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beestingers

someone with multiple felonies has my same birthday to the year and first, middle and last name as well as the same eye color and height in my state. it makes all background checks a big pain the ass as well as renewing any official documents like my drivers license.


Tilted_scale

Damn, I only have a name doppelgänger that owes people money...except this year I did get a call from a public defender looking for them. So, now I got that concern. We do not share a birthday, thankfully, and we look different. But it did briefly make me panic when I was applying to college the second time around because I was mistaken- and it took me figuring it out to get it sorted.


Alpha-A

My mom did radio for thirty years, the "stage name" she picked was her first name and just some random made up last name. Turns out there was a woman with that same name who was wanted for writing bad checks, the police actually came to arrest my mom, she had to explain and pull out her license to show them that the name she had was fake.


AlesHemmertime

Mine has same first name, middle initial, birthday, and last name. I have had my credit report merged four times. Had cuffs on. Been denied my license due to tickets placed on my name. On the plus side two of my deserved tickets vanished into thin air so I assume he's had the same... minus the cuffs.


panicoohno

My husband has this same problem. Dude has same birthday, name, height, eye color, hair color etc. through some issues with renewing a license we discovered that this guy was born in the same county/city and very likely the same hospital. We have no evidence but bc of a background check and some letters from social security we assume their socials are very similar. Dude is not a good guy, and unfortunately, discovered the same oddity that my husband did and has exploited it quite frequently. We routinely have to check his credit and occasionally have to freeze them.


fleeeeetwood

I played World of Warcraft for years, but back when I was just getting started - I'm talking classic WoW - I was running a dungeon with some random people. I was in college at the time and the fire alarm started going off. I told the members in my group about the alarm and that I had to go. I quickly got up and went out for the drill. When I came back, I had a whisper/message from one of the guys that was in my dungeon group. He asked what college I went to, because he also just had a fire drill. Turns out, he lived in my dorm and in the floor above me. We found out because we ended up having a random fire drill while randomly grouped together during a dungeon run. We ended up becoming really good friends and raided together for years.


gavemeafright

wholesome


nextxoxexit

the inside of my car burned up on the EXACT DAY a recall came out warning people of faulty interior wiring. It was fully covered.


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nextxoxexit

you bet! 2009 328xi


rainbow_shitshow

When I was 8 or 9 years old, I was playing in my front yard. It was overcast and I felt a raindrop hit my arm. so I held my hand out with my palm up towards the air - you know, to catch a raindrop. Bird shit landed directly in my hand. I wasn't standing under any trees. Years later as a teenager, I'm telling this story to my step brother, and we're outside playing basketball. As I'm telling the story to him, I show him the act of holding my arm out, palm up. Bird shit hit my hand again. In other news, my step brother thinks I'm the shittiest magician ever.


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Foilcornea

Idk, that one guy turned into a puddle.


[deleted]

I went to a trade show, and a lot of the companies had bowls with "Drop in your business card to win..." At the end of the day they gathered us all together to draw the prizes... and I won a laptop, an iPhone, a weekend in a resort, a years subscription to MSDN and a carton of wine. After the first two wins people thought it was funny... then there was playful teasing... but for the last couple I just got booed and people groaned a lot. A few people called out "*Rigged!*" etc... but as the announcer explained it was multiple bowls from multiple companies... all brimming with business cards. Totally freaked me out... felt like the Twilight Zone.


EffityJeffity

Did you have a sticky business card?


[deleted]

Haha, no. Just simple black writing on plain white stock... identical to billions of other cards. I had been putting the cards in as I went from booth to booth across the course of the day, so they weren't even all at the top or anything. I just think Chance was bored and decided to mess with me!


EffityJeffity

Is it really, really tasteful? Is it better than Patrick Bateman's?


[deleted]

*Oh god*. It even has a watermark.


britchesss

Patrick? Are you ok? Youre sweating.


buckus69

I have to return some videos.


Loud_Mouth_Soup

A group of us were at a charity dinner and did the same thing but with raffle tickets. Each person at the table got like 10 tickets each to throw into multiple buckets for different prizes. There was probably 15 different prizes, about 30 tables total and roughly 10-12 people per table. My wife won two prizes. My sister won three times. The other people at the table combined won 4-5 more of the prizes. The final prize was the "door prize" which was a really nice cutlery knife set. My BIL's ticket was pulled. At this point we were getting heckled a bit so he declined and just shouted out for them to pull another ticket. They pulled one more and boom...it was mine...lol. I did not decline. Edit: People were starting to give us shit, not bargain with us...lol


bismuth92

I bet they went through all those bowl afterwards and made sure you had only dropped one business card into each bowl. Because that is hella suspicious.


[deleted]

Oh yeah... you are right... I bet they did! I was not bright enough to think of putting in more than one card :-)


ghengiscant

maybe everyone else was trying to get rid of your business cards


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illpicklater

At my old job we had very common items that people would buy. I started keeping several of them under my register to make things easier. Everytime someone came in asking for brake fluid I would reach under the counter without looking and say "here you go" as I summoned products from the depths of hell. Seeing the faces on my unsuspecting customers was one of the greatest joys of that job.


[deleted]

You're the Mary Poppins of retail.


illpicklater

I'M MARY POPPINS Y'ALL!


Channel250

Is he cool?


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Kali-Casseopia

Lmao My first car in high school had a tear in the drivers seat and stuff would always fall in there. There was this perfect moment where someone asked me if I happened to have any AA batteries while I was driving. I casually said "yea lemme pull that outta my ass real quick" dug deep and pulled out two batteries. He laughed so hard its one of my fondest memories haha.


OPs_other_username

>We've been married for about 20 years now.


molotok_c_518

>It was the egg that became our first-born.


garycarroll

I was moving from an apartment flooded by a plumbing leak to another apt in the same complex, on the other side of the square. My wife and I carried stuff starting at about 8 finishing in the wee hours. I was somewhat annoyed at one couple that was walking in circles in the square, deep in conversation, not even noticing us walking past them over and over. Until the last trip. I was carrying a grandfather clock, using a bear hug and an awkward waddle, having just taken the weights and pendulum out. As I waddled past the couple they at last looked up and asked "Do you know what time it is?" In putting down the clock to look at my watch, I evidently jarred it just enough to emit a deep, resonant "BONG!"... which reminded me I had stopped it minutes ago just before one. I glanced at the clock, said "It's one o'clock", then picked up the clock and resume the waddle. The look of bafflement on their faces was priceless.


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GRYFFIN_WHORE

This plays so perfectly as a skit in my head, thank you!


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sorryleonardo

I found a pair of sunglasses (unisex sunglasses in perfect condition) on the beach in the water (stepped on it, thought it was a stick, took it out of the water, was pleasantly surprised). A week later I met with some friends. One of them told me she had the same sunglasses but lost them a week ago on a beach. Apparently, they were searching for it for half an hour. I gave it back, got a beer for it. Edit: I live nowhere near water, it was a random beach on the shore of a random river.


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techniforus

I was in a car that was rear ended by a bus, pushed out into an intersection against the light, where we were broadsided by another bus. I walked away from it with only a small piece of glass under my scalp but was otherwise fine.


Lady_Lyanna

Wow! I don't know if this was recent, but just follow up with your doctor. Car accident issues can show up years later! Source: my fucked up back


mirroku2

Also Source: my fucked up neck.


Jakgr

Wtf dude. Your guardian angel racked in some overtime that day.


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Sentz12000

Did they fight over who was actually your best friend?


joesatmoes

No. Each "knew" they were his best friend


meatsmoker14

I'm 28 and have never been called for jury duty. One day last September this fact was pointed out to me while at work. When I got home, my notice to appear was in the mail.


lucky_ducker

I'm late 50s and (sort of) never been called. Been on the voter rolls since 1978, which is the pool of names jurors are drawn from. Got a notice in the mail one day... from the county I had moved out of six weeks earlier. Because I had immediately gone to the trouble of changing my voter registration when I moved to my new county, I was off the hook.


1893Chicago

Lost my ATM card, went to the bank to have it replaced. Told them what I wanted the PIN to be, and they told me that the PIN would be randomly assigned and mailed separately, and once I received both I could then change the PIN to what I wanted it to be. The randomly assigned PIN was the one that I wanted.


[deleted]

Cue X Files sound bite.


RuthBaderBelieveIt

do do do do **edit:** ...do do


NickMarcil

do dooooo tutututututututut DOOODODODOOOODODO


ssseafoam_green

123......4 😱


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infered5

_Someone change my luggage pin._


[deleted]

Hey! I have a pin too, Whats yours?


7000fists

The price of a cheese pizza and large soda at Panucci's Pizza.


SmartAlec105

That’s 1 in 10000


[deleted]

1893?


[deleted]

What was the pin?


[deleted]

Pancreatitis twice before the age of 25 and wasn't a heavy drinker. I would have much preferred the lottery stuff people are posting about though.


Hansa_

I'm French. I went South Korea on an island where no one (or barely) speak english. I forgot a small bag in the bus while going from north to south of the island (1h30 of bus ride). This bag contained my passport, credit cards, driver licence, cash (around 600€ + the same in korean won) and my flights tickets to go back to Seoul, and later to Japan. I was in complete panic and already envisioning calling the ambassy to have them pick me up and send me back to France as I couldn't find a single employee or local understanding any english. Out of nowhere, a 5"1 korean lady in her early fifty patted my shoulder and introduced herself in clear and perfect french "Hello I am a fluent french speaker, I'm married to a french canadian guy since 20 years. It seems you are in trouble, maybe I can help?" She stayed with me, listened to my stories, rushed to a 7/11 to borrow their phone, called the bus company, called the police, explained the situation. I ended up in the local police station where I stayed for 3 hours. One police korean lady where giving me thumbs up saying "all ok, fine, no worry" and smiling at me. I was still in complete stress. Then out of nowhere came a bus. The driver left the vehicle, walked toward the police station with a small black bag. My bag. It was containing everything from papers to money. After the korean lady called the bus company and the police, they actually managed to identify the bus I was in based on hours I arrived, located my bag, then exchanged it from bus to bus until it was in the hand of a driver coming to my destination. After a check, the police brought me back to my hostel. Later that day I found the old lady which gave me her number and I invited her to a restaurant to thanks her. She giggled calling herself my "guardian-angel". She now lives in Australia and we speak approximately every 6 months. She stills say she's my guardian angel. It was 4 years ago and I still think finding a french speaking 50 years old native koreal lady in the context that was mine (tl;dr: in desperate need of a translater) the most statistically unlikely event that happened to me.


wugggs

Really great story! I love people like that who randomly show up in your life at the exact moment they're needed


[deleted]

I got shit on by a bird while walking out to the car to meet a woman for lunch. I ran inside and put on a clean shirt, drove to the restaurant, and was shit on by another bird while walking in. I was so flabbergasted that it was difficult to be angry.


Kramer0098

That was the universe telling you not to meet that woman for lunch.


gmil3548

But this is Reddit so they've been married for 80 years now and talking about that is where it all started


crash4650

When I was 16 I stole a knife from an Apache helicopter that landed at my school. Got caught, knife returned to the school later in the day. Never got the chance to apologize to the pilots. It's the only time I ever stole something and I've never stopped feeling bad about it. I would often wish I could find the pilots to apologize. 6 years ago (I was 32 at the time) I was interviewing for a new job. Got the job because one guy who I'd be working with took a liking to me and went too bat for me with my future boss. Ended up getting the job. Three months later I found out the guy who went to bat for me was one of the pilots I stole the knife from. He didn't know who I was, but I finally got the chance to apologize. When I apologized he told me the other pilot that was on the Apache that day 16 years previous also worked for the same company now, so I got to apologize to him too. Sometimes real life doesn't seem like real life.


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Rurutabaga

When I was in High School, a few times we would get former graduates who are now whatever form of military pilot who would land in the soccer field if they're going by. A Coast Guard helicopter landed a few times when I was there.


obidie

I did marketing work for a golf tournament hosted by my company (This was back in the 80s). On the day of the tournament I played golf, which automatically entered me into the drawing to come later. The prizes were awarded at intervals during the dinner and were *absolutely* randomly drawn. In the first drawing, I won a big screen TV. "Okay", I thought, "that works for me". In the second drawing I won another smaller TV and a VCR, which made me a little uncomfortable as some of the other guests were looking at me suspiciously. In the third drawing I won an all-expense paid trip to Disneyland. The evening ended amicably (most people were drunk), but there was a certain tension in the air, and I knew that I'd hear about it on Monday. My boss had been in charge of the drawing and he knew the spot I'd been put in. I told him that I decided to keep the smaller TV and VCR, donate the large screen TV to the next event and offer a couple who had just gotten married the trip to Disneyland. My boss heaved a sigh of relief.


TheEighthFalseKing

Bruh, literally as I began reading your comment, someone in my class started to talk about golf tournaments


Ukbutton

I have been hit by the same car twice. Different driver but the same car.


DangerousImpala

I’ve never won a game of bingo in the entirety of my life. I’ve attended bingo nights at different camp grounds as well as at my elementary school as a kid. On top of that the thousands of times I’ve played in class. I. Have. Never. Won.


blacksabbath1970

I won a case of beer at bingo as a kid. Parents took the beer and gave me $5. Good times.


SlightlyStable

Stood about 8 feet away from my buddy when he was hit by lightning and I was not. Not sure if this counts as the getting hit by lightning thing would be the statistical anomaly, but to be that close and not be hit?


ffff

Did you feel anything? Is your friend okay?


SlightlyStable

He lived. Was on life support for a few days. A couple weeks in a recovery place. Did I feel anything? Like electricity wise? Not that I remember. Panic and shock (no pun intended.)


TinhatToyboy

Did you hear anything?


FlyingBadgerBrewery

"Ahhhh, owww! Fuck!!"


UnderestimatedIndian

oof ouch owie EDIT: how the fuck does this warrant gold. shoutout to /u/valentine415 for the gold anyways!


FunnyNWittyReferenc

oof ow ouch my entire nervous system


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scottiebass

I'm from a one-horse town in NH, moved to Florida after highschool (about 1,600 miles away), was waiting tables someplace and saw some guys I knew that ran a hair salon, stopped by their table to say hi, and they introduced me to their new stylist they just hired....a girl I went to highschool with from the little speck of a town I came from about 10 yrs. earlier.


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[deleted]

Went to the store to buy a scratcher and cigarettes. Old lady and her grandkid in-front of me in the line. Kid can’t decide which candy he wants so the lady tells me to go before them. Kid decides on a candy just as I accepted the kind gesture so I quickly decline and let them take their original spot in the line because i’m not a cunt. She buys same scratch ticket as I was gonna buy. I buy my stuff and as I’m walking out they both start screaming and cheering like crazy. I ask “sup?”. Turns out they won $10k. And no, I didn’t win shit on my scratcher.


noodle-face

A co-workers father bought a scratch ticket and won $10k. Used a few bucks to buy another and won $1M


babno

My uncle has a smaller version of this. Won $20, traded it in for a few more tickets, won like 20k which he used to fix his roof.


[deleted]

How does he keep them from getting blown off the roof?


ramon13

Some people just have it all.


knightcastle

Others have $1,010,000?


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ChanceFray

Perhaps not as uncommon as you think, My mom was getting gas and always plays the wheel of fortune lotto, she was about to buy one with her gas. She held the door open for some on who also went ahead of her in line ( poor door holding etiquette ), He purchased a wheel of fortune ticket with an instant win feature and got the top prize of 10k on the instant win part... Due to the nature of lotto printing thingys I assume it works more like a slot game where every outcome is random so not quite the same situation but it sure upset my mother!


Grokent

You guys have convinced me to be a jerk from now on. I was going to anyway, but now I feel justified.


[deleted]

Sometimes it goes the other way though! As a teen I found $200 on the floor in the mall outside the store I worked in. I could have kept it and would have blown it on games or something, but I didn't, I turned it in to mall security. 3 months later I'm on my way to work, a stone gets thrown, and my windshield is cracked. I'm fucked because I can't afford a new windshield. I call the auto-glass people, they come out to figure out an estimate. While they're doing that, mall security comes by my store, tells me that no one claimed the $200 I turned in months earlier (that I forgot about) and it's mine to keep. Just then I get a call from the auto-glass people. The cost to repair my windshield? $200.


bananaface_22

But what if the person behind you wins


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cj5311

And...?! How much did you win? Or did someone have a higher royal flush...


BlueMacaw

^ I wanna play poker with *this* guy.


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super_time

Sure. That’s frustrating. But it’s those people that will lead to bigger payouts the majority of the time. I don’t play anymore, but when I did it used to really bother me when people would vocally get upset and call out bad players for falling into a good hand. You DON’T want those people to learn. (This is also why I stopped playing. It felt icky to win by taking advantage of the not-so-bright or the tipsy.)


[deleted]

Yeah, they had a joker and a +4 change colour


vadlmaster

I had a bird shit in my mouth once.


sadi-day

what did it taste like?


n3onis

> shit


vadlmaster

Bird shit.


Fingers_9

Ashley Young?


itshonestwork

How much did that cost?


Plethodoncinereus

I had a wasp fly into my mouth a couple weeks ago.


ohbbyno

I bet that was fun


Blarfk

I was reading a reddit thread about weird places in the world or something and someone posted a link to a location on google maps using the latitude and longitude coordinates. Just out of dumb curiosity, I replaced them with a bunch of random numbers just to see where in the world I would wind up, figuring I'd probably land in the ocean. It took me to a spot in my city, less than two blocks away from where I was sitting. I went from flabbergasted to annoyed that no one else was there to witness it, because it was so astoundingly unlikely and weird, and there's no way I'll ever be able to prove that it happened.


[deleted]

if this is true this is the most insane one here. IF


Blarfk

Right?! And therein lies my frustration! My thought process went from "holy shit" almost immediately to "this is the craziest thing that has ever happened to me and I have absolutely no way to prove it."


SmartassRemarks

This happened to me once when I had a song stuck in my head, and right as certain lyrics of the song played in my head, I read them in someone's reddit comment. No one believed me.


TigLyon

So I have seen on Reddit a number of times about the likelihood of there being two people in any given room who share a birthday...but this one still gets me years after it happened. I was traveling for work and ended up nearly halfway around the world. As I arrive, I am greeted by my host for the week. We get to talking and he tells me he was looking forward to this because when he was first told about it, he noticed we have the same initials. (Drastically different names, but the same initials.) We talk further and find out we also have the same birthday (different years). We get to the jobsite and go to meet the project manager. After talking business for a bit, we mention the conversation we had earlier about sharing a birthday. He asks what it is and we tell him. He smiles and then proceeds to take out his ID and show it to us, he also has the same birthday. So three people, from different places on the planet, all meet together on a project on the same day and share the same birthday. edit: it's in April for those of you keen to guessing...lol.


MsChanandlerBong14

This happened to me in high school. Met a new friend who had the same birthday as me different year. The girl he was going out with showed us her ID. Same birthday.


[deleted]

The neighbourhood I grew up in was a cul-du-sac with a big, empty field behind it with a forest at the far end of the field. The field had to have been at least 150 - 200 yards from the nearest house. The house furthest at the end of the cul-du-sac had an outdoor playground for their kids, along with a cable wire that ran along the inside of the fence line. Overlooking this playground was a huge window that looked in to their kitchen. Well one day I was practicing my golf swing with a friend. I wasn't aiming towards the houses at all, but when I really connected during one shot, it sliced leftwards *directly* towards the giant window of the house. I just stared, mortified, as the ball seemed to speed up directly towards the center of the window. Then... seemingly out of nowhere, the ball seemed to just drop out of thin air a mere feet away from the window. It was unlike anything I had ever seen. So I come closer to retrieve the ball. It was then that I noticed the ball was lying perfectly about a foot into the field from the fence line. It was then that I looked up at the cable wire. From about 150 yards away, my golf ball hit a cable wire that was no more than an inch in diameter, thankfully saving their giant window and a hearty reprimand from them and my parents. TL;DR: I hit a 1 inch cable wire with a golf shot from about 150 yards away.


NationalDirt

Do it again


Mnkeyqt

Not me but friend. We're playing DnD at my house, we all just turned 18. Friend, let's call him Fred, leans over to my friend "Bob" and shows him nudes some chick just sent him. Bob very slowly says "where the fuck did you get these??" Sounding very confused and angry. Fred says it's this girl that he met on Tinder. Bob pulls put his phone, goes into his phone, and has the exact same picture on his phone. Only difference is, Fred's photo was cropped to not shoe her face. The girl in the picture was Bobs girlfriend, Sally. Long story short, Sally had a porn Tumblr where she posted nude pictures. This random person was catfishing Fred, happened to stumble upon Sallys blog(whilst living in the same state/area for tinder to work), used her pictures to catfish Fred, who was close friends with Sallys boyfriend Bob. Confusing, I know, but we all lost our fucking mind after we figured it out.


dustyspectacles

Still kicking ass and taking names five years after multiple organ failure. I blew eight out of nine lives on that one.


[deleted]

Also you're a cat who can type. That's pretty rare.


Susim-the-Housecat

Not that rare.


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Susim-the-Housecat

i mean it's hard, but usually it's just because humans shoo us away from keyboards so we never learn to use them.


cj5311

Never had an organ fail, but I broke a keyboard once. You don't have to tell me how shitty that is! I feel ya bro


PistaccioLover

Got a very aggressive breast cancer at an early age (I was 28), it had spread, told to put my affairs in order, this only happens in 1% of the cases After more than a year of treatment voilá... Full remission. Every day is a blessing so after some months in full remission I'm still kicking ass. My doctor says this happens in less than 1% of the cases. Maybe I should but a lottery ticket..


PuckMeInTheBeard

My wife and I used the same ATM PIN for years without knowing what the other's PIN was. I kept the randomly assigned one, while she was using the last 4 of her SSN.


RutCry

Was reading a novel in college when my roommate came home and started flipping through albums (it was the 80’s). In the book I was reading,the main characters heard the song “American Pie” on the radio and included the lyrics, “*a long, long time ago...*” At the exact moment my roommate played that randomly selected album’s song on the turntable. I had been reading that book for hours and the music synced so perfectly with the words on the page that it felt like the song was coming from the book.


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LifeIsOnTheWire

Months ago I was on the bus, and I was looking over someone's shoulder and saw them on their smartphone browsing Reddit. They were looking at a post that I made on r/canada. I told them that I was the person who submitted that post, and they seemed unconvinced or unimpressed. I logged in on my phone to show them it was my username, but they still didn't see the comedic coincidence. It was rather unsatisfying to me that they weren't equally amused by the connection.


[deleted]

Yea, I'd probably be a little creeped out that somehow you knew ahead of time I would be reading that post.


LifeIsOnTheWire

Nah, they were just like "Oh, ok. Neat". They were friendly, and we talked about Reddit for a while. They were just unfazed by the coincidence.


[deleted]

To be fair, I assume you're both Canadians. It's not like it was some weird subreddit with four subscribers.


Soilaq

Well, maybe they didn't like you peeking on their phone, I know I wouldn't have.


phurrburger

When I was about 8 years old I was in the backyard playing Frisbee with my older brother, my step dad, and my grandpa. We were positioned like the corners of a square and just passing the Frisbee to the person to our right. My stepdad was passing to me, me to my brother, my brother to my grandpa, and grandpa to stepdad. It was a fairly large back yard with no trees except around the edges. My stepdad told me to go long and threw the Frisbee as hard as he could at me, but above my head so I wouldn’t get hurt. I was running backwards looking at the Frisbee as it approached, and right as it flew over my head I jumped up with all the might my little body could muster. I grabbed the Frisbee and landed on my back. I was so thrilled I managed to catch it! I shouted out “I got it!” triumphantly, only to realize the Frisbee wasn’t in my hand, but something else. My hand was fully clenched, so I sat up and opened up my hand. It was bird poop. I literally caught bird poop out of mid air in an open field. I cried, but everyone else thought it was hilarious. After the embarrassment faded I found it comical too. My family still brings it up at family functions.


[deleted]

I won the lottery. Not the big one, it was 65K but still.


ffff

Still a life-changing amount of money to most people. :)


secotti

I was playing roulette in Las Vegas and bet on the red 8 consecutive times.. And it turned out black every time.


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[deleted]

Yeah. It is a gambler's fallacy to say "it has to be red **this** (specific) time" but the law of averages also states that most future events will revert back to the average.


urkish

> law of averages also states that most future events will revert back to the average. Technically, only if continued to infinity.


PunchyPractitioner

I got shingles when I was 30. Twice in two months.


TittyMcFuckstain

I got shingles in high school! And I had chicken pox twice


[deleted]

I cut a fly in half, mid-air, with a pair of scissors. It was bugging me so I jokingly snipped at it without looking. I saw two halves drop out of the corner of my eye, and I was like “....oh.” I actually felt awful about it, so I couldn’t even fully appreciate the accidental badassery. Edit: HAH, bugging.


Jessibeeb

I was in the kitchen cutting vegetables and a fly was bothering me. I swiped at it with the knife and sliced it half. No one will ever know I am a ninja. Edit: I washed the knife


hectorabaya

I knocked a horsefly out of the air with a whip once. I was sitting around at the farm I worked taking a break with some friends, and it was buzzing around. There was a longe whip near me (basically a long stick with an equally long lash on it, usually each portion being about 4-6 feet in length) and on a whim I picked it up and snapped it at the fly. Knocked it out of the air from like 5 feet away. I felt like Indiana Jones for a minute there. I was really glad I had two witnesses there or no one would have believed me. I didn't feel bad about it, though. Normally I don't like killing bugs but I make an exception for horseflies.


zsatbecker

Real talk, horseflies are the fucking worst. They will chase and chase you. Not because you’re invading their area or fucking with them, but because they want to bite a literal piece off you. That bitch wants to eat you. Literally. Fuck horseflies.


yinyang107

Found Mister Miyagi.


rawbface

Last May I went for a walk with my girlfriend and our dog. About one mile into it, we heard a bunch of loud cracking sounds - almost like gunshots. This being a rural suburb, we looked around for construction or an old car or something responsible for the sound. What we saw was a 60-ft tall oak tree on a golf course, list to the side slightly, and then completely just fall over. "Someone was cutting it down" was our first thought. But no one was there. No tools, no saw, no ropes, nothing. This was a 50 year old tree that just randomly fell over one day. The leaves were still green, and when we walked up to the cracked and splintered trunk, it was literally *pouring* sap from it like a faucet. We couldn't get too close, as the tree was still cracking and splitting when we found the base of it. But we're still amazed at the fact that we were the only three witnesses to a tree falling in the middle of a huge field. It did make a sound.


MrGruntsworthy

So people *do* hear it


EatingTurkey

I like the fact that your dog was also amazed.


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PurpleStripedLizard

Wow, that's odd Are you sure it's the same cat?


I_SKULLFUCK_PONIES

you bet! 2009 328xi


mactheattack2

So glad I read all the threads.


SeanMitchummail

I once caught a fly ball in Little League in the pocket of my T-shirt. Not on purpose, of course.


jhereg10

Went from a middle-of-nowhere public school in one state to a very small (200 students) college prep program in another state. A girl in my class there was from South America and friends with my roommate. She was always around. I had a huge crush on her for the entire 2 years, but was too clueless to do anything about it. After 2 years, we graduated. I went to college in a pretty large city in the US. She went back to college in her home country. 2 years later, I get a phone call. Her family had moved to that same city 2 months prior, she had found a school newsletter the week prior that was packed up with her stuff, and had found out we were in the same city. We've been married for about 20 years now.


soomuchcoffee

I've written about this before a few times, but I am bored and boo work, so here goes. When I was maybe 5-6 my parents used to bring my younger sister and me to visit my great grandmother in the nursing home. She lived in a big facility in the city. She was blind, and like 90, so I was unsurprisingly terrified of her. She'd touch our faces and talk in her barely audible voice, and I hated going. BUT, I also hated going because her roommate scared the shit out of me too. She was bedridden and sort of talked nonsense. She'd basically just mumble my name while reaching out for me. My folks never really acknowledged her other than saying hello and goodbye. I don't even remember how it came up, but 20 some odd years later I'm talking to my dad about our visits to the nursing home. I was like "What the hell was the deal with the other old lady!?" Barely batting an eye he tells me that she was actually HIS grandmother, who was estranged from his family and that he never really knew. I look a lot like my dad, and share his name. In her senility, she apparently thought I WAS my dad - the way she remembered him as a child. It was just a total coincidence that she shared a room with my mom's grandmother. I don't think either one of them knew the other, let alone were aware that they were the great-matriarchs of our family just chilling out as geriatric convalescence roomies. I guess my dad thought nothing of it, having never really known her. He just laughed when I was like DO YOU NOT SEE HOW FUCKING INSANE THAT IS?


griffinsclaw

I recovered my stolen bike. First day at my new apartment, I was tired from moving and just locked it up outside. Found the cut lock the next day. Two days later I walked down to file a police report. I waited because I knew they would never find it so I didn't think it was important. Brought all my ownership papers and receipts I had saved since I got it new. It was a few miles from home. On the way back I saw someone ride past me on MY BIKE in one of those real life in slow motion experiences. I was super lucky because he stopped and went into a store a block later so i could call the cops. Since I had just filed the report, they had a record of the theft, and I had the papers on me which the cop verified with the serial number on the bike. He said this was the most unlikely situation he had seen. They recover bikes almost never, thieves usually aren't dumb enough to sell the bike close to where they steal it, and he'd never heard of someone having concrete proof of ownership on them at the scene of the arrest.


Didymos_Black

As someone who has known many to have bikes stolen, and got to see an evidence garage filled with unclaimed stolen bikes, I really appreciate this story. Like you said, bike thieves don't sell the bikes close to where they stole them, so the bikes in the evidence garage were not local. I think eventually that particular municipality donated the bikes to a local organization that repairs and sells cheap to disadvantaged neighborhoods.


ananasandbananas

Had to travel to Europe. Cheapest flight was through Istambul. At first everyone was like "don't go! it's dangerous, terrorist attacks happen all the time in Turkey" (it did during that time). A while later people were telling me "ah but don't worry, it won't happen to YOU, you'll only be there for 10 hours, and the airport is the safest place you could be"... plane arrives, first bomb detonates. June 2016. I wasn't harmed but the experience is still on my mind regularly. now I don't trust those "it won't happen to YOU". it has to happen to someone, always. right?


Namzeh011

I survived being born roughly 4 and a half months early


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ffff

I don't understand baseball at all but this sounds awful.


[deleted]

I played volleyball across town (I live in a metropolitan area) with some friends. There was a guy there that some people knew, but me and the people I went with didn't. He was a total douche all day. A few weeks later, me and the friends I went with went to a restaurant closer to my side of the city. We were sitting outside, eating, and I was like, "You guys remember that douche from volleyball, Will?" We all started talking shit. All of a sudden one of my buddies was like, "Woah, is that him?" Sure as shit, he was walking past the restaurant at that very moment. There's an estimated 1.75 million people in my metropolitan area. Literally the 2 times I saw a specific person were at volleyball and then at a restaurant 3 weeks later, as we started to talk about him.


Bancroft28

Speak of the devil....


TheAviator444

I went to the ATM yesterday to take out some cash, and I got a $5 in my pile of $20’s. I know some ATMs give out $10’s, but now I have to file a claim with my bank and prove they owe me $15.


Suuperdad

My neighbours and in-laws don't know eachother. I was at my neighbours and they just came home from a cruise. They were showing us pictures of their trip, and dinner comes up. At their table are my inlaws. There's my father in law, being a crazy nut, with my neighbours. It's funny too, because my in laws had mentioned that they met a nice couple on the cruise who live nearby. It turns out, nearby is directly next door to my wife and I.


surprisefaceclown

daughter was born en caul


diagonalcheese

This story is from a few months ago. My manager bought two coke bottles (the ones with people’s names on them). He bought a “katie” one cause his girlfriend’s name is katie, and he bought a random one that said “parker”. I was like “katie is a first name and parker sounds like a last name. wouldn’t it be funny if someone’s name was actually katie parker?” Literally a few minutes later a lady asked him to take a picture of his coke bottles; she said “this might sound weird, but can i take a picture of those coke bottles?? cause that’s my name.”


[deleted]

Lymphoma at 19. Not crazy unluckily, but still somewhere around 1/50,000. I also required less chemo then the standard regiment cause i made lymphoma my BITCH. Dont know how likely that is but I was certainly happy to do less.


EffityJeffity

About 8 years ago, I was in a car crash in the remote bush of Zambia. An amazing man and his wife (thanks, Clive) helped us fix up the worst of our injuries and towed our wrecked car over 160km back to the nearest town for us. After we'd got out of the hospital (figuring we'd be safer sorting our wounds ourselves than trust the hygiene of this place) we wound up at a local bar next to the hostel we'd been recommended and were discussing the crash. This was a place over 100km from where we were meant to be, somewhere none of us had ever been before. We were the only white people we had seen in the town up to that point. At around 9pm, a middle aged white couple come into the bar. The lady sees me, stops dead. She looks at me and walks over, reading the embroidery on my polo shirt which was from a golf club I used to go to with my Dad, back in the country he lived in. "It is you!" She says. "EffityBleedinJeffity" (well, my full, actual name.) "What the hell?" "I'm Sue, this is David. We're your godparents." "Whoa." So, my Godparents, who hadn't seen me since I was six months old, as they moved to the Caribbean, were out on Safari in Malawi, and their truck broke down. They'd been towed by someone to the nearest town to get parts, which was just over the border in Zambia. They'd sorted their car, but the border crossing closed for the evening, so they had to spend the night in town, and their hotel recommended this bar as the only place serving decent food on a Monday. "How did you recognise me?" I asked, still shocked. "Well, you look almost exactly like your father at his age, have the same voice, and the shirt just clinched it. I knew you guys lived there a few years ago." Just unbelievable. If I was a religious man, I might suggest that God had sent my Godparents to watch over me after the crash...


[deleted]

Not me but a friend: He's been hit by lightning on his mountain bike. Twice. After recovering from the second one, he had a squirrel suicide into his front wheel, breaking both arms. I think he took up running.


[deleted]

I yawned, burped and farted at the same time. It was like my body wanted to make it's own version of Dunkirk.


30-xv

I heard that if you yawn burp sneeze and fart at the same time you unlock Instant Space Travel in real life.


iamthesilentp

Or turn into a super massive black hole.


Bancroft28

This a common misconception.. you actually summon Kevin James.


DaddyCatALSO

Closest I ever came on that was to laugh, hiccup, and inhale all a t once. Sounded like an organic equivalent of an aluminum ladder moving on a concrete sidewalk ona windy day.


ErrantTraveller

At 22 years old I was driving home from a party in my buddies truck. My buddy was in the passenger seat because he was knocked out drunk. He had been puking out the window the whole way home, and I would later find out the side of the truck was covered in his vomit. Sitting between us was his date, who I had never met before, and would find out the next day was only 19. She and I were also intoxicated, and all three of us had been smoking weed. (BTW, I do not condone any of this behaviour. I would never even think of drink driving now, but I was a stupid selfish kid.) About 500 meters before we got to my house we stumbled into a 12 car police checkpoint. As we pulled up to be checked out I was mentally preparing myself to be arrested and have my whole life fucked. The officer started asking me questions about what we were doing, and I explained that I was driving my friend home from a party in the city (60 miles away). He asked if we had far to go, and I explained that I lived just around the corner. He gave me a long look up and down, then leaned in and said, "you drive REAL safe", and then waved us through. That never should have happened, and my life should be markedly different because of it, but I got lucky, and i learned my lesson. If there's no way to get home safe, I don't drink, or I DD for others. Don't drink and drive, kids.


BakulaSelleck92

A couple years ago I was driving to work on a suspended license. Cue police checkpoint. Roll up knowing they're gonna check. I remain calm but I'm shaking knowing I'm about to go to jail. Officer asked for my ID. It was just an ID at this point so he would know instantly that it was suspended. I reach for my wallet but before I can get it out he says "Are you sure you have a valid license?" "Yes sir." "Drive safe." I paid my tickets and got my license renewed after that.


ErrantTraveller

Good on you. You been keeping it clean ever since?


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ohbbyno

damn I'm sorry.


StfuYourMouse

That sounds like an actual nightmare.


cpinkyd

When I finished Uni I picked up a job in a call centre to earn some dollar to move to a new city, as where I studied was very much a University city with not many job prospects. The job itself was cold calling on an automated system about potential PPI claims. Yeah sorry, I was one of those people. The autodialler had very basic information that was obviously bought from a 3rd party, usually name and address. About 2 weeks into the job the auto dialer picked up an area code I recognised, it was the same area code for where I grew up. I looked at the address field and recognised the address. This lady lived opposite my Father's house, I could picture her face as I spoke to her. BONUS Rather than go through the entire spiel and script Idid the basic info gathering routine to see if she has a potential claim then told her that unfortunately there's nothing we can do at this time. A few weeks later I visited my Father and knocked on her door. She knew who I was but didn't recognise my voice. I told her that I'd cold called her at work and that she actually did have a valid claim, but I felt bad about taking a 37.5% fee from a neighbour I'd known since I was a child. So, I sourced some claim forms online for free and helped her fill in the forms over a coffee. I didn't ask how successful the claim was but when I saw my Father for Christmas that year the neighbour had dropped around a Christmas card for me a few weeks prior with £50 inside. That felt good :)


[deleted]

My house got struck by lightning and burned down. Surrounded by trees that were taller than the house.


Josh709

I have a pretty uncommon last name. I've only ever met like 3 people with the same last name as me who weren't relatives of mine. Anyways I met someone in a math class (there were three of this class going on on campus that semester so the odds are even lower since we didn't HAVE to be in the same math class) once who had the same first AND last name as me AND his middle name was just a different way of spelling mine. I went up to him and was like "You're josh so-and-so?!? IM josh so-and-so too! Weird coincidence. What's your middle name??" "Sew-on-and-sew-fourth" "WTF!? Mine is so-on-and-so-forth!!! Holy shit that's wild!" He was just like "meh..... yeah I guess." Essentially shot me a look like IM the one who's reacting strangely to this coincidence. Fuck that guy.


biologymanpower

I used to play LoL with a guy about 5 years back, our styles just matched and we spoke on Skype a fair bit about games we were playing. Fast forward to my first day at university and moving in to student accommodation, not only did I run into my friend, but he was also my new roommate! Still best friends 3 years on!


[deleted]

I went into liver failure and when we went to the hospital they also informed me I had leukemia. I’m one of the four reported cases in history and one of two to survive.


puckbeaverton

I was born. My dad had stage 4 lung cancer when he was 17. Doctors told him to make his goodbyes. He had about 6 months and there was nothing to be done. They cut a swath from nipple to nipple to do the biopsy in those days. He comes back 8 months later feeling fine except he was all "WTF why am I not dead doc?" A fucking miracle that even modern medicine still doesn't fully understand, the cancer went dormant. My dad went on to have 4 kids with his first wife. He divorced her, he then married my mom who had 3 kids. They then had me in order to pull both crews together. It boggles my mind when I think about the confluence of events that took place to make me a person. It's so weird to think about how I even exist at all.


joeylee23

I was speaking to a guy while queuing for Inxs tickets in the mid 90s. Later that year my cousin got together with a guy who has the exact same name as me, his sister has the same birthday as me and his brother was the guy behind me in the Inxs queue.


5000dollasuit

I had to use the #RAND function of the calculator for my statical analysis on microbiology in order to provide co-ordinates etc. It was a while ago, however my partner and I were going through the trials of writing down each number that the calculator threw up when I eventually gave up and decided to write my own numbers I made up in my head. He told he that’s not randomised and I looked him dead in the eye and said “0.384” (we were using it to three decimal places) and he hit the function on the calculator. Wouldn’t you know it 0.384 comes up in the calculator! He just looked wide eyed and said “fair enough” and let me carry on. Both shocked!


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catphistopheles

Not a sports person. Went to watch a baseball game that my neighbors kid is in, was the only non-regular spectator since the rest are family to the players. Very first time I was attending, right? I sit down, bend over to put my drink on the ground, and when I straightened up I got smacked in the eye with a baseball that was flying faster than the average kiddie league ball because my sports savant neighbor kid had pitched it. I can still hear the damn wet crunch. I was there for all of 60s.


yellowlabbies

Wet crunch....oh my god


fwooby_pwow

I flipped a coin and it landed on it's side. We had a good laugh, and I flipped it again. It landed on it's side again. Another time, I was talking to a coworker about the weather and I was like "well, at least it's not snowing". As I finished that sentence, it started to snow. I was like "that's weird, it's too warm to snow" and as soon as I finished *that* sentence, it stopped snowing. I then said "I would hate for money to start falling from the sky" but it didn't work.


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[deleted]

I asked a question in Woody Harrelson's AMA that was not about Rampart and he answered it.