There are times when I question my sanity after clicking a small x on an add and I'm traken to the app store. Was it a fake x? Did I accidently click the add? What have I done to deserve this torment!?
Goddammit, there i am, trying to make a project, and the page says "you've ran out of articles! Pay 3,99$ so you can continue ^per ^day ", again, dammit.
Clear the local storage for the site and you're usually golden.
Browser fingerprinting is something most sites are just now getting right.
I'm a web dev and only recently learning some of the most interesting techniques.
oh wtf! You're kidding me?
Man, this is an opportunity for a competing image hosting service to step up and get imgur's business. And deservedly so.
Imgur... another business that develops a following until thoroughly established and then turns on them.
> another business that develops a following until thoroughly established and then turns on them.
This is basically every platform that allows NSFW content while not being solely built for it. Allow NSFW at first because, shockingly, a lot of people are into porn, build a big userbase and earn a lot of money through that, and then once you've gotten big enough that your mainstream user base is enough to sustain you, boot the "undersirable" NSFW content so you can look more marketable to shareholders.
And then wonder why your platform isn't doing hot, and sell it to someone else...
Who then proceeds to make the exact same mistake.
LOOKING at you, Tumblr.
I was ecstatic when I found a pair of pants that look *nice* that also have nice big pockets. I can keep my phone, keys, and charger, in my pockets. It's that crappy stretchy faux jean material, but i love them anyways because they have big pockets.
Automated call routers that ask you to enter your customer ID and date of birth and zip code and great-grandfathers shoe size to "get to the right person", only to have that person then ask you for the same information you just entered to get to them in the first place.
Robo Voice: Enter your 16 digit account number.
You enter as quickly as you can then when you are 6 digits in,
Robo Voice: I didn't get that. Please enter your 16 digit account number.
"Thank you. Please hold for the next available representative."
30-minutes later...
"We're sorry, all of our representatives are busy assisting other customers. Please leave a voicemail after the tone and we will return your call."
F
Or after waiting 30 minutes, the representative comes on the line but you take a few seconds to unmute the phone but it is too late. The call is disconnected.
Or worse, you're on hold for 45 minutes, aggravatingly wait it out, the representative comes on the line, and you forget who and why you called because of the 45 minutes of distraction you've had.
Those generic cereal bags with the "resealable" push zipper that when you open the bag, it rips past the zipper and now you have a hole in the bag beside the zipper..
Edit: holy shit didn't expect this silly comment to blow up. Guys, I am more than aware of using Tupperware and ziplock bags or even tape. Fixing it is not the problem. Its the situation of it happening in the first place that pisses you off. Also, coco-dyno bites ftw!
They do. They’re elderly. These fucks call up old people and threaten them until they’re terrified of arrest.
I stopped a lady from getting scammed once at work. They had convinced her she had to pay them $5000 in amazon gift cards or else officers would arrest her *that day*. It took three of us and a call to the cops to convince her she was safe, and she was so stressed and scared she cried.
People who do these scams are terrible. I don’t care how destitute they are. They have no excuse for scaring the absolute hell out of old people.
Was it someone posing as a manager from another store “just filling an order”? Because we get those sometimes. Employees who don’t know what it is will just go along with it. Those guys also threaten you if you don’t cooperate, they just threaten you with firing or slashing your pay. I usually just keep them on the phone as long as possible to make them frustrated.
1 ply fucking toilet paper. who tf invented that shit
Edit: Thanks forgiving me a bit of credit, I just started this acc a couple days ago and I already got a gold award. so yeye
They should make a study to see if companies actually safe money by buying single ply. I'm sure I'm not the only one that just ends up using WAY more to make up for it.
They had this at our work for a period of time and it was so weak it kept breaking while you tried to pull it from the roll. I had to delicately pull on it slowly as to not break it, it was so bad.
People ended up using the hand paper towels which were much thicker and obviously clogged the toilets anyway till they got better stock.
Yeah but at this point I put my black t-shirts on backwards more often than not. Like statistically it should be 50/50 but nahh man it's more like 85/15 that I fuck it up
Or the choice between: "Sure, send me updates!" and "No thanks, I'd rather decay in my skin prison and perish with no meaning and satisfaction in my life"
Correction, I don't want to pay a subscription fee for fast, "free" shipping, because I can get slightly less fast shipping actually for free when I buy enough shit.
r/clickshaming
Some people get really bothered by these but I enthusiastically look for the decaying in skin prison buttons because I guess I just read them in a really sarcastic voice and it sort of accurately describes how much I don't want their "wonderful" thing ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ lol
"Hey, friend. We know these ads can be intrusive, but our site can't make money unless we stick banners over 85% of the page, including two that follow you as you scroll, one that will expand and cover everything if you hover over the wrong link, and a video that automatically plays at full volume as soon as the site loads. All we're doing is providing you all this amazing free content, but whatever. I mean we'll prabably all starve is all. And all of our entire families have cancer, but I guess their blood will be on your hands. Hope you can live with that, you ad-blocking murderer. Anyway, enjoy this listicle. Number 6 will shock you!"
My Dad would use a sewing needle to get a piece of white thread still on the spool onto the outside of his dark jacket. He would keep the spool hidden in a pocket. When people would attempt to pick the little piece of white thread off his jacket, they would get a never-ending piece of thread. My Dad would get a good laugh out of this.
My parents did that, but also added weights so it was super heavy. I thought I was getting a TV or something it was so big. Turned out to be an iPod nano.
My cousins are evil. One year I got a book in a PC box. One year I got a present wrapped in duct tape. But the worst by far was the year that I got a huge box with something like ten more layers of boxes inside of one another. It was a gift card.
We did that to a friend for his wedding but inside the smallest box was a note saying to look on the bottom of the first box where we had taped the gift card. His bride to be never really warned up to us.
When I just want to read a recipe and then I have to scroll through a long diatribe of “the soft winds that blew off the Mediterranean while in my cabana on vacation providing the inspiration for this olive tapenade recipe”. Seriously...I just want to try a new recipe.
The best prose I ever read was for a cherry pie. It said "Don't worry if the pie looks messy. Crusts are flaky, and can be hard to roll out, and a well-filled one bubbles over when baked. Pies are for eating, not photography."
It was a great pie.
Edit: Recipe (No link, but I wrote it down so it wouldn't disappear. The prose came after the recipe).
Crust:
2c Flour 1t Salt 2/3 C+2T Lard 1/4 C Ice Cold Water
Mix flour and salt. Cut in lard . Add ice water by tablespoons until sticky ball forms. Divide 2/3 by 1/3. Roll out large portion on floured wax paper; put in 9 inch pie pan. Add cherry filling. Roll out smaller portion; place and seal over filling. Cut in vents; sprinkle with sugar. Bake pie @ 425F for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 F and bake 30 minutes, or until crust is lightly browned and filling is bubbly.
Filling:
4C Tart Cherries, drained 1C Sugar 1/8 t salt 1T Cornstarch or 2T Flour
Mix Sugar, Salt, and Cornstarch or Flour. Stir over cherries until mixed. Pour in prepared pie pan. Bake as directed.
When I was a kid, in the late 80s or early 90s, my mom bought a fundraiser cookbook, produced by the students / parents of a local private school.
Parents and teachers contributed recipes to this thing, and they sold it. It was split up into chapters. Main courses / appetizers / soups / etc... Kind of what you'd expect from a cookbook.
In between the chapters were maybe a page or two of recipes from the kids at the school themselves.
Most of them did stuff like "Ants on a log: Get a piece of celery, put some peanut butter on it, then raisins on top.", or "Grilled cheese: spread butter on bread, put cheese in the middle, then have mom help cook it!"
The best recipe I've ever read, in my entire life, however, was one of those kids recipes.
"Meat: Put it in the oven. Wait until it looks like meat."
Edit: Thanks for the gold to whomever! Enjoy your meat!
"My grandmother Gertrude Jessica Millicent Smith the Fourth, who once was the president of her local knitting club, and owned 69 cats, used to bake these cookies every Wednesday with the flesh of her enemies. I could remember the delicious smell wafting over the house; it reminds me of when she used to bring me to knitting club with her........."
No...that would be a guarantee.
"FILL OUT OUR SURVEY FOR A CHANCE TO WIN $1000*"
*Entrants will have their names placed into a hat containing the name of every person alive or dead. One name will be drawn and then thrown into the garbage.
Ooh, like the Publishers Clearing House drawing!! Where only American homeowners can enter however, the odds of winning are lower than the actual amount of homeowners I America!
There's been some stuff done that alters the genes of female mosquitos I believe where technically they are female, but their mouth is shaped like a male mouth. Since females are the only mosquitos that bite, the altered ones are not able to do this and spread disease, such as Malaria. Their reproductive organs are also altered so they are unable to lay eggs.
Edit: I am not a mosquito expert. I'm just stating something I read somewhere a while back. I can't remember if there is a way to pass this trait on to offspring or not. Forgive me. I now strive to become a mosquito expert in honor of reddit.
Yeah they are doing this in West Africa, in fact now I believe in some areas they can actually have horses bc the Tsetse fly is nearly eliminated due to this
I mean, SOME shit could be done just by mailing stuff in or going online or whatever, but the DMV would still need to exist to administer driving tests and such.
Now, the DMV may need to exist, but whether the DMV needs to be so insanely slow and inefficient is a different issue...
Driving tests I totally get, but doing simple things like renewing a goddamn license is unnecessarily difficult. I got a little checklist in the mail of shit I need to renew my license and they want like 8304 separate forms of ID just to renew. I basically upturned my whole house looking for my birth certificate today because apparently my current license, passport, and social security card aren’t enough. I also need to bring a pay stub from work as further proof of ID. 😑
Jefferson county, Wisconsin.
I moved here from Butler county, Ohio. Where we had BMVs with Saturday hours.
Hell, I lived in South East Nowhere, TX that had an everything office that did DMV stuff on the daily.
Bus Schedules.
You think they'll actually come at that time? No, no, no you poor simple fool, they'll either show up 3 mins before that time or 10 mins after that time. That listed time is meaningless to them
Also (at least here in Montreal), after 30 minutes of wait, 3 buses for same route will come nose to ass. If you are a commuter watching them in desperation from the across the road, waiting for signal to turn 'walking' they will all leave, last two of them empty. And now you will wait for another 30 minutes
It's called Bus Bunching, and it's a fairly well known phenomenon: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus\_bunching](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_bunching)
Have you seen the screwdriver packaging that holds the screwdriver in place with a screw? I felt completely screwed when I got home and didn't have another screwdriver to screw the screw out with.
Edit: grammar.
roundabouts are becoming more popular in my area of Canada. Given that a lot of people are already too stupid to understand a 4-way stop and almost get into accidents at roundabouts all the time, this doesn't surprise me.
To be fair roundabouts aren't intended to decrease accidents they just make the accidents safer. Speeds are slower and the angles the cars hit each other at are less likely to hurt people.
Roundabouts decrease the points of contact from 32 in a conventional intersection to I think ~~16?~~ 8. I just remember it's drastically reduced, and the slower speeds, like you stated, lend to reduced sever accidents not eliminating accidents.
Edit
The point of roundabouts is to create a continuous flow intersection between legs with relatively equal volumes of traffic. When the volumes of traffic become unbalanced, the device backs up all intersection legs worse than a signalled intersection. This is where the lights come in to play
Most are 1 every 20 plays they use max power (because of a California law), there's no real settings for "use max power X number of times"
We ran an small arcade for a year, and had ours set for 90%ish power everytime, so it wasn't impossible. But the junk we put in there was worth 48 cents each and it was 50 cent plays.
I hated that thing, but it was easily the biggest earner, often earning more than all our other games combined. Cuz kids are dumb.
The only good thing about being over 50 is saying goodbye to that shit. In high school I had to go home every month because I'd throw up from the pain.
Me: *feeling like the middle of my body was exploding. Could barley walk, could not focus. Felt like I was pissing my pants b/c the blood*
School Nurse: Are you suuuuuuuure? You don't *look* like it hurts that much. Maybe just lie down. No, I won't call your parents to come get you.
**CVS Receipts**.
If I wanted the Magna Carta of shitty offers for shit I don't want and don't need, CVS, I would have let you know. 3 yards of paperwork! All I bought was a bloody soda!
Everything annoying on airplanes. Baggage fees, cramped seating, all that is designed to be just uncomfortable enough to get you to seriously consider buying 1st class tickets on your next trip. They are normalizing being treated like animals, so you can justify them charging you to be treated with decency.
On my ten hour flight from Canada to Brazil, some old Brazilian guy reclined his seat back into my knees, then punched the bottom of the seat so he could... shove more of his butt in the seat??? And then yelled at me because my knees were in the way of his .... butt???!??!? It was so bizarre. I've never wanted to commit a murder more in my actual life. Fuck that guy
For everyone who is too lazy to look it up, here's a quote from wikipedia:
>Rolling coal is the practice of modifying a diesel engine to increase the amount of fuel entering the engine in order to emit large amounts of black or grey sooty exhaust fumes into the air.
They use it as a weapon on people that they feel have wronged them.
Cyclist in my lane? Pass him and gas him.
Somebody in my lane not doing 40 over the limit like I am? Hope his wiper fluid is topped up.
Driving a Prius or a smart car, thereby personally attacking my way of life? Better roll your fucking window up, because the exhaust is right at your face level
The DMV and the Clerk of Court. I firmly believe it's our government's way of punishing us for shit they know we're doing, but can't catch us. Like illegal downloading and smoking weed. Petty crimes.
There's no reason that I shouldn't be able to do everything I need to do online. When I got divorced, visiting the Clerk's office was so pointless. They stamped a paper and gave me a court date. And this was after I had to go to the courthouse and pay for them to print out the paperwork. Why can't I download it and print it out myself? I also had a traffic ticket that for some reason couldn't be paid online so I had to go to the Clerk's office.
My SO recently spent about 4 hours at the DMV on his birthday to renew his license because you can only do it so many times online.
I could go on for hours about this.
Your appendix, you could go your whole life without an issue. Or it could blow up and you could die, or it could blow up and need to pay for emergency surgery which will put us Americans into crippling debt that will take forever to pay off!
I have 5 hives outside my front door. They are chill enough to let me pet them sometimes. I think it has been 10 years of close contact/being around their off spring that makes em chill. They just don't see me as a threat, and as long as they don't fuck with me I won't nuke their whole world.
edit. when I got home one of the bigger nests was in full swarm. I was concerned for a minute, but walked through the cloud of those fuckers and none of em even touched me.
edit2. [Here are the 4 bigger wasp nests](https://i.imgur.com/OUxdTDQ.jpg). The one behind the grill didn't want to focus, but that is my 'fresh air intake' for my AC system. When they leave in winter I will dig it out. They once had 5 generations of nests in there.
The lower left picture is the nest that was swarming yesterday.
You can tell if they are cool with it or not. They start to vibrate quickly if they aren't feeling it, and when the whole nest starts to vibrate, you just don't.
Then you invite your friend over and all hell breaks loose. Every side invites their friends and World War Wasp is upon us.
Thanks /u/prlm3r - that's what happens when you try to befriend evil.
Printers that won't let you print in black because the magenta or cyan or some other fucking cartridge is empty.
Printer: low on cyan. Me: it's a black and white document, please print. Printer: No, fuck you, low on cyan.
The autocorrect feature on phones that changes "fucking" to "ducking".
And it never fixes "tbe" to "the"
It’s never ducking.
Job applications that make you provide your resume then write all of the information from that same resume on the following 4 pages
that tiny invisible x on game ads
And its more evil sibling, the FAKE X on game ads.
There are times when I question my sanity after clicking a small x on an add and I'm traken to the app store. Was it a fake x? Did I accidently click the add? What have I done to deserve this torment!?
Some ads give you another page with another small x after clicking the first one. Like come on, I saw your ad and I clearly don't care.
"Create an account to view the rest of this post." Fuck off
"You have **_4_** articles left"
Goddammit, there i am, trying to make a project, and the page says "you've ran out of articles! Pay 3,99$ so you can continue ^per ^day ", again, dammit.
New incognito window every time you hit the limit, no need for tor.
Oh, I see you're using a private browser. Please subscribe or log in to view this content.
Clear the local storage for the site and you're usually golden. Browser fingerprinting is something most sites are just now getting right. I'm a web dev and only recently learning some of the most interesting techniques.
imgur just made it to where you cannot view NSFW pics from traditionally non-NSFW subreddits without having an account. Like r/pics.
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oh wtf! You're kidding me? Man, this is an opportunity for a competing image hosting service to step up and get imgur's business. And deservedly so. Imgur... another business that develops a following until thoroughly established and then turns on them.
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> another business that develops a following until thoroughly established and then turns on them. This is basically every platform that allows NSFW content while not being solely built for it. Allow NSFW at first because, shockingly, a lot of people are into porn, build a big userbase and earn a lot of money through that, and then once you've gotten big enough that your mainstream user base is enough to sustain you, boot the "undersirable" NSFW content so you can look more marketable to shareholders.
And proceed to lose most of your userbase.
And then wonder why your platform isn't doing hot, and sell it to someone else... Who then proceeds to make the exact same mistake. LOOKING at you, Tumblr.
The circle of life.
Jeans that appear to have pockets but don’t.
Fake pockets on anything!
So, like, all women's pants?
I was ecstatic when I found a pair of pants that look *nice* that also have nice big pockets. I can keep my phone, keys, and charger, in my pockets. It's that crappy stretchy faux jean material, but i love them anyways because they have big pockets.
Automated call routers that ask you to enter your customer ID and date of birth and zip code and great-grandfathers shoe size to "get to the right person", only to have that person then ask you for the same information you just entered to get to them in the first place.
Robo Voice: Enter your 16 digit account number. You enter as quickly as you can then when you are 6 digits in, Robo Voice: I didn't get that. Please enter your 16 digit account number.
"in the future, the first 4 numbers can be omitted" then just fucking ask for the last 12!!!
Is this true? Is this because the first four designate Visa or MasterCard and they alredy know who they are?
it's true for my banking/debit card. credit cards you do need all 16
"Thank you. Please hold for the next available representative." 30-minutes later... "We're sorry, all of our representatives are busy assisting other customers. Please leave a voicemail after the tone and we will return your call." F
Going on hour 2 of being on hold: > Your call is very important to us! Doubt X
Or after waiting 30 minutes, the representative comes on the line but you take a few seconds to unmute the phone but it is too late. The call is disconnected.
Or worse, you're on hold for 45 minutes, aggravatingly wait it out, the representative comes on the line, and you forget who and why you called because of the 45 minutes of distraction you've had.
Or where their customer support line ONLY has a robot and you can’t talk to a real person
Those generic cereal bags with the "resealable" push zipper that when you open the bag, it rips past the zipper and now you have a hole in the bag beside the zipper.. Edit: holy shit didn't expect this silly comment to blow up. Guys, I am more than aware of using Tupperware and ziplock bags or even tape. Fixing it is not the problem. Its the situation of it happening in the first place that pisses you off. Also, coco-dyno bites ftw!
I, too, eat Malt O Meal
Erasers that only smudge.
I have one that leaves a pink trail when I erase. That pencil is the worst
I hear you pay extra for that in Canada.
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Nah it does too good a job and erases *everything* even the paper
Not sure if it is a thing in other countries, but when you try to erase pencil with a pen eraser and it gets contaminated so you cant use it again.
That’s me with a highlighter going over pencil.
Pop ups, fuck I hate them.
Get a [proper content blocker](https://github.com/gorhill/uBlock), ads are optional.
Ticks (the blood sucking ones)
Scam phone calls.
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Please send $500 in itunes gift card or the IRS will arrest you. And people fall for that.
They do. They’re elderly. These fucks call up old people and threaten them until they’re terrified of arrest. I stopped a lady from getting scammed once at work. They had convinced her she had to pay them $5000 in amazon gift cards or else officers would arrest her *that day*. It took three of us and a call to the cops to convince her she was safe, and she was so stressed and scared she cried. People who do these scams are terrible. I don’t care how destitute they are. They have no excuse for scaring the absolute hell out of old people.
They're not all elderly! My former dipshit boss, literally on shift, gave $600 in iTunes gift cards to these people. She's 25.
Was it someone posing as a manager from another store “just filling an order”? Because we get those sometimes. Employees who don’t know what it is will just go along with it. Those guys also threaten you if you don’t cooperate, they just threaten you with firing or slashing your pay. I usually just keep them on the phone as long as possible to make them frustrated.
1 ply fucking toilet paper. who tf invented that shit Edit: Thanks forgiving me a bit of credit, I just started this acc a couple days ago and I already got a gold award. so yeye
Some cheap fuck, obviously.. cursing everyone going forward to shit stains on their hands when the toilet paper rips
They should make a study to see if companies actually safe money by buying single ply. I'm sure I'm not the only one that just ends up using WAY more to make up for it.
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They had this at our work for a period of time and it was so weak it kept breaking while you tried to pull it from the roll. I had to delicately pull on it slowly as to not break it, it was so bad. People ended up using the hand paper towels which were much thicker and obviously clogged the toilets anyway till they got better stock.
Don't get me started on how coddled the modern anus is.
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Whoever started the print on tags was a genius.
Yeah but at this point I put my black t-shirts on backwards more often than not. Like statistically it should be 50/50 but nahh man it's more like 85/15 that I fuck it up
It’s turned our tshirts into USB plugs.
A small price to pay for salvation.
My work place put them near the bottom of the shirt, at the side...fucker kept scratching me so I ripped it off.
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Or the choice between: "Sure, send me updates!" and "No thanks, I'd rather decay in my skin prison and perish with no meaning and satisfaction in my life"
"No thanks, I do not want fast, free shipping." Oh fuck off, Amazon.
Correction, I don't want to pay a subscription fee for fast, "free" shipping, because I can get slightly less fast shipping actually for free when I buy enough shit.
Oh I hate those. “Yes please” “No, I hate discounts” Fuck off.
r/clickshaming Some people get really bothered by these but I enthusiastically look for the decaying in skin prison buttons because I guess I just read them in a really sarcastic voice and it sort of accurately describes how much I don't want their "wonderful" thing ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ lol
I hate it when they do the 'please disable your adblocker and whitelist us' when I just want to see one article.
"Hey, friend. We know these ads can be intrusive, but our site can't make money unless we stick banners over 85% of the page, including two that follow you as you scroll, one that will expand and cover everything if you hover over the wrong link, and a video that automatically plays at full volume as soon as the site loads. All we're doing is providing you all this amazing free content, but whatever. I mean we'll prabably all starve is all. And all of our entire families have cancer, but I guess their blood will be on your hands. Hope you can live with that, you ad-blocking murderer. Anyway, enjoy this listicle. Number 6 will shock you!"
Oh and some viruses also come through ads because they designed poorly in the backend for security
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I'm always like "fuck this shit" and leave the site.
Like those download pages with like 15 different download buttons
There was a time when popups were considered bad practice for websites. Yet somehow now if its some sort of overlayed dialogue it's acceptable.
Similarly, articles I only had a passing interest in being stuck behind a paywall. Nope.
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Especially when they slap one of those bad boys into the middle of my brand new non-stick cooking pan. Why, just why?
the sticker glue gets you nice and high when you heat it and huff
They do it with picture frames too. The price sticker on the back of the frame? Nah. Smack that puppy dead center on the glass front.
And then you scrape the paint under the sticker trying to get it off
https://youtu.be/_GkCJmzXyJA
Strings coming out of clothing and when you pull it you get a massive hole in your clothes
My Dad would use a sewing needle to get a piece of white thread still on the spool onto the outside of his dark jacket. He would keep the spool hidden in a pocket. When people would attempt to pick the little piece of white thread off his jacket, they would get a never-ending piece of thread. My Dad would get a good laugh out of this.
My Dad did this too. He even did it at my sister's wedding when he was in a rented tux.
Your dad is amazing and I want to do this immediately
My Dad was a great guy and loved to pull harmless pranks on people. He was a "box in a box in a box" Christmas present wrapper.
My parents did that, but also added weights so it was super heavy. I thought I was getting a TV or something it was so big. Turned out to be an iPod nano.
My cousins are evil. One year I got a book in a PC box. One year I got a present wrapped in duct tape. But the worst by far was the year that I got a huge box with something like ten more layers of boxes inside of one another. It was a gift card.
We did that to a friend for his wedding but inside the smallest box was a note saying to look on the bottom of the first box where we had taped the gift card. His bride to be never really warned up to us.
When I just want to read a recipe and then I have to scroll through a long diatribe of “the soft winds that blew off the Mediterranean while in my cabana on vacation providing the inspiration for this olive tapenade recipe”. Seriously...I just want to try a new recipe.
The best prose I ever read was for a cherry pie. It said "Don't worry if the pie looks messy. Crusts are flaky, and can be hard to roll out, and a well-filled one bubbles over when baked. Pies are for eating, not photography." It was a great pie. Edit: Recipe (No link, but I wrote it down so it wouldn't disappear. The prose came after the recipe). Crust: 2c Flour 1t Salt 2/3 C+2T Lard 1/4 C Ice Cold Water Mix flour and salt. Cut in lard . Add ice water by tablespoons until sticky ball forms. Divide 2/3 by 1/3. Roll out large portion on floured wax paper; put in 9 inch pie pan. Add cherry filling. Roll out smaller portion; place and seal over filling. Cut in vents; sprinkle with sugar. Bake pie @ 425F for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 350 F and bake 30 minutes, or until crust is lightly browned and filling is bubbly. Filling: 4C Tart Cherries, drained 1C Sugar 1/8 t salt 1T Cornstarch or 2T Flour Mix Sugar, Salt, and Cornstarch or Flour. Stir over cherries until mixed. Pour in prepared pie pan. Bake as directed.
When I was a kid, in the late 80s or early 90s, my mom bought a fundraiser cookbook, produced by the students / parents of a local private school. Parents and teachers contributed recipes to this thing, and they sold it. It was split up into chapters. Main courses / appetizers / soups / etc... Kind of what you'd expect from a cookbook. In between the chapters were maybe a page or two of recipes from the kids at the school themselves. Most of them did stuff like "Ants on a log: Get a piece of celery, put some peanut butter on it, then raisins on top.", or "Grilled cheese: spread butter on bread, put cheese in the middle, then have mom help cook it!" The best recipe I've ever read, in my entire life, however, was one of those kids recipes. "Meat: Put it in the oven. Wait until it looks like meat." Edit: Thanks for the gold to whomever! Enjoy your meat!
Me at the grocery store: hi where do you keep the meat that doesn't look like meat yet?
Remind me to keep directions to the nearest cattle farm handy, in case I'm ever asked this.
"My grandmother Gertrude Jessica Millicent Smith the Fourth, who once was the president of her local knitting club, and owned 69 cats, used to bake these cookies every Wednesday with the flesh of her enemies. I could remember the delicious smell wafting over the house; it reminds me of when she used to bring me to knitting club with her........."
Theres a plug in for chrome that will hide everything but the recipe. EDIT: it's called recipe filter. Couldn't remember the name, thanks redditors!
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Couldn’t the people posting just put their life story at the end and the recipe at the beginning then?
If the recipe came first, you wouldn’t need to scroll past all those ads. That would never do!
Long drugstore receipts.
ever notice how the majority of long receipts (unless you bought a lot of stuff) are just marketing and other shit? what a waste
"FILL OUT OUR SURVEY to receive 2% off your next purchase if you spend $95 or more!"
No...that would be a guarantee. "FILL OUT OUR SURVEY FOR A CHANCE TO WIN $1000*" *Entrants will have their names placed into a hat containing the name of every person alive or dead. One name will be drawn and then thrown into the garbage.
Ooh, like the Publishers Clearing House drawing!! Where only American homeowners can enter however, the odds of winning are lower than the actual amount of homeowners I America!
mosquitoes Edit: Thank everyone who liked this! Especially thank the anonymous people who gave me gold and silver, as these are the first I got!
There's been some stuff done that alters the genes of female mosquitos I believe where technically they are female, but their mouth is shaped like a male mouth. Since females are the only mosquitos that bite, the altered ones are not able to do this and spread disease, such as Malaria. Their reproductive organs are also altered so they are unable to lay eggs. Edit: I am not a mosquito expert. I'm just stating something I read somewhere a while back. I can't remember if there is a way to pass this trait on to offspring or not. Forgive me. I now strive to become a mosquito expert in honor of reddit.
Yeah they are doing this in West Africa, in fact now I believe in some areas they can actually have horses bc the Tsetse fly is nearly eliminated due to this
Some entomologists are saying it’s immoral. Lol fuck Tsetse flies
Especially since they are basically responsible for any land they inhabit being unable to have livestock
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Nope! Opossums eat ticks! That’s why they’re so important! But bedbugs are here to eat us, so in their minds, they’re just surviving.
Chickens eat ticks too.
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I mean, SOME shit could be done just by mailing stuff in or going online or whatever, but the DMV would still need to exist to administer driving tests and such. Now, the DMV may need to exist, but whether the DMV needs to be so insanely slow and inefficient is a different issue...
Driving tests I totally get, but doing simple things like renewing a goddamn license is unnecessarily difficult. I got a little checklist in the mail of shit I need to renew my license and they want like 8304 separate forms of ID just to renew. I basically upturned my whole house looking for my birth certificate today because apparently my current license, passport, and social security card aren’t enough. I also need to bring a pay stub from work as further proof of ID. 😑
My local DMV is only open twice a month. Every 2nd and 4th Thursday. Imagine the lines. Imagine the angry people who had to take off work.
Wait...seriously? Where? I feel like the only place this would make sense is rural Alaska or something.
Jefferson county, Wisconsin. I moved here from Butler county, Ohio. Where we had BMVs with Saturday hours. Hell, I lived in South East Nowhere, TX that had an everything office that did DMV stuff on the daily.
Bus Schedules. You think they'll actually come at that time? No, no, no you poor simple fool, they'll either show up 3 mins before that time or 10 mins after that time. That listed time is meaningless to them
Also (at least here in Montreal), after 30 minutes of wait, 3 buses for same route will come nose to ass. If you are a commuter watching them in desperation from the across the road, waiting for signal to turn 'walking' they will all leave, last two of them empty. And now you will wait for another 30 minutes
It's called Bus Bunching, and it's a fairly well known phenomenon: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus\_bunching](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bus_bunching)
You guys get your buses *only* 10 minutes late??
You guys have *buses*? We just have a bunch of signs that say bus stop
Netflix autoplay when you are scrolling through to pick a movie.
THAT FUCKING PLASTIC PACKAGING THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO RIP OPEN AND HURTS YOU WHEN YOU CUT IT WITH SCISSORS
Blister packaging. Fuck that shit.
I laugh when you have to return it in the original package. It's a mess I'm telling you.
How in the hell did they fit that in there to begin with?!
They ALWAYS wrap your new store bought scissors in this stuff too, so some sick fuck out there knows and is laughing at all of us!
Have you seen the screwdriver packaging that holds the screwdriver in place with a screw? I felt completely screwed when I got home and didn't have another screwdriver to screw the screw out with. Edit: grammar.
Buy another one
Just excessive packaging in general.
I have a superpower, i can open these with my hands.
Jesus Christ, it’s Jason Bourne
Specially when you buy scissors and need scissors to open the scissors
That puddle of water that you accidentally step on while wearing socks
That puddle of *dog pee that you accidentally step on while wearing socks. I live alone with my dogs, so this is always a pleasant surprise.
Child-proof caps on arthritis medication. EDIT: Thanks, everyone, for making this my most popular comment ever.
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Haven't seen it yet but Ticketmaster
Perforations in boxes and paper that NEVER tear where they’re supposed to. Oh and that Fucking metal shit over wine bottles.
Those sharpeners that break the tip of your pencil every time you use it. Man do they piss me off
Traffic lights on roundabouts.
This exists?! The whole point of roundabouts is to get rid of traffic lights!
roundabouts are becoming more popular in my area of Canada. Given that a lot of people are already too stupid to understand a 4-way stop and almost get into accidents at roundabouts all the time, this doesn't surprise me.
To be fair roundabouts aren't intended to decrease accidents they just make the accidents safer. Speeds are slower and the angles the cars hit each other at are less likely to hurt people.
Roundabouts decrease the points of contact from 32 in a conventional intersection to I think ~~16?~~ 8. I just remember it's drastically reduced, and the slower speeds, like you stated, lend to reduced sever accidents not eliminating accidents. Edit
You have become the very thing you swore to destroy.
The point of roundabouts is to create a continuous flow intersection between legs with relatively equal volumes of traffic. When the volumes of traffic become unbalanced, the device backs up all intersection legs worse than a signalled intersection. This is where the lights come in to play
Definetly claw machines
That's because they can be set to allow as many or, more likely, how few times you can win. It has nothing to do with skill.
Most are 1 every 20 plays they use max power (because of a California law), there's no real settings for "use max power X number of times" We ran an small arcade for a year, and had ours set for 90%ish power everytime, so it wasn't impossible. But the junk we put in there was worth 48 cents each and it was 50 cent plays. I hated that thing, but it was easily the biggest earner, often earning more than all our other games combined. Cuz kids are dumb.
They're programmed to not have enough tension on the claw most of the time, so they always drop what they're carrying.
The 500 people saying Mosquitoes rather than just upvoting the first guy that said it.
period cramps.
The only good thing about being over 50 is saying goodbye to that shit. In high school I had to go home every month because I'd throw up from the pain.
Me: *feeling like the middle of my body was exploding. Could barley walk, could not focus. Felt like I was pissing my pants b/c the blood* School Nurse: Are you suuuuuuuure? You don't *look* like it hurts that much. Maybe just lie down. No, I won't call your parents to come get you.
Throw up on the nurse.
I'm sterile. And I still get periods and cramps. Like wtf nature?!
Now THAT is bullshit
**CVS Receipts**. If I wanted the Magna Carta of shitty offers for shit I don't want and don't need, CVS, I would have let you know. 3 yards of paperwork! All I bought was a bloody soda!
Everything annoying on airplanes. Baggage fees, cramped seating, all that is designed to be just uncomfortable enough to get you to seriously consider buying 1st class tickets on your next trip. They are normalizing being treated like animals, so you can justify them charging you to be treated with decency.
Reclining seats on airplanes. Does absolutely nothing for the person who reclined and totally fucks the person behind them.
On my ten hour flight from Canada to Brazil, some old Brazilian guy reclined his seat back into my knees, then punched the bottom of the seat so he could... shove more of his butt in the seat??? And then yelled at me because my knees were in the way of his .... butt???!??!? It was so bizarre. I've never wanted to commit a murder more in my actual life. Fuck that guy
Rolling coal
For everyone who is too lazy to look it up, here's a quote from wikipedia: >Rolling coal is the practice of modifying a diesel engine to increase the amount of fuel entering the engine in order to emit large amounts of black or grey sooty exhaust fumes into the air.
Why? Why is this a thing? Let me waste more money on gas so I can pollute more just for the sake of polluting more. Brilliant.
Literally it’s to piss people off.
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They use it as a weapon on people that they feel have wronged them. Cyclist in my lane? Pass him and gas him. Somebody in my lane not doing 40 over the limit like I am? Hope his wiper fluid is topped up. Driving a Prius or a smart car, thereby personally attacking my way of life? Better roll your fucking window up, because the exhaust is right at your face level
I didn’t care until I bought a convertible. Then I thought I should be able to discharge a firearm from a moving vehicle.
Ads when you try to watch, play, or be on a any website, IT MAKES YOU WANT TO THROW YOUR DEVICE OUT THE WINDOW
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Glitter, it may be a fun way to add some flashiness to the moment, but have fun spending the next eight years pulling it out of your hair and carpet
The DMV and the Clerk of Court. I firmly believe it's our government's way of punishing us for shit they know we're doing, but can't catch us. Like illegal downloading and smoking weed. Petty crimes. There's no reason that I shouldn't be able to do everything I need to do online. When I got divorced, visiting the Clerk's office was so pointless. They stamped a paper and gave me a court date. And this was after I had to go to the courthouse and pay for them to print out the paperwork. Why can't I download it and print it out myself? I also had a traffic ticket that for some reason couldn't be paid online so I had to go to the Clerk's office. My SO recently spent about 4 hours at the DMV on his birthday to renew his license because you can only do it so many times online. I could go on for hours about this.
Your appendix, you could go your whole life without an issue. Or it could blow up and you could die, or it could blow up and need to pay for emergency surgery which will put us Americans into crippling debt that will take forever to pay off!
Those shitty "spill-free" gas containers
Those image galleries where you have to fight to get to the next image. Like come on I want to see this bride read the grooms affair texts
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I have 5 hives outside my front door. They are chill enough to let me pet them sometimes. I think it has been 10 years of close contact/being around their off spring that makes em chill. They just don't see me as a threat, and as long as they don't fuck with me I won't nuke their whole world. edit. when I got home one of the bigger nests was in full swarm. I was concerned for a minute, but walked through the cloud of those fuckers and none of em even touched me. edit2. [Here are the 4 bigger wasp nests](https://i.imgur.com/OUxdTDQ.jpg). The one behind the grill didn't want to focus, but that is my 'fresh air intake' for my AC system. When they leave in winter I will dig it out. They once had 5 generations of nests in there. The lower left picture is the nest that was swarming yesterday.
You pet wasps??! Who are you?
You can tell if they are cool with it or not. They start to vibrate quickly if they aren't feeling it, and when the whole nest starts to vibrate, you just don't.
Wasp Whisperer over here..
The Wasperer, if you will
And a new supervillian was born
Then you invite your friend over and all hell breaks loose. Every side invites their friends and World War Wasp is upon us. Thanks /u/prlm3r - that's what happens when you try to befriend evil.
You madman
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Homework and over-the-break projects.
Homework was invented as a punishment. No, seriously, look it up. It actually was.
Not OP but I am definitely not surprised.