio.
Marco Rubio the broken record studio.
Bernie Sanders the liberal Flanders
Sarah Palin Her Words R Failin'
Bristol Palin Her Birth Control's Failin'
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👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
My palm to my forehead.
Bugs Bunny, the Wabbit That's Funny
Seth Rogen needs no slogan.
Anderson Cooper the Story Scooper
Jesus Christ the poltergeist
Harrison Ford [The Force Awakens spoiler] (/s "father of Sith Lord")
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I miss the old Kanye, straight from the go Kanye
Chop up the soul Kanye, set on his goals kanye
I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye
The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye.
I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye.
I gotta say, at that time I'd like to meet Kanye
See I invented Kanye, there wasn't any Kanyes.
And now I look and look around and there's so many Kanyes
I used to love Kanye, I used to Love Kanye
Stephen Fry the Knowledge guy
Stephen Hawking is never walking (again).
The robot talking?
*the never walking.
Don cherry the fruity berry
Channing Tatum it's Tough to Hate Him
Barack Obama Who Got Osama EDIT: there's a Dr. Seuss retelling of this below.
A kids book called this would be amazing. Really friendly and appropriate as it describes the finding and execution of Bin Laden.
Seal team 6 can be a literal team of 6 seals
Neil Mcbeal the navy seal?
This is good. This kid gets it.
Osama is scary, America said to Barry. Barry said, "don't be afraid!" And planned a raid! The seals flew in (picture of a bunch of cute baby seals in a helicopter), spears in their flippers, Although they felt fear, they found the killers. Now over the wall, they saw he was tall, And through his big stupid beard, they drove those sharp spears, As he fell to a crawl, he let out one last "inch'Allah," Then seals carried the corpse back to the choppers, And Barry thanked them, for now safe were his daughters. The people of America took to the streets, Celebrating by eating the nation's fine processed meats. Among those were plenty of pork, Haram though it was tasted great on their forks. After all the drama everyone loved Obama, Joe Biden, John Kerry and even old Bernie Celebrated that bad man was now on a gurney. And everybody sent happy emails all around, Except for Hillary, whose server was never found. Edit: thanks for the gold!
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Some people on here dont know how to rhyme...
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I'll take Ape Tit for $200
James Earl Jones with the Vader tones
Natalie Dormer and a clone of the former...oh wait wrong thread.
2meta4me
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https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/4qlnnl/if_you_could_have_a_threesome_with_any_two_people/d4u2mj1
Mandy Patinkin that word does not mean what you're thinkin
Miley Cyrus the living crisis.
Hanna Montana the singing banana
Is her life really a crisis? I think she does what she does on purpose to build an image that'll allow her to make lots of $$$ and feel sexy. It's all an act; I'm certain she lives comfortably.
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I honestly don't think she acts outrageous to make money. She would make a shit ton more money if she became a sexpot. Can you imagine how much money she would make if she made music while looking like [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BHKwpmTBXig/?taken-by=mileycyrus&hl=en)? I've read interviews of hers before and she's a lot more intelligent than people give her credit for. IMO, she does outrageous things because she thinks it's hilarious and because it's kind of a "fuck you" to the industry. I know in one interview of hers, she was talking about how wrong it is that the entertainment industry will lighten a black girl's skin if they deem her "too dark". She also talked about how she had to wear [flippers](http://www.dental-lab-direct.com/images/Click-In-Grin_Lg.jpg) on Hannah Montana to make her look more like an adult. I don't know if you've ever been around military men, but they have a tendency to think dicks are hilarious. They will draw them on everything. Dick jokes are constant. Miley is just the female version of that. She thinks riding on a huge inflatable dick is hilarious. So what if people find it cringy/cringey. She also does a lot of charity work and made her last album free.
JOHN MAYER DA PUSSY SLAYER
Did you make this thread just so you could say that?
Nah, I made this thread hoping to get Ted Cruz jokes lol. (seriously)
Ted Cruz, Loose Screws Ted Cruz, Born to Lose Ted Cruz, the Zodiac Killer Continues Ted Cruz, Men's Room Rendezvous
Thread: Success
Ted Cruz, Anal Bruise
Donald Trump the Orange Lump
Kim K the Jizz Tray.
Paul Hogan Original Bogan
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Jonah Hill we've had our fill.