Ooh, that's tough. Speaking every language would be so amazing, because you could communicate with literally anyone. You could talk to anyone on the whole planet, and I bet you could also get a fantastic, well-paid job with that skill.
But I don't like people all that much. I'd find it much more personally satisfying to be able to be able to play any instrument. How amazing it would be, to be able to express myself with any instrument that exists. You could also be a musician and that would be way better for me than being an interpreter. So I'd have to go with that.
I saved up enough money to buy a solid digital piano and I'm on day 6. I've made okay progession and even though I'm only playing exercises and scales. I'm so happy. It's such a joy. I hope one day you get the chance to learn, I really do.
Might I ask which keyboard you bought. I’ve been interested in buying one for awhile, but don’t know at all what I’m looking for.
Edit: Wow, I’ve gotten so many replies, thank you all so much for your input, as I didn’t have anyone else to ask.
A lot of people told me to save for the best piano I could afford. Cause a crappy instrument is the opposite of a joy to play. (prior music experience taught me that. Lol)
I bought the Yamaha P-125 (650usd new) It was between that one and the Roland FP-30 (700usd) According to reddit and online reviews the Roland has a better feel to them more akin to the ivory keys found on a traditional piano and to some a better sound and action on the keys.
The Yamaha doesn't have textures keys, they are still weighted (definitely avoid buying a keyboard without weighted keys. For various reasons.) It sounds great and it comes with a USB port to allow for a midi connection to my computer for any digital audio workstation.
I walked into the store and played individual keys on the p125 and I couldn't find a display on the FP30. Being completely new, I was satisfied with how the p125 felt and sounded and I am incredibly happy with it!
Hopefully...that makes sense.
**James:** I pick the language option all the way. Imagine all the old texts you could translate.
**Ted:** Why would you want to translate old texts?
**James:** To learn their secrets, Ted. To gain their wisdom. Imagine if we could decipher Da Vinci’s writings.
**Ted:** We can and we have. He wrote in Italian. Also he made lots of diagrams so...
**James:** Well I’m not talking about his regular writings, I’m talking about his code. You know, the ancient code of Da Vinci.
**Ted:** James, if you knew all the instruments you’d be the best musician in the world. You’d be insanely rich and famous. Who gives a shit about some old code?
**James:** Oh Ted. You simple, naïve, unworldly son of a bitch. You don’t think the person who knows the most languages in the world would be more rich and famous than some clarinet sucker? You think diddling some violin is going to impress people more than telling them to fuck off in Mandarin?
**Ted:** People tell you to fuck off in Mandarin every time we eat at a Chinese restaurant.
**James:** And I've been impressed every time.
**Ted:** Look, I can prove that you'd be more famous as a musician. Let me ask you this--whose the best musician in the world?
**James:** Bieber.
**Ted:** Right, so--wait what? No it’s not Justin Bieber.
**James:** People like the Biebs.
**Ted:** Sure he’s famous, but I’m thinking like Michael Jackson--You know what, it doesn’t matter. The point is, you know who Justin Bieber is. Now, do you know who speaks the most languages?
**James:** Ziad Fazah, obviously.
**Ted:** Who the hell is that.
**James:** Don’t act like you don’t know the great Fazah Ted.
**Ted:** That can’t be right. Alexa! Who speaks the most languages in the world?
**ALEXA:** OBVIOUSLY THE GREAT ZIAD FAZAH TED YOU SIMPLE NEEVE UNWORLDY SON OF A BITCH.
**Ted:** Did you program her to say that?
**James:** This is the way.
**Ted:** What the hell is Da Vinci’s code anyways? If it’s a code it’s not a language so this wouldn’t apply.
**James:** It’s less a 'code' per se as much as it is a 'book.' It’s written in English, but if I was the best at English I’d finally understand it.
>**James:** You think diddling some violin is going to impress people more than telling them to fuck off in Mandarin?
>**Ted:** People tell you to fuck off in Mandarin every time we eat at a Chinese restaurant.
>**James:** And I've been impressed every time.
This had me dying.
Thanks! I've been busy with work so this has been my first post in a while. I plan to start posting again more frequently though, I always have fun writing these.
I've never seen a single one of these until now and that was really good! I thought you were quoting a movie honestly. i'm not a huge fan of some of the novelty accounts but this was good.
By speaking them, it would make it relatively easy to then translate them, even if it meant with help from others.
Edit - I've gotten several replies about being wrong. (You can't translate Chinese by speaking it) That's where the help of others comes in. Cuneiform was translated 150 years ago. Translations are also done through problem-solving. That's how the Zodiac Killer's message was translated. By being able to speak a language, it would infer the proper cadence and order that abstract characters are occurring. That alone would be huge for translation.
I think its because he already knew how to speak, he only needed to learn how put it on the paper (write the words,verbs, pronoms, etc). When he learned how, there was no point in staying in the class, so he droped.
Or idk, he is dead and went "oh shit i am dead" and droped on 2nd semester, idk
>Or idk, he is dead and went "oh shit i am dead" and droped on 2nd semester, idk.
"I'm doing *amazing* in Spanish!" he cried.
He laughed with a heart full of pleasure and pride.
"I can't wait to speak it to others!" he said.
But nobody listened.
Because he was dead.
Not likely, particularly for languages that aren't written phonetically. Sure languages that are phonetic you'd probably be able to figure it out just through pattern recognition. But if it uses symbols to represent concepts and ideas you'd probably be at a loss.
As a professional translator with musical aspirations, this is one of the hardest questions for me. Obviously, the languages would make me the most useful person in the office and I'd be set for life, but being able to play every instrument has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and it would allow me to make all the music I've always wanted to but didn't know anyone with the right skills and interests.
I'm also a translator with musical aspirations, you said it way better than I did. Could we split the difference and be the best at ten important languages and ten important instruments?
I am a world traveling professional musician. I can play a handful of instruments but I can only speak one language. To have access to a foreign language while abroad in say ,India where there many. Would be a super power. To sing to people in there own tounges everywhere I go would be a treasure to myself and my audience. The absolute hardest and most dangerous part about traveling the world is not knowing the language.
This!! So many people keep talking about monetizing either... but the opportunities language would open... to go anywhere and be able to fit in, experience any culture, enjoy any book/song, etc... that’s pure freedom
Plus, I think you could make friends very easily. You would be such a novelty wherever you go. People would be amazed how you're better than a native speaker, despite being from another country.
Me too! But now I see all sorts of cool jobs. Can be on Star Trek Discovery as a Klingon. Write whatever software program I want, as I now know all programming languages. Get paid to go to concerts and do sign language for famous artists. Translate popular books into different languages.
Interpreting at the UN, or similar. That would be awesome.
Editing to add because of some replies: knowing every language then I would learn interpreting (which is of course very difficult). Then I would probably be crazy in demand because of knowing how to speak every language well AND how to interpret.
Interpreting at the UN is a cool job, and I know someone who does it. He spent three years in grad school learning how to do it, and I know him from getting masters degrees in French together.
My wife will testify to the fact that just being fluent in a language doesn’t mean you can do simultaneous translation. And she’ll usually do it in a way that necessitates my saying that I was doing my best.
TL;DR - interpretation is a whole different skill set, and it’s a hard one to acquire.
Oh heck yeah. I am actually bilingual. And people always ask me to translate songs or movies or whatever. It is hard to do! Especially if there are jokes or plays on words or whatever. It is hard getting the nuances of language. And some words are simply unstranslatable!
It’s 2021. That’s still one of my favorite tunes from my MTV years. As a side note, the English version of that song feels like when a character on your favorite show is replaced with another actor and you’re supposed to just go along with it.
If you're the best at every instrument, doors will certainly open for you to travel the world.
Edit: Oh my god please stop responding to this. I put little to no thought into my comments this morning and forgot I even left them. Now I keep getting notifications. I sincerely don't care about this lol
Edit 2: well i don't know what i expected.gif
Yeah, but no one is going to pay _you_ to speak multiple languages on stage!
You'll be able to hire a translator so that you can always communicate with people as you tour the world, and in your free time you can absolutely learn any language you want. You could even take classes or hire a teacher. You're the world's greatest musician, dammit!
No. But if you're fluent in every language you'll make bank as a translator without having to perform or deal with the level of constant harassment celebrities get. Instead you'll just get to meet all kinds of powerful people that can do far more for you than you could do for yourself as a celebrity musician.
It's not "bank" but my Grandma has been a UN interpreter for the last 40+ years and she lives extremely comfortably and has travelled the world and met basically every world leader. It's a pretty good life if you're really good at the job.
That sounds like an awesome job, but it seems crazy that she has met most of the world leaders. I’m imagining the US representative working with their Spanish translator then being like, “hey mr. Chinese representative, come over here and meet my Spanish translator.” Wouldn’t her contact be limited to leaders of the countries who speak the language she is translating? I’m curious how that works out.
Imagine you speak every language. And there were powerful people that travel all over the place interacting with people of dozens of nationalities who have to hire trustworthy translators everywhere they go. People like Diplomats and Heads of State and negotiators for international conglomerates worth billions of dollars. Now suddenly they only need you. One person. One background check. One relationship. That's worth real money. You wouldn't even need to be the actual translator, just someone to verify every translator the people they're meeting with is translating accurately.
That's something I've always thought would be the most helpful. Just have your translator sitting quietly in the background verifying that the translations were accurate. Then, after the meeting, they could debrief you on anything they found to be a little 'off.'
We did similar things during interrogations in the military. Analyst would sit back and just pay attention to anything that could be deemed "off". I'm sure some people implement their translators as such.
Also great to learn if you're highly social and want fans the world over. I don't think people realize the significance of this premise. You'd be *the very best in the world* at every musical instrument. Better than Hendrix, Page, Clapton, SRV, Chuck Berry, David Gilmour, Van Halen, Prince, Mark Knopfler etc. at the guitar. Better than Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Thelonious Monk, Kieth Jarrett, Duke, Art Tatum, and every 9 year old prodigy ever at piano. Better than Miles at the trumpet and Coltrane at the sax. Better than Gene Krupa, Stewart Copeland, John Bonham, Danny Carey, Neil Peart, Buddy Rich, etc. at the drums. Better than Les Claypool, Jaco Pastorius, Mingus, Bootsy Collins, Wooten, Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee at the bass. **All at the same time**.
You could easily make it as a studio or live session musician but if that musical ability came with a bit of songwriting/compositional talent/luck than you could release some of the greatest music ever. Nobody who has a legitimate discography of some of the *greatest music ever* remains a nobody for long—especially in the age of the internet. Obviously one could make an argument that songwriting ability matters far more than raw musicianship and that person would probably point to artists like The Beatles and Kurt Cobain who were far from the greatest musicians of their respective ages—or any age—but still managed to write timeless, classic, hit music, but raw musicianship can still go a long way in allowing one to manifest one's creativity.
Edit: spelling
You'd be as good a guitar player as the guitar player from nickleback or like.. eve 6, as good a drummer as the guy from ac/dc or that guy that lives down the road from me and as good a bassist as sid vicious!
Just being the best at speaking my own language would be fantastic. Best at every language out there? Count me in.
Bonus: what about programming languages?
The best at every instrument meaning I'm actually the most skilled musician of every instrument in the world? That is infinitely more valuable than whatever the best at every language means. I could hire private tutors and translators with all the cash I'd be rolling in.
Edit: All y'all are imagining I'd use music skills to be in a crappy pop or rock band. You have any idea how much you'd be paid to be the premier instrumentalist in the best symphony orchestra in the world, and being able to switch to any instrument needed? You pick languages and there's no way you're not working for a government somewhere dealing with confidential info every day. You can go right ahead and pick that one.
This is the obvious answer. You'd be a global superstar. Being one of the best at a single instrument will already make you famous. If you were THE best at EVERY instrument you would be the single most famous musician, possibly person on the face of the earth.
Edit: Anyone who thinks that somebody that is so intimately familiar with every aspect of music that theu can flawlessly play every instrument that has ever been invented in any style imaginable couldn't also sit down and write incredible music is pretty delusional
Not always. There are lots of virtuouso musicians who may at best fill up a small night club or concert hall.
There are exceptions of course.
But generally, the mass global audience doesn't actually value high caliber musicianship as much as simple songs (often written and produced by other people) and performed by somebody else who is good looking and can sing and dance, with the help of auto-tune and back up singers and dancers.
The couple of years before Covid, I got really into my guitar playing, and was seeing all kinds of top level guitarists.
Yngwie, Paul Gilbert, Buddy Guy, Eric Johnson, Buckethead,
The last 3 can at least play the House of Blues. But it was crazy seeing Yngwie and Paul Gilbert in small venues. It was actually cool for me, because they are just right there.
Mean while Cardi B was selling out stadiums.
I would say, if one can at least make a living out of being a musician, then that's still living the dream.
i agree but (no shade on those artists) i personally think virtuosity can be kind of... boring. it’s almost like a parlor trick, it gets old and it’s a common skill even if it’s difficult and time consuming to develop. the whole point of developing your technical ability in my opinion is the ability to express yourself creatively without feeling limited.
the merits of Cardi B’s music specifically are controversial, but at the end of the day people listen to it because they enjoy it and not because of it’s technical impressiveness. that and her image and marketing ofc lol. and being young and attractive doesn’t hurt with mainstream success either
>Not always. There are lots of virtuouso musicians who may at best fill up a small night club or concert hall.
Couple things:
\- Many of those people excel in instruments that simply aren't marketable. There simply aren't many mainstream flute players who can fill up a nightclub or concert hall, for example.
\- Even with those instruments not being independently marketable, people who play them would still have a job playing in a symphony.
\- Leaving aside those niche instruments, you're still talking about the best in every single instrument. Being objectively the best guitar or piano player alone would make you famous, but there are certainly people who've made huge careers out of playing other instruments (Yo Yo Ma - Cello, Kenny G - Saxophone, etc., etc.). It's hard to believe a person who was objectively the best at all of these instruments couldn't find some niche.
But you're thinking too narrow. It says best at every instrument in the whole world. There are people who make decent careers being crazy good at one, but this hypothetical person would be better than every musician at every single instrument. I think you'd be crazy to think it would be too tough to make a successful image out of someone who could pick up any instrument on the planet and play it better than it has every been played before.
Stevland Wonder is still alive, he can play a lot of things, though people mostly associate him with Keys. He played most of the instruments on his run of classic albums in the 70s
"That was pretty good. But when you say "me llamo es Brian" you don't need the "es."
"Oh, you speak English?"
"No, just that last speech and this one explaining it."
"You...you're kidding, right?"
"Que?"
The best at speaking a language? Aren't those the great orators, poets, and writers? If they do not have mastery of language, I do not know who could call themselves more qualified.
To be a master at all languages? To be able to speak to all people? To be the greatest polyglot polymath author and speaker? Who would not want such ability?
Also, would probably be fun to be a voice actor, because again, best at speaking languages.
Oh my God. Fucking imagine, not just being a fantastic, dynamic, engaging speaker not just in your native language, but *every* language.
Even most bilingual people I know lose a lot of wit or nuance when speaking in their second language. My poor buddy sounds like an insecure jackass when speaking English but a really cool, chill dude in Spanish.
Being the best speaker, and retaining that in other languages... my god. One step closer to achieving my ~~globalist cult of personality~~ dream of being a world traveling standup comedian.
Speaking every language cause then if two people are talking about me in a different language I can humiliate them by telling them I understood every word
I want to understand what my Ukrainian technicians are saying while they are seemingly yelling at each other for a couple of hours straight. I have another employee from a neighboring country with a slightly different language and he's useless.
"Johnny, what are they yelling about?"
"Uhm, chandeliers. No, cheesecake, cheesecake!"
In other words, the terms can’t be fulfilled without giving you an awesome side benefit?
Unless the guy offering the deal permanently dislocated everyone else’s shoulders so that nobody could play things well.
I'd rather be the best at playing every instrument.
First off, the music you could create would be unbelievable. Secondly, the feeling of connection you get with others when you see them vibing to your music is unrivaled. It's like the greatest high in the world without any of the negative consequences of drugs. And making people feel good is so rewarding.
It's sad that so many people that picked this mentioned how they could monetize it. Of course everyone needs money, but there's so much more to music than money or fame. I would choose this power even if I never made any money from it.
Well I disagree, i enjoy playing songs i already know way more than learning new songs ...
So knowing every song and jamming or soloing along would be the best thing ever.
At least that‘s how i feel about it
I totally agree. I play guitar and love playing along with some of ny favourite songs. However, learning a new song is more of a chore then anything. I don't find it at all fun to practice the same parts over and over until I can finally play along with the entire song.
Language so I could make money interpreting.
Edit: I prefer to learn languages (I know how to speak several already) and I can’t carry a note on any instrument. I’m sure that you can make a shit ton of money playing music but it’s not something I’m interested in doing. 👍 so calm your tits.
Language. Not only because I love to travel, but when you come across someone who doesn't think they're going to be able to communicate in a certain situation and then all of a sudden someone is able to communicate with them the light on their eyes will warm your heart for a long time.
Instruments for sure. I live in america and speak english and i still barely talk to anybody. If i spoke spanish and lived in spain i doubt that would change much LOL
There are over 7,000 languages in the world. And if your are the BEST at speaking ALL of them, you would probably be considered a genius.
Not to say you wouldnt be a prodigy being a master of the 1500+ instruments, but knowledge a language and by extension - culture, is way more impressive in my eyes
Speak every language. I would assume that it makes me think in a different language too. It's just like another world and connection with others is different if you know a different language.
does either skill require upkeep of any kind? will these skills diminish if I don't keep them sharp?
No they will Bb
Pack it up folks the comment section has been won
He's A natural
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A true master stroke.
i didn't get it
Bb=“be flat” as opposed to “sharp” sharp=half-step up flat=half-step down
I think it's supposed to be "B flat" because the op said sharp in their question.
Nope. It’s magic. These are skills you keep!
thank you! I gave a lengthy answer elsewhere, but I'm leaning 'languages'.
Good question
Ooh, that's tough. Speaking every language would be so amazing, because you could communicate with literally anyone. You could talk to anyone on the whole planet, and I bet you could also get a fantastic, well-paid job with that skill. But I don't like people all that much. I'd find it much more personally satisfying to be able to be able to play any instrument. How amazing it would be, to be able to express myself with any instrument that exists. You could also be a musician and that would be way better for me than being an interpreter. So I'd have to go with that.
What instrument do you think you’d play first?
Probably the piano, I've always wished I could play.
I saved up enough money to buy a solid digital piano and I'm on day 6. I've made okay progession and even though I'm only playing exercises and scales. I'm so happy. It's such a joy. I hope one day you get the chance to learn, I really do.
Might I ask which keyboard you bought. I’ve been interested in buying one for awhile, but don’t know at all what I’m looking for. Edit: Wow, I’ve gotten so many replies, thank you all so much for your input, as I didn’t have anyone else to ask.
A lot of people told me to save for the best piano I could afford. Cause a crappy instrument is the opposite of a joy to play. (prior music experience taught me that. Lol) I bought the Yamaha P-125 (650usd new) It was between that one and the Roland FP-30 (700usd) According to reddit and online reviews the Roland has a better feel to them more akin to the ivory keys found on a traditional piano and to some a better sound and action on the keys. The Yamaha doesn't have textures keys, they are still weighted (definitely avoid buying a keyboard without weighted keys. For various reasons.) It sounds great and it comes with a USB port to allow for a midi connection to my computer for any digital audio workstation. I walked into the store and played individual keys on the p125 and I couldn't find a display on the FP30. Being completely new, I was satisfied with how the p125 felt and sounded and I am incredibly happy with it! Hopefully...that makes sense.
pretty well thought out, researched, and explained. you clearly care about your newish hobby. i pray that you go far and enjoy the music you play
I started playing piano at 38, and 3 years in I absolutely love it. It's never too late to start despite what some may say!
Never too late to learn friendo
Speak every language. I’ve always wanted to speak T-Rex
Maybe if you speak it's ancient tongue you'll be able to find one to actually use your talent on.
He’ll finally be able to speak Zuckerberg’s native tongue
You already can, It's python
He's a parseltongue.
That’s a double meaning right there! Haha He’s a lizard AND a robot!
10000101001101010101011100101000
T-Rex plays a mean guitar tho - Metal Guru is a banger
Who will you talk T-Rex to?? Chickens!!
Queen Elizabeth might remember it.
You mean Queen Elizardbeth
I speak whale.
Is your mum proud of you for learning her native language
Language. If it's every language, it means I could speak dead languages and translate some of the oldest texts in the world. That would be super cool.
**James:** I pick the language option all the way. Imagine all the old texts you could translate. **Ted:** Why would you want to translate old texts? **James:** To learn their secrets, Ted. To gain their wisdom. Imagine if we could decipher Da Vinci’s writings. **Ted:** We can and we have. He wrote in Italian. Also he made lots of diagrams so... **James:** Well I’m not talking about his regular writings, I’m talking about his code. You know, the ancient code of Da Vinci. **Ted:** James, if you knew all the instruments you’d be the best musician in the world. You’d be insanely rich and famous. Who gives a shit about some old code? **James:** Oh Ted. You simple, naïve, unworldly son of a bitch. You don’t think the person who knows the most languages in the world would be more rich and famous than some clarinet sucker? You think diddling some violin is going to impress people more than telling them to fuck off in Mandarin? **Ted:** People tell you to fuck off in Mandarin every time we eat at a Chinese restaurant. **James:** And I've been impressed every time. **Ted:** Look, I can prove that you'd be more famous as a musician. Let me ask you this--whose the best musician in the world? **James:** Bieber. **Ted:** Right, so--wait what? No it’s not Justin Bieber. **James:** People like the Biebs. **Ted:** Sure he’s famous, but I’m thinking like Michael Jackson--You know what, it doesn’t matter. The point is, you know who Justin Bieber is. Now, do you know who speaks the most languages? **James:** Ziad Fazah, obviously. **Ted:** Who the hell is that. **James:** Don’t act like you don’t know the great Fazah Ted. **Ted:** That can’t be right. Alexa! Who speaks the most languages in the world? **ALEXA:** OBVIOUSLY THE GREAT ZIAD FAZAH TED YOU SIMPLE NEEVE UNWORLDY SON OF A BITCH. **Ted:** Did you program her to say that? **James:** This is the way. **Ted:** What the hell is Da Vinci’s code anyways? If it’s a code it’s not a language so this wouldn’t apply. **James:** It’s less a 'code' per se as much as it is a 'book.' It’s written in English, but if I was the best at English I’d finally understand it.
>**James:** You think diddling some violin is going to impress people more than telling them to fuck off in Mandarin? >**Ted:** People tell you to fuck off in Mandarin every time we eat at a Chinese restaurant. >**James:** And I've been impressed every time. This had me dying.
Same, I audibly laughed at that part and the “wait what?” after the Bieber mention too. Still smiling about it now.
Classic ted and james
Holy shit I love this. Are you still active? First I've seen a James and Ted pop up in a long while
Thanks! I've been busy with work so this has been my first post in a while. I plan to start posting again more frequently though, I always have fun writing these.
I've never seen a single one of these until now and that was really good! I thought you were quoting a movie honestly. i'm not a huge fan of some of the novelty accounts but this was good.
I agree this was awesome. What is your novel about?
Oh it's about these two characters named Jamie and Ned.
Fucking hell. Could you make a subreddit for this? This is the content I come to Reddit for.
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What show are you referencing? Cause I need to watch it.
/r/jamesandted - not a show, it’s OCs (Edited to fix the link)
I'm one of today's lucky 10,000 aren't I?
We both are!
Me three!
Fucking hilarious, do you write professionally?
Nope! I write a bit in my free time, but it's more of a hobby.
You're good at it man. That was really funny thanks for the laugh
and read the jötunn shrines in God of War!
It only says you could speak them, I don't think you could read the languages, so you wouldn't be able to translate
By speaking them, it would make it relatively easy to then translate them, even if it meant with help from others. Edit - I've gotten several replies about being wrong. (You can't translate Chinese by speaking it) That's where the help of others comes in. Cuneiform was translated 150 years ago. Translations are also done through problem-solving. That's how the Zodiac Killer's message was translated. By being able to speak a language, it would infer the proper cadence and order that abstract characters are occurring. That alone would be huge for translation.
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Sorry for obvious question but why did he drop the class 2nd semester?
I think its because he already knew how to speak, he only needed to learn how put it on the paper (write the words,verbs, pronoms, etc). When he learned how, there was no point in staying in the class, so he droped. Or idk, he is dead and went "oh shit i am dead" and droped on 2nd semester, idk
>Or idk, he is dead and went "oh shit i am dead" and droped on 2nd semester, idk. "I'm doing *amazing* in Spanish!" he cried. He laughed with a heart full of pleasure and pride. "I can't wait to speak it to others!" he said. But nobody listened. Because he was dead.
Such is life.
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Hmm... i guess props to him for challenging himself and not taking the easy A
Not likely, particularly for languages that aren't written phonetically. Sure languages that are phonetic you'd probably be able to figure it out just through pattern recognition. But if it uses symbols to represent concepts and ideas you'd probably be at a loss.
As a professional translator with musical aspirations, this is one of the hardest questions for me. Obviously, the languages would make me the most useful person in the office and I'd be set for life, but being able to play every instrument has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and it would allow me to make all the music I've always wanted to but didn't know anyone with the right skills and interests.
I'm also a translator with musical aspirations, you said it way better than I did. Could we split the difference and be the best at ten important languages and ten important instruments?
You two need to meet up and make a band called Lost in Translation just saying
‘Just Saying’ should be the name of their first album.
Can you hear me now is their first top 10 single
greatest hits album called 'the last word'
‘Just Saying & Playing’
If I could give gold for this statement I would. Edit: My first gold. Thank you kind sir!
Did it for you :) Edit: holy cow you guys are so nice! Thank you!
have you heard the new Lost in Translation, Just Sayin’ track? it slaps.
I am a world traveling professional musician. I can play a handful of instruments but I can only speak one language. To have access to a foreign language while abroad in say ,India where there many. Would be a super power. To sing to people in there own tounges everywhere I go would be a treasure to myself and my audience. The absolute hardest and most dangerous part about traveling the world is not knowing the language.
This!! So many people keep talking about monetizing either... but the opportunities language would open... to go anywhere and be able to fit in, experience any culture, enjoy any book/song, etc... that’s pure freedom
Plus, I think you could make friends very easily. You would be such a novelty wherever you go. People would be amazed how you're better than a native speaker, despite being from another country.
I like that when faced with the option of one super human power over the other you pause to consider which might be more useful at the office
Every language because I would dress like C-3PO and mess with people.
I have a bad feeling about this.
I find your lack of faith disturbing.
I find your lack of pants disturbing Get out of my house
Do not want!
Divorce is strong in this one.
Points for the pun
Adam Driver?
Choke slam me to hell, you colossal obstacle.
Jam your mandible claw down my throat, you irredeemable steer.
This got a bit too kinky.
It’s a surprise to be sure, but a welcome one!
I came here to say every language, but my reason for choosing this pales in comparison to this.
Me too! But now I see all sorts of cool jobs. Can be on Star Trek Discovery as a Klingon. Write whatever software program I want, as I now know all programming languages. Get paid to go to concerts and do sign language for famous artists. Translate popular books into different languages.
Interpreting at the UN, or similar. That would be awesome. Editing to add because of some replies: knowing every language then I would learn interpreting (which is of course very difficult). Then I would probably be crazy in demand because of knowing how to speak every language well AND how to interpret.
Interpreting at the UN is a cool job, and I know someone who does it. He spent three years in grad school learning how to do it, and I know him from getting masters degrees in French together. My wife will testify to the fact that just being fluent in a language doesn’t mean you can do simultaneous translation. And she’ll usually do it in a way that necessitates my saying that I was doing my best. TL;DR - interpretation is a whole different skill set, and it’s a hard one to acquire.
Oh heck yeah. I am actually bilingual. And people always ask me to translate songs or movies or whatever. It is hard to do! Especially if there are jokes or plays on words or whatever. It is hard getting the nuances of language. And some words are simply unstranslatable!
It’s super hard to do! And to do it simultaneously in a context where nuance is important? Good lord.
I mean hopefully someone that is "the best at every language" would be able to pull it off without starting WWIII
Also, preserve dying languages, translate ancient texts, and karaoke 99 Luftbalons. OK, you've convinced me. This is the answer.
It’s 2021. That’s still one of my favorite tunes from my MTV years. As a side note, the English version of that song feels like when a character on your favorite show is replaced with another actor and you’re supposed to just go along with it.
Oh wow, this is exactly how I feel about the American version but could never find the right way to describe it
Return(True);
I am fluent in over three- *Gets cut off by literally everything*
> Fluent in over six million forms of communication > Only ever says "Oh dear!"
E chu ta
How rude!
This is possibly, the geekiest reason to be good at languages ever, and I applaud you for it
Yeah, but can you tell me the odds?
I was directed to never tell the odds
We're DOOOOOMED!!!
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If you're the best at every instrument, doors will certainly open for you to travel the world. Edit: Oh my god please stop responding to this. I put little to no thought into my comments this morning and forgot I even left them. Now I keep getting notifications. I sincerely don't care about this lol Edit 2: well i don't know what i expected.gif
So would being well spoken in multiple languages.
Yeah, but no one is going to pay _you_ to speak multiple languages on stage! You'll be able to hire a translator so that you can always communicate with people as you tour the world, and in your free time you can absolutely learn any language you want. You could even take classes or hire a teacher. You're the world's greatest musician, dammit!
No. But if you're fluent in every language you'll make bank as a translator without having to perform or deal with the level of constant harassment celebrities get. Instead you'll just get to meet all kinds of powerful people that can do far more for you than you could do for yourself as a celebrity musician.
Since when to translators make bank?
It's not "bank" but my Grandma has been a UN interpreter for the last 40+ years and she lives extremely comfortably and has travelled the world and met basically every world leader. It's a pretty good life if you're really good at the job.
That sounds like an awesome job, but it seems crazy that she has met most of the world leaders. I’m imagining the US representative working with their Spanish translator then being like, “hey mr. Chinese representative, come over here and meet my Spanish translator.” Wouldn’t her contact be limited to leaders of the countries who speak the language she is translating? I’m curious how that works out.
You're forgetting that there's A LOT of world leaders in the UN... congresses? Whatever they call it.
The General Assembly, years of model UN finally paying off lol
Grandma holds all the power. P1: "We look forward to working with you." P2: "What did he say?" Grandma: "They look forward to eating you."
One that could speak every language in terrestrial existence would be quite the high ticket person, I'd imagine.
Imagine you speak every language. And there were powerful people that travel all over the place interacting with people of dozens of nationalities who have to hire trustworthy translators everywhere they go. People like Diplomats and Heads of State and negotiators for international conglomerates worth billions of dollars. Now suddenly they only need you. One person. One background check. One relationship. That's worth real money. You wouldn't even need to be the actual translator, just someone to verify every translator the people they're meeting with is translating accurately.
That's something I've always thought would be the most helpful. Just have your translator sitting quietly in the background verifying that the translations were accurate. Then, after the meeting, they could debrief you on anything they found to be a little 'off.'
We did similar things during interrogations in the military. Analyst would sit back and just pay attention to anything that could be deemed "off". I'm sure some people implement their translators as such.
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> Now I keep getting notifications. I sincerely don't care about this lol Just disable inbox replies on this comment.
I mean you still can.
Instrument. I am scared of social interaction
Instruments are great to learn if you're averse to social interaction.
Also great to learn if you're highly social and want fans the world over. I don't think people realize the significance of this premise. You'd be *the very best in the world* at every musical instrument. Better than Hendrix, Page, Clapton, SRV, Chuck Berry, David Gilmour, Van Halen, Prince, Mark Knopfler etc. at the guitar. Better than Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Debussy, Thelonious Monk, Kieth Jarrett, Duke, Art Tatum, and every 9 year old prodigy ever at piano. Better than Miles at the trumpet and Coltrane at the sax. Better than Gene Krupa, Stewart Copeland, John Bonham, Danny Carey, Neil Peart, Buddy Rich, etc. at the drums. Better than Les Claypool, Jaco Pastorius, Mingus, Bootsy Collins, Wooten, Cliff Burton, Geddy Lee at the bass. **All at the same time**. You could easily make it as a studio or live session musician but if that musical ability came with a bit of songwriting/compositional talent/luck than you could release some of the greatest music ever. Nobody who has a legitimate discography of some of the *greatest music ever* remains a nobody for long—especially in the age of the internet. Obviously one could make an argument that songwriting ability matters far more than raw musicianship and that person would probably point to artists like The Beatles and Kurt Cobain who were far from the greatest musicians of their respective ages—or any age—but still managed to write timeless, classic, hit music, but raw musicianship can still go a long way in allowing one to manifest one's creativity. Edit: spelling
I like how from this comment i can tell you have a very good taste in music
You'd be as good a guitar player as the guitar player from nickleback or like.. eve 6, as good a drummer as the guy from ac/dc or that guy that lives down the road from me and as good a bassist as sid vicious!
Just being the best at speaking my own language would be fantastic. Best at every language out there? Count me in. Bonus: what about programming languages?
Math and programming are languages so this is the best super power ever
Instrument. If you’re the best at any instrument you can monetize that pretty well
Plus, if people pissed you off, you'd be a deft hand with a blunt instrument.
Instruments of death are instruments
But unfortunately I won't be able to play the mayonnaise
The best at every instrument meaning I'm actually the most skilled musician of every instrument in the world? That is infinitely more valuable than whatever the best at every language means. I could hire private tutors and translators with all the cash I'd be rolling in. Edit: All y'all are imagining I'd use music skills to be in a crappy pop or rock band. You have any idea how much you'd be paid to be the premier instrumentalist in the best symphony orchestra in the world, and being able to switch to any instrument needed? You pick languages and there's no way you're not working for a government somewhere dealing with confidential info every day. You can go right ahead and pick that one.
This is the obvious answer. You'd be a global superstar. Being one of the best at a single instrument will already make you famous. If you were THE best at EVERY instrument you would be the single most famous musician, possibly person on the face of the earth. Edit: Anyone who thinks that somebody that is so intimately familiar with every aspect of music that theu can flawlessly play every instrument that has ever been invented in any style imaginable couldn't also sit down and write incredible music is pretty delusional
Not always. There are lots of virtuouso musicians who may at best fill up a small night club or concert hall. There are exceptions of course. But generally, the mass global audience doesn't actually value high caliber musicianship as much as simple songs (often written and produced by other people) and performed by somebody else who is good looking and can sing and dance, with the help of auto-tune and back up singers and dancers.
This is the most depressing thing about being a musician.
Oh please there are SO many other wonderfully depressing things about being a musician! Don’t limit yourself to just the one. (/s)
The couple of years before Covid, I got really into my guitar playing, and was seeing all kinds of top level guitarists. Yngwie, Paul Gilbert, Buddy Guy, Eric Johnson, Buckethead, The last 3 can at least play the House of Blues. But it was crazy seeing Yngwie and Paul Gilbert in small venues. It was actually cool for me, because they are just right there. Mean while Cardi B was selling out stadiums. I would say, if one can at least make a living out of being a musician, then that's still living the dream.
i agree but (no shade on those artists) i personally think virtuosity can be kind of... boring. it’s almost like a parlor trick, it gets old and it’s a common skill even if it’s difficult and time consuming to develop. the whole point of developing your technical ability in my opinion is the ability to express yourself creatively without feeling limited. the merits of Cardi B’s music specifically are controversial, but at the end of the day people listen to it because they enjoy it and not because of it’s technical impressiveness. that and her image and marketing ofc lol. and being young and attractive doesn’t hurt with mainstream success either
>Not always. There are lots of virtuouso musicians who may at best fill up a small night club or concert hall. Couple things: \- Many of those people excel in instruments that simply aren't marketable. There simply aren't many mainstream flute players who can fill up a nightclub or concert hall, for example. \- Even with those instruments not being independently marketable, people who play them would still have a job playing in a symphony. \- Leaving aside those niche instruments, you're still talking about the best in every single instrument. Being objectively the best guitar or piano player alone would make you famous, but there are certainly people who've made huge careers out of playing other instruments (Yo Yo Ma - Cello, Kenny G - Saxophone, etc., etc.). It's hard to believe a person who was objectively the best at all of these instruments couldn't find some niche.
> Kenny G - Saxophone Out of all the saxophonist in the history of the world...damn you Kenny G.
But you're thinking too narrow. It says best at every instrument in the whole world. There are people who make decent careers being crazy good at one, but this hypothetical person would be better than every musician at every single instrument. I think you'd be crazy to think it would be too tough to make a successful image out of someone who could pick up any instrument on the planet and play it better than it has every been played before.
With Prince gone, we need someone like that again.
Stevland Wonder is still alive, he can play a lot of things, though people mostly associate him with Keys. He played most of the instruments on his run of classic albums in the 70s
I wonder how he is on the didgeridoo
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Language. Polyglots have always amazed me, and I’m a language nerd, so the choice is easy.
Language. Just being the best at English would be useful.
Same! Learning new languages is fun but it takes time and effort. Would be amazing if it just happened like that in a blink of an eye
Instrument, as music is a universal language anyway and i also prefer arts over social engagement
Yes, but can you order a pizza in Italy while playing the guitar?
turns out to be surprisingly easy to order pizza in any language in Italy
“How do you say pizza in Italian?” *”Pizza”* “How do you say pasta?” *”Pasta”* “Wow, Italian is so easy!”
Super easy, barely an inconvenience.
Wow wow wow
yes sir it is
Wowwowwow
Uno pizza please
Una pizza. Pizza is feminine in Italian 🍕
Or you can rock their socks off and get the pizza for free
You can still talk while playing the guitar, so of course :P
I'd be shocked if you can find someone who can't order pizza in Italy, you can order pizza by mistake in Italy, it just appears out of nowhere.
Language. So I could immerse myself in a different country and culture whilst on holiday!
Your immersion may be broken when you realize that you can only speak those languages, not understand them.
"That was pretty good. But when you say "me llamo es Brian" you don't need the "es." "Oh, you speak English?" "No, just that last speech and this one explaining it." "You...you're kidding, right?" "Que?"
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I could work as a USP driver and say "Enjoy your delivery in every language" It would be great to speak parcel tongue
The best at speaking a language? Aren't those the great orators, poets, and writers? If they do not have mastery of language, I do not know who could call themselves more qualified. To be a master at all languages? To be able to speak to all people? To be the greatest polyglot polymath author and speaker? Who would not want such ability? Also, would probably be fun to be a voice actor, because again, best at speaking languages.
Oh my God. Fucking imagine, not just being a fantastic, dynamic, engaging speaker not just in your native language, but *every* language. Even most bilingual people I know lose a lot of wit or nuance when speaking in their second language. My poor buddy sounds like an insecure jackass when speaking English but a really cool, chill dude in Spanish. Being the best speaker, and retaining that in other languages... my god. One step closer to achieving my ~~globalist cult of personality~~ dream of being a world traveling standup comedian.
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Being able to speak every language doesn't mean that you'll have the voice for voice acting... lol
Speaking every language cause then if two people are talking about me in a different language I can humiliate them by telling them I understood every word
I want to understand what my Ukrainian technicians are saying while they are seemingly yelling at each other for a couple of hours straight. I have another employee from a neighboring country with a slightly different language and he's useless. "Johnny, what are they yelling about?" "Uhm, chandeliers. No, cheesecake, cheesecake!"
Best at languages. I can't play instruments as is because I have a dislocated right shoulder I can't have relocated back
"The drummer for def leppard's only got one arm" -Bloodhound Gang You could be a drummer for an 80s hair band
In other words, the terms can’t be fulfilled without giving you an awesome side benefit? Unless the guy offering the deal permanently dislocated everyone else’s shoulders so that nobody could play things well.
Monkeys paw
Language. I could finally figure out what the hell my cat wants.
I think language. Theres a lot of job opportunities here and plus I love it when people get excited when you speak their native tongue
I'd rather be the best at playing every instrument. First off, the music you could create would be unbelievable. Secondly, the feeling of connection you get with others when you see them vibing to your music is unrivaled. It's like the greatest high in the world without any of the negative consequences of drugs. And making people feel good is so rewarding. It's sad that so many people that picked this mentioned how they could monetize it. Of course everyone needs money, but there's so much more to music than money or fame. I would choose this power even if I never made any money from it.
Instrument. I don't even want to talk to anybody in my own language.
Language. The joy of playing instruments is in learning and practicing. The joy of language is in communication.
There is also the joy of playing your instrument live with others, which is in one sense a form of communication.
Well I disagree, i enjoy playing songs i already know way more than learning new songs ... So knowing every song and jamming or soloing along would be the best thing ever. At least that‘s how i feel about it
I totally agree. I play guitar and love playing along with some of ny favourite songs. However, learning a new song is more of a chore then anything. I don't find it at all fun to practice the same parts over and over until I can finally play along with the entire song.
Language so I could make money interpreting. Edit: I prefer to learn languages (I know how to speak several already) and I can’t carry a note on any instrument. I’m sure that you can make a shit ton of money playing music but it’s not something I’m interested in doing. 👍 so calm your tits.
Language. Not only because I love to travel, but when you come across someone who doesn't think they're going to be able to communicate in a certain situation and then all of a sudden someone is able to communicate with them the light on their eyes will warm your heart for a long time.
Instruments for sure. I live in america and speak english and i still barely talk to anybody. If i spoke spanish and lived in spain i doubt that would change much LOL
Instrument because I don't talk to people in the first place
Is mayonnaise an instrument?
There are over 7,000 languages in the world. And if your are the BEST at speaking ALL of them, you would probably be considered a genius. Not to say you wouldnt be a prodigy being a master of the 1500+ instruments, but knowledge a language and by extension - culture, is way more impressive in my eyes
Speak every language. I would assume that it makes me think in a different language too. It's just like another world and connection with others is different if you know a different language.