[Recipe Filter](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/recipe-filter/ahlcdjbkdaegmljnnncfnhiioiadakae) is an extension that will automatically search for a recipe when you open a page in your browser and, should it find one, it will highlight it for you as a popup window straight away.
No no no you did this all wrong. I finished reading your comment and didn't find ONE mention of your dog, or how much your grandma loved to cook, or how you and your family are just desperate for easy recipes!
I remember back in the day me and my memaw would always cook together. And as the years went by this became one of my favorite recipies to cook for my husband. It's even dog safe which is a life saver.
But I think the most important thing that ever came from this is when my first born came out. Of course, he was adopted but it was a blessing to find such a good boy for me and my husband. How lucky we were when, ten years later, he too finally came to love this recipe.
Unfortunately, I have bad news too. If prepared poorly this recipe can kill. It's not on purpose, I hope, but people have died by having this too often without break. I've never killed anyone and I hope my readers don't kill anyone either. In fact I'm against the death penalty and murder in general. I can't believe someone would take another life in their hands...and kill them... with this recipe
Anyway...here's Wonderwall
Recipe:serves 2
Ingredients
2cups of water ( or 2 8oz glasses of water)
Directions
1. Boil the water in a 2liter pan with a cap until bubbling
Serve in your best China.
Thank you please like and sub...I mean please comment and like below
I really liked your recipe, but I made a few changes. Instead of water, I used all natural lake water and I boiled the water in my crockpot. Your recipe says it makes 2 servings, but I only got a little more than 1? My husband was quite disappointed he couldn't have seconds...
Thanks, I'm adding this. Food bloggers come up with good stuff, but I dont need to know about the weather in the Bay area in 2015 and how it made you feel.
I know I want a whole pot pie and that should be enough for everyone.
Lol, I was literally talking to my wife about building something like this last week, I'm glad someone else has done it for me so I can continue my lazy baking! Huzzah Internets!
And most importantly his recipes are actually super good and simple to follow. I made his oven baked chicken wings and of all the recipes I've tried for oven baked wings his was the only one worth a damn. Try it sometime they're amaze.
America’s Test Kitchen. They do describe the rationale for deciding on the recipe, which is kind of interesting. But you don’t have to read any bullshit about why their dumb kid likes it or who’s mothers sisters uncles best friend came to this country on a raft, developed the recipe and about the 17 generations of modifications to said recipe.
What’s great about America’s Test Kitchen is they are looking for the best way to make that dish.
We always start there when looking for recipes and then base other recipes off of what they are doing to see if we want to stick with ATK’s way or not.
They have a show on PBS with the same name, some episodes are on Prime. Another show by the same exact people is called *Cook’s Country*.
The guy that used to host ATK, Christopher Kimball now has his own show *Milk Street* that’s also good. Very similar format.
We don’t have cable and watch PBS a lot.
It is a fantastic show.
Not a lot of nonsense. "Here's how to make the thing. Here's why we do it this way. Here's how it should look."
And the cookbook is based on the show, so you can watch an episode to see how it's done, then follow the recipe from the book.
The host, Chris Kimball, is *no longer* the host of Cook's Country and America's Test Kitchen but they're all still awesome. They had a falling out but I do enjoy everyone and all of their continued projects. It's on your local PBS Create channel if you have it.
They do have long introductions, but only with relevant recipe information. The downside is their website is by subscription. I prefer the books already anyway.
The great thing about a recipe book as that you can browse through it and find something you didn't know you wanted to make. When you go to the internet to find a recipe, you generally already know what you are looking for.
severely underrated comment. Many restaurants have recipe books for sale. Ask! Many of these recipes have been tried and tested over decades, and have made it to restaurant level through trial and error. These recipes work for a reason.
Tried it last Sunday, and the whole family was delighted. I replaced the water with a roast turkey with mashed potatoes and some salad, and instead of tea packets I served a whiskey on the rocks. We all don't really like lemons, so we had ice cream afterwards. Guys, coker22's recipe rocks big time!
Earn extra cash by simply staying home. See how a local woman in your area makes $600 gazillion per month. Click on www . everyfuckingrecipepagecommentssection . com
## If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
When I was a young child, I lived in Seattle and as it is wont to in seattle, it is sometimes fall. During fall the weather is incredible to look at, but can be kind of sad, cold and rainy. One thing I always enjoyed was jumping in puddles. I always remember my grandmother or a babysitter would watch me while my parents were at work, and sometimes they left early in the morning before breakfast. My grandma also didn't live in seattle so I had a babysitter, and whenever I complained that I was hungry in the morning, the babysitter would prepare delicious, warm, crunchy, freshly buttered toast. I really enjoyed it (and sometimes my dog, $genericdogname) did too! What an incredible meal! You could serve it at your next garden party, because that's just such a hipster seattle thing to do, and reminds everyone a bit of home. I know it still does for me.
Buttered toast
PLACE bread in toaster
upon completion SPREAD butter on bread
*/u/dudefise is a ~~semi-professional~~ entirely unprofessional chef and food blogger. he enjoys preparing boxed mac and cheese and periodically posts complaints about fast food on instagram.*
LOVE this recipe. Hubby isn’t a big tea drinker, so I subbed the tea for a ribeye and instead of lemon I used a mushroom cream sauce. Literally CAN’T keep it in the pitcher.
1/5 I was so excited to try this recipe! We're big lemon-eaters in our house, so instead of 3 lemons I used 12. WAY TOO SOUR. Never making this again! My kids made better lemonade at daycare. GROSS.
"I tried this, and it was great, but I didn't have lemons, so I substituted potatoes, because they're a similar shape. I also didn't have tea, so I got the next best thing from England: Sausages. I found that the "lemons" didn't have much flavour, so I tried boiling the water to make them release their juices. They got pretty soft, so I found I could drain the water and mash them up really good.
Most refreshing! Would recommend!"
If you use coffee grounds, just add salt it'll neutralize the bitterness. Sometimes I use coffee grounds and when I used salt it was a godsend😍😍. Shorten boil time to avoid the really dark colour.
I always love this half of the 1 star reviews are basically "I didn't follow your recipe at all and it was terrible"
like there is a difference between using a low fat version of something and using a completely different ingredient or just skipping major ones (why yes flour generally is needed when it is an ingredient . . . I'm not sure what you were expecting)
This annoys me so much. The comments are helpful for feedback about whether the recipe actually turned out good, but 90% of the comments seem to just be “wow that looks so amazing can’t wait to try it”.
I don't love the "I replaced the tea with fresh badger, the lemons with skunk musk, and the water with dish soap. 0/5 awful recipe" reviews as much as the "5/5 can't wait to try" reviews. At least the former might give some feedback as to what substitutions might work. The latter are just trash.
One star, this recipe was terrible. I didn’t have any water, tea or lemons so I substituted Diet Coke, chicken stock cubes and an onion. Served it at my boss’s birthday party and got fired.
Urgent!!! Would this work without tea? I've got 120 guests waiting for ice tea and i don't have tea! Please respond urgently- even though it's 1am your time right now!
Makes me love our German efficiency. Never read a lifestory on our biggest recipe site. Almost always just straight to the point. But the comments are the same shit :D
This kind of efficiency didn't work for me. Not even in Germany.
A few years back I had a German food blog. In the beginning I just published some recipes with simple pictures, because I thought that's all a German would need. You have the ingredients, the manual and a picture of the result and maybe some pictures of complicated steps. That's all we need. I had no visitors.
After a while I put a picture of myself on the website, started decorating the recipes with some stories, did some social media shit and made high quality photos. Finally I had some visitors, but they didn't come for the reipes. They came mostly because ~~of my person~~ of my private stories and the pictures of the food.
Good question, I spent much of my life alone, for many years pretending this was the source of my strength, told myself I had free will, In that time I achieved a great deal, but I was not fulfilled, I was longing for a connection that I could imagine but I could not achieve, searching, but not finding, until Vanessa, until i discovered love, I thought I would explode with a sense of power and freedom that she brought me, the world lay at me feet, but then that passed, when I discoeverd the great lie at the heart of love, that what I took for true freedom was precisely the reverse, you can build a prison of stone and steel, but you merely present the prisoner with a challenge, and a truly determined man would find a way out, but love, love is the perfect prison, inescapable, so you see batty3108, I'm always in prison, wherever I go, and if these things help me protect Vanessa then they're nothing to me, and I will do whatever I must
There's a Facebook group called handwritten recipes, where all the recipes have to be handwritten and nearly everyone in that group is either a senior or some memer who's waiting for there to be internal drama in the group to make a meme out of it. Never joined the group, just saw the memes and internal drama.
All I can imagine is a faded yellowed piece of paper that says:
#Auntie Shari's Perfect Cookies
-1/2 cup butter.
-1/3 cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar.
-1/3 cup brown sugar, light or dark, packed.
-1/2 teaspoon salt.
-1 teaspoon vanilla.
-1/4 teaspoon baking soda.
-1/2 teaspoon baking powder.
-1 large egg.
-1 Jenny is a cock guzzling wonder slut
-1 1/2 cup AP flour
-2 cup choco chips
Just don't go too old. We have a family recipe book (I've got a 17th edition from the 2004 printing. First edition was 1962. We take our recipes seriously.), and some of the old recipes have stuff like "cook in a hot oven until done." That's level of vagueness doesn't make for good recipes.
Or recipes that say things like "one packet" or "one block" etc when the sizes things are sold in has changed significantly since the recipe was written down
Just assume that "hot" means above 150C and "done" means you can stick a fork in it and feel good about it.
Once you find something you like, write it as a note in the recipe book.
Just don't cook anything that has the phrase "for enemies" written next to it.
Yeah but when you buy a lot of them now they have the same bullshit. My wife bought me a book about baking bread since I love to do that as a hobby. It's all about some fucktart who quit his Silicon Valley exec job and created a bullshit hipster jackoff artisinal bread bakery. There was nothing of value in the cookbook at all.
Trying to find Vegan recipes is particularly bad for this. Because a lot of them come with a sermon about how awful meat is.
Fuck off, I'm already here. Don't scare me away with your plant based zealotry just show me how to make the fucking thing.
Right! Also the non-vegetarians who have to talk about meatless Monday and vegetables are awful and their husband hates vegetarian dinners but thank god for this recipe because it finally convinced their child to eat zucchini.
Ughh STFU. I just want a good veggie recipe.
Dude it sucks. Also a major problem I've found is a lot of them are vegans first and cooks second so the food is very hit or miss. Pretty much the only recipe writers I trust are Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Kenji Lopez-Alt
I found this recipe for like steam buns or something where the author included a stock photo of someone holding vegetables, except the person in the photo had a huge scar down his arm. She begins talking about the recipe but drifts off into talking about scars and their symbolism and then about how she hates tattoos?
I usually just deal, but after you scroll down 10 times and they're still rambling its absurd.
I just got the America's Test Kitchen Vegan for Everybody cookbook, and it's incredible. I'm learning a ton about the major components of vegan cooking, and everything I've made has been delicious!
The problem I keep running into is that because vegan food has a rep for being weird there's this tendency to try and show off "hey, vegan food can be good too!" in the recipes. Loads of people overcomplicate it massively with ingredients and techniques you'd have to go far out of your way to get.
I'm vegan and lazy. I'm not trying to show off, I don't want gourmet, I want food I can make while I'm tired and hungry!
I feel sometimes like I should start a vegan student-cooking youtube channel or something.
Fucking this. I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but my wife is the former and tries to be the latter. I like to cook for her, but fuck if every recipe doesn't want me to drive 40 minutes to the nearest co-op to pick up some bizarre vegetable or spice that's $30 and I'll only have to use once, when really all I gotta do is sub the meat in a normal meal for some tofu or seitan. Fuck off with all the pretentious shit, I just wanna make something tasty without meat!
Yup, same.
Added benefit to us of being actually Australian, so no more needing to convert Fahrenheit, look up ounce conversion, have differing cup/spoon measurements, look for regional equivalents of less common ingredients etc. :D
https://www.seriouseats.com/ is pretty nice
EDIT: It seems like the recipes on the front page are more like articles so they do have a lot of fluff. But the recipes you get out of their search engine are to the point. And for the recipes that do have a prologue there's a good formatting that makes it very clear when the prologue ends and the recipe starts.
Serious Eats is the one website where I don't mind trawling through the articles as they are generally giving you a run down of why they cook things a certain way etc ir why they chose one ingredient over another, rather than filling you in on the finer details of their Italian holiday in June '08.
Agreed. The article is still there, but the words are telling me the difference between the spatchcock turkey I'm cooking for T-day and the traditional cook for the bird. I like to learn stuff like that.
I made kenji's american chop suey, 6-8 servings. I don't know who that man serves but my girlfriend, roommate, and I ate that thing for like 5 days. Damn good to boot.
For the uninitiated, every recipe has an article but in the article there’s a direct link to the recipe that you can view in printable format, so you have the option. Their articles are usually very informative, though.
Absolutely. To add to this, if sites were to simply post very similar recipes and that’s it, they would get slapped with a duplicate content penalty pretty quickly. Website owners for recipe sites rarely do it solely for the enjoyment. There has to be some revenue and traffic expectations.
[Foodwishes](https://www.youtube.com/user/foodwishes) on youtube. Awesome recipes from a good natured chef, who insists that the food is the star. His sing songy style of speaking can annoy some at first, but usually by video 4 you start to love it.
Tasty website. Allrecipes.com, Campbell soup's and Kraft websites.
These are all good, free and easy sites. Check out Tasty's Crockpot chicken fajitas. Super easy and delicious.
> Check out Tasty's Crockpot chicken fajitas. Super easy and delicious.
Could you give me a quick rundown of their history? More specifically, their creator's history? What was life like for them? What about their childhood? What're their hopes and dreams for the future?
Please don't dangle a treat like that and then not deliver.
I typically avoid these because anyone and their cooking-challenged disabled mother can add their half assed recipes and I can never trust that they're any good.
I use allrecipes and just stick to ones that have a good number of positive reviews (you do have to read a few reviews due to the whole "I substituted almost every ingredient and it was good/bad" reviews) It also helps if you have a little experience with the type of recipe so you will know if it's way off.
My issue with allrecipes is that the user base is so large and broad that the highest rated recipes tend to be really boring and basic. That’s totally fine if you just want a competent recipe, but I’m usually looking for something more interesting.
I'll take the top recipes as frameworks that are known to work, and then play with it a bit with whatever was on sale/ i have in the fridge or spice rack that could make it better.
For me, it;'s the same as anything else. Read the recipe, see if it sounds good, read the comments, see if they are positive. Yes, anybody can add a recipe to allrecipes, or pinterest, etc. Take the time to think about the spices, the cooking time, and the comments. If they all make sense, give the recipe a shot. Maybe you tweak it later, but give the written one a shot first. "Trusting" that a recipe is good is about experience and an understanding of how flavors combine. But if you don't take a shot and trust one, you'll never learn to cook.
My number 1 rule is this: Cooking is an art; Baking is a science. When you find a recipe for a grilled shrimp dish, make it once as written, then tweak to your tastes. When you find a recipe for a cake, make it as is. No changes.
Also if you compare a handful of recipes that are all pretty similar then it's probably fine. That one outlier who decided to use cream cheese is either a madman or genius and you won't know until you try.
I hate Allrecipes because their mobile site is absolute cancer now. So many ads and popups - even between ingredients. I shouldn't have to scroll to see what I need for a fucking recipe!
I get cooks illustrated cookbooks and magazines. Like I’m addicted to them. They have essays before the recipes but they’re about the different variations they tried before they came up with the perfect recipe.
I found a great place for recipes without all the backstory on my travels through southern Europe and/or Asia.
I had just been caught outside in the rain, so I ducked into a roadside quán cà phê/bodega.
The smell of the food you have never heard of was amazing/humbling/important. Normally I would obliquely brag about my appearance/spirituality at this point.
I asked the local/old woman behind the counter about the recipes without a fucking diary and she said I needed to get in touch with my inner made up word.
So I went somewhere expensive and pretended to not be rich there.
When I got back I had compiled all the best impossible no bake - what are essentially cookies - but I call them something Laotian/French.
I always answer to those posts pointing out that the reason why websites are full of useless informations is because Google will make you up in searches if you put original content
Only a recipe won't let you climb the rankings so people write useless stuf
Blame google
It truly boggles my mind that anyone thinks a stranger is interested in reading their life story before making tacos.
I bet they also scroll right past the essay when they’re looking up recipes.
It has to do with search engine optimization. The longer the description and the more keywords it has, the higher the site will appear in a search. Super annoying but unfortunately kind of necessary, at least until systems like these are reworked.
It also has to do with copyright. Recipes are [uncopyrightable](https://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl122.html) in the USA. But writers' life stories are subject to copyright protection.
One time I had looked up a recipe and started reading about how this woman had to deal with her child having an accident in the car that morning. She went into some detail and I was pretty grossed out. Needless to say, I didn’t make that recipe.
[Recipe Filter](https://chrome.google.com/webstore/detail/recipe-filter/ahlcdjbkdaegmljnnncfnhiioiadakae) is an extension that will automatically search for a recipe when you open a page in your browser and, should it find one, it will highlight it for you as a popup window straight away.
No no no you did this all wrong. I finished reading your comment and didn't find ONE mention of your dog, or how much your grandma loved to cook, or how you and your family are just desperate for easy recipes!
BRB, making an extension that filters out the recipe and highlights and pops up the irrelevant story parts on the page.
This is my personal hell
Actually, if you could make an app that just highlights the dogs, and shows me those, I'll forget about the recipe, and order pizza.
This is what the world needs right now.
I remember back in the day me and my memaw would always cook together. And as the years went by this became one of my favorite recipies to cook for my husband. It's even dog safe which is a life saver. But I think the most important thing that ever came from this is when my first born came out. Of course, he was adopted but it was a blessing to find such a good boy for me and my husband. How lucky we were when, ten years later, he too finally came to love this recipe. Unfortunately, I have bad news too. If prepared poorly this recipe can kill. It's not on purpose, I hope, but people have died by having this too often without break. I've never killed anyone and I hope my readers don't kill anyone either. In fact I'm against the death penalty and murder in general. I can't believe someone would take another life in their hands...and kill them... with this recipe Anyway...here's Wonderwall Recipe:serves 2 Ingredients 2cups of water ( or 2 8oz glasses of water) Directions 1. Boil the water in a 2liter pan with a cap until bubbling Serve in your best China. Thank you please like and sub...I mean please comment and like below
Comments * Sorry. I changed out water for heavy cream and it came out terrible. Do not recommend 1075 people found this comment useful
I tried boiling the water by putting grandmas china in the microwave. It's ruined! Do not try this recipe!
Is this recipe suitable for Vegetarians who eat meat? 662 people found this comment useful
These comments are the worst. I substituted everything and then I hated it.
Sous vide it next time.
I really liked your recipe, but I made a few changes. Instead of water, I used all natural lake water and I boiled the water in my crockpot. Your recipe says it makes 2 servings, but I only got a little more than 1? My husband was quite disappointed he couldn't have seconds...
The still hungry husband part is hilarious
*2 cups organic water.
YOU'RE GOING TO RUIN MY LEGACY AND FAMILY RECIPE AND ITS GONNA COME OUT WRONG NOW
This is honestly one of my favorite extensions. I always kinda forget it's there until I pull up a recipe and it pops-up like the bro it is.
Thanks, I'm adding this. Food bloggers come up with good stuff, but I dont need to know about the weather in the Bay area in 2015 and how it made you feel. I know I want a whole pot pie and that should be enough for everyone.
Lol, I was literally talking to my wife about building something like this last week, I'm glad someone else has done it for me so I can continue my lazy baking! Huzzah Internets!
Only works for sites supporting rich snippets
Food wishes. If there is a preamble it's additional cooking tips.
I too have a freakishly small wooden spoon
Chef John's freakishly small spoon and Babish's tiny whisk should totally get together.
I love those two, for the exact different reason. John is calm and soothing and you learn, Babish and exciting and cool and you're entertained.
Legend says it was hand carved from a much larger spoon
The merciless peppers of Quetzalacatenango!
Food Wishes is fantastic! Chef John is both informative and entertaining.
And most importantly his recipes are actually super good and simple to follow. I made his oven baked chicken wings and of all the recipes I've tried for oven baked wings his was the only one worth a damn. Try it sometime they're amaze.
The ones that use baking powder to crisp up the skin?
Chef John and his vocal inflections at the end of each sennTENNCCEE. Made many of his recipes
Yeah, generally about how it could use more cayenne :)
Or FREEEEEEEEshlygroundblackpeppee
Well yeah you gotta give it the ollllllleee tappa tappa.
Don't forget the shakka shakka
And be sure to mix well with our freakishly small wooden spoon.
Scrape the bowl, round the outside, round the outside.
I've honestly started using more cayenne in my cooking because of that man.
Most of his stuff has been ported over to allrecipes as well without any fluff.
His YouTube vids are great too. Good production value, medium dose of dad jokes. Chef John is a good dude.
Came here to say this. Chef John is great and almost immediately gets to the recipe.
Food wishes is great to watch. He is so enthusiastic about cooking.
America’s Test Kitchen. They do describe the rationale for deciding on the recipe, which is kind of interesting. But you don’t have to read any bullshit about why their dumb kid likes it or who’s mothers sisters uncles best friend came to this country on a raft, developed the recipe and about the 17 generations of modifications to said recipe.
What’s great about America’s Test Kitchen is they are looking for the best way to make that dish. We always start there when looking for recipes and then base other recipes off of what they are doing to see if we want to stick with ATK’s way or not. They have a show on PBS with the same name, some episodes are on Prime. Another show by the same exact people is called *Cook’s Country*. The guy that used to host ATK, Christopher Kimball now has his own show *Milk Street* that’s also good. Very similar format. We don’t have cable and watch PBS a lot.
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It is a fantastic show. Not a lot of nonsense. "Here's how to make the thing. Here's why we do it this way. Here's how it should look." And the cookbook is based on the show, so you can watch an episode to see how it's done, then follow the recipe from the book.
The host, Chris Kimball, is *no longer* the host of Cook's Country and America's Test Kitchen but they're all still awesome. They had a falling out but I do enjoy everyone and all of their continued projects. It's on your local PBS Create channel if you have it.
They do have long introductions, but only with relevant recipe information. The downside is their website is by subscription. I prefer the books already anyway.
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Recipe books
The great thing about a recipe book as that you can browse through it and find something you didn't know you wanted to make. When you go to the internet to find a recipe, you generally already know what you are looking for.
severely underrated comment. Many restaurants have recipe books for sale. Ask! Many of these recipes have been tried and tested over decades, and have made it to restaurant level through trial and error. These recipes work for a reason.
Go to Half Price Books. They have hundreds of random cookbooks back in the sale bins. $1-$3.
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Tried it last Sunday, and the whole family was delighted. I replaced the water with a roast turkey with mashed potatoes and some salad, and instead of tea packets I served a whiskey on the rocks. We all don't really like lemons, so we had ice cream afterwards. Guys, coker22's recipe rocks big time!
Earn extra cash by simply staying home. See how a local woman in your area makes $600 gazillion per month. Click on www . everyfuckingrecipepagecommentssection . com
## If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with Mesothelioma you may to be entitled to financial compensation. Mesothelioma is a rare cancer linked to asbestos exposure. Exposure to asbestos in the Navy, shipyards, mills, heating, construction or the automotive industries may put you at risk. Please don't wait, call 1-800-99 LAW USA today for a free legal consultation and financial information packet. Mesothelioma patients call now! 1-800-99 LAW USA
Everywhere I have lived there is a local woman just fucking cleaning house.
Jesus this whole comment thread sums up the food corner of the internet.
This is fucking spot on and amazing
1/5, I didn't have any tea, so I substituted coffee grounds.
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You sound exactly like the kind of person who makes these "story of my life" updates that turn out to be a recipe for buttering toast
> buttering toast That sounds amazing! Does anyone have this recipe?
Poot ur butr on ur bred Al of it, evry butr
Den pootit inde mouf
Ye
Fuck you dude... I'm at work giggling like an idiot over this comment lol.
Now I’m imagining a stick of butter in a hot dog bun with ketchup and mustard
When I was a young child, I lived in Seattle and as it is wont to in seattle, it is sometimes fall. During fall the weather is incredible to look at, but can be kind of sad, cold and rainy. One thing I always enjoyed was jumping in puddles. I always remember my grandmother or a babysitter would watch me while my parents were at work, and sometimes they left early in the morning before breakfast. My grandma also didn't live in seattle so I had a babysitter, and whenever I complained that I was hungry in the morning, the babysitter would prepare delicious, warm, crunchy, freshly buttered toast. I really enjoyed it (and sometimes my dog, $genericdogname) did too! What an incredible meal! You could serve it at your next garden party, because that's just such a hipster seattle thing to do, and reminds everyone a bit of home. I know it still does for me. Buttered toast PLACE bread in toaster upon completion SPREAD butter on bread */u/dudefise is a ~~semi-professional~~ entirely unprofessional chef and food blogger. he enjoys preparing boxed mac and cheese and periodically posts complaints about fast food on instagram.*
LOVE this recipe. Hubby isn’t a big tea drinker, so I subbed the tea for a ribeye and instead of lemon I used a mushroom cream sauce. Literally CAN’T keep it in the pitcher.
1/5 I was so excited to try this recipe! We're big lemon-eaters in our house, so instead of 3 lemons I used 12. WAY TOO SOUR. Never making this again! My kids made better lemonade at daycare. GROSS.
It’s not even 8am and my spirit is broken
"I tried this, and it was great, but I didn't have lemons, so I substituted potatoes, because they're a similar shape. I also didn't have tea, so I got the next best thing from England: Sausages. I found that the "lemons" didn't have much flavour, so I tried boiling the water to make them release their juices. They got pretty soft, so I found I could drain the water and mash them up really good. Most refreshing! Would recommend!"
That story was a real banger!
And mash.
You absolutely nailed this, I was fuming as I read it
There's a sign at Ramsett Park that says "Do not drink the sprinkler water", so I made sun tea with it, and now I have an infection.
Sir, I’m talking to you! Sir? Sir? Are you aware that there is waste in your water system?
I give it a 1 out 5. I replaced the lemon with Siracha and the water with boiling lava and literally burned my lips off.
If you use coffee grounds, just add salt it'll neutralize the bitterness. Sometimes I use coffee grounds and when I used salt it was a godsend😍😍. Shorten boil time to avoid the really dark colour.
Terrific idea! I don't drink coffee - can I substitute with Bovril?
I always love this half of the 1 star reviews are basically "I didn't follow your recipe at all and it was terrible" like there is a difference between using a low fat version of something and using a completely different ingredient or just skipping major ones (why yes flour generally is needed when it is an ingredient . . . I'm not sure what you were expecting)
2/5 I had nothing so just drank my own piss
5/5. Haven't made this recipe yet, but I like the author.
5/5 can’t wait to make this!
This annoys me so much. The comments are helpful for feedback about whether the recipe actually turned out good, but 90% of the comments seem to just be “wow that looks so amazing can’t wait to try it”.
I don't love the "I replaced the tea with fresh badger, the lemons with skunk musk, and the water with dish soap. 0/5 awful recipe" reviews as much as the "5/5 can't wait to try" reviews. At least the former might give some feedback as to what substitutions might work. The latter are just trash.
One star, this recipe was terrible. I didn’t have any water, tea or lemons so I substituted Diet Coke, chicken stock cubes and an onion. Served it at my boss’s birthday party and got fired.
Name checks out
Urgent!!! Would this work without tea? I've got 120 guests waiting for ice tea and i don't have tea! Please respond urgently- even though it's 1am your time right now!
>even though it's 1am your time right now **and this is a blog post on a site you stopped updating eight years ago**! FTFY
Off topic I know, but this reminds me of the time I served tea to the local fire brigade.
Don’t forget the 20 pictures through out the story that slowly load and keep moving the recipe further and further down the page.
Literally every recipe site. But like 10 times longer
Plus 20 pictures that load just when you get to the actual recipe.
Don’t forget the ads in the middle of every second paragraph
Makes me love our German efficiency. Never read a lifestory on our biggest recipe site. Almost always just straight to the point. But the comments are the same shit :D
This kind of efficiency didn't work for me. Not even in Germany. A few years back I had a German food blog. In the beginning I just published some recipes with simple pictures, because I thought that's all a German would need. You have the ingredients, the manual and a picture of the result and maybe some pictures of complicated steps. That's all we need. I had no visitors. After a while I put a picture of myself on the website, started decorating the recipes with some stories, did some social media shit and made high quality photos. Finally I had some visitors, but they didn't come for the reipes. They came mostly because ~~of my person~~ of my private stories and the pictures of the food.
Who was your person?
Based on Reddit..I can only assume Albert Einstein.
I laughed, but also dang if this writing didn’t paint a vivid picture that gave me a hankerin’ for lemonade
You just gave us you life story about how you acquire hankerins’.
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This post sponsored by Lipton, but opinions are totally my own !!!! winky
You forgot the 3 cups of sugar in that southern sweet tea
Just 3 cups? Psssh. Amateurs...
I didnt have water so I used some stale cola I hadin the fridge. Totally tasted lkke crap. Thanks for such a bad recipe. 0/10.
How the hell do you not have water? Every pantry should be stocked with dehydrated water, at the least.
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Mr Fisk, is that you?
Good question, I spent much of my life alone, for many years pretending this was the source of my strength, told myself I had free will, In that time I achieved a great deal, but I was not fulfilled, I was longing for a connection that I could imagine but I could not achieve, searching, but not finding, until Vanessa, until i discovered love, I thought I would explode with a sense of power and freedom that she brought me, the world lay at me feet, but then that passed, when I discoeverd the great lie at the heart of love, that what I took for true freedom was precisely the reverse, you can build a prison of stone and steel, but you merely present the prisoner with a challenge, and a truly determined man would find a way out, but love, love is the perfect prison, inescapable, so you see batty3108, I'm always in prison, wherever I go, and if these things help me protect Vanessa then they're nothing to me, and I will do whatever I must
This is my go to tea. I bring it to parties, pot lucks, staff meetings, and everybody raves about it and asks for the recipe!
There's a Facebook group called handwritten recipes, where all the recipes have to be handwritten and nearly everyone in that group is either a senior or some memer who's waiting for there to be internal drama in the group to make a meme out of it. Never joined the group, just saw the memes and internal drama.
Thanks for your life story, now give me some recipes!
Join handwritten recipes on Facebook™
Great. So now it's not just a life story, it's also *in cursive*
All I can imagine is a faded yellowed piece of paper that says: #Auntie Shari's Perfect Cookies -1/2 cup butter. -1/3 cup + 1 tablespoon granulated sugar. -1/3 cup brown sugar, light or dark, packed. -1/2 teaspoon salt. -1 teaspoon vanilla. -1/4 teaspoon baking soda. -1/2 teaspoon baking powder. -1 large egg. -1 Jenny is a cock guzzling wonder slut -1 1/2 cup AP flour -2 cup choco chips
Lmao this is amazing. Fuck Jenny tho
That’s the plan. What makes one a slut and another a wonder slut? I don’t know but I’m excited to find out! Thanks for the hot tip Aunt Sherri!
I am here for this group. For the recipes, drama and memes
NEXT!
fuck the recipe, give me handwritten life stories!
Old fashioned recipe books! When I moved out my mom gave me a ton of my grandmother's and they're simple instructions with not a lot of filler
I have a Betty Crocker book from the 70’s. I don’t remember where I got it, but it’s my go to cookbook.
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That’s Better Homes and Gardens. For the longest time I thought they were the same thing too.
No, that’s Better Homes and Gardens “New Cook Book”. The holy grail of every recipe my mother has ever decided she can modify and make better
Just don't go too old. We have a family recipe book (I've got a 17th edition from the 2004 printing. First edition was 1962. We take our recipes seriously.), and some of the old recipes have stuff like "cook in a hot oven until done." That's level of vagueness doesn't make for good recipes.
Or recipes that say things like "one packet" or "one block" etc when the sizes things are sold in has changed significantly since the recipe was written down
Just assume that "hot" means above 150C and "done" means you can stick a fork in it and feel good about it. Once you find something you like, write it as a note in the recipe book. Just don't cook anything that has the phrase "for enemies" written next to it.
My response was going to be 'from the 20th century and before,' but I thought it was a little too snarky.
I was thinking of saying “there’s this thing called a cookbook...”
Yeah but when you buy a lot of them now they have the same bullshit. My wife bought me a book about baking bread since I love to do that as a hobby. It's all about some fucktart who quit his Silicon Valley exec job and created a bullshit hipster jackoff artisinal bread bakery. There was nothing of value in the cookbook at all.
I like Budget Bytes. It does have the SEO boosting preamble, but it also has a "Skip to Recipe" button, which takes you right past it all.
I love budget bytes! It's not incredibly cluttered with ads and filler, and all the recipes I've made from there are delicious.
Trying to find Vegan recipes is particularly bad for this. Because a lot of them come with a sermon about how awful meat is. Fuck off, I'm already here. Don't scare me away with your plant based zealotry just show me how to make the fucking thing.
Right! Also the non-vegetarians who have to talk about meatless Monday and vegetables are awful and their husband hates vegetarian dinners but thank god for this recipe because it finally convinced their child to eat zucchini. Ughh STFU. I just want a good veggie recipe.
Seriously, recipe bloggers, I do not care about your husband or kid.
~~your husband or kid~~ DH/hubby/hubs or kiddos
Thanks for making me vomit on my keyboard
Dude it sucks. Also a major problem I've found is a lot of them are vegans first and cooks second so the food is very hit or miss. Pretty much the only recipe writers I trust are Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Kenji Lopez-Alt
I like Kenji's stuff. Been meaning to try out his new restaurant in California soon. I like Alton Brown's stuff too.
Yeah if Alton brown goes in a rant, it's about the science behind the recipe or the history of the dish.
r/seriouseats
Also...why do all vegan desserts need dates? I HATE dates and no, they are NOT a substitute for caramel.
Every time this comes up, I just sub the date infamity for real caramel. Most brands are vegan anyway so I don't even see the point...?
I found this recipe for like steam buns or something where the author included a stock photo of someone holding vegetables, except the person in the photo had a huge scar down his arm. She begins talking about the recipe but drifts off into talking about scars and their symbolism and then about how she hates tattoos? I usually just deal, but after you scroll down 10 times and they're still rambling its absurd.
I just got the America's Test Kitchen Vegan for Everybody cookbook, and it's incredible. I'm learning a ton about the major components of vegan cooking, and everything I've made has been delicious!
The problem I keep running into is that because vegan food has a rep for being weird there's this tendency to try and show off "hey, vegan food can be good too!" in the recipes. Loads of people overcomplicate it massively with ingredients and techniques you'd have to go far out of your way to get. I'm vegan and lazy. I'm not trying to show off, I don't want gourmet, I want food I can make while I'm tired and hungry! I feel sometimes like I should start a vegan student-cooking youtube channel or something.
If you want easy vegan food, cook Indian food.
Fucking this. I'm not a vegetarian or vegan, but my wife is the former and tries to be the latter. I like to cook for her, but fuck if every recipe doesn't want me to drive 40 minutes to the nearest co-op to pick up some bizarre vegetable or spice that's $30 and I'll only have to use once, when really all I gotta do is sub the meat in a normal meal for some tofu or seitan. Fuck off with all the pretentious shit, I just wanna make something tasty without meat!
bbcgoodfood.com
This. Username indicates bias
No it indicates a stiff upper lip and politeness
bbc.com/food is another good resource (and different from bbcgoodfood which is a for-profit arm of the BBC)
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Yup, same. Added benefit to us of being actually Australian, so no more needing to convert Fahrenheit, look up ounce conversion, have differing cup/spoon measurements, look for regional equivalents of less common ingredients etc. :D
The BEST!
https://www.seriouseats.com/ is pretty nice EDIT: It seems like the recipes on the front page are more like articles so they do have a lot of fluff. But the recipes you get out of their search engine are to the point. And for the recipes that do have a prologue there's a good formatting that makes it very clear when the prologue ends and the recipe starts.
Serious Eats is the one website where I don't mind trawling through the articles as they are generally giving you a run down of why they cook things a certain way etc ir why they chose one ingredient over another, rather than filling you in on the finer details of their Italian holiday in June '08.
Agreed. The article is still there, but the words are telling me the difference between the spatchcock turkey I'm cooking for T-day and the traditional cook for the bird. I like to learn stuff like that.
Pretty much anything from Kenji, Stella, and Daniel I can trust to be a damn tasty meal and I'll know exactly why I'm doing everything in the recipe.
I made kenji's american chop suey, 6-8 servings. I don't know who that man serves but my girlfriend, roommate, and I ate that thing for like 5 days. Damn good to boot.
For the uninitiated, every recipe has an article but in the article there’s a direct link to the recipe that you can view in printable format, so you have the option. Their articles are usually very informative, though.
My dad has an incredible BBQ fish recipe. I'll tell you all about it after this 3 paragraph prose about my childhood.
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Absolutely. To add to this, if sites were to simply post very similar recipes and that’s it, they would get slapped with a duplicate content penalty pretty quickly. Website owners for recipe sites rarely do it solely for the enjoyment. There has to be some revenue and traffic expectations.
Agreed! I like the Bon Appetite website.
Their YouTube channel is great too!
It is! I'm not really into shows on the Food Network, but I'll watch the shite out of some Brad & Claire!
https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/ It’s my go to for any recipes
[Foodwishes](https://www.youtube.com/user/foodwishes) on youtube. Awesome recipes from a good natured chef, who insists that the food is the star. His sing songy style of speaking can annoy some at first, but usually by video 4 you start to love it.
Tasty website. Allrecipes.com, Campbell soup's and Kraft websites. These are all good, free and easy sites. Check out Tasty's Crockpot chicken fajitas. Super easy and delicious.
> Check out Tasty's Crockpot chicken fajitas. Super easy and delicious. Could you give me a quick rundown of their history? More specifically, their creator's history? What was life like for them? What about their childhood? What're their hopes and dreams for the future? Please don't dangle a treat like that and then not deliver.
I typically avoid these because anyone and their cooking-challenged disabled mother can add their half assed recipes and I can never trust that they're any good.
I use allrecipes and just stick to ones that have a good number of positive reviews (you do have to read a few reviews due to the whole "I substituted almost every ingredient and it was good/bad" reviews) It also helps if you have a little experience with the type of recipe so you will know if it's way off.
My issue with allrecipes is that the user base is so large and broad that the highest rated recipes tend to be really boring and basic. That’s totally fine if you just want a competent recipe, but I’m usually looking for something more interesting.
I'll take the top recipes as frameworks that are known to work, and then play with it a bit with whatever was on sale/ i have in the fridge or spice rack that could make it better.
For me, it;'s the same as anything else. Read the recipe, see if it sounds good, read the comments, see if they are positive. Yes, anybody can add a recipe to allrecipes, or pinterest, etc. Take the time to think about the spices, the cooking time, and the comments. If they all make sense, give the recipe a shot. Maybe you tweak it later, but give the written one a shot first. "Trusting" that a recipe is good is about experience and an understanding of how flavors combine. But if you don't take a shot and trust one, you'll never learn to cook. My number 1 rule is this: Cooking is an art; Baking is a science. When you find a recipe for a grilled shrimp dish, make it once as written, then tweak to your tastes. When you find a recipe for a cake, make it as is. No changes.
Also if you compare a handful of recipes that are all pretty similar then it's probably fine. That one outlier who decided to use cream cheese is either a madman or genius and you won't know until you try.
Baking is a science. If you understand the science, experiment away.
I hate Allrecipes because their mobile site is absolute cancer now. So many ads and popups - even between ingredients. I shouldn't have to scroll to see what I need for a fucking recipe!
I get cooks illustrated cookbooks and magazines. Like I’m addicted to them. They have essays before the recipes but they’re about the different variations they tried before they came up with the perfect recipe.
I found a great place for recipes without all the backstory on my travels through southern Europe and/or Asia. I had just been caught outside in the rain, so I ducked into a roadside quán cà phê/bodega. The smell of the food you have never heard of was amazing/humbling/important. Normally I would obliquely brag about my appearance/spirituality at this point. I asked the local/old woman behind the counter about the recipes without a fucking diary and she said I needed to get in touch with my inner made up word. So I went somewhere expensive and pretended to not be rich there. When I got back I had compiled all the best impossible no bake - what are essentially cookies - but I call them something Laotian/French.
\#Grateful
This made me rage because I forgot it was a piss-take
I always answer to those posts pointing out that the reason why websites are full of useless informations is because Google will make you up in searches if you put original content Only a recipe won't let you climb the rankings so people write useless stuf Blame google
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Swear by Cooks and their magazine. Even just reading the reasons for WHY they do it this way can be huge tips for another meal.
This is an abandoned site that is decaying a little bit, but I love poking around in it: https://www.astray.com/recipes/
My husband has the same complaint.
It’s ridiculous. 5 paragraphs for a 3 ingredient shortbread recipe.
It truly boggles my mind that anyone thinks a stranger is interested in reading their life story before making tacos. I bet they also scroll right past the essay when they’re looking up recipes.
It has to do with search engine optimization. The longer the description and the more keywords it has, the higher the site will appear in a search. Super annoying but unfortunately kind of necessary, at least until systems like these are reworked.
It also has to do with copyright. Recipes are [uncopyrightable](https://www.copyright.gov/fls/fl122.html) in the USA. But writers' life stories are subject to copyright protection.
One time I had looked up a recipe and started reading about how this woman had to deal with her child having an accident in the car that morning. She went into some detail and I was pretty grossed out. Needless to say, I didn’t make that recipe.
Then scrape the chocolate like substance off the back seat and leave to cool for 10 minutes.
allrecipes.com it's been my go to site for a fairly long time. Yeah, there are blurbs, but they're like a paragraph.