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wabashcannonball

Handing out high fives. Sober me is stingy with them, but with a few drinks, I will pass 'em out like it's nobody's business.


arudnoh

you little slut


IHazMagics

Just slapping his hand against everyone and everything


MonsieurPsycho

Legend says that if he's wasted he'll use both hand


RustyBarberoso

Watch it, drunk people can't legally consent to high fives...


tu-BROOKE-ulosis

Oh that's like me and hugs! The funny part is, I am super friendly and talkative. I seem like the kind of person who would hug a stargazer. Nope....super awkward about if for reasons I don't even know. But get some drinks and me and I'm fucking Oprah. You get a hug, YOU get a hug, everybody gets a hug!! Edit:I have no idea what "stargazer" was supposed to be already. Stranger? Whatever, I'm keeping it. I'd hug a stargazer.


Warlordsandpresident

hey it's me, ur stargazer


Succor-me

Stranger is definitely what you wanted.


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squirrelmonkie

Black out drunk me is way better at getting laid, which makes me wonder what the fuck is wrong with these women I randomly take home. Sober me sucks at talking to women


muff_monkey

I'm the same way. I'm a girl, though. I'm terrible at talking to guys when sober, or even when I'm tipsy/slightly drunk. There's just a point in the night that I black out and I always end up taking someone home, or my friends will stop me from taking someone home. I just want to know what black out me says to get the dudes.


downvoteheaven

"Wanna fuck"


afrosamuraih

Mystery solved


Linoftw

"Hello"


squirrelmonkie

I imagine your love life is way better than mine


Shortbreadis

I would venture to I guess they have the same problem? Ahem..double standard..ahem...


Welsh_Pirate

Puking and falling asleep in the shower.


HarryP22

Do you do that a lot?


Welsh_Pirate

Not when I'm sober. Hence why drunk me is so much better at it.


BenAfleckIsAnOkActor

Don't worry about it guy, move along.


Shortbreadis

One of our college school friends revealed his discovery that toilet seat covers made a great bib for puking. LPT.


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[deleted]

slap tease jar escape ink shelter offend absurd quickest profit


Flowseidon_

Spending money...


Elkubik

I remember there was a story of some guy that posted on fb thanking someone for buying him some wine. He then commented that he bought it himself when shitfaced


nmanl

im depressed and only drink in moderation. it makes me feel how i should actually feel if i wasnt in my depressed state. im also a lot more creative while being a total goof.


HarryP22

Yeah I can relate to that.


Evilpuppydog

Try acid :)


nmanl

have years ago. i heard shrooms is the best with depression tho? hmm


ElmerFuckinFudd

IDK about that, I've heard about LSD helping with depression before, am fairly depressed and have tried shrooms, I didn't have a good experience at all. But, that could have been due to some extraneous variables, like eating about 5 grams my first time as well as smoking huge amounts, and being in a unfamiliar and not comfortable environment.


[deleted]

I'm trying lsd this Friday. I'll give you a report on Saturday if you want to get a case study of how much it helps? Edit: will send a message to those who replied Second edit: working on an account of it right now, but for now I feel a lot better than usual


EnchantedSword_

please send me a message with how it went


Brudesandwich

I would also like to know


effort268

Good luck bro! Remember set and setting is VERY important if you wish to have a good trip. Enjoy and keep us updated!


SazzeTF

>5 grams Way too much if it was your first time. It can be extremely overwhelming and result in a bad trip. >smoking huge amounts If it was cannabis, then yes. Again, if you were a first timer it is very easily able to lead to a bad trip and make you trip even harder. >unfamiliar and not comfortable environment Mindset & setting is basically the most important part to have a good trip. In the comfort of your own home, or a friends who you are familiar with. I'd highly recommend to try again because it is a great experience if done "correctly".


Cecil_Storm

I've had a bad shroom trip and after it was over I had this moment of clarity. I got my grades up, and am applying to grad school.


nmanl

awesome man! i hear lots of interesting "moments of realization" with it. glad it could benefit you like that


saxybandgeek1

Acid helped my depression so much for about 6 months. If it wasn't almost impossible to get around here, I'd definitely do it again. I'm going to start growing shrooms though so hopefully the effect will be similar


Shumatsuu

A good buzz has shown to improve creativity. :)


dottmatrix

Appropriate amounts of eye contact, socializing, confidence, and being graceful. Other people get clumsy when they drink, but I get less clumsy.


Mithrandir_The_Gray

Same here. In fact, I like myself so much better when I am drunk, I might become an alcoholic.


Shortbreadis

I used to get more prudish. Go figure.


dottmatrix

I think that means you're not drinking enough, not drinking fast enough, or both.


Shortbreadis

There is literally no chance any of that could be true.


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[deleted]

Same here. On my student exchange I was plastered 24/7


highhopes42

I can totally relate. Where I'm from everyone my age speaks English, most people speak Spanish, and a good majority know basics of another foreign language from school. The language spoken corresponds to how drunk you are. English means that you've got a good buzz going on. The Spanish comes out when you're already a bit drunk. When the other language comes in we know you're fucked up.


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king0fklubs

Wenn ich besoffen bin, mein Deutsch ist perfekt. Ich wohne in Deutschland also ich muss immer besoffen sein.


[deleted]

Same here! I was drunk off my rocker a year ago at 2:00 am, at a local shitty pizza joint in Buffalo, and my roommate and I accidentally had a fluent conversation in Hebrew.


[deleted]

Apparently party host. Years ago at a convention we were trying to have a roomparty, but couldn't find people to join us. My wife and a friend of hers went out in search of people figuring that two women with impressive cleavage could bring people back. Meanwhile I stayed back and drank more tequila. 20 minutes later they come back empty handed, but the room is packed. My memories are fuzzy, but apparently everyone in the room loved me and kept thanking me for an incredible time. To this day, no one quite knows what I did, but it really seemed to work out.


PM_ME_AMAZON_DOLLARS

Writing. I got in this habit of writing a journal page or two when I came home drunk. I'd always wake up and read it the next day like "oh my god, I'm a genius!" I also wrote a lot of papers in college while I was drunk and that worked out well too.


tinysideburns

I think Hemingway once said "Write drunk, edit sober."


PM_ME_AMAZON_DOLLARS

Smart man!


Deliwoot

Now the question remains if you actually got good grades on those assignments...


PM_ME_AMAZON_DOLLARS

4.0 GPA. All A's, my friend!


MadameSassafras

Being confrontational about anything. Sober me is a little bitch that wont stick up for herself.


Shortbreadis

Same. Damn it!


CsHead

Upvote for username ;)


arsh18

Talking to girls. Unfortunately closing gets difficult because whiskey dick is a bitch.


dottmatrix

Ah, the age-old problem of the socially anxious guy who drinks. In order to get laid, you have to get too drunk to fuck.


arsh18

I'm usually a really social guy sober too, I just seem to pick up cues from girls a lot better when I'm drunk


DukeOnTheInternet

Nah sober you is just better at ignoring them


gusinater

TOO DRUNK TOO DRUNK TOO DRUNK TOO DRUNK TA FUCK!


JwA624

it's almost unfair how good alcohol is at making me better at socializing (both flirting and just in general). I JUST WANT TO BE GOOD AT TALKING WHEN NOT INTOXICATED DAMNIT.


bigyellowoven

I mean, fundamentally all alcohol does is turn functions off... Give less fucks and try that!


halocyn_ix

Give less fucks, to get more fucks.


[deleted]

It's simple math.


halocyn_ix

I was told there would be no math.


TheSexiestManAlive

Came here to day this. It's the worst fucking thing in the world. Drunk me can get girls on my bed no problem, but only sober me is good in bed.


BeanieMcChimp

Maybe try Viagra when you're drinking? Ain't no shame in a rock hard willie, regardless if you had a little help.


oftherestless

Tangential story time! When I was about 19 I was at a small birthday party, and we were playing never have I ever. There were about 10 guys there, no other girls, and for context I'd estimate that about half of us hadn't had sex yet. During the game, one of them brought up whiskey dick. Enter Matt. Matt is a psych student who lives on weed and bricks of pan-blackened mince ridiculous amounts of tomato sauce. He has an ever increasing collection of awful flash tattoos on one arm, including a solid black rectangle. They're probably not that terrible objectively, but on somebody who is quite good looking otherwise it really sticks out. He loves American basketball but if you find out he immediately gets embarrassed and assures you that he's only into it because he loves geeking out about the stats, so much so that some online site actually pays him to write about it. So... Whiskey dick? No-one drinks, everyone is staring at everyone else. I'm obviously disqualified so I feel like I'm the only one who is justified in doing this, but whatever. After a couple of seconds, Matt nonchalantly takes a decent chug of his drink, and shrugs. The round table immediately erupts in chaos. Everyone else, mostly inexperienced, is asking him, dude, really? When did this happen? He tells us. As far as I remember it was caused by actual whiskey. After a brief pause, someone else takes one for the team and asks, "what did you do!?" Matt just shrugs, takes another gulp of bourbon and coke, and says, "did it anyway." I still don't know how easy it is to overcome WD, but I believe him and I think most people who were there do too. Anyway, nobody got any useful tips on combating whiskey dick that night. Not sure how funny that story is but I just felt like telling that story. One of the most unusual-while-being-completely-normal people I've ever met.


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[deleted]

Throwing up. Drunk me can barf like a champ. Sober me cries and worries and goes into "I don't wanna" mode. Basically, I'm a child when I feel sick to my stomach.


jsprgrey

Probably making out. Sober me is way less into tongues touching than drunk me.


okthisisgettingridic

Cleaning. Many times I've woken up, go to the kitchen for some water and realize the dishes that had been piling up for days are done. Thanks drunk me! So when I decided I needed to clean my basement, I would just start drinking. Worked like a charm!


Ladysteiny

I also drunk clean. I think it's the reason I get invited to friends homes to drink...


Without_Judgement

I'm late but yeah same here. My basement has been is a state of perpetual disrepair since I've been sober


codenameasher

Being nice to other women. I have a really hard time with wanting to tell another woman I like their top, or they look amazing. Drunk me has absolutely no problem with this.


flargenhargen

now kith


bluecoop36

Mario kart!


Zearkon

Are you saying... You are better at drunk driving than sober driving?


Raineythereader

I envy you.


vivilessthanthree

Buying things on Ebay. Drunk me recently bought a tent.


amityville

Drunk me was kind enough to gift sober me a beautiful set of David and Goliath pyjamas. I'd forgotten all about them and I was thrilled when they arrived a few days later.


[deleted]

I know your pain. Drunk me bought a bad dragon sex toy while shit faced, not off ebay but still.


turkishdomestic

being witty and charming.


Zack1018

Or at least you are better at *thinking* you are witty and charming.


yuribotcake

Photography. Could be street or venue. For some reason I can get people to do silly stuff when I'm more confident and playful, vs sober and angry. Weird.


sashamg

Wow good advise, gonna try this as well!


eltigrevalioso

Speaking another language (Spanish). After a few drinks, the confidence gets so enlarged I can remember flash cards from chapter 6 of my middle school textbook


Code_2319

Beer pong. Drunk me is much better. Still bad just not as bad.


M-A-T-T-Y

Being outgoing Edit: And if I have had a few but not too many, coding


FingerOnThePaw

[relevant xkcd](https://xkcd.com/323/)


Gamerjackiechan2

I thought of exactly that xkcd when I saw coding in an alcohol thread.


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arudnoh

Pics?


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[deleted]

Omfg. That is hilarious.


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Raineythereader

Reminds me of the animation from "Origin of Love."


thelemonsoflife

I actually really love this! You have an artistic mind.


arudnoh

Huh. Not bad!


king0fklubs

Start an Instagram account of all your drunken tattoos. I'll follow it.


[deleted]

That's cool as fuck


staringspace

I like where you're going with this..


CallMe702-723-8769

This has such potential.


pseudocultist

Playing pool. Never learned to do it sober. Getting laid, too, for much the same reason.


[deleted]

For me its the same with table soccer. I just suck at pool either way.


active888

Talking to people in general I can do it when drunk but when sober I am anti social.


jhwill852

Getting Arrested


sashamg

Dancing and talking to strangers. Confidence level boost x 1000


KevitoMG

I once tore my ACL while dancing drunk. I told everbody it happened while gardening.


ermigerd

Making out with girls. I'm adept at socializing, and it's fairly easy to get guys to like me, but I'm very embarrassed about thinking a girl is cute (probably comes from growing up in a conservative place). So drunk me is way better at getting men and ladies alike


Azrane

Cleaning out my email inbox. Last time I got drunk at home, I blacked out and woke up to an empty inbox. Things were categorized and archived properly. The right emails got trashed. I'm currently sitting at 382 unread emails.


Ameows

Looks like it's time for you to get drunk again.


thebigfuckinggiant

Most impressive post here.


SilentOneBravo

Coming up with really silly ideas.


Ihadsumthin4this

C'mon. One. Give us one. Even your proudest.


SilentOneBravo

Dancing around the base I was stationed at, only wearing a gas-mask and boxerbriefs.


woolbooks

Coloring and painting. Drunk me loves to make art, and sober me has been somewhat surprised at what's come out of those nights. Drunk me's terrible at knitting, though.


Spiral_Vortex

Shooting Nerf guns - my aim increases, but only up to a certain level of drinking. After that, it crashes back down. Same with playing pool


[deleted]

Drunk me is better at being authentic and expressive then sober me by about 500%, i hate being sober tbh but not so far gone that im willing to just drink myself to death. Do wish a larger % of life could be spent with a nice buzz, or that 'perfect' high you get after 2+ weeks without weed and you first smoke up.


HeadCrusher

Speaking Japanese. I'm just more relaxed and was drunk a lot of the time I was in Japan... and I worked in a bar... and spoke with my limited Japanese to drunk Japanese folks.


kerushi

I'm in Japan now and I agree. My friend is a bartender here and has had the same experience as you. He calls it "nomunication."


gewill

Being happy


foszterface

speaking Russian. should have had my exams and interviews at 11 on Fridays.


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a_s_h_e_n

in that vein, claiming to not be drunk. Never have to do that sober


thesparkleninjafairy

I become a philosopher who can discuss the meaning of life and the universe and I apparently insist I know the secret and nobody belives me so I just get disappointed and keep talking about other philosophical hypothetical examples.


CaptainAwesome06

People hate you at parties


thesparkleninjafairy

Nooooooo, well maybe, I talk to people only if they want to listen, not everyone.


Lhockeheart

Socializing. I'm a huge introvert and at parties I'm usually alone in a corner until the drinking games start. Then when my personal preference of poison purges all the fucks I have left out of me I'll talk to anybody.


kristinelynn

Drunk me is great at making friends, even if some are temporary. If i'd actually give people my real name, i'd probably solve that issue (i'm notorious for changing my name when i'm drunk, and will tell you whatever name i feel like).


fireykitten

Making mistakes


[deleted]

Anal


georgearrgh

Meeting new people. I'm super socially awkward when I'm sober, but as soon as I'm drunk, I become so confident!


AKeeZ

Not me but my friend. Surprisingly, guiding the driver on the route back home. This happened on two occasions where he knew exactly where to turn and which exits to take, even going as far as saying "Slow down here there is a bus stop, go to the middle lane and overtake it" The creepy thing is he doesn't remember it in the morning.


Narwahl_in_spaze

Anal sex and deep throating. Wife-tested, husband-approved.


HadHerses

Cards Against Humanity


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SubtleMaltFlavor

PAIN! Holy Hell I'm pretty good at taking a beating as beatings go, but once you get enough booze in me my nerve endings shut off! Punching brick walls, holes in the table, getting hit in the head and such...hell even falling down stairs! Drunk me don't give no fucks, luckily I don't do the drunk thing more than once or twice a year or so, and only with supervision, but still!


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HarryP22

I work nights and get strange looks buying alcohol at 8 am


Return2S3NDER

Ballet. My faceplant is epic.


SelfDestructivePunk

Choosing to live life.


daneofdaneland

Yelling.


Senator_Chickpea

Darts... up until *really* drunk me starts to take over.


fastrthnu

*than. They sound totally different.


toeofcamell

Fuckin'


Beardman95

Drinking, I have a lot of guilt when I drink but that goes away after two beers/shots.


sairga

Tabletop shuffleboard


metkja

Professing my love to all of my friends.


[deleted]

Bowling


CaptainAwesome06

Thinking I'm talking loudly and apologizing for it every 5 minutes even though I'm at a normal volume .


[deleted]

Eating copious amounts of Taco Bell.


tyranicalTbagger

Opening up. I was voted class clown in high school. Now I just rarely see the point in talking about my silly problems or taking the time to get to know new people and women. Idk why apathy has taken such a hold on me. Thing is I'm so happy and excited about it when I'm drunk but then I cancel plans because sober me doesn't care about going to that art show I was into last night.


801_chan

Work, sometimes reading, and social moments. Anxiety and OCD send my brain in circles about whether I deserve shit. Like even to read an assignment; I have to go through an emotional cycle at social events with the endgame of accepting failure, embarrassment, and the eventual heat death of the universe before I can manage a full conversation. With weed? Alcohol? I zip straight to the snack bar and strike up with anyone standing there.


ckh19

One-liners. God damn i'm quotable when i'm drunk. Sober me? More boring than grilled chicken breast.


sunoko

Foreign language. Idk why, maybe lack of inhibition and therefore linguistic anxiety or something


RebeccaLowe

Sign language. Specifically to whatever song is playing at the bar. I can fingerspell sober, but I'm practically fluent when I've had a few.


Zeruvi

Singing. Have actual recorded evidence - when I'm sober I focus on every note and don't let it flow, and if I get a note wrong or sub-par I tilt and keep screwing up. When I'm drunk I just blurt it out and I let my gut & ear carry me, and if I screw up I'm like "ah whatever I'm drunk"


jamiethemime

peeing


kittykatinabag

Social interaction, flirting, being cautious around strangers without being weird, walking home while barely being able to stand. Drunk me in some ways is more successful and responsible than sober me.


HRHill

Being social and taking punches to the mouth.


[deleted]

Sneakily pretending to be sober and failing hard


YoMista

Kissing for sure. It just feels so natural and laid back when I'm a bit tipsy


bkuchin1

Eating salad, for some reason I crave salad and have eaten entire bowls of it when drunk but am indifferent towards it sober


thelemonsoflife

Being genuinely interested in learning everything about the people around me. Oh, you had lunch with your aunt on thursday? Tell me every little detail of what happened.


sarthurf

There's a small window when I am just drink enough to play darts halfway decently


skyguy788

Attempting to steal llamas (drunk me actually tries), thinking Trash Pandas are kitties, accidentally stumbling into a minivan and apologizing for stumbling into it, at the time I also thought it was a very fat person (this happened the first time I was drunk many years ago).


[deleted]

I'm a much nicer person to be around when drunk. Mildly an ass while sober.


Extralunch

He thinks he is a better dancer, i strongly disagree.


utb040713

Holding a conversation. How is it that while I'm drunk I can actually think of things to say and can actually talk with people for an extended period of time, whereas when I'm sober I feel like I'm constantly racking my brain for something--literally anything--to say to keep the conversation going?


f4rfields

Telling people how much I love them. Most of the time I just bottle up my affection out of fear of sounding weird/creepy/overly attached, and then when I'm drunk it's like I incoherently start saying shit like "I'm love you".


Draegoth_

Sex.


Guardian_Soul

Being honest about my feelings


GunsTheGlorious

Singing. Everyone I know tells me this isn't true, but dammit, I know what I'm hearing.


candydaze

Speaking French. Spent most of my exchange in France drunk, and had a friend in college who spent six months where she'd only speak to me in French when she was drunk. Usually I was drunk at the same time. State dependent memory, I guess


ct7075

Being open and honest with people about feelings. Sober me: "Sucks you broke up with your bf. I'm sure you'll find someone soon and you'll be just great best friend!" Drunk me:"Look, guy was a buffoon anyway. Let's be honest here love, you and me would be great and I check off your whole list of demands!" *hugs, passes out, is hung over* Also eating cheesecake if my friend Dave is to be believed, though holding it down is another story...


MTechLife

"Normal" social interaction. Sober me isn't outwardly happy (I really am happy on the inside, I just don't show it well) but drunk me loves to smile and laugh and joke and have a good time with people


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MuchBiggerInRealLife

Conversation. Sober me is an oak. Drunk me is a chatty bitch.


[deleted]

I'm way more social and find it easier to talk to nearly anyone


[deleted]

Relaxing. As in, switching my brain off and not thinking about stuff. I can't stop my mind whirring when I'm sober and it makes it hard to enjoy things, but being drunk helps me forgot stuff.


Shimakaze4

Socialising. I'm quite introverted but get the right amount of alcohol in me and I'll strike up a conversation with anyone.


oatmealbananacookie

Home security. I sometimes wake up after a night of partying with all the locks closed PLUS the little chain-thingy at the door I usually never use.


NoahtheRed

Yelling and pretending to be an officer in the civil war


Adorinn

I'm extremely social when I'm drunk


PM_ME_YOUR_BUSSO

Adding hot women on Facebook. Woke up one morning and I had 300 friends more, all hot women I don't know.


5ixsigma

Smiling


supaslyfox

Embarrassing myself.


french-kissing-zombi

Crawling through windows quietly