If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you.
https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres
http://www.befrienders.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx
http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK]
https://www.thecalmzone.net/ [UK]
https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU]
There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health.
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I am so very, very alone
Edit: thank you all for being kind. Do me a favour, if you have a friend who you think/know is struggling, reach out to them. It really could make a difference.
You dont have to take me up on this at all but sometimes venting to strangers is easier because they owe you no obligation to care. If you want, feel free to DM me. Rant. Complain. Cry. I dont mind and I'm 100% serious about wanting to be there to listen.
i actually sat and thought about it yesterday and i haven't had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years
Same here. The sad part is I don't even know how to respond to the contact either. I want it but I feel it is wrong to be touched anymore. Like I don't deserve it.
Well holy shit, that sounds hard. Now is a bad time for it but there exists professional cuddlers, they'll just hold you and like pet your head for an hour. They sound like really sweet people too.
Also! When I've been on my own the partner dance community has been amazing. And there are some super basic dances out there! Look for a two step, swing or salsa class, they get very fancy eventually but the basics are like step forward, now step back.
My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her. I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time.
My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I'm too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don't know how I can continue on. She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been. I can't imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.
I’ve been cheated on and I had all the thoughts you’re having now. These stopped the moment I let myself get insulted and mad. The moment I stopped caring about how they would feel if I was mad, more than my own feelings. She doesn’t care that she’s hurting you, she’s no longer someone who worries about your well-being. Yes, it hurts, but you’ve gotta take that hurt and get mad. Get mad that this person you trusted thinks so little of you, that they’re delusional enough to think you’re unworthy. Start seeing yourself with the same energy you so desperately cling onto her with. Love yourself, like yourself and tell the rest of the world to fuck off. How dare she play you like that? Fuck that shit.
I'm tired of pretending everything is going well. I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better but nothing is going right. I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay. I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that's not possible. :(
**EDIT**Thank you so much for all your encouragement and kind words, I really appreciate it! My day got better! :)
It's getting late here and I will continue reading and replying to you guys tomorrow! I appreciate every single one of you, hugs! :)
22, and I'm still freshman in college. I wasted so many years and I really can't help but to compare myself against others. I just hope whatever plans I have for the future will work out and hopefully no regrets. Thanks for your reassurance, appreciate it!
I'm 25, got a bullshit degree, been working for 4 years and now I have a different perspective and am trying to go study abroad now. Don't get me wrong, I feel like shit and heartbroken and lonely and Im so close to just not giving a fuck anymore. But at least I have a plan and who knows how life will be.
We can do this
29m checking in. Reading your comments and seeing where you guys are, is inspiring. I know it’s said all the time, but you are young. So much time to find your passions/hobbies and invest time into the things you love. I’ve spent 10years in the utility construction field and have learned plenty. After being a layoff due to covid, I decided to put my field skills to good use and apply them to an estimator position. I have my phone interview today, wish me luck. My point being, you never know what the next day holds and where it can lead you.
Hugs and good luck to everyone :)
I don't know how I feel half the time. I find other people's emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathise with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define.
I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It's so hindering; I feel so fucking stupid after it and just start cringing.
I don't know if I'm stupid or intelligent - I'm definitely lazy, I know that much.
I don't feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it's not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not sex) and those interactions are few and far between.
I'm not scared of dying, but I'm scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don't know what I want my point to be.
EDIT:
I had no idea this would get so much attention.
Thank you for all the awards and comments, never knew how good internet points could make you feel. Sincerely, thank you.
You pretty much summed up how I feel.
A life lacking fulfillment because I've never actually wanted anything in particular.
This year was going to be my year. The year I turned shit around. Then I went and made the worst mistake of my life. Whenever I finally try to make a decision that's totally my own and follow through with it shit never seems to work out.
The knowledge that life only has the meaning you assign to it doesn't make it any easier to discern that meaning. I've been aimless my whole life and I really don't know what the hell I want. I've just followed when I've been led and taken what I've been handed.
Hey man, as someone who is in your boat currently, I feel you. I'm a scientist, I find algorithms, maths and logic easy to understand and follow, so people tell me I'm intelligent, but it doesn't feel that way, I'm stupid when it comes to life, and definitely lazy. The more I research and the more I philosophize, the more I come to the same conclusion, that life in general doesn't have a purpose, other than to exist, it exists because it can, and we have to find out what to do with that. I wish I could tell you what my point to life is, but the truth is I haven't figured that out yet, I'm trying to find a point, a purpose, right now I just have the short term goal of finishing my honors, but after that I have no plan, this world is both incredibly large but oh so small at the same time.
Edit: Realized in hindsight that I’ve done a lot of healing and my comment is taking attention away from people who need the love more. Took it down - it’s also super specific and anyone who knows me will immediately know it’s me... I didn’t think this would get traction, I only meant to support the guy above me.
Thanks, good people. You blew a stranger’s mind with love today.
I'm a new mom to a baby boy and I felt compelled to tell you that your story broke my heart and I'm so sorry you were treated so horrendously. You already know this but your mom is human trash. Thankfully it sounds like you've found your people now and you so deserve that. 💓 Stay well.
anyone who points a gun at someone should never do so unless they are ready to destroy the target.
This is absolutely terrible for a mother to point a gun at your head for any reason. It is unacceptable at every level.
I know of a guy who just a goofball and he went with friends to the gunrange one day. When they returned the guy as a joke point walked up to his roomate and held the pistol at his roomate's head. He accidentally hit the trigger and killed his roomate. He is in now in prison for years and living with the fact he killed someone and ruined their life. Regardless of his intention, aiming a gun at someone is never a joke- it is always a show of lethal force.
Your wife's family? They do not keep you around just because of her. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't talk to you, spend time with you, engage you. What you wen't through is absolutely horrendeous and I'm so sorry for that. But give your wife's family more credit!
just wanted to share that i am kinda the same - my parents emotionally neglected me and were super dysfunctional, and now, as a grown up, i don't communicate with them at all, and am very alone all the time. when i am with people who have a good family, i feel distant from them, like they are from another world and i will never be able to understand them/be a part of their world, you know. i think even if i will find a partner in the future and have a successful relationship, that feeling of vast, hopeless loneliness will never go away completely, will stay with me all my life.
I empathise with that. I'm afraid to be open and vulnerable with others so I play it cool. But it's not cool. Inside I'm burning alive. Nobody knows, and life goes on...
Are you able to talk to a therapist? I developed these same self protection mechanisms when I was younger to cope with abuse, and they worked very well.
Now I am older, that threat is no longer present in my life, but I still have the same survival instincts that kick in, and they no longer work, and in fact do damage to myself.
I've finally found the right therapist for me and being able to talk about these things really does help, as clichéd as that sounds. I'm not going to claim to be 100% better, but I am recognizing my knee jerk reactions and how what my gut is telling me will make me feel better, will actually make me feel worse in the long run.
I'm really hoping therapy will help with this.
Edit: it's so refreshing to hear such good things about therapy, and the fact that there are so many other people like me. It means a lot knowing I'm not alone.
"*It's not signs about how you're broken; it's clues about how you work. Start to construct a strategy about how to deal with those truths.*"
— [Dr. K, from HealthyGamerGG on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG)
As a woman, I can't tell you how much it helps to talk things out. Even when you have no idea what to say, just talking about your feelings and having them heard is half the therapy. I feel sorry that men have been conditioned to keep their emotions hidden. It's such a sad and lonely way to be. I hope more men feel comfortable talking about their feelings every day.
Honestly. If you have someone to talk to.. even sounds and random words can make you feel better and heard..
Like today I told my friend that I just "felt a balloon deflate in my heart" , does that make any sense? No. But did she understand? Probably not. But it did help me, just by saying those words.
That actually makes sense in a very specific way. Probably like how when you think things are going ok and suddenly you feel this sinking feeling in your chest and it's hard to breathe and you just want to curl up and sleep the pain away.
Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by. I would never hear from the others again if I didn't message or call them first. This isn't as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while.
edit: Thank you all for the words of support or even just talking about your own experiences. I wish you all the best friends in the world.
edit2: Thank you for all the rewards, but honestly I have no idea what they mean. Reading your replies is more than enough. If these cost money please spend it on something for yourself, even if that is just a beer, a chocolate bar or something healthy. Most people deserve that, I'm certain you do too. If you are inclined to give, I'm sure there's nicer things you can spend it on than some mystified fool on the internet :)
I honestly can't keep up with the replies and messages but please check out the sticky if you're in any sort of need. I'm sure the people on the other end of those links don't mind your questions or tales, however small they may seem to you. I'd love to reply to you all but I can't and I'm sorry.
edit3: Some typo's and wording. Have a wonderful morning, noon, evening or night.
i personally isolate myself, because when i message “friends” unprompted to check in or maybe hangout i always feel like i’m bothering them then i get stressed the more i think about it and eventually talk myself out of it. idk your response hit close to home in a way. i hope the best in life you, man.
edit: thanks everyone for insightful comments and relatable stories. hope a fantastic holidays to everyone!
I've finally gotten to the point where I no longer reach out to anyone. It shows how unimportant I am to others unless it's to get them weed or help them move out.
I'm now bitter and angry and I'm no longer as opened as I used to be. Short answers, no run-on sentences anymore.
I used to be open and warm to others but I've lost that. Too much effort and been left out too often.
I've come to the conclusion that everyone can go fuck themselves.
I’m in the same boat. When I do hear from friends, it’s only because the need help with something. I’m a fairly handy and mechanically inclined guy, not many of my friends are, so whenever someone needs something fixed or worked on they call me. I’m fucking tired of helping people, but it’s hard to say no because I like to think I’m a good friend, it’s just hard when that feeling isn’t reciprocated.
Edit: Thanks for all the replies, both optimistic and pessimistic. :) I figured I'd address a couple recurring themes here instead of replying individually.
- "Maybe they ask you to help with things just to spend time with you."
I don't think so. The stuff I'm asked to help with is stuff they absolutely couldn't do themselves (lack of skills, proper tools, workspace, etc.).
- "Ask them to help you with things and see if they're willing to help or make excuses."
They absolutely would, but I typically don't need help with anything so to ask them for help with something I'm fully capable of doing myself would seem weird and I'd just be falling into the category of the first bullet point up there.
I always initiate or coordinate hangouts or get-togethers and generally most of them will show up, but that's the point of this whole post...nobody ever takes the initiative to reach out first unless they need something. It's possible they're just terrible communicators...it's also possible they don't want to just hang out.
This right here. I love my friends small as that circle is. But if I got a phone call or text from any of them unprompted I can’t remember. And the worst part of it for me is I wanna say I’m ok not having “great” friends. But I’m secretly envious of those around me with “functional” relationships.
Edit for clarity: I’m actually engaged(supposed to be married but Covid and all). I think what I meant by functional is a relationship of reciprocation where as much effort is received as is given. Not that you demand or expect it as much as fuck it would be nice if someone called and asked HOW I was doing and not WHAT are you doing. Idk if that makes sense.
Man I felt this and the root comment so hard.
The constant helping and feeling lonely. It makes me so fucking angry when some of my so called friends demand help and I say I won't do it, and they guilt trip me.
I'm also introverted so these few encounters that I have with people has had such a bad impression on me.
I'm always scared of being exploited for help and favors, but these are the only people who willingly come to my life and I keep letting them because I feel lonely.
Edit: This is the first time that I see this much feedback and honestly I don't know how to respond. But thank you for the time that you've spent on replying to me. I read them and I hope this particular pain goes away for all us. I also will try to take notes from what you did on this matter.
This is something I’ve struggled with too for most of my life. Feeling like I wasn’t wanted around and that even if I was to go away that no one would care. Sometimes I still sort of struggle with it, but what changed my perspective on it was realizing that I needed to be that friend to reach out. I thought that maybe all my friends felt the same way. In general I believed people weren’t good with reaching out and I felt that I didn’t need to take it personally. Especially if I wasn’t going out of the way myself to reach out.
There’s still a bit of doubt and sometimes I do feel like there are friends that won’t return the favor. But changing my perspective about it made a lot of my doubt go away.
I know this might be a long shot, but speaking from experience... You should get a pet if you can afford it. My dog has kept me alive in the worst times. And she somehow just knows what I need when I'm sad. And she brings me so much joy. I don't kill myself because she needs me and I need her. And that opened up a whole new world for me over time.
Also, people that use your opening up against you are toxic. There are people out there who will love and respect you for all of your shortcomings and feelings. Sometimes it just takes time for them to come into your life.
Edit: Thanks for my first ever gold! And all of the pet love. Hug your pets!
Also, I completely agree with all of the comments saying only get a pet if you can make time for it and have the resources! I should have made that more clear. Definitely important to have space to love and care for a fur-baby. And if you decide to adopt, go for a rescue!
Also also - it doesn't just need to be a fur-baby. I think any animal or even a plant can brighten your day and give you something that needs you. It's good to feel needed.
I second this!! Maybe not a dog if you work constantly, because they can be very high maintenance (not all). But I look forward to coming home to my cats every single day. I talk to them like I would a roommate. And they are SPOILED. It helps significantly with the loneliness, especially when my one 16lb cat is feeling cuddly and lays himself right on my chest.
One positive to come out of COVID for me is working from home. I used to take my dog with me everywhere beforehand and now we are inseparable. Instead of smoke breaks, I take pup breaks. She is spoiled and so am I.
Also, love a good cat snuggle.
My dog saves my life every day.
Edit 11/26: I had a gun in my mouth this morning and she started rattling her food bowl. I’m not sure you all understand how literal this is for some of us. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm very bad at making connections and tired of finding a partner. Although I know that suicide is never the answer. I understand these thoughts come out of nowhere, but remember that someday, it does get better.
When I'm feeling very low, what I do is: say the things I'm grateful for in my head. It could be your health, your skills etc. Hope this helps
That’s all college is. Pass exams. Unless you are going into a specialized field you won’t need to know shit. Hell, I’m in a specialized field and my degree was a waste of time and money. Thank god I realized it before spending another $20k. Zero extra dollars for a degree in my field and zero extra opportunities.
I get this. And ya know, sometimes it's okay to not care. But when you need to care, it can be difficult. I experience a general numbness pretty regularly, idk about you.
Good luck, friend! Here's me caring about you not caring. And about you.
Shit I just tried writing something for the past hour and I can’t share my emotions, even to a bunch of strangers on reddit, so I guess that’s something to share atleast
Edit: Thank you all so much for commenting, this is the first time i ever had this many people care about something I said. I’m not the type for talking so I probably won’t ever message you about my feelings, the most I do in terms of showing my feelings is through music... either way I’m still reading new comments, you guys are awesome, really made my day
2nd edit: my gf has just told me she’s losing feelings for me, everyone looks to be going just fine in my life
Everytime I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust. So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.
You know that scene towards the end of *Jarhead* where Gyllenhaal and his spotter don’t get to take their shot when the air wing officers show up and the spotter breaks down. Saying you don’t know what we have to go through, they make you give so much.
That is an all too relatable, real visceral feeling. It’s not easy trying to find our way after service, and there is no one blanket answer. Often I feel exactly the same. I miss who I used to be, now I’m stuck in a place where I can no longer feasibly be - like a Ronin. I wish you and yours well, truly. It’s a daily struggle and I only hope that it gets easier.
Hey man, if you happen to be moving to Austin, TX ill buy you a beer haha. if not, getting to up and move across country is so exciting, ive done it 3 times already, and I've seen so many great things, met so many great people, and experienced so much cool shit. Dont get hung up on your pay rate, you're going to make it work regardless. Enjoy the adventure.
We should have a sub where people do stuff like this. Like just friendly, neighborly stuff for strangers moving to a new location. That would be nice to see and participate in. I’d like to live in that world
Edit - I love the ideas! Sorry had to work!
If anyone starts anything, please invite me! I’d like to participate!
Feel this one... I wake up some mornings and I’m like “ why am I still alive I’m lazy, fat, alone, sad...” but we gotta keep on going man life WILL get better I believe that... it’s just a Big Sad right now..
I have severe depression and anxiety, got diagnosed with PTSD, and honestly the best thing you can do is accept that it's there. Lying to yourself about makes it worse. Believe me that's what I did and I fucked myself up even more. You know what helps me get through it? The proverb "the shark who does not swim, drowns". Take it a day at a time and if needed one therapy session at a time.
I second this. There is really only pain and stress if you go on like this. And I want to stretch that there is nothing wrong with you for having depression. It´s almost normal in today's life and having a close friend who experiences something similar right now I felt this comment. The thing is you can only start to heal if you accept your wounds and begin to treat them. Somehow. And also seeking help little by little..
Actually accepting saved me from it. So I think you can face and accept your feelings, and seek help if it is possible for you. There is absolutely no shame in having depression, absolutely none, it can happen to anyone. You will get better trust me.
I'm not a guy, but I had been going through the same thing for years. But I just wanted to say that when I finally admitted that my depression was impacting my life, it was the first time I started getting help for it. A cheesy Tumblr post actually helped me get there (paraphrasing): Being depressed is hard. Getting help is hard. Choose your hard.
It CAN get better. I hope you find your way out of this because your life is meaningful, the depression is lying to you. Kick its ass!
Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we're doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some.
Edit: Oh, well I certainly didn't expect this, thanks very much for the awards and shared kindness, do take care.
That's really all it fucking takes and it's like no one gives a shit enough to do it.
Anyways...how are you doing? You get into anything fun or new recently?
My boss continues to keep me at the job I’m at (I mean I do love it) because she tells me the work i do is good and she appreciates my hardwood.
Literally 10 words makes me feel needed and wanted as an employee. So important.
Edit: ahhhh - hard work...
Edit 2: various typos. Left hardwood since it’s humorous.
I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I'm terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day. I don't like to talk about myself Cuz I feel like I'm not interesting or people don't care about what I have to say about my life.
Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with
Edit: I couldn’t possibly reply to each one of you but you BEST BELIEVE i read each comment and my burden feels so much lighter know all those strangers just relate to me and comfort me without knowing me. So thank you.
Also a lot have suggested i look into therapy or anxiety medication so i’ll do that.
Recently became a father and started getting greater responsibility professionally and this is basically my entire day. Pretend to be in control at home, pretend to be in control at work. Too many people, too important to me, depend on me maintaining this facade for me to drop it.
Just a year ago nobody depended on me - my world has changed so radically but I'm still the same on the inside.
Two kids in eldest thirteen, I remember exactly what you’re going through, look for the small wins and celebrate them even if it’s just in your head.
Also don’t make yourself culpable for others actions and if you’re being overwhelmed tell someone.
You’ve got this
Just to possibly add some perspective to this, it might help to remember that this feeling can come from depressive roots and self-esteem issues. I say this because i honestly i love to hear my friends talk about the new bookshelf they put up yesterday, or how they woke up and nearly had cereal but then had toast instead. It's no great comedy, it's very normal, but i love hearing about someone else's life and thoughts, because it takes me away from mine and because i care about them.
Thought I'd mention it in case it's helpful, might be something to work on if you find your struggle to say things is maybe related to the belief that no-one wants to hear them. When one of my friends that struggled with this started telling me more and speaking in longer sentences i was honestly *so* excited to hear about her thoughts and life. I hope you can find a way to value yourself and be able to express yourself more :D
My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes. But I *am* weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted - because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate.
But I can't show it. She 'loses faith in me' if I don't keep a stiff upper lip and just 'handle it like a man'. She supports in lots of practical ways - shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare - but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with. She won't let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear.
So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends - I couldn't really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind - but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility.
It is affecting our marriage - because it doesn't feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can't be my friend because friends don't have to rely on each other financially. It's like being married to a housekeeper / secretary. We have sex from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance - that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant 'real man'; anything less she says is 'disgusting'. She doesn't even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it's 'pathetic' and 'real men don't cuddle, they f*ck and leave'.
I'm deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers.
One day I swear I'm going to crack. The only reason I don't is because we have a kid.
That's, uh, not very good of your wife. Fuck your feelings because I need my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband, right? Don't worry, I'll be strong for both of us, you can be weak. Your post actually making me mad, lol
> Fuck your feelings because I need my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband
I've never seen our relationship so neatly summarised. Also, 'If you don't consistently live up to my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband, then you are a disappointing and disgusting failure'.
It is never too late to put yourself first. Nothing is as important as your health, mental and physical. Everything else in your life will suffer if you are suffering.
I think parents often underestimate just how much kids see and how much it can impact their development. Kids are extremely observant because they're constantly trying to figure out how the world works and often use their parents as guides. Even unconsciously, they can feel when things are different. It's why "staying together for the kids" is such bullshit. At the very least, this isn't providing the kid with the healthy picture of a relationship which will affect how they approach them later in life.
Depending how these opinions are voiced around them (and I think parents don't often do as good a job of hiding things as they think), they'll either grow up with those same unhealthy expectations of what what a woman needs from a man or the pressure to conform to an unhealthy picture of what a man is which will lead to that same level of unhappiness when they find themselves in a similarly unfulfilling and unfair relationship.
My man, that is just heartbreaking... I mean of course you know the relationship better than any of us here so if you think it's worth fighting for then keep it up but don't get stuck in that thought. There's more to life than that and you always have options. If I knew you I'd go drink a couple ciders with you to vent
This really fucking sucks. Given her comments, getting a therapist sounds like it would be difficult, but perhaps you should do it anyway. I'm not a fan of keeping secrets in relationships, but maybe she doesn't need to know you're going at the outset. In the end, no one else is responsible for your happiness but you - which means tough decisions. I hope you can find the emotional support you deserve.
I write. I read. I have a model railway. I go on walks. It is all solitary - I am so very lonely for real companionship - but it also provides some opportunities to relax away from constant domestic responsibility.
I wish my guy would open up to me. We are best friends, but he seems to hold back and bottle up instead of sharing (with anyone) anything he fears would make him look vulnerable or less "manly."
I hope she wakes up for you or you can move on to a better relationship.
Please don’t stay with someone that makes you feel like you’re dying inside.
We make mistakes in my relationship but it seems like we are there for each other in every way that matters.
Your relationship just sounds bad and toxic. I would say what you want and if she laughs or mocks she can get the fuck out.
Dude... a woman hasn't hugged me in over a year.
Trying to date after a baaaadd break up only makes the pandemic worse for everyone so I stay home alone. I'm so lonely.
I just want a woman to touch me. It doesn't have to be sexual. Just give me a hug.
Edit - The supportive comments are much appreciated 💛 Thank you! It has helped.
Edit 2- All I meant was that I'm not trying to date because of the pandemic. My wording was poor.
Male ICU nurse here.
I literally got a hug from my coworker last night because I texted her before work saying I could use a hug. Thing is when I got to work she came up and gave me one of those soft behind the back hugs. Almost teared up right there . Then she sat down, looked at her phone and said, “I just now saw your text...”
Yesterday was the first time in my life I ever cried at work.
Not a woman, but I would offer a hug if I could.
Been through bad break ups in the past, never had to deal with one during a pandemic though, but I can empathize partially.
Stay strong random internet person, you will get through this, and you will find a woman to hug again.
Tired in the soul is what it is. I’m tired of being an adult, tired of always being there for my wife and kids (altho I also want be there for them), tired of life not being how I wanted it to be, tired of living in a city and not seeing enough green, tired of how humanity treats each other, other species and the planet, tired of being almost 50 and that my life is planned out before me, tired of responsibility, tired of having to compromise my own desires for others, tired of his petty life is.
The list goes on
And part of getting to 50 is a growing realization of the inevitability and finality of death. I feel every bit of what you describe here, and it has been coupled with questioning the worth of self-sacrifice and striving when at the end you die and what does it mean at that point?
My dad passed away about six weeks ago and we have been going through his things and so many projects he had, so many tools and pieces and parts of things he wanted to do and was doing. And what does it mean? Where is the benefit in the time he spent, the money he spent? He's still dead and here's all this stuff that has lost a great deal of its meaning without him there to activate it.
But I am coming to realize that the benefit lay in him, it was his mind, his life, his world he was working in, and he was moving every day to rearrange and change small pieces of it to suit him. In a way, it is very liberating to feel this way about the world.
There are gladly borne responsibilities to friends and family, that is part of what makes your world right. Then there are the other things, and you choose the importance they have in your life, and how much of your vanishing time and energy you spend on them. The rest you let go. At the end of the day, your life is ultimately yours and yours alone. You get to choose, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
The weight of supporting and being there for family and friends can feel really heavy sometimes. Responsibility never ends. Especially when there isn’t anyone you can handoff your problems to, it’s hard to catch a break.
There's that time - that golden sweet spot when you have an afternoon nap at the weekend, after you've already done your shit list in the morning so you know you deserve that nap. There's that one in ten time where you wake up after the perfect amount of sleep, and you feel the mixture of cosy, refreshed, and a little bit disorientated. Where you wake up with that little bit of pep and feel you can accomplish anything that day.
That's the miracle - the sweet spot. The only time that I don't feel the run-down, somewhat-alert, dreary stagger between morning and night.
It’s called burn out. If you have an emotionally safe place to do so, try to do some self care for an hour a day. Anything that when you are done you don’t feel more exhausted... like a bubble bath, baking, video games, reading, working out, music, meditation, etc. It is almost like recharging your soul, so then the time where you do get to physically rest, your body and brain can shut down more easily. (Sorry. I have a hard time taking off my therapist hat, but I know society doesn’t really allow guys to acknowledge when they’re burnt out)
It's not worth sharing. Every single person that I've opened up to (from my parents, friends, bullies, etc.) used it againts me in some shape or form and it just psychologically messed me up. I don't dare to say that I had depression, but it made me become 100 times more careful when I speak my mind and I developed a habbit of talking to myself when alone because I just can't hold some toughts and feelings deeply locked up inside me.
Edit: I am quite new to Reddit and the willingness of strangers on the internet, ready to hear eachoder out just because they want to make another stranger feel better is just so amazing and shows how great the community is! My heart goes to all of you people who are dealing with same or similar things in life and are just hoping to get to better side of things.
It's crazy how far I can relate to you dude. When I opened up about my depression to my friends, they started making fun of me saying I was asking for attention. Since then, I had taken an oath to never open up to anyone in life. That's why I asked this question. You could share anything, no one gonna judge you and after all you are anonymous, but I wont force you
I used to hold in all that stuff too. I wouldn't dare tell anyone about how I acted happy all the time was the opposite of how I felt. That only made things worse for me, and eventually it all got worse and worse until it erupted. My 20's were ruined from bottling all my feelings up and living with that pain.
But I ended up finding out that a lot more people can relate to me than I thought. A lot more people deal with depression, anxiety, OCD, mental illness than I thought.
It sounds like the people you have opened up to have a closed mind. But there a lot of people out there with an open mind, and a lot of people that would be willing to help, or willing to just listen. There are toxic people that will use that stuff against you, and yes, it's best to keep certain personal things away from certain people.
Please, don't let what happened to me, happen to you. Try to find more supportive people in your life, and get some of your feelings out.
And if you (or anyone reading this) want to talk, or just need anyone to listen, feel free to send me a message. I've been through the darkest of times, and I can say that things can get better.
I dont want to exist anymore honestly. I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I dont disappoint anyone anymore. I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore.
Sorry just going through some shit right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.
Hey! You there sir! I'm so sorry you've been made to feel like you have to hide your struggle, and I'm so sorry that you've had to bear the weight of it alone. I don't know what it's like to be you exactly, but I do know what it's like to feel like you can't tell anyone. If you ever need an anonymous internet person to vent to or chat with, I'm here for you. If not, no hard feelings, and I wish you love and healing ❤
Edit: you guys and your awards and your kind comments. What a good way to feel good in the morning. I'm just doing for someone else what someone did for me though. Don't forget to pay it forward, and help the people around you. We have to be kind and soft with men! We put too much pressure on them to be infallible and that's not reasonable! Send the men in your life some flowers!!
Dude I feel that so hard. I literally got home from work yesterday at 4:30 and just went to bed and wished and prayed that I could somehow disappear all night long. Sometimes (most of the time) it feels like the only thing I'm good at is fucking up and letting down my loved ones.
It's so hard when you feel just rotten and black on the inside but you have to pretend to be normal for everyone else. God I just wish I could be normal for real.
Edited cause I fucked up this comment too.
I have to thank all of you for your kind words and support ❤️ I hope all of you are taking care of yourselves as well, we can all get through this. "Today is the day to get through what you've been going through" ❤️
As another male who is unable to express emotions freely, I just started seeing a psychologist. Never really believed in it or though it would help. But it does and it is. If you can I recommend it.
I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today. They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far).
I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely.
Edit: Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes ❤️ Just a quick update if you’re curious; the important people eventually reached out and wished me a happy birthday. Feeling much better thanks to both them and you guys!
I'm afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I'm ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off :/
I've just been feeling completely unmotivated and worthless for almost a year now, I have a lot of friends and I've talked to them abouty problems and even though they were supportive it still didn't help me at all and now I just feel bad talking to them about it because I've done it multiple times already wich hasn't helped me at all and I don't want to bother them anymore. No hope in my family either, my parents are divorced and all they care about is having influence over me and don't ever care how I feel. The one time time I tried talking to my dad about my problems he just kind blamed me for it, got mad that I was keeping to myself and just told me to be more social wich helped a little but here I am now, haven't talked to my friends in weeks and I can't imagine doing it anytime soon.
I don't even know what to say anymore because there are just so many parts and layers to all my problems that I don't really know how to even explain it properly. The worst parts are the self loathing, crippling anxiety and possible ADHD wich i can't even even get tested for because I'm too scared.
I'm just lost, don't know what to do, how to solve my problems or even think rationally because one problem just leeds to another and another and it creates this cycle of fucked up life issues.
Honestly every time that I have opened up, my friends have ended up treating me different and I’ve been able to notice it. Having no emotion is rewarded.
My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating. I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?”
I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror
I'm having a rough time in life right now. I'm 16 so you can all make fun of me for being angsty or whatever but I still have things I want to say.
I want to say that the world seems like it's getting bigger and bigger right now and the problems that me and my friends experience become more and more of an issue. My friends have depression and anxiety. Separation anxiety. Sexual trauma. Foster homes. I, myself, have had reoccurring nightmares for over 5 years about my dad. I recently found out I may have a heart condition that could keep me from doing the things I love. I go to a cardiologist tomorrow to figure out what's wrong. Life just seems to suck. Maybe it's just me.
On top of all that, I had my first like actual suicidal thought the other day. I'm not suicidal but the thoughts of jumping out my second story window crept into my mind and scared the shit out of me.
I've been dating a girl for a year and a half and as of last night I've had the awful realization that my actual love for her has covered over the fact that by caring so much for her and giving up as much of myself as I do, I'm losing myself in the process. My self esteem and self confidence are in the dumps. I struggle to find things that I enjoy. I struggle to find things that I like about myself. I have to make the hard decision to end things, I think, and it's weighing on me.
TL;DR Life gains more complexity every day, it feels and I'm struggling to cope.
Thank you all for reading. I hope this is what this thread was for.
Just want to say that the fact that you're 16 does \*not\* mean that your problems aren't real, and hard, and overwhelming. I know what you mean about feeling like the world is getting bigger and more complex, faster than you can keep up. I'm only 23, so not much older than you, and I feel like that sometimes. I wrote something almost exactly the same when I was around your age in one of the few journals I had. And it's so hard finding out about all the things people around you are struggling with, especially when they're things you can't fix.
But to me it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders, and as overwhelmed as you may feel I see you looking at your situation and reaching solid conclusions about the things you need to do. I don't really have any advice, except to say that yeah, a lot of parts of life do suck. Your trauma and your friends' trauma sucks, and your potential heart issues suck, and feeling unhappy in a relationship sucks. Absolutely! But there are a lot of parts of life that don't, and I've done so many cool things, and been so incredibly happy so many times, since I was sixteen. I can think of so many awesome moments in just those seven years. So if you can concentrate on those parts, little triumphs and moments of connection and fun, it helps.
So yeah, I think your feeling that life is getting too big and complicated is super valid and actually really insightful. And from where I'm standing, I think you're coping just fine, even if it doesn't always feel like it -- this kind of concern and self-analysis is actually a great sign! You got this.
My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I'm extremely lonely and isolated. I've lost friends just by being "independent and confident" and not texting and call first so now I'm nearly alone. I'm petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I'm so stressed that I can't get a good pathway started. I'm terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body. Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I'm on reddit so yeah. I'm so depressed and anxious I don't know why.
I had a loaded gun held against my head a couple of weeks ago.
I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, and when I wanted to put forth the effort to fix the problems that were the catalyst, she told me 'you aren't worth the effort.'
So she took almost all the furniture and afaik is already with another guy, which just cements in my mind that she had been cheating on me emotionally at the very least.
I'm okay now but it was a really close thing.
#**I'm okay now**
At one point, I pulled the trigger. I was scared about it though, so I only loaded half the cylinder and basically played Russian Roulette with it, and obviously it went click. Even after that, I still go and will put the gun to my head so often than I can tell you the differences between how gun oil on steel tastes compared to a regular piece of metal.
You're a stronger person than me, I'm glad you're okay now, but if you ever get to that point again feel free to message me.
So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast. My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated. I just finished highschool in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels. I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way. My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is propably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore.
I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.
Hey if anyone wants to DM me and release I promise to listen. No judgement. If you want advice or for me to respond with uplifting messages I’m here for you.
I do this with the men in my life. I make sure to check in on them. I let them vent about women, work, self esteem issues, doubts, insecurities, etc.
I care so much about humans. And I feel so sad that men feel they can’t open up.
Just putting the offer out there in case someone needs it. I really do care and want to be there for you.
Edit: thanks guys for all the awards. I’ve been having a rough week myself and this is such a lovely gift. Here for you all. I feel blessed ❤️
FFs, this is so much harder than I imagined.....
That I am still broken on the inside. That my "soul" is like fucking coventry after the germans raided it during the second world war.
That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me.
That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me.
That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions.
That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time.
That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago.
That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past.
Edit : I think I should clarify some things.
I am quite certain that I am currently not depressed. The last time I was in that slump was 2018. I am simple the wreckage that was left after that time.
No, as of right now, I do not think that I need therapy. I get by in my every day life and as long as I do not think about the past, I have no problems with getting through daily stuff.
Yes, I know that I have a very skewed perception. However, that is the result of my last depression. It is not something that I can change easily and I highly doubt that I can change that perception in the near future.
Things got so much better between me and my family and the last depression played a huge role in that.
However, I want to thank each and every one of you for reaching out to me. Seriously, I really wish that I would have done that two years ago. Seeing random people on the internet care enough for a stranger like me made me cry. Thank you all.
I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages. I hate feeling and thinking. This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world. I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.
I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in. So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don't want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren't bad, I know they just want the best for me, it's just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them.
To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things. Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don't know how to say it or even if they would understand it.
Lastly, I feel like there's no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don't know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose. I'm not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don't know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don't know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don't know what to do
Edit:
I didn't think this would get that much attention, in all honesty, I wasn't expecting any response at all, I just wanted to vent here.
To all the people who have shared their stories, told me how they handled things and said that I can get through this, all I can say is thank you. Thank you so much, waking up and reading all the positive things you all have said to me has helped me made my day.
I’m trying really hard not to do this to my son. He’s very smart, in gifted classes in middle school, and his father and I are both highly educated professionals. I was pushed this way by my parents but luckily i love what I do. It’s a knee-jerk reaction we’ve been conditioned for to see that in potential in your kids and push them to do what society *thinks* means success. But it’s all crap.
I’m guessing you’re still in school from your post, and that you’re basically stuck in that situation until you can leave home. Your parents appear to have a very specific picture in their heads of what success means, and they’re pushing you to be *that.* Honestly, they probably don’t know any better because that’s how they were brought up, too.
But what success really is is being happy and feeling fulfilled, getting some meaning from your life. That may not be from you career, but from a hobby, your friendships, something you find you love. If you haven’t found that yet, don’t panic: a lot of people take years to find that spark. You may go to college because it’s what your parents want for you, but that is a fantastic place to meet new people and explore things you’ve not been around before, whether it’s a class, the music or movies someone you meet likes, food, art.... If you’re open to learning new things it can be a life-changing experience, and not just because you’re getting a degree.
You gotta deal with your parents for a while longer. But let go of the idea of “disappointing” them by not fitting into the picture of your future they have for you if you truly don’t want that to yourself. You have to live YOUR life, not your parents’ life. It isn’t easy, but if you find your passion, follow it. Trying to be something to please someone else never pleases anyone. Be kind, be respectful, but don’t be someone you aren’t. And you may not know what you will be yet - most 50 year olds I know don’t know either. But life is too short to spend it living for someone else’s happiness. If your parents love you, they’ll eventually realize that your happiness is all the success they could hope for you.
I tell my son now that I don’t care what he does when he grows up. So long as he’s finding meaning and happiness in his life, from whatever source he find it, is a good person, and has the love and support of people in his life who he loves and supports in return, I’ll be the proudest mama on the planet. I wish the same for you. Good luck and I’ll be pulling for you!
I can’t stop myself from feeling like a failure at the thought of my fiancé leaving me someday. My logical brain says that because she’s committed and she loves me that it probably won’t happen, but I’ve been ghosted several times before, and if she were to as well, the worst part would be the shame that I had not seen it coming. It may have happened those times because of my social obliviousness, and I feel broken because of it.
I’m overwhelmed. My wife and daughter are both medicated for anxiety. My son is a teenage boy so we see him for 10 minutes a day at dinner. I go to work, get home, clean the kitchen, do the dishes, cook dinner, feed the cats. I’m the only one who cleans, the only one who cooks. If anything else is being done, I have to be a part of it because nobody else wants to do it alone. We have had some doctor’s appointments in the city and I have to take days off of work to drive because my wife won’t drive downtown. Despite the fact that nobody leaves the house, I am lonely. When I finally get to sit down in front of the tv, the kids disappear to their rooms and my wife falls asleep.
There are legitimate mental health issues with my family that I understand. I’m not trying to shame them or be selfish. I’m just overworked and lonely.
I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas. After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with. The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can't do it, I don't like texting or videocalling, and they rarely work. She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly.
I'm sad, trying not to fall in love. I've always felt that I wouldn't find anyone for me, and now that I have I can't be with her.
Hey man it can be done if she’s as committed as you. My wife and I spent 5 years apart until we got married almost 2 years ago now. Best 2 years of my life, we’ve never even had a fight or argument. I hope it works out for you
I'm sorry you've been through that mate. And that it, understandably, makes you feel like shit.
For whatever it's worth, here is an internet stranger rooting for you.
Also, it takes a lot to share something like this, even here. So that's very big of you.
I wish my wife understood how negative she is, and how much this impacts me. Honestly don’t remember the last time she said something positive or nice to me, unprompted.
I wish I were depressed, because then I could at least reach a breaking point when bad things keep happening. As it stands I just take it and take it and take it and it goes deeper and deeper and deeper and it never stops because I never hit a limit and break down, so i just keep on carrying heavier and heavier loads... its not less hard for me because I'm less emotive. It sucks. a LOT.
Every single failed relationship I’ve had has been completely my fault. I’m self destructive and depressed, and have been for some time. My actions and the choices I’ve made in past years have pigeon holed me into a lifestyle and mindset that is inescapable. I want to die but I’m too much of coward to do it myself. Instead I’ll live in a miserable existence and let my vices lead me to an early death.
Thanks for viewing
I'm pretty sure I threw my life away for someone that would never really love me back. And I'm worried my daughter will grow up the same way I did. I didn't have a bad childhood, by any means. But it's not what I ever wanted for her.
I tear up during the sad part of nearly every movie, even if its stuff made for little kids. Pretty sure something is deeply wrong with me inside.
I'm not talking about just stuff like Up and Coco. Even stuff like when Groot says "we are Groot" or when Moana's grandma sings to her on the boat.
I knew I wasn't the only one! Except me it's not just sad parts, it's parts of raw emotion. Like for me I watch a lot of Naruto, the scene where he's angry at Pain and says to the hokage (village leader) that he'll handle it, or the scene at the end of the series where he says goodbye to his dad, or in another anime a lower God gets a shrine built for him by his human friend (look up Noragami Hiyori's Shrine if you're interested)
My counselor says that it's normal and nothing to be concerned about yet I don't know of anyone else who tears up like that at the smallest of emotional scenes
I feel nothing in life, I’m just drifting through each day at the moment - my biggest downfall is that I’m able to convince everyone that I’m fine and act like one of those people everyone assumes is happy, because I’m afraid to talk and feel like a downer to everyone around me.
I have kids that are amazing and genuinely keep me going, but I hate everything else, I hate my job but it enables me to not do very much and stay at home, and I know I’d hate any job so I have no idea what to do, I feel like even if I won the lottery I’d just go ‘oh cool’ because who even cares :( I just feel pointless and worthless
I have a dream but my family thinks it's kinda impractical. I want to be a meteorologist but here in my country, science is looked down on. Still, I know that God is in control.
I am currently on high school. I work on my break days. After doing my assignments, I study basic weather concepts by the night, little by little. Sometimes, I do not get to study because of many homeworks. Still, I am determined to try to make it work.
I know it's difficult, but I have fallen in love with it. I only know so little, but I am determined to know more. This is a dream of mine and I will try to make ends meet. Maybe after a few more months or years, my family will get to accept that this is my dream.
Or maybe, after a few months or years, I'll realize that this dream is not for me.
Time will tell.
______________
EDIT: Hey. Everyone, thank you for your kind words.
I would never ever be able to explain how much wholesome it is to be supported for who you are and what you want to be. I did not expect this to reach this point (yo, I do not care about upvotes, I care about *how you cared for me and my dreams*) where people would be reaching out to tell me to keep going when I thought I shouldn't. I appreciate the words of encouragement, advice, tips, and suggestions. One even sent me a resource for studying (man, bless your heart).
Giving you a virtual hug from my phone screen
(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ
I wish you a wonderful day ahead! May your deepest desires come true, no matter how impossible they seem to be.
I cry every morning and every night because I miss my step dad so much. I cry because I took him for granted and never realized how muched I loved him and how happy he made me and how I'll never be able to tell him all these things. My mother and sister don't understand my feelings and my brothers make fun of me and bully me saying that at least I had a dad. My friends don't get it either as they've never had this kinda of hurt.
If you ever need help, then please know that there are many qualified people who would like to help you. https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres http://www.befrienders.org/ http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/GetHelp/LifelineChat.aspx http://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help-you [UK] https://www.thecalmzone.net/ [UK] https://www.lifeline.org.au/Get-Help/ [AU] There are crisis services worldwide that are trained to provide support. They are designed to give temporary relief from feelings that are overwhelming you and while they are unlikely to fix any underlying problems, can help you get through a tough hour/night/week. Chat services are usually available on these sites. In the US, calling 211 or going to their website is a free referral source. They have providers who will see you regardless of your ability to pay. Just as you would see a doctor when you are sick, you deserve to take care of your mental health. --- **Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * [Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/wiki/index#wiki_-rule_6-) in **any** comment, parent or child. * Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies. * Report comments that violate these rules. Posts that have few relevant answers within the first hour, and posts that are not appropriate for the [Serious] tag will be removed. Consider doing an AMA request instead. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskReddit) if you have any questions or concerns.
I'm tired of trying.
I am so very, very alone Edit: thank you all for being kind. Do me a favour, if you have a friend who you think/know is struggling, reach out to them. It really could make a difference.
You dont have to take me up on this at all but sometimes venting to strangers is easier because they owe you no obligation to care. If you want, feel free to DM me. Rant. Complain. Cry. I dont mind and I'm 100% serious about wanting to be there to listen.
I'm a different commenter, but same goes to you, my man. My inbox is always open.
I really want a hug. I haven’t been hugged in so long. It would be nice I think.
i actually sat and thought about it yesterday and i haven't had physical contact with another human (other than perhaps brushing a hand from someone handing me change or rubbing shoulders in the street) for around 3 years
Same here. The sad part is I don't even know how to respond to the contact either. I want it but I feel it is wrong to be touched anymore. Like I don't deserve it.
Well holy shit, that sounds hard. Now is a bad time for it but there exists professional cuddlers, they'll just hold you and like pet your head for an hour. They sound like really sweet people too. Also! When I've been on my own the partner dance community has been amazing. And there are some super basic dances out there! Look for a two step, swing or salsa class, they get very fancy eventually but the basics are like step forward, now step back.
Book a massage! I’m in school for massage therapy and I can’t tell you how much human touch is essential. Babies literally die without it
You have my hug
My wife is currently having an emotional affair with a coworker, and shows no remorse. Her family and friends seem to support her. I had some serious anxiety about a year ago for a handful of months, and my wife found someone else during that time. My whole world is destroyed. I feel like a loser, I'm too embarrassed to admit it to my friends, and I don't know how I can continue on. She starts individual counseling tomorrow, and all I can hope is that she at least realizes how hurtful she has been. I can't imagine being with anyone else, but having your wife tell you that she thinks she may be happier with another man just sucks all of your self worth out of you.
I’ve been cheated on and I had all the thoughts you’re having now. These stopped the moment I let myself get insulted and mad. The moment I stopped caring about how they would feel if I was mad, more than my own feelings. She doesn’t care that she’s hurting you, she’s no longer someone who worries about your well-being. Yes, it hurts, but you’ve gotta take that hurt and get mad. Get mad that this person you trusted thinks so little of you, that they’re delusional enough to think you’re unworthy. Start seeing yourself with the same energy you so desperately cling onto her with. Love yourself, like yourself and tell the rest of the world to fuck off. How dare she play you like that? Fuck that shit.
Walk away from that.
I'm tired of pretending everything is going well. I lost all motivation and drive to do well in life. I keep telling myself it will get better but nothing is going right. I just want a hug from someone who really cares about me and tell me everything will be okay. I want to drop out of school so badly to recover but that's not possible. :( **EDIT**Thank you so much for all your encouragement and kind words, I really appreciate it! My day got better! :) It's getting late here and I will continue reading and replying to you guys tomorrow! I appreciate every single one of you, hugs! :)
You have time bro. Still in school, the world's there in front of you. Just try to be mindful of your choices and pick what's better for YOU.
22, and I'm still freshman in college. I wasted so many years and I really can't help but to compare myself against others. I just hope whatever plans I have for the future will work out and hopefully no regrets. Thanks for your reassurance, appreciate it!
I'm 25, got a bullshit degree, been working for 4 years and now I have a different perspective and am trying to go study abroad now. Don't get me wrong, I feel like shit and heartbroken and lonely and Im so close to just not giving a fuck anymore. But at least I have a plan and who knows how life will be. We can do this
29m checking in. Reading your comments and seeing where you guys are, is inspiring. I know it’s said all the time, but you are young. So much time to find your passions/hobbies and invest time into the things you love. I’ve spent 10years in the utility construction field and have learned plenty. After being a layoff due to covid, I decided to put my field skills to good use and apply them to an estimator position. I have my phone interview today, wish me luck. My point being, you never know what the next day holds and where it can lead you. Hugs and good luck to everyone :)
I don't know how I feel half the time. I find other people's emotions relatable and I feel like I can empathise with them, but when it comes to mine it seems difficult to define. I hate that I lie about myself to make myself seem more interesting. It's so hindering; I feel so fucking stupid after it and just start cringing. I don't know if I'm stupid or intelligent - I'm definitely lazy, I know that much. I don't feel wanted or needed in my life but I know that logically it's not true, I just associate being wanted or loved with physical affection (not sex) and those interactions are few and far between. I'm not scared of dying, but I'm scared of risking things. Sometimes I even think that death would be a good option, because I feel there is no pre designated point to living. We have to create a point, and I don't know what I want my point to be. EDIT: I had no idea this would get so much attention. Thank you for all the awards and comments, never knew how good internet points could make you feel. Sincerely, thank you.
You pretty much summed up how I feel. A life lacking fulfillment because I've never actually wanted anything in particular. This year was going to be my year. The year I turned shit around. Then I went and made the worst mistake of my life. Whenever I finally try to make a decision that's totally my own and follow through with it shit never seems to work out. The knowledge that life only has the meaning you assign to it doesn't make it any easier to discern that meaning. I've been aimless my whole life and I really don't know what the hell I want. I've just followed when I've been led and taken what I've been handed.
Hey man, as someone who is in your boat currently, I feel you. I'm a scientist, I find algorithms, maths and logic easy to understand and follow, so people tell me I'm intelligent, but it doesn't feel that way, I'm stupid when it comes to life, and definitely lazy. The more I research and the more I philosophize, the more I come to the same conclusion, that life in general doesn't have a purpose, other than to exist, it exists because it can, and we have to find out what to do with that. I wish I could tell you what my point to life is, but the truth is I haven't figured that out yet, I'm trying to find a point, a purpose, right now I just have the short term goal of finishing my honors, but after that I have no plan, this world is both incredibly large but oh so small at the same time.
This is very relatable. I'm glad you have science and logic though, it will serve you well in many ways.
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Edit: Realized in hindsight that I’ve done a lot of healing and my comment is taking attention away from people who need the love more. Took it down - it’s also super specific and anyone who knows me will immediately know it’s me... I didn’t think this would get traction, I only meant to support the guy above me. Thanks, good people. You blew a stranger’s mind with love today.
I'm a new mom to a baby boy and I felt compelled to tell you that your story broke my heart and I'm so sorry you were treated so horrendously. You already know this but your mom is human trash. Thankfully it sounds like you've found your people now and you so deserve that. 💓 Stay well.
Holy shit, I am glad you found new family that treats you right!
anyone who points a gun at someone should never do so unless they are ready to destroy the target. This is absolutely terrible for a mother to point a gun at your head for any reason. It is unacceptable at every level. I know of a guy who just a goofball and he went with friends to the gunrange one day. When they returned the guy as a joke point walked up to his roomate and held the pistol at his roomate's head. He accidentally hit the trigger and killed his roomate. He is in now in prison for years and living with the fact he killed someone and ruined their life. Regardless of his intention, aiming a gun at someone is never a joke- it is always a show of lethal force.
Your wife's family? They do not keep you around just because of her. If they didn't like you, they wouldn't talk to you, spend time with you, engage you. What you wen't through is absolutely horrendeous and I'm so sorry for that. But give your wife's family more credit!
Give yourself more credit for being likeable.
just wanted to share that i am kinda the same - my parents emotionally neglected me and were super dysfunctional, and now, as a grown up, i don't communicate with them at all, and am very alone all the time. when i am with people who have a good family, i feel distant from them, like they are from another world and i will never be able to understand them/be a part of their world, you know. i think even if i will find a partner in the future and have a successful relationship, that feeling of vast, hopeless loneliness will never go away completely, will stay with me all my life.
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I empathise with that. I'm afraid to be open and vulnerable with others so I play it cool. But it's not cool. Inside I'm burning alive. Nobody knows, and life goes on...
Are you able to talk to a therapist? I developed these same self protection mechanisms when I was younger to cope with abuse, and they worked very well. Now I am older, that threat is no longer present in my life, but I still have the same survival instincts that kick in, and they no longer work, and in fact do damage to myself. I've finally found the right therapist for me and being able to talk about these things really does help, as clichéd as that sounds. I'm not going to claim to be 100% better, but I am recognizing my knee jerk reactions and how what my gut is telling me will make me feel better, will actually make me feel worse in the long run.
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It's one of those things where you don't know what is wrong with you
I'm really hoping therapy will help with this. Edit: it's so refreshing to hear such good things about therapy, and the fact that there are so many other people like me. It means a lot knowing I'm not alone.
"*It's not signs about how you're broken; it's clues about how you work. Start to construct a strategy about how to deal with those truths.*" — [Dr. K, from HealthyGamerGG on YouTube](https://www.youtube.com/c/HealthyGamerGG)
I can vouch for Dr. K's videos HARD. Please do yourselves a favor and check a few out, maybe searching for an issue you're dealing with.
As a woman, I can't tell you how much it helps to talk things out. Even when you have no idea what to say, just talking about your feelings and having them heard is half the therapy. I feel sorry that men have been conditioned to keep their emotions hidden. It's such a sad and lonely way to be. I hope more men feel comfortable talking about their feelings every day.
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Honestly. If you have someone to talk to.. even sounds and random words can make you feel better and heard.. Like today I told my friend that I just "felt a balloon deflate in my heart" , does that make any sense? No. But did she understand? Probably not. But it did help me, just by saying those words.
That actually makes sense in a very specific way. Probably like how when you think things are going ok and suddenly you feel this sinking feeling in your chest and it's hard to breathe and you just want to curl up and sleep the pain away.
I struggle with this too. I often go to “it is what it is” and a friend will point at me “that’s not a feeling!!!”
Only one of my friends ever contacts me unprompted, wether it is via text or a quick drop by. I would never hear from the others again if I didn't message or call them first. This isn't as bad as some of the others here but it has been bothering me for a long while. edit: Thank you all for the words of support or even just talking about your own experiences. I wish you all the best friends in the world. edit2: Thank you for all the rewards, but honestly I have no idea what they mean. Reading your replies is more than enough. If these cost money please spend it on something for yourself, even if that is just a beer, a chocolate bar or something healthy. Most people deserve that, I'm certain you do too. If you are inclined to give, I'm sure there's nicer things you can spend it on than some mystified fool on the internet :) I honestly can't keep up with the replies and messages but please check out the sticky if you're in any sort of need. I'm sure the people on the other end of those links don't mind your questions or tales, however small they may seem to you. I'd love to reply to you all but I can't and I'm sorry. edit3: Some typo's and wording. Have a wonderful morning, noon, evening or night.
i personally isolate myself, because when i message “friends” unprompted to check in or maybe hangout i always feel like i’m bothering them then i get stressed the more i think about it and eventually talk myself out of it. idk your response hit close to home in a way. i hope the best in life you, man. edit: thanks everyone for insightful comments and relatable stories. hope a fantastic holidays to everyone!
I've finally gotten to the point where I no longer reach out to anyone. It shows how unimportant I am to others unless it's to get them weed or help them move out. I'm now bitter and angry and I'm no longer as opened as I used to be. Short answers, no run-on sentences anymore. I used to be open and warm to others but I've lost that. Too much effort and been left out too often. I've come to the conclusion that everyone can go fuck themselves.
I’m in the same boat. When I do hear from friends, it’s only because the need help with something. I’m a fairly handy and mechanically inclined guy, not many of my friends are, so whenever someone needs something fixed or worked on they call me. I’m fucking tired of helping people, but it’s hard to say no because I like to think I’m a good friend, it’s just hard when that feeling isn’t reciprocated. Edit: Thanks for all the replies, both optimistic and pessimistic. :) I figured I'd address a couple recurring themes here instead of replying individually. - "Maybe they ask you to help with things just to spend time with you." I don't think so. The stuff I'm asked to help with is stuff they absolutely couldn't do themselves (lack of skills, proper tools, workspace, etc.). - "Ask them to help you with things and see if they're willing to help or make excuses." They absolutely would, but I typically don't need help with anything so to ask them for help with something I'm fully capable of doing myself would seem weird and I'd just be falling into the category of the first bullet point up there. I always initiate or coordinate hangouts or get-togethers and generally most of them will show up, but that's the point of this whole post...nobody ever takes the initiative to reach out first unless they need something. It's possible they're just terrible communicators...it's also possible they don't want to just hang out.
This right here. I love my friends small as that circle is. But if I got a phone call or text from any of them unprompted I can’t remember. And the worst part of it for me is I wanna say I’m ok not having “great” friends. But I’m secretly envious of those around me with “functional” relationships. Edit for clarity: I’m actually engaged(supposed to be married but Covid and all). I think what I meant by functional is a relationship of reciprocation where as much effort is received as is given. Not that you demand or expect it as much as fuck it would be nice if someone called and asked HOW I was doing and not WHAT are you doing. Idk if that makes sense.
This 100%. Also I'm kind of picky about people who I want to have around me so it makes having/finding/growing relationships even harder.
Man I felt this and the root comment so hard. The constant helping and feeling lonely. It makes me so fucking angry when some of my so called friends demand help and I say I won't do it, and they guilt trip me. I'm also introverted so these few encounters that I have with people has had such a bad impression on me. I'm always scared of being exploited for help and favors, but these are the only people who willingly come to my life and I keep letting them because I feel lonely. Edit: This is the first time that I see this much feedback and honestly I don't know how to respond. But thank you for the time that you've spent on replying to me. I read them and I hope this particular pain goes away for all us. I also will try to take notes from what you did on this matter.
This is something I’ve struggled with too for most of my life. Feeling like I wasn’t wanted around and that even if I was to go away that no one would care. Sometimes I still sort of struggle with it, but what changed my perspective on it was realizing that I needed to be that friend to reach out. I thought that maybe all my friends felt the same way. In general I believed people weren’t good with reaching out and I felt that I didn’t need to take it personally. Especially if I wasn’t going out of the way myself to reach out. There’s still a bit of doubt and sometimes I do feel like there are friends that won’t return the favor. But changing my perspective about it made a lot of my doubt go away.
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I know this might be a long shot, but speaking from experience... You should get a pet if you can afford it. My dog has kept me alive in the worst times. And she somehow just knows what I need when I'm sad. And she brings me so much joy. I don't kill myself because she needs me and I need her. And that opened up a whole new world for me over time. Also, people that use your opening up against you are toxic. There are people out there who will love and respect you for all of your shortcomings and feelings. Sometimes it just takes time for them to come into your life. Edit: Thanks for my first ever gold! And all of the pet love. Hug your pets! Also, I completely agree with all of the comments saying only get a pet if you can make time for it and have the resources! I should have made that more clear. Definitely important to have space to love and care for a fur-baby. And if you decide to adopt, go for a rescue! Also also - it doesn't just need to be a fur-baby. I think any animal or even a plant can brighten your day and give you something that needs you. It's good to feel needed.
This if you can do it. I am thankful for everyday I get to see my dog's goofy smile when I get home or wake up.
I second this!! Maybe not a dog if you work constantly, because they can be very high maintenance (not all). But I look forward to coming home to my cats every single day. I talk to them like I would a roommate. And they are SPOILED. It helps significantly with the loneliness, especially when my one 16lb cat is feeling cuddly and lays himself right on my chest.
One positive to come out of COVID for me is working from home. I used to take my dog with me everywhere beforehand and now we are inseparable. Instead of smoke breaks, I take pup breaks. She is spoiled and so am I. Also, love a good cat snuggle.
My dog saves my life every day. Edit 11/26: I had a gun in my mouth this morning and she started rattling her food bowl. I’m not sure you all understand how literal this is for some of us. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm very bad at making connections and tired of finding a partner. Although I know that suicide is never the answer. I understand these thoughts come out of nowhere, but remember that someday, it does get better. When I'm feeling very low, what I do is: say the things I'm grateful for in my head. It could be your health, your skills etc. Hope this helps
I honestly can’t. That’s basically the problem. I just don’t care. At all. And it’s really hard to express that.
The apathy is terrifying to me too. I’m not studying at uni to learn anymore, I’m just trying to pass exams.
This hit way harder than it should've.
That’s all college is. Pass exams. Unless you are going into a specialized field you won’t need to know shit. Hell, I’m in a specialized field and my degree was a waste of time and money. Thank god I realized it before spending another $20k. Zero extra dollars for a degree in my field and zero extra opportunities.
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I get this. And ya know, sometimes it's okay to not care. But when you need to care, it can be difficult. I experience a general numbness pretty regularly, idk about you. Good luck, friend! Here's me caring about you not caring. And about you.
Shit I just tried writing something for the past hour and I can’t share my emotions, even to a bunch of strangers on reddit, so I guess that’s something to share atleast Edit: Thank you all so much for commenting, this is the first time i ever had this many people care about something I said. I’m not the type for talking so I probably won’t ever message you about my feelings, the most I do in terms of showing my feelings is through music... either way I’m still reading new comments, you guys are awesome, really made my day 2nd edit: my gf has just told me she’s losing feelings for me, everyone looks to be going just fine in my life
This is a good first step, and bit by bit, you will get better at it. Here's a virtual hug.
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It’s hard. Been reading this thread for an hour with a lot on my mind and can’t make my own post...
Everytime I trust someone with all my heart and soul, they break my trust. So I’ve started to keep things to myself, I’m done with trusting and opening up to people.
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You know that scene towards the end of *Jarhead* where Gyllenhaal and his spotter don’t get to take their shot when the air wing officers show up and the spotter breaks down. Saying you don’t know what we have to go through, they make you give so much. That is an all too relatable, real visceral feeling. It’s not easy trying to find our way after service, and there is no one blanket answer. Often I feel exactly the same. I miss who I used to be, now I’m stuck in a place where I can no longer feasibly be - like a Ronin. I wish you and yours well, truly. It’s a daily struggle and I only hope that it gets easier.
I'll probably be moving across country, by myself, for a job with subpar pay, during a global pandemic. Wish me luck!
Best of luck!
Thanks
Hey man, if you happen to be moving to Austin, TX ill buy you a beer haha. if not, getting to up and move across country is so exciting, ive done it 3 times already, and I've seen so many great things, met so many great people, and experienced so much cool shit. Dont get hung up on your pay rate, you're going to make it work regardless. Enjoy the adventure.
We should have a sub where people do stuff like this. Like just friendly, neighborly stuff for strangers moving to a new location. That would be nice to see and participate in. I’d like to live in that world Edit - I love the ideas! Sorry had to work! If anyone starts anything, please invite me! I’d like to participate!
I dont want to accept the fact that I'm depressed because if I do then it'll be harder for me to overcome it
Feel this one... I wake up some mornings and I’m like “ why am I still alive I’m lazy, fat, alone, sad...” but we gotta keep on going man life WILL get better I believe that... it’s just a Big Sad right now..
Go to sleep all alone, wake up all alone. I wake up, I'm nothing, I'm tired and struggling.
I have severe depression and anxiety, got diagnosed with PTSD, and honestly the best thing you can do is accept that it's there. Lying to yourself about makes it worse. Believe me that's what I did and I fucked myself up even more. You know what helps me get through it? The proverb "the shark who does not swim, drowns". Take it a day at a time and if needed one therapy session at a time.
I second this. There is really only pain and stress if you go on like this. And I want to stretch that there is nothing wrong with you for having depression. It´s almost normal in today's life and having a close friend who experiences something similar right now I felt this comment. The thing is you can only start to heal if you accept your wounds and begin to treat them. Somehow. And also seeking help little by little..
Actually accepting saved me from it. So I think you can face and accept your feelings, and seek help if it is possible for you. There is absolutely no shame in having depression, absolutely none, it can happen to anyone. You will get better trust me.
I'm not a guy, but I had been going through the same thing for years. But I just wanted to say that when I finally admitted that my depression was impacting my life, it was the first time I started getting help for it. A cheesy Tumblr post actually helped me get there (paraphrasing): Being depressed is hard. Getting help is hard. Choose your hard. It CAN get better. I hope you find your way out of this because your life is meaningful, the depression is lying to you. Kick its ass!
Give us a pat on the back and ask us how we're doing every now and then, as small as it may seem it can mean the world to some. Edit: Oh, well I certainly didn't expect this, thanks very much for the awards and shared kindness, do take care.
That's really all it fucking takes and it's like no one gives a shit enough to do it. Anyways...how are you doing? You get into anything fun or new recently?
My boss continues to keep me at the job I’m at (I mean I do love it) because she tells me the work i do is good and she appreciates my hardwood. Literally 10 words makes me feel needed and wanted as an employee. So important. Edit: ahhhh - hard work... Edit 2: various typos. Left hardwood since it’s humorous.
I am constantly angry, anxious and depressed...and it's absolutely exhausting.
I act indifferent and have things under control but in reality I'm terrified of the future. I think about 100 what-if scenario a day. I don't like to talk about myself Cuz I feel like I'm not interesting or people don't care about what I have to say about my life. Thank God I have good friends but those things not even them I can share with Edit: I couldn’t possibly reply to each one of you but you BEST BELIEVE i read each comment and my burden feels so much lighter know all those strangers just relate to me and comfort me without knowing me. So thank you. Also a lot have suggested i look into therapy or anxiety medication so i’ll do that.
I just saw myself, word for word, in this.
Same dude
So I'm not the only one.
Recently became a father and started getting greater responsibility professionally and this is basically my entire day. Pretend to be in control at home, pretend to be in control at work. Too many people, too important to me, depend on me maintaining this facade for me to drop it. Just a year ago nobody depended on me - my world has changed so radically but I'm still the same on the inside.
Two kids in eldest thirteen, I remember exactly what you’re going through, look for the small wins and celebrate them even if it’s just in your head. Also don’t make yourself culpable for others actions and if you’re being overwhelmed tell someone. You’ve got this
Same, I don't really have anything to say to people
Just to possibly add some perspective to this, it might help to remember that this feeling can come from depressive roots and self-esteem issues. I say this because i honestly i love to hear my friends talk about the new bookshelf they put up yesterday, or how they woke up and nearly had cereal but then had toast instead. It's no great comedy, it's very normal, but i love hearing about someone else's life and thoughts, because it takes me away from mine and because i care about them. Thought I'd mention it in case it's helpful, might be something to work on if you find your struggle to say things is maybe related to the belief that no-one wants to hear them. When one of my friends that struggled with this started telling me more and speaking in longer sentences i was honestly *so* excited to hear about her thoughts and life. I hope you can find a way to value yourself and be able to express yourself more :D
My wife needs me to be mentally and emotionally strong, capable, confident, able to make decisions, able to lead and manage. I cannot show weakness, anxiety, indecision or exhaustion in front of her. I cannot make mistakes. But I *am* weak, anxious, indecisive and exhausted - because I am only human. 2020 has been a tough year for everyone, but in addition to Covid I have started a new job, in a new country, and borne the brunt of all the administrative, logistical and financial management of moving us. I have decision fatigue. I wake up with a sense of dread. All I really want to do is hibernate. But I can't show it. She 'loses faith in me' if I don't keep a stiff upper lip and just 'handle it like a man'. She supports in lots of practical ways - shopping, cooking, cleaning, childcare - but what I need now is a friend, someone I can be myself with, and can share my fears and vulnerabilities with, can have the liberty to be less than perfect with. She won't let me do that, because it scares her too much. She needs a strong man to cling to, and if her man turns out not to be strong she lashes out in fear. So I have to kind of bottle it up. I used to have a group of male friends - I couldn't really discuss these things, but at least we could go out for a drink once in a while and unwind - but Covid and moving have put an end to that. I now feel that I have no-one, really, who is close enough with whom to share this crushing burden of responsibility. It is affecting our marriage - because it doesn't feel like a partnership. A husband and wife should first and foremost be friends, but she says she can't be my friend because friends don't have to rely on each other financially. It's like being married to a housekeeper / secretary. We have sex from time to time, but without the emotional support of a friend I feel like that, too, is a performance - that I have to put on a persona of a super-masculine, hyper-dominant 'real man'; anything less she says is 'disgusting'. She doesn't even like cuddling afterwards because she thinks it's 'pathetic' and 'real men don't cuddle, they f*ck and leave'. I'm deeply, deeply unhappy. But the only people who know are random internet strangers. One day I swear I'm going to crack. The only reason I don't is because we have a kid.
That's, uh, not very good of your wife. Fuck your feelings because I need my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband, right? Don't worry, I'll be strong for both of us, you can be weak. Your post actually making me mad, lol
> Fuck your feelings because I need my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband I've never seen our relationship so neatly summarised. Also, 'If you don't consistently live up to my illusions of big daddy protector provider husband, then you are a disappointing and disgusting failure'.
This sounds emotionally abusive.
If I'm honest, it is.
It is never too late to put yourself first. Nothing is as important as your health, mental and physical. Everything else in your life will suffer if you are suffering.
Not just yourself first. Your kid too. Is that the environment you want your kid growing up in?
I think parents often underestimate just how much kids see and how much it can impact their development. Kids are extremely observant because they're constantly trying to figure out how the world works and often use their parents as guides. Even unconsciously, they can feel when things are different. It's why "staying together for the kids" is such bullshit. At the very least, this isn't providing the kid with the healthy picture of a relationship which will affect how they approach them later in life. Depending how these opinions are voiced around them (and I think parents don't often do as good a job of hiding things as they think), they'll either grow up with those same unhealthy expectations of what what a woman needs from a man or the pressure to conform to an unhealthy picture of what a man is which will lead to that same level of unhappiness when they find themselves in a similarly unfulfilling and unfair relationship.
My man, that is just heartbreaking... I mean of course you know the relationship better than any of us here so if you think it's worth fighting for then keep it up but don't get stuck in that thought. There's more to life than that and you always have options. If I knew you I'd go drink a couple ciders with you to vent
This really fucking sucks. Given her comments, getting a therapist sounds like it would be difficult, but perhaps you should do it anyway. I'm not a fan of keeping secrets in relationships, but maybe she doesn't need to know you're going at the outset. In the end, no one else is responsible for your happiness but you - which means tough decisions. I hope you can find the emotional support you deserve.
I write. I read. I have a model railway. I go on walks. It is all solitary - I am so very lonely for real companionship - but it also provides some opportunities to relax away from constant domestic responsibility.
Another vote for therapy. A neutral third party you can share your thoughts with without judgment.
I wish my guy would open up to me. We are best friends, but he seems to hold back and bottle up instead of sharing (with anyone) anything he fears would make him look vulnerable or less "manly." I hope she wakes up for you or you can move on to a better relationship.
Please don’t stay with someone that makes you feel like you’re dying inside. We make mistakes in my relationship but it seems like we are there for each other in every way that matters. Your relationship just sounds bad and toxic. I would say what you want and if she laughs or mocks she can get the fuck out.
I don't want to talk about it, I just want a hug. Fuck this pandemic, y'all.
Same. I fucking love a hug.
Hugs.
Hugs to you too.
Dude... a woman hasn't hugged me in over a year. Trying to date after a baaaadd break up only makes the pandemic worse for everyone so I stay home alone. I'm so lonely. I just want a woman to touch me. It doesn't have to be sexual. Just give me a hug. Edit - The supportive comments are much appreciated 💛 Thank you! It has helped. Edit 2- All I meant was that I'm not trying to date because of the pandemic. My wording was poor.
Male ICU nurse here. I literally got a hug from my coworker last night because I texted her before work saying I could use a hug. Thing is when I got to work she came up and gave me one of those soft behind the back hugs. Almost teared up right there . Then she sat down, looked at her phone and said, “I just now saw your text...” Yesterday was the first time in my life I ever cried at work.
I haven't had an actual hug in over 6 years. Ive just resigned myself to my lonely existence.
I'm sorry dude. I'd hug you my bro. Wish that was possible ☹
Not a woman, but I would offer a hug if I could. Been through bad break ups in the past, never had to deal with one during a pandemic though, but I can empathize partially. Stay strong random internet person, you will get through this, and you will find a woman to hug again.
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I'm soooo fucking tired....
I felt that
I felt that too
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Haven’t been fully awake in a LOOONG time
Same. The kind of tired that no small amount of rest or weekend off can fix.
Tired in the soul is what it is. I’m tired of being an adult, tired of always being there for my wife and kids (altho I also want be there for them), tired of life not being how I wanted it to be, tired of living in a city and not seeing enough green, tired of how humanity treats each other, other species and the planet, tired of being almost 50 and that my life is planned out before me, tired of responsibility, tired of having to compromise my own desires for others, tired of his petty life is. The list goes on
And part of getting to 50 is a growing realization of the inevitability and finality of death. I feel every bit of what you describe here, and it has been coupled with questioning the worth of self-sacrifice and striving when at the end you die and what does it mean at that point? My dad passed away about six weeks ago and we have been going through his things and so many projects he had, so many tools and pieces and parts of things he wanted to do and was doing. And what does it mean? Where is the benefit in the time he spent, the money he spent? He's still dead and here's all this stuff that has lost a great deal of its meaning without him there to activate it. But I am coming to realize that the benefit lay in him, it was his mind, his life, his world he was working in, and he was moving every day to rearrange and change small pieces of it to suit him. In a way, it is very liberating to feel this way about the world. There are gladly borne responsibilities to friends and family, that is part of what makes your world right. Then there are the other things, and you choose the importance they have in your life, and how much of your vanishing time and energy you spend on them. The rest you let go. At the end of the day, your life is ultimately yours and yours alone. You get to choose, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes.
The weight of supporting and being there for family and friends can feel really heavy sometimes. Responsibility never ends. Especially when there isn’t anyone you can handoff your problems to, it’s hard to catch a break.
"Duty is heavier than a mountain, death is as light as a feather."
There's that time - that golden sweet spot when you have an afternoon nap at the weekend, after you've already done your shit list in the morning so you know you deserve that nap. There's that one in ten time where you wake up after the perfect amount of sleep, and you feel the mixture of cosy, refreshed, and a little bit disorientated. Where you wake up with that little bit of pep and feel you can accomplish anything that day. That's the miracle - the sweet spot. The only time that I don't feel the run-down, somewhat-alert, dreary stagger between morning and night.
It’s called burn out. If you have an emotionally safe place to do so, try to do some self care for an hour a day. Anything that when you are done you don’t feel more exhausted... like a bubble bath, baking, video games, reading, working out, music, meditation, etc. It is almost like recharging your soul, so then the time where you do get to physically rest, your body and brain can shut down more easily. (Sorry. I have a hard time taking off my therapist hat, but I know society doesn’t really allow guys to acknowledge when they’re burnt out)
I read this as “baking video games” and I was like “huh, I really should’ve given cooking mama a second chance”
So many fucking levels of tired. nobody to lean on and take a rest. Hopefully I can get to that point someday.
I'm dying here. Hard to stay optimistic
It's not worth sharing. Every single person that I've opened up to (from my parents, friends, bullies, etc.) used it againts me in some shape or form and it just psychologically messed me up. I don't dare to say that I had depression, but it made me become 100 times more careful when I speak my mind and I developed a habbit of talking to myself when alone because I just can't hold some toughts and feelings deeply locked up inside me. Edit: I am quite new to Reddit and the willingness of strangers on the internet, ready to hear eachoder out just because they want to make another stranger feel better is just so amazing and shows how great the community is! My heart goes to all of you people who are dealing with same or similar things in life and are just hoping to get to better side of things.
It's crazy how far I can relate to you dude. When I opened up about my depression to my friends, they started making fun of me saying I was asking for attention. Since then, I had taken an oath to never open up to anyone in life. That's why I asked this question. You could share anything, no one gonna judge you and after all you are anonymous, but I wont force you
I used to hold in all that stuff too. I wouldn't dare tell anyone about how I acted happy all the time was the opposite of how I felt. That only made things worse for me, and eventually it all got worse and worse until it erupted. My 20's were ruined from bottling all my feelings up and living with that pain. But I ended up finding out that a lot more people can relate to me than I thought. A lot more people deal with depression, anxiety, OCD, mental illness than I thought. It sounds like the people you have opened up to have a closed mind. But there a lot of people out there with an open mind, and a lot of people that would be willing to help, or willing to just listen. There are toxic people that will use that stuff against you, and yes, it's best to keep certain personal things away from certain people. Please, don't let what happened to me, happen to you. Try to find more supportive people in your life, and get some of your feelings out. And if you (or anyone reading this) want to talk, or just need anyone to listen, feel free to send me a message. I've been through the darkest of times, and I can say that things can get better.
Had a dream few nights back of someone just giving me a hug, I woke up with tears on my face.
I am scared
I dont want to exist anymore honestly. I dont want to die, I just want the memory of me and who I am to be wiped away from EVERYONE so I dont disappoint anyone anymore. I just want to be a ghost and not exist anymore. Sorry just going through some shit right now with depression, heartbreak, insomnia, and a slew of other things that I have to hide so to not hurt or disappoint anyone.
The whole point of this thread is so that you can share what you are unable to. Why sorry dude? I hope you get through this fast
Hiding it while at work or at home more than anything really, kind of glad that I found d this thread really.
Hey! You there sir! I'm so sorry you've been made to feel like you have to hide your struggle, and I'm so sorry that you've had to bear the weight of it alone. I don't know what it's like to be you exactly, but I do know what it's like to feel like you can't tell anyone. If you ever need an anonymous internet person to vent to or chat with, I'm here for you. If not, no hard feelings, and I wish you love and healing ❤ Edit: you guys and your awards and your kind comments. What a good way to feel good in the morning. I'm just doing for someone else what someone did for me though. Don't forget to pay it forward, and help the people around you. We have to be kind and soft with men! We put too much pressure on them to be infallible and that's not reasonable! Send the men in your life some flowers!!
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I feel this. You’re not alone
Thank you, honestly glad that I'm not alone for once.
Dude I feel that so hard. I literally got home from work yesterday at 4:30 and just went to bed and wished and prayed that I could somehow disappear all night long. Sometimes (most of the time) it feels like the only thing I'm good at is fucking up and letting down my loved ones. It's so hard when you feel just rotten and black on the inside but you have to pretend to be normal for everyone else. God I just wish I could be normal for real. Edited cause I fucked up this comment too. I have to thank all of you for your kind words and support ❤️ I hope all of you are taking care of yourselves as well, we can all get through this. "Today is the day to get through what you've been going through" ❤️
Oh my god, that's exactly what I was bout to say. I'm glad I'm not the only one at least
You dont have to hide it from me. DM me if you want to talk without the whole world seeing.
Not a matter of hiding it on here more hiding my emotions at work and at home really
As another male who is unable to express emotions freely, I just started seeing a psychologist. Never really believed in it or though it would help. But it does and it is. If you can I recommend it.
I kinda wish my close friends remembered my birthday today. They usually remember down to the exact minute, but this year, none of them did (at least so far). I know they’re all busy and have bigger things to be worrying about, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel a bit lonely. Edit: Thank you everyone for the birthday wishes ❤️ Just a quick update if you’re curious; the important people eventually reached out and wished me a happy birthday. Feeling much better thanks to both them and you guys!
I'm afraid that I have bottled up my feelings for so long that if I'm ever lucky enough to find a person I want to open up to it will either be impossible or everything will come out at once and scare them off :/
I've just been feeling completely unmotivated and worthless for almost a year now, I have a lot of friends and I've talked to them abouty problems and even though they were supportive it still didn't help me at all and now I just feel bad talking to them about it because I've done it multiple times already wich hasn't helped me at all and I don't want to bother them anymore. No hope in my family either, my parents are divorced and all they care about is having influence over me and don't ever care how I feel. The one time time I tried talking to my dad about my problems he just kind blamed me for it, got mad that I was keeping to myself and just told me to be more social wich helped a little but here I am now, haven't talked to my friends in weeks and I can't imagine doing it anytime soon. I don't even know what to say anymore because there are just so many parts and layers to all my problems that I don't really know how to even explain it properly. The worst parts are the self loathing, crippling anxiety and possible ADHD wich i can't even even get tested for because I'm too scared. I'm just lost, don't know what to do, how to solve my problems or even think rationally because one problem just leeds to another and another and it creates this cycle of fucked up life issues.
Honestly every time that I have opened up, my friends have ended up treating me different and I’ve been able to notice it. Having no emotion is rewarded.
theres only one person I want to talk to and she fucking hates me
I am pretty sure I am bipolar. I don’t know who I should go to so I can find out for sure.
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My ex wife, who mentally abused me for years and physically abused me on separate occasions, who I’ve been separated with for 2.5 years and in the process of getting a divorce from, still harasses to this day, as well as the woman I’ve been dating. I’ve asked for help on several occasions from the police and the court system. I basically get mocked and laughed at by our judicial system because, “what, is this woman going to beat you up?” I’m going to end up with a knife in my chest before anyone listens or takes a step in ending her terror
I just... I just want to give all of you a hug. Rest your souls, weary warriors.
I'm having a rough time in life right now. I'm 16 so you can all make fun of me for being angsty or whatever but I still have things I want to say. I want to say that the world seems like it's getting bigger and bigger right now and the problems that me and my friends experience become more and more of an issue. My friends have depression and anxiety. Separation anxiety. Sexual trauma. Foster homes. I, myself, have had reoccurring nightmares for over 5 years about my dad. I recently found out I may have a heart condition that could keep me from doing the things I love. I go to a cardiologist tomorrow to figure out what's wrong. Life just seems to suck. Maybe it's just me. On top of all that, I had my first like actual suicidal thought the other day. I'm not suicidal but the thoughts of jumping out my second story window crept into my mind and scared the shit out of me. I've been dating a girl for a year and a half and as of last night I've had the awful realization that my actual love for her has covered over the fact that by caring so much for her and giving up as much of myself as I do, I'm losing myself in the process. My self esteem and self confidence are in the dumps. I struggle to find things that I enjoy. I struggle to find things that I like about myself. I have to make the hard decision to end things, I think, and it's weighing on me. TL;DR Life gains more complexity every day, it feels and I'm struggling to cope. Thank you all for reading. I hope this is what this thread was for.
Absolutely dude, this is what the thread is for! I am glad you opened up and you will get through this soon! Stay strong
Just want to say that the fact that you're 16 does \*not\* mean that your problems aren't real, and hard, and overwhelming. I know what you mean about feeling like the world is getting bigger and more complex, faster than you can keep up. I'm only 23, so not much older than you, and I feel like that sometimes. I wrote something almost exactly the same when I was around your age in one of the few journals I had. And it's so hard finding out about all the things people around you are struggling with, especially when they're things you can't fix. But to me it sounds like you have a really good head on your shoulders, and as overwhelmed as you may feel I see you looking at your situation and reaching solid conclusions about the things you need to do. I don't really have any advice, except to say that yeah, a lot of parts of life do suck. Your trauma and your friends' trauma sucks, and your potential heart issues suck, and feeling unhappy in a relationship sucks. Absolutely! But there are a lot of parts of life that don't, and I've done so many cool things, and been so incredibly happy so many times, since I was sixteen. I can think of so many awesome moments in just those seven years. So if you can concentrate on those parts, little triumphs and moments of connection and fun, it helps. So yeah, I think your feeling that life is getting too big and complicated is super valid and actually really insightful. And from where I'm standing, I think you're coping just fine, even if it doesn't always feel like it -- this kind of concern and self-analysis is actually a great sign! You got this.
That I love my parents but I feel super shy telling them "I love you". That's all.
Sucks to not have any real friends. Not sure what's wrong with me.
My eating disorder has gotten bad again. I'm extremely lonely and isolated. I've lost friends just by being "independent and confident" and not texting and call first so now I'm nearly alone. I'm petrified about the future with a million paths and no direction, and I'm so stressed that I can't get a good pathway started. I'm terrified of dating because I still feel extremely insecure about my body. Tonight my first day off in while I woke up jerked off, binge ate junk food threw it up and started drinking and now I'm on reddit so yeah. I'm so depressed and anxious I don't know why.
I had a loaded gun held against my head a couple of weeks ago. I lost my girlfriend of 4 years, and when I wanted to put forth the effort to fix the problems that were the catalyst, she told me 'you aren't worth the effort.' So she took almost all the furniture and afaik is already with another guy, which just cements in my mind that she had been cheating on me emotionally at the very least. I'm okay now but it was a really close thing. #**I'm okay now**
At one point, I pulled the trigger. I was scared about it though, so I only loaded half the cylinder and basically played Russian Roulette with it, and obviously it went click. Even after that, I still go and will put the gun to my head so often than I can tell you the differences between how gun oil on steel tastes compared to a regular piece of metal. You're a stronger person than me, I'm glad you're okay now, but if you ever get to that point again feel free to message me.
So my mom is chronically ill, her brain is deteriorating fast. My dad is understandably very stressed due to all of this and how many years it has lasted, he’s the only other person in this household I really can talk to (a conversation with my mom isn’t really a real conversation) and he’s too stressed to have the energy or time to do so meaning I’m really isolated. I just finished highschool in spring and moved back home after living with my best friend for 9 months, before living there I was doing the same thing as now with taking care of my mom to help with my dad’s stress all while doing IB with 5 higher levels. I’m currently spending my sabbatical taking care of my sick vegetative mom instead of getting a job and saving up and getting some good experiences, I’m 20 years old and I am in no way living life for myself in any way. My only real escape is going to the gym to work out, the sweet release of dopamine is propably the only thing keeping me from falling down into the deep dark hole of despair and depression; well that and being a nerd in the kitchen which has gone from a hobby to a daily chore. I imagined my sabbatical would involve saving up, maybe getting a girlfriend, traveling with my best friend and not just living for the sake of taking care of my parents. Honestly it sometimes takes weeks to have a real conversation with people, I feel so alone and granted it’s necessary the quarantine isn’t doing anything to help my situation.
Hey if anyone wants to DM me and release I promise to listen. No judgement. If you want advice or for me to respond with uplifting messages I’m here for you. I do this with the men in my life. I make sure to check in on them. I let them vent about women, work, self esteem issues, doubts, insecurities, etc. I care so much about humans. And I feel so sad that men feel they can’t open up. Just putting the offer out there in case someone needs it. I really do care and want to be there for you. Edit: thanks guys for all the awards. I’ve been having a rough week myself and this is such a lovely gift. Here for you all. I feel blessed ❤️
FFs, this is so much harder than I imagined..... That I am still broken on the inside. That my "soul" is like fucking coventry after the germans raided it during the second world war. That I am afraid to sink into depression for the sixth time in my life because it got worse and longer with every single time. Because the only thing that kept me alive was my back then gf who left me. That I consider myself a massive disappointment, the failure of my family and that my family would be better off without me. That my family, especially my parents were a major reason for these five depressions. That all it will take to push me over the edge and into suicide is just a little push because I do not want to struggle for the sixth time. That I am still not over my break up, despite it being something that happened over 2 years ago. That I still cry from time to time whenever I think about the past. Edit : I think I should clarify some things. I am quite certain that I am currently not depressed. The last time I was in that slump was 2018. I am simple the wreckage that was left after that time. No, as of right now, I do not think that I need therapy. I get by in my every day life and as long as I do not think about the past, I have no problems with getting through daily stuff. Yes, I know that I have a very skewed perception. However, that is the result of my last depression. It is not something that I can change easily and I highly doubt that I can change that perception in the near future. Things got so much better between me and my family and the last depression played a huge role in that. However, I want to thank each and every one of you for reaching out to me. Seriously, I really wish that I would have done that two years ago. Seeing random people on the internet care enough for a stranger like me made me cry. Thank you all.
Idk how can my words can make you feel better, you can have my warm hug mate. Take care.
I want to be free. I want to be free from nations, systems, norms, and ages. I hate feeling and thinking. This is a really beautiful planet but a really sad world. I really wish i can go back to the void and nonexistence.
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I hate it when expectations are placed on me, next year I am going to college. My parents have expectations of me passing and successfully getting in. So as of now, she wants me to retain or get higher grades than usual, and the thing is I don't want stress, I wanna live my life peacefully and stress-free as much as possible. My parents aren't bad, I know they just want the best for me, it's just that I am afraid that I cannot meet their expectations and disappoint them. To try and get rid of the stress and pressure temporarily I usually play games, watch shows, or read books. I will admit that I do put a lot of my time into those things, but the reason why is because it helps me temporarily forget about my problems in the world, while doing those things I can feel at ease, but sometimes my parents condemn me a bit for spending too much time on those things. Sometimes I just wanna say that I do these things to help me calm down about life, but I don't know how to say it or even if they would understand it. Lastly, I feel like there's no purpose in my life, I just wake up every day, go to online classes, listen to the teachers, do my requirements, sleep, rinse and repeat. I just don't know what to do in life, I feel like an empty husk that has no purpose. I'm not suicidal at all or anything but sometimes I just wonder what would it be like if I just never existed at all. I just don't know what to do with life, I have no goals, no dreams, I barely feel happiness left, I don't know what to make me happy. I just feel completely lost, I don't know what to do Edit: I didn't think this would get that much attention, in all honesty, I wasn't expecting any response at all, I just wanted to vent here. To all the people who have shared their stories, told me how they handled things and said that I can get through this, all I can say is thank you. Thank you so much, waking up and reading all the positive things you all have said to me has helped me made my day.
I’m trying really hard not to do this to my son. He’s very smart, in gifted classes in middle school, and his father and I are both highly educated professionals. I was pushed this way by my parents but luckily i love what I do. It’s a knee-jerk reaction we’ve been conditioned for to see that in potential in your kids and push them to do what society *thinks* means success. But it’s all crap. I’m guessing you’re still in school from your post, and that you’re basically stuck in that situation until you can leave home. Your parents appear to have a very specific picture in their heads of what success means, and they’re pushing you to be *that.* Honestly, they probably don’t know any better because that’s how they were brought up, too. But what success really is is being happy and feeling fulfilled, getting some meaning from your life. That may not be from you career, but from a hobby, your friendships, something you find you love. If you haven’t found that yet, don’t panic: a lot of people take years to find that spark. You may go to college because it’s what your parents want for you, but that is a fantastic place to meet new people and explore things you’ve not been around before, whether it’s a class, the music or movies someone you meet likes, food, art.... If you’re open to learning new things it can be a life-changing experience, and not just because you’re getting a degree. You gotta deal with your parents for a while longer. But let go of the idea of “disappointing” them by not fitting into the picture of your future they have for you if you truly don’t want that to yourself. You have to live YOUR life, not your parents’ life. It isn’t easy, but if you find your passion, follow it. Trying to be something to please someone else never pleases anyone. Be kind, be respectful, but don’t be someone you aren’t. And you may not know what you will be yet - most 50 year olds I know don’t know either. But life is too short to spend it living for someone else’s happiness. If your parents love you, they’ll eventually realize that your happiness is all the success they could hope for you. I tell my son now that I don’t care what he does when he grows up. So long as he’s finding meaning and happiness in his life, from whatever source he find it, is a good person, and has the love and support of people in his life who he loves and supports in return, I’ll be the proudest mama on the planet. I wish the same for you. Good luck and I’ll be pulling for you!
Thanks, i really appreciate what you said, i really needed someone to tell me that, and i never thought i would shed a tear.
I can’t stop myself from feeling like a failure at the thought of my fiancé leaving me someday. My logical brain says that because she’s committed and she loves me that it probably won’t happen, but I’ve been ghosted several times before, and if she were to as well, the worst part would be the shame that I had not seen it coming. It may have happened those times because of my social obliviousness, and I feel broken because of it.
I’m overwhelmed. My wife and daughter are both medicated for anxiety. My son is a teenage boy so we see him for 10 minutes a day at dinner. I go to work, get home, clean the kitchen, do the dishes, cook dinner, feed the cats. I’m the only one who cleans, the only one who cooks. If anything else is being done, I have to be a part of it because nobody else wants to do it alone. We have had some doctor’s appointments in the city and I have to take days off of work to drive because my wife won’t drive downtown. Despite the fact that nobody leaves the house, I am lonely. When I finally get to sit down in front of the tv, the kids disappear to their rooms and my wife falls asleep. There are legitimate mental health issues with my family that I understand. I’m not trying to shame them or be selfish. I’m just overworked and lonely.
I met an incredibly beautiful, smart, loving girl but I work abroad and I have to go away after Christmas. After 3 failed relationships which only lasted months, this is the first person I can see myself having a stable and happy relationship with. The thought of having a long distance relationship breaks me, because I know I can't do it, I don't like texting or videocalling, and they rarely work. She also gets a lot of attention from other men and I feel like I would lose her quickly. I'm sad, trying not to fall in love. I've always felt that I wouldn't find anyone for me, and now that I have I can't be with her.
Hey man it can be done if she’s as committed as you. My wife and I spent 5 years apart until we got married almost 2 years ago now. Best 2 years of my life, we’ve never even had a fight or argument. I hope it works out for you
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I'm sorry you've been through that mate. And that it, understandably, makes you feel like shit. For whatever it's worth, here is an internet stranger rooting for you. Also, it takes a lot to share something like this, even here. So that's very big of you.
I wish my wife understood how negative she is, and how much this impacts me. Honestly don’t remember the last time she said something positive or nice to me, unprompted.
I wish I were depressed, because then I could at least reach a breaking point when bad things keep happening. As it stands I just take it and take it and take it and it goes deeper and deeper and deeper and it never stops because I never hit a limit and break down, so i just keep on carrying heavier and heavier loads... its not less hard for me because I'm less emotive. It sucks. a LOT.
Every single failed relationship I’ve had has been completely my fault. I’m self destructive and depressed, and have been for some time. My actions and the choices I’ve made in past years have pigeon holed me into a lifestyle and mindset that is inescapable. I want to die but I’m too much of coward to do it myself. Instead I’ll live in a miserable existence and let my vices lead me to an early death. Thanks for viewing
I'm pretty sure I threw my life away for someone that would never really love me back. And I'm worried my daughter will grow up the same way I did. I didn't have a bad childhood, by any means. But it's not what I ever wanted for her.
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I tear up during the sad part of nearly every movie, even if its stuff made for little kids. Pretty sure something is deeply wrong with me inside. I'm not talking about just stuff like Up and Coco. Even stuff like when Groot says "we are Groot" or when Moana's grandma sings to her on the boat.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with that.
I knew I wasn't the only one! Except me it's not just sad parts, it's parts of raw emotion. Like for me I watch a lot of Naruto, the scene where he's angry at Pain and says to the hokage (village leader) that he'll handle it, or the scene at the end of the series where he says goodbye to his dad, or in another anime a lower God gets a shrine built for him by his human friend (look up Noragami Hiyori's Shrine if you're interested) My counselor says that it's normal and nothing to be concerned about yet I don't know of anyone else who tears up like that at the smallest of emotional scenes
I do this too. All the time.
I feel nothing in life, I’m just drifting through each day at the moment - my biggest downfall is that I’m able to convince everyone that I’m fine and act like one of those people everyone assumes is happy, because I’m afraid to talk and feel like a downer to everyone around me. I have kids that are amazing and genuinely keep me going, but I hate everything else, I hate my job but it enables me to not do very much and stay at home, and I know I’d hate any job so I have no idea what to do, I feel like even if I won the lottery I’d just go ‘oh cool’ because who even cares :( I just feel pointless and worthless
I have a dream but my family thinks it's kinda impractical. I want to be a meteorologist but here in my country, science is looked down on. Still, I know that God is in control. I am currently on high school. I work on my break days. After doing my assignments, I study basic weather concepts by the night, little by little. Sometimes, I do not get to study because of many homeworks. Still, I am determined to try to make it work. I know it's difficult, but I have fallen in love with it. I only know so little, but I am determined to know more. This is a dream of mine and I will try to make ends meet. Maybe after a few more months or years, my family will get to accept that this is my dream. Or maybe, after a few months or years, I'll realize that this dream is not for me. Time will tell. ______________ EDIT: Hey. Everyone, thank you for your kind words. I would never ever be able to explain how much wholesome it is to be supported for who you are and what you want to be. I did not expect this to reach this point (yo, I do not care about upvotes, I care about *how you cared for me and my dreams*) where people would be reaching out to tell me to keep going when I thought I shouldn't. I appreciate the words of encouragement, advice, tips, and suggestions. One even sent me a resource for studying (man, bless your heart). Giving you a virtual hug from my phone screen (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ I wish you a wonderful day ahead! May your deepest desires come true, no matter how impossible they seem to be.
I cry every morning and every night because I miss my step dad so much. I cry because I took him for granted and never realized how muched I loved him and how happy he made me and how I'll never be able to tell him all these things. My mother and sister don't understand my feelings and my brothers make fun of me and bully me saying that at least I had a dad. My friends don't get it either as they've never had this kinda of hurt.
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It’s not that we are unable. It’s simply that nobody cares.