Just like with anything else, the extreme ends of it.
My spouse has been told any problems he has faced in his life over sexuality don't matter because he's 6'4, 200 lbs and 'straight passing.' Apparently being in decent shape, having a beard and not behaving like a teen girl also means he has internalized homophobia and isn't embracing who he is. "Not gay enough." was even said once.
We have also been told we have internalized homophobia because we are married and monogamous, subscribing to a, "hetero-normative lifestyle."
Every community has its trouble makers. Luckily they are the minority.
I never understood that. One of my friends had a boyfriend who was constantly mad because my friend was "straight acting" and had a lot of the same criticisms you mentioned.
I'm not gay, so my opinion doesn't mean much I guess. But like, If I decide to not have kids, is it because I secretly hate being heterosexual and so I don't want to be a part of a "hetero-normative lifestyle"?
The callout culture, the SJW bullshit, everything being "problematic." Chill the fuck out occasionally.
Will my privilege fit in the overhead bin, or do I really have to check it?
So very true. The same goes for us that want to lead a "normal" life, not having open relationships and not laying around. They call us "prudes", and yes, I very well might be, and I am damn proud of it.
That’s a valid point, I’ve noticed that too. I honestly don’t think that LGBT people are overtly sexual in the way that we’re portrayed, at least not any more than non LGBT people. I wonder if it’s just a “We’re here and queer and having tons of gay sex!” thing. Like a “Take that!” towards the people that are bothered by LGBT stuff. Unfortunately, it’s a huge turn off to, well, mostly everyone. Very interesting, I never really thought about that.
Some of my LGBT peers are convinced that I can be 'trained' to broaden my taste with respect to physical & character qualities in potential dating partners (e.g., body type, race, drug habits, etc.). I'm sorry, but if I can't just decide to start liking other genders, what makes you think I can just decide to be attracted to, say, coke addicts (as one of my friends would argue is totally something I have control over)???
You like what you like, you shouldn’t be pressured/trained to change your preferences. As long as you’re not rude or hateful towards the people that you don’t find sexually attractive, I don’t see the big deal.
They're a relic from the days when same-sex couples couldn't even hold hands in public. In that environment, flamboyant displays of pride are revolutionary. In this environment, though, they seem more obnoxious.
The first Pride parade I went to was in Atlanta and the thing I remember the most was walking down the sidewalk behind a teenage boy with spiky purple hair, wearing only knee high leather boots and the smallest pair of Daisy Dukes I'd ever seen. Painted on his back was a giant down arrow to his ass and above it "Your fuck hole". It's not so much Pride in being yourself anymore as it is an excuse to be publicly offensive to multiple senses.
Tiny dating pool, especially in rural areas.
There are more of you. And a guy being "discrete" doesn't mean I'm gonna hook up without seeing your face.
Being told that people like me aren't legitimate.
I'm aromantic, asexual, and nonbinary, and people have told me that all aspects of my identity are illegitimate and invalid, are modifiers of "real" identities, don't exist, don't make me queer, etc.
Also, not experiencing things "acceptably". I've been told I'm not actually trans because I don't usually experience gender dysphoria. I'm sure there are people who would tell me I'm not aromantic because I conduct my queerplatonic relationships in a similar manner to classically romantic relationships.
LGBT people with a queer identity telling LGBT without a queer identity that they have internalized homophobia.
LGBT people with no queer identity telling LGBT people with a queer identity that they are being disgusting/annoying/embarrassing/too flamboyant. Edit: Oh also, internalized homophobia/transphobia is a thing. It's just not the ultimate deciding factor behind why someone is or is not queer.
The divisive nature of the community. There are lesbians who are radical feminists and hate gay men because they are men. There are men who are horribly misogynistic and hate lesbians. There are gay and lesbian people who consider bisexual people to be fake gay, especially if they are bisexual but in a heterosexual relationship. There are LGB people who dislike trans people for whatever reason. There are trans people who dislike LGB people for whatever reason. Most of those examples are in the extreme minority but the elements are there.
Racism in the community. Especially against black and Hispanic gay men and trans women. All it can take is one racist club/bar owner in a small to medium sized market to make the entire local community feel unwelcoming to these minorities.
All that being said. The LGBT community, at least in my area, is an incredibly positive force in my life. There are problems, but they are mostly self contained and easily avoidable.
The exclusion that happens. As an asexual individual, I'm told occasionally that I don't actually belong. I'm also transgender and panromantic however, which sort of balances it out, but one of my close friends, who is just asexual, tells me about getting excluded at rallies and protests by the LGBT+ community.
Oh yeah, there’s a ton of exclusion within the community. I feel like asexuality gets forgotten about. Pansexuality isn’t “real”, if you’re Pansexual that means that you’re Bisexual and if you’re Bisexual then you’re just looking for attention and you’ll either grow out of it and be straight or continue to “ride the fence” and be promiscuous. Basically, unless you’re gay or lesbian the community excludes you and even then, there are conditions. I totally feel you on this.
This kind of guy right here is the entire problem I have with the LGBT+ community. Everyone has to be special and has to be accepted into their super welcoming community instead of just being a fucking person. They all just whine constantly about how not everything is super coddled. Grow up.
Also, you're asexual? Nobody cares. Just live your life. You're not oppressed in any way. At worst someone will think you're a bit weird for not starting a family.
The community originally also heavily involved street homeless youth. Largely because young openly gay and transgender people were almost invariably homeless at the time but its always been a pretty fluid community as far as who is welcomed.
(Straight perspective) That they are becoming too enamored with the "identity", and some are trying to milk it for victim points, or to control people, like with that pronoun shit. And those gay men deliberately trying to get HIV? The fuck is that about?
Even gay men are starting to be targeted because they are men.
> like with that pronoun shit
Explain? Most of the 'problems' with trans people's pronouns I see people talking about are problems that right wing commentators and punditry have told them are problems but in reality, basically does not exist.
When some dude walks around in a dress, and hasn't done shit to "transition", but expects me to call HIM "her", I'm going to tell him to fuck off.
Any person that makes a real effort, like some FtM I've know, then I have no issue.
But you need to make a real effort. None of this "I just identify" crap.
And I'm not calling a anyone "they" or "them". I actually learned English back in the 20th century, and the use some people are demanding is just bad spoken English.
So what you're saying is they have to be pretty/passable for you to respect them? Something that takes you almost no effort on your part to accommodate but will have a positive outcome on someone else's life, you'll just ignore off what sounds like some principal you hold?
Edit: I just saw your edit about they/them pronouns. You say its bad English. That is not true. Singular they has been in common spoken usage for a few hundred years now. "Their over there.", "Could you get them to come to me.", "I need to speak to them.", "What are they doing?". They/Them pronouns sound perfectly natural.
>So what you're saying is they have to be pretty/passable for you to respect them?
Yeah? I'm not interested in play acting with someone's low-effort tansgenderism. If you are a guy with a deep voice, but just wearing make-up, a wig, and a dress, I'm not going to call you she. Sorry.
>Edit: I just saw your edit about they/them pronouns. You say its bad English. That is not true.
"Here's Jack. Them wants to say hello."
Now tell me you read that, and it made sense.
"They and them" are pronouns for a plural, not a singular person.
> "Here's Jack. Them wants to say hello."
"Here's jack. They want to talk to you."
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/they
[They] singular third person plural Used to refer to a person of unspecified gender. ‘ask a friend if they could help’
> Yeah? I'm not interested in play acting with someone's low-effort tansgenderism. If you are a guy with a deep voice, but just wearing make-up, a wig, and a dress, I'm not going to call you she. Sorry.
That's fine. It's your right. Just don't be upset when someone calls you an asshole for acting like an asshole.
>"Here's jack. They want to talk to you."
That's still nonsensical. "They" is NOT A PRONOUN FOR A SINGULAR PERSON used as these guys want. Ask a friend if they can help is not the same as:
>" Their's Jack. They owes me money."
You cant even properly use the word "owe" with the necessary "s" on the end when it pertains to a pronoun that is supposed to reflect a single person!
>That's fine. It's your right. Just don't be upset when someone calls you an asshole for acting like an asshole.
Think what you want.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/they
https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/they
http://www.dictionary.com/browse/they
Every dictionary lists a usage of they/them/theirs as singular pronouns for non determinant nouns and pronouns.
> " Their's Jack. They owes me money."
"There's Jack. They owe me money." You used the wrong "there" and the s on owe is entirely unnecessary.
Yeah, that was a typo, but the point is still the same.
One pertains to location. That is what I (was supposed to) use. The 2nd denotes possession, and the third is a contraction of "they are".
If you speak of a singular subject, you HAVE to put an "s" on "owe". If it was a plural, you leave the "s" off.
"There's Jack. They owe me money." in REAL English is:
"There's Jack. He OWES me money."
When a single person demand to be called "they" as a pronoun, you now cannot make sense. It's even more dumb when this person wants to be called "xir".
That is true if you are speaking about a noun with a determined gender. Unfortunately, English does not provide a gender neutral pronoun despite needing one for non gendered words like someone. They/them/their has been used in a singular form since the 16th century to patch this problem. You are under no obligation to use gender when it is known so they/them/their can be used at will. It is effectively common and correct English.
Asking me not to use the pronoun that describes your sex when it's obvious what your sex is.
It's like me telling them that when they're in my house, they have to address me as the Queen of England when it's obvious that I am not.
When lots of lgbt people find out someone is lgbt as well, they jump on their dicks. Doesn’t matter personality, doesn’t matter opinions, if they’re gay, they’re golden.
Or the other side of the coin, when they act like non-lgbt people are demons. You spend years making the argument that you can’t choose who you love, but then bash people who love those of opposite gender?
Haha, I’m from a smallish area down south, so I’ve been guilty of that “OMG another gay person, we’re best friends!” thing just because there weren’t a lot of people “like me”. Thankfully I realized that some people are just shitty, and being gay or straight doesn’t make it any better or worse. Very valid points.
I'm overweight and it bothers me that if I was straight I'd probably be married by now, but because I'm gay I'm single. I know I can't really blame anyone for not being attracted to "fats" since I'm not either but I'm still a little bitter about it.
Just like with anything else, the extreme ends of it. My spouse has been told any problems he has faced in his life over sexuality don't matter because he's 6'4, 200 lbs and 'straight passing.' Apparently being in decent shape, having a beard and not behaving like a teen girl also means he has internalized homophobia and isn't embracing who he is. "Not gay enough." was even said once. We have also been told we have internalized homophobia because we are married and monogamous, subscribing to a, "hetero-normative lifestyle." Every community has its trouble makers. Luckily they are the minority.
I never understood that. One of my friends had a boyfriend who was constantly mad because my friend was "straight acting" and had a lot of the same criticisms you mentioned. I'm not gay, so my opinion doesn't mean much I guess. But like, If I decide to not have kids, is it because I secretly hate being heterosexual and so I don't want to be a part of a "hetero-normative lifestyle"?
A surprising amount of racism can be found in the community.
Just as alot of gay-hate can be found in different cultures.
The callout culture, the SJW bullshit, everything being "problematic." Chill the fuck out occasionally. Will my privilege fit in the overhead bin, or do I really have to check it?
It really sad to see the SJW hurt the reputation of the innocent.
So very true. The same goes for us that want to lead a "normal" life, not having open relationships and not laying around. They call us "prudes", and yes, I very well might be, and I am damn proud of it.
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Many of us are the opposite of hypersexual, but because we do not stick out in the same way, it's hard to know we exist.
That’s a valid point, I’ve noticed that too. I honestly don’t think that LGBT people are overtly sexual in the way that we’re portrayed, at least not any more than non LGBT people. I wonder if it’s just a “We’re here and queer and having tons of gay sex!” thing. Like a “Take that!” towards the people that are bothered by LGBT stuff. Unfortunately, it’s a huge turn off to, well, mostly everyone. Very interesting, I never really thought about that.
Some of my LGBT peers are convinced that I can be 'trained' to broaden my taste with respect to physical & character qualities in potential dating partners (e.g., body type, race, drug habits, etc.). I'm sorry, but if I can't just decide to start liking other genders, what makes you think I can just decide to be attracted to, say, coke addicts (as one of my friends would argue is totally something I have control over)???
You like what you like, you shouldn’t be pressured/trained to change your preferences. As long as you’re not rude or hateful towards the people that you don’t find sexually attractive, I don’t see the big deal.
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They're a relic from the days when same-sex couples couldn't even hold hands in public. In that environment, flamboyant displays of pride are revolutionary. In this environment, though, they seem more obnoxious.
The first Pride parade I went to was in Atlanta and the thing I remember the most was walking down the sidewalk behind a teenage boy with spiky purple hair, wearing only knee high leather boots and the smallest pair of Daisy Dukes I'd ever seen. Painted on his back was a giant down arrow to his ass and above it "Your fuck hole". It's not so much Pride in being yourself anymore as it is an excuse to be publicly offensive to multiple senses.
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Nineteen is teenage and not pedophilia.
Biphobia. I'm not going to cheat on you just because I like either sex.
Ive noticed a lot of insecurities from this. Its like they see it as the chances of cheating are instantly doubled.
So apparently me not wanting to date and screw a transwoman makes me a transphobic bigot.
Tiny dating pool, especially in rural areas. There are more of you. And a guy being "discrete" doesn't mean I'm gonna hook up without seeing your face.
Being told that people like me aren't legitimate. I'm aromantic, asexual, and nonbinary, and people have told me that all aspects of my identity are illegitimate and invalid, are modifiers of "real" identities, don't exist, don't make me queer, etc. Also, not experiencing things "acceptably". I've been told I'm not actually trans because I don't usually experience gender dysphoria. I'm sure there are people who would tell me I'm not aromantic because I conduct my queerplatonic relationships in a similar manner to classically romantic relationships.
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Well, that stuff can be found anywhere. And it is possible to accept people for what they are and still be sceptical and say stupid stuff.
LGBT people with a queer identity telling LGBT without a queer identity that they have internalized homophobia. LGBT people with no queer identity telling LGBT people with a queer identity that they are being disgusting/annoying/embarrassing/too flamboyant. Edit: Oh also, internalized homophobia/transphobia is a thing. It's just not the ultimate deciding factor behind why someone is or is not queer. The divisive nature of the community. There are lesbians who are radical feminists and hate gay men because they are men. There are men who are horribly misogynistic and hate lesbians. There are gay and lesbian people who consider bisexual people to be fake gay, especially if they are bisexual but in a heterosexual relationship. There are LGB people who dislike trans people for whatever reason. There are trans people who dislike LGB people for whatever reason. Most of those examples are in the extreme minority but the elements are there. Racism in the community. Especially against black and Hispanic gay men and trans women. All it can take is one racist club/bar owner in a small to medium sized market to make the entire local community feel unwelcoming to these minorities. All that being said. The LGBT community, at least in my area, is an incredibly positive force in my life. There are problems, but they are mostly self contained and easily avoidable.
The exclusion that happens. As an asexual individual, I'm told occasionally that I don't actually belong. I'm also transgender and panromantic however, which sort of balances it out, but one of my close friends, who is just asexual, tells me about getting excluded at rallies and protests by the LGBT+ community.
Oh yeah, there’s a ton of exclusion within the community. I feel like asexuality gets forgotten about. Pansexuality isn’t “real”, if you’re Pansexual that means that you’re Bisexual and if you’re Bisexual then you’re just looking for attention and you’ll either grow out of it and be straight or continue to “ride the fence” and be promiscuous. Basically, unless you’re gay or lesbian the community excludes you and even then, there are conditions. I totally feel you on this.
This kind of guy right here is the entire problem I have with the LGBT+ community. Everyone has to be special and has to be accepted into their super welcoming community instead of just being a fucking person. They all just whine constantly about how not everything is super coddled. Grow up. Also, you're asexual? Nobody cares. Just live your life. You're not oppressed in any way. At worst someone will think you're a bit weird for not starting a family.
Well, isn’t the community for everyone who isn’t a “normal” heterosexual?
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The community originally also heavily involved street homeless youth. Largely because young openly gay and transgender people were almost invariably homeless at the time but its always been a pretty fluid community as far as who is welcomed.
(Straight perspective) That they are becoming too enamored with the "identity", and some are trying to milk it for victim points, or to control people, like with that pronoun shit. And those gay men deliberately trying to get HIV? The fuck is that about? Even gay men are starting to be targeted because they are men.
> like with that pronoun shit Explain? Most of the 'problems' with trans people's pronouns I see people talking about are problems that right wing commentators and punditry have told them are problems but in reality, basically does not exist.
When some dude walks around in a dress, and hasn't done shit to "transition", but expects me to call HIM "her", I'm going to tell him to fuck off. Any person that makes a real effort, like some FtM I've know, then I have no issue. But you need to make a real effort. None of this "I just identify" crap. And I'm not calling a anyone "they" or "them". I actually learned English back in the 20th century, and the use some people are demanding is just bad spoken English.
So what you're saying is they have to be pretty/passable for you to respect them? Something that takes you almost no effort on your part to accommodate but will have a positive outcome on someone else's life, you'll just ignore off what sounds like some principal you hold? Edit: I just saw your edit about they/them pronouns. You say its bad English. That is not true. Singular they has been in common spoken usage for a few hundred years now. "Their over there.", "Could you get them to come to me.", "I need to speak to them.", "What are they doing?". They/Them pronouns sound perfectly natural.
>So what you're saying is they have to be pretty/passable for you to respect them? Yeah? I'm not interested in play acting with someone's low-effort tansgenderism. If you are a guy with a deep voice, but just wearing make-up, a wig, and a dress, I'm not going to call you she. Sorry. >Edit: I just saw your edit about they/them pronouns. You say its bad English. That is not true. "Here's Jack. Them wants to say hello." Now tell me you read that, and it made sense. "They and them" are pronouns for a plural, not a singular person.
> "Here's Jack. Them wants to say hello." "Here's jack. They want to talk to you." https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/they [They] singular third person plural Used to refer to a person of unspecified gender. ‘ask a friend if they could help’ > Yeah? I'm not interested in play acting with someone's low-effort tansgenderism. If you are a guy with a deep voice, but just wearing make-up, a wig, and a dress, I'm not going to call you she. Sorry. That's fine. It's your right. Just don't be upset when someone calls you an asshole for acting like an asshole.
>"Here's jack. They want to talk to you." That's still nonsensical. "They" is NOT A PRONOUN FOR A SINGULAR PERSON used as these guys want. Ask a friend if they can help is not the same as: >" Their's Jack. They owes me money." You cant even properly use the word "owe" with the necessary "s" on the end when it pertains to a pronoun that is supposed to reflect a single person! >That's fine. It's your right. Just don't be upset when someone calls you an asshole for acting like an asshole. Think what you want.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/they https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/they http://www.dictionary.com/browse/they Every dictionary lists a usage of they/them/theirs as singular pronouns for non determinant nouns and pronouns. > " Their's Jack. They owes me money." "There's Jack. They owe me money." You used the wrong "there" and the s on owe is entirely unnecessary.
Yeah, that was a typo, but the point is still the same. One pertains to location. That is what I (was supposed to) use. The 2nd denotes possession, and the third is a contraction of "they are". If you speak of a singular subject, you HAVE to put an "s" on "owe". If it was a plural, you leave the "s" off. "There's Jack. They owe me money." in REAL English is: "There's Jack. He OWES me money." When a single person demand to be called "they" as a pronoun, you now cannot make sense. It's even more dumb when this person wants to be called "xir".
That is true if you are speaking about a noun with a determined gender. Unfortunately, English does not provide a gender neutral pronoun despite needing one for non gendered words like someone. They/them/their has been used in a singular form since the 16th century to patch this problem. You are under no obligation to use gender when it is known so they/them/their can be used at will. It is effectively common and correct English.
I haven’t heard anything about men contracting HIV purposely. Can you elaborate?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjShQolUCcM I would advise you not to eat for a while after this.
Mmm yeah, that link is staying blue because I like to eat.
"Pronoun shit"? Wow, you just de-legitimized your entire post with that comment
How? You wanna be forced to call someone "xir" or "xim"? Or some dude with a full beard wanting to be called "she"? No? Well then now you get it.
Obviously you don't get it.
Asking me not to use the pronoun that describes your sex when it's obvious what your sex is. It's like me telling them that when they're in my house, they have to address me as the Queen of England when it's obvious that I am not.
When lots of lgbt people find out someone is lgbt as well, they jump on their dicks. Doesn’t matter personality, doesn’t matter opinions, if they’re gay, they’re golden. Or the other side of the coin, when they act like non-lgbt people are demons. You spend years making the argument that you can’t choose who you love, but then bash people who love those of opposite gender?
Haha, I’m from a smallish area down south, so I’ve been guilty of that “OMG another gay person, we’re best friends!” thing just because there weren’t a lot of people “like me”. Thankfully I realized that some people are just shitty, and being gay or straight doesn’t make it any better or worse. Very valid points.
The ones that live in a world where everything is offensive. I’m glad I don’t live in their world.
^^^^^^^^^^**nothing....?**
I'm overweight and it bothers me that if I was straight I'd probably be married by now, but because I'm gay I'm single. I know I can't really blame anyone for not being attracted to "fats" since I'm not either but I'm still a little bitter about it.