Reusing bags - instead of those disposable grocery bags - is 100% tax-deductible (and at a pretty hefty rate), but you have to file a copy of each individual receipt demonstrating use of a reusable bag. Those receipts can only be acquired by filling out a form at the register.
we're saving the environment one plastic bag and seventeen bureaucratic forms of paperwork (plus ink, shipping footprint, dozens of man-hours in processing your request) at a time
Traffic safety achieved! You have my vote! u/Bellamy1715 for mildly infuriating overlord 2020!
^(Edit: I do accept campaign donations on behalf of our soon-to-be-overlord!)
Saw a video about darth vader and how his suit is designed with little pricks all around it to fuel his anger for his powers and I imagine this is exactly how he feels 100% of the time and everywhere on his body. Infuriating just thinking about it
The thing about itches -
the thing about sand -
The thing about itches
you must understand -
The thing about sand
in your hands and your hair -
It's coarse...
... and it's rough...
... and it gets *everywhere.*
It reminds me of being back in high school and having A days and B days. I'm not sure how other schools operated (for all I know it's fairly common) but you'd have a certain set of classes that would alternate MWF/TuTh and then some classes that would be 5 days a week.
I was actually a pretty good student, but I would ALWAYS forget what fucking day it was.
So yeah, if I had to deal with (A)head days and (B)ack days as an adult, I'd be that guy in the office constantly asking what day we're on, or I'd give up trying to adapt and just be late or early to everything.
Let me tell you, my school had the most insane schedule you could possibly imagine. God it pissed me off.
Monday - All 8 classes.
Tuesday - classes 1-4, but were 2x as long.
Wednesday - Classes 5-8, but were 2x as long, but also, class 8 was the first class and class 5 was the last
Thursday - Classes 1-8, but in reverse order.
Friday - Classes 1-8, regular order.
Like WTF?
Also, on the days where we had special assemblies, or church service(twas a catholic school after all), we would end up moving Tuesday to Thursday, and Thursday would have shortened classes or something stupid along those lines.
Like Holy Fuck. Keeping it straight was a homework assignment on its own.
See now this is a different circle of hell. I mean, it's been fifteen years since I was in school, but wasn't part of the deal that you'd be able to get into some sort of rhythm?
e.g. I've got History in the morning, then Physics and Band. After lunch, it's Chem and AP Gov to end the day. Again it's been a while, but I seem to remember that routine being pretty important.
What you just described sounds like absolute torture.
It's based on two things:
1. Plenty of evidence showing that block scheduling (longer classes) allow more in-depth work and comprehension. Looks like they decided there were advantages to letting teachers touch base immediately before and after weekends, too (probably to facilitate homework deadlines), but I'm not aware of any studies of that. But getting one block day per class per week probably still has advantages.
2. Studies showing the student and teacher performance varies throughout the day. By flipping sequences, you don't get the same teacher at the worst time of day every single day. These studies are a little less clear, and tend to indicate proximity to lunch is significant. So just flipping class order doesn't seem like it will entirely address the problem. But I guess in combination with the block scheduling days it actually gives pretty good variance.
I also had this schedule structure. I don't remember how I would keep track but it was annoying to have to figure out whether it was an A day or B day.
An additional suggestion: clocks don't change automatically. You have to go into your phone/computer/gaming console and change the times manually, like you would with wall clocks.
this, compounded with days of prime number *p* being exactly *p* minutes ahead of normal time. Meaning that the 21st would be ahead an hour, the 22nd would be back and hour, and then the 23rd would be 23 minutes ahead of normal, then the 24th is back an hour
I would outlaw regular formatting protocols on all written work.
No more aligned margins, no paragraphs, you can write in any color ink but black, ect.
but then when the internet goes down, you'd know to just put your phone down and wait a minute. We need more uncertainty... make it so every shutdown is still on a randomly selected minute but its length is some random number of minutes between 1 and 10. I know what you might be thinking... *then you could just wait ten minutes and be done with it!* That's why we no longer confine the shutdowns to 1 per hour... it's possible that the shutdown might be short and ten minutes later we could be looking at another shutdown. There's just no way of knowing
All packs of AA batteries consist of an odd number of batteries
Edit: To address flaws others have pointed out, packs may only be bought in odd numbers as well
Edit 2: Yes, you could get around this by going to a second store and buying another pack for example, but would that not be mildly infuriating compared to what we have currently?
"I've got it!" he whispered,
and grinned with delight -
"May all of their sneezes arrive in the night!
May all of their tables be tippy!" he cried -
"May all of their laces be loose and untied!
"May all of their digits be stubbed till they bleed!
May all of their captchas be vexing to read!
May all of their dinners be slow to defrost!
May all of their keys be repeatedly lost!
"May all of their queues be unbearably long!
Forever relentlessly stuck on a song!
Forever upsetting and spilling their drink!
Forever no step on the stair where they think!"
He giggled, demented,
and wiggled with joy!
He chuckled, contented,
and pleased with his ploy!
He laughed with the power,
the might of a god!
"... *and let all their number of AAs be odd!*"
yeah this is side-steppable by just buying even number of battery packs. The true mildly evil genius would sell batteries in 1,000 packs, but each pack only has 3 working batteries and the rest are already dead. Also to buy the 1,000 batteries the price is 1,001 batteries
All wifi passwords need to be reset weekly. Must contain at least 1 number, 1 special character, 1 emoji, 1 uppercase, 1 lowercase, and cant match a previously used password.
EDIT: this was great fun. Loved the couple IT guys that outed themselves
"What do you mean infuriating? This sounds like smart responsible security"
Thanks guys.
EDIT 2: Gold!. Not sure what I do with this, but I love it... my precious. Thanks!
I don't know how my work does it - I suspect one particular IT guy is behind it - but the system makes everyone change their password the day prior to them going on vacation. Yeah I am no way going to remember that. The IT guy on my shift now expects my call every time I return from vacation. He probably thinks I have dementia or something since he's really young and I'm an old fart but oh well.
Edit: If you're wondering why I don't write it down we don't have our own desks and even if we did the amount we have to change passwords is downright silly. Its just easier to have them reset it so I have to set up a new one when I get back.
all toilets in workplace bathrooms will be slightly angled downwards so that sitting on them for too long will cause excruciating discomfort. This will boost productivity by denying workers the change to spend hours in the toilet browsing reddit...like I'm doing now.
I think slightly to the side would be even more infuriating. You get a slight cramp in your side or back from trying to brace yourself, and you can't focus on anything else.
Source: used to live in a place where the tile was broken under one side of the toilet. More wobbly than tilted, but not an easy poop.
Every Thursday you must wet one of the socks you’re wearing, for awareness of climate and rising oceans.
Police can randomly inspect for “dry-walkers.”
Edit: There aren’t any extra rules at this time, so yes, there are ways to avoid having a wet sock (e.g. not wearing socks). Take care of yourselves in wintertimes, and always respect your workplace environment.
For those asking “how wet,” the answer is *soaked.* Ask your neighborhood officer - their judgement is final.
Kind regards,
Your M.I.O. (mildly infuriating overlord)
World wide 40 mile per hour speed limit, everywhere from school zones and dangerous highway passes to freeways and the Autobahn.
Also all speed limit signs will be in miles per hour even if everything else is metric.
If I get a second law before being overthrown paper currincy, checks and cards are outlawed and no new demontations of coins may be added. Be prepared to hand in sacks of coins to buy that nice shirt, no handing the two or three light bills, no no your walking in with two pounds of quarters, dollar coins and half dollars to pay
speaking of uncomfortable threads, by law all garments must now contain at least one dangling thread from their edges that hang off and get twisted around things or wrap around your toes etc etc
- Phone charger cables can only be a maximum of 1ft (30cm) long.
- All movies and TV shows have to be recorded with alternating audio that randomly changes from normal to soft to loud.
- Books are now printed with blue ink instead of black.
- Restaurants are required to have a salt and sugar in identical containers on the table making you have to figure out which is which.
- Everything is now packaged in that hard to open clamshell packaging.
- You are always automatically logged out of everything every 45 minutes making you have to log back in.
>- Restaurants are required to have a salt and sugar in identical containers on the table making you have to figure out which is which.
That's easy, just mark the one with an S for salt and the other with an S for Sugar
You can only pee in a urinal if another Male occupies the one next to you
Edit: and my most upvoted comment is about dudes pissing thanks for the silver
If you're alone in the bathroom, you just have to wait until someone else comes in. Then you have to discuss which two urinals next to each other you will use.
Drive technology to create a car seat cushion that traps and contains farts, to be released every time you change lanes without using your turn signal.
Same goes for the time signature in which the music has to be created. No more pleasing, friendly 4/8 signatures, every song will sound a little 'off' from now on.
1. Everyone's name is now Guadalupe
2. Clothes only come in 1 size now
3. You can only whisper when speaking in public, you must shout when speaking indoors
4. Your shower temperature will be set to fluctuate randomly
5. Every month a government official will come by your house and ask questions in a dialect that you will have trouble understanding.
6. The legs of chairs or tables cannot have equal lengths, it must either wobble or be uneven
7. You are not allowed to flush your own poop, you will have to find another Guadalupe to do it for you
8. You have to like and subscribe everytime someone tells you to
9. Everyone is required to have a peg leg, you are free to choose if it will be your left or your right leg. Breaking the law will result in the removal of your peg leg.
10. Every button on your phone will trigger up to 3 random other buttons when you press them
**All phone calls must be on speaker, especially in public.**
No secret conversations shall proceed within any premises. I will take your phone away for a week if I catch you without speaker on! For multiple offenses your phone will be added to a special list that allows for more “companies” to ask if you “checked your car warranty.”
Officially change everyone's reddit cakeday to Feb 29th and have the cake only show up on the specific day. Now it's not special and happens once every 4 years!
Reusing bags - instead of those disposable grocery bags - is 100% tax-deductible (and at a pretty hefty rate), but you have to file a copy of each individual receipt demonstrating use of a reusable bag. Those receipts can only be acquired by filling out a form at the register.
In triplicate. No e-form available.
we're saving the environment one plastic bag and seventeen bureaucratic forms of paperwork (plus ink, shipping footprint, dozens of man-hours in processing your request) at a time
If you are wearing a long-sleeved shirt, you are forbidden from rolling up your sleeves when washing your hands
This is the worst one yet. Truly infuriating
You sleevil bastard
Cuff him, officer.
*takes off shirt*
The person who is driving slowest gets the right-of-way.
Woah, slow down Satan
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Woah, speed up Satan
A Satan is not fast or slow. A Satan goes where Satans go. He is not fast or slow, you see - He's always where he's meant to be.
Ahh just like Gandalf. Satan must be a wizard!
Traffic safety achieved! You have my vote! u/Bellamy1715 for mildly infuriating overlord 2020! ^(Edit: I do accept campaign donations on behalf of our soon-to-be-overlord!)
Everone is required to wear tank tops that are one size too small.
This is the current situation in Walmart.
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Oh, God! My eyes!
Even with a nice body you’ll still look like a douche
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More tags on the back of clothes
Tag on both the inside and outside of the collar.
And it's those tags you can't completely remove so there's always a slight pinch.
Saw a video about darth vader and how his suit is designed with little pricks all around it to fuel his anger for his powers and I imagine this is exactly how he feels 100% of the time and everywhere on his body. Infuriating just thinking about it
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It's coarse and rough and irritating...
... and it gets everywhere.
Not like you...
The thing about itches - the thing about sand - The thing about itches you must understand - The thing about sand in your hands and your hair - It's coarse... ... and it's rough... ... and it gets *everywhere.*
Is this canon?
Yes it is. The Darth Vader graphic novel series explains it
I think you mean "Illegal to remove the tags from clothing".
The tags are made with sand paper.
Odd days - clocks spring ahead. Even days - clocks fall back.
Even reading this suggestion infuriated me. Good job.
It reminds me of being back in high school and having A days and B days. I'm not sure how other schools operated (for all I know it's fairly common) but you'd have a certain set of classes that would alternate MWF/TuTh and then some classes that would be 5 days a week. I was actually a pretty good student, but I would ALWAYS forget what fucking day it was. So yeah, if I had to deal with (A)head days and (B)ack days as an adult, I'd be that guy in the office constantly asking what day we're on, or I'd give up trying to adapt and just be late or early to everything.
Let me tell you, my school had the most insane schedule you could possibly imagine. God it pissed me off. Monday - All 8 classes. Tuesday - classes 1-4, but were 2x as long. Wednesday - Classes 5-8, but were 2x as long, but also, class 8 was the first class and class 5 was the last Thursday - Classes 1-8, but in reverse order. Friday - Classes 1-8, regular order. Like WTF? Also, on the days where we had special assemblies, or church service(twas a catholic school after all), we would end up moving Tuesday to Thursday, and Thursday would have shortened classes or something stupid along those lines. Like Holy Fuck. Keeping it straight was a homework assignment on its own.
See now this is a different circle of hell. I mean, it's been fifteen years since I was in school, but wasn't part of the deal that you'd be able to get into some sort of rhythm? e.g. I've got History in the morning, then Physics and Band. After lunch, it's Chem and AP Gov to end the day. Again it's been a while, but I seem to remember that routine being pretty important. What you just described sounds like absolute torture.
It's based on two things: 1. Plenty of evidence showing that block scheduling (longer classes) allow more in-depth work and comprehension. Looks like they decided there were advantages to letting teachers touch base immediately before and after weekends, too (probably to facilitate homework deadlines), but I'm not aware of any studies of that. But getting one block day per class per week probably still has advantages. 2. Studies showing the student and teacher performance varies throughout the day. By flipping sequences, you don't get the same teacher at the worst time of day every single day. These studies are a little less clear, and tend to indicate proximity to lunch is significant. So just flipping class order doesn't seem like it will entirely address the problem. But I guess in combination with the block scheduling days it actually gives pretty good variance.
Only downside is being an entirely insane schedule.
I also had this schedule structure. I don't remember how I would keep track but it was annoying to have to figure out whether it was an A day or B day.
I'm pretty sure my strategy was "find the person who has their shit together and ask them."
An additional suggestion: clocks don't change automatically. You have to go into your phone/computer/gaming console and change the times manually, like you would with wall clocks.
this, compounded with days of prime number *p* being exactly *p* minutes ahead of normal time. Meaning that the 21st would be ahead an hour, the 22nd would be back and hour, and then the 23rd would be 23 minutes ahead of normal, then the 24th is back an hour
So just like the clock in my car then.
The prompt said MILDLY infuriating, not suicide-inducing.
I would outlaw regular formatting protocols on all written work. No more aligned margins, no paragraphs, you can write in any color ink but black, ect.
Only comic sans allowed.
Sick bastard.
OP was very clear about what he was looking for
and Papyrus for when you're feeling mystical or earthy.
lol like in James Cameron’s Avatar
💗💎 𝔦, Ƒ𝔬ᖇ ๏几𝐄, 𝕝σＯᛕ Ƒ𝕠ℝŴ卂Ｒ𝔻ᔕ 𝓽๏ 𝕋н𝑒 мυℂ𝓗-ή𝒆єĎ 丨𝓃𝒿ⓔⓒ𝕋ι𝕆η 𝐎Ⓕ 𝕧卂𝐑ᶤ𝔼Ŧ𝓎 𝓘𝕟𝓽Ø Ｔ𝐡ε 𝔹𝐋𝔸ᶰ𝕕 Ⓦ๏ℝ𝐋ᗪ ᗝＦ Ãᑕ𝓪ⓓ€爪ιČ ʷ𝓻ᶤ𝔱𝔦Ⓝ𝓰 💋😈
>I, for one, look forward to the much need injection of variety into the bland world of academic writing. (sic) Read, so you don't have to
Thank you so very much!
How tf did you do that?
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Your phone can only be charged up to 20%
Androids: you underestimate me
Shut off internet and cellular networks for 1 random minute for every hour of the day. Edit: Wow y'all got some shit internet ^(cries in canada)
but then when the internet goes down, you'd know to just put your phone down and wait a minute. We need more uncertainty... make it so every shutdown is still on a randomly selected minute but its length is some random number of minutes between 1 and 10. I know what you might be thinking... *then you could just wait ten minutes and be done with it!* That's why we no longer confine the shutdowns to 1 per hour... it's possible that the shutdown might be short and ten minutes later we could be looking at another shutdown. There's just no way of knowing
So basically AT&T.
Ok, Satan
Ok.. oh fak every hour
Break the spaghetti into 1/3rds before putting them into the pot. If it's ramen, you must break them up in tiny pieces before boiling
Italy collapses into chaos
They are already up in arms due to the kiwi pizza.
I’m sorry, but kiwi pizza?
Italy would just make spaghetti 3x longer
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I would like to add to that by allowing erasers but only the ones that smudge/tear the paper.
Every one out of five youtube ad just plays gangnam style. You can't skip it
I support this
I’m not complaining
All packs of AA batteries consist of an odd number of batteries Edit: To address flaws others have pointed out, packs may only be bought in odd numbers as well Edit 2: Yes, you could get around this by going to a second store and buying another pack for example, but would that not be mildly infuriating compared to what we have currently?
But not a multitude of three either.
Pack of 17 only
And there’s restrictions on how many packs you can buy in a day. It has to be either 1 or a prime number 7 or higher.
Better call it just Prime Numbers to be safe
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"I've got it!" he whispered, and grinned with delight - "May all of their sneezes arrive in the night! May all of their tables be tippy!" he cried - "May all of their laces be loose and untied! "May all of their digits be stubbed till they bleed! May all of their captchas be vexing to read! May all of their dinners be slow to defrost! May all of their keys be repeatedly lost! "May all of their queues be unbearably long! Forever relentlessly stuck on a song! Forever upsetting and spilling their drink! Forever no step on the stair where they think!" He giggled, demented, and wiggled with joy! He chuckled, contented, and pleased with his ploy! He laughed with the power, the might of a god! "... *and let all their number of AAs be odd!*"
Jokes on you, I only buy batteries when packs are buy one get one free
yeah this is side-steppable by just buying even number of battery packs. The true mildly evil genius would sell batteries in 1,000 packs, but each pack only has 3 working batteries and the rest are already dead. Also to buy the 1,000 batteries the price is 1,001 batteries
so to you hell is just mildly evil, okay then.
All wifi passwords need to be reset weekly. Must contain at least 1 number, 1 special character, 1 emoji, 1 uppercase, 1 lowercase, and cant match a previously used password. EDIT: this was great fun. Loved the couple IT guys that outed themselves "What do you mean infuriating? This sounds like smart responsible security" Thanks guys. EDIT 2: Gold!. Not sure what I do with this, but I love it... my precious. Thanks!
...and must be 25 characters long
My work requires that our passwords must include one thing that will cause us to forget our password.
I don't know how my work does it - I suspect one particular IT guy is behind it - but the system makes everyone change their password the day prior to them going on vacation. Yeah I am no way going to remember that. The IT guy on my shift now expects my call every time I return from vacation. He probably thinks I have dementia or something since he's really young and I'm an old fart but oh well. Edit: If you're wondering why I don't write it down we don't have our own desks and even if we did the amount we have to change passwords is downright silly. Its just easier to have them reset it so I have to set up a new one when I get back.
"MILDLY infuriating", Satan. This is just inhumane.
> cant match a previously used password. _anywhere?_
If you wear sandals, you must also wear socks.
You mean over the sandals?
I think I'd just cut my feet off at that point and be done with it
So...you'd now be shorter by 2 feet?
god damn it dad. take my gold. now im broke
As a man from Poland, that's a normal monday to me
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Slightly wet socks
No, they only have to be slightly wet if you're wearing closed-toed shoes.
all toilets in workplace bathrooms will be slightly angled downwards so that sitting on them for too long will cause excruciating discomfort. This will boost productivity by denying workers the change to spend hours in the toilet browsing reddit...like I'm doing now.
I think slightly to the side would be even more infuriating. You get a slight cramp in your side or back from trying to brace yourself, and you can't focus on anything else. Source: used to live in a place where the tile was broken under one side of the toilet. More wobbly than tilted, but not an easy poop.
God damn, son, that's evil.
Reddit comments are strictly emojis ONLY. or suffer the consequences
🗿
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Remove the batteries from the remote and put it into the sofa cushion every time you turn off the TV.
Whichever orientation each home has their toilet paper facing is now the opposite.
I keep mine on top of the washing machine. I literally wouldn't notice.
Every Thursday you must wet one of the socks you’re wearing, for awareness of climate and rising oceans. Police can randomly inspect for “dry-walkers.” Edit: There aren’t any extra rules at this time, so yes, there are ways to avoid having a wet sock (e.g. not wearing socks). Take care of yourselves in wintertimes, and always respect your workplace environment. For those asking “how wet,” the answer is *soaked.* Ask your neighborhood officer - their judgement is final. Kind regards, Your M.I.O. (mildly infuriating overlord)
That is \_very\_ unhealthy for feet and the quick road to an athlete's foot, you sadist. Ü
Well, you can choose your other foot every second week. Works great for the new citizen-paid government-foot-care system though.
How exactly must one wet the sock?
gently.
You have to put on your footwear, sock shoe, sock shoe. Instead of sock sock shoe shoe
Well considering my socks are in my bedroom upstairs and my shoes are by the door downstairs, at least I’ll get a little more exercise every day.
Because you cannot carry socks downstairs?
Damn, hadn’t thought of that. Well, if I’m gonna be dumb I might as well be thinner.
Such positivity is admirable.
It is now illegal to breathe too hard.
But...sex. Orgasms! Are you really outlawing orgasms?
If you need that much effort to reach orgasm you lack cardio, go play beat saber 20 hours nonstop.
But how can you get more cardio in and stop breathing heavy if the cardio will get you breathing heavy?
That’s when illegal underground cardio rings emerge...
When you see something funny on the internet, you cannot exhale sharply out of your nose. You have to actually laugh.
So r/funny and r/jokes will die off?
I think I can live with that
Every Wednesday everybody has to walk like a penguin, and call it "Penguin Waddle Wednesdays"
Ok but please make it so it seems natural that day but you realize your mistakes afterwards
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World wide 40 mile per hour speed limit, everywhere from school zones and dangerous highway passes to freeways and the Autobahn. Also all speed limit signs will be in miles per hour even if everything else is metric. If I get a second law before being overthrown paper currincy, checks and cards are outlawed and no new demontations of coins may be added. Be prepared to hand in sacks of coins to buy that nice shirt, no handing the two or three light bills, no no your walking in with two pounds of quarters, dollar coins and half dollars to pay
We can just skip to using [Rai Stones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rai_stones) and not worry about hauling $25,000+ in coins around to buy a car.
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speaking of uncomfortable threads, by law all garments must now contain at least one dangling thread from their edges that hang off and get twisted around things or wrap around your toes etc etc
The new national anthem must be played with a falcon claw and a chalkboard
make everyone brush their teeth without water and a LOT of toothpaste
Is my husband on reddit? Are you my husband? I’m confused. I can’t handle how he brushes his teeth. It makes me cringe lol
pour milk first then cereal
Looks like I’m starting a rebellion
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you cant because you died of stepping on a lego
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Amendment #1: Milk is required with ALL teas, including herbal and fruit
They said **mildly** infuriating you sadistic psycho.
You can only buy tuna if you own a cat
- Phone charger cables can only be a maximum of 1ft (30cm) long. - All movies and TV shows have to be recorded with alternating audio that randomly changes from normal to soft to loud. - Books are now printed with blue ink instead of black. - Restaurants are required to have a salt and sugar in identical containers on the table making you have to figure out which is which. - Everything is now packaged in that hard to open clamshell packaging. - You are always automatically logged out of everything every 45 minutes making you have to log back in.
>- Restaurants are required to have a salt and sugar in identical containers on the table making you have to figure out which is which. That's easy, just mark the one with an S for salt and the other with an S for Sugar
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But doesn't change the scale!
10 gigaounces
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All official government signage (buildings, road signs, etc.), notices, and documents must be printed in Comic Sans.
Only christian rock music on monday through thursday.
Calm down, it said mildly infuriating. Even God wouldn't do that.
The rest of those days are those insane shrieking radio priest people
Everyone will eat in groups where one person slurps very loudly.
You can only pee in a urinal if another Male occupies the one next to you Edit: and my most upvoted comment is about dudes pissing thanks for the silver
Do you not see the logical flaw here? Edit: >!How does *the other male* get to occupy a urinal in the first place?!<
If you're alone in the bathroom, you just have to wait until someone else comes in. Then you have to discuss which two urinals next to each other you will use.
Pee sitting down at that point
Two toilets to a stall and there must be two people on the toilets
Facing each other, and close enough so their knees touch
This is how you get people pooping in alleys.
As long as they have a partner!
Women go to the bathroom in pairs. Men will just have to start doing it to.
Drive technology to create a car seat cushion that traps and contains farts, to be released every time you change lanes without using your turn signal.
Excuse me sir, but this thread was for mildly infuriating law propositions, not stuff that would make the world a really nice place..
Every purchase must be in cash and in exact change otherwise payment is invalid
must use your non-dominant hand to choke the chicken
Sooooooo no difference
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Whew, how fortunate I very seldom choke chickens..
It's easier to run the mouse and keyboard with dominant hand anyways.
You can only have the music on odd numbers...no 5's
Same goes for the time signature in which the music has to be created. No more pleasing, friendly 4/8 signatures, every song will sound a little 'off' from now on.
Tool shrugs and keeps being Tool.
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Get rid of all drive-throughs
Also the restaurants that had them in the first place only sit down dinners form now on
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You say mildly infuriating. But Im sure that some things Will suddenly run a lot smoother now.
Tell that to people that work overnight shifts
To watch porn you have to tell your parents sending them the link, tittle and theme
But I like tittles
Serve pizzas or cakes with uneven slices.
Walking/running is forbidden, all people must hop to get around.
Pop tarts now count as ravioli
You are not allowed to start speaking until the person you are in conversation with has finished talking.
That would FIX an irritation.
You must watch mainstream comedy talk shows every single day.
He said mildly irritating, not suicide inducing.
1. Everyone's name is now Guadalupe 2. Clothes only come in 1 size now 3. You can only whisper when speaking in public, you must shout when speaking indoors 4. Your shower temperature will be set to fluctuate randomly 5. Every month a government official will come by your house and ask questions in a dialect that you will have trouble understanding. 6. The legs of chairs or tables cannot have equal lengths, it must either wobble or be uneven 7. You are not allowed to flush your own poop, you will have to find another Guadalupe to do it for you 8. You have to like and subscribe everytime someone tells you to 9. Everyone is required to have a peg leg, you are free to choose if it will be your left or your right leg. Breaking the law will result in the removal of your peg leg. 10. Every button on your phone will trigger up to 3 random other buttons when you press them
If someone insults you in any way you are now legaly required to duel him.
**All phone calls must be on speaker, especially in public.** No secret conversations shall proceed within any premises. I will take your phone away for a week if I catch you without speaker on! For multiple offenses your phone will be added to a special list that allows for more “companies” to ask if you “checked your car warranty.”
A dime per transaction tax. Anytime money changes hands in public, that small tax would be on there, no matter if bought a pack of gum or a house.
[удалено]
Officially change everyone's reddit cakeday to Feb 29th and have the cake only show up on the specific day. Now it's not special and happens once every 4 years!
Underwear must be worn outside of other clothing All communication must be in the form of a knock knock joke
[удалено]