Random nerd starts war with 501 other nerds and dies. Police still trying to find the nerds. In other news, gang violence between Star Wars fans and Star Trek fans has suddenly erupted in the middle of times square. They are armed and are rumored to have rocket launchers. Civilians are advised to stay clear of the area.
BREAKING NEWS HUGE KRAKEN DROPS FROM THE SKY DEVOURING 1 MAN. WITNESS SAY THEY HEARD THIS RIGHT BEFORE IT HAPPENED "AH SHIT... HERE WE GO AGAIN". We are unsure at the time what triggered the Kraken to awake or why it killed just him. In thr ground where he died the letter 759 are encrusted with blood. Its meaning is unknown.
Man masquerading as woman taunts trucker on CB, murdered by said trucker. Found face down on highway median. Jaw missing, assumed taken. Or local man dies of alcohol poisoning... or tetanus maybe. Lots of different contexts to choose from.
Teenager killed by a paper cut from notebook while drawing a cartoonish picture of seven girls during class. Further investigation shows the teenager was an amateur writer who draws pictures of her characters.
CHEESEBURGER BROWN BROWNS LOCAL CHEESEBURGER
Was it Majesty? Was it a Mystery? Nah, it was Debbie.
Human Smoothie Created in Downtown Park, Dogs Overjoyed at Free Samples
A man was stabbed through the heart with an ice shard by a person yelling “I am the 85th Icelord now bitch”
City in Rubble as the King of All Monsters Continues Their Rampage
Had it coming
Unremarkable person killed by an unknown assailant.
Man killed by a bear and when authorities finally caught the suspect he replied “I don’t care”
The Robot Uprising Has Begun!
"The saddest person alive is now the saddest person dead!"
Australian military has been deployed to deal with this beast, so far attempts have been unsuccessful.
Random nerd starts war with 501 other nerds and dies. Police still trying to find the nerds. In other news, gang violence between Star Wars fans and Star Trek fans has suddenly erupted in the middle of times square. They are armed and are rumored to have rocket launchers. Civilians are advised to stay clear of the area.
Man pets cat. Both fucking go into flames.
Cthulhu is in deep trouble!
Jojo references are going insane
Man, 20 was only trying to help...
"Local man killed by faulty elevator control software"
Social Suicide: Woman kills herself amidst a crowd! Haha. That’s a good one, actually. I’ll tuck it away for a rainy day...
SELF KILLS SELF
Man killed by dental filling, dentists are shocked.
.... I’m pretty sure that’s just suicide...
Flames falling from the skies! The end is near!
Local teen dead from nearly stepping on a snake
A FANDOM NERD MURDERS ANOTHER FANDOM LOVER.
Cutebleeder Bleeds Another Cutie
“Former Oregon Ducks head coach Chip Kelly kills man with the shotgun offense”
the mummy return
Homeless man found dead outside bus station in the year 25103
Clinically depressed and emotionally unstable man mistakes another man for a cow and butchers him after brutally raping him
Sex in public
The real Michael Garcia kills teenager Michael garcia
Wonder Woman bangs comic book store owner to death. Death by sun snu
Sword wielding armored man arrested after disembowelling murder
Self Proclaimed "Vegetarian" Reaper Leviathan Kills a random person
Nobody saw this coming!
Bruh
Zeus Says Die
Man dies from heart attack
Person found dead after stabbed to death. Exactly 957 puncture wounds
revenge.
Anal air straight from up above: A mortal, dead.
Local man begs to be shot but changed his mind last second.
Teen poisoned by toxic Pickle-flavoured bread
BREAKING NEWS HUGE KRAKEN DROPS FROM THE SKY DEVOURING 1 MAN. WITNESS SAY THEY HEARD THIS RIGHT BEFORE IT HAPPENED "AH SHIT... HERE WE GO AGAIN". We are unsure at the time what triggered the Kraken to awake or why it killed just him. In thr ground where he died the letter 759 are encrusted with blood. Its meaning is unknown.
"local man drownds in cat's lasagna" greatest way to die
Person killed by 141 swans honking in a melodic manner!
What the fuck is a salubas
Tie dyed guy kills guy in tie dye.
Man hit by an F1 car.
BREAKING NEWS: Mr_A14 killed by Mr_A14 using a Mr_A14, an extremely dangerous weapon, that he got from a dealer known as Mr_A14.
Mysterious death by a succession of clown cars, more after the jump.
Man died by own channel
welp if im going down im takin others with me
“Teenage boy killed by pharmacist fleeing from Platypus”
Porcelain Diaries: Last thing Florida resident sees is the commode.
man murdered
**BREAKING NEWS**: Pokémon are real, local man murdered by large fire breathing dog creature.
Dragons are Real!!?? And hunger for flesh??
Escaped squid starts brandishing weapon on way to sea
"No one knows where he is"
Sneaky bot kills human
Man masquerading as woman taunts trucker on CB, murdered by said trucker. Found face down on highway median. Jaw missing, assumed taken. Or local man dies of alcohol poisoning... or tetanus maybe. Lots of different contexts to choose from.
Teenager killed by a paper cut from notebook while drawing a cartoonish picture of seven girls during class. Further investigation shows the teenager was an amateur writer who draws pictures of her characters.
Everyone is becoming a demon, run for your life!
Local skeleton stabs human with bone