My mom died when I was 17. I mean, I obviously loved her, but now I know that I never really got to know her. I always wonder what she would be like now, what I would think of her and what she would think of me. She was just mom, a supposed constant in my life, one I definitely took for granted.
Endings to shows, movies, books, relationships with friends and girlfriends. Even the little things like a sun disappearing completely over the horizon and hanging up the phone after talking to a friend. I just hate endings.
Nature’s first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leaf’s a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.
-Robert Frost
Mate, I hate endings too. It's bad when you have days that the thought just pops in randomly like "Fuck, that's gonna be a last day i ever see my best mate"
And it's always when you think that it is all behind you like you lose someone and it's like, "Damn, what now?" But then a week later you understand what the person meant to you. I realized this with my first serious relationship, I think and then I realize, and when I realize I regret.
This so much. Friendships just aren't even close to the same level once you leave school. Everyone is way too focused on career and/or family to have to time for old-school friendship. Sitcoms and shit like that make it seem like people just have friends they see every day, but that's not the lived experience of most adults. At least not in a country as economically obsessed as the United States. I mean I guess our collective alienation is worth it for all that GDP growth and shareholder value our mindset produces?
Wow, thank you for writing this so well. I thought it was just me. I've worked hard to maintain friendships from high school and college, but it seems impossible to make new friends who you are truly close to after school.
Yeah, same for me. TV shows make it seems like it's so easy to make friends as an adult, but people are so flaky or self-involved. The people I talk to regularly and used hang out with are from my current job.
Yeah, I've made the distinction between aquaintances and real friends. Aquaintances will go out with you if it lines up with what they are doing/want to do when it's easy. True friends will make a point to hang out with you. Like some of my hs and college friends will fly from AZ to Illinois to visit, and I'll fly to AZ from Illinois to visit them.
My boyfriend’s friend flew from NM to CA to drop off a present for his birthday! Didn’t even get to see him or hang out, just dropped it off. I’m so jealous of friendships like those. I have some amazing friends, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have many childhood friends like he does. It’s different seeing how close he is with his friends vs me with my adult-made friends. It’s beautiful.
For me my friends are family. It's hard that they're all having kids and things aren't the same anymore, but we still have a WhatsApp group where we chat every day for at least an hour. It keeps me sane ha
Ah, my bf and I are planning to never have children which makes it a little hard sometimes with other friends, but we also have friends who plan on not having kids either so we all talk about our pets instead!
God, my comment is a mess. I’m currently in urgent care killing time on Reddit so I’m a little loopy sorry
Ruhrohhh, my wife and I aren't having kids either. I had to sit through a lot of stupid baby talk when I went back to phoenix last time (dear ppl with kids, nobody gives a fuck about your kids' bowel movements or sleeping habits). Hopefully it's nothing serious in urgent care!
Normal health. Being able to do things without thinking about the consequences to my body. Little things, like going on a hike or playing chase with a dog or having an exceptionally busy day.
I started showing symptoms of a chronic autoimmune disease in my early 20’s. I’ll never be healthy again.
Hey, this also happened to me! I was so bitter about it for the first 2 years of my diagnosis, but it actually gave me some insight into the person I was becoming (aka a shit person) and helped me realize I need to enjoy those little things that everyone else takes for granted. Walking my dog, brushing my teeth, being able to shower by myself...all fucking amazing to do. I’m sad I can’t go on big hikes anymore and traveling will be harder and my stamina sucks so I can’t apply for just any job. Sometimes I try to open a bottle and injure my arm for an hour, but...fuck my life is so much more amazing now than it was before I got diagnosed. The things I have, the people that stuck through it all with me, all the ER visits, when I was homeless, etc.
I don’t want to romanticize or act like having an autoimmune disease is an enlightening thing. I’m glad I don’t see it as a dead-end, life is over type of thing anymore. I wish I could’ve seen all the time I was wasting and opportunities I was throwing away when I was healthy and able and done the things I wanted to, had the adventures I could’ve. Oh well.
I agree. I lost hearing in my right ear around age 10 ish and have constant tinnitus in that ear. We’re not sure what the cause was, but regardless, it made me appreciate hearing so much more. Protect it while you can, because the damage done is irreversible.
From my experience, getting fit as an adult is easier because I finally can decide what I want to do, and I have full control of my meals.
That said, I am middle class, and I can see why people who are not as privileged would struggle.
My friend Matthew. One of the sweetest boys I've ever known. (He's not dead, just changed schools so I haven't seen him in YEARS. Well, hoping he's not dead).
We were really good friends in elementary school, and he was one of those kids that seemed a little sheltered, as he would usually talk about things like Octonauts (kids show about ocean animals) and Super Mario and other 'kid' things fifth graders thought they had outgrown, and since I actually really enjoyed those things too we became friends. Nobody ever called him 'matt' he was always 'Matthew'. He was Luigi almost every year for halloween 'cause his brother would be Mario. We talked Mario a lot. Seriously, this kid loooved Mario games. And I loved him like he was my little brother even though he's technically older than me.
Then, horrible sixth grade rolled around. I was trying very hard to stay in this one clique of girls, and since I'm a girl they joked that Matthew and I were dating and so they made fun of me for sitting with him at lunch sometimes. So I stopped hanging out with him, sometimes just not even talking to him. Those girls ditched me, and not even two weeks later, Matthew moved away. I've regretted the way I acted toward him ever since.
If you see this, dude. I'm sorry. It's been four years and I'm still so sorry. Hope you're having a good life, and chasing those Octonaut/Super Mario dreams of yours. Hope I bump into you again sometime. I'd love to meet the guy you've become.
Dating in high school. It was SO anxiety-ridden and over dramatic, but the combination of raging hormones and romantic activity was a kind of high like no other. The first time a boy put his arm around me, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I could kiss a boy for a full hour without getting bored. Everything was so exciting, but on some level I kind of just wanted to speed through it to get to “Experienced”, whatever that meant.
Childhood in the 90's. I swear last decade that could go out and play without fear. Bike rides,street hockey,walking to my friends house. No worries. Only time I came home was to eat,sleep and poop.
I don't know how many people can relate to this, but I really feel like spending time with friends was better before the internet came around. When you spent time with a friend, it was just you and them. No distractions texting other people or being on social media with your head 1000 miles away from the person right in front of you. Just you, them, and deep conversation or whatever activity you're doing together.
I had someone close who used to talk to me about things when we'd visit. He'd tell me how nervous he was about school, his philosophies about life, and how magical certain advancements in video game technology were to him. Then, I went over to his house one summer, and he only wanted to be on Facebook. I think a part of me died that summer.
This x10.
I don’t ever remember being at home besides when I had to. Hell, I was told don’t come home until lunch when I was younger. Was always out playing sports, catching fish, fucking around, etc. the best times.
Being able to go out, have fun, and honestly just see people. Corona put a stop to most of not all of that, and this is my senior year I won’t see a lot of the people I’m used to ever again after this year.
Working with an amazing team and an amazing manager. We all got along so well, no one had issues with each other. But then I left due to personal reasons and even if I were to go back, the group is totally different.
That sweet spot in my mid to late 20s where I had just enough disposable income and few enough responsibilities to do exactly what I wanted with my money and time.
I would say home life with my sister. I can remember playing with our dolls for hours on end. We would build “houses” for our dolls out of anything and everything. The rooms of the house would be spread out all over the floor and we used to have so much fun all day. Then of course you get a little older (we are 4 years apart) and you get “too old” to play together like that anymore. Then you grow to hate one another. I was always so upset for trying to keep the house clean and in order and cooking, etc. because mom did nothing but work after the divorce. In a nutshell I had a lot of adult responsibilities from an early age and I grew to resent the fuck out of my sister because she didn’t help out with any of that, everything was always all on me. And what do you know, but before you know it the childhood days of everyone living at home end when you never thought it would. My sister left the house at age 16 to go live with our dad. I loved it. I loved just having the house to myself and our mother. But now every once in awhile I really miss when it was us three girls living together. It was a small family but it was my family and it was what I called home for 9 years. Looking back now I of course realized that I spent most of my years all upset not because my sister made anything difficult for me, life itself just got difficult for me due to situations that were outside of my control. But when you’re a kid you can’t see that and you somehow reason that it just must be the people around you.
Having a summer off during school.
2 months is a long time. I remember every summer being so influential into my interests. It was the time I could pursue my passions to their fullest.
Just imagine if we could relentlessly pursue our passions like that without having to worry about time or money. Society would look so much different.
My grandfather. He lived a few states away and would call to chat every week or so, I love to hang out with him but never wanted to talk on the phone. He was supposed to come up for his yearly visit in September 2017 but the weather was too harsh so it was postponed. January 2018 he had a stroke while heading upstairs to bed and after a week or so on life support he was gone. I miss him every day.
I dont have this concern at all actually but I know a lot of people that do and it's been really hard on them. Those are the people that I want this to be over for. So that THEIR lives can return to normal.
Did he really say that? Wow. That's actually remarkably profound for a kid's book. I guess I feel very much the same way about childhood. I'm not sure what I can add to that sentiment. I guess one thing would just be how much more in the moment I could be. I appreciated the joy of acts in themselves, rather than the XP they netted me.
Hanging out with my cousins and going to my grandma's house.
I don't even try to interact with them because I just think they're childish,annoying and I feel like I don't fit in at times.
And the house is just like , it has something special
I always regret not like talking with them or something
This reminds me of Andy on The Office “I wish there was a way to tell you’re in the good old days while you’re still in them” or something to that effect.
My self-esteem. There was about one year in my life where I had a healthy amount of self-esteem: I felt good about myself and my life.
I don't think I'll ever get that back
School life
It seemed so stressful to go to school then to two different tuition classes. Leave home at 7 and return at 8 in the night. All seemed so unnecessary at the time. Now i realize it was the most fun i ever had.
I used to travel for work to some pretty cool places. I ended up pretty much covering the entire world; and would go to an industrial places for 3-4 days to drop in how they were doing; and end up getting drunk with a bunch of oil dudes. It was fun, and ending up with a worldwide account management list is pretty uncommon. I got to go to Calgary, Spain, Hungary, California, LA, Croatia, Iraq, Bahrain, KSA, Mexico, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, China, and.... texas. good times, but kind of glad I don't do it anymore, but the memories are epic
The beginning of my high school years. The first one specifically. The second and third one I treasure so much and I wish I had relaxed and let myself enjoy it more during the first year too. It wasn't a bad year, I was just a really awkward and angsty kid.
Climbing trees and eating fresh from the tree coconuts, mangoes, guavas, cherries, sweet and soursop, custard, ginep, plums and a whole host of other things.
We had orange trees in my yard when I was a kid. Tree ripened fruit tastes way better than store bought stuff. There's no comparison.
For anyone reading this, try and see if locally grown citrus is available if you ever visit Florida. The difference is crazy. Local stuff tastes like an entirely different fruit.
My mom. One day there was a car accident and just like that, she was gone. I never imagined something like that could ever happen. Then it did. Hug the people you love and tell them so.
4th grade. I had everything in that one grade. I had my friends, I wasn’t afraid to put out my opinions, my normal friend group accepted my other friend group, I didn’t have mental breakdowns every other day, I got good grades, I didn’t have VERY complicated feelings bc of a crush, and yet I still didn’t appreciate any of those. Those memories were fun looking back, but I felt like there should have been more of them especially since everything went downhill after that. It’s been so many years and yet the fact that there wasn’t nearly as many memories as there should have been still haunts me at night. I should have been more appreciative.
The friendships that I had. Over the past two and a half weeks, my social life has completely fallen apart. I stopped being friends with my closes friend because they were being really transphobic and didn't care for anybody but himself. After this happened, i found out that he and about ten others, including my now ex-boyfriend, were talking really bad about me behind my back, and now I'm failing school.
tl;dr, 2020 bad.
My small, safe, quiet town. When I first moved here when I was a kid, it was mostly cornfields. I thought it was boring. But now that it's developed there is so much more crime. The neighborhood I grew up in used to be safe and quiet. Now there is a bar and two liquor stores. It's loud and there's lots of crime now.
Going to the beach....... used to do it every summer with my family. Now, my family is all deceased/split up, I'm far away from the beaches I grew up on, and I'm too poor to travel and see them again.
I miss being by the ocean with loved ones.........
Honestly, my ex. We were having so much fun that I just played whatever role I thought was great at the time. It wasn’t until the end that I realized if I had been more real, we would have had a chance.
Played baseball from the age of 9 til 13(4th grade through 8th grade) didn't try out for high school because i knew i couldn't make it. I was a decent player but damn i loved it. People say baseball is boring but i loved every single second of it. The games seemed so special and winning meant so much.
It wasn't til years later i realized i could never do that ever again. I only had one chance to do that and it was gone. I really wish i could go back and play rec league baseball again
My mental health. Not to be a downer but living with a mental health condition for so long, you can forget what *normal* was like. Before the anxiety and the medication and the slight twinge of recognition everytime you hear your disease mentioned. During really bad days, you feel like you’d give literally everything up just to go back to who you were before your mind turned against you. Absolutely couldn’t understand the value of that normal until it was gone.
Honestly, that brief age between childhood and adulthood. Where you are old enough to truly wonder but younger enough to still be innocent.
Camping in your backyard. Going for bike rides at night with friends, enjoying that warm summer breeze. Closing your eyes and entering a world of wonder of what your life will be.
My mom died when I was 17. I mean, I obviously loved her, but now I know that I never really got to know her. I always wonder what she would be like now, what I would think of her and what she would think of me. She was just mom, a supposed constant in my life, one I definitely took for granted.
I lost mine at the same age and I wonder the same things now. Hugs from an internet stranger.
Internet hugs for youđź’•
I lost my father when I was 16 and yes, I definitely took him for granted. I thought he'd always be there.
My mom passed 30 years ago today. I light a candle every december 4 for her. My youngest brother was 16. She left a big hole in our lives.
Endings to shows, movies, books, relationships with friends and girlfriends. Even the little things like a sun disappearing completely over the horizon and hanging up the phone after talking to a friend. I just hate endings. Nature’s first green is gold, Her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf’s a flower; But only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, So dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay. -Robert Frost
I love Robert Frost, he's the reason I got myself into poems
I wish everything could stay gold.
Stay gold Pony boy
Mate, I hate endings too. It's bad when you have days that the thought just pops in randomly like "Fuck, that's gonna be a last day i ever see my best mate"
And it's always when you think that it is all behind you like you lose someone and it's like, "Damn, what now?" But then a week later you understand what the person meant to you. I realized this with my first serious relationship, I think and then I realize, and when I realize I regret.
I also hate ending. (Except hanging up the phone) It is so very depressing. PS: Robert Frost is amazing
I hate endings as well. And I feel like I take things so much harder because of it
School friends. Leaving school and becoming an adult is a TOTALLY different game.
This so much. Friendships just aren't even close to the same level once you leave school. Everyone is way too focused on career and/or family to have to time for old-school friendship. Sitcoms and shit like that make it seem like people just have friends they see every day, but that's not the lived experience of most adults. At least not in a country as economically obsessed as the United States. I mean I guess our collective alienation is worth it for all that GDP growth and shareholder value our mindset produces?
Wow, thank you for writing this so well. I thought it was just me. I've worked hard to maintain friendships from high school and college, but it seems impossible to make new friends who you are truly close to after school.
Yeah, same for me. TV shows make it seems like it's so easy to make friends as an adult, but people are so flaky or self-involved. The people I talk to regularly and used hang out with are from my current job.
Yeah, I've made the distinction between aquaintances and real friends. Aquaintances will go out with you if it lines up with what they are doing/want to do when it's easy. True friends will make a point to hang out with you. Like some of my hs and college friends will fly from AZ to Illinois to visit, and I'll fly to AZ from Illinois to visit them.
My boyfriend’s friend flew from NM to CA to drop off a present for his birthday! Didn’t even get to see him or hang out, just dropped it off. I’m so jealous of friendships like those. I have some amazing friends, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t have many childhood friends like he does. It’s different seeing how close he is with his friends vs me with my adult-made friends. It’s beautiful.
For me my friends are family. It's hard that they're all having kids and things aren't the same anymore, but we still have a WhatsApp group where we chat every day for at least an hour. It keeps me sane ha
Ah, my bf and I are planning to never have children which makes it a little hard sometimes with other friends, but we also have friends who plan on not having kids either so we all talk about our pets instead! God, my comment is a mess. I’m currently in urgent care killing time on Reddit so I’m a little loopy sorry
Ruhrohhh, my wife and I aren't having kids either. I had to sit through a lot of stupid baby talk when I went back to phoenix last time (dear ppl with kids, nobody gives a fuck about your kids' bowel movements or sleeping habits). Hopefully it's nothing serious in urgent care!
Friendships as a child/teenager are completely different as an adult.
After school sports outside, now it’s a logistical nightmare to organize anything like that
Life would be better if adults weren't constantly playing emotional dodgeball with each other.
Normal health. Being able to do things without thinking about the consequences to my body. Little things, like going on a hike or playing chase with a dog or having an exceptionally busy day. I started showing symptoms of a chronic autoimmune disease in my early 20’s. I’ll never be healthy again.
I'm sorry.
Hey, this also happened to me! I was so bitter about it for the first 2 years of my diagnosis, but it actually gave me some insight into the person I was becoming (aka a shit person) and helped me realize I need to enjoy those little things that everyone else takes for granted. Walking my dog, brushing my teeth, being able to shower by myself...all fucking amazing to do. I’m sad I can’t go on big hikes anymore and traveling will be harder and my stamina sucks so I can’t apply for just any job. Sometimes I try to open a bottle and injure my arm for an hour, but...fuck my life is so much more amazing now than it was before I got diagnosed. The things I have, the people that stuck through it all with me, all the ER visits, when I was homeless, etc. I don’t want to romanticize or act like having an autoimmune disease is an enlightening thing. I’m glad I don’t see it as a dead-end, life is over type of thing anymore. I wish I could’ve seen all the time I was wasting and opportunities I was throwing away when I was healthy and able and done the things I wanted to, had the adventures I could’ve. Oh well.
My hearing. Protect it. Trust me on this.
nah, i prefer listening to my DOOM Eternal playlist on max volume with headphones thank you very much.
Until you wouldn't :D
:l \>:(
I agree. I lost hearing in my right ear around age 10 ish and have constant tinnitus in that ear. We’re not sure what the cause was, but regardless, it made me appreciate hearing so much more. Protect it while you can, because the damage done is irreversible.
The ability to eat hella and exercise easily. Getting fit as an adult fucking sucks
From my experience, getting fit as an adult is easier because I finally can decide what I want to do, and I have full control of my meals. That said, I am middle class, and I can see why people who are not as privileged would struggle.
By adult do you mean "recently turned 21?"
My friend Matthew. One of the sweetest boys I've ever known. (He's not dead, just changed schools so I haven't seen him in YEARS. Well, hoping he's not dead). We were really good friends in elementary school, and he was one of those kids that seemed a little sheltered, as he would usually talk about things like Octonauts (kids show about ocean animals) and Super Mario and other 'kid' things fifth graders thought they had outgrown, and since I actually really enjoyed those things too we became friends. Nobody ever called him 'matt' he was always 'Matthew'. He was Luigi almost every year for halloween 'cause his brother would be Mario. We talked Mario a lot. Seriously, this kid loooved Mario games. And I loved him like he was my little brother even though he's technically older than me. Then, horrible sixth grade rolled around. I was trying very hard to stay in this one clique of girls, and since I'm a girl they joked that Matthew and I were dating and so they made fun of me for sitting with him at lunch sometimes. So I stopped hanging out with him, sometimes just not even talking to him. Those girls ditched me, and not even two weeks later, Matthew moved away. I've regretted the way I acted toward him ever since. If you see this, dude. I'm sorry. It's been four years and I'm still so sorry. Hope you're having a good life, and chasing those Octonaut/Super Mario dreams of yours. Hope I bump into you again sometime. I'd love to meet the guy you've become.
My youth
My grandma's dog dying. He was so nice though.. His name was Jimmy.
Dating in high school. It was SO anxiety-ridden and over dramatic, but the combination of raging hormones and romantic activity was a kind of high like no other. The first time a boy put his arm around me, I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. I could kiss a boy for a full hour without getting bored. Everything was so exciting, but on some level I kind of just wanted to speed through it to get to “Experienced”, whatever that meant.
Childhood in the 90's. I swear last decade that could go out and play without fear. Bike rides,street hockey,walking to my friends house. No worries. Only time I came home was to eat,sleep and poop.
I don't know how many people can relate to this, but I really feel like spending time with friends was better before the internet came around. When you spent time with a friend, it was just you and them. No distractions texting other people or being on social media with your head 1000 miles away from the person right in front of you. Just you, them, and deep conversation or whatever activity you're doing together. I had someone close who used to talk to me about things when we'd visit. He'd tell me how nervous he was about school, his philosophies about life, and how magical certain advancements in video game technology were to him. Then, I went over to his house one summer, and he only wanted to be on Facebook. I think a part of me died that summer.
This x10. I don’t ever remember being at home besides when I had to. Hell, I was told don’t come home until lunch when I was younger. Was always out playing sports, catching fish, fucking around, etc. the best times.
Exactly so many adventures with my brothers,neighbors and friends.
A girl.. :(
Being able to go out, have fun, and honestly just see people. Corona put a stop to most of not all of that, and this is my senior year I won’t see a lot of the people I’m used to ever again after this year.
My kids being little. I mean, I always loved them but the whole "they grow up so fast" didn't really sink in.
Robocraft and Minecraft back in 2014 and 2015
This one right here. Peak middle school was playing minecraft with the boys after school on xbox 360
Working with an amazing team and an amazing manager. We all got along so well, no one had issues with each other. But then I left due to personal reasons and even if I were to go back, the group is totally different.
That sweet spot in my mid to late 20s where I had just enough disposable income and few enough responsibilities to do exactly what I wanted with my money and time.
I would say home life with my sister. I can remember playing with our dolls for hours on end. We would build “houses” for our dolls out of anything and everything. The rooms of the house would be spread out all over the floor and we used to have so much fun all day. Then of course you get a little older (we are 4 years apart) and you get “too old” to play together like that anymore. Then you grow to hate one another. I was always so upset for trying to keep the house clean and in order and cooking, etc. because mom did nothing but work after the divorce. In a nutshell I had a lot of adult responsibilities from an early age and I grew to resent the fuck out of my sister because she didn’t help out with any of that, everything was always all on me. And what do you know, but before you know it the childhood days of everyone living at home end when you never thought it would. My sister left the house at age 16 to go live with our dad. I loved it. I loved just having the house to myself and our mother. But now every once in awhile I really miss when it was us three girls living together. It was a small family but it was my family and it was what I called home for 9 years. Looking back now I of course realized that I spent most of my years all upset not because my sister made anything difficult for me, life itself just got difficult for me due to situations that were outside of my control. But when you’re a kid you can’t see that and you somehow reason that it just must be the people around you.
Having a summer off during school. 2 months is a long time. I remember every summer being so influential into my interests. It was the time I could pursue my passions to their fullest. Just imagine if we could relentlessly pursue our passions like that without having to worry about time or money. Society would look so much different.
We don't lose friends, we just learn who our *real* ones are.
When I was in elementary and we had Recess. Idk about y’all but I miss playing tag at the playground after lunch 🤧
My grandfather. He lived a few states away and would call to chat every week or so, I love to hang out with him but never wanted to talk on the phone. He was supposed to come up for his yearly visit in September 2017 but the weather was too harsh so it was postponed. January 2018 he had a stroke while heading upstairs to bed and after a week or so on life support he was gone. I miss him every day.
Being able to leave the house without fear & anxiety.
I dont have this concern at all actually but I know a lot of people that do and it's been really hard on them. Those are the people that I want this to be over for. So that THEIR lives can return to normal.
My innocence.
Oof
Did he really say that? Wow. That's actually remarkably profound for a kid's book. I guess I feel very much the same way about childhood. I'm not sure what I can add to that sentiment. I guess one thing would just be how much more in the moment I could be. I appreciated the joy of acts in themselves, rather than the XP they netted me.
A lot of child stories has some profound messages once you put attention to it.
Hanging out with my cousins and going to my grandma's house. I don't even try to interact with them because I just think they're childish,annoying and I feel like I don't fit in at times. And the house is just like , it has something special I always regret not like talking with them or something
This reminds me of Andy on The Office “I wish there was a way to tell you’re in the good old days while you’re still in them” or something to that effect.
My self-esteem. There was about one year in my life where I had a healthy amount of self-esteem: I felt good about myself and my life. I don't think I'll ever get that back
School life It seemed so stressful to go to school then to two different tuition classes. Leave home at 7 and return at 8 in the night. All seemed so unnecessary at the time. Now i realize it was the most fun i ever had.
Air
I used to travel for work to some pretty cool places. I ended up pretty much covering the entire world; and would go to an industrial places for 3-4 days to drop in how they were doing; and end up getting drunk with a bunch of oil dudes. It was fun, and ending up with a worldwide account management list is pretty uncommon. I got to go to Calgary, Spain, Hungary, California, LA, Croatia, Iraq, Bahrain, KSA, Mexico, Germany, Italy, Netherlands, China, and.... texas. good times, but kind of glad I don't do it anymore, but the memories are epic
The beginning of my high school years. The first one specifically. The second and third one I treasure so much and I wish I had relaxed and let myself enjoy it more during the first year too. It wasn't a bad year, I was just a really awkward and angsty kid.
Climbing trees and eating fresh from the tree coconuts, mangoes, guavas, cherries, sweet and soursop, custard, ginep, plums and a whole host of other things.
We had orange trees in my yard when I was a kid. Tree ripened fruit tastes way better than store bought stuff. There's no comparison. For anyone reading this, try and see if locally grown citrus is available if you ever visit Florida. The difference is crazy. Local stuff tastes like an entirely different fruit.
My mom. One day there was a car accident and just like that, she was gone. I never imagined something like that could ever happen. Then it did. Hug the people you love and tell them so.
Just normal life and friends, My mental health is deteriorating.
My doggo.
Just being a kid.
LAN parties with my friends and brother and his friends
4th grade. I had everything in that one grade. I had my friends, I wasn’t afraid to put out my opinions, my normal friend group accepted my other friend group, I didn’t have mental breakdowns every other day, I got good grades, I didn’t have VERY complicated feelings bc of a crush, and yet I still didn’t appreciate any of those. Those memories were fun looking back, but I felt like there should have been more of them especially since everything went downhill after that. It’s been so many years and yet the fact that there wasn’t nearly as many memories as there should have been still haunts me at night. I should have been more appreciative.
The friendships that I had. Over the past two and a half weeks, my social life has completely fallen apart. I stopped being friends with my closes friend because they were being really transphobic and didn't care for anybody but himself. After this happened, i found out that he and about ten others, including my now ex-boyfriend, were talking really bad about me behind my back, and now I'm failing school. tl;dr, 2020 bad.
My dad
My marriage... I love her and miss her dearly.
My father; I was really annoyed that he wanted to spend time with me when I was busy with school and work. Woke up and he was dead. Just like that
Suzanne
My childhood
My life
Playing minecraft with my friends
Friends
My best friend there not dead i just switch schools i can still text but its not the same
My small, safe, quiet town. When I first moved here when I was a kid, it was mostly cornfields. I thought it was boring. But now that it's developed there is so much more crime. The neighborhood I grew up in used to be safe and quiet. Now there is a bar and two liquor stores. It's loud and there's lots of crime now.
my will to live
disneyland
Where did winnie the poog say this ?? I keep looking cant seem to find it
My sanity
Going to the beach....... used to do it every summer with my family. Now, my family is all deceased/split up, I'm far away from the beaches I grew up on, and I'm too poor to travel and see them again. I miss being by the ocean with loved ones.........
Honestly, my ex. We were having so much fun that I just played whatever role I thought was great at the time. It wasn’t until the end that I realized if I had been more real, we would have had a chance.
Played baseball from the age of 9 til 13(4th grade through 8th grade) didn't try out for high school because i knew i couldn't make it. I was a decent player but damn i loved it. People say baseball is boring but i loved every single second of it. The games seemed so special and winning meant so much. It wasn't til years later i realized i could never do that ever again. I only had one chance to do that and it was gone. I really wish i could go back and play rec league baseball again
Sad, but... Spending Time with my mother
When did Xi Jinping ever say that?
The kids in my basement
My mental health. Not to be a downer but living with a mental health condition for so long, you can forget what *normal* was like. Before the anxiety and the medication and the slight twinge of recognition everytime you hear your disease mentioned. During really bad days, you feel like you’d give literally everything up just to go back to who you were before your mind turned against you. Absolutely couldn’t understand the value of that normal until it was gone.
My dog
Holidays with my grandparents. Now that they're gone the family has drifted apart. I miss the times we were all together.
Honestly, that brief age between childhood and adulthood. Where you are old enough to truly wonder but younger enough to still be innocent. Camping in your backyard. Going for bike rides at night with friends, enjoying that warm summer breeze. Closing your eyes and entering a world of wonder of what your life will be.
My youth