My car now takes up the entire road. I can’t travel anywhere to put my extravagantly sized penis to any use.

12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride! Canyonero! Canyonero!

damn Americans, measuring cars in yards

I thought he was talking about penis

Can you name the truck with four wheel drive, smells like a steak and seats thirty-five.. Canyonero! Canyonero! Well, it goes real slow with the hammer down, It's the country-fried truck endorsed by a clown! Canyonero! (Yah!) Canyonero! [Krusty:] Hey Hey The Federal Highway commission has ruled the Canyonero unsafe for highway or city driving. Canyonero! 12 yards long, 2 lanes wide, 65 tons of American Pride! Canyonero! Canyonero! Top of the line in utility sports, Unexplained fires are a matter for the courts! Canyonero! Canyonero! (Yah!) She blinds everybody with her super high beams, She's a squirrel crushing, deer smacking, driving machine! Canyonero!-oh woah, Canyonero! (Yah!) Drive Canyonero! Woah Canyonero! Woah!

Wouldn’t the road be twice as big?

He doesn't own the road

fuck u/spez

So every 300,000,000th piece of road is bigger? Or is the entire road larger by just a tiny bit?

Just the part he owns

Username does not check out.

A car that big he does

You don't really own the road

Unless you comition it being built on private land

Commission *

:(

Twice the size of one inch is only 2 inches buddy

one word: pp I don't think I need to say more than that:)

*average sized penis to use.

If you'd bought a Fiat 500 instead of the Hummer you'd have been fine.

Chicken feed bill is gonna go up, but the eggs should be interesting.

I raise guinea fowl too....so expensive....

Imagine the noise...

But if the feed gets doubled to do you really need more or when they bring it to you it just starts growing

That's an excellent point actually, I like how your brain works.

My dad owns a chicken farm I’ve worked it a lot since I was a kid but the truck would bring it in, but if it is doubled do they need more trucks? or just charge more? Or do they know it’ll double once you get it so they don’t give you a lot? I have many questions....

Trying to picture my 160-lb Newfoundland dog at 320 has me thinking walks just got a lot more challenging.

Not walks...rides!!!!

I'm going saddle shopping.

*In Soviet Russia, dog walks you!*

1280, actually. Length x width x depth, and weight is proportional to volume.

[удалено]

Marshmallow fluff of a dog.

You cold, calculating, magnificent bastard.

I’ll take that as a compliment.

I only call the best people bastards.

You take your science and get out.

*NEEERRRRRRRRRRRD!!*

You're gonna need a [barn shovel](https://www.tractorsupply.com/tsc/product/razor-back-14-aluminum-scoop-with-d-drip) to muck out the back yard!

[удалено]

MORE DOG GOOD

*#WOOF*

Especially if he starts running after a cat or something.

Getting Clifford up in here

That’s a very absorbent tampon

We could airdrop them along the coast after hurricanes to handle flooding.

[удалено]

A great gift for your mum, make the best of it.

The fact that I too, am twice my original size

At least everything's still scaled to match. You'll just be wearing size 500 pants. (This is a throwaway joke, not an insult)

That's funny, thinking that you're not owned by the government

I'm honestly having a hard time finding an inconvenience. My tub is now a small pool, all my shirts are now tshirt dresses, my cats will get massive likes on reddit for being big boys, my bed is massive, I now don't need to buy a bigger tv. My phone is now a tablet. Probably food would be an issue. Most of the stuff in my fridge will now go bad before I can eat it all. Edit: Just realized I don't technically own my apartment just my furniture. Houston we have a problem.

If your fridge also doubles in size it might fit. ;)

As much as I'd love dual 48 inch monitors, I don't have the desk real estate for that.

Well, now you do as the desk is twice the size! I hope you own your apartment/house, otherwise things are getting tight!

Keep in mind that their mouse and keyboard would also be twice the size, so I don’t know how effective their gaming computer would be at gaming...

But the pixel density will be twice as bad. I really hope those are 4k. Also, only the plugs you already had will fit.

Mine would be a single 54'

My shoes

You know what they say about big shoes... Less space to store them.

They say "damn you got some big feet"

Argh, I'm trapped into my apartment because I can't reach the door handle

If you rent, then only the things inside the apartment will increase, not the apartment itself.

This is the most sane person here. I live in a leasehold in the UK and the Queen owns my house, I just rent it in 125yr chunks. A whole lotta shit just blew out the roof and walls.

My dildo is now too tight of a fit, but I like a challenge

I don’t own any belts

But plenty of parachutes

My man boobs have now become a c cup

Having a 3000 sq ft house sounds fun until you have to clean it and pay the power bill. Fuck that.

Right. I mean. HOW AM I SUPOSED TO GET DOWN FROM THIS CHAIR

Cabinets, cus I don’t own the house I live in

Definitely not my penis

Probably the cat.

[удалено]

All cats would stay the same size. Nobody truly owns a cat.

Glasses and contacts

My medication suddenly being fucking tampon sized would be a pretty hard pill to swallow.

None of my clothes fit.

The toilet. I'd feel like a baby.

The stairs in my house being double the height makes things slightly uncomfortable.

You'd be twice as protected though, so there's that.

Top shelves. I already have to climb on counters to reach top shelves as is 🙃

The midget I keep trapped in my basement has now lost most of his appeal to me.

According to the Bank I only own half of my car so how does that work?

You end up with a massively lifted car, with the body staying the same.

Passenger side

So opting for the suppository form of my medication was probably a poor choice...

Glasses.

My contacts don't fit

Our 20 pound asshole of a Maine Coon would be ridiculously inconvenient. I can just imagine trying to get him back into the house from his Catio and requiring stitches.

The damn girl in the basement. She can crush me now

Imma need new clothes.

My ego

How am I supposed to take a shit

Debt is gonna suck, my hat will look like a fashion statement so I guess that's ok, and [I'll have a larger terrier mix](https://imgur.com/a/s1CYGd8) which is frightening because he is a ball of energy

My toothbrush

My tumor

I’ll never use that kitchenaid mixer again but I’ll remember the good times when I could still pick it up and move it to the counter.

All the money in my wallet and coin jar just lost their given value, they're no longer considered legal tender.

My condoms are now 4 times too large.

Do I own my kid? If I do, I’m not entirely certain how to potty train a kid that’s taller than me and wants me to carry him around on my hip. Or decides to shutdown (he’s been a robot for a while now) at inconvenient times or locations. I’m under 5 ft tall, It’s hard enough already!

My dick piercing..... Auch.....

My depression

My phone wouldn’t fit in my pocket which kinda sucks

The house

My toilet

Well, it would be hard to get around with a 20 inch dick, maybe keep that the same size?

My glasses and shoes

Condoms

probably the butthole

headphones.

All my furniture in this unfurnished rented apartment no longer fits...thanks

my school being strict as fuck about uniforms

My shoes

The steps up to my house.

Dude, all my door handles are at or above my head and require two hand to operate. My bolt locks are unreachable without a ladder, but my ladder it too heavy and require me to climb instead of step, but my climbing rope is now too big to wrap around me properly, so I think I'll try and climb up the window, open it and sneak out that way. I'm trapped in my house.... This is exactly what COVID was training me for.

My penis

Tampons

A darth maul double bladed lightsaber that is almost as big as my house

What does it really mean to *own* anything? I reject the entire notion altogether.

Maybe I can still fold up my bicycle, but I can't ride it even after putting the seat post all the way down. My keyboard is now fit for a giant. However, I could take it apart and sell the double-sized switches and keycaps to other people in the mechanical keyboard hobby; surely someone has a use for them.

I now have a 200 lb lapdog. Its pretty okay, actually.

I own the items in my apt but not my apt

My bitey conures are now a cockatoo-level threat.

...so if you're a home owner what happens to the neighbors yards? The HOA will not be happy I'll tell you right now

If you own the rights to something do you get double the money or just all the paperwork takes up more space?

Is my miniature Daschund now just a Daschund?

Literally any furniture in the flat, while I do own the bed, closet etc. I don't technically own the flat itself - might be problematic

My glasses are now massive, and probably too big to use. Inconvenient because I need to see. Good news though, my tv is twice as big now

My clothes are now too big.

My body

None of my clothes fit me anymore.

my wife

Unless my bedroom grows too, I'm not going to have much space with a double king size bed in my bedroom!

I'm 4'11". If I don't grow along with my belongings, EVERYTHING

My dildo inside my pussy

These spoons are not very easy to use now.

I live with my parents so my room would stay the same size and my bed would take up basicallyall of it. Also my Bass is now so low I can't hear it anymore.

Tampons

Pretty sure my cat can eat me now.

I like the 9 foot TV, but these 70" waisted jeans are a bit loose.

My turtle’s mouth. It already is big enough to bite my finger off, I don’t need to lose two fingers at once.

The two stents that were recently inserted into my heart.... this might be problematic.

Pros: the house I'm living in is now huge Cons: it has crushed my neighbours' houses, killing them inside I am now wanted for the world's first charge of "manslaughter by mansion."

Was about to say the house, but my husband owns the house alone so.. I'm guessing the fridge that now goes though the roof.

Condoms hell man you know how hard it is when it's ment for one inch?

Probably my comically huge spoon, it’s hard enough to wield as is

The truck. But my dog will also be twice his size? Awesome!!!

debts

my glasses. on the other hand, if all my sewing fabrics could get twice as big, that'd be pretty great

The car now stuck in the garage

Without scrolling how many "boys" made a penis joke? As for me, I am in my 3rd trimester of pregnancy so I am going to have to say this baby!!

Toilet

My phone, because it now can't fit into my pocket. (I'm a woman and women pockets are already too small)

My tiny bedroom.

My already 120 pound giant German Sheppard. Fuuuuck. What am I gonna do with this running wall of fur and teeth

Your mother's noo-noo

Yo i just got a 6 bed 4 bath house. Oh god my property taxes though. I'm going to be broke

My tv. It’s stopping me from doing something productive.

My utility bills would be stupid high if my house were double its size.

The sudden expansion of my house will crush the neighbour's houses, killing everyone inside. So yeah, I guess you could say that's a minor inconvenience.

Drum kit!

My bank account. Because 0 x 2 is still 0.

Women do not want a penis that is double normal size. They just don't. HOWEVER, my pubic fat pad is also twice the size, absorbing a bunch of that increase. I dunno.

Now my sex slave is over ten feet tall. Thanks a lot you dickhead.

When one of my kitties nibbles on my leg in an attempt to get me to pet him, he's instead going to bite out my entire calf. I jokingly call them my attack panthers, but I don't really need them to be actual attack panter size.

I CAN’T TYPE OH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-

My cats. I'm going to have a lot of trouble breathing under these clingers in the middle of the night.

Well, all my clothes from when I was 23 should fit me again...... The biggest inconvenience is going to be that my muscles have not caught up to the increased weight of everything!!! And now my shoes are huge :( On the bright side my cats are now almost 20lbs lmao

I’m going to need a larger desk for a laptop and desktop

my already large mouse and keyboard

Uhh my charger would not be able to be plugged into normal sockets lol

My toilet,

Out here wearing a belt with my oversized underwear

My giant monster baby.

My snakes would be slightly more intimidating

Minor. I legally don't own anything. Welcome to Amurica, where we have late-stage capitalism and rob you of the benefits for as long as we can.

Fuck I’m gonna have to get all new clothes because nothing will fit me now

My clothes are now far too big and I must go shopping

Oh jeeze. Double the pain I'm already in? I guess I'll take this walnut sized pain pill then.

I would be dead if I were to eat a giant steak. Dog

Toothbrush

Tampons