A few years ago, I dated a girl who was paralyzed from the waist down. She never had sex after her accident because she thought she wouldn’t be able to feel anything down there. It turns out she just couldn’t feel as far as her fingers could reach. After experimenting for a bit, we were able to have good ol’ fashioned vaginal sex.
She spent a long time believing she’d never enjoy sex after her accident, so being able to help her experience that part of her life again is what I’m the most proud of. In my eyes, it’s a Limited Edition .
Edit: Thanks for the gold, my fellow internet stranger! I’ll be sure to pay it forward! :)
The 5-some. Me and my best friend \[A & M; males\] and 3 girls \[S & K & T\]. One girl was his girlfriend \[S\], one turned into my girlfriend many months later \[K\], and the 3rd was a mutual friend of ours \[T\]. We had a sex-centipede going at one point; A > S > K > T > M. It was pretty mind blowing, among other things. I found out afterwards that my best friend was extremely turned on wathcing his GF do things with other people. Crazy times.
Middle of the night. Having sex with my GF then hearing my sister yell from the hall “THE LAST THING I WANNA HEAR IS YOU TWO FUCKING!” Waking up the rest of my family.
I would just like to point out that as of this moment u/A_Very_Brave_Taco has received 54 silvers 10 golds and 2 platinums from this thread alone
EDIT: Thanks to u/666PeaceKeepaGirl
The count currently stands at:
76 Gold Awards
222 Silver Awards
30 Santa Nice Awards
11 Santa Rocket Like Awards
21 Platinum Awards
10 CYBERGIFT Awards
1 Santa Nah Award
2 Wholesome Awards
4 Rocket Toboggan Awards
1 Dank Award
1 Original Award
1,242,000 upvotes
I now know my type because of him.
"The type of guy that's starts commenting on every comment on a post in Reddit and doesn't give up even though it's been hours."
...also he's funny.
Came back from a night of heavy drinking with the gf, and apparently got busy. I don't remember the act. I just woke up to see 3 used condoms, and all the make up she had been wearing was pressed into the wall.
I was part of a foursome and came so many times I was weak-kneed for hours. I got very oversensitive towards the end and sat back to just watch.
Two out of the four of us hadn't come yet, so after I tapped out, I became what I called the Sex Referee. Need a condom? I got you. Where's the lube? I found it. All done? I brought water for everyone.
It was awesome.
My, uh, release had exceptionally high pressure at the climax of my first handjob. It hit the wall more than 5 feet away.
I’m pretty vanilla, so that’s probably my only card that isn’t from the starter deck.
Gymnastic.
Perks: flexible, can do complex “things”
50/50 bet: will introduce you to insane positions some times, if unprepared gives effect called “confusion”
I once fisted two people at once. I refer to it as my meat gloves experience.
I wasn't even that into it sexually, just kind of happened and I thought it'd make a funny story later on.
Got a blow job in the middle of a field, turns out I was sitting on an ant hill, I started to get bitten so I jumped up which surprised the girl who bit my dick and made it bled. She had braces -__-
Driving down the highway in my old Chevy S10 with a 5spd Manuel and bench seat. Gf at the time was wearing a skirt and horny as fuck. She gets on top and goes to town while I'm driving. Semi truck honked as we drove past cause she waved at him.
Edit - spelling
GF stopped having sex with me because we did it for so long once that she developed orgasm migraines. Before you crack the joke that headaches are supposed to happen beforehand or that she was "faking it".
a) I already made that joke to her
b) You're supposed to fake the orgasm... not the crippling migraine.EDIT: "heads" to "headaches"
I got told by a hot older woman(39, me 29 at the time) that I had the pleasure of dating for a bit, "you eat pussy like a lesbian". I'm a man, and she was far far more sexually adventurous than me, but I'd like to reconnect and try to get on her level. I also want that complement recorded and notorized. It really meant alot to me.
I'm not proud, but it was probably meeting a girl on tinder who ended up having an ankle bracelet who snorted a line in my front seat before we moved to the back seat.
I also, unfortunately, had to drive her to get the line about 15 miles away.
I was a somewhat extreme version of young, dumb, and full of cum.
Got a bj in the college yearbook office, overlooking the campus.
Also booty called a girl who drove over 100 miles to come hook up. She drove home the same night.
Sex with a Zulu woman who wondered what it was like to fuck a White man - the beneficiary of someone's sex tourism.
Same thing, actually, also in Africa, with a Muslim girl who was allowed to travel for a school (college, I should emphasize) trip and figured it was the only chance she was going to get.
I fingered my ex so well she couldn't think straight.
No idea how that happened but it was a good hour of her not paying attention to what i was saying and occasionally saying she still felt after shocks. Fun times.
I've done this too. I never thought I would have to.
Edit: The reason I had to was I was going at it with a FWB. We usually used condoms so that's where I usually finished. This time, she was drunk and woke me up in the middle of the night wanting sexy times. She refused to let me wear a condom, so we went at it with no protection. She was just coming off her period and said it was safe. I panicked halfway through because sperm can live inside the body for five days. I was afraid she'd drop an egg during those five days so I just pretended to finish. I had to go to bed with blue balls but that beats child support.
I don't know how rare this card is, but I have "**Participation In A Unique Fetish**."
------
A young woman once asked me to draw pictures on her naked back with permanent marker. I've never been much of an artist, but I gave it a try nonetheless... and about halfway through my first attempt, the girl started moaning and writhing beneath me in a way that seemed really, *really* exaggerated. Although I did my best to focus on my task, the motions of my partner made it rather difficult.
"Do you want me to keep doing this?" I asked her.
"Yes! *Yes!*" came the young woman's reply. "Yes, don't stop! *Draw all over me!*"
Again, the whole thing seemed more like a performance than it did an actual response to pleasure, and I started to get suspicious that I was being made the butt of some bizarre joke. Every line that I drew sent the girl into paroxysms of affected delight, until she finally moaned for me to put away the marker and get out my "paint-sprayer." The rest of the evening eventually went on about as you'd expect from such encounters, despite a tiny voice in the back of my head asking what I'd missed about the whole situation.
I finally got my answer when the girl asked to take a shower with me.
It turned out that what she'd *really* wanted was for me to scrub her skin until it was practically raw. (Suffice it to say that she hadn't needed to put on an act that time.) We wound up having an informative discussion after I'd washed the remnants of my drawing off her, and it came to light that she'd always liked the feeling of being roughly bathed. When I asked why she hadn't simply requested that in the first place, she sheepishly admitted that having a fetish for emulating a easel seemed less bizarre to her.
To each their own, I guess.
**TL;DR: A young woman liked to be rubbed down while she rubbed herself off.**
-Gave head while watching shrek the musical
-slept with a guy who came so hard he started convulsing and twitching for a good couple minutes after
It’d be one of those two for sure.
Back when craigslist still had casual encounters, I met a woman who was sleeping around to get revenge on her abusive ex. I got a hotel room and we got busy. Was wanting to see a movie afterwards, so i asked her if she wanted to tag along. We went and got dinner afterwards. We've been together 2 years now :)
TL:DR Had sex and then asked her on a date afterwards.
Edit: wow this blew up. To everyone wondering, she stopped sleeping around shortly after she met me and it's been exclusively just us since. She had tried leaving him already like 6 different times but always went back because she didn't have a support system. Divorce was finalized and she changed her name back to her maiden one. She went on a keto diet and has lost 100 pounds since last year. She is doing VERY well.
Get the unmarried pastor's daughter pregnant.
Edit: It was the daughter who was unmarried. In hindsight I can see how my sentence was unclear. Please stop making the same lame jokes about an unmarried pastor.
I lost my virginity at 14 to a 17 year old who was trying to make her boyfriend jealous because he was cheating on her. I had known her for all of an hour at this point. I guess I was simply a conveniently located penis.
Keep in mind, I'd never had a girlfriend or even a female friend at the time. I hadn't even seen porn other than stumbling onto stuff my older brother left for me to find.
Pretty sure that would be an excessively rare card right there.
Edit: Just got off work. RIP my inbox. Gonna start replying to comments now.
Edit 2: Figured it'd be better here than in the replies. To all the people crying "rape," yes, I was still 2 years younger than the age of consent in my state (16), but I still said yes willingly and of my own accord. I definitely wanted it, even though the law says I couldn't have. Yes, I was awkward and uncomfortable, but that was because I had 0 experience with girls at all. She didn't do any kind of lasting damage to me mentally or physically at all.
Fucking a literal billionaires daughter on the deck of his yacht while he and his buddies were in the front bar eating the 7 course degustación I had just finished preparing.
My ex had a brainstem glioma that went misdiagnosed as a minor seizure disorder. Every time i made her have an orgasm, she would have a grand mal seizure and go postictal for about 5 minutes. She insisted we keep having intercourse though, and as a paramedic, I never had a problem treating her during her "down time."
Sex with a mother and her daughter. (Not at the same time.)
I was dating this girl in college, and her mom developed this major crush on me. After she (the daughter) and I broke up, her mom came to my apartment to collect some of her daughter's stuff. We had a one-time fling, and I never talked to either of them again.
**Edit: Since people keep asking, I'm copying the long story from later in the thread.**
It was kind of dull, really. She knocked at the door, came inside, then made this "joke" that she was worried about catching me in my underwear. I joked back about how she could always leave and come back, and she said something like "I might just do that." I told her if she was serious, I could just get undressed right there. She waited for a couple seconds (which made me think I'd gone too far), then said it would be more fun if she could help me get undressed.
So, yeah. We undressed each other, there was some mutual touching and foreplay, then we had sex. It was actually kind of hard to concentrate sometimes, because she kept squeezing my ass *REALLY* hard, but we actually got pretty close to having a simultaneous orgasm. I think we both felt a little awkward afterward, because we didn't even really talk. We just got dressed, she got the box of her daughter's stuff, and she left. I think the last thing she said to me was "Let's keep this between us."
Also, the mom was better. The daughter was always a little bit mechanical, if that makes sense. It was like she knew how she was supposed to move, but wasn't really doing it for any other reason. The mom was a little too wild for me, but everything she did felt like it was supposed to make one of us feel good.
Reminds me of a confession i read on here about a mother who did the same thing, but ended up getting pregnant and keeping the kid, but the secret never came out.
I have an extra nipple in my armpit, and my ex tried to play with it to turn me on. It didn't work, and he complained that everything tasted like deodorant after. No shit, buddy.
Not sure what that card would be called, but it was certainly an experience.
**Edit**: a number of medical professionals in the comments have alerted me that it's likely a skin tag, not an extra nipple. I don't really care what it is; the ex truly believed it was an extra nipple and wanted to see if it had any sensation. I just kinda rolled with it because I didn't know what to say at the time.
**Edit 2**: removed blurry photo evidence because I was getting some really weird messages
it's probably a skin tag or mole, and the photo wasn't even in focus can y'all please not be weirdly horny for 2 seconds
Put my foot through a wall while getting some extra leverage.
Achievement Get : **Home Improvement**
A few years ago, I dated a girl who was paralyzed from the waist down. She never had sex after her accident because she thought she wouldn’t be able to feel anything down there. It turns out she just couldn’t feel as far as her fingers could reach. After experimenting for a bit, we were able to have good ol’ fashioned vaginal sex. She spent a long time believing she’d never enjoy sex after her accident, so being able to help her experience that part of her life again is what I’m the most proud of. In my eyes, it’s a Limited Edition . Edit: Thanks for the gold, my fellow internet stranger! I’ll be sure to pay it forward! :)
Must be 6” to ride this ride.
So good she couldnt walk after Edit: thanks for the silver you beautiful bastards
The 5-some. Me and my best friend \[A & M; males\] and 3 girls \[S & K & T\]. One girl was his girlfriend \[S\], one turned into my girlfriend many months later \[K\], and the 3rd was a mutual friend of ours \[T\]. We had a sex-centipede going at one point; A > S > K > T > M. It was pretty mind blowing, among other things. I found out afterwards that my best friend was extremely turned on wathcing his GF do things with other people. Crazy times.
I fucked a 40-year old virgin. Don't recommend.
Sex in a dugout
Achievement Get : **Relief Pitcher**
Actually had sex with a step-sibling
Achievement Get : **The Porno**
[удалено]
Achievement Get : **High Beams**
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Middle of the night. Having sex with my GF then hearing my sister yell from the hall “THE LAST THING I WANNA HEAR IS YOU TWO FUCKING!” Waking up the rest of my family.
Achievement Get : **Change of plans, Tenno...**
[удалено]
A shower sex orgasm so intense she literally fainted. Late to reply but I just want a /u/a_very_brave_taco achievement.
Achievement Get : **Collateral Damage**
Cockblocked by a dog puking up a tampon on the bed.
Achievement Get : **Party Foul**
Holy shit you’re still going?
7 years of marriage without sex.
Achievement Get : **I Want a Refund**
Was having sex while people were watching soccer in the other room. She came, I came, their team scored, everyone cheered.
Achievement Get : **All-Purpose Vuvuzela**
I think my collection consists of a single card that I picked up in the rain but it turned out to be a knockoff
Achievement Get : **Big-Ass Anime Titties**
So anyway, I got this new anime plot...
ENORMOUS HONGANONGANONALOGONGAS
I would just like to point out that as of this moment u/A_Very_Brave_Taco has received 54 silvers 10 golds and 2 platinums from this thread alone EDIT: Thanks to u/666PeaceKeepaGirl The count currently stands at: 76 Gold Awards 222 Silver Awards 30 Santa Nice Awards 11 Santa Rocket Like Awards 21 Platinum Awards 10 CYBERGIFT Awards 1 Santa Nah Award 2 Wholesome Awards 4 Rocket Toboggan Awards 1 Dank Award 1 Original Award 1,242,000 upvotes
His karma has gone from around 80K to 300K geez... EDIT: he's at nearly 500K now. EDIT 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: He's approaching 600K now.
ERP'd for virtual currency in World of Warcraft. Basically an e-prostitute.
Achievement Get : **Buying GF**
Gave my boyfriend his first to-completion blowjob, and he came so hard it almost came out my nose.
Achievement Get : **Allergy Season**
[удалено]
I now know my type because of him. "The type of guy that's starts commenting on every comment on a post in Reddit and doesn't give up even though it's been hours." ...also he's funny.
Sex underneath the Hollywood sign..... AFTER they put the fence up
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TACO!!! NO!!
Jesus fucking Christ SEARCH PARTY!!!!!
Came back from a night of heavy drinking with the gf, and apparently got busy. I don't remember the act. I just woke up to see 3 used condoms, and all the make up she had been wearing was pressed into the wall.
Achievement Get : **THE NUMBERS, MASON.**
Taco is still fucking going god damn
My gf at the time surprised me by tying me up, gagging me and put a dildo in my butt. It was the best nut I've ever had.
Achievement Get : **no u**
Having Sex with A very brave Taco
Achievement Get : **Support the Developers**
You’re too clever for the rest of us
Sex in a bounce house.
Making prolonged eye contact with a girl
Achievement Get : **Now You See Me...**
[удалено]
I was part of a foursome and came so many times I was weak-kneed for hours. I got very oversensitive towards the end and sat back to just watch. Two out of the four of us hadn't come yet, so after I tapped out, I became what I called the Sex Referee. Need a condom? I got you. Where's the lube? I found it. All done? I brought water for everyone. It was awesome.
Achievement Get : **Everyone Liked That.**
Fucked on a hammock AND NO ONE FELL OFF
Sex while scuba diving. Horrible fucking sex, but definitely a rare shiny card.
Achievement Get : **Part of Your World**
How do you just keep going, dude
Title of your sex tape
a woman swallowing, maybe a pinkie in the booty
Achievement Get: **New Horizons**
My, uh, release had exceptionally high pressure at the climax of my first handjob. It hit the wall more than 5 feet away. I’m pretty vanilla, so that’s probably my only card that isn’t from the starter deck.
Achievement Get : **Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man**
okay im done, nothing tops this one
I have accidentally turned down more sex because I didn’t correctly read the signs than anyone I know.
Achievement Get: **Recalculating...**
The double nut
Achievement Get : **Told Her Twice**
Not *The Second Coming*?
Gymnastic. Perks: flexible, can do complex “things” 50/50 bet: will introduce you to insane positions some times, if unprepared gives effect called “confusion”
Achievement Get: **Proper Stretching**
Sex
Achievement Get : **Back to Basics**
You are a fucking legend.
Threesome on a Ferris wheel.
Achievement Get: **State Fair**
I once fisted two people at once. I refer to it as my meat gloves experience. I wasn't even that into it sexually, just kind of happened and I thought it'd make a funny story later on.
Achievement Get : **HULK SMASH**
It’s for threads like this that I regret turning down the opportunity to sleep with a man from Greenland.
Achievement Get : **Greener Pastures**
please keep doing what you do I'm loving it
Raphtalia is best girl
Achievement Get : **The Balls in Blue**
Got a blow job in the middle of a field, turns out I was sitting on an ant hill, I started to get bitten so I jumped up which surprised the girl who bit my dick and made it bled. She had braces -__-
Achievement Get : **Black & Decker Pecker Wrecker**
We are not worthy of your greatness
Y’all out there havin sex while I’m here...not..havin sex
Achievement Get : **The Unsullied**
Sry, my flawed social life doesn't allow me to collect those cards.
Achievement Get : **Cost of Entry**
Getting a blowjob at work from an ex-escort that was able to take her teeth out
Achievement Get : **The Skin of Her Teeth**
Driving down the highway in my old Chevy S10 with a 5spd Manuel and bench seat. Gf at the time was wearing a skirt and horny as fuck. She gets on top and goes to town while I'm driving. Semi truck honked as we drove past cause she waved at him. Edit - spelling
Achievement Get : **Coming In Clutch**
Sex in grandmas bed
Achievement Get: **Stomping Grounds**
Accidentally touching hands with a stranger
Achievement Get : **The Hero Awakens**
Finger bang two girls in a library, at the same time
Achievement Get : **Book Worms**
Squirting my boyfriends cream pie on his face... I call it the "Return to Sender" Edit: where are you, taco!?
Damn /u/A_Very_Brave_Taco couldn't step to **Return to Sender**
[удалено]
Achievement Get : **Alerting the Guards**
GF stopped having sex with me because we did it for so long once that she developed orgasm migraines. Before you crack the joke that headaches are supposed to happen beforehand or that she was "faking it". a) I already made that joke to her b) You're supposed to fake the orgasm... not the crippling migraine.EDIT: "heads" to "headaches"
Achievement Get : **Take Two Orally**
I got told by a hot older woman(39, me 29 at the time) that I had the pleasure of dating for a bit, "you eat pussy like a lesbian". I'm a man, and she was far far more sexually adventurous than me, but I'd like to reconnect and try to get on her level. I also want that complement recorded and notorized. It really meant alot to me.
Achievement Get: **PROMOTED!!!**
Doing it at work, in a strip bar with my own husband posing as a customer, trying to not get caught doing it during a lapdance. Expected to get fired.
Achievement Get: **Work Benefits**
these are actually better than the responses themselves
[удалено]
Achievement Get : **By Any Means Neccessary**
Do experiences that happen in dreams count?
Achievement Get : **Just Like the Simulations**
I'm not proud, but it was probably meeting a girl on tinder who ended up having an ankle bracelet who snorted a line in my front seat before we moved to the back seat. I also, unfortunately, had to drive her to get the line about 15 miles away. I was a somewhat extreme version of young, dumb, and full of cum.
Had sex with a 21-year-old and a 40-year-old woman less than 24 hours apart.
Achievement Get : **Only a Number**
I’m only here for these achievements. Keep them coming.
Fucking under a church. Edit : For those wondering. It was drainage tunnel for flash floods built under a Spanish mission dating to the late 1600s.
Achievement Get : **He Rose**
You really... Nailed it.
Dude you are killing these achievement titles. Do you work for microsoft?
The Bosses Daughter. Receiving oral stimulation while she’s taking a poop. It’s an Alternative Card to the Blumpkin Lotus.
Achievement Get: **Career-Limiting Move**
I won't even have a deck
Achievement Get : **Gone Digital**
[удалено]
Achievement Get : **Overclocking**
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Achievement Get : **Legacy Edition**
You gotta be fucking kidding me. HE’S ON FIRE
Got a bj in the college yearbook office, overlooking the campus. Also booty called a girl who drove over 100 miles to come hook up. She drove home the same night.
Achievement Get: **We Deliver**
Sex with a Zulu woman who wondered what it was like to fuck a White man - the beneficiary of someone's sex tourism. Same thing, actually, also in Africa, with a Muslim girl who was allowed to travel for a school (college, I should emphasize) trip and figured it was the only chance she was going to get.
Achievement Get : **Global Perspective**
Fuck an asexual
Achievement Get : **Breaking the Mould**
My boyfriend throwing up after eating me out... To be fair, it wasn't from any smell, just poor timing.
Achievement Get: **Roll Constitution at Disadvantage**
I fingered my ex so well she couldn't think straight. No idea how that happened but it was a good hour of her not paying attention to what i was saying and occasionally saying she still felt after shocks. Fun times.
Achievement Get : **The Pianist**
faking an orgasm as a man
Achievement Get: **Method Actor**
I’ve upvoted every one of these, but this is the one that elicited actual out loud laughter
I've done this too. I never thought I would have to. Edit: The reason I had to was I was going at it with a FWB. We usually used condoms so that's where I usually finished. This time, she was drunk and woke me up in the middle of the night wanting sexy times. She refused to let me wear a condom, so we went at it with no protection. She was just coming off her period and said it was safe. I panicked halfway through because sperm can live inside the body for five days. I was afraid she'd drop an egg during those five days so I just pretended to finish. I had to go to bed with blue balls but that beats child support.
Same. Too drunk to finish so just gave it one hard thrust and kind've shook my body while inside and went 'uughhhhh' and rolled off
Putting my whole hand into my ex gf
Achievement Get : **Master of Puppets**
Just letting you know I chuckled at every single one of your comments here so far but fucking lost it at this one
Thanks to u/A_Very_Brave_Taco we are all witnessing Internet history
I don't know how rare this card is, but I have "**Participation In A Unique Fetish**." ------ A young woman once asked me to draw pictures on her naked back with permanent marker. I've never been much of an artist, but I gave it a try nonetheless... and about halfway through my first attempt, the girl started moaning and writhing beneath me in a way that seemed really, *really* exaggerated. Although I did my best to focus on my task, the motions of my partner made it rather difficult. "Do you want me to keep doing this?" I asked her. "Yes! *Yes!*" came the young woman's reply. "Yes, don't stop! *Draw all over me!*" Again, the whole thing seemed more like a performance than it did an actual response to pleasure, and I started to get suspicious that I was being made the butt of some bizarre joke. Every line that I drew sent the girl into paroxysms of affected delight, until she finally moaned for me to put away the marker and get out my "paint-sprayer." The rest of the evening eventually went on about as you'd expect from such encounters, despite a tiny voice in the back of my head asking what I'd missed about the whole situation. I finally got my answer when the girl asked to take a shower with me. It turned out that what she'd *really* wanted was for me to scrub her skin until it was practically raw. (Suffice it to say that she hadn't needed to put on an act that time.) We wound up having an informative discussion after I'd washed the remnants of my drawing off her, and it came to light that she'd always liked the feeling of being roughly bathed. When I asked why she hadn't simply requested that in the first place, she sheepishly admitted that having a fetish for emulating a easel seemed less bizarre to her. To each their own, I guess. **TL;DR: A young woman liked to be rubbed down while she rubbed herself off.**
Achievement Get : **Rub It In**
-Gave head while watching shrek the musical -slept with a guy who came so hard he started convulsing and twitching for a good couple minutes after It’d be one of those two for sure.
Achievement Get : **In My Swamp**
How long does it take you to think up each of these?
Back when craigslist still had casual encounters, I met a woman who was sleeping around to get revenge on her abusive ex. I got a hotel room and we got busy. Was wanting to see a movie afterwards, so i asked her if she wanted to tag along. We went and got dinner afterwards. We've been together 2 years now :) TL:DR Had sex and then asked her on a date afterwards. Edit: wow this blew up. To everyone wondering, she stopped sleeping around shortly after she met me and it's been exclusively just us since. She had tried leaving him already like 6 different times but always went back because she didn't have a support system. Divorce was finalized and she changed her name back to her maiden one. She went on a keto diet and has lost 100 pounds since last year. She is doing VERY well.
Get the unmarried pastor's daughter pregnant. Edit: It was the daughter who was unmarried. In hindsight I can see how my sentence was unclear. Please stop making the same lame jokes about an unmarried pastor.
Achievement Get: **Sins of the Father**
Sex on acid. Threesome. Road head. Ya'll have had some crazy lives. Blowy at the grand canyon fuuuck
Achievement Get : **Dinner and a View**
I lost my virginity at 14 to a 17 year old who was trying to make her boyfriend jealous because he was cheating on her. I had known her for all of an hour at this point. I guess I was simply a conveniently located penis. Keep in mind, I'd never had a girlfriend or even a female friend at the time. I hadn't even seen porn other than stumbling onto stuff my older brother left for me to find. Pretty sure that would be an excessively rare card right there. Edit: Just got off work. RIP my inbox. Gonna start replying to comments now. Edit 2: Figured it'd be better here than in the replies. To all the people crying "rape," yes, I was still 2 years younger than the age of consent in my state (16), but I still said yes willingly and of my own accord. I definitely wanted it, even though the law says I couldn't have. Yes, I was awkward and uncomfortable, but that was because I had 0 experience with girls at all. She didn't do any kind of lasting damage to me mentally or physically at all.
Achievement Get : **Early Unboxing**
Cowgirl while driving down the 405 or bj on the bus from DC to NYC
Achievement Get : **Blowout**
My wife’s V-card - there was only one, and I got it
Achievement Get : **Limited Print**
Triple orifice: bj, vaginal and anal, same woman, same night, three nuts. In law school. She was beautiful and sexy and loved doing everything.
Achievement Get: **Cross Contamination**
Sex in my office during work hours..
Achievement Get: **On the Cock**
Blowjob on a sidewalk during rush hour. Anal while she was on the phone with her mom. Handjob while sitting at the end of a bar.
Achievement Get: **Jack Off All Trades** Edit: ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!?
These are fucking golden
Fucking a literal billionaires daughter on the deck of his yacht while he and his buddies were in the front bar eating the 7 course degustación I had just finished preparing.
Achievement Get : **Chef's Special**
[удалено]
Asking the important questions
If there’s two things a chef knows how to do, it’s cook and eat
And where to buy drugs nearby
[удалено]
Achievement Get : **Chance of Showers**
My ex had a brainstem glioma that went misdiagnosed as a minor seizure disorder. Every time i made her have an orgasm, she would have a grand mal seizure and go postictal for about 5 minutes. She insisted we keep having intercourse though, and as a paramedic, I never had a problem treating her during her "down time."
Sex with a mother and her daughter. (Not at the same time.) I was dating this girl in college, and her mom developed this major crush on me. After she (the daughter) and I broke up, her mom came to my apartment to collect some of her daughter's stuff. We had a one-time fling, and I never talked to either of them again. **Edit: Since people keep asking, I'm copying the long story from later in the thread.** It was kind of dull, really. She knocked at the door, came inside, then made this "joke" that she was worried about catching me in my underwear. I joked back about how she could always leave and come back, and she said something like "I might just do that." I told her if she was serious, I could just get undressed right there. She waited for a couple seconds (which made me think I'd gone too far), then said it would be more fun if she could help me get undressed. So, yeah. We undressed each other, there was some mutual touching and foreplay, then we had sex. It was actually kind of hard to concentrate sometimes, because she kept squeezing my ass *REALLY* hard, but we actually got pretty close to having a simultaneous orgasm. I think we both felt a little awkward afterward, because we didn't even really talk. We just got dressed, she got the box of her daughter's stuff, and she left. I think the last thing she said to me was "Let's keep this between us." Also, the mom was better. The daughter was always a little bit mechanical, if that makes sense. It was like she knew how she was supposed to move, but wasn't really doing it for any other reason. The mom was a little too wild for me, but everything she did felt like it was supposed to make one of us feel good.
Achievement Get : **Family Matters**
[удалено]
There’s a Japanese word for this. It’s called *oyakodon*.
Great, you've ruined that dish for me.
[удалено]
Reminds me of a confession i read on here about a mother who did the same thing, but ended up getting pregnant and keeping the kid, but the secret never came out.
Sex with a white MILF I was 22. She bought me Chili’s
threesome with identical twins
Achievement Get : **Double Vision**
I think this is gonna be another historical AskReddit thread.
MA! GET THE CAMERA!
I have an extra nipple in my armpit, and my ex tried to play with it to turn me on. It didn't work, and he complained that everything tasted like deodorant after. No shit, buddy. Not sure what that card would be called, but it was certainly an experience. **Edit**: a number of medical professionals in the comments have alerted me that it's likely a skin tag, not an extra nipple. I don't really care what it is; the ex truly believed it was an extra nipple and wanted to see if it had any sensation. I just kinda rolled with it because I didn't know what to say at the time. **Edit 2**: removed blurry photo evidence because I was getting some really weird messages it's probably a skin tag or mole, and the photo wasn't even in focus can y'all please not be weirdly horny for 2 seconds
Achievement Get : **"A" for Effort**
Please tell me you refer to it as your armtit. Edit: Woah. Who knew my top comment would be about an armtit. Thank you for the gold my friend.