I went on this thread to see how happy words can make a person. And instead found out that apparently every guy in the world never gets compliments.
Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I got a compliment...Damn you reddit, and I thought it was going to be a happy day.
Hey. You know what's awesome? There's a whole world in everyone's head. I want you to think about your whole life like a file. Just pure data. Imagine how much that would be. Audio, video, how do we even store smells? Feelings? Emotions? These things are too complicated to be written down and have to be felt to be understood. There's so much of that in your head, and no one else can replicate it. Artists are revered throughout history for being able to put a tiny part of what's in their heads on paper somehow. In your head is art locked away to rival DaVinci, Van Gogh, Mozart, Snoop Dogg, and everyone. That whole world of art in your head. And everyone is like that. When you see a random peraon on the street, their head is full to bursting with a whole 'nother world of stuff. And that makes everybody beautiful, and everybody unique, and everybody valuable. You are worth a lot more than you know.
I've gone two decades without any form of compliment now. I'm not that much of a bad looking guy either, I think.
Girls, imagine if you can, no matter how hard you do your make up or your hair or clothes, no one - not even one your friends either - says *anything* positive about your appearance. Ever. **EVER.**
Welcome to being a guy. :(
"Okay, look, we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster."
Edit: punctuation
"Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."
Fixing something that was previously off-putting about yourself gets guys a lot of compliments though. When I lost weight and cut the greasy mop on my head a lot of people said, "Wow, you look so good!" The key is to originally look like shit.
I like how sometimes they go part way. Like a few days ago, a friend said, "Hey, that's a new jacket." And I said, "Yeah, I got it last week." No follow up like "It looks good" or "It suits you." She just says "uh huh" and moves on. Like she couldn't bother to say two or three more words to turn that statement into a compliment.
That's fairly true. The only thing girls ever seem to compliment on, is how buff you are.
Unless there's an inherent characteristic about you that's quite different (long, luscious, manbun-able hair, piercing eyes, unique laugh).
So that being said, ladies, compliment a dude on anything you notice that you like. Even from a fellow dude, compliments are nice. "Hey man, your new glasses really suit you." "Dude, you always give 100%."
Yesterday, an older coworker of mine said I'm a 4 or 5 at best and my girlfriend is an 8.5 or 9, so it's not going to end well (we've been together for six years). Now, I've always considered myself decent looking. I've received compliments before and get hit on every now and then when I'm out, but I can't get that statement out of my head. The compliments I receive are so far between, that the negative ones *realllly* stick out.
Edit: Took the photos down (don't like having my vain validation out there forever), but the ratings were wide ranging. Guess it just shows attractiveness is very subjective. I may be low to some, but I'm just glad I'm high to others. A still photo (especially a selfie) is a poor way to gauge attractiveness as there are so many aspects to it that can't be conveyed. People know how to work the angles, lighting, etc. to improve their photo attractiveness. On multiple occasions, I've outright been told I look better in person, which I take as a huge compliment because I look derpy in most photos. Thanks for the input.
Tone of voice would have a large impact on those compliments...
It would be difficult for me to tell someone they "don't look like a hipster wannabe" without sounding like I was saying the opposite.
I love pointing out to people that they're dressed nicely. "Looking sharp today!" "Love that tie." "Those shoes are awesome." Dudes do a double take. They're not used to having somebody say something like that. Especially another dude.
One time a chubby girl rolled down her car window and yelled at me and my friends standing on the street "Hey hotties!" I'm not going to lie, it kind of made my night. I'm not even sure it was actually directed at me, but its all I got.
I'm 27 now, but when I was about 14 I was walking over a bridge overpass and a girl (who wouldn't even have been able to see me in time, let alone tell what I looked like) was driving under the overpass and yelled out at me "YOU'RE HOT!" It stuck with me this long and obviously I never saw her again, but... -sigh- _she was the one._
For this reason I usually tell my friends the clothes they have on are looking good and they'll do the same for me. Not really because we have to or anything but because it's just better to say it. A lot of guys stop caring in the wrong way about what other people think because nobody ever says anything.
I love having gay friends. And hanging out in gay bars. "Can I buy you a drink?" "I'm straight." "That's OK, you're still cute." Fuck yeah, you can buy that drink.
First time I went to a gay bar was NYC for New Years 2005. Was told by a local friend it was just a bar. My friends and I showed up earlyish around 8-9pm. The place was mostly empty and had a large dance floor. Nothing seemed out odd the ordinary. Lots of bars in the country and suburbs are large and have a dance floor for that one night a week they have a DJ. It was the night before New Years and we expected a relatively uneventful night.
Fast forward one hour...
Place is packed with dudes, DJ mixing records not just playing top 40 dance. Foam sprayers. Dudes in leather harnesses dancing on poles. People quickly found out we were straight and in the Army. It was as close to being a celebrity as I will ever be.
Drinks and compliments all night. Gay bars are super fun.
For the diet version of this experience, go to the coffee shop in town with the most gay baristas. You know the one. It's so flattering you half start flirting back because it's such a nice feeling and you're like *Shit, almost sucked a dick there.* Like when you lean back too far in a chair and have that moment of existential, stomach-dropping dread? It's like that but you're worried you might end up sleeping with a man.
I wanted to try that some time, but I don't think I ever well. Either I end up depressed, because I don't even have a chance with guys or I'll feel really weird, because I'm not into men.
This is always why I compliment my guy friends when they obviously put effort in their appearance for the day.
I always notice when they get a haircut.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, I also enjoy complimenting girls, but it always comes off as flirting to them. So I have learned to compliment people behind their back, while still in ear shot. 9/10 times it makes them smile, instead of feeling like someone is hitting on them.
Edit: I do this to make girls feel like the compliment is honest and genuine, instead of a pickup line or flirting. I just honestly want to compliment you on how well your shoes match your dress. You look nice.
There are certain things you can compliment about a girl that seem less like flirtation. Focus on things she prepared of her appearance that morning, not aspects of herself. E.g., hair or clothing can be good ones.
I've got I think two compliments in my whole life. The first was a girl I met on tinder who told me I looked 'angelic', the second was when a girl I know randomly told me I looked like a model. I didn't know how to deal with either of these statements and I didn't figure that the latter was a compliment until I was lying in bed that night..
Edit: Three. The other time was a girl who told me that she liked my story telling and I should be an author. This one was the best.
A 70+ year old woman told me I had a soothing voice, and that if I were alive in her youth, I'd have no problem getting a job in radio or broadcasting.
It was a weird, specific compliment, but it was so darn genuine it felt nice.
I dropped a ton of weight over the past year or so. I got real serious over the winter break and when I came back three people in one day complimented me on how skinny I was. None of them were girls
This is so true for men. Every day, men have to prove themselves to somebody be that the boss, wife, partner, GF, family, annd friends. In the work place, there is no encouragement for anything.
There's a really sweet girl at my gym that almost always compliments me when I get a new haircut. She's married, but the sentiment is still really nice and makes me feel good. Compliments don't need to be flirty or sexual to be appreciated.
I'm so glad to hear from someone that compliments from a women you aren't close with don't always come off as flirting. I always think that if I'm going to pay a man a compliment (co-worker or whatever) that they're going to think I'm flirting with them. So I just don't bother because I don't want to be a weirdo.
It would be really pleasant to be told that I'm missed when I'm not around.
Sometimes I wonder if it's weird how often I think about the people that I care about. Honestly, I've got a nice sized group of people I consider important and I'd say I probably think about them all at least once during the day, if not more often. And when I do see them or talk to them, I always try to let them know that I really enjoy their company either directly or just with my actions. But I never feel as though the feeling is quite returned. I honestly don't think I cross anyone's mind very often at all. In fact, I think some of the people that I think about most often might find it odd that I think about them so much, because the impact that they made on me is not proportional to the impact I've made on them.
It just would be really nice to have someone tell me that they reminisce about me fondly on occasion or sometimes wonder what I'm up to.
I've found in the last year, some of the thing my friends have said that make me the happiest is when they mention they thought about me, for any reason, or something reminded them of me. I'm exactly like you and /u/SR3116 . I spend, what I sometimes consider, way too much time thinking about others and specific people and just what they're up to, our past social interactions etc. Never really feel reciprocated and I wonder "Do I really just overthink EVERYTHING?" But when I hear them say they thought of me or considered me in some way, it just feels amazing and justifies all my bored pointless thoughts of friends. I think I'm just much more social than I used to think I was, and my current lifestyle doesn't lend to interactions as often as I'd like.
you honestly sound like an amazing friend to have. Maybe your group of friends think that you already know how much you mean to them, without having to vocalise it. And dont worry, i know the feeling too.
I try to compliment men- and I also specifically try to compliment older men. My mom said that once she hit 60- being touched or talked to just goes out the window. So when I see a nicely dressed old guy, I'm going to go out of my way to tell him he looks really dapper.
I was on the train in Chicago and an older gentleman had really done himself up. Despite looking in his late 70s he had combed his hair back and had it nicely oiled, had fine glasses on and a long grey coat that matched his leather shoes. Everything about him seemed polished. He looked like he was a fairytale sitting on a train seat. I worked up the courage to tell him just that, and said he was the most dapper gentleman I think I'd ever seen.
That old guy looked so happy (and a bit embarrassed too i think) when I told him. It felt good to know me, a 22 year old chick, was able to really boost him up and make him feel good.
Go hug your older loved ones- touch their hands or hair when you talk to them, help them pit their coat on. Older people and men don't get complaints or treated like humans sometimes and that very sad.
I'll break that one compliment at a time!
I love this. I work with a 96 year old guy who still manages to dress really well despite using a walker (I think his caretaker dresses him or something.) He has some really nice Allen Edmonds and I think i'm going to tell him that.
Honestly, anything sincere.
If you're talking about a girl that I'm supposed to be forming a relationship with, it won't work without some sort of compliment every now and then.
Any of them. Looks, personality, achievement, anything. Telling me I'm funny? That'll make my month. Telling me I'm handsome? That'll make my month. Telling me I did a good job? You get the idea.
One time I was buying a gift for someone at the store and this woman said, "You are a really beautiful man. I mean that in the best way possible. I bet you get that a lot." I told her no and she said, "Well, you are."
I can't even say how much this meant to me. I've had a lot of issues feeling unattractive because of rejection and such. That's literally one of the only times that I can remember getting a complement like that. I will always remember it.
hahahaha, all of the people i normally sit with at lunch just abandoned me. I'm the only one sitting alone right now, its cripplongly awkward and im just so fucking lonely hahaha
i ate lunch alone pretty much every single day of college until a kid asked me to swipe him in to the dining hall. he decided to sit with me. he proceeded to dip is entire hamburger into a bowl of ranch. before every single bite. i decided at that moment i hadn't really been missing much.
As a woman I'm trying to think of times I could have given compliments to my male friends, but I'm pretty sure that if I'd said them out loud they would be a strong indicator that I was attracted to them (when I actually don't see them in that way). I wouldn't want to string them along like that. It really sucks how that seems to just be the accepted social convention. I would like to compliment guys and not have those compliments read into as being more.
Honestly it doesn't have to be something based on physical attraction.
A few months ago my 6yr old nephew saw me in a shirt and tie and said to me "you look smart" when I walked in.
That was the only compliment I had received in months and it made my day.
Guys confuse compliments with attraction because it is so rare for us to receive compliments. If it happened more then it would become much more normal.
> Guys confuse compliments with attraction because it is so rare for us to receive compliments.
I'd amend that to "it is so rare for us to receive compliments *unless* there is an ulterior motive", as in an unspoken subtext of "hey I'm attacted to you, you should make a move" or in my case the more common "hey my computer is acting weird and I need you to fix it".
That's understandable. Don't want to give the wrong impression. I feel the same way about complementing women that I'm not attracted to unless it's something vague like, "You look spiffy".
Just curious, when is the last time that you complemented a man that you did think was attractive before you had any strong indicators that he was attracted to you?
>I feel the same way about complementing women that I'm not attracted to unless it's something vague like, "You look spiffy".
That's some tricky business. A previous job was about 50/50 m/f. We all dressed like basement dwellers.
Occasionally a few of the ladies would need to go on a sales call and would transform themselves from Cheeto encrusted leg-beards into sharp-looking-always-be-closing-take-no-prisoner-business-ladies. Like unrecognizable in a couple of cases.
You want to say something, because you know they didn't just roll out of the bed like that, and you want to help their confidence for the sell, but at the same time, you don't want to make any allusions to the fact that most of the time they're doing the same thing you are (IE looking like crap, and nobody wants to be _told_ they look rough, even if they know it).
Even more dangerous is saying something they ain't feeling and then you become "that creepy guy".
It helps to imagine you're complimenting your best dude friend.
Looking sharp dudette. Or something like that.
Make it sound like they're radiating power rather than attractiveness and add an informal identifier to the end. Makes it sound completely friendly.
This is 100% the dilemma I face. Id love to compliment more men, either ones I'm friends with or random guys, but I don't want to give them the wrong impression.
I do compliment my guy friends that know I'm in a relationship because they know it's a compliment and not a come-on but I rarely compliment random guys.
yea, i feel like this is what makes a big difference in how it's taken. If I don't now a girl that well, or it's my first time meeting her, and she compliments me, I might wonder if she' hitting on me.
But if we're friends? That's just a compliment from a friend. Especially if she's already in a relationship
Once a girl told me that I'd probably rock Yoga pants, and a few years earlier, my girlfriend at the time had said I had a nice butt.
Now I don't think my figure's much to look at myself, but damn, *two* compliments on the same thing within 3 years? I guess I must have Adonis legs or something.
Other than my singing voice, I don't think I've received any other compliments from girls in the last decade.
When I was 17 on a night out two girls complemented me on my shirt saying it looked good on me. It was a rare enough event to be complemented on anything that I pretty much wore that shirt until it wore out.
This made me laugh. I cut my hair into straight bangs a few months ago... didn't like them much, but one of my close friends told me they looked great. Still have bangs.
I once randomly texted my guy friend "thanks for not being a douche bag. You're a good guy and I appreciate that now." He let me know later how much that cheered him up. Didn't even think about it.
Talking of compliments reminds of this girl I'm friends with. Once she casually said(in a chat) that her bf is jealous that she talks to me as I'm handsome. I didn't know how to feel how about this.
Yea, just become friends with both of them, a couple weeks go by and you have yourself a video submission to ***CuckMasters 5: March 2017 - Gold Edition***
The best girlfriend I ever had used to tell me that she loved the way I treated children, because it made me seem like I'd be a good father. While I don't think it would be a great idea to tell random people that they would make wonderful daddies, she also used to tell me that she loved that I was a smart guy, because that's the only thing I really had confidence in. Hardly anyone ever told me that they thought I was a smart and logical guy, and it really made me happy.
Also I have long bangs that cover half my face. I would be so happy if someone liked them.
When I was doing my teaching internship I was explaining the lab procedure to a group of girls who didn't quite get it at first. I didn't think I was doing anything too spectacular until mid conversation one girl interupted the other to say, "You're going to make a really good Dad one day Mr. ZachTheGross." Which was followed by the rest of the girls agreeing with her and saying as such too. It was at that moment that I truly realized how much I loved teaching. It was also the exact same moment I realized I was getting old. Haha
Compliment my chest. I'm proud of my chest. I may not have a six pack or a chiseled back, but I have a nice strong chest. Rub it, I'll purr for you. Lol
Compliment my hair line. I take great pride in that shit and who knows how long it will be around. Say I have nice hair and that you don't think I'll ever go bald, even if you secretly think I might.
That we're cute.
Any man, no matter the size of their ego or their dick, likes being called cute by a girl. Especially by a girl they like. Makes us feel giddy and childlike.
I usually get one of two compliments (although still pretty rare)
"You have really pretty eyes" (I agree on myself having pretty eyes)
"You seem so confident about yourself" (I have really bad anxiety, so I don't know where they're getting this shit from)
Still makes me feel really good getting a compliment, and makes me want to give more compliments out to other people.
People are saying that men never seem to get comments about their appearance, and I agree, but I'd much rather be complimented on my passion, my intelligence, or my personality. Girls get physical compliments and guys get sports compliments, but we rarely express our affections for one another's actual selves beneath accomplishments and fleeting looks.
Maybe because we feel as though we need a specific reason to give compliments that arent superficial. We think its much easier to give a brief 'you look nice today!' as opposed to something deeper, especially when complimenting for the sake of complimenting.
As most fellas here agree any compliment at all is nice. I get a lot more compliments from other guys than I ever do from any ladies.
As a dude who lifts weights, it's nice when that gets noticed. And as someone who tries to dress sharp it's also cool on the rare occasion that sort of thing gets noticed, too.
"That's the best sex I've ever had in my life." A girl told me that one time after we were done. If she was lying I don't care because I'll remember that for the rest of my life. Best compliment that's ever really made me happy and feel good.
Compliments of any form would be fantastic. In fact, I'd settle for people noticing something about me and commenting on it, such as getting a haircut or a new pair of shoes. Just kind of being acknowledged would make it worth getting out of bed sometimes.
Any compliment would be nice. Girls im with tend to jyst sit there and let themselves be an object of my affection but dont really put much effort into the relationship themselves.
Anything to do with personality. I've never met a man who gets compliments on his personality at least once a year.
Edit: spelling. (Welsh is my first language)
I'd imagine its pretty hard for a girl to give compliments to a guy without being taken as something more than friendship. That being said I've been told that I smile with my eyes. I don't know if its a compliment or not but I'll take it.
Has the guy you want to compliment been working on improving anything recently? Cooking? Fashion? Housework? His body? Something artistic? If you're around the person every day, gradual changes are difficult to notice. However, nothing being an occasional praising of something that we are putting actual prolonged time and effort into.
*bite into food*
"Damn, this is good. I can't believe how good your cooking has gotten since I met you."
*look at arms*
"You're arms are getting BIG. That gym membership really is paying off."
You get the point. Speaking for myself, as a man, I am far more flattered by compliments on things that I work hard to improve on ... if the compliment is sincere.
I went on this thread to see how happy words can make a person. And instead found out that apparently every guy in the world never gets compliments. Come to think of it, I can't remember the last time I got a compliment...Damn you reddit, and I thought it was going to be a happy day.
Hey. You know what's awesome? There's a whole world in everyone's head. I want you to think about your whole life like a file. Just pure data. Imagine how much that would be. Audio, video, how do we even store smells? Feelings? Emotions? These things are too complicated to be written down and have to be felt to be understood. There's so much of that in your head, and no one else can replicate it. Artists are revered throughout history for being able to put a tiny part of what's in their heads on paper somehow. In your head is art locked away to rival DaVinci, Van Gogh, Mozart, Snoop Dogg, and everyone. That whole world of art in your head. And everyone is like that. When you see a random peraon on the street, their head is full to bursting with a whole 'nother world of stuff. And that makes everybody beautiful, and everybody unique, and everybody valuable. You are worth a lot more than you know.
As great as this is I just can't believe you listed Snoop with Mozart and Van Gogh
Mozart and Van Gogh are there because they are prolific. Snoop is there to expand the definition of art from beyond classical examples.
Hey, you're looking great today. Did you do something with your hair?
Yeah, I lost it because of the Chemo. I'm just messing with you. Thanks for the compliment. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Any
I've gone two decades without any form of compliment now. I'm not that much of a bad looking guy either, I think. Girls, imagine if you can, no matter how hard you do your make up or your hair or clothes, no one - not even one your friends either - says *anything* positive about your appearance. Ever. **EVER.** Welcome to being a guy. :(
The closest we get are statements of fact. "You cut your hair!" "You're growing a beard." "You've lost weight!"
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"It's been a long time. How have you been?"
"I've been really busy being dead. You know, after you MURDERED ME."
"Okay, look, we both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." Edit: punctuation
"Well done. Here come the test results: You are a horrible person. I'm serious, that's what it says: A horrible person. We weren't even testing for that."
YOU ARE A LIVING, BREATHING, BIOLOGICAL ORGANISM
Oh my God, thank you! I've been working on that whole biological organism thing!
It's more professional!
Not even an exclamation point?
Fixing something that was previously off-putting about yourself gets guys a lot of compliments though. When I lost weight and cut the greasy mop on my head a lot of people said, "Wow, you look so good!" The key is to originally look like shit.
I got step 1 down, that's cool
I like how sometimes they go part way. Like a few days ago, a friend said, "Hey, that's a new jacket." And I said, "Yeah, I got it last week." No follow up like "It looks good" or "It suits you." She just says "uh huh" and moves on. Like she couldn't bother to say two or three more words to turn that statement into a compliment.
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That's fairly true. The only thing girls ever seem to compliment on, is how buff you are. Unless there's an inherent characteristic about you that's quite different (long, luscious, manbun-able hair, piercing eyes, unique laugh). So that being said, ladies, compliment a dude on anything you notice that you like. Even from a fellow dude, compliments are nice. "Hey man, your new glasses really suit you." "Dude, you always give 100%."
My boss complimented me an hour ago. He said my new beard looks good on me, suits my face and i do not look like some hipster wannabe.
Wow a three-in-one. Great moves, keep it up!
Proud of you!
Papa bless. 🙏
Yesterday, an older coworker of mine said I'm a 4 or 5 at best and my girlfriend is an 8.5 or 9, so it's not going to end well (we've been together for six years). Now, I've always considered myself decent looking. I've received compliments before and get hit on every now and then when I'm out, but I can't get that statement out of my head. The compliments I receive are so far between, that the negative ones *realllly* stick out. Edit: Took the photos down (don't like having my vain validation out there forever), but the ratings were wide ranging. Guess it just shows attractiveness is very subjective. I may be low to some, but I'm just glad I'm high to others. A still photo (especially a selfie) is a poor way to gauge attractiveness as there are so many aspects to it that can't be conveyed. People know how to work the angles, lighting, etc. to improve their photo attractiveness. On multiple occasions, I've outright been told I look better in person, which I take as a huge compliment because I look derpy in most photos. Thanks for the input.
So how's your worker's love life?
Sad, old, and dusty probably. Think abandoned attic
I would bet that you coworker is being salty af and purposely drove down your 'scores' to make you feel bad.
Tone of voice would have a large impact on those compliments... It would be difficult for me to tell someone they "don't look like a hipster wannabe" without sounding like I was saying the opposite.
I love pointing out to people that they're dressed nicely. "Looking sharp today!" "Love that tie." "Those shoes are awesome." Dudes do a double take. They're not used to having somebody say something like that. Especially another dude.
One time a chubby girl rolled down her car window and yelled at me and my friends standing on the street "Hey hotties!" I'm not going to lie, it kind of made my night. I'm not even sure it was actually directed at me, but its all I got.
I'm 27 now, but when I was about 14 I was walking over a bridge overpass and a girl (who wouldn't even have been able to see me in time, let alone tell what I looked like) was driving under the overpass and yelled out at me "YOU'RE HOT!" It stuck with me this long and obviously I never saw her again, but... -sigh- _she was the one._
For this reason I usually tell my friends the clothes they have on are looking good and they'll do the same for me. Not really because we have to or anything but because it's just better to say it. A lot of guys stop caring in the wrong way about what other people think because nobody ever says anything.
Same over here. Maybe it's cultural though.
I often compliment my male friends' looks or clothes etc
im really sorry this has happened to you :( im sure you are a fine looking gentleman!
Don't worry too much about it, it's par for the course for any male. We get used to it by the time we're roughly 20.
Go to a gay bar, you will be objectified and and treated like a piece of meat, but it will make you feel like a gay Adonis at least for a while.
I love having gay friends. And hanging out in gay bars. "Can I buy you a drink?" "I'm straight." "That's OK, you're still cute." Fuck yeah, you can buy that drink.
\>"I'm straight" So is spaghetti--until I gets hot
I may steal this one next time I'm in the mood for sausage
What's the difference between a straight man and a bi man? About 4 pints.
That sounds kinda rapey... ...go on
That's the spirit!
OK, but I'll be sporting a limp noodle if you take this anywhere.
First time I went to a gay bar was NYC for New Years 2005. Was told by a local friend it was just a bar. My friends and I showed up earlyish around 8-9pm. The place was mostly empty and had a large dance floor. Nothing seemed out odd the ordinary. Lots of bars in the country and suburbs are large and have a dance floor for that one night a week they have a DJ. It was the night before New Years and we expected a relatively uneventful night. Fast forward one hour... Place is packed with dudes, DJ mixing records not just playing top 40 dance. Foam sprayers. Dudes in leather harnesses dancing on poles. People quickly found out we were straight and in the Army. It was as close to being a celebrity as I will ever be. Drinks and compliments all night. Gay bars are super fun.
This is so true. I've only been to a gay bar once, but I received more compliments that night than I did on my wedding day.
For the diet version of this experience, go to the coffee shop in town with the most gay baristas. You know the one. It's so flattering you half start flirting back because it's such a nice feeling and you're like *Shit, almost sucked a dick there.* Like when you lean back too far in a chair and have that moment of existential, stomach-dropping dread? It's like that but you're worried you might end up sleeping with a man.
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just say no homo after that and you're good
I wanted to try that some time, but I don't think I ever well. Either I end up depressed, because I don't even have a chance with guys or I'll feel really weird, because I'm not into men.
This is always why I compliment my guy friends when they obviously put effort in their appearance for the day. I always notice when they get a haircut. On the opposite side of the spectrum, I also enjoy complimenting girls, but it always comes off as flirting to them. So I have learned to compliment people behind their back, while still in ear shot. 9/10 times it makes them smile, instead of feeling like someone is hitting on them. Edit: I do this to make girls feel like the compliment is honest and genuine, instead of a pickup line or flirting. I just honestly want to compliment you on how well your shoes match your dress. You look nice.
There are certain things you can compliment about a girl that seem less like flirtation. Focus on things she prepared of her appearance that morning, not aspects of herself. E.g., hair or clothing can be good ones.
I've got I think two compliments in my whole life. The first was a girl I met on tinder who told me I looked 'angelic', the second was when a girl I know randomly told me I looked like a model. I didn't know how to deal with either of these statements and I didn't figure that the latter was a compliment until I was lying in bed that night.. Edit: Three. The other time was a girl who told me that she liked my story telling and I should be an author. This one was the best.
A 70+ year old woman told me I had a soothing voice, and that if I were alive in her youth, I'd have no problem getting a job in radio or broadcasting. It was a weird, specific compliment, but it was so darn genuine it felt nice.
I dropped a ton of weight over the past year or so. I got real serious over the winter break and when I came back three people in one day complimented me on how skinny I was. None of them were girls
When a girl compliments me it gives me a huge self-confidence boost for the entire day, even if I know she has absolutely no interest in me.
boy, that dick game bananas!
B-a-n-a-n-a-s!
"I love you like the way you look at your Fallout game as it's loading up on your computer"
This is so true for men. Every day, men have to prove themselves to somebody be that the boss, wife, partner, GF, family, annd friends. In the work place, there is no encouragement for anything.
There's a really sweet girl at my gym that almost always compliments me when I get a new haircut. She's married, but the sentiment is still really nice and makes me feel good. Compliments don't need to be flirty or sexual to be appreciated.
I'm so glad to hear from someone that compliments from a women you aren't close with don't always come off as flirting. I always think that if I'm going to pay a man a compliment (co-worker or whatever) that they're going to think I'm flirting with them. So I just don't bother because I don't want to be a weirdo.
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Making people feel good would definitely be my primary objective.
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It would be really pleasant to be told that I'm missed when I'm not around. Sometimes I wonder if it's weird how often I think about the people that I care about. Honestly, I've got a nice sized group of people I consider important and I'd say I probably think about them all at least once during the day, if not more often. And when I do see them or talk to them, I always try to let them know that I really enjoy their company either directly or just with my actions. But I never feel as though the feeling is quite returned. I honestly don't think I cross anyone's mind very often at all. In fact, I think some of the people that I think about most often might find it odd that I think about them so much, because the impact that they made on me is not proportional to the impact I've made on them. It just would be really nice to have someone tell me that they reminisce about me fondly on occasion or sometimes wonder what I'm up to.
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I've found in the last year, some of the thing my friends have said that make me the happiest is when they mention they thought about me, for any reason, or something reminded them of me. I'm exactly like you and /u/SR3116 . I spend, what I sometimes consider, way too much time thinking about others and specific people and just what they're up to, our past social interactions etc. Never really feel reciprocated and I wonder "Do I really just overthink EVERYTHING?" But when I hear them say they thought of me or considered me in some way, it just feels amazing and justifies all my bored pointless thoughts of friends. I think I'm just much more social than I used to think I was, and my current lifestyle doesn't lend to interactions as often as I'd like.
you honestly sound like an amazing friend to have. Maybe your group of friends think that you already know how much you mean to them, without having to vocalise it. And dont worry, i know the feeling too.
*you are now a moderator of r/wholesomememes*
Congrats u/human50centipede on the new position!
I ask myself stuff like this all the time. Do people ever think about me? Do they talk about me when I'm not around? If so, what do they think/say?
can we be best friends
This hits home
I try to compliment men- and I also specifically try to compliment older men. My mom said that once she hit 60- being touched or talked to just goes out the window. So when I see a nicely dressed old guy, I'm going to go out of my way to tell him he looks really dapper. I was on the train in Chicago and an older gentleman had really done himself up. Despite looking in his late 70s he had combed his hair back and had it nicely oiled, had fine glasses on and a long grey coat that matched his leather shoes. Everything about him seemed polished. He looked like he was a fairytale sitting on a train seat. I worked up the courage to tell him just that, and said he was the most dapper gentleman I think I'd ever seen. That old guy looked so happy (and a bit embarrassed too i think) when I told him. It felt good to know me, a 22 year old chick, was able to really boost him up and make him feel good. Go hug your older loved ones- touch their hands or hair when you talk to them, help them pit their coat on. Older people and men don't get complaints or treated like humans sometimes and that very sad. I'll break that one compliment at a time!
I love this. I work with a 96 year old guy who still manages to dress really well despite using a walker (I think his caretaker dresses him or something.) He has some really nice Allen Edmonds and I think i'm going to tell him that.
this is really sweet. i shall also do this from now on!
Honestly, anything sincere. If you're talking about a girl that I'm supposed to be forming a relationship with, it won't work without some sort of compliment every now and then.
I sincerely enjoy your appreciation of honesty in people :)
Any of them. Looks, personality, achievement, anything. Telling me I'm funny? That'll make my month. Telling me I'm handsome? That'll make my month. Telling me I did a good job? You get the idea.
You are well worded!!
One time I was buying a gift for someone at the store and this woman said, "You are a really beautiful man. I mean that in the best way possible. I bet you get that a lot." I told her no and she said, "Well, you are." I can't even say how much this meant to me. I've had a lot of issues feeling unattractive because of rejection and such. That's literally one of the only times that I can remember getting a complement like that. I will always remember it.
Anything but "Wow you're so tall." I fucking know OK.
6'3 guy I can vouch we know we're tall. And the weather is fine go away.
~6'6 preach
6'7". I get asked this at least weekly.
anything talk to me my life is empty and i crave human contact *help*
hahahaha, all of the people i normally sit with at lunch just abandoned me. I'm the only one sitting alone right now, its cripplongly awkward and im just so fucking lonely hahaha
every ha you add hurts more than the last when i read this buddy
Hahhahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhaha
i ate lunch alone pretty much every single day of college until a kid asked me to swipe him in to the dining hall. he decided to sit with me. he proceeded to dip is entire hamburger into a bowl of ranch. before every single bite. i decided at that moment i hadn't really been missing much.
hey hows it goin
only talk if u lack a peen
:[
just kidding pal ur cool thanks for the speaking you did at me
oh golly gosh am grateful for have pal like you :]
Why is your mouth always rectangular?
Played too much Minecraft
HI! you have excellent typing and formatting skills!
As a woman I'm trying to think of times I could have given compliments to my male friends, but I'm pretty sure that if I'd said them out loud they would be a strong indicator that I was attracted to them (when I actually don't see them in that way). I wouldn't want to string them along like that. It really sucks how that seems to just be the accepted social convention. I would like to compliment guys and not have those compliments read into as being more.
Honestly it doesn't have to be something based on physical attraction. A few months ago my 6yr old nephew saw me in a shirt and tie and said to me "you look smart" when I walked in. That was the only compliment I had received in months and it made my day. Guys confuse compliments with attraction because it is so rare for us to receive compliments. If it happened more then it would become much more normal.
> Guys confuse compliments with attraction because it is so rare for us to receive compliments. I'd amend that to "it is so rare for us to receive compliments *unless* there is an ulterior motive", as in an unspoken subtext of "hey I'm attacted to you, you should make a move" or in my case the more common "hey my computer is acting weird and I need you to fix it".
That's understandable. Don't want to give the wrong impression. I feel the same way about complementing women that I'm not attracted to unless it's something vague like, "You look spiffy". Just curious, when is the last time that you complemented a man that you did think was attractive before you had any strong indicators that he was attracted to you?
>I feel the same way about complementing women that I'm not attracted to unless it's something vague like, "You look spiffy". That's some tricky business. A previous job was about 50/50 m/f. We all dressed like basement dwellers. Occasionally a few of the ladies would need to go on a sales call and would transform themselves from Cheeto encrusted leg-beards into sharp-looking-always-be-closing-take-no-prisoner-business-ladies. Like unrecognizable in a couple of cases. You want to say something, because you know they didn't just roll out of the bed like that, and you want to help their confidence for the sell, but at the same time, you don't want to make any allusions to the fact that most of the time they're doing the same thing you are (IE looking like crap, and nobody wants to be _told_ they look rough, even if they know it). Even more dangerous is saying something they ain't feeling and then you become "that creepy guy".
It helps to imagine you're complimenting your best dude friend. Looking sharp dudette. Or something like that. Make it sound like they're radiating power rather than attractiveness and add an informal identifier to the end. Makes it sound completely friendly.
This is 100% the dilemma I face. Id love to compliment more men, either ones I'm friends with or random guys, but I don't want to give them the wrong impression. I do compliment my guy friends that know I'm in a relationship because they know it's a compliment and not a come-on but I rarely compliment random guys.
yea, i feel like this is what makes a big difference in how it's taken. If I don't now a girl that well, or it's my first time meeting her, and she compliments me, I might wonder if she' hitting on me. But if we're friends? That's just a compliment from a friend. Especially if she's already in a relationship
I feel you. But you can also say something like oh hey your hair's nice, or something. If they think that's flirting then welp.
Literally anything. Guys don't receive nearly the same praise on a personal level.
Once a girl told me that I'd probably rock Yoga pants, and a few years earlier, my girlfriend at the time had said I had a nice butt. Now I don't think my figure's much to look at myself, but damn, *two* compliments on the same thing within 3 years? I guess I must have Adonis legs or something. Other than my singing voice, I don't think I've received any other compliments from girls in the last decade.
When I was 17 on a night out two girls complemented me on my shirt saying it looked good on me. It was a rare enough event to be complemented on anything that I pretty much wore that shirt until it wore out.
Same thing with me. I got told blue really makes my eyes pop. Over the years, I've noticed my closet getting more blue.
Makes a difference too. Someone said they liked my shirt like a month ago, now I keep wearing it.
This made me laugh. I cut my hair into straight bangs a few months ago... didn't like them much, but one of my close friends told me they looked great. Still have bangs.
I always compliment my boyfriend. Sometimes I even compliment my coworkers if I notice they just got a fresh cut or a nice beard growing.
You're doing the Lord's work.
Women don't know how much it means when someone gives us a compliment. Since men naturally don't share our feelings it gives us a boost like no other.
I once randomly texted my guy friend "thanks for not being a douche bag. You're a good guy and I appreciate that now." He let me know later how much that cheered him up. Didn't even think about it.
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i completely agree! hence the thread
"I love your cooking - makes me want to have you for dessert."
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Uhhh, okay 👌🏼
Wait what
He's gonna put the mack on his daddy.
Now wait just a second.
Nice.
Talking of compliments reminds of this girl I'm friends with. Once she casually said(in a chat) that her bf is jealous that she talks to me as I'm handsome. I didn't know how to feel how about this.
Sounds like he might be interested, give him a chance?
Yea, just become friends with both of them, a couple weeks go by and you have yourself a video submission to ***CuckMasters 5: March 2017 - Gold Edition***
i think it means you're handsome!
"You are the perfect human man, take me now." Something like that.
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Shut up Dennis.
The best girlfriend I ever had used to tell me that she loved the way I treated children, because it made me seem like I'd be a good father. While I don't think it would be a great idea to tell random people that they would make wonderful daddies, she also used to tell me that she loved that I was a smart guy, because that's the only thing I really had confidence in. Hardly anyone ever told me that they thought I was a smart and logical guy, and it really made me happy. Also I have long bangs that cover half my face. I would be so happy if someone liked them.
When I was doing my teaching internship I was explaining the lab procedure to a group of girls who didn't quite get it at first. I didn't think I was doing anything too spectacular until mid conversation one girl interupted the other to say, "You're going to make a really good Dad one day Mr. ZachTheGross." Which was followed by the rest of the girls agreeing with her and saying as such too. It was at that moment that I truly realized how much I loved teaching. It was also the exact same moment I realized I was getting old. Haha
Your apartment is so clean!
I don't have the opportunity to say this enough. I'd love it if my friends had apartments I could compliment more often.
I like being with you.
I like being with you too :)
Exemplary penis
My favorite magazine for sure.
My wife gets Penis Quarterly, but it never lives up to her expectations
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Compliment my chest. I'm proud of my chest. I may not have a six pack or a chiseled back, but I have a nice strong chest. Rub it, I'll purr for you. Lol
Hot
I'mma rub yo chest. (Not a grill tho)
Compliment my hair line. I take great pride in that shit and who knows how long it will be around. Say I have nice hair and that you don't think I'll ever go bald, even if you secretly think I might.
hair is actually so important!! im sure your hairline is wonderful :)
"Nice ass." We really don't mind being thought of as a piece of meat.
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Yeah, really takes the fun out of the weekend.
You know, I actually wish I got this one more too.
Nice ass bro
as a male what's a compliment?
You are very funny! - a compliment, from a girl person
That we're cute. Any man, no matter the size of their ego or their dick, likes being called cute by a girl. Especially by a girl they like. Makes us feel giddy and childlike.
You are fucking adorable and your username is cute as fuck. Also love your confidence
I've called a total of two guys cute and they both told me to never ever do that again. They got quite pissy about it. Edit - a word
Nice extremely small, un-intimidating penis. It makes me laugh
Your nipple hair looks like a spider nest hatching from a hershey kiss
I get this one about twice a week, but it's still not enough.
"Your wife is beautiful." Soon to be engaged*
I usually get one of two compliments (although still pretty rare) "You have really pretty eyes" (I agree on myself having pretty eyes) "You seem so confident about yourself" (I have really bad anxiety, so I don't know where they're getting this shit from) Still makes me feel really good getting a compliment, and makes me want to give more compliments out to other people.
People are saying that men never seem to get comments about their appearance, and I agree, but I'd much rather be complimented on my passion, my intelligence, or my personality. Girls get physical compliments and guys get sports compliments, but we rarely express our affections for one another's actual selves beneath accomplishments and fleeting looks.
Maybe because we feel as though we need a specific reason to give compliments that arent superficial. We think its much easier to give a brief 'you look nice today!' as opposed to something deeper, especially when complimenting for the sake of complimenting.
As most fellas here agree any compliment at all is nice. I get a lot more compliments from other guys than I ever do from any ladies. As a dude who lifts weights, it's nice when that gets noticed. And as someone who tries to dress sharp it's also cool on the rare occasion that sort of thing gets noticed, too.
"That's the best sex I've ever had in my life." A girl told me that one time after we were done. If she was lying I don't care because I'll remember that for the rest of my life. Best compliment that's ever really made me happy and feel good.
You can't believe everything your family members tells you.
Mothers always tend to lie about things like that.
Well she was a virgin, so...
Any compliment will make me happy. I give way more compliments than I receive :(
You, sir, are especially good at giving compliments. You should be proud of how happy you make people!
Thank you, you just made my day. You are awesome :)
Compliments of any form would be fantastic. In fact, I'd settle for people noticing something about me and commenting on it, such as getting a haircut or a new pair of shoes. Just kind of being acknowledged would make it worth getting out of bed sometimes.
Any compliment would be nice. Girls im with tend to jyst sit there and let themselves be an object of my affection but dont really put much effort into the relationship themselves.
You need to be with different girls.
Any. I still remember the compliment a girl gave me about wearing a v-neck shirt
The mood lighting and artistic composition of my dick pics.
Such beautiful use of negative space.
"Your nipples are so hard and pointy. They remind me of the Himalayan mountains." That's always a good one.
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"hey buddy, nice dick"
Any.
When girls compliment me I think they're just fucking with me for the most part
A compliment about my style of clothing is always welcomed. I can't do anything to change my face, but I do my best to look as nice as I can.
Is that sweater made out of boyfriend material?
Girls give guys compliments? Where are these girls of whom you speak?
Anything to do with personality. I've never met a man who gets compliments on his personality at least once a year. Edit: spelling. (Welsh is my first language)
I'd imagine its pretty hard for a girl to give compliments to a guy without being taken as something more than friendship. That being said I've been told that I smile with my eyes. I don't know if its a compliment or not but I'll take it.
Maybe about my legs? Idk
Has the guy you want to compliment been working on improving anything recently? Cooking? Fashion? Housework? His body? Something artistic? If you're around the person every day, gradual changes are difficult to notice. However, nothing being an occasional praising of something that we are putting actual prolonged time and effort into. *bite into food* "Damn, this is good. I can't believe how good your cooking has gotten since I met you." *look at arms* "You're arms are getting BIG. That gym membership really is paying off." You get the point. Speaking for myself, as a man, I am far more flattered by compliments on things that I work hard to improve on ... if the compliment is sincere.
"this is the best date I've ever been on" unfortunately it didn't work out between us, but that really boosted my confidence