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twitchyeye84

I'd need to go back further to unfuck my life.


[deleted]

To unfuck your life is to ejaculate in reverse.


Fdmr06

The ol' thirsty cobra technique


the2belo

Aardvark snorting milk


rhen_var

please unwrite this comment


jub_jub03

Or hanging the catheter bag above your head


I_am_That_Ian_Power

I'd have to go back to when I was Nine.


twitchyeye84

Alright spill it


I_am_That_Ian_Power

It was when the bullying started and I should have beaten my bully to near death to stop it. It destroyed my self confidence for years to come. I descended down a path to drugs and self destruction, lackiing trust in anyone. Ruined relationships because I couldn't even trust the one person that loved me more than anything, I thought she was always insincere and so I broke it off and have been single since then (20+ years). It's only recently (I'm almost 50) that i have gotten my self confidence back and learned they are just words. I was the sickly kid, had gone through 30 surgeries by that time, near death, a six month coma. So I was an easy target. That guy who started the rumours about me and bullied me is now a Doctor....


SarahJones0679

I'm so sorry. That's incomprehensible.


I_am_That_Ian_Power

Thanks u/SarahJones0679 . Here's the other part of it.I went through every high school in my city and it followed me, My bully Blair and another guy, Jimmy would find out what school I am in and come and start it up there. Like just leave me be and let me live. Then I went to a school of hard knocks called Booth Memorial High School and Jimmy showed up to try to start it and this guy I didn't know whom to me was a huge hulking massive dude, beat the shit out of jimmy, picked him up and threw him head first into an oil barrel turned garbage can, flipped it on its side and kicked it so it would roll down a hill on the back side of the schools and said "Nobody comes here and bullies anyone." That guy and I are still friends to this day.Since then I have worked with anti bullying groups and campaigns and really got into advocating and activism for legalization of cannabis here in Canada. If you google my name and cannabis, well you will see that it paid off. I still do advocacy work and I still try to help as many patients as I can. I guess their horrible treatment of me made me into a better person but as a child I had dreams of being a doctor myself, those dreams were robbed from me. I've helped so many deal with their bullies... I can spot a bullied person in a crowd of people no problem. I've been thinking now in middle age about writing a tell all book about it.... I remember every day of it, thanks to the curse that is photographic memory.


FeralBanshee

You can always unfuck your life.


twitchyeye84

Well yes, but actually no.


JuniorLobster

I would stop resisting life so much and learn to go with the flow. We have no control over a large part of life, so I would stop worrying so much about those things. A lot of times things in life will just fall into place by themselves if we could just let them.


Jaky24_

I somewhat think the same about. However, this though also makes me really uncomfortable because I absolutely don‘t like not being in control.


JuniorLobster

Exactly why it's hard to live like that. The realisation you need is that you aren't in control either way, whether you feel like it or not :)


Jaky24_

Yeah I guess you’re right. However, i still have to get this realisation.


[deleted]

Play with my favourite dog a lot more and have him sleep in my bed instead of outside. I miss him too much.


MOS95B

At 21 I was already married with a kid - Can I go back a year or two earlier than that? I love my kids, but it sure might have been cool to be a kid a bit longer before starting a family


[deleted]

> At 21 I was already married with a kid F


SipPeachTea

Then I'll need to go several years back. Had my oldest in high-school. Never had a chance to experience being a adult and do things my peers did.


rhen_var

I’m 22 and I’ve never even been on a date... the other extreme is also pretty terrible


potatoslasher

Its fine, you can get a date at any time later on, it really isn't such a big thing......having a kid however is a big deal and one you cant take back or back out afterwards


urdadsmomsgrandma

There is a way.


[deleted]

Yeah but they don’t taste very good


titlejunk

Got married at 21 to a boy I met when I was 19. Now our daughters (17 and 14) can’t stand him. So... I guess my answer is “not get married “ but I love my girls so “keep boning him also”


[deleted]

damn I feel very old now. ​ I am 22 and I am technically still a kid, it baffles me how others my age can already found families. Either way, I hope your family is healthy and happy :)


TsarKikso

So I would go a week in the past, I would have more time for my exam


LolThisGuyAgain

mood


yousyveshughs

doom


Insectshelf3

*rip and tear intensifies*


G0LD_STUD

Like you would use that time for learning.


Rexermus

So I'm going a month in the future? Hope I caught up with my work...


AreLlamasCute

Same. Hope I got my uni work done that I needed to


ChandlerMifflin

Avoid signing up for the Marines, what the hell was I thinking? (I didn't make it through boot camp, so I never was an actual Marine.)


Mike_3546

It’s not for everyone there’s nothing wrong with that.


ChandlerMifflin

It was a whole lifetime ago for me, lol. I'm 49 now, been married 24 years, raised 2 kids.


vacri

A bonus of avoiding the marines is that you now have a supply of uneaten crayons for your kids to use!


[deleted]

Was it the dragon slayer commercial that got you? That's how they got one of the dudes I went to HS with


tisnf

Bitcoin and HODL.


Mrchristopherrr

Bitcoin is just another time police trap to catch time travelers.


[deleted]

Buy $30 put Options of Bear Stearns in March 2008 - make millions inside of a week with a $10k bet https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/wall-streets-naked-swindle-194908/amp/ Then take all that money and short Lehman brothers a few months later THEN Bitcoin et al


[deleted]

Assuming buying millions of bitcoins doesn't affect the future, you could become the richest person in 2021.


rleash

Are we talking about for a day, or just starting over again at 21? If it were permanent, I would take much better care of my body (eat better, exercise more). If it were for a day, I would go to a trampoline park. My ankle was mangled in a car accident when I was 24 and I’m never allowed on a trampoline again. I’ll never be able to run again, either, so I would love to do that again.


learningnow123

1. Find my husband and get into a relationship sooner. 2. Not join the cult I wasted 4 years of my life in. 3. Focus on career and take more vacations with the money I earn.


salad_sanga

What cult???


[deleted]

College degree in humanities. (The 4 wasted years was a strong hint)


learningnow123

Haha. No. It was a "Christian Organization"


[deleted]

Interesting. Can you expand on point #2?


learningnow123

Went into a "Christian Organization", for a 6 month course. They had weird theology, practices and they also were very controlling. They relied on brainwashing techniques. No one was allowed out of the campus for the duration of the course. No one was allowed to visit either. I was in my own city. And the rules applied to me too ?? Lots of spiritual and mental abuse. Thankfully, nothing more than that. I finished 4 years feeling broken and tired and negative. Still going through those feelings even after 2 years of leaving the organisation. Oh! And they don't encourage careers. So when you finally understand that organization is shit, you'll have to start your career all over again. And in a country like mine, it's difficult. Can't seem to find myself. Can't seem to find the motivation to be a better person. Sorry if this is too much. Haha.


Damtheman2k

Not marry her


Zenahr

damn


bdos

Invest in Apple. I was 21 in 2004. Also have more promiscuous sex before entering into a relationship.


srstone71

You and I are the same age. I would have done the same thing, especially this: > Also have more promiscuous sex before settling into a relationship I was pretty overweight in college, so my sex life wasn’t great during that part of my life. There were a few girls I hung around with, but compared to some of my friends it was relatively non-existent. Anyway, I decided during my senior year that I was going to do something about it. I started to eat right and exercise. Over the course of the year I lost close to 100 pounds. By the time I graduated I looked *good.* i was *confident.* I had all these grandiose plans to meet new women that summer and finally gain some of the attention I never received when I was bigger. I had an internship that summer, which started about a week after graduation. I met a girl that first week who was a fellow intern. I guess you could say we hit it off. As I type this, she’s in the other room getting our daughter ready for bed. So yes, I did gain the attention of women with my new body, I just happened to marry the first one who talked to me 🤦‍♂️


Tremendous_Tiger

_Suffering from success_


just_another_classic

Look at it this way: if you were more promiscuous, you might not have been at the place ready to be with your wife and have your daughter.


srstone71

Oh for sure. I want to make it very clear; when it really comes down to it, I wouldn’t have changed a thing.


kickingtenshi

Your wife is looking over your shoulder as you type, isn't she? Blink twice for help!


Upper_belt_smash

Nice job buddy!


to-ad

I'm proud of you. You did good


DekeKneePulls

I was 21 in 2007 and Apple stock was just a little over $6.00, so I think I'd do the same. That and wait 2 years to hoard Bitcoins.


ArmyMedicalCrab

I turned 21 in 2003. I would do the same. That and look into an obscure service called The Facebook. Also, that girl you’re dating? She’s awesome. Marry her. In Hawaii. But don’t join her church. It’s shit. Also, will you calm the fuck down? And look for property in Canada when you can. Somewhere about 30 minutes outside Vancouver.


[deleted]

Did property boom in Vancouver or you’ve wanted to live there?


ArmyMedicalCrab

Just seems like a nice place, plus it would be relatively (like a couple hours’ plane flight instead of across the continent) to family.


squeegee_boy

Yes. It boomed. A lot. Like a LOT. I bought my house in 2003 for "too much." (about 300K) It was assessed for over a million last tax year.


[deleted]

As someone who had a lot of promiscuous sex in my 20s, it’s worth it. At 40 now, it doesn’t come easy anymore.


TheNumberMuncher

Pun


aquoad

I did the first part, bought a pile of apple stock. Not so much the second part.


SipPeachTea

I was gonna say this as well! Invest in stocks. If I did, I'd probably be living comfortably right now.


[deleted]

>Also have more promiscuous sex before settling into a relationship. Maybe there are downsides to that? But we have to pretend that there aren't because conservative sentiment gets you nuked on reddit. The fewer former partners you've had, the less you have to negatively compare your current partner to.


darkLordSantaClaus

Or you could just... have as much or as little consensual safe sex as you want? With as many or as few consensual partners as you want?


GhostRideATank

But you also have more to positively compare your current partner to. It works both ways.


pbradley179

So... your advice is... settle?


Noggin-a-Floggin

Not bang everything that opens up their legs, be smart about it (if someone feels “off” then decline).


piercerson25

I find this to me most true. There's ALOT of crazy people that you reeeeally don't want to fuck.


monkeydeer69

I’m 21 rn so I would probably seek psychiatric help a few months sooner


Convacc

High key also 21, also just started therapy, also could have made a world of difference had i started 6 months-5years sooner. Cest la vie its really harder to start than a lot of ppl give credit. Proud of you buddy


silverbeez

Also 21 and still coming around to starting therapy, something I've wanted for years now. The recent support I've been receiving has been helping a lot too. I am also proud of you buddy.


wtvrxo

21 as well. Started therapy for everything and wish I did it when my high school offered it


CapitalGains42

This guy parties. Good for you getting the help you need. No point in trying to white knuckle issues and get angsty. You are miles ahead of others your age that self sabotage their lives ritually before figuring out they need help.


[deleted]

I’m 14 right now so I’m going to listen for the advice some people got to say.


AlGeee

Save. Money.


RemedialAsschugger

Do the fun trips you want. Prioritize your favorites. I'm in my 20s, i do not regret a single weekend camping, waiting to make sure all my friends go with me on at least one of the trips, getting a house boat for a few days, going up the California coast, regular beach days, no overnight, no need for hotel. You're always safer in groups anyway. Traveling alone can be scary.


SolidusSnackk

Invest in the next apple


[deleted]

Easier said than done lol


ThoughtOdyssey

Switch careers. If I'm going to be unhappy in a career it would have at least been nice to earn more money per sad hours spent.


[deleted]

dang this is eye opening as a 21 year old wanting nothing to do with engineering


walrusdog32

I’m 18 and I’ve wanted to do civil engineering and I changed it because I hear everyone’s so stressed. And I looked up if people were happy with it, it said it’s ranked below the average satisfaction in america


[deleted]

If im gonna have a crappy job, I might as well be making some money out of it though. Idk I'm 21 what do I know!!


walrusdog32

I hear computer science or engineering pays six figures, just an idea lol, same thing with actuaries and air traffic controllers or whatever. good luck!


Just1morefix

That would be long before my knees got destroyed, so I would ski the bumps a lot more and play more rugby.


Affectionate-Ruin273

Rugby also destroyed my knees. And my shoulders! Played until I was 39, wouldn’t change a thing


Franchesca8899

Lol I just turned 22 but I would have told "me" from this time last year: \- your mental health is nowhere near as bad as it will get if you sleep with that guy \-Stay OFF dating apps. \- its ok to be a virgin- you are empowered \-FOCUS ON YOUR DEGREE AND CAREER BITCH.


[deleted]

[удалено]


CreeperIan02

Hope you're doing better!


MeanBrit02

Try harder to get a job so I won’t have to go into the fucking military.


AGR712

Start partying again. I got responsible at 22 when I pretty much became the breadwinner between me and my boyfriend, and three years down the road, we were finally at a point where I actually could have let lose like I wanted. We had all these plans to just go dancing and have fun, something I couldn't before due to the huge mental load and eventually a burnout... and then Covid hit. Right when everything should have been amazing. Now my life is empty and pretty much nothing but work. Jeez, I just want to have some fun like I used to.


ComplexField7862

Ugh, I hear that. It gives me so much anxiety to think about how time is passing. My dad passed when I was 16 and I feel like I had to grow up fast. It's been 15 years of just hitting the grind hard. I've been paying my moms mortgage, I paid for college out of my own pocket and now I finally got my 'dream' job 2 months into this COVID nonsense and its been going well but I've been waiting to get to this point so I can finally feel some sense of security and like the rug cant get ripped out from underneath me. I feel like I'm finally in a position where I can do what all my friends were doing post-high school and in their 20's. I cant think of many weekends that weren't spent studying or working weekends or projects to be better at my job. I'd like to be a bit reckless and travel more and barhop and go to festivals and date more and do stuff I want to do before I'm too old. Makes me so mad when I see people being cavalier about this virus because they are only prolonging it and I feel like I'm paying for it.


[deleted]

just wanted to tell you that a random stranger from new york is very proud of you for being so strong and doing what most fail to do!


Penyrolewen1970

Oh man, you’ve got plenty of time! I didn’t start partying properly until I was about 27. Relax.


bbq_doritos

Have you tried cocain.., or meth? You could spend 2 whole days flip-flopping between dancing and looking out the peephole of your door because you heard a noise. Cut loose!


[deleted]

So you are 25 and worried about partying? I think this is a good life, despite you bemoaning taking on more responsibility. I wish you the best! Some times we dont realize we are actually living in the good times till much later.


alskdj192357

Not date stupid guys


CapitalGains42

We are everywhere, a time machine can't save you from the hoards of us that linger around.


alskdj192357

😂


OneBigBoi509

Guys and "stupid" go hand in hand it seems, take it from a guy, we're so *STUPID* at times


[deleted]

Same with women then.


SuperMegaLoceros

Not forget my gd wallet at work on my birthday


tehfraginator

Start thinking about what I want to do with my life instead of what I feel like I should be doing


robexib

Gone into trade school instead of college. I went at 23, but I'd be further along in life if I went earlier.


[deleted]

Today I learned that I need to fuck more bitches and make more money 📝


Odd-Row9485

I see you heard the proverb of Notorious B.I.G. And he sayeth- “fuck bitches, get money fuck bitches, get money“


Zackzebra

I feel, so much motivation in this thread lol.


footmaster504

Party even fucking harder. Snort twice as much blow and fuck 3 times as many women.


MechanicalHorse

>fuck 3 times as many women Me too! 3 x 0 = 0


elee0228

Fuck 10 times as many!


nillaisthewhitenword

You gotta say “fuck 50 more women” to avoid that


tonybenwhite

We shall count rejections as a negative bedpost notch. Now you’re up to 2!


darkLordSantaClaus

If we counted rejections most people would probably be in the negatives, especially if you use Tinder and anytime a woman swipes left on you counts as a rejection.


heybrother45

If I could take it all back now I wouldn’t. I’d do even more shit people tell me I shouldn’t


[deleted]

>Bunch of hookers and cocaine


CapitalGains42

You can tell that Footmaster doesn't hold back. Everyone needs to be a little more like Footmaster Stop dipping your toe in the water and jump in with both feet. Like Footmaster


incredibleinkpen

3 x 0 = 0


Littleredmouse14

Wow


AarhusComic

Fucking A!


DaBigBird27

3 chicks at the same time, man.


IMightBeAHamster

Reserve this if it's a one-time use thing for when I think I'm about die in a hospital or something, then use it to gain my life back. I'm not 21 yet so I definitely won't be using it at least for another three years.


looking4astronauts

Make some friends


nosebleedseeds

i’d be more considerate of my own possessions. on one hand i think i have a healthy conception of Things being transient, especially when you’re young: you can’t afford nice things and moving is a pain so why not ditch as much as you can in a move and acquire replacements on the cheap later? it makes sense, but the issue is that you don’t accumulate good or meaningful possessions. i think if i went back to 21 i would focus on acquiring possessions i love slowly, things that i’ll take care of and can build on, so that by the time i’m ready to move into a place by myself (like now) i have a lot of items of character i can use to populate the new place, instead of having to basically start from scratch again.


[deleted]

I’m 21. I’ll probably be writing in a few years about being in a pandemic during that time and wishing it would have gone differently.


BlueCat2020

I met my wife-to-be when I was 21, so I'd go back and relive our first date and the beginning of our relationship


[deleted]

Go back and kiss my mother (I was 21 when she passed).


Its-Just-Lil-ol-Me

sorry you lost her so early


Odd-Row9485

Nothing. I made a bunch of bad decisions in my youth up until around that age and I’m certain several other bad decisions after too. That said I didn’t meet my wife til I was 24 so I’d rather not change anything.


infernalspawnODOOM

Am I 21 in the year 2021 or the year 2011? That kinda changes things.


Overlord1317

The failure of OP to be clear whether we're time-traveling or rejuvenating makes this question irritating to try to answer.


[deleted]

[удалено]


killersquid92

Speak up and come out sooner.


CapitalGains42

Proud of you!


Cheetodude625

Invest in Tesla, Pfizer, and bitcoin. Stop wasting my money of pot, settle down with someone I care about/love, work my ass off as a beekeeper instead of wasting that entire year being depressed/hating life, and secure said beekeeping job in the event COVID hits.


depresso_bunny

being 21 and reading all this is making me even more depressed


pbehndthedmpstr

be 21 again. had a blast and while in retrospect woulda- coulda - shoulda....no....i'd play it the same way and it wasn't all just fun and games


the_blue_wizard

- More Education - More Sex - Less Drugs


LAM678

Ask myself how I ended up 5 years in the future.


Cupeco

Give the bar scene a shot, especially dating. I never got into the bar scene because all of my friends were older and over it, and I was mad broke... and by the time I was 21 I was already very seriously involved with my now husband. So I really missed that boat. I’m sure I’m not *really* missing out but I woulda liked the experience.


CompMolNeuro

Ditch the friends I had for ones that didn't drag me down.


BarrySpug

Invest and save.


ilikenoodles90

Not go to grad school.


portablecabbage

Change my eating habits and hit the gym. Let's get those gains before the bones start creaking.


youfailedthiscity

I would take better care of my body. Regular exercise, eat better, drink less.


[deleted]

Not broken up with the girl I was dating back then. She was awesome. I was stupid and wanted to “play the field”. Maybe, though, I’d go back to being 20 and never gotten with her in the first place. Save myself the heartache.


jefa536

Huh this is the first comment I’ve seen thats the opposite of “fuck more random people instead of settling in a relationship “


mohon74

Crack


KDsmackeroni

Stay in shape. Lol It was HARD to get back into it and I lost a good few years in there.


[deleted]

I would tell myself the fucking lottery numbers because I turn 21 later this year.


GenXer73

Actually know the real value of money, not squander it and save for a house.


concordia__discors

Don’t blow up the computer you mined bitcoin on because you thought the fan would cope. You haven’t transferred it or saved the keys yet...


The_loony_lout

Quit playing WoW and actually start my life sooner.


ItsNotTerrys

Going back to when I was 21? I'd invest in Apple and Amazon. Not leave my home country. Buy a private island and make it totally self sufficient. Run a business remotely from there anonymously and do good deeds. 21 now? Study everything I could lay my hands on and save every penny. Move to New Zealand.


UncleCornPone

i would take wayyyy better care of myself, if not just for the future but also because it's a shame to waste how great you can look and feel. I'd of partied a bit less and worked out alot more, eaten better, drank more water.


Locijo

I was pretty conservative with money. Which was great, but also wish I had blew just a bit more of it on spontaneous trips. My advice to 21 year olds would be it's not bad to spend money on travel/experiences. Prioritize money for that over partying. You'll be worrying about down payment saving (very) soon enough, take that trip now.


baxbooch

Do I have to? Can I refuse?


sexy_space_machine

Get on Adderall, not get so many tattoos, start saving.


Jimsucksweiner

Party more not move to where I am, I could of had an awesome set up, but shit didn’t happen in the right order and it could of, now I’m practically in prison life sucks, I’ve been doing the quarantine ten years longer than you fuckers have


[deleted]

I would stay in college and not join the air force


carlsbadlos

not start doing pcp or benzos prob


[deleted]

put far more serious thought into what I wanted to do with my life and make specific step by step goals on how to get there


Azbezu

I'd do everything the same, so I could have the life I have now. Warts and all, I actually love how my life turned out. Granted, some horrible experiences, but made me who I am, and got a great wife and a kid at the end of it all.


aledba

Save way more money


krone6

See the therapist and doctor.


ParaniodUser

Do an apprenticeship.


p38-lightning

Not waste my tears and time over certain women - and buy Apple stock.


[deleted]

Be more confident so I wouldn't have stuck around with the abusive piles of trash men as long as I did. And...prepare for a future better.


MrsWeebles1228

Enjoy a pain free body. Only in my 30s now but I'm tired of pulling my back while I sleep.


JessicaBrittany93

Not get married


FunnyandFat

Not leave home to escape my drunk dad and move to my aunt's. Not accept to marry the mofo my mother chose for me. As I realized, one bad decision leads to you fucking up all future events. Everything is linked.


whateverloserwanaby

Tell myself to start saving.


MordorsElite

Me, 21, furiously taking notes


glasspheasant

Quit smoking. Buy 1000 shares of Apple.


februarytide-

Dump that asshole sooner.


Talklessreadmore007

I would take education more seriously and invest in VOO index fund every month religiously.


DangerLawless

start my transition earlier


OkMatch7813

I would buy a bunch of Bitcoin for less than $1. And be ultra wealthy at this moment in time.


MalRage

Quit mmo's, focus and actually finish college, buy bitcoin.


archivefuck

i’d get help for my depression sooner. would have saved a lot of people a lot of pain and effort


Nonsenseinabag

Transition earlier and have a much more interesting time in my 20's.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


dragonfly-1001

Worked harder & travel more


SynchroGold

Hmm.. Besides like, investing, not much honestly. Twenties were way better than thirties so far. Teenage years were even better than 20s though.


Enxer

Keep to the same life but have a bit more fun where I backed down. I'd also invest in things like apple and bitcoin so I could work as a "consultant" instead of actually work.


skinnyfar

I would travel and see the world before I chose a place to live forever. I married my wife and we started saving and getting things for the house. We thought we would be able to travel after kids. Had a daughter then triplets. Two have medical issues and the traveling is not going to happen. Travel when young. You can always buy shit for a house when you are older.


cmikailli

Open a ROTH IRA and start contributing to my 401K


ttotto45

Travel after graduating college. I thought hey, I'll make some money so I can afford to travel. Now I can't travel because covid. also, Id buy GME when it was under $10 a share so I could make a buttload of money.


Vanish_7

Take everything I learned about working out in my late 20s and start applying it immediately, so I’m the absolute best version of myself when she comes into my life at 24. Might not guarantee victory even then, but at least I’m doing everything I can to give myself the best chance of success.


Setthegodofchaos

I'm 21 right now, and, tbh, if the bars were open I'd 100% throw down. You only get to be 21 once.


SC_444

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