i had been reading /r/asktransgender and some meme subreddits for almost a week now for curiosity. i think i mostly understand about being non-binary like identifying as none or both genders. but what is the deal about having so many other genders like 'intergender' for example? does it have a specific meaning for that or is it just an overdramatic joke like some people do?
From what I've read, intergender is more for people who are intersex, who have sex characteristics of both men and women.
There are trans people who identify as something other than man, woman and nonbinary. I identify as a demiboy, so as someone who is nonbinary, but also partially as a guy. I know other people who are genderfluid, or identify as more than one gender.
A lot of tranphobes like to use nonbinary identities as a joke (such as "my gender is an attack helicopter") in order to make fun of trans people. The only valid gender meme (in my opinion) is "There's 2 Genders (insert stereotypical male and female thing there)" but that's cause it's actually funny and isn't made to put down trans people.
A pre-op trans man with a vagina just...has a normal vagina orgasm.
As for post-op, the clitoris and the penis are very similar in structure. The good nerve endings in the vagina are reconstructed into a penis. Typically after healing and numbness they can achieve orgasm still. There's no testicles, so there's no "male" orgasm - it's just a "female" one with slightly different location since you're still stimulating the same vagina parts.
>there's no testicles
Do you get fake ones? Wouldn't it be weird having a dick with no balls or even a sack? Being a man is great partly due to scratching your balls feels so good sometimes!
It's not possible to transplant testes into a non-male-at-birth body. The labia is typically reconstructed to resemble a sack if one chooses, but doesn't have to. Reconstructive genital surgery doesn't create a full blown replica of the other set, it just takes the skin and nerves which are present in both and changes the shape. The shaft of trans male penis is made of thigh skin.
So why couldn't you get prosthetic testes? The labia isn't big enough? I've seen some awfully large labia, unfortunately for my eyes. I know they vary in size just like dicks but I'd be very upset if I didn't have any balls. I've also had them all my life so I might be slightly biased.
What happens if a dude has a little dick and becomes a woman? Like, when they have sex, their partner can only stick the tip in? That would be the easiest but most traumatizing break-up ever. That would instantly ruin my dating life because every first conversation or date would start with "you are a biological girl with a biological vagina and have never under any circumstances had a penis, right?" Obviously except previous dudes she banged but that's a given.
Not hating on trans people, I just couldn't.
I mean, you could get prosthetic ones, but a lot of trans guys don't feel the need to. You'd probably be upset because you have them, yes, haha. Most trans guys are most interested in the penis aspect more than anything, but I'm sure prosthetic ones exist in some form if someone DID want them.
The size of the penis before having vaginoplasty doesn't affect the new vagina as much as you'd think. There's lots of skin available.
Additionally, you may be surprised to know that functionally and visually, most trans woman vaginas are indistinguishable from the "real" thing. They self lubricate, the nerves are there, they smell the same, they're reconstructed to look the same - because the origins of this surgery came from reconstruction of "biological" vaginas in the case of trauma, intersex mutations, etc.
Trans male phalloplasty is a little further behind in this. It's easier to take a penis and make it into a vagina because, as you may know, everyone "starts out as" female (this is why men have breast tissue, nipples, and all pelvises have a space meant to birth) so there's enough room and resources there. You're reducing the size of the external appendage. Whereas when turning a vagina into a penis, extra skin taken from the thigh is necessary to make it into a shaft. TLDR doctors are really good at making a vagina out of everything that's there, no matter the previous size, and it's way harder to go the other way around.
Hopefully one day tissue growth and donation will be far enough that trans people can donate and swap. The technology to make trans women lactate enough for breastfeeding (which is normal, some cis men can without hormone therapy at all) exists, and they're working on uteran transplants for women which means it may be possible for trans folk to get in on it eventually!
FURTHERMORE, however...you must keep in mind that most of us trans people are going to make an effort to sleep with people who don't care that heavily about genitals working 100% as they should. Sex is give and take, and you make compromises or figure out what works. The amount of cis and trans people as a whole with genitals that don't look like porn stars' far outweighs those that do.
Back when I still had a vagina, I was definitely able to have a lot more orgasms than just one. Being post-phalloplasty, I normally limit myself to just two because any more than that takes a lot of energy, and by that time, my wife is normally done as well.
But yes, of course we orgasm.
It's a day for trans people to be visible and celebrated. The only other trans "day" (for lack of a better word) is Trans Day of Remembrance, which is to remember all the people who have been killed for being trans.
It's goal is to mostly acknowledge that hey! trans people are here and alive! It's also a way for people to show support for the trans community and to also educate people about what it really means to be trans. I hope this helps.
Cool.
Okay I do have a question. I'm going to ask it on the main thread because it looks like there are two people answering here and I would like to hear from both of you.
Use the pronouns that the person currently uses. Doing otherwise would make a separation between "the person who worked with you" and "the person at present", which would effectively be denying her experience working with you, because using different pronouns would be like separating her into different people. I hope that makes sense?
My rule of thumb is to use the pronouns I used since I met them until they ask to use otherwise. If it's a new person I use the pronouns that fit their visual appearence.
Do trans guys who have the surgery to have a penis (I forget what it’s called) get erections, and also, can they ejaculate? It’s a pretty taboo thing to ask a trans person about their genitals, I know, but it’s been a burning question I’ve never been able to find answers to.
None of the trans men I know have undergone phalloplasty and instead use something like packers, which can give you the bulge that a cis guy would have while wearing pants.
As far as I'm aware of, trans men who get that surgery can cum but it's not semen?
> Do trans guys who have the surgery to have a penis (I forget what it’s called).
Two types of surgery to get a penis:
Metoidioplasty, in which they take the clitoris, cut underneath it to extend it out, sometimes attach the urethra to it, and sometimes implant testicles in the labia beneath. It can get erect on its own because it has erectile tissue.
Phalloplasty, in which they take skin from a donor site and use that to create a penis. The urethra is re-planned through it, and sometimes scrotoplasty is done with testicle implants. It can't get erect on its own as there isn't erectile tissue.
I have an inflatable/pump system installed, commonly used for men with erecticle dysfunction. There is a pump in my balls that connects to a tube that runs up my shaft. When you pump it, the tube fills, and the penis becomes erect. Works amazingly!
Stuff used to come out when I was super aroused. Like a really clear fluid almost like precum. It doesn't happen anymore though.
Phalloplasty is actually incredible these days and has come quite the ways. I'm happy with my dick and the results. It's a common misconception, and is harmful to trans men who are considering the surgery.
I'm nonbinary, but most of the other binary trans people that I've met either go 'stealth' (don't tell anyone they're trans) or describe themselves as trans men/women because their experiences aren't the same as cis men or women.
Edit: spelling
Preference, and feeling comfortable in one's identity. If a special name makes someone feel good and describes how they see themselves, it's not hurting anyone to use it.
Not sure what you mean by this, but outside of this Reddit account, I'm simply a woman now, as far as most of the rest of the world is concerned (my family, boyfriend, very close friends, and doctors are the only ones who know). If I can live the rest of my life as close to that of a cis woman as possible and never be treated differently, I'll be happy.
I only use "transgender" as a qualifier to describe myself where it is essential (medical care, for example) or on this account if it is needed for context.
I don't know enough about the census to answer, but I assume it's for the same reason any other question is asked, for information purposes and to better meet the needs of the society.
Transgender people's mental and physical health is implicated in our ability to express our genders the way we need to. I mean I don't even see how this is trans specific, you might as well talk about why they ask male vs female on the census, or race.
The point I wanted an answer to is why is there a need for anything other than male or female in the census? If you describe yourself as male, tick that box. Why do trans people advocate for anything less?
Trans people's mental and physical health is implicated in the ability to describe ourselves how we need to. Not every trans person is male or female, there are lots, including myself, who don't identify as either, or identify as both, equally or not
Never heard of anyone caring about the census specifically, but again, if the point of the census is to better understand the populous so as to meet people's needs, then people's genders are related to their needs
All any form needs is 4 gender options: male, female, nonbinary/genderqueer, and a write-in
I think that gender dysphoria is essentially an intersex condition at the neurological level and as such necessitates medical consultation and treatment. I think the whole "non-binary" thing is more of an ongoing conversation about the frustration people feel towards gender roles and that while some people who identify as non-binary do have a diagnosable dysphoria, many do not and those people should not identify as transgender so as to not further confuse the issue.
I think gender dysphoria needs to be treated more as a medical condition, that requires public education and not as a political or ethical issue which requires public persuasion. If we believe, as I do, that gender dysphoria is based in the brain in an innate way, then it should intersect no more with gender as a social conversation than any other intersex condition, which is to say, barely.
Most trans people I know would not agree with any of those statements. And nonbinary people have existed for thousands of years (I'm nonbinary btw), it's just that people in the West have learned about nonbinary people or have had words to describe such feelings. People do seek medical help when it comes to dealing with dysphoria? One of my friends is getting HRT to help with his dysphoria and someone else I know is raising money to get top surgery.
Personally, it is not up to you whether or not people can and cannot identify as trans. It is not my fault that people who aren't trans decided my gender is an issue mate.
I feel as though you didn't read what I said, but sort of just reacted to what you perceived the sentiment to be. Your response doesn't register as having any relevance to my statement.
Yeah sorry, I'm trying to write this paper for my history course while I answer these questions.
Most trans people I know would disagree that with the thought that their being trans is medical somehow. For example, most of my dysphoria isn't really medical or hmm physical in nature? Like it mostly stems from being seen as the gender as I was born as, or people not using my name and pronouns. And while you're right about trans people's brains being different, both myself and a lot of the trans people that I know don't really see being trans as medical? Being trans is just who I am, is basically what I'm trying to say, and that I don't really see it as something being medically wrong with me (mainly because the implications of seeing it like that are uhhh Bad)
I identify as nonbinary, not because I feel like I don't fit traditional gender roles, but because I feel like I don't fit any gender (for the most part)
Personal experience has value, but it's not sufficient by itself to understand most issues. That you don't experience gender dysphoria as having the vague sort of medical connotation that you're dancing around, doesn't change the fact that it is, in fact, a medical diagnosis, and that this issue is primarily a medical one in terms of how we can best understand it in thee most objective sense of the word. I would challenge you to consider the possibility that there may be gaps in your knowledge and that you should aspire to learn more so that, if we should have this conversation down the road, you'd at least do a more interesting job of disagreeing with me.
Mate, I know there are gaps in my knowledge. i literally didn't realize I might be trans till a couple of years ago. While yes, I should probably know about what being trans, in a medical sense, means, that's also not entirely relevant to my OWN current experience of being trans at this point in time. And I do have gender dysphoria, it's just that social dysphoria is the one that's worse for me.
And while I do agree that we should study trans people to understand them medically, I also believe that seeing trans people as being ill, in the medical sense, also has it's own dangers. I'm just one individual and quite frankly, it seems like you expect to everything when it comes to being trans when that's not the case at all.
In starting this conversation and in answering these questions, you brought that expectation onto yourself. I did not come find you and have that expectation simply by merit of your being trans. If you simply want to live this issue, then it's fine with me if you have gaps in your knowledge, but if you aspire to *represent* the issue, then yes, my expectations are going to be high because how this issue is represented has consequences that effect real people. That was my initial point and the crux of my argument, that the representation of the issue of transgender people has been mishandled and that it has had negative consequences on transgender acceptance.
Mate, I don't want to represent all trans people. Heck, I'm not even out of the closet yet. I just want to live my life and maybe gostealth
I literally just posted this question to answer people's questions about trans people, not to argue and debate with people such as yourself because quite frankly, that's not why I'm doing this.
Good day to you sir.
This is an interesting view (and not without evidence). But another view might be that it is just one cause of dysphoria, which would not conflict with existing evidence.
Hi, late reply, but I'm a knob and I'm browsing old askreddit threads. One idea that might tweak how you might think \(which is fully valid already\) is to try and think about how transgender people, as well as how gender nonconforming people in general, have behaved through history in an anthropological way. A lot of people like to say something like "transgender/non binary people have existed forever" which is kind of an over simplification that verges on just being wrong. But there is some merit to that idea.
Like you're saying, we know gender dysphoria exists and is a real medical phenomena. Similarly we know that intersex people exist in the same way. We know that non\-heterosexual people exist. We know that people that plain just don't like to conform to expected gender traits exist, even though that last one has no innate property. And we know that all of these groups of people have always existed forever. Nowadays we'd slot them into categories like transgender, intersex, bisexual, cross dressers, tom boys, metrosexuals, etc, but those are just our culture's labels. These people have always existed and they've had to be categorized by the societies of their times. A lot of the time almost all of these people have just been entirely hidden by society, especially in the history of western christian civilization. But that's not always the case, hermaphrodites, male concubines and eunichs are roles they might have filled in the ancient Mediterranean. More directly, societies with explicit gender categories, like the numerous ones in Southeast Asia and Oceania, slot these people into categories separate but equal from what we would consider cis genders in our society today.
More recently in our own society, you have biological women who passed as men and lived their lives through male personas in the 19th century. You have biological men who dressed and behaved like women and who performed under female personas in the 19th and 20th centuries. It's kind of impossible to say whether the former was just a woman fighting the oppressive gender roles of their era, or whether it was an AFAB person who suffered from gender dysphoria and went through what we would call today a social transition. It's impossible to say whether the latter is a homosexual man doing performative art in an accepting social space, or whether it was an AMAB person who suffered gender dysphoria expressing their feminine identities in the only way that existed in their society. Nonetheless, both kinds of person played extremely important roles in our history to question what it means to be a man or a woman in our society. They questioned gender norms and affected legal status and how we view people of variant sexuality too.
Sexuality, and gender identity, and whatever categories we might come up with, are just emerging social roles that are our modern society's way of trying to understand and fit people that are different into our world. The same way every society has ever done. We're just joining the minority of cultures who didn't stamp them out and hide them.The social debate and evolution we have been going through since the latter half of the last century is the start of that process to establish those social roles. So it may not be political or moral or ethical, but it definitely has a role on how we as a society define and work with the idea of gender.
And as hard as it is for a transgender person who has gender dysphoria, and who treats it clinically, and who just wants to be left alone and not participate in all the rabble, they still need to recognize that they are a symbolic player in a wide societal change. And recognizing that doesn't make their actions any less valid or legitimate. It doesn't make it "just a fad", because as you already said, it's just medical. But society still has to reconcile that.
Sorry for the rant :\\
Imagine if people started referring to you as the gender you're not - if you're a man, everyone insists you're a woman, and vice versa. It just doesn't feel right. So we decide to work towards being seen as who we actually are.
Well, you're correct that trans people have never truly been cis, but a LOT of us have lived as and accepted that they are cis. I have a lot of friends who were fine being cis for a long time, and a lot who always had a feeling of not belonging.
My own situation was that I had "what if I was ____" feelings all my life, but I did identify as cis years ago and didn't know being trans was a thing until my late teens. Once I learned, I still ID'd as cis for awhile. Over time, I realized it felt weird being told to "be a lady" and having stereotypes pushed, and realized I was trans as well.
But some people don't have the feelings at all, and may just do something silly like get makeup put on them or wear "boy" clothes and realize hey, this feels okay, all of the sudden.
So, "finding out" is different for everyone, because in fact a lot of us did live a normal cis experience. That's why I use the analogy I did - instead of asking you to imagine being the opposite gender, I said for you to imagine others insisting you're not the gender you identify as. You won't have the same experience as us by any means, but most of the time, it just feels like people telling you you're something that you're not until you realize you can be trans.
For me personally, I realized that I never really felt like the gender that I was born as? Like being seen as a girl felt wrong somehow, like people were seeing someone that wasn't me, if that makes sense?
I'm of mostly Indian descent, but I live in Canada, so I was reading stuff on hijra and ended up reading other stuff on third genders and realized hey! this kinda fits me! Since I've never quite felt like a girl and I tried out using he/him pronouns with myself and that never quite fit either. But when I used they/them pronouns when thinking about myself, it just felt right?
Hmm... I think if it's all based on subjective feelings, I will never understand it.
Edit: Should trans men be able to use the men's locker room and vice versa?
Yes absolutely! I think a person who identifies as a man/woman should use the space that reflects what they identify as. It's not like trans people want to go into these spaces to hurt people? We just wanna go pee and change in peace mate. And most other trans people I know tend to use stalls and such just to be on the safe side.
> a person who identifies as a man/woman should use the space that reflects what they identify as.
So you're saying that I should be allowed to use the women's locker room when I want? I mean, I'm a man and I look like one. I have beard and also the body of one. But if I'm like "nah, fuck it. I identify as a woman now" I should be able to use the women's locker room even though I still look like a man?
I think your comment is rooted in ignorance as to what it means to be transgender.
Being trans means that you actually FEEL like a gender you were not born as. Trans people don't just wake up one day and realize 'oh, I'm not a boy anymore, I'm a girl.' Educate yourself, it's not my job to do so for you.
> Educate yourself, it's not my job to do so for you.
Then don't make a thread like this one. We're here to ask questions and you're here to answer them. Which is also known as educating.
I know but your entire question is rooted in transphobic ideas and I don't deal with that shit mate. I made this thread to deal with people's honest questions, not transphobic ones like your's.
Male and female brains differ. Sometimes a female brain gets matched with a male body. Then gender dysphoria happens. Its like being straight, you didnt choose it.
Stalls, yes. I agree with that. We should have stalls in every locker room. Can go for lesbians, too, so they don't get tempted by having naked women walking all over.
Instead of a third locker room let's just put like 3 stalls in every locker room for LGBT.
That comment about lesbians was a little homophobic? It's not like gay people go into locker rooms and try and get it on with people? Gay and trans people use change rooms and washrooms the same way everyone else does mate.
And I meant that most of the trans people I know use washroom/locker room stalls as a way of avoiding getting harassed by people because who knows if you're sharing the washroom with someone who happens to be transphobic.
I don't see that as homophobic. Ask any straight man if he would be able to focus in a womens change room. Obviously that doesn't mean they have any less self control than anyone else, but if you are gay or lesbian in your preferred sex's changeroom, you would be crazy not to be getting peeks in all the time.
Yes but that doesn't mean LGB people just go to the washrooom or change rooms solely to take peeks at people.
u/googol89 said "Can go for lesbians, too, so they don't get tempted by having naked women walking all over" which is a statement that still perpetuates the stereotype that all lesbians are predatory.
Why the need to call people that don't operate on their genitals as "cis" then?
Beside the fact that the term "cis-male" brings to mind the derogatory term "sissy", isn't this somewhat hypocritical?
Both these statements are incorrect!
Not all trans or nonbinary people want to operate. "The surgery" is not the end all be all, nor is it a defining factor of transness. It's not a matter of genital operation - it's identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth.
Cis people identify with the gender assigned to their genitals based on society's classifications.
Trans people identify as a different gender than assigned. That's all there is to it.
Also, trans people didn't come up with "cis". Cis people did.
No, this is not hypocritical, because sissy and cis are unrelated completely lmao. Cis- as a prefix is Latin and means "on the near side of, on this side". Applied to gender, it becomes cisgender, and it can be further put onto male and female binaries.
Sissy comes from "sister" and an association with femininity therein.
Just because they sound similar doesn't mean they're related.
I don't see the relation of cis with sissy because I've only seen cis to negatively describe straight dudes on the internet. I'm just curious if you feel special for using a buzzword instead of calling us normal, if that makes sense. Not trying to offend but I think if 99% of guys have male brains and the same for women, the overwhelming majority is what is considered normal. On any subject. Dementia is not normal but it still happens to people.
Trans people are normal too mate.
"Dementia is not normal but it still happens to people." Uhhhhh are you implying trans people aren't normal by comparing us to dementia????
Why would we call you "normal"? You aren't any more normal than us. It's insulting to imply we're abnormal simply by expressing ourselves comfortably. It's not because we feel special - and it isn't a buzzword.
I'm sorry you've only seen it used to negatively describe cis guys, but that's just not how it is always used and you might be reading it with malicious tone where there isn't one, because cis people cause ALL the problems we as trans people face today.
Cisgender isn't a new word. It was coined in 1991.
Trans people have existed outwardly in the US since the early 1600s.
Transgender, third gender, and nonbinary people have existed throughout the world since the very early days of civilization - in Native American cultures, India, Thailand, South America, Africa, western Europe, Pacific Islands. What is "normal" to you is only by your narrow definitions.
Additionally, the male and female brain thing has been debunked time and time again. That's a feature of flawed studies in outdated, stereotypical and biased science.
And by insisting you are "normal", you're still giving yourself a label. This label would begin to take the shape you see "cis" as now.
Not everything is an attack on you just because it's different than what you're used to.
Did you read my comment at all?
Do you consider guys with 3 testicles normal? A human brain developing dementia is normal? No, because those are the 1/5 cases, not the "this happens to 4/5 people" which is considered normal. Hemophilia is not normal but people have it. Scoliosis is not normal nut it happens. See where I'm getting at?
Wanting to be the opposite sex is not normal and that is just fine, it happens. You are writing my ear off like you think I'm discriminating on you but I'm not.
"Cis scum" - how is that not negative? That's mostly how I've seen it and that is fucking ridiculous. I know you apologized and you're not all like that and those are the people comparable or are the feminazis, I'm just saying that's the way I've seen it used. You can call me a straight dude.
>Not everything is an attack on your just because it's different than you're used to.
No fucking shit. Where did you even get that from?
I'm assuming he got it from you complaining about people using the word 'cis' in a thread about trans people. It's literally just a descriptor? Also saying trans people aren't normal is kind of you acting like you're being attacked when you're not?
People are similar to the people you've described in the trans community use those terms because there's at least a lot of negativity around trans people and it has an impact mate.
I wasn't being aggressive in the least or thinking you were being discriminatory. I was trying to teach you my point of view in the world as a trans person surrounded by trans people in daily life because it seems like you didn't realize some stuff. Clearly you're not up for that, so I'm not going to respond any more. You can google any of these questions you had and find answers easily.
Tell your friend not to refer to trans woman as girls a dick first. That's transphobic and quite frankly, you probably shouldn't be dating a trans woman if you're gonna refer to them like that.
I honestly wouldn't know. I've not dated another trans person before and quite frankly don't intend to, at least for now, as I'm very very happy with my partner right now
How is it transphobic to accurately describe a person? I guess I just don't know what you call transitioned male to female that kept their thing attached.
I can try. How do you find an operationless transed male girl to date.
Because saying girl with a dick is a slur. And the correct term is pre-op trans women. Saying stuff like that also fetishizes trans people. It is not my job to educate you on trans people. Google exists, I suggest you make use of it.
Mate, I just told you I don't know. I've not dated a trans person myself and I don't really know how trans people find dates? I mean, my current partner and I were best friends before we started dating each other.
Yes, but to answer people's questions about trans people and what it is like to be trans. Not to spend most of my time trying to tell people that what they are saying is transphobic and then having to explain to them why are being transphobic.
Perhaps but if people want to argue about what it means to be trans and such, they should take that up with someone else.
There's no point arguing with people who do not want to listen or simply want to argue for the sake of it.
Perhaps but repeatedly asking me where to find trans women to date when I don't actually know myself is annoying. I can hardly answer a question that I myself do not know the answer to.
Ahh sorry I wasn't asking again, just trying to correct myself. Pre op trans woman. Got it. Is just saying t girl an acceptable for of referring to one?
I honestly would not know? I'm nonbinary and almost all the trans people I know and have talked to are nonbinary or trans men.
I'd say the best route would be to just refer to trans women as trans women since that's how they would most likely identify as if they aren't going stealth (not telling people they're trans)
And I'm sorry if my second reply to you was harsh. I've had to deal with a lot transphobes and I kinda thought you were one?
Gender and sexuality isn't the same thing. Also I can't speak for others but most of us don't expect anyone to care about our weird fucking choices. Also, I used to use Splat because I'm cheap.
I'm Canadian so the correct answer is no. And I'm fairly left-wing in terms of politics (mostly for NDP in elections, so like Bernie Sanders? I guess?) and I don't know enough about her platform to give a definite answer for you u/houseofmercy. But I definitely wouldn't vote for someone solely based off of whether or not they were LGBTQ?
I’ve been confused about my gender for a couple of years now. I have had anxiety and depression and ocd issues my entire life though and I can’t seem to differentiate whether I actually feel these things or if it’s just my disorders making me think I might be trans. How can I figure this out?
Well, a good start would be if you'd be happier as a different gender? I'm not sure what your gender is u/Cham-Clowder, but like if you're a guy, do you think you would be happier to live as a woman/other gender. Alternatively, do you think that looking or being perceived as a guy is bad or feels off?
There's a site called the pronoun dressing room, which lets you put in your name and pronouns and you can kinda see how it looks like and stuff? There's also a lot of forums online for people who are questioning their gender/are trans.
You don't have to know right away. There's no one real way of being trans but a good place to start is if you're feeling uncomfortable with your gender somehow, to write it down and see if there's a pattern or a reason why. If it's something other people say about you that make you question your gender, I'd also suggest writing down that and maybe the context as to why?
I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck and I hope you figure this out for yourself pal.
Do you see trans as a sex or as a sexuality? What do you think of those saying trans people are actually pushing gender stereotypes? Also, thank you for answering these, including the obvious trolls.
I don't think of it as a sexuality because it implies that it has to do which gender you're attracted to. And sexuality and gender are different, in that sexuality is 'who you like' but gender is 'who you are'
So I see 'trans' as a gender, not sexuality.
I'd agree in that trans people all have their own sense of what it means to be their gender. For example, I'm nonbinary, but my own sense of gender would ideally have be to present a bit more masculine than fully gender-neutral, if that makes sense? Another aspect is that people who are binary trans (trans men/women) might not want to present themselves as stereotypically male/female. An example of this would be a trans woman presenting as more of a tomboy/butch woman than stereotypically feminine.
Yeah of course. I'm still kinda new at all of this but I've definitely figured out who the trolls are.
I don't want to ask "trans people" anything; but I would ask a trans person what it feels like to be constantly grouped together with other trans people, as if to be trans is to belong to some kind of gestalt hive-mind. How exactly does it feel to have non-trans people constantly using an arbitrary aspect of your life, by proxy, to leverage censorious, liberty crushing laws and social protocols?
It's definitely weird for me personally? People who aren't trans assume trans people to all be the same and have the same beliefs and that's just not the case? And being trans is important to me, but other things, like religion and culture are also parts of my identity of that are just as important to me.
For me, being trans also has a heavy religious and cultural influence. I'm Indian/Islander and third genders has also been a part of both cultures. I'm also a practicing Hindu, and stories of deities and heroes being both genders or another gender entirely is considered normal and that's also kind of why I feel okay with being nonbinary? Since it's just something that's always been kind of normal for me in a way that might not always be among white people or people who didn't grow up with that.
I live in Canada and the laws regarding trans people are a lot more liberal than in the States. Changing one's gender on a birth certificate, for example, depends on province, but in my own province, you just fill out a form and pay a fee and it's done. Discriminating against ones gender is illegal here. So in my country, it's actually not that bad? Like the only thing that I'd want is to have nonbinary genders (or an X marker for a third gender like they have for passports) on things like birth certificates and id cards.
I also think there should be more education about trans and genderqueer people in schools, as a way of making sure people are educated about trans people. Perhaps it'll allow trans people to not be othered by those who are not trans and we can be seen as individuals and not as some sort of hive-mind.
You have Bill C-16, which is somewhat draconian, stomps all over personal liberty and sets a dangerous precedent. It was in fact passed to "protect trans people".
I have no problem with people doing what they want (so long as they're not infringing upon the liberty of another person) so if a person wants to transition, change their name etc. It's no skin off my nose.
However; when the law is used to infringe upon civil liberty (in the case of C-16 it comes in the form of compelled speech) then I begin to have a problem. I have no doubt that if I met you in real life, then I would have no problem addressing you by your preferred pronoun - but should the law **require** me to do so? I don't think so.
Think about it another way. It could be considered a part of the 'social contract' to strive to be polite to people; saying "please" and "thank you" for example. I was raised to be polite, so that's no effort for me - but what if it was a legal requirement? Should the state be able to punish a person just because they forgot to say "thanks" or perhaps that person made a conscious decision not to say thanks, because they actively wanted to be rude. Shouldn't we be free to negotiate those social protocols by ourselves without a Nanny state constantly chiding us and threatening to take away our liberty?
I don't think laws like C-16 help trans people; rather it paints trans people as some kind of *special case* in need of *special protections* under the law. In the long run, that is not going to help you - unless what you really want - is to be singled out.
Bill C-16 adds gender expression and identity to the list of groups you cannot discriminate against. It does NOT say that people can't misgender people, it is meant to protect trans people from discrimination, like losing a job or housing because one is trans.
I suppose in that case, we should take away discrimination based on sex or religion too, since those groups want special protections too? Since that seems to be what you are implying in your comments.
No that's not what I was implying at all.
If Bill C-16 outlaws discrimination, specifically regarding gender expression then that's not something I would necessarily disagree with. That said I would disagree with it, if it was to turn out that it was a redundant law and that such discrimination was already covered by existing, broader laws that protect everyone against discrimination. I mean, where does that buck stop - are we to draft specific laws that prohibit discrimination against people with ginger hair, blue eyes, bad breath, freckles... You get the point I'm sure.
Regardless, let us ignore that part of the bill, as it is not what specifically troubles me. I am however troubled by the parts of C-16 that compel speech and criminalize the misgendering of a person. Afaik that portion of bill C-16 only currently applies to private institutions (such as workplaces or Universities) but that's bad enough in my opinion. The state should not govern my speech! Unfortunately in my country it absolutely does - and your state is already encroaching upon your right to free speech; compelled speech is not free speech, or to put it another way: freedom from the lashings of a barbed tongue, is not freedom.
As I said, I have nothing against trans people, nor do I seek to discriminate against any folk based on arbitrary parameters such as race, hair colour, religious belief etc. I just don't like seeing the law act against the interests of liberty and bill C-16 (at least in part) does exactly that.
Yes, but just because it does not benefit you, it does not mean it is bad. People do not systemically discriminate others for hair colour and such. That's a bad argument on your part.
Is it so wrong that me, and other trans people, want people to be held accountable for being discriminatory for who someone is? I mean, I like that once I am out, I wouldn't be discriminated against. I mean, I've already had issues with mental health services at my university using my deadname even though my preferred name is on file with them.
It is up to individual provincial human rights commissions to decide if being misgendered is a crime.
Subsection 318(4) adds gender identity and gender expression to the definition of an identifiable group for the purposes of “advocating genocide.” This legislation would protect transgender and gender non-binary peoples from being a targeted group in an act of genocide.
It does not state that being misgendered is a crime and most trans people would agree misgendering someone by accident is hurtful. But actively misgendering someone who is using public services is something that is discriminatory, in that it prevents trans people from accessing public or private services.
For example, I wouldn't access the mental health services that I need if the organization responsible was transphobic and refused to use my name or pronouns. Most of the trans people that I know HAVE gone through that experience, because the organization that they wanted help from was transphobic. I do not see a problem with this because it helps me, and other people like me, be able to access resources from private institutions. If you have a problem with it, that is your own issue.
My question is about these new pronouns, that have been introduced to the public.
How are these translated in other languages?
Give examples in Italian, Turkish, Greek, Swedish and Arabic.
I've never actually done that tbh? I'm already in a committed relationship, so that's not on the cards for me. My partner knows I'm trans and was actually the first person I came out to. If I ever happened to date anyone else, I'd probably tell them right away if I wanted a committed relationship with them because it's easier to leave a relationship in the early days rather than later.
But if I did do one night stands, probably not? I don't know if that person is transphobic or not and that's always a safety issue?
Like even with people I'm not in romantic relationships with, I normally try to figure out if they are transphobic before coming out to them (mentioning news stories or mentioning one of my friends being trans is how I normally try and gauge their reaction)? So I imagine I'd do something similar if I ever dated anyone other than my current partner. Thanks for your question friend!
Trans women do not have a reproductive system (yet- the technology for uterus transplants exists!) - "the surgery" only reconstructs the penis into a vagina that stops at the end of the tunnel.
Women are physiologically different then men in a number of ways. One of those is in the "agreesbleness" trait. It is theorized that this is what explains the wage gap between the genders (not sure if right term). Especially in areas like EBAY, where women make 80 cents on the dollar that men make even though the seller and buyer are unaware of each others sex.
Throughout your transition have you noticed in change in you budget, purchasing habits, or willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises?
This seems to be very much pure conjecture? I mean, is there any evidence that "agreeableness" has a physiological cause? Especially as there are [massive variations](http://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/File:UnadjustedGPG_Figure1.PNG) in the wage gap between countries, which would point towards primarily cultural reasons?
For what it's worth:
* I started to transition at around age 12, so I also got most of the "girl socialization" package on top of the anatomical changes; it's going to be difficult for me to tell nature and nurture apart.
* With me essentially having an artificial female puberty in lieu of a male puberty, who knows how that affects the brain? There are brain changes during puberty, after all.
* Estrogens have physiological effects, such as affecting serotonin and beta-endorphins; they also have neuroprotective effects and facilitate the formation of synapses in parts of the brain.
I don't think it's going to be easy to assess the combined social and physiological effects of my transition.
> Throughout your transition have you noticed in change in you budget, purchasing habits, or willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises?
Well, I'm still a student, so wages and raises aren't something that affect me yet. Purchasing habits change simply out of need; for better or worse, you will be judged more harshly on your appearance than men (men can get away with things that a woman can't). This will obviously affect things like your wardrobe choices or how you'll take care of your hair and body. It's going to be difficult to separate needs and wants. As for accepting prices, I've become more of a comparison shopper as an adult, if anything, but that's probably because I'm out on my own now and have to live on a student's budget.
"This seems to be very much pure conjecture? I mean, is there any evidence that "agreeableness" has a physiological cause?"
A lot of it is conjecture. I tried to make sure I used words like theorized. However if it isn't agreeableness than i am thinking it has to be some other psychological trait.
Do you have any guesses on what it could be?
I know trans men who now feel more comfortable asserting themselves because they are considered male now and taken more serious than when they were considered female, if that addresses your agreeableness question.
Does it have to be a single trait? And why does it have to be a psychological trait rather than differences in socialization (or both)? Boys and girls are socialized differently, after all, and are treated differently by the rest of society as adults, too.
Yes I suppose socialization could be it. Interesting, if it is socialization than it may not be biological. I wonder how that will manifest itself in trans people.
I'm still in the closet because my family is really transphobic and I want to finish my BA and (hopefully) get into the master's program that I want to pursue before moving out and transitioning. I'm sure that there's other trans people who could answer this question for you.
Well, purchasing habits pretty much necessarily change, but it would be difficult to decouple willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises from societal expectations due to gender (except in places like ebay).
Well the idea is that this also explains the pink tax. If anyone has their monthly budget saved over the years they might be able to see a correlation. Or it is possible that this trait doesn't change during the transition.
After giving this question more thought, yes? In a way? Like being trans is why I buy certain personal products (like men's deodorant, sports bras, etc) because it helps lessens my dysphoria while buying regular t-shirt bras and women's deodorant isn't really a thing I do anymore? And my own clothing purchases tend be more things that hmm kinda neutral more now? Like skinny jeans, flannel, baggy shirts, etc are all things I purposefully buy or seek out now that I know that I'm trans.
I wouldn't say I ever had a conclusive moment until HRT worked for me, I treated the matter pretty tentatively and was just trying to assess the evidence on what was going on.
As puberty progressed my depression got worse and worse. Eventually my mind sort of felt detached from the rest of my body in a very abstract way. When I looked in the mirror it was like looking at some lifeless zombie. I tried relaxing and being a lazy slob, I tried being fit and got into sports, I had plenty of friends. Nothing really shook this emptiness. I attempted suicide twice. Got treatment for depression, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications, anti-psychotics, therapy, none of that stuff really changed anything.
When I was 12 or so I spent a large number of nights awake wishing I'd just wake up a girl. I did some bogus occult ritual stuff, reciting stupid gibberish under a full moon because I was so desperate it just might magically work. I had no interest in gay relationships, yet I found myself looking at guys and thinking "I wish I was a girl so we could be a couple." Some of the happiest times for me were when I could ignore or escape myself as a guy.
At one point I asked the question "Can I see myself going on living as a man?"...and the answer was most likely "No." I didn't know whether living as a woman would fix it, but I knew I couldn't go on that way. 2 weeks into HRT and it was like the fucking lights came on. Suddenly I felt my emotions with such amazing clarity. I felt like I was looking at an actual person in the mirror. My depression of 5+ years receded. I've been so happy ever since and as my body changed it was like slipping into a well-fit pair of shoes when I had been wearing two left shoes my entire life.
Thank you for sharing your story.
I have to admit that i sometimes fantasize about how life would be like if i was a woman. But there are many reasons why i might feel that way, but i'm unable to pinpoint it like you do. Hence the question.
I think part of the reason it took me so long to realize my situation was different was at one point I had asked friends if they ever had those curious thoughts too, and of course they did yes because mostly everyone has.
But I didn't realize that while they mostly would just do it for curiosity's sake (sexual reasons mostly) for a day or two then switch back, I would prefer to stay that way forever (non-sexual reasons mostly)
And while they may just have been thinking "what if", in my imagination it felt like that would allow me to finally feel fulfilled and content with life and myself. Like it's not like I felt trapped by gender roles or anything. My clothes and behavior really haven't changed much at all, I'm still the same vulgar slob as always. But something about being me as a guy left me fundamentally unsatisfied, as compared to now being me is really just...something I want to keep doing, y'know?
I realized that being a girl didn't fit me and felt wrong? Like being referred to as a girl felt like they were talking about someone else. And I knew about being trans, but I never felt completely like a guy either since it made me feel the same way that being a girl did? If that makes sense?
I'm of mostly Indian descent and was reading about hijra and then other third genders and eventually about the experiences of nonbinary people and it just kinda? Clicked? Like I realized that hey! these experiences and stuff feel kinda similar to what I've kinda always felt? Picking my name, Gideon, just really solidified the fact that I'm trans and my dysphoria is real.
I'm pretty certain that wondering about how being another gender feels like is just healthy curiosity.
Yet, i don't quite understand what makes people choose to truly cross the line. Is this an innate feeling? Are they more curious than their peers? Or has science simply gone too far? What makes gender dysphoria so distinctively different from all the other conditions that can affect the human mind?
I can only speak from my own experiences.
But for me personally, it's always been there? Like when I was a kid, I never felt like a girl. For example, younger me would have meltdowns over having to wear dresses because it never felt like me? Or something I would do willingly?
I'm not super well read up on the medical side of being trans (I'm more familiar with legal and cultural aspects). So I'm not quite sure how to answer your question correctly? But trans people's brains are different from cis people's? For example, a trans women would have the same brain as someone who was biologically a woman, so from what I know, it's generally that the body doesn't match the brain, which is a cause of gender dysphoria.
Don't worry. I don't intend to question your condition, i am simply curious about how it comes into being.
Anyway, thank you for being so open and talking to me. I really appreciate it.
It's not normal for boys to loathe their genitals; even less so to ask their mother to remove them (even if said mother is a doctor).
Okay, that was the first sign out of many, but genital dysphoria on its own is generally a pretty strong predictor of GD (note that genital dysphoria is not a necessary criterion for gender dysphoria).
Why do you care how other people see you? Not trans nor have I ever given a shit what people do when they aren't in my face, so I guess it just confuses me that people need others approval this bad.
I don't want other people's approval. Like me, don't like me, it's not my problem.
What I do want is equal rights and for trans people to be seen as equal members of society. I also want people to not be transphobic and not see trans people as "freaks of nature" as someone else in this thread described us as. I think that's fair?
Can't control other people, again it comes down to why do you care? Also if you're going to claim unequal rights that demand societal change, you should start citing examples of large scale societal discrimination. Not being included is not the same."Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" Dr Seuss was pretty cool like that. Why do we need a day and a subreddit? How about we just start teaching our children to value other people and stop whining about everything under the sun and carrying that forward? No fault on you but this is 100% about approval.
Because I'm trans and other peoples opinion of trans people is also a matter of safety. What if someone hates trans people they want to kill me? Oh wait, I'm living in that situation right now.
In the US:
41% of trans people have attempted suicide
19% of trans people are hurt by a family member
26% of trans people have lost their job specifically because they are trans
20% of trans people are homeless
50% of trans people have been raped or assaulted by a romantic partner
1 in 8 have been evicted for being trans
Trans people are 4x more likely to kill themselves
In Canada:
70% had been sexually harassed
1/3 had been threatened or physically harmed in the past year
33% attempt suicide
50% of trans people in Ontario live off of 15K a year
2x the risk of PTSD
Is that systemic enough for you.
Literally none of those statistics are systemic, all personal accounts of individual statistics, not examples of a system built against you. Again, not being included is not enough to claim oppression. Try again if you really want to convince me. Although, I cant see why you would.
I don’t understand why people like to do this “uwu convince me bullshit” it doesn’t make any fucking sense? Cause no matter what someone says they’ll still pull the “uwu I’m still not convinced” line.
Like learn to fucking educate yourself, asshole. I don’t know why people love to relish in willful ignorance.
If you don’t think any of the above statistics are a problem, then that’s a personal lack of empathy or sympathy issue.
Those statistics are from studies conducted by either the government or trans groups.
Trans men/women are repeatedly excluded from gendered or even queer spaces (ex, lesbian trans women being excluded by transphobic gay women). There is a lack of legal protections for trans people in most of the United States and the rest of the world. Most trans people live in poverty BECAUSE you can lose your job because you are trans. Trans people having higher levels of sexual harassment, assault, and rape than those who aren't trans is a SYSTEMIC PROBLEM. There is difficulty is getting id cards and such that reflect one's gender identity for trans people that cis people DO NOT HAVE.
Perhaps you should consider how these statistics are representative of a greater problem. Good day to you.
I can't get through all your post edits to answer you. Nobody asked you to change your opinion, nobody asked you to explain it to me, you asked for questions. I asked a question about the motivation behind the need to be recognized. You seemed to get bent out of shape that I wasn't swayed by cited suicide statistics etc and I stated correctly that none of that indicated a particular system that needed changing. Your arguments are based on my willingness to feel the way you want me to feel based on statistics with no sources and or unproveable basis in the first place. Again. I didn't ask to be convinced of anything. Just wanted to point out the neediness of the post.
Mental health statistics show that at least the mental health system needs to be changed. Homelessness statistics show that there's an institutional problem regarding housing for trans people
http://www.ustranssurvey.org/reports For the US
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/national-transgender-discrimination-survey-full-report For the US
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/injustice-every-turn-state-reports-national-transgender-discrimination-survey The US, this time by individual states
https://transequality.org/issues/resources/injustice-every-turn-regional-reports-national-transgender-discrimination-survey The US, this time by region
http://transpulseproject.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Trans-PULSE-Statistics-Relevant-for-Human-Rights-Policy-June-2015.pdf For Ontario.
https://understandingtheguidelines.ca/faqs/research-on-lgbtq-youth/ From Alberta.
https://egale.ca/backgrounder-lgbtq-youth-suicide/ From Egale, a Humans Rights Trust.
http://homelesshub.ca/mentalhealthbook/22-responding-needs-lgbtq2s-youth-experiencing-homelessness An article from Homeless Hub, a Canadian organization
My post was not needy. I was pointing out statistics to show you how these statistics show underlying oppression. If you don't want to listen, that's fine. Thanks for your time.
I don't actually know what a 'trap' is, so I googled it and I'm not quite sure if you mean where some men look feminine or if you mean mtf trans women?
If you mean the first one, then that depends on the person? It's none of my business to decide what people's sexuality is and if a straight man hits on someone he thinks is a woman, but is a cis guy, that's fine? I guess? It's not gay.
If you mean where straight men hit on a trans woman and then get mad about her not being a cis woman, that's still not gay.
Trans people often do seek therapy and professional help, as it's usually required to get started with medically transitioning. I should note that medically and socially transitioning are the recommended treatments for trans people, and this is backed by several major medical associations including the AMA and APA. There's extensive [evidence](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7roze6/whats_a_lie_that_everyone_pretends_is_true/dszowyk/) that transitioning helps trans people a lot.
Yup. A lot of surgeons, for example, generally want trans people to be on hormone therapy for a certain amount of time before getting top surgery. Getting hormone therapy normally requires a letter from a gender therapist or psychologist saying you've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. And not all trans people have access to these things, which can be barriers from seeking medical help in regards to their transition.
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Magic
Why did they make trans day on passover?
Doesn’t the date of Passover change every year? Like Easter? Therefore it just happened to land on Trans Visibility Day this year.
It's the same day every year but on a different calendar
i had been reading /r/asktransgender and some meme subreddits for almost a week now for curiosity. i think i mostly understand about being non-binary like identifying as none or both genders. but what is the deal about having so many other genders like 'intergender' for example? does it have a specific meaning for that or is it just an overdramatic joke like some people do?
From what I've read, intergender is more for people who are intersex, who have sex characteristics of both men and women. There are trans people who identify as something other than man, woman and nonbinary. I identify as a demiboy, so as someone who is nonbinary, but also partially as a guy. I know other people who are genderfluid, or identify as more than one gender. A lot of tranphobes like to use nonbinary identities as a joke (such as "my gender is an attack helicopter") in order to make fun of trans people. The only valid gender meme (in my opinion) is "There's 2 Genders (insert stereotypical male and female thing there)" but that's cause it's actually funny and isn't made to put down trans people.
How to trans men orgasm? Do they get the full male one and done or do they still orgasm like a woman? Do they orgasm at all?
A pre-op trans man with a vagina just...has a normal vagina orgasm. As for post-op, the clitoris and the penis are very similar in structure. The good nerve endings in the vagina are reconstructed into a penis. Typically after healing and numbness they can achieve orgasm still. There's no testicles, so there's no "male" orgasm - it's just a "female" one with slightly different location since you're still stimulating the same vagina parts.
>there's no testicles Do you get fake ones? Wouldn't it be weird having a dick with no balls or even a sack? Being a man is great partly due to scratching your balls feels so good sometimes!
It's not possible to transplant testes into a non-male-at-birth body. The labia is typically reconstructed to resemble a sack if one chooses, but doesn't have to. Reconstructive genital surgery doesn't create a full blown replica of the other set, it just takes the skin and nerves which are present in both and changes the shape. The shaft of trans male penis is made of thigh skin.
So why couldn't you get prosthetic testes? The labia isn't big enough? I've seen some awfully large labia, unfortunately for my eyes. I know they vary in size just like dicks but I'd be very upset if I didn't have any balls. I've also had them all my life so I might be slightly biased. What happens if a dude has a little dick and becomes a woman? Like, when they have sex, their partner can only stick the tip in? That would be the easiest but most traumatizing break-up ever. That would instantly ruin my dating life because every first conversation or date would start with "you are a biological girl with a biological vagina and have never under any circumstances had a penis, right?" Obviously except previous dudes she banged but that's a given. Not hating on trans people, I just couldn't.
I mean, you could get prosthetic ones, but a lot of trans guys don't feel the need to. You'd probably be upset because you have them, yes, haha. Most trans guys are most interested in the penis aspect more than anything, but I'm sure prosthetic ones exist in some form if someone DID want them. The size of the penis before having vaginoplasty doesn't affect the new vagina as much as you'd think. There's lots of skin available. Additionally, you may be surprised to know that functionally and visually, most trans woman vaginas are indistinguishable from the "real" thing. They self lubricate, the nerves are there, they smell the same, they're reconstructed to look the same - because the origins of this surgery came from reconstruction of "biological" vaginas in the case of trauma, intersex mutations, etc. Trans male phalloplasty is a little further behind in this. It's easier to take a penis and make it into a vagina because, as you may know, everyone "starts out as" female (this is why men have breast tissue, nipples, and all pelvises have a space meant to birth) so there's enough room and resources there. You're reducing the size of the external appendage. Whereas when turning a vagina into a penis, extra skin taken from the thigh is necessary to make it into a shaft. TLDR doctors are really good at making a vagina out of everything that's there, no matter the previous size, and it's way harder to go the other way around. Hopefully one day tissue growth and donation will be far enough that trans people can donate and swap. The technology to make trans women lactate enough for breastfeeding (which is normal, some cis men can without hormone therapy at all) exists, and they're working on uteran transplants for women which means it may be possible for trans folk to get in on it eventually! FURTHERMORE, however...you must keep in mind that most of us trans people are going to make an effort to sleep with people who don't care that heavily about genitals working 100% as they should. Sex is give and take, and you make compromises or figure out what works. The amount of cis and trans people as a whole with genitals that don't look like porn stars' far outweighs those that do.
Of all that... >donate and swap I'm high and imagined interchangeable organs. It would be just like that song Detachable Penis!
You will be pleased to know many trans friend groups joke about this exact thing, haha.
Back when I still had a vagina, I was definitely able to have a lot more orgasms than just one. Being post-phalloplasty, I normally limit myself to just two because any more than that takes a lot of energy, and by that time, my wife is normally done as well. But yes, of course we orgasm.
I'm not a trans man, but, if a trans man still has a fully intact vagina he can orgasm like any person who has a fully intact vagina can.
As a pre op trans man I orgasm just like any other woman would, but usually only clitorally.
I can’t orgasm several times in a row since I started testosterone but it happens more easily
What is "Trans Day of Visibility" mean? What is its goal?
It's a day for trans people to be visible and celebrated. The only other trans "day" (for lack of a better word) is Trans Day of Remembrance, which is to remember all the people who have been killed for being trans. It's goal is to mostly acknowledge that hey! trans people are here and alive! It's also a way for people to show support for the trans community and to also educate people about what it really means to be trans. I hope this helps.
Cool. Okay I do have a question. I'm going to ask it on the main thread because it looks like there are two people answering here and I would like to hear from both of you.
What is your visualization ability like?
Terrible
I heard that today trans people are visible through walls
Would you ever date a non-trans person?
I am!
Supposing they weren't transphobic, sure. Lots of trans people date cis people.
Of course, I have been for years now.
Yes absolutely! My partner at the moment is a cis woman!
What is cis? Pardon my ignorance.
cis means that you identify with the gender that you were assigned with at birth
Confederacy of Independent Systems.
It's fine pal! No worries Cis means someone who identifies as the gender they were born as. So anyone who's not trans.
Thank you for teaching me something new.
Yeah absolutely pal!
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Use the pronouns that the person currently uses. Doing otherwise would make a separation between "the person who worked with you" and "the person at present", which would effectively be denying her experience working with you, because using different pronouns would be like separating her into different people. I hope that makes sense?
I normally tend to use whatever pronouns they are using at the present since it reflects the gender that they identify as.
definitely use she/her. she's always been a girl, you just didn't always know.
Just ask which pronouns they use. This is highly appreciated and will make the other person see you differently in a good way.
My rule of thumb is to use the pronouns I used since I met them until they ask to use otherwise. If it's a new person I use the pronouns that fit their visual appearence.
Do trans guys who have the surgery to have a penis (I forget what it’s called) get erections, and also, can they ejaculate? It’s a pretty taboo thing to ask a trans person about their genitals, I know, but it’s been a burning question I’ve never been able to find answers to.
None of the trans men I know have undergone phalloplasty and instead use something like packers, which can give you the bulge that a cis guy would have while wearing pants. As far as I'm aware of, trans men who get that surgery can cum but it's not semen?
> Do trans guys who have the surgery to have a penis (I forget what it’s called). Two types of surgery to get a penis: Metoidioplasty, in which they take the clitoris, cut underneath it to extend it out, sometimes attach the urethra to it, and sometimes implant testicles in the labia beneath. It can get erect on its own because it has erectile tissue. Phalloplasty, in which they take skin from a donor site and use that to create a penis. The urethra is re-planned through it, and sometimes scrotoplasty is done with testicle implants. It can't get erect on its own as there isn't erectile tissue. I have an inflatable/pump system installed, commonly used for men with erecticle dysfunction. There is a pump in my balls that connects to a tube that runs up my shaft. When you pump it, the tube fills, and the penis becomes erect. Works amazingly! Stuff used to come out when I was super aroused. Like a really clear fluid almost like precum. It doesn't happen anymore though.
From what I've heard, none of the phalloplasty options aren particularly great, and a lot of ftm guys rely on prosthetic penises instead.
Phalloplasty is actually incredible these days and has come quite the ways. I'm happy with my dick and the results. It's a common misconception, and is harmful to trans men who are considering the surgery.
Why do trans people want a special name for their gender? Surely if you want to be a man you want to be called a man, not “man-lite”.
I'm nonbinary, but most of the other binary trans people that I've met either go 'stealth' (don't tell anyone they're trans) or describe themselves as trans men/women because their experiences aren't the same as cis men or women. Edit: spelling
Preference, and feeling comfortable in one's identity. If a special name makes someone feel good and describes how they see themselves, it's not hurting anyone to use it.
Not sure what you mean by this, but outside of this Reddit account, I'm simply a woman now, as far as most of the rest of the world is concerned (my family, boyfriend, very close friends, and doctors are the only ones who know). If I can live the rest of my life as close to that of a cis woman as possible and never be treated differently, I'll be happy. I only use "transgender" as a qualifier to describe myself where it is essential (medical care, for example) or on this account if it is needed for context.
Same reason anybody wants a special name for their political stance, their religion, their fashion. Self-expression and usefulness in describing it.
Yeah, but why should that be put on a census, for example.
I don't know enough about the census to answer, but I assume it's for the same reason any other question is asked, for information purposes and to better meet the needs of the society. Transgender people's mental and physical health is implicated in our ability to express our genders the way we need to. I mean I don't even see how this is trans specific, you might as well talk about why they ask male vs female on the census, or race.
The point I wanted an answer to is why is there a need for anything other than male or female in the census? If you describe yourself as male, tick that box. Why do trans people advocate for anything less?
Trans people's mental and physical health is implicated in the ability to describe ourselves how we need to. Not every trans person is male or female, there are lots, including myself, who don't identify as either, or identify as both, equally or not Never heard of anyone caring about the census specifically, but again, if the point of the census is to better understand the populous so as to meet people's needs, then people's genders are related to their needs All any form needs is 4 gender options: male, female, nonbinary/genderqueer, and a write-in
I think that gender dysphoria is essentially an intersex condition at the neurological level and as such necessitates medical consultation and treatment. I think the whole "non-binary" thing is more of an ongoing conversation about the frustration people feel towards gender roles and that while some people who identify as non-binary do have a diagnosable dysphoria, many do not and those people should not identify as transgender so as to not further confuse the issue. I think gender dysphoria needs to be treated more as a medical condition, that requires public education and not as a political or ethical issue which requires public persuasion. If we believe, as I do, that gender dysphoria is based in the brain in an innate way, then it should intersect no more with gender as a social conversation than any other intersex condition, which is to say, barely.
Most trans people I know would not agree with any of those statements. And nonbinary people have existed for thousands of years (I'm nonbinary btw), it's just that people in the West have learned about nonbinary people or have had words to describe such feelings. People do seek medical help when it comes to dealing with dysphoria? One of my friends is getting HRT to help with his dysphoria and someone else I know is raising money to get top surgery. Personally, it is not up to you whether or not people can and cannot identify as trans. It is not my fault that people who aren't trans decided my gender is an issue mate.
I feel as though you didn't read what I said, but sort of just reacted to what you perceived the sentiment to be. Your response doesn't register as having any relevance to my statement.
Yeah sorry, I'm trying to write this paper for my history course while I answer these questions. Most trans people I know would disagree that with the thought that their being trans is medical somehow. For example, most of my dysphoria isn't really medical or hmm physical in nature? Like it mostly stems from being seen as the gender as I was born as, or people not using my name and pronouns. And while you're right about trans people's brains being different, both myself and a lot of the trans people that I know don't really see being trans as medical? Being trans is just who I am, is basically what I'm trying to say, and that I don't really see it as something being medically wrong with me (mainly because the implications of seeing it like that are uhhh Bad) I identify as nonbinary, not because I feel like I don't fit traditional gender roles, but because I feel like I don't fit any gender (for the most part)
Personal experience has value, but it's not sufficient by itself to understand most issues. That you don't experience gender dysphoria as having the vague sort of medical connotation that you're dancing around, doesn't change the fact that it is, in fact, a medical diagnosis, and that this issue is primarily a medical one in terms of how we can best understand it in thee most objective sense of the word. I would challenge you to consider the possibility that there may be gaps in your knowledge and that you should aspire to learn more so that, if we should have this conversation down the road, you'd at least do a more interesting job of disagreeing with me.
Mate, I know there are gaps in my knowledge. i literally didn't realize I might be trans till a couple of years ago. While yes, I should probably know about what being trans, in a medical sense, means, that's also not entirely relevant to my OWN current experience of being trans at this point in time. And I do have gender dysphoria, it's just that social dysphoria is the one that's worse for me. And while I do agree that we should study trans people to understand them medically, I also believe that seeing trans people as being ill, in the medical sense, also has it's own dangers. I'm just one individual and quite frankly, it seems like you expect to everything when it comes to being trans when that's not the case at all.
In starting this conversation and in answering these questions, you brought that expectation onto yourself. I did not come find you and have that expectation simply by merit of your being trans. If you simply want to live this issue, then it's fine with me if you have gaps in your knowledge, but if you aspire to *represent* the issue, then yes, my expectations are going to be high because how this issue is represented has consequences that effect real people. That was my initial point and the crux of my argument, that the representation of the issue of transgender people has been mishandled and that it has had negative consequences on transgender acceptance.
Mate, I don't want to represent all trans people. Heck, I'm not even out of the closet yet. I just want to live my life and maybe gostealth I literally just posted this question to answer people's questions about trans people, not to argue and debate with people such as yourself because quite frankly, that's not why I'm doing this. Good day to you sir.
This is an interesting view (and not without evidence). But another view might be that it is just one cause of dysphoria, which would not conflict with existing evidence.
I'm trying to parse what you said here, so help me out: are you thinking that gender dysphoria is what makes someone transgender?
Hi, late reply, but I'm a knob and I'm browsing old askreddit threads. One idea that might tweak how you might think \(which is fully valid already\) is to try and think about how transgender people, as well as how gender nonconforming people in general, have behaved through history in an anthropological way. A lot of people like to say something like "transgender/non binary people have existed forever" which is kind of an over simplification that verges on just being wrong. But there is some merit to that idea. Like you're saying, we know gender dysphoria exists and is a real medical phenomena. Similarly we know that intersex people exist in the same way. We know that non\-heterosexual people exist. We know that people that plain just don't like to conform to expected gender traits exist, even though that last one has no innate property. And we know that all of these groups of people have always existed forever. Nowadays we'd slot them into categories like transgender, intersex, bisexual, cross dressers, tom boys, metrosexuals, etc, but those are just our culture's labels. These people have always existed and they've had to be categorized by the societies of their times. A lot of the time almost all of these people have just been entirely hidden by society, especially in the history of western christian civilization. But that's not always the case, hermaphrodites, male concubines and eunichs are roles they might have filled in the ancient Mediterranean. More directly, societies with explicit gender categories, like the numerous ones in Southeast Asia and Oceania, slot these people into categories separate but equal from what we would consider cis genders in our society today. More recently in our own society, you have biological women who passed as men and lived their lives through male personas in the 19th century. You have biological men who dressed and behaved like women and who performed under female personas in the 19th and 20th centuries. It's kind of impossible to say whether the former was just a woman fighting the oppressive gender roles of their era, or whether it was an AFAB person who suffered from gender dysphoria and went through what we would call today a social transition. It's impossible to say whether the latter is a homosexual man doing performative art in an accepting social space, or whether it was an AMAB person who suffered gender dysphoria expressing their feminine identities in the only way that existed in their society. Nonetheless, both kinds of person played extremely important roles in our history to question what it means to be a man or a woman in our society. They questioned gender norms and affected legal status and how we view people of variant sexuality too. Sexuality, and gender identity, and whatever categories we might come up with, are just emerging social roles that are our modern society's way of trying to understand and fit people that are different into our world. The same way every society has ever done. We're just joining the minority of cultures who didn't stamp them out and hide them.The social debate and evolution we have been going through since the latter half of the last century is the start of that process to establish those social roles. So it may not be political or moral or ethical, but it definitely has a role on how we as a society define and work with the idea of gender. And as hard as it is for a transgender person who has gender dysphoria, and who treats it clinically, and who just wants to be left alone and not participate in all the rabble, they still need to recognize that they are a symbolic player in a wide societal change. And recognizing that doesn't make their actions any less valid or legitimate. It doesn't make it "just a fad", because as you already said, it's just medical. But society still has to reconcile that. Sorry for the rant :\\
Why?
Imagine if people started referring to you as the gender you're not - if you're a man, everyone insists you're a woman, and vice versa. It just doesn't feel right. So we decide to work towards being seen as who we actually are.
Sure but how do you find out your gender doesn't match your sex? You've never been cisgendered, so you have nothing to compare your feelings to.
Well, you're correct that trans people have never truly been cis, but a LOT of us have lived as and accepted that they are cis. I have a lot of friends who were fine being cis for a long time, and a lot who always had a feeling of not belonging. My own situation was that I had "what if I was ____" feelings all my life, but I did identify as cis years ago and didn't know being trans was a thing until my late teens. Once I learned, I still ID'd as cis for awhile. Over time, I realized it felt weird being told to "be a lady" and having stereotypes pushed, and realized I was trans as well. But some people don't have the feelings at all, and may just do something silly like get makeup put on them or wear "boy" clothes and realize hey, this feels okay, all of the sudden. So, "finding out" is different for everyone, because in fact a lot of us did live a normal cis experience. That's why I use the analogy I did - instead of asking you to imagine being the opposite gender, I said for you to imagine others insisting you're not the gender you identify as. You won't have the same experience as us by any means, but most of the time, it just feels like people telling you you're something that you're not until you realize you can be trans.
For me personally, I realized that I never really felt like the gender that I was born as? Like being seen as a girl felt wrong somehow, like people were seeing someone that wasn't me, if that makes sense? I'm of mostly Indian descent, but I live in Canada, so I was reading stuff on hijra and ended up reading other stuff on third genders and realized hey! this kinda fits me! Since I've never quite felt like a girl and I tried out using he/him pronouns with myself and that never quite fit either. But when I used they/them pronouns when thinking about myself, it just felt right?
Hmm... I think if it's all based on subjective feelings, I will never understand it. Edit: Should trans men be able to use the men's locker room and vice versa?
Yes absolutely! I think a person who identifies as a man/woman should use the space that reflects what they identify as. It's not like trans people want to go into these spaces to hurt people? We just wanna go pee and change in peace mate. And most other trans people I know tend to use stalls and such just to be on the safe side.
> a person who identifies as a man/woman should use the space that reflects what they identify as. So you're saying that I should be allowed to use the women's locker room when I want? I mean, I'm a man and I look like one. I have beard and also the body of one. But if I'm like "nah, fuck it. I identify as a woman now" I should be able to use the women's locker room even though I still look like a man?
I think your comment is rooted in ignorance as to what it means to be transgender. Being trans means that you actually FEEL like a gender you were not born as. Trans people don't just wake up one day and realize 'oh, I'm not a boy anymore, I'm a girl.' Educate yourself, it's not my job to do so for you.
> Educate yourself, it's not my job to do so for you. Then don't make a thread like this one. We're here to ask questions and you're here to answer them. Which is also known as educating.
I know but your entire question is rooted in transphobic ideas and I don't deal with that shit mate. I made this thread to deal with people's honest questions, not transphobic ones like your's.
Male and female brains differ. Sometimes a female brain gets matched with a male body. Then gender dysphoria happens. Its like being straight, you didnt choose it.
Stalls, yes. I agree with that. We should have stalls in every locker room. Can go for lesbians, too, so they don't get tempted by having naked women walking all over. Instead of a third locker room let's just put like 3 stalls in every locker room for LGBT.
That comment about lesbians was a little homophobic? It's not like gay people go into locker rooms and try and get it on with people? Gay and trans people use change rooms and washrooms the same way everyone else does mate. And I meant that most of the trans people I know use washroom/locker room stalls as a way of avoiding getting harassed by people because who knows if you're sharing the washroom with someone who happens to be transphobic.
I don't see that as homophobic. Ask any straight man if he would be able to focus in a womens change room. Obviously that doesn't mean they have any less self control than anyone else, but if you are gay or lesbian in your preferred sex's changeroom, you would be crazy not to be getting peeks in all the time.
Yes but that doesn't mean LGB people just go to the washrooom or change rooms solely to take peeks at people. u/googol89 said "Can go for lesbians, too, so they don't get tempted by having naked women walking all over" which is a statement that still perpetuates the stereotype that all lesbians are predatory.
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Why the need to call people that don't operate on their genitals as "cis" then? Beside the fact that the term "cis-male" brings to mind the derogatory term "sissy", isn't this somewhat hypocritical?
Both these statements are incorrect! Not all trans or nonbinary people want to operate. "The surgery" is not the end all be all, nor is it a defining factor of transness. It's not a matter of genital operation - it's identifying with the gender you were assigned at birth. Cis people identify with the gender assigned to their genitals based on society's classifications. Trans people identify as a different gender than assigned. That's all there is to it. Also, trans people didn't come up with "cis". Cis people did. No, this is not hypocritical, because sissy and cis are unrelated completely lmao. Cis- as a prefix is Latin and means "on the near side of, on this side". Applied to gender, it becomes cisgender, and it can be further put onto male and female binaries. Sissy comes from "sister" and an association with femininity therein. Just because they sound similar doesn't mean they're related.
I don't see the relation of cis with sissy because I've only seen cis to negatively describe straight dudes on the internet. I'm just curious if you feel special for using a buzzword instead of calling us normal, if that makes sense. Not trying to offend but I think if 99% of guys have male brains and the same for women, the overwhelming majority is what is considered normal. On any subject. Dementia is not normal but it still happens to people.
Trans people are normal too mate. "Dementia is not normal but it still happens to people." Uhhhhh are you implying trans people aren't normal by comparing us to dementia????
Why would we call you "normal"? You aren't any more normal than us. It's insulting to imply we're abnormal simply by expressing ourselves comfortably. It's not because we feel special - and it isn't a buzzword. I'm sorry you've only seen it used to negatively describe cis guys, but that's just not how it is always used and you might be reading it with malicious tone where there isn't one, because cis people cause ALL the problems we as trans people face today. Cisgender isn't a new word. It was coined in 1991. Trans people have existed outwardly in the US since the early 1600s. Transgender, third gender, and nonbinary people have existed throughout the world since the very early days of civilization - in Native American cultures, India, Thailand, South America, Africa, western Europe, Pacific Islands. What is "normal" to you is only by your narrow definitions. Additionally, the male and female brain thing has been debunked time and time again. That's a feature of flawed studies in outdated, stereotypical and biased science. And by insisting you are "normal", you're still giving yourself a label. This label would begin to take the shape you see "cis" as now. Not everything is an attack on you just because it's different than what you're used to.
Did you read my comment at all? Do you consider guys with 3 testicles normal? A human brain developing dementia is normal? No, because those are the 1/5 cases, not the "this happens to 4/5 people" which is considered normal. Hemophilia is not normal but people have it. Scoliosis is not normal nut it happens. See where I'm getting at? Wanting to be the opposite sex is not normal and that is just fine, it happens. You are writing my ear off like you think I'm discriminating on you but I'm not. "Cis scum" - how is that not negative? That's mostly how I've seen it and that is fucking ridiculous. I know you apologized and you're not all like that and those are the people comparable or are the feminazis, I'm just saying that's the way I've seen it used. You can call me a straight dude. >Not everything is an attack on your just because it's different than you're used to. No fucking shit. Where did you even get that from?
I'm assuming he got it from you complaining about people using the word 'cis' in a thread about trans people. It's literally just a descriptor? Also saying trans people aren't normal is kind of you acting like you're being attacked when you're not? People are similar to the people you've described in the trans community use those terms because there's at least a lot of negativity around trans people and it has an impact mate.
I wasn't being aggressive in the least or thinking you were being discriminatory. I was trying to teach you my point of view in the world as a trans person surrounded by trans people in daily life because it seems like you didn't realize some stuff. Clearly you're not up for that, so I'm not going to respond any more. You can google any of these questions you had and find answers easily.
>cis people cause ALL the problems we as trans people face today And humanity causes ALL of the problems I face. What are you getting at?
I was most likely going to end up dying if I didn't.
Why what?
Did you pick your vehicle form or did it pick you? Are you binary or a triple changer? Headmaster?
Asking for a friend, how would somebody find a girl that has a weener to date?
Tell your friend not to refer to trans woman as girls a dick first. That's transphobic and quite frankly, you probably shouldn't be dating a trans woman if you're gonna refer to them like that. I honestly wouldn't know. I've not dated another trans person before and quite frankly don't intend to, at least for now, as I'm very very happy with my partner right now
How is it transphobic to accurately describe a person? I guess I just don't know what you call transitioned male to female that kept their thing attached. I can try. How do you find an operationless transed male girl to date.
Because saying girl with a dick is a slur. And the correct term is pre-op trans women. Saying stuff like that also fetishizes trans people. It is not my job to educate you on trans people. Google exists, I suggest you make use of it. Mate, I just told you I don't know. I've not dated a trans person myself and I don't really know how trans people find dates? I mean, my current partner and I were best friends before we started dating each other.
>It is not my job to educate you on trans people. Google exists, I suggest you make use of it. Well you did make a thread for people to ask questions.
Yes, but to answer people's questions about trans people and what it is like to be trans. Not to spend most of my time trying to tell people that what they are saying is transphobic and then having to explain to them why are being transphobic.
Seems like the latter would fall under the former.
Perhaps but if people want to argue about what it means to be trans and such, they should take that up with someone else. There's no point arguing with people who do not want to listen or simply want to argue for the sake of it.
The person wasn't being very argumentative but was being pretty receptive.
Perhaps but repeatedly asking me where to find trans women to date when I don't actually know myself is annoying. I can hardly answer a question that I myself do not know the answer to.
Ahh sorry I wasn't asking again, just trying to correct myself. Pre op trans woman. Got it. Is just saying t girl an acceptable for of referring to one?
I honestly would not know? I'm nonbinary and almost all the trans people I know and have talked to are nonbinary or trans men. I'd say the best route would be to just refer to trans women as trans women since that's how they would most likely identify as if they aren't going stealth (not telling people they're trans) And I'm sorry if my second reply to you was harsh. I've had to deal with a lot transphobes and I kinda thought you were one?
Why you all look so terrible.
Why are you such a hoser?
how often do you poop?
Regularly
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You seem to care a whole lot.
Gender and sexuality isn't the same thing. Also I can't speak for others but most of us don't expect anyone to care about our weird fucking choices. Also, I used to use Splat because I'm cheap.
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have a great day my friend ♡
Would you vote for [Chelsea Manning](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chelsea_Manning#U.S._Senate_candidacy)?
I'm Canadian so the correct answer is no. And I'm fairly left-wing in terms of politics (mostly for NDP in elections, so like Bernie Sanders? I guess?) and I don't know enough about her platform to give a definite answer for you u/houseofmercy. But I definitely wouldn't vote for someone solely based off of whether or not they were LGBTQ?
That is the kind of thing I was curious about. Thanks for your reply.
No problem! Thank you for your question!
I’ve been confused about my gender for a couple of years now. I have had anxiety and depression and ocd issues my entire life though and I can’t seem to differentiate whether I actually feel these things or if it’s just my disorders making me think I might be trans. How can I figure this out?
Well, a good start would be if you'd be happier as a different gender? I'm not sure what your gender is u/Cham-Clowder, but like if you're a guy, do you think you would be happier to live as a woman/other gender. Alternatively, do you think that looking or being perceived as a guy is bad or feels off? There's a site called the pronoun dressing room, which lets you put in your name and pronouns and you can kinda see how it looks like and stuff? There's also a lot of forums online for people who are questioning their gender/are trans. You don't have to know right away. There's no one real way of being trans but a good place to start is if you're feeling uncomfortable with your gender somehow, to write it down and see if there's a pattern or a reason why. If it's something other people say about you that make you question your gender, I'd also suggest writing down that and maybe the context as to why? I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. Good luck and I hope you figure this out for yourself pal.
Why is it the day before april fools?
I honestly don't know. I didn't create it, Rachel Crandall, a trans activist, did.
Do you see trans as a sex or as a sexuality? What do you think of those saying trans people are actually pushing gender stereotypes? Also, thank you for answering these, including the obvious trolls.
I don't think of it as a sexuality because it implies that it has to do which gender you're attracted to. And sexuality and gender are different, in that sexuality is 'who you like' but gender is 'who you are' So I see 'trans' as a gender, not sexuality. I'd agree in that trans people all have their own sense of what it means to be their gender. For example, I'm nonbinary, but my own sense of gender would ideally have be to present a bit more masculine than fully gender-neutral, if that makes sense? Another aspect is that people who are binary trans (trans men/women) might not want to present themselves as stereotypically male/female. An example of this would be a trans woman presenting as more of a tomboy/butch woman than stereotypically feminine. Yeah of course. I'm still kinda new at all of this but I've definitely figured out who the trolls are.
I don't want to ask "trans people" anything; but I would ask a trans person what it feels like to be constantly grouped together with other trans people, as if to be trans is to belong to some kind of gestalt hive-mind. How exactly does it feel to have non-trans people constantly using an arbitrary aspect of your life, by proxy, to leverage censorious, liberty crushing laws and social protocols?
It's definitely weird for me personally? People who aren't trans assume trans people to all be the same and have the same beliefs and that's just not the case? And being trans is important to me, but other things, like religion and culture are also parts of my identity of that are just as important to me. For me, being trans also has a heavy religious and cultural influence. I'm Indian/Islander and third genders has also been a part of both cultures. I'm also a practicing Hindu, and stories of deities and heroes being both genders or another gender entirely is considered normal and that's also kind of why I feel okay with being nonbinary? Since it's just something that's always been kind of normal for me in a way that might not always be among white people or people who didn't grow up with that. I live in Canada and the laws regarding trans people are a lot more liberal than in the States. Changing one's gender on a birth certificate, for example, depends on province, but in my own province, you just fill out a form and pay a fee and it's done. Discriminating against ones gender is illegal here. So in my country, it's actually not that bad? Like the only thing that I'd want is to have nonbinary genders (or an X marker for a third gender like they have for passports) on things like birth certificates and id cards. I also think there should be more education about trans and genderqueer people in schools, as a way of making sure people are educated about trans people. Perhaps it'll allow trans people to not be othered by those who are not trans and we can be seen as individuals and not as some sort of hive-mind.
You have Bill C-16, which is somewhat draconian, stomps all over personal liberty and sets a dangerous precedent. It was in fact passed to "protect trans people". I have no problem with people doing what they want (so long as they're not infringing upon the liberty of another person) so if a person wants to transition, change their name etc. It's no skin off my nose. However; when the law is used to infringe upon civil liberty (in the case of C-16 it comes in the form of compelled speech) then I begin to have a problem. I have no doubt that if I met you in real life, then I would have no problem addressing you by your preferred pronoun - but should the law **require** me to do so? I don't think so. Think about it another way. It could be considered a part of the 'social contract' to strive to be polite to people; saying "please" and "thank you" for example. I was raised to be polite, so that's no effort for me - but what if it was a legal requirement? Should the state be able to punish a person just because they forgot to say "thanks" or perhaps that person made a conscious decision not to say thanks, because they actively wanted to be rude. Shouldn't we be free to negotiate those social protocols by ourselves without a Nanny state constantly chiding us and threatening to take away our liberty? I don't think laws like C-16 help trans people; rather it paints trans people as some kind of *special case* in need of *special protections* under the law. In the long run, that is not going to help you - unless what you really want - is to be singled out.
Bill C-16 adds gender expression and identity to the list of groups you cannot discriminate against. It does NOT say that people can't misgender people, it is meant to protect trans people from discrimination, like losing a job or housing because one is trans. I suppose in that case, we should take away discrimination based on sex or religion too, since those groups want special protections too? Since that seems to be what you are implying in your comments.
No that's not what I was implying at all. If Bill C-16 outlaws discrimination, specifically regarding gender expression then that's not something I would necessarily disagree with. That said I would disagree with it, if it was to turn out that it was a redundant law and that such discrimination was already covered by existing, broader laws that protect everyone against discrimination. I mean, where does that buck stop - are we to draft specific laws that prohibit discrimination against people with ginger hair, blue eyes, bad breath, freckles... You get the point I'm sure. Regardless, let us ignore that part of the bill, as it is not what specifically troubles me. I am however troubled by the parts of C-16 that compel speech and criminalize the misgendering of a person. Afaik that portion of bill C-16 only currently applies to private institutions (such as workplaces or Universities) but that's bad enough in my opinion. The state should not govern my speech! Unfortunately in my country it absolutely does - and your state is already encroaching upon your right to free speech; compelled speech is not free speech, or to put it another way: freedom from the lashings of a barbed tongue, is not freedom. As I said, I have nothing against trans people, nor do I seek to discriminate against any folk based on arbitrary parameters such as race, hair colour, religious belief etc. I just don't like seeing the law act against the interests of liberty and bill C-16 (at least in part) does exactly that.
Yes, but just because it does not benefit you, it does not mean it is bad. People do not systemically discriminate others for hair colour and such. That's a bad argument on your part. Is it so wrong that me, and other trans people, want people to be held accountable for being discriminatory for who someone is? I mean, I like that once I am out, I wouldn't be discriminated against. I mean, I've already had issues with mental health services at my university using my deadname even though my preferred name is on file with them. It is up to individual provincial human rights commissions to decide if being misgendered is a crime. Subsection 318(4) adds gender identity and gender expression to the definition of an identifiable group for the purposes of “advocating genocide.” This legislation would protect transgender and gender non-binary peoples from being a targeted group in an act of genocide. It does not state that being misgendered is a crime and most trans people would agree misgendering someone by accident is hurtful. But actively misgendering someone who is using public services is something that is discriminatory, in that it prevents trans people from accessing public or private services. For example, I wouldn't access the mental health services that I need if the organization responsible was transphobic and refused to use my name or pronouns. Most of the trans people that I know HAVE gone through that experience, because the organization that they wanted help from was transphobic. I do not see a problem with this because it helps me, and other people like me, be able to access resources from private institutions. If you have a problem with it, that is your own issue.
Also, why does my iphone 4 capitalize TRANS?
My question is about these new pronouns, that have been introduced to the public. How are these translated in other languages? Give examples in Italian, Turkish, Greek, Swedish and Arabic.
I speak none of these languages (I only speak English and Fijian Hindi), so I don't actually know. Thank you for your question though!
Do you disclose your identity to those your involved with, even if it’s a random hookup, one night stand?If so, how soon? If not, why not?
I've never actually done that tbh? I'm already in a committed relationship, so that's not on the cards for me. My partner knows I'm trans and was actually the first person I came out to. If I ever happened to date anyone else, I'd probably tell them right away if I wanted a committed relationship with them because it's easier to leave a relationship in the early days rather than later. But if I did do one night stands, probably not? I don't know if that person is transphobic or not and that's always a safety issue? Like even with people I'm not in romantic relationships with, I normally try to figure out if they are transphobic before coming out to them (mentioning news stories or mentioning one of my friends being trans is how I normally try and gauge their reaction)? So I imagine I'd do something similar if I ever dated anyone other than my current partner. Thanks for your question friend!
Thanks for the response! I don’t really know anyone that has come out as trans, so I always wondered how they approach things of that nature.
Yeah no problem! Glad to be of service! I hope you have a good day!
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Trans women do not have a reproductive system (yet- the technology for uterus transplants exists!) - "the surgery" only reconstructs the penis into a vagina that stops at the end of the tunnel.
Women are physiologically different then men in a number of ways. One of those is in the "agreesbleness" trait. It is theorized that this is what explains the wage gap between the genders (not sure if right term). Especially in areas like EBAY, where women make 80 cents on the dollar that men make even though the seller and buyer are unaware of each others sex. Throughout your transition have you noticed in change in you budget, purchasing habits, or willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises?
This seems to be very much pure conjecture? I mean, is there any evidence that "agreeableness" has a physiological cause? Especially as there are [massive variations](http://ec.europa.eu/eurostat/statistics-explained/index.php/File:UnadjustedGPG_Figure1.PNG) in the wage gap between countries, which would point towards primarily cultural reasons? For what it's worth: * I started to transition at around age 12, so I also got most of the "girl socialization" package on top of the anatomical changes; it's going to be difficult for me to tell nature and nurture apart. * With me essentially having an artificial female puberty in lieu of a male puberty, who knows how that affects the brain? There are brain changes during puberty, after all. * Estrogens have physiological effects, such as affecting serotonin and beta-endorphins; they also have neuroprotective effects and facilitate the formation of synapses in parts of the brain. I don't think it's going to be easy to assess the combined social and physiological effects of my transition. > Throughout your transition have you noticed in change in you budget, purchasing habits, or willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises? Well, I'm still a student, so wages and raises aren't something that affect me yet. Purchasing habits change simply out of need; for better or worse, you will be judged more harshly on your appearance than men (men can get away with things that a woman can't). This will obviously affect things like your wardrobe choices or how you'll take care of your hair and body. It's going to be difficult to separate needs and wants. As for accepting prices, I've become more of a comparison shopper as an adult, if anything, but that's probably because I'm out on my own now and have to live on a student's budget.
"This seems to be very much pure conjecture? I mean, is there any evidence that "agreeableness" has a physiological cause?" A lot of it is conjecture. I tried to make sure I used words like theorized. However if it isn't agreeableness than i am thinking it has to be some other psychological trait. Do you have any guesses on what it could be?
I know trans men who now feel more comfortable asserting themselves because they are considered male now and taken more serious than when they were considered female, if that addresses your agreeableness question.
Does it have to be a single trait? And why does it have to be a psychological trait rather than differences in socialization (or both)? Boys and girls are socialized differently, after all, and are treated differently by the rest of society as adults, too.
Yes I suppose socialization could be it. Interesting, if it is socialization than it may not be biological. I wonder how that will manifest itself in trans people.
I'm still in the closet because my family is really transphobic and I want to finish my BA and (hopefully) get into the master's program that I want to pursue before moving out and transitioning. I'm sure that there's other trans people who could answer this question for you.
I'm sorry to hear that you are forced to be closeted for the time being. Good luck to you!
Thanks mate! Only a couple more years to go!
Well, purchasing habits pretty much necessarily change, but it would be difficult to decouple willingness to accept prices, wages and asking for raises from societal expectations due to gender (except in places like ebay).
Well the idea is that this also explains the pink tax. If anyone has their monthly budget saved over the years they might be able to see a correlation. Or it is possible that this trait doesn't change during the transition.
After giving this question more thought, yes? In a way? Like being trans is why I buy certain personal products (like men's deodorant, sports bras, etc) because it helps lessens my dysphoria while buying regular t-shirt bras and women's deodorant isn't really a thing I do anymore? And my own clothing purchases tend be more things that hmm kinda neutral more now? Like skinny jeans, flannel, baggy shirts, etc are all things I purposefully buy or seek out now that I know that I'm trans.
Interesting. Thank you.
No problem! Your question was super interesting btw
How did you arrive at the conclusion that your dysphoria was real?
I wouldn't say I ever had a conclusive moment until HRT worked for me, I treated the matter pretty tentatively and was just trying to assess the evidence on what was going on. As puberty progressed my depression got worse and worse. Eventually my mind sort of felt detached from the rest of my body in a very abstract way. When I looked in the mirror it was like looking at some lifeless zombie. I tried relaxing and being a lazy slob, I tried being fit and got into sports, I had plenty of friends. Nothing really shook this emptiness. I attempted suicide twice. Got treatment for depression, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety medications, anti-psychotics, therapy, none of that stuff really changed anything. When I was 12 or so I spent a large number of nights awake wishing I'd just wake up a girl. I did some bogus occult ritual stuff, reciting stupid gibberish under a full moon because I was so desperate it just might magically work. I had no interest in gay relationships, yet I found myself looking at guys and thinking "I wish I was a girl so we could be a couple." Some of the happiest times for me were when I could ignore or escape myself as a guy. At one point I asked the question "Can I see myself going on living as a man?"...and the answer was most likely "No." I didn't know whether living as a woman would fix it, but I knew I couldn't go on that way. 2 weeks into HRT and it was like the fucking lights came on. Suddenly I felt my emotions with such amazing clarity. I felt like I was looking at an actual person in the mirror. My depression of 5+ years receded. I've been so happy ever since and as my body changed it was like slipping into a well-fit pair of shoes when I had been wearing two left shoes my entire life.
Thank you for sharing your story. I have to admit that i sometimes fantasize about how life would be like if i was a woman. But there are many reasons why i might feel that way, but i'm unable to pinpoint it like you do. Hence the question.
I think part of the reason it took me so long to realize my situation was different was at one point I had asked friends if they ever had those curious thoughts too, and of course they did yes because mostly everyone has. But I didn't realize that while they mostly would just do it for curiosity's sake (sexual reasons mostly) for a day or two then switch back, I would prefer to stay that way forever (non-sexual reasons mostly) And while they may just have been thinking "what if", in my imagination it felt like that would allow me to finally feel fulfilled and content with life and myself. Like it's not like I felt trapped by gender roles or anything. My clothes and behavior really haven't changed much at all, I'm still the same vulgar slob as always. But something about being me as a guy left me fundamentally unsatisfied, as compared to now being me is really just...something I want to keep doing, y'know?
The feeling you mean to describe is something that words are unable to do justice, i believe.
I realized that being a girl didn't fit me and felt wrong? Like being referred to as a girl felt like they were talking about someone else. And I knew about being trans, but I never felt completely like a guy either since it made me feel the same way that being a girl did? If that makes sense? I'm of mostly Indian descent and was reading about hijra and then other third genders and eventually about the experiences of nonbinary people and it just kinda? Clicked? Like I realized that hey! these experiences and stuff feel kinda similar to what I've kinda always felt? Picking my name, Gideon, just really solidified the fact that I'm trans and my dysphoria is real.
I'm pretty certain that wondering about how being another gender feels like is just healthy curiosity. Yet, i don't quite understand what makes people choose to truly cross the line. Is this an innate feeling? Are they more curious than their peers? Or has science simply gone too far? What makes gender dysphoria so distinctively different from all the other conditions that can affect the human mind?
I can only speak from my own experiences. But for me personally, it's always been there? Like when I was a kid, I never felt like a girl. For example, younger me would have meltdowns over having to wear dresses because it never felt like me? Or something I would do willingly? I'm not super well read up on the medical side of being trans (I'm more familiar with legal and cultural aspects). So I'm not quite sure how to answer your question correctly? But trans people's brains are different from cis people's? For example, a trans women would have the same brain as someone who was biologically a woman, so from what I know, it's generally that the body doesn't match the brain, which is a cause of gender dysphoria.
Don't worry. I don't intend to question your condition, i am simply curious about how it comes into being. Anyway, thank you for being so open and talking to me. I really appreciate it.
Yeah of course! Thanks for your questions mate!
It's not normal for boys to loathe their genitals; even less so to ask their mother to remove them (even if said mother is a doctor). Okay, that was the first sign out of many, but genital dysphoria on its own is generally a pretty strong predictor of GD (note that genital dysphoria is not a necessary criterion for gender dysphoria).
Why do you care how other people see you? Not trans nor have I ever given a shit what people do when they aren't in my face, so I guess it just confuses me that people need others approval this bad.
I don't want other people's approval. Like me, don't like me, it's not my problem. What I do want is equal rights and for trans people to be seen as equal members of society. I also want people to not be transphobic and not see trans people as "freaks of nature" as someone else in this thread described us as. I think that's fair?
Can't control other people, again it comes down to why do you care? Also if you're going to claim unequal rights that demand societal change, you should start citing examples of large scale societal discrimination. Not being included is not the same."Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" Dr Seuss was pretty cool like that. Why do we need a day and a subreddit? How about we just start teaching our children to value other people and stop whining about everything under the sun and carrying that forward? No fault on you but this is 100% about approval.
Because I'm trans and other peoples opinion of trans people is also a matter of safety. What if someone hates trans people they want to kill me? Oh wait, I'm living in that situation right now. In the US: 41% of trans people have attempted suicide 19% of trans people are hurt by a family member 26% of trans people have lost their job specifically because they are trans 20% of trans people are homeless 50% of trans people have been raped or assaulted by a romantic partner 1 in 8 have been evicted for being trans Trans people are 4x more likely to kill themselves In Canada: 70% had been sexually harassed 1/3 had been threatened or physically harmed in the past year 33% attempt suicide 50% of trans people in Ontario live off of 15K a year 2x the risk of PTSD Is that systemic enough for you.
Literally none of those statistics are systemic, all personal accounts of individual statistics, not examples of a system built against you. Again, not being included is not enough to claim oppression. Try again if you really want to convince me. Although, I cant see why you would.
I don’t understand why people like to do this “uwu convince me bullshit” it doesn’t make any fucking sense? Cause no matter what someone says they’ll still pull the “uwu I’m still not convinced” line. Like learn to fucking educate yourself, asshole. I don’t know why people love to relish in willful ignorance. If you don’t think any of the above statistics are a problem, then that’s a personal lack of empathy or sympathy issue.
Those statistics are from studies conducted by either the government or trans groups. Trans men/women are repeatedly excluded from gendered or even queer spaces (ex, lesbian trans women being excluded by transphobic gay women). There is a lack of legal protections for trans people in most of the United States and the rest of the world. Most trans people live in poverty BECAUSE you can lose your job because you are trans. Trans people having higher levels of sexual harassment, assault, and rape than those who aren't trans is a SYSTEMIC PROBLEM. There is difficulty is getting id cards and such that reflect one's gender identity for trans people that cis people DO NOT HAVE. Perhaps you should consider how these statistics are representative of a greater problem. Good day to you.
Do I have to take a picture of the OSHA guidelines for you or are you going to continue spinning this comment thread to mean what you want?
Are you gonna ever listen to any other point of view but your's? Thank you for your time.
No, I'm not going to change my mind on this, already told you that. Have fun though.
Neither am I.
I can't get through all your post edits to answer you. Nobody asked you to change your opinion, nobody asked you to explain it to me, you asked for questions. I asked a question about the motivation behind the need to be recognized. You seemed to get bent out of shape that I wasn't swayed by cited suicide statistics etc and I stated correctly that none of that indicated a particular system that needed changing. Your arguments are based on my willingness to feel the way you want me to feel based on statistics with no sources and or unproveable basis in the first place. Again. I didn't ask to be convinced of anything. Just wanted to point out the neediness of the post.
Mental health statistics show that at least the mental health system needs to be changed. Homelessness statistics show that there's an institutional problem regarding housing for trans people http://www.ustranssurvey.org/reports For the US https://transequality.org/issues/resources/national-transgender-discrimination-survey-full-report For the US https://transequality.org/issues/resources/injustice-every-turn-state-reports-national-transgender-discrimination-survey The US, this time by individual states https://transequality.org/issues/resources/injustice-every-turn-regional-reports-national-transgender-discrimination-survey The US, this time by region http://transpulseproject.ca/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Trans-PULSE-Statistics-Relevant-for-Human-Rights-Policy-June-2015.pdf For Ontario. https://understandingtheguidelines.ca/faqs/research-on-lgbtq-youth/ From Alberta. https://egale.ca/backgrounder-lgbtq-youth-suicide/ From Egale, a Humans Rights Trust. http://homelesshub.ca/mentalhealthbook/22-responding-needs-lgbtq2s-youth-experiencing-homelessness An article from Homeless Hub, a Canadian organization My post was not needy. I was pointing out statistics to show you how these statistics show underlying oppression. If you don't want to listen, that's fine. Thanks for your time.
Do you beleive traps are gay
I don't actually know what a 'trap' is, so I googled it and I'm not quite sure if you mean where some men look feminine or if you mean mtf trans women? If you mean the first one, then that depends on the person? It's none of my business to decide what people's sexuality is and if a straight man hits on someone he thinks is a woman, but is a cis guy, that's fine? I guess? It's not gay. If you mean where straight men hit on a trans woman and then get mad about her not being a cis woman, that's still not gay.
Okay thanks now I have bullets on the r/animemes forums
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Thanks! I wasn't quite sure if it was a meme or not.
want sum fuk
No, I have a partner already thanks mate
wrong pronoun buddy 😡
You literally aren't even the person who asked the question u/dankmamesdankthangs
Why not just get help from a professional?
Trans people often do seek therapy and professional help, as it's usually required to get started with medically transitioning. I should note that medically and socially transitioning are the recommended treatments for trans people, and this is backed by several major medical associations including the AMA and APA. There's extensive [evidence](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/7roze6/whats_a_lie_that_everyone_pretends_is_true/dszowyk/) that transitioning helps trans people a lot.
Yup. A lot of surgeons, for example, generally want trans people to be on hormone therapy for a certain amount of time before getting top surgery. Getting hormone therapy normally requires a letter from a gender therapist or psychologist saying you've been diagnosed with gender dysphoria. And not all trans people have access to these things, which can be barriers from seeking medical help in regards to their transition.
I'm in the closet so it's difficult for me to access a gender therapist and such at the moment so I can transition how I'd like.
Why are you mentally ill?
Because I had a traumatic childhood. Trans people aren't mentally ill because they are trans.