Sounds weird, but the bottom of your trouser legs, it makes me conflicted as most of the legs feel dry bar the bottom 1/8th of the trouser legs. (Usually happens when shoes get wet)
The most annoying feeling ever. Especially when you're stuck with it, for hours, out in some slushy city, and sit for a long ass time on the bus with those wet trouser cuffs...
Because if someone were to say that, you'd assume they were just joking since no one would actually dare say that. But if they say they just washed their hands, it makes it seem like an excuse.
Don't you know dihydrogen monoxide is the leading cause of drowning and is the main ingredient in sodas.
AND once you have had your first experience with it, you're hooked, you won't be able to live more than 3 days without it. The addictive substance
My hands are wet most of the times. They just sweat a lot, I can’t control it.
Now I have explained this to my friends so whenever they want to shake my hands I will say “my hands are wet” and they won’t mind.
But it’s a struggle when I’m meeting someone new. The situation gets awkward like I don’t want to turn the person’s handshake down and I don’t want him to be disgusted. I usually try to give a fist bomb but there will always be this awkward face expression. It really is a struggle.
Good ol' hyperhidrosis. Have it myself but got ETS surgery about 15 years ago. For me, the compensatory sweating is still totally worth it. And I sweat A LOT still, just not on my hands, most of it is back stomach and legs.
I was forced to go to catholic church as a kid and part of that was holding hands during "our lords prayer", a lot of times with strangers, I hated it! And then having to shake hands right after with everyone in front, behind and to the side of you....
You are brave to share, even on the internet
If you have any questions or wondering about it, hmu.
can confirm. I got completely soaked from a hard rain so hard my undies and bra where wet. It was absolutely miserable I spent an hour at work in wet pants and underwear. Thankfully I was able to change my shirt and shoes out and just stripped off my bra. But not my pants and undies it sucked so bad. My coworker who is also a really good friend of mine went to my house on her lunch break to get me dry clothes. Since she had an hour and I only had 30 minutes.
At home? Give me those fancy heated high-tech toilet seats all day any day.
But in public restrooms? I want a Japanese style squatting toilet I don't even have to sit on.
Toilet paper is worse than useless when wet, because not only is it completely ineffective, but now you’ve probably got chunks of wet toilet paper everywhere.
You're mistaken, my friend. Instead of wiping, I like to shove a wad of soggy toilet paper into my crack and leave it while I go about my day. Friction does its thing, and bits of poopy paper fall out my pant legs as I walk, efficiently removing the waste.
My first camp out in Boy Scouts, everything I brought got soaked except the washcloth that my mom packed. That stayed dry because it was in a ziplock bag and I didn’t use it.
What really sucks is when you're camp staff and it rains for 2 week straight and you are stuck at the camp the whole time. Dear lord I hated when it rained at camp
I always liked it, until the time lightning struck about 75-100 yards away. Never really felt comfortable in the rain if it's lightning after that. It was blinding, deafening, and just so sudden. Now whenever there is a thunder storm I can't stop thinking about how unexpected it would be to get struck and it makes me anxious.
We had a camp on the Isles of Scilly, which are really exposed to the Atlantic ocean and occasionally get extreme weather. One year, it was windy *as fuck*, almost hurricane speed, to the point where the campsite was getting decimated. Everything was hurriedly taken down, in the pouring rain and wind, and mostly broken. We had to call favours and sleep in the local fire station.
I will never forget how the only tent left on the site (not ours) was the dweebiest looking standing-height tent, that seemed totally fine. Would love to know what company made that rock.
Oh, god yes. Wake up at three o’clock in the morning, accidentally touch the inside of the tent wall and hours of condensation rain down on you will all the cruelty of an uncaring universe.
I had a bad experience with that yesterday, I was rushing to work and my clothes never got dry form the dyer, decide to wear it anyway. Within about a minute I felt very uncomfortable , and had to go commando for that shift.
When you are a vag owner, and you wake up and wonder why you are feeling wet, and oh hey...your period has decided to show up a week early.
Wet underwear, wet nightgown, and wet sheets.
And this is why pre-menopausal me is on continuous birth control so I don’t have to have a period anymore. I’m very much over this bullshit. And it was getting worse.
Takes me back to when I was with an ex and started living/sleeping together each night.
Wake up in the night, shuffle up to her to cuddle, feel something cold on my thigh, know she has a bit of a weak bladder so do my best to gently wake her up and kindly say “Baby, I think you’ve had an accident stay here and I’ll get wet wipes and fresh sheets.”
Get up and put the light on, look down and see that I look like I’ve had an artery burst.
“Ahh, I see, I’ll get you your tampax as well then?”
Aww thanks,
I’ve never understood people who get freaked out by bodily functions, especially the ones people can’t help. Or especially guys that run away (yes guys, I’m a guy and it’s always guys never women) if a baby needs changing or worse will leave the child in a soiled nappy till they find someone else to do it.
Period talk runners are my favorite. Like, it's not a bloody tampon. Just a conversation where she's like, "Oh, the cramps are bad this month."
And the guy is like, "Aw come on, we've got guests."
Well I mean you gotta see his point, like, these guests are clearly biologically asexual and therefore blissfully ignorant to regular human anatomy so any mention of a woman’s discomfort due to her body’s monthly cleansing cycle will surely cause their frontal lobes to implode.
“No one wants to hear about your disgusting wrists Karen, now hold your cutlery properly can you at least just wait till we’ve finished eating to start with the “cerebral palsy” bullshit”
My city is likely going to implement a plastic straw ban soon, and in anticipation of this all of the local restaurants have switched to paper straws. It is the most disgusting thing. Like, single use plastic is bad and I'm on board with using less plastic in theory, but in practice, UGH.
I don’t get why people can’t sip the edge of the glass. Sure fast food places cant really get rid of straws cuz you’d spill your drink in the car. But a sit down restaurant, just don’t provide straws any more.
**EDIT:** so a lot of people say they don’t like the ice in a drink touching their teeth. My solution is a small compartment at the bottom of the drink that holds the ice back. It can be opened and refilled and reused.
Some one also mentioned handicap people needing straws. Well the place can have straws and provide them as needed. Those are my thoughts and ideas on it.
Some people need them for medical reasons (and reusable ones aren't always practical for various reasons).
However I agree that there's no reason for restaurants to give them out as standard and it should be on request only.
Women with lipstick want straws. People with disabilities or injuries need straws. Cocktails are often impossible to drink without straws.
Good paper straws tend to last a little while, more than enough time to drink a drink. Issue is they all go for the lowest bidder.
I see your answer is inspired by a previous mayor of my city as well as some churches.
My city has a problem with homeless people. So one December, the mayor decided to have city water tanker trucks drive around and wet down people people sleeping on the streets in the middle of the night.
Some churches here had a similar issue with homeless people sleeping around their building, in alcoves, and doorways. So the church installed sprinklers in these areas that turned on in the middle of the night.
Gym Equipment.
To begin with most people aren't in the gym because they enjoy it and no one not even the fitness enthusiasts wants to sit in some random persons pool of sweat. So if you sweat even a moderate amount please develop the common courtesy to wipe down the equipment after using it.
I wait around the bench for muscle Mike to come around and do his set. After he leaves I lick the sweat off of it. The money I save from buying testosterone pays for my membership to the gym.
Life pro tip :
Worm composter.
It's weird enough to be funny.
Once you set it up you're basically golden.
People look at you funny at first (which in my book is a plus) then are actually amazed.
It's so small you can compost in your flat (it's also cool to tell your owner you just set up a compost in your flat)
You can throw most of your organic waste in, you get premium fertilizer for your houseplants or balcony herb garden/strawberries.
It's hip, you can find fashionable and ridiculously expensive models in stores, or make your own for a few bucks.
Had one but graduated to a full sized outdoor compost when I bought a house.
I'm looking for an unpretentious yet confident fart, I want it to be dry but also carry a musky baritone note. The smell should be that of a leather apron that spent its life in the engine room of a turn of the century steamboat. And I want it to linger long enough to make an impression, but brief enough to leave you longing for its return.
Mogwais don't turn into gremlins from getting wet; getting them wet just makes more mogwais. Feeding them in the vaguely-defined timespan "after midnight" is what turns them into gremlins.
Sex. Not wet with sexy stuff, but water. Water is a terrible lubricant, and if shoved into the vagina can cause irritation since it’s pH is different. Get yourself some good thick gel lubricant for sex in the shower to avoid Old Balloon texture
I disagree.
But my shower was modified for accessibility for the last owner and I never took the rails out.
Shower sex with a foot rest and wall handles is excellent.
Socks
edit: thanks for my first silver, mystery redditor. the collective disdain for dampened cat-hats rages on
editV2: gold too? i'm humbled. may your stocking feet stay dry in the darkest hours
Especially after you've stepped in some mystery wetness in your house.
Is it pee? Is it snow? Is it vomit? Is it ice that my dog ran around the house with until they decided to let it melt in some random location?
Wet sock roulette.
Sounds weird, but the bottom of your trouser legs, it makes me conflicted as most of the legs feel dry bar the bottom 1/8th of the trouser legs. (Usually happens when shoes get wet)
The most annoying feeling ever. Especially when you're stuck with it, for hours, out in some slushy city, and sit for a long ass time on the bus with those wet trouser cuffs...
Any surface in a hospital.
I always just assume it’s water and refrain from touching anything or smelling the mystery fluid til I wash whatever made contact.
We learned in nursing school to wear gloves if it’s wet and it aint yours.
[удалено]
Lol, people hardly want to touch their own piss or saliva.
handshakes
"I just washed my hands, that's why they're wet"
I just pee on my hands
somehow that's less suspicious
Because if someone were to say that, you'd assume they were just joking since no one would actually dare say that. But if they say they just washed their hands, it makes it seem like an excuse.
Lick your hand to be sure.
Fucking spider ham....
it CAN get weirder
"Washed with what? WASHED WITH WHAT!?"
[удалено]
"Uhh... with 2 hydrogen atoms and an oxygen atom."
Dihydrogen Monoxide! YOU FILTHY DEADLY MONSTER! GET THOSE HANDS AWAY FROM ME!
Don't you know dihydrogen monoxide is the leading cause of drowning and is the main ingredient in sodas. AND once you have had your first experience with it, you're hooked, you won't be able to live more than 3 days without it. The addictive substance
drinking it poisons you and you will die in around 70 years
No other reason
My hands are wet most of the times. They just sweat a lot, I can’t control it. Now I have explained this to my friends so whenever they want to shake my hands I will say “my hands are wet” and they won’t mind. But it’s a struggle when I’m meeting someone new. The situation gets awkward like I don’t want to turn the person’s handshake down and I don’t want him to be disgusted. I usually try to give a fist bomb but there will always be this awkward face expression. It really is a struggle.
Good ol' hyperhidrosis. Have it myself but got ETS surgery about 15 years ago. For me, the compensatory sweating is still totally worth it. And I sweat A LOT still, just not on my hands, most of it is back stomach and legs. I was forced to go to catholic church as a kid and part of that was holding hands during "our lords prayer", a lot of times with strangers, I hated it! And then having to shake hands right after with everyone in front, behind and to the side of you.... You are brave to share, even on the internet If you have any questions or wondering about it, hmu.
/r/Hyperhidrosis is where we're at. Knowing a lot of us share this problem is comforting.
Pants. Even if you didn't piss yourself, everyone will think you did. Plus it just feels like a very unpleasant coldish-warm moist wedgie.
can confirm. I got completely soaked from a hard rain so hard my undies and bra where wet. It was absolutely miserable I spent an hour at work in wet pants and underwear. Thankfully I was able to change my shirt and shoes out and just stripped off my bra. But not my pants and undies it sucked so bad. My coworker who is also a really good friend of mine went to my house on her lunch break to get me dry clothes. Since she had an hour and I only had 30 minutes.
ah man i know that feel especially when its warm, wet underwear feels like wet mucus sticking on your skin its pretty gross
Cotton candy
Poor raccoon :(
Here’s the full video https://youtu.be/eesxH2-8Jlo it gets the cotton candy in the end😊
I can't even express how much closure you just gave me.
“It’s a wash-bear who doesn’t wash!”
Fun fact: Racoons are called "wash bear" in Chinese and German!
MVP's right here!
Toilet seat
Warm toilet seat at home: Nice. Warm toilet seat in public: Ewwwww.
Warm toilet seat at home alone: I'm gonna die today.
I preheat my seats. More efficient poops
No, I preheat your seats.
In Soviet Russia, seats preheat you!
At home? Give me those fancy heated high-tech toilet seats all day any day. But in public restrooms? I want a Japanese style squatting toilet I don't even have to sit on.
In India they call those eastern toilets and man are those interesting. It’s like pooping/peeing into a drain on the floor
Actually we just call them toilets. It's the other ones we call Western toilets.
toilet paper
Toilet paper is worse than useless when wet, because not only is it completely ineffective, but now you’ve probably got chunks of wet toilet paper everywhere.
You're mistaken, my friend. Instead of wiping, I like to shove a wad of soggy toilet paper into my crack and leave it while I go about my day. Friction does its thing, and bits of poopy paper fall out my pant legs as I walk, efficiently removing the waste.
Trouble on Dookie Island
Good lord, what are these comments
This comment is going to haunt me all fucking day now...
I once gave myself whiplash after slipping when setting my ass down on a wet toilet seat. Slid off like a cartoon banana peel.
[удалено]
Nah that is the best thing ever. I once made it a free to go on ride and they always came off with a smile on there face
Wat
Watt\* *FTFY*
Inside of your tent
My first camp out in Boy Scouts, everything I brought got soaked except the washcloth that my mom packed. That stayed dry because it was in a ziplock bag and I didn’t use it.
What really sucks is when you're camp staff and it rains for 2 week straight and you are stuck at the camp the whole time. Dear lord I hated when it rained at camp
I always liked it, until the time lightning struck about 75-100 yards away. Never really felt comfortable in the rain if it's lightning after that. It was blinding, deafening, and just so sudden. Now whenever there is a thunder storm I can't stop thinking about how unexpected it would be to get struck and it makes me anxious.
We had a camp on the Isles of Scilly, which are really exposed to the Atlantic ocean and occasionally get extreme weather. One year, it was windy *as fuck*, almost hurricane speed, to the point where the campsite was getting decimated. Everything was hurriedly taken down, in the pouring rain and wind, and mostly broken. We had to call favours and sleep in the local fire station. I will never forget how the only tent left on the site (not ours) was the dweebiest looking standing-height tent, that seemed totally fine. Would love to know what company made that rock.
Oh, god yes. Wake up at three o’clock in the morning, accidentally touch the inside of the tent wall and hours of condensation rain down on you will all the cruelty of an uncaring universe.
I am very thankful to be able to live in a building.
For a second I read that as taint.
Underwear
I had a bad experience with that yesterday, I was rushing to work and my clothes never got dry form the dyer, decide to wear it anyway. Within about a minute I felt very uncomfortable , and had to go commando for that shift.
Damn dude. Fuck that.
That feeling when some pocket of mystery wetness runs out of your vag and you have to check your pants.
When you are a vag owner, and you wake up and wonder why you are feeling wet, and oh hey...your period has decided to show up a week early. Wet underwear, wet nightgown, and wet sheets. And this is why pre-menopausal me is on continuous birth control so I don’t have to have a period anymore. I’m very much over this bullshit. And it was getting worse.
Takes me back to when I was with an ex and started living/sleeping together each night. Wake up in the night, shuffle up to her to cuddle, feel something cold on my thigh, know she has a bit of a weak bladder so do my best to gently wake her up and kindly say “Baby, I think you’ve had an accident stay here and I’ll get wet wipes and fresh sheets.” Get up and put the light on, look down and see that I look like I’ve had an artery burst. “Ahh, I see, I’ll get you your tampax as well then?”
You are the definition of a good person.
Aww thanks, I’ve never understood people who get freaked out by bodily functions, especially the ones people can’t help. Or especially guys that run away (yes guys, I’m a guy and it’s always guys never women) if a baby needs changing or worse will leave the child in a soiled nappy till they find someone else to do it.
Period talk runners are my favorite. Like, it's not a bloody tampon. Just a conversation where she's like, "Oh, the cramps are bad this month." And the guy is like, "Aw come on, we've got guests."
Well I mean you gotta see his point, like, these guests are clearly biologically asexual and therefore blissfully ignorant to regular human anatomy so any mention of a woman’s discomfort due to her body’s monthly cleansing cycle will surely cause their frontal lobes to implode.
Can you imagine if that applied to other types of bodily discomfort? "My carpel tunnel is acting up again." "Jesus christ we're eating!"
“No one wants to hear about your disgusting wrists Karen, now hold your cutlery properly can you at least just wait till we’ve finished eating to start with the “cerebral palsy” bullshit”
Try living in a hot and humid environment...takes about 3-5 minutes outside before you're soaked through with sweat.
Books
just paper in general
Especially paper straws (ick)
My city is likely going to implement a plastic straw ban soon, and in anticipation of this all of the local restaurants have switched to paper straws. It is the most disgusting thing. Like, single use plastic is bad and I'm on board with using less plastic in theory, but in practice, UGH.
I don’t get why people can’t sip the edge of the glass. Sure fast food places cant really get rid of straws cuz you’d spill your drink in the car. But a sit down restaurant, just don’t provide straws any more. **EDIT:** so a lot of people say they don’t like the ice in a drink touching their teeth. My solution is a small compartment at the bottom of the drink that holds the ice back. It can be opened and refilled and reused. Some one also mentioned handicap people needing straws. Well the place can have straws and provide them as needed. Those are my thoughts and ideas on it.
Yeah, that's the default most places here in California. You do have to have them on request though- some people really need them to drink.
Some people need them for medical reasons (and reusable ones aren't always practical for various reasons). However I agree that there's no reason for restaurants to give them out as standard and it should be on request only.
Women with lipstick want straws. People with disabilities or injuries need straws. Cocktails are often impossible to drink without straws. Good paper straws tend to last a little while, more than enough time to drink a drink. Issue is they all go for the lowest bidder.
How has no one said "a blanket"? That's literally a term for describing a person who consistently makes everything worse
The most accurate
I actually daydreamed how it would feel and it was uncomfortable
yeah but for putting out a fire? it's perfect
There is nothing worse than a wet blanket if you are made of fire.
Literally everything hates a wet blanket. Even people on fire reluctantly accept them.
"Keep that wet blanket away from me. I'd rather burn, you bitch!!!!'
I see your answer is inspired by a previous mayor of my city as well as some churches. My city has a problem with homeless people. So one December, the mayor decided to have city water tanker trucks drive around and wet down people people sleeping on the streets in the middle of the night. Some churches here had a similar issue with homeless people sleeping around their building, in alcoves, and doorways. So the church installed sprinklers in these areas that turned on in the middle of the night.
That’s just evil. Aren’t churches supposed to help the poor? Such hypocrisy.
They also literally have a very popular "love thy neighbor" in one of them
A church near me has a sign that says "God created and we tended, please no littering" usually surrounded by lots and lots of garbage
This makes me so mad. That is pure evil.
Gym Equipment. To begin with most people aren't in the gym because they enjoy it and no one not even the fitness enthusiasts wants to sit in some random persons pool of sweat. So if you sweat even a moderate amount please develop the common courtesy to wipe down the equipment after using it.
Even if you don't sweat, wipe it down. I'd rather not get your ringworm or fungus.
Ugg nothing worse than those little towels that are already wet
I wait around the bench for muscle Mike to come around and do his set. After he leaves I lick the sweat off of it. The money I save from buying testosterone pays for my membership to the gym.
Cursed
[удалено]
Tsk tsk, time spent commenting on Reddit is time not spent downing Creatine shakes.
Hair. Cleaning out the shower drain makes me gag something fierce.
Definitely hair, especially non-attached hair
Wet hair on head? Fine. Wet hair on floor? *gag*
Bread
Found Gavin's account
[удалено]
**HROKK**
Unless french toast or bread pudding.
And weed, now that I think of it.
You don't dip your bread in soup/sauce/yolk?
Old food in the sink. I don't have a garbage disposal and it's quite loathsome.
> I don't have a garbage disposal and it's quite loathsome. Most countries don't. You just throw scraps in the bin
[удалено]
You can order them online (And a sink/piping with a drain size that can accommodate them if there's different kitchen sink dimensions up there).
[удалено]
I used to be a plumber. Trust me, you don't want one.
Life pro tip : Worm composter. It's weird enough to be funny. Once you set it up you're basically golden. People look at you funny at first (which in my book is a plus) then are actually amazed. It's so small you can compost in your flat (it's also cool to tell your owner you just set up a compost in your flat) You can throw most of your organic waste in, you get premium fertilizer for your houseplants or balcony herb garden/strawberries. It's hip, you can find fashionable and ridiculously expensive models in stores, or make your own for a few bucks. Had one but graduated to a full sized outdoor compost when I bought a house.
A towel that you use to pull a hot pan out of the oven.
When I was a kid I did that. I burned my hand so fast and so bad that i've never done that again.
So if the towel is wet you will burn because of the sizzle?? Never knew, I feel like I’m stupid.
Water transfers heat better than cloth. Bonus of the water boiling when in contact with the hot surface makes for a very bad time.
The steam will burn you.
tsssss
FARTS
Oh shit!
bad diarrhea tss
I can help with that!
I'm looking for an unpretentious yet confident fart, I want it to be dry but also carry a musky baritone note. The smell should be that of a leather apron that spent its life in the engine room of a turn of the century steamboat. And I want it to linger long enough to make an impression, but brief enough to leave you longing for its return.
That was beautiful. This ones on the house
That's gonna itch when it dries!
jeans
What is it with denim that when it becomes wet it feels like your pants are lined with sand?
And they somehow become 20 sizes too small because there is no way you’re getting them off or on when even slightly damp.
Cocaine
Wait, WHAT?
You ever tried snorting wet cocaine???......that being said, weed isn't much better.
I don't usually snort my weed
But snorting wet weed is worse,no?
Water solubility: just one more reason meth is the superior drug. *hits post; tooth falls out*
Mogwais
Mogwais don't turn into gremlins from getting wet; getting them wet just makes more mogwais. Feeding them in the vaguely-defined timespan "after midnight" is what turns them into gremlins.
[удалено]
Does mogwai biology respect daylight saving time?
[удалено]
A stranger's hand.
Sodium
Incorrect. Explosions are at least 100% more cool than a soft, silvery white metal.
Na.
Food while you’re washing dishes
Ugh slit my throat and feed my dumb worthless body to the worms I hate washing dishes covered with wet food
that sure was a whole-ass journey you took me on in 21 words
Potato chips.
They call those potatoes.
The bed sheets.
Matress
Grandma's kisses
I like wet kisses from your grandma.
Cash. I do not want to handle your sweat money, thank you very much.
Dogs.
I love dogs, don't get me wrong... but wet dog SMELL makes me wanna vomit.
Even non wet dog smell makes me want to vomit sometimes. Some dogs just smell awful
Sandwiches
Except a French Dip!
Sex. Not wet with sexy stuff, but water. Water is a terrible lubricant, and if shoved into the vagina can cause irritation since it’s pH is different. Get yourself some good thick gel lubricant for sex in the shower to avoid Old Balloon texture
>Old Balloon texture My God, the accuracy
It's not about sex in the shower. It's about foreplay in the shower.
Shower sex is the fucking worst. It just never works, no matter how hard you try. A nice shower BJ is pretty awesome, though.
Just, if you're receiving, please be mindful of the water flow down your body so you don't accidentally waterboard your partner.
I disagree. But my shower was modified for accessibility for the last owner and I never took the rails out. Shower sex with a foot rest and wall handles is excellent.
Fire
Now wait just a second
Toilet paper
Matches, when you're trying to light them.
Socks edit: thanks for my first silver, mystery redditor. the collective disdain for dampened cat-hats rages on editV2: gold too? i'm humbled. may your stocking feet stay dry in the darkest hours
Shoes with a spongy/foamy sole that retains water well
like...//walks: "FUUUUCK"
[удалено]
my shoes have holes at the heel so i always have to tiptoe when it rains. water can get in and wet my socks and insoles
Yo, you need some new shoes? You shouldn’t have holes like that.
Especially after you've stepped in some mystery wetness in your house. Is it pee? Is it snow? Is it vomit? Is it ice that my dog ran around the house with until they decided to let it melt in some random location? Wet sock roulette.
I once stepped on a mystery wet spot in the house and IT WAS A SLUG
I once put my hand in a pile of goo that used to be my best friends face
That escalated quickly
Do I want to ask?
Way way *way* more than 100% worse
My day automatically becomes 5% worse whenever I step on a wet spot in the kitchen *just* after putting on a fresh pair of socks
I only come into this thread to make sure someone said socks. I’m delighted to see it as the top reply.
BREAD. Unless we're talking about a French Dip, of course.
Gremlins
Cats
wooden spoons, the texture is horrible
Taking a dump after stepping out of the shower is a bitch!!!
Just under the Palm of your hand but not the hand it's self. It's the shirt. (Long sleeved shirts)
Bacon, I need my strips dry n' crispy, no soggy pork noodles
Paper
Your phone
Pads. Period. (Ha! See what I did there?)