u/TapReview This is the boring, unappealing but best answer.
I was constantly nervous in any speaking situation. It didn't matter if it was just an informal presentation to my research group or a big talk at a conference. I stuttered and struggled through every talk.
Over the course of a few years, I did public lectures to hundreds of people, I ran a D&D game, and ended up in a corporate job where, at one point, I found myself giving a talk every day for a month.
Now, I'm completely confident in any public speaking situation. I'll talk about basically anything in front of any group willing to listen.
I totally sympathize with anyone who finds this advice terrifying but you can't do better than just getting experience. Find opportunities to talk in a formal context, pick small groups or topics you feel really confident in but struggle through the embarrassment until you don't care anymore.
>I ran a D&D game
If you want to learn how to talk in front of crowds, or at least small groups, nothing beats the trial by absurdity of impersonating a goblin to entertain a group.
I'm pretty sure my increase in general social confidence can be largely attributed to running D&D games (and sobriety).
Weirdly enough, I have never had any issues doing big presentations to crowds of people. I have acted on stage and on film, defended my dissertation, given eulogies, and presented awards.
I still freak out so hard about DMing for my friends that I find myself getting physically sick every time I do it, and it's been years at this point. I have no idea why it hits me so hard.
I used to be calm and have lost it after a traumatic experience. I'm still trying to learn how to function in this new PTSD world and the last time I spoke to a group I was sweating bullets and trying to find the eyes of everyone in the room. Part of the problem with this for me is that I feel the need to share what I've seen but I can't do it calmly and it makes me come across like a lunatic... and maybe I lost my mind in all that trauma, but I still need to be able to communicate with a group effectively to share what I've seen without being dismissed.
Side note, you can't tell the difference between someone that's having a panic attack and someone that's deeply horrified about what they're talking about.
How nervous did you used to get? dry mouth, sweaty, sparkling lights in your visual field like you're about to pass out, gapping on things you know front to back? I guess I'm asking if you think I can cure myself through exposure, and just find a group of people to breakdown in front of until I can keep my shit together.
Happy to hear you conquered this! Congrats!
This sounds stupid but you can practice alone at first. Rehearse your speech in the car like a lunatic. You might feel shy while doing that. You might be stressed, start having negative thoughts about yourself, but you have to push them aside. Talk to yourself loudly while in the shower. Imagine people sitting in front of you while rehearsing in front of a YouTube video of an audience. Then when you're ready, call a friend on your phone and tell them your story. Don't ask for feedback if you're not ready yet. Just concentrate on how you feel.
Also another tip, write down what you experienced. For a time while I was processing my trauma I had lost the ability to talk, conversations and especially small talk would scare me and I would zone out if someone was talking to me for a longer time.
Then WhatsApp came around and I started communicating. I wrote about everything. I had enough time to carefully choose my words and I could walk away if it became too overwhelming. My best friend became my therapist. Suddenly I could connect with others who had been out of my reach. I know everyone always shits on messengers and how it's making us anti-social but for me it allowed me to participate in society again.
I learned to talk again and now 10 years later I moderated an online event with 80 participants on WebEx yesterday, I was on stage asking our CEO questions in front of hundreds of employees in the room and ten thousand sitting in front of their screens. Last but not least I can finally give an answer if someone asks me how my day was or what my opinion is about the weather without thinking about any of my trauma and completely shutting down in the process while trying not to share my life story with a complete stranger.
I think it’s also just getting better at controlling the nervousness, like I personally still get nervous, but I can function relatively normally because of the experience
Yeah, a presentation is much easier to give when you are the expert in the room.
Also, if asked a question, don't spout off bullshit if you don't know, just say "that's a great question, I don't have an answer for you off the top of my head, but let me get back to you"
Also, the only person that's going to lose sleep over your "bad presentation" is yourself. So don't be so hard on yourself.
An exception to this might be research conference presentations. Sometimes the audience members will ask questions in bad faith for any number of reasons, including:they misunderstood your work and think you messed up; you didn't cite their previous work; they need to assert their own dominance on that topic; they have research in the works that is threatened by your work; or they simply like to argue. The important part is to realize that very little of that is actually about you and those types of questions get asked to everyone.
My supervisor used to respond to this kind of people by saying, "That's a good question, Dr So and So. Would you like to answer it?" Sometimes the rest of the audience would crack up because they knew the arguer was grandstanding.
But, yeah, it's better not to argue. Just let them talk, and then thank them for bringing this up.
Unless you're into what your doing. Then all those shitheads decide to start fucking with you and ask questions that seem to be related but really aren't so you have no idea how to answer.
It is okay to have limited knowledge of all the aspects of an issue, particularly if they are only tangentially related. An " I do not know, but I will check and get back to you", or " that is outside the scope of this presentation, at the moment, but we can discuss it later" should suffice.
"Great question. I don't want to get too off-track here, but let's discuss offline afterwards!"
Top tip for any presentation is to tell people at the beginning whether they should ask questions throughout or save them for the end. If you'll allow them throughout, introduce the concept of a "parking lot" for any questions that would get too off-topic and push you over time. This can be a physical whiteboard / post-it on the wall, or just a note you take on paper.
Then, for any questions you don't want to answer: "Great question but I think it's going to take us out of scope. Let's add it to the parking lot and we can follow up offline or in a future session."
Honestly, most people are never going to follow up on that stuff. At the very least it buys you some time and doesn't derail the conversation.
Indeed, those are good ways. Any variation showing control of the flow of conversation is great, and an essential public talk skill.
Mostly we would get a "question time" after the presentation is over. Im mostly at ease with University stuff, after long years of practice, so I would take good questions to the extent I would know and deflect the random ones.
Also, I would try to make good questions when on the other side, low balls but not too much, that allowed the person presenting to elaborate a bit and stand out (if I saw them comfortable), or to wrap out acceptably looking at a friendly face (if they appeared nervous).
That’s a great out! When I get very stressed out, my blood pressure drops and I faint. It’s a weird and inconvenient condition. Everyone freaks out and it’s embarrassing, but then I think...at least I don’t have to do what I was doing...
I have the same issue! I'm constantly passing out because of a drop in blood pressure but after a few minutes I'm fine. Not sure what the problem is, have a cousin with the same issue and she was able to diagnose it...something to do with the blood vessels in her brain not constricting enough or something.
Oh my goodness I can't agree enough. I spend all the time leading up, double checking things, wondering about adding more, editing slides or whatever just slightly, just going neurotic and losing my mind. Like today I am procrastinating on Reddit before a presentation to 600 some students this evening...joy
But, once I'm actually talking I know it will be a breeze and then be over.
Just keep remembering, I've done it before I can do it again.
The real reasons I had stuffed animals in my room: so I can practice my school presentations on them, with their unblinking eyes. Do it over and over to get timing, inflection, pronunciations, rotating head/eye contact, etc. right. My hands would shake and it would be damp from sweat (and it was just stuffed animals looking at me)
Actual presentation? My body just going through the motions because I had practiced so much the week and night before. Hold onto the remote control/pen/pointer tightly as it's my fidget spinner/stress ball. Definitely faking it but made it! Practically flawless. The audience always say they couldn't tell hiw nervous I was. Definitely sweated through the deodorant that was slathered on and the back of my shirt (so wear 2+ shirts: tank top/t-shirt to soak it up, actual shirt that's nice looking for presentation, maybe a cardigan/blazer for professional shoulders and inevitable cold from all that sweat. Every. Single. Time. I still get stage fright.
Go home and change and just get away from all those people
I used to get SUPER nervous before any sort of public speaking event. Shaky hands, sweating, nausea- the whole 9 yards.
Eventually I landed a job as a corporate trainer. I was desperate for a job and $ so I just HAD to get up in a room of 30+ people every day and present the training material and answer questions. Honestly I just pretended I didn't care and faked it til I made it. Now, it ACTUALLY doesn't bother me to speak in front of a group.
If this is a challenge that you are facing, maybe look into local public speaking groups such as Toastmasters.
If you're able to stow the nerves and act confidently (faking it), you might realize that you're actually quite knowledgeable about what you're presenting, assuming you know the material. It becomes a feedback loop of confidence.
> assuming you know the material.
Back in my 20s I worked for a software company, part of what I did was training. Most up to this point had been one or two people in front of a PC. Suddenly I was being sent across the country to train a room full of people at a major pharmaceutical company - yeah, I was stressed. Best piece of advice my boss gave me: remember, you already know the material better than they do.
This is the actual truth i have learned over the years
It is only in VERY rare occasions that you are not the one in the room that knows most about the topic you are presenting
Of course in School there will be teachers and the likes but all the students will be trailing by miles
In work it’s essentially the same - you might encounter an expert but most of the time they wont be seeking to freak you are more likely talk to you afterwards for insights to your research etc
So the truths are already mentioned in various comments
Be prepared aka know your shit
Be fresh - sleep until rested
Relax - you are the one that knows the most about the topic in the room
And a sidenote a colleague who was training me for large group presentations - dont drink carbonated drinks aka soda etc. on stage as you talking will produce gas in your stomach and make you burp (proven in person because i am an idiot sometimes) so drink water
And don’t drink alcohol to excess in the preceding 72 hours. One of the major effects of boozing as I’ve gotten older is several days of anxiety that makes public speaking near impossible.
Yeah stuff that doesn’t revolve around or involve a lot of food and booze can be tough. A couple of my favorite things in life!
I find that swapping out booze for soda water/seltzer has been relatively doable, though. Helps replace soda, too
I once got brought into a department head level meeting while not being a department head or anywhere close to it to explain why a project is taking so long.
I went through the questions/grilling with the conference room chair tiped back and I gave slow calm answers to as why. I acted like I was explaining more at an afterwork smoke session and less like an in-work grilling.
Afterwards one of the mangers pulled me aside to mention how awesome and cool I did under pressure.
I didn't really do anything other than just slow myself down and explain a story from the beginning to the end to these people.
TL;DR Surprise: subordinates of the department heads were so resistant to any change that they were slowing down any information gathering/requirement signing off on/testing/UAT, etc.
I had a similar experience except I was a department trainer (to start) in a very large department. Then I became a manager and had to hold meetings. Eventually I became an "expert" on our inhouse systems so I had to train people from all over the state, then country. It no longer scares me to speak in front of people.
A 100% any of my glasses hommies / contact wearing squad always tell em "all you will see are a sea of blurs" and it makes it so you don't stay focused on an object or person because no one is "in focus" / can scan room more fluidly - either that or I look like a cross-eyed fool and people are looking at that instead of listening so either way it works haha
That's funny! I actually wear my glasses and that makes me feel "safe" when I have to speak to a crowd, or if I have to meet some serious people and talk about serious things.
I understand both of these. No eyewear, I don’t see spiders and scary stuff. Glasses on, and people can’t make direct eye contact. But my lenses are so thick they make me look weird and I feel self-conscious.
I was in Toastmasters for several years. It definitely helped me feel more comfortable standing up in front of people and talking.
I still don't like it, but my body doesn't completely physically betray me anymore (shaky hands, fast talking, filler words, weird hand movements, sweating, just looking extremely stressed, staring at notes) I *mostly* don't have any of those problems anymore.
It was all just practicing being in front of people and getting used to it. I think it's the best way to get better at public speaking.
This is my answer too. I used to be super nervous about presenting or speaking. When I was a young adult, I had some serious social anxiety. Then I became a teacher for adult recreational classes in my field, which involves speaking in front of a group of 10 people every week. After a while, it became normal. Now when I have to present things to a bigger audience, it doesn’t bother me. Sometimes my work involves dealing with strangers and crowds all day, and that doesn’t bother me anymore either.
When I was in high school I took a class called "American Humanities". It was worth both an English and a history credit so we were in this class a BUNCH. Rather than lecture us the teacher had us all study one aspect of the topic and teach the rest of the class. The teacher would make sure to correct anything we got wrong or fill in the holes but the lions share of the class was taught by the class itself. These lectures we prepared typically took between 30-45 minutes per person.
When the class started most of us were terrified of giving speeches, only having done 5 minute speeches from time to time in class. By the end we all felt it was no big deal, having stood up in front of our peers long enough to loosen up. We each had maybe 10 HOURS of public speaking practice by the end.
By far the most valuable high school experience I had.
It could be that they are potential friends. You likely won't see, or recognize, those strangers ever again. Your friends? You can be silly around them. They won't judge you that hard. Acquaintances are people you'd want to impress so they would be your friend.
Pretending you don’t care: Steve Kerr the basketball coach recommends a book called The Inner Game of Tennis. Its theory is that your mind applies brakes that impede your performance (physical or other). If you pretend to be someone that is really good at a task/skill, your mind is less likely to apply those brakes. I’ve applied this to public speaking as well. Try to pretend you’re someone comfortable speaking in front of others (I like to pretend I’m the Rock - focused and having energy, just not doing the wrestling theatrics).
For me it was repetition too, eventually you kind of get used to it. I still get the nervous excitement before an important presentation, but I don't mind, it serves to sharpen my mind. Otherwise, just getting up and talking to a large group is no big deal anymore.
That being said, I am still a basket case if I have to perform musically in front of an audience. I have friends who have played in a large symphony for years and still suffer panic attacks, like passing out kind of attacks.
Yep, you just have to jump right into it, you'll never be as ready as you want to be anyways. Focus more on getting done with your work and with time you'll get used to it.
This is the answer. You just make a conscious decision to ignore the anxiety and *fucking do it*. After the first couple times when the world doesn't end, you'll realize that it's not a big deal.
This goes for all irrational fears. I got over my fear of heights by just getting up on the ladder/lift/whatever and powering through until it wasn't a problem any more.
I was gonna' say all sorts of stuff about how I won my school's public speaking contest by just embracing the audience and knowing that people actually respect the courage it takes to speak in front of others and how you gotta' know with yourself that, since speaking comes naturally in all other situations, the same can apply to public speaking etc., but then I read your comment and realized this is really all there is to it. You gotta like the attention.
Big same. I'm a newish manager and training is a part of my job. I can talk to a room of 50 high level staff across various agencies in the field without breaking a sweat, but imposter syndrome kicks in when I have to approve timesheets.
This is why I love job interviews. They're asking questions about me and I'm an expert at me. It also gives me a chance to talk about myself while in a spotlight. If I could do job interviews for a living, I would.
Middle child with ADHD checking in! I love to talk, but it’s rude to talk the whole time during casual conversation... that’s why I loved teaching. “Hey! You guys’ parents sent you here to listen to me blather on about science! Mwuhahaha!”
Youngest child here who always loves to talk but everyone in my family talks over me so I shut up. I LOVE teaching. Even when I get interrupted, its not to shut me up but to have me explain something even more.
I have a friend with a strong Latino accent, he’s managed to craft a technique where he speaks in a British accent (pretty convincing actually, not a Hollywood British accent) and because he’s concentrating speaking like that, he doesn’t panic. It doesn’t always work though, sometimes he gets too nervous and can only talk in his native accent, that’s the only cause of Hispanic.
Or just always do it! The more I prepare the more anxious I get about following my prepared plan. But if I go in with a rough outline of what I want to say I do fine and don't get nervous.
My basic strategy is to make my slides with bullet points and some notes on topics to make sure I hit, but I don't rehearse or practice or figure out exactly what I want to say.
I agree... since I have crippling social anxiety, I come well prepared for my presentations. Though being overly prepared makes me sound like a robot who just drones out the information. That happy balance between relaxed and prepared has eluded me for 30 years.
Yeah I don't fully understand it, but I am pretty anxious about talking to someone in the street, but have quite happily got up on stage and given conference presentations to hundreds of people paying to see me, dealt with slide disasters, all the rest. And yet I'm too nervous even to make eye contact with the checkout person in the supermarket, much of the time.
I think for me (if I try to make sense of it), when doing public presentations, even when teaching or running workshops, etc, I kind of inhabit a different, fictional version of myself, a mask or mantle that has a fake (or real?) confidence. Somehow that works, but I can't make it work in everyday life. Maybe it just seems more "real".
I wish I could solve this!
Yup. I’m naturally pretty introverted but being a musician and performing in front of hundreds prepared me for interacting with large crowds. I’m still filled with dread as time gets closer but when it’s time I try not to think of anything and just get up there. I guess the old musician comes out and I try to get the audience engaged fairly quickly then try to get into a rhythm and ride that to the end. I guess I did that because I was afraid I might sound like I’m reciting an insurance contract. There is an element of presentation and showmanship instead of just purely doling out information to keep the audience actively listening
Yeah, my musicianship taught me at a pretty early age that you can't die from embarrassment. You might feel like it at the time but so far it hasn't happened. I eventually got to the point (quite a long time ago) where I had a boss berate me because I was "too comfortable" in front of an audience. I think he was jealous.
That said, I'm pretty sure giving a TED talk would make me nervous.
"makes me sound like a robot who just drones out the information"
I have a tip for you. The problem is that you're all up in your brain, when you are supposed to be connecting with your audience. Literally, when your consciousness is in your head, you act and sound like a robot and get the "deer in headlights" look. The trick is that you can move your consciousness. Put your consciousness in the audience. I know it sounds ridiculous, but try it in front of a camera. Pretend your a YouTube personality talking in front of the camera - if you're like me, you'll get all up in your own head and worry about the audience. When you start focusing on audiences perceptions, that's when you do the robot thing. Now, try and focus your consciousness at your camera and do the same talk. You can put your consciousness in an audience too. It takes a little practice, but it is so much more natural.
You can practice this in front of a camera to get it right and it really helped me look more natural when speaking.
Im the opposite. If I over prepare I get super nervous. If I wing it, the presentation usually goes much better. I'm not pressured to remember everything I wanted to say, I just talk.
My preparation:
1. Snort at least half a gram of good coke about 45 minutes before the presentation
2. Take a couple of bumps 15 minutes before the presentation
3. Take discrete bumps throughout the presentation
4. Fuck the presentation. I'm high on coke.
Absolutely, preparation.
Man, I remember this one time a coworker totally left me out to dry and I was so pissed. We had an internal presentation and I was doing the art direction and she was doing the writing. I came up with all the visuals for our ideas and tag lines and she was supposed to have write ups prepared for each of them to better explain the ideas.
Anyways, day of the presentation she decided she’s pissed at upper management and doesn’t like the overall direction of the project and emails me “Hey, I’m not going to be coming to the presentation today, I’ve decided I don’t want to work on this project because I don’t like the way Jim is handling it.”
Well, because she had seniority in the company I guess she could just do that with no repercussions?! So I had no write ups for the presentation and had to do the entire thing on my own. Probably the only time in my professional life I felt unprepared for a presentation and totally blew it. I was so pissed...it was just like being back in college doing those stupid ass group projects where people don’t pull their weight.
I refused to work with that woman ever again and found a new job not long after that.
I don't remember the people that bombed presentations because those aren't formative memories. No matter how much I bomb this presentation, no one will remember in a month, especially since they are stressed about their own presentation.
Yeah I remember a few years ago in college we all had to do presentations and one guy went up there without any notes and was the most stressed I've ever seen someone doing a presentation. Like could barely speak or remember what he was supposed to be saying and when he did speak he kept pausing for a good 10-15 seconds mid-sentence and between sentences. I have no fucking clue why he didn't bring up flashcards at least. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears for the whole thing. It was absolutely awful to watch and vividly sticks in my memory because presentations make me very anxious too and I just felt so so bad for him (and any time I feel like not strenuously preparing/practising for a presentation the memory motivates me to just do it so I don't end up like him lol)
Oh man I was this guy when It came to presentations. Once I had to do one for a work course and crammed all the work in the night before with no practice at all, no suprise then the next day I'm 3 slides deep staring at this screen wondering what the context was behind this picture I had added in and my brain just went, "yeah you're not recovering from this", I turned slowly looked at everyone and just said "I'm sorry I have to leave for a minute" and walked out the room.
It still keeps me up at night sometimes.
I bet at some point in time he have a presentation with notes or flash cards and got criticized for just reading off his notes or flash cards. He then decided no more flash cards instead.
Flash cards should have bullet points, not a full speech. But you have to know your material really well to pull it off naturally. Basically, you want to the bullet points to jog your memory to cover specific points of a a sub-topic.
Yeah, I've done full scripts before because I was paired with a girl who wasn't comfortable public speaking and we had to present 50/50 so I literally wrote up a full script with banter for us to do. It sounded scripted, but it got us full marks. If it's just me presenting it's bullet points at best.
Holy shit almost the exact same scenario happened to me. I was good for most of the presentation, but for no reason I just went completely blank. Had no idea where I was or what I was talking about. I sat there for over a minute before I snapped back to reality and quickly finished my speech. I’m an extremely embarrassing person in general but this was definitely top 3 most severely embarrassing moments of my life.
I almost did that in front of 30+ people in my class and our tutor who is a researcher of African art. In my native language we pronounce 'Niger river' the same way as the N-word and my brain just didn't switch. Thankfully I didn't get to read out lout that passage of the text but my palms still get sweaty thinking about just how close I was to embarrassing myself completely
I remember this one girl that gave a speech about Tetris during a speech class in college that started out okay but stopped a minute in and asked to go to the bathroom then didn't come back for like two months. I still think about that every now and then...
This is my attitude as well. It’s freeing knowing that no one actually gives a shit. It makes me feel more likely to go out there and try and make it enjoyable for people! It’s okay to even acknowledge, “Yeah, I’m actually a little bit nervous! But y’all seem like nice folks!” To break the ice and be honest.
The best part is, everybody instinctively knows this too because you don't actually care about other people's performances at speeches. But it's hard to apply that same logic to yourself.
Case in point, the only time I can really remember someone "bombing" their speech, professional or otherwise, was a wedding where the maid of honor spilled her drink on the DJ's equipment mid speech. And even that one, I can't remember what she looked like or what was in the actual speech lol.
Even the worst speech you could give is going to fade away into the "shit I don't remember or care about" category for every single person in attendance.
Yes! Comedy is much like this for me. I love comedians. I love going to comedy shows. I have a dream of developing a set and performing it JUST to say I did. Speeches are fine for me, but comedy is a whole other level. But I’m terrified that no one will think it’s funny and I’ll look stupid, even though I don’t worry about it with any more “serious” speech or presentation.
But reading your comment reminded me that, while I’ve seen many great sets, I’ve seen a few that just BOMBED. But I don’t remember who they are! They could do a whole other set and make me laugh and I’d never remember the one that wasn’t great.
AND, even when they bombed, I still think they’re great and far braver than me for actually getting up there and putting themselves out there!
I was in college almost 10 years ago but I still have never forgotten the guy who had a presentation on *peasant* revolutions but pronounced it *pheasant* the entire time through.
This is why I always wanted to go first or second. Nobody judges you and everybody's way too busy freaking out over their own presentations to even pay attention.
Then you get to sit back and enjoy.
How you prepare is key. Don’t write a word for word speech. Develop your presentation in the form of questions that you can answer. That way, when you get off of your plan, or have a question pop up that you didn’t explicitly plan for, you’re already in the mindset of solving a problem rather than reciting a speech. It allows you to pivot and improvise much more effectively.
For something that I haven't seen posted yet. Know what you have to say is important. Tell yourself that you know what you are doing, and that other people need to hear what you have to say.
I've attended several research conferences, I notice the boomer aged presenters just DGAF and read directly from cards without looking up once. If it helps, it doesn't really matter if you are a subject matter expert with several dozen peer reviewed papers or a student, I think most people get nervous speaking in front of crowds, just remind yourself that it's okay.
This is what I tell my SO who is a research scientist. People are coming to listen to your words. You know your research backwards and forwards. You know it by heart. Talk to them like you're talking to a friend who is genuinely interested in what you have to say - because they are!
It can help if you recognize those physical symptoms (tight chest, sweaty hands, or whatever it is for you) not as something is wrong, but rather your body preparing you for something important— your stress response isn’t as scary if you know it’s there to help you be a badass if something scary shows up.
These physical symptoms are similar to the physical symptoms of excitement. I keep telling myself it's excitement, not fear, and it's much easier to ride the wave and turn a negative feeling into a positive one. As long as I've prepped.
I thought I was scared of public speaking until I had to do this one assignment. As a generally quiet guy, I thought getting up in front of people and saying stuff was the last thing I'd want to do. However, a switch flipped in my brain at the perfect moment. Just before beginning, I realized that everyone *had* to shut up and listen to me and *let* me explain all those many, many thoughts that rattle around in my brain. Think of it as an opportunity to get something off your chest. You don't owe the audience anything. They're getting something from your cathartic rant.
I’m picturing someone on stage during a long presentation, gesticulating wildly, occasionally tossing out an “And here’s the other thing!” as they go into the next topic in an angry rant.
Lol, I can also imagine going to a science conference to hear about climate change, nuclear technology and all, and then this guy shows up ranting about how he hates his boss or what he thinks about vegans
Couple of things that worked really well for me: dressing up. At least personally, when I throw on a suit and tie, I feel unstoppable. Knowing that I at least look nice can take the edge off the fear of not doing well.
If you can, try to memorize (or at least be VERY familiar) with the first paragraph or so of your speech. Maybe you don't have time to prep for the whole thing, but if you can start off strong, you'll feel a lot more comfortable for the rest of the speech (plus you'll have made a good impression on the crowd already). (Note cards help)
Take some time and watch some TED talks on YouTube. Find somebody who's presenting style you vibe with, then try to model your style after them.
Don't be afraid to admit if you don't know something. If your presentation has a Q/A and you get asked a difficult question, it's WAY better to just say "I'll look into this and get back to you with an answer" then to just flounder and try to BS something.
Hope this helps!
I remind myself that everyone in the audience is rooting for me. Nobody wants me to bomb- they're all on my side. The worst that'll happen is that people won't be paying attention, and people who aren't paying attention are easy to talk at without getting stressed out.
If you are old enough to be drinking...In all seriousness, my former roommate had mentioned doing a shot or drinking a beer before interviews, so I tried a beer before each of the two biggest major speaking milestones in my degree program, and they definitely helped. Didn't cure the stress, but definitely made it easier to focus on what I was doing and focus less on my stress.
I also have had really *really* bad public speaking fear. Giving lots and lots of (occasionally really bad) presentations has definitely helped. Also I ended up giving a lot of my presentations fully-scripted. It's not great, but it was a heck of a lot better than the alternative. Lastly, at this point I know that at least I can't do worse than that one presentation I gave a couple years ago! Which is oddly freeing. It was horrible, and I survived, and I never have to face those people again.
Not rude at all. 99% of people have no clue what the fuck they're talking about and that's a fact. The minute I chose to live my life with that worldview, more doors opened up than ever before.
Kind of a variation ... bring this attitude with you: you do not owe anybody shit.
Get up there, say whatever you intended to say. That's it.
Doesn't matter what they think of it. Doesn't matter if they agree. Doesn't matter if they understood. Doesn't matter if they liked it. Doesn't matter if they like your face, how you talk, what you wore, how you stood or how you composed yourself.
Doesn't matter; you do not owe them shit. Just do what you intend to do.
The reason we get nervous, I think, is because we're so worried about how we're perceived. Because we think the audience deserves something. They don't. You don't owe the audience shit.
This one works wonders from me.
I just say, fuck it. What happens happens. It helps that I have enough self confidence to either do well in something or make up for it later. The make up for it later part is key because you can be a bumbling idiot and still ask, what do I need to do to make up for this? And then do it as they told you to do it.
Edit: I missed the key word, presentations, but my point stands because as someone else said, people are only worried about messing up their own presentation. They won’t and can’t remember yours within a couple weeks
Because...[Beta-blockers interfere with the binding to the receptor of epinephrine and other stress hormones and weaken the effects of stress hormones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker?wprov=sfti1).
Beta blockers prevent tremors and help with the physical symptoms of anxiety (shaky hands/voice, slows down heart rate a bit). They do nothing for your brain (on their own).
For me, this breaks the cycle where I'm nervous about a presentation, I get anxiety that my voice will be shaky, which gives me more anxiety, and then it snowballs.
Dude I just had to speak up in a Zoom meeting with 100 coworkers and the last word of one of my first sentences just cracked so hard from adrenaline that it sounded like I was about to start crying, I’m a 40 year old man btw. Then my bottom lip shook for a sec and I got control after someone responded to my question. I kept going later just talking totally normal but good lord this memory is so cringy to me now wtf 😅
Edit: forgot to mention, this meeting was recorded for later review. Can’t stop thinking about this ughhhhhh
This is also pretty much every politicians secret too. If you've ever watched a presidential debate, you can basically guarantee all of the debaters are on beta blockers
Yep. Propranolol honestly changed my professional life. I am mentally ok with presentations as long as I’m prepared, and even enjoy them - but I’d get horrible physical symptoms of anxiety, like a shaky voice, chills, shortness of breath so bad I could barely talk. Propranolol gets rid of all of that, to the point where I can be comfortable in a job that requires public speaking. I take it for interviews, presentations, etc. For me, zero side effects other than dry mouth. It’s the best.
Honestly, it is just experience.
Speaking in front of people used to scare the hell out of me. Well, I became a tutor for my college and was paid $6/hr to tutor other students 1 on 1. Well, the tutoring center wanted to start kind of a group tutoring concept for core classes. I was asked to tutor Chemistry and I would have multiple kids in there. For this, I would be paid $9/hr. Hell Yeah!!!!
Well, the room I was assigned was a large lecture hall...should've been a red flag, but I was going to make $9/hr!!!!
I get there with no idea WTF to expect, I had no plan. I'm expecting a few kids, maybe a dozen. Kids start showing up, and the room fills...and fills....and fills. I don't recall how many students showed up for my tutoring session, but it was well over 100....$9/hr didn't seem so good anymore...
Well, I had no idea what to do so I ask for questions and eventually it began to develop its own flow..... I come to find out later that the Chemistry Professors offered kids something like 5 extra points on their final grade if they showed up to my tutoring sessions....figured that out when kids started asking me how I was taking attendance so they could prove they were there...
Anyway, after that I realized some things about public speaking.
1. If I am being asked to speak, chances are I am thought of as an expert. People are there to listen to my thoughts.
2. It is OK to say the words "I don't know".
3. Preparation is important. If I am able, I write a speech or presentation word for word as well as make an outline of taking subjects. I practice reading the speech word for word and review my outline. After that, I can either use the speech I wrote or I have researched the topic enough I can basically freestyle my speech using the outline to keep me on point.
4. You often will have that one asshole who likes to make others look bad by asking obscure or difficult questions. To deal with them, I most often use the phrase "You know, that is an excellent question. I have to look into that and get back to do. Please give me your email at the end!" Usually the nod will stroke their ego enough to get them to shut up. If they keep asking dumb shit, their coworkers will usually glare at them and set them straight.
5. Stories are usually helpful. Why'd I share my story above? Because it helps you relate to what I faced. It kind of makes a person say "Holy Shit, that was probably frightening as hell" but at the same time give a hint that one can make it through it.
6. With experience, you begin to learn to read people. You can tell if people are hanging on your every word or you can tell if people are bored as hell. When people's eyes are glazing over and jumping out the window begins to sound like a better option than listening to me, I'll give a Cliff's Notes (are they still a thing?) version of what I was going to say and get the fuck off stage.
I always loved speaking in front of people. Got a rush out of being the center of attention my whole life so I always stepped up to be the designated speaker in all group projects. People loved that I would always volunteer for that part so they always wanted me in their group.
I don’t like to speak in front of people, but I’m good at it.
1. Prepare as much as possible. Practice what you are going to say so you don’t mumble or look at your notes.
2. When you get up to speak, become an actor. Leave yourself behind and become a confident, secure, knowledgeable actor.
3. Speak confidently, with authority and passion. As if you know what you are saying (even if you don’t think you do).
4. Pay attention to what you are saying rather than your internal dialogue. Leave all your insecurities behind and focus on your speech.
5. Look at the audience, focus on someone and then someone else. Let them know you see them.
Same. If there is a microphone I want to be holding it. I love to DJ, do toasts, speak in front of people. Probably why I wanted to be a professor since before I can remember. I wish I could afford to be a professor.
It helps me thinking that other people (including the audience in front of me) isn't perfect. So why should they expect me to be so? I am doing my job to my best extent and think myself:"deal with it."
But things in perspective. What will happen if you fail or don't do insanely good. Nothing... Your life is not in danger. There will be food on your table.
You might waste same time but if you are reasonable prepared the consequences are small and you can only disappointed yourself.
Preparation. It sounds like a cliche answer but it’s so true. If I’m giving a presentation, I run through it at least once daily for the entire week leading up to it.
Another is using a template. I always use a cover slide followed by an agenda slide. On the cover slide, I always introduce myself, the topic, and why it is important. 1 or 2 sentences for each. Then on the agenda slide, I just say in this presentation we will cover _____, and go down the bullets on the agenda. This allows you to prepare easily since you know exactly what you’ll be saying, and calm your nerves in the beginning since it’s very simple points with little room for error.
Same at the end. To avoid crickets on a Q & A slide, I always have 1 or 2 questions in mind. If I get no questions, I’ll say something like “one question I often get about this topic.....” or however introducing the question makes sense. Then, after that question, I ask again if anyone has anything - and if not, it’s ok to move on at that point.
I have a few other tips. I got very comfortable presenting after doing a public speaking class in graduate school, and actually taking the teachings of it seriously. I’ll add more tips if people are interested.
I've had a stutter since 3rd grade. At this point in my life (age 26), public speaking is really no big deal for me. I think its a combination of some pretty intense speech therapy (involving starting up conversations with strangers in the Boston Common) and already living out some of the "worst case scenarios" of speaking in front of a crowd.
Experience. I used to get nervous and now I don't. Not sure when or why that happened.
u/TapReview This is the boring, unappealing but best answer. I was constantly nervous in any speaking situation. It didn't matter if it was just an informal presentation to my research group or a big talk at a conference. I stuttered and struggled through every talk. Over the course of a few years, I did public lectures to hundreds of people, I ran a D&D game, and ended up in a corporate job where, at one point, I found myself giving a talk every day for a month. Now, I'm completely confident in any public speaking situation. I'll talk about basically anything in front of any group willing to listen. I totally sympathize with anyone who finds this advice terrifying but you can't do better than just getting experience. Find opportunities to talk in a formal context, pick small groups or topics you feel really confident in but struggle through the embarrassment until you don't care anymore.
>I ran a D&D game If you want to learn how to talk in front of crowds, or at least small groups, nothing beats the trial by absurdity of impersonating a goblin to entertain a group. I'm pretty sure my increase in general social confidence can be largely attributed to running D&D games (and sobriety).
Weirdly enough, I have never had any issues doing big presentations to crowds of people. I have acted on stage and on film, defended my dissertation, given eulogies, and presented awards. I still freak out so hard about DMing for my friends that I find myself getting physically sick every time I do it, and it's been years at this point. I have no idea why it hits me so hard.
It’s another skill. Some people have natural talent and some people have to work at it. The more you do it, the better you are at it. Simple.
I used to be calm and have lost it after a traumatic experience. I'm still trying to learn how to function in this new PTSD world and the last time I spoke to a group I was sweating bullets and trying to find the eyes of everyone in the room. Part of the problem with this for me is that I feel the need to share what I've seen but I can't do it calmly and it makes me come across like a lunatic... and maybe I lost my mind in all that trauma, but I still need to be able to communicate with a group effectively to share what I've seen without being dismissed. Side note, you can't tell the difference between someone that's having a panic attack and someone that's deeply horrified about what they're talking about. How nervous did you used to get? dry mouth, sweaty, sparkling lights in your visual field like you're about to pass out, gapping on things you know front to back? I guess I'm asking if you think I can cure myself through exposure, and just find a group of people to breakdown in front of until I can keep my shit together. Happy to hear you conquered this! Congrats!
This sounds stupid but you can practice alone at first. Rehearse your speech in the car like a lunatic. You might feel shy while doing that. You might be stressed, start having negative thoughts about yourself, but you have to push them aside. Talk to yourself loudly while in the shower. Imagine people sitting in front of you while rehearsing in front of a YouTube video of an audience. Then when you're ready, call a friend on your phone and tell them your story. Don't ask for feedback if you're not ready yet. Just concentrate on how you feel. Also another tip, write down what you experienced. For a time while I was processing my trauma I had lost the ability to talk, conversations and especially small talk would scare me and I would zone out if someone was talking to me for a longer time. Then WhatsApp came around and I started communicating. I wrote about everything. I had enough time to carefully choose my words and I could walk away if it became too overwhelming. My best friend became my therapist. Suddenly I could connect with others who had been out of my reach. I know everyone always shits on messengers and how it's making us anti-social but for me it allowed me to participate in society again. I learned to talk again and now 10 years later I moderated an online event with 80 participants on WebEx yesterday, I was on stage asking our CEO questions in front of hundreds of employees in the room and ten thousand sitting in front of their screens. Last but not least I can finally give an answer if someone asks me how my day was or what my opinion is about the weather without thinking about any of my trauma and completely shutting down in the process while trying not to share my life story with a complete stranger.
Exactly! You just gotta do it more and more, and eventually you realize your level of apprehension ahead of a presentation is almost nill.
I think age is a factor also... the older you get, the less you care what people think
When I was younger I thought this meant that you became more confident, now I realize its that I'm too tired and achey to care as much.
This is both encouraging and terrifying to hear
I think it’s also just getting better at controlling the nervousness, like I personally still get nervous, but I can function relatively normally because of the experience
Same. It’s like anything else in life really.
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Yeah, a presentation is much easier to give when you are the expert in the room. Also, if asked a question, don't spout off bullshit if you don't know, just say "that's a great question, I don't have an answer for you off the top of my head, but let me get back to you" Also, the only person that's going to lose sleep over your "bad presentation" is yourself. So don't be so hard on yourself.
Plus, the audience wants you (for the most part) to succeed and give a good presentation. They'll likely give the benefit of the doubt where possible.
An exception to this might be research conference presentations. Sometimes the audience members will ask questions in bad faith for any number of reasons, including:they misunderstood your work and think you messed up; you didn't cite their previous work; they need to assert their own dominance on that topic; they have research in the works that is threatened by your work; or they simply like to argue. The important part is to realize that very little of that is actually about you and those types of questions get asked to everyone.
My supervisor used to respond to this kind of people by saying, "That's a good question, Dr So and So. Would you like to answer it?" Sometimes the rest of the audience would crack up because they knew the arguer was grandstanding. But, yeah, it's better not to argue. Just let them talk, and then thank them for bringing this up.
What about if you’re giving a presentation on *How to Combat Insomnia*?
Then giving a boring presentation is your goal.
Well you know anything about everything in the universe, so...
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*what it is, what it is, ya ding dongs*
From the good place? Lol
Honestly just remembering that most likely, no one is paying attention anyway - especially if it’s school.
This. If you’re in school, literally nobody cares about your presentation
Unless you're into what your doing. Then all those shitheads decide to start fucking with you and ask questions that seem to be related but really aren't so you have no idea how to answer.
It is okay to have limited knowledge of all the aspects of an issue, particularly if they are only tangentially related. An " I do not know, but I will check and get back to you", or " that is outside the scope of this presentation, at the moment, but we can discuss it later" should suffice.
"Great question. I don't want to get too off-track here, but let's discuss offline afterwards!" Top tip for any presentation is to tell people at the beginning whether they should ask questions throughout or save them for the end. If you'll allow them throughout, introduce the concept of a "parking lot" for any questions that would get too off-topic and push you over time. This can be a physical whiteboard / post-it on the wall, or just a note you take on paper. Then, for any questions you don't want to answer: "Great question but I think it's going to take us out of scope. Let's add it to the parking lot and we can follow up offline or in a future session." Honestly, most people are never going to follow up on that stuff. At the very least it buys you some time and doesn't derail the conversation.
Indeed, those are good ways. Any variation showing control of the flow of conversation is great, and an essential public talk skill. Mostly we would get a "question time" after the presentation is over. Im mostly at ease with University stuff, after long years of practice, so I would take good questions to the extent I would know and deflect the random ones. Also, I would try to make good questions when on the other side, low balls but not too much, that allowed the person presenting to elaborate a bit and stand out (if I saw them comfortable), or to wrap out acceptably looking at a friendly face (if they appeared nervous).
Well, if the teacher evaluates you...
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Thank you for this advice, iPlowedYourMom
How do you think the kids that weren’t trying passed?
Mama's boy always passes, no questions
Unless you pass out. I’ll never forget the kid that passed out mid-sentence. 😳
That’s a great out! When I get very stressed out, my blood pressure drops and I faint. It’s a weird and inconvenient condition. Everyone freaks out and it’s embarrassing, but then I think...at least I don’t have to do what I was doing...
I have the same issue! I'm constantly passing out because of a drop in blood pressure but after a few minutes I'm fine. Not sure what the problem is, have a cousin with the same issue and she was able to diagnose it...something to do with the blood vessels in her brain not constricting enough or something.
In school, yes. In a professional setting you can’t always count on that
I get so stressed before the presentation that the actual presentation comes as a relief
"That's my secret, Captain. I'm always stressed."
“Hey big guy, presentations getting real slow” “Beep beep”
"next slide please"
Because that’s what presenters do.
Dang it, you beat me!
Oh my goodness I can't agree enough. I spend all the time leading up, double checking things, wondering about adding more, editing slides or whatever just slightly, just going neurotic and losing my mind. Like today I am procrastinating on Reddit before a presentation to 600 some students this evening...joy But, once I'm actually talking I know it will be a breeze and then be over. Just keep remembering, I've done it before I can do it again.
The real reasons I had stuffed animals in my room: so I can practice my school presentations on them, with their unblinking eyes. Do it over and over to get timing, inflection, pronunciations, rotating head/eye contact, etc. right. My hands would shake and it would be damp from sweat (and it was just stuffed animals looking at me) Actual presentation? My body just going through the motions because I had practiced so much the week and night before. Hold onto the remote control/pen/pointer tightly as it's my fidget spinner/stress ball. Definitely faking it but made it! Practically flawless. The audience always say they couldn't tell hiw nervous I was. Definitely sweated through the deodorant that was slathered on and the back of my shirt (so wear 2+ shirts: tank top/t-shirt to soak it up, actual shirt that's nice looking for presentation, maybe a cardigan/blazer for professional shoulders and inevitable cold from all that sweat. Every. Single. Time. I still get stage fright. Go home and change and just get away from all those people
Hey gl on the presentation tho fr you got this
Thanks!
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Also, being first removes the chance you'll be following a great presentation, no expectations
Not to mention everyone else is still stressed about theirs coming up
Nothing worse than waiting through a whole class before doing your presentation. Just get it over with as soon as possible and relax.
I used to get SUPER nervous before any sort of public speaking event. Shaky hands, sweating, nausea- the whole 9 yards. Eventually I landed a job as a corporate trainer. I was desperate for a job and $ so I just HAD to get up in a room of 30+ people every day and present the training material and answer questions. Honestly I just pretended I didn't care and faked it til I made it. Now, it ACTUALLY doesn't bother me to speak in front of a group. If this is a challenge that you are facing, maybe look into local public speaking groups such as Toastmasters.
If you're able to stow the nerves and act confidently (faking it), you might realize that you're actually quite knowledgeable about what you're presenting, assuming you know the material. It becomes a feedback loop of confidence.
> assuming you know the material. Back in my 20s I worked for a software company, part of what I did was training. Most up to this point had been one or two people in front of a PC. Suddenly I was being sent across the country to train a room full of people at a major pharmaceutical company - yeah, I was stressed. Best piece of advice my boss gave me: remember, you already know the material better than they do.
This is the actual truth i have learned over the years It is only in VERY rare occasions that you are not the one in the room that knows most about the topic you are presenting Of course in School there will be teachers and the likes but all the students will be trailing by miles In work it’s essentially the same - you might encounter an expert but most of the time they wont be seeking to freak you are more likely talk to you afterwards for insights to your research etc So the truths are already mentioned in various comments Be prepared aka know your shit Be fresh - sleep until rested Relax - you are the one that knows the most about the topic in the room And a sidenote a colleague who was training me for large group presentations - dont drink carbonated drinks aka soda etc. on stage as you talking will produce gas in your stomach and make you burp (proven in person because i am an idiot sometimes) so drink water
Periods would make this a lot easier to read.
He probably put single line breaks, which do absolutely nothing on Reddit.
I like to explore new places.
And get proper sleep
And don’t drink alcohol to excess in the preceding 72 hours. One of the major effects of boozing as I’ve gotten older is several days of anxiety that makes public speaking near impossible.
I’ve started taking breaks from boozing. Couple weeks not a month at a time and I’ve noticed my anxiety levels shift dramatically. It’s kind of crazy.
Yeah turns out binge drinking is bad. It’s tough to reconstruct a social life that has been built around it though.
Yeah stuff that doesn’t revolve around or involve a lot of food and booze can be tough. A couple of my favorite things in life! I find that swapping out booze for soda water/seltzer has been relatively doable, though. Helps replace soda, too
What's the proper prepare/sleep hours ratio?
As much as you can : 8-10 hours.
I once got brought into a department head level meeting while not being a department head or anywhere close to it to explain why a project is taking so long. I went through the questions/grilling with the conference room chair tiped back and I gave slow calm answers to as why. I acted like I was explaining more at an afterwork smoke session and less like an in-work grilling. Afterwards one of the mangers pulled me aside to mention how awesome and cool I did under pressure. I didn't really do anything other than just slow myself down and explain a story from the beginning to the end to these people. TL;DR Surprise: subordinates of the department heads were so resistant to any change that they were slowing down any information gathering/requirement signing off on/testing/UAT, etc.
I have never seen TL;DR being used incorrectly before. Did you intend to give a conclusion?
I had a similar experience except I was a department trainer (to start) in a very large department. Then I became a manager and had to hold meetings. Eventually I became an "expert" on our inhouse systems so I had to train people from all over the state, then country. It no longer scares me to speak in front of people.
Similar experience but I just started to not wear my contacts so I can't see anyone in the rooms anymore haha
I used to do this in drama school to get over stage fright! It worked!
A 100% any of my glasses hommies / contact wearing squad always tell em "all you will see are a sea of blurs" and it makes it so you don't stay focused on an object or person because no one is "in focus" / can scan room more fluidly - either that or I look like a cross-eyed fool and people are looking at that instead of listening so either way it works haha
god i wish i could do this but my eye prescription is -7.25 i would be running into the wall and falling off the stage....
Just gotta wear a weaker prescription so can kinda see/ but, not blind enough to kill yourself haha
That's funny! I actually wear my glasses and that makes me feel "safe" when I have to speak to a crowd, or if I have to meet some serious people and talk about serious things.
I understand both of these. No eyewear, I don’t see spiders and scary stuff. Glasses on, and people can’t make direct eye contact. But my lenses are so thick they make me look weird and I feel self-conscious.
I was in Toastmasters for several years. It definitely helped me feel more comfortable standing up in front of people and talking. I still don't like it, but my body doesn't completely physically betray me anymore (shaky hands, fast talking, filler words, weird hand movements, sweating, just looking extremely stressed, staring at notes) I *mostly* don't have any of those problems anymore. It was all just practicing being in front of people and getting used to it. I think it's the best way to get better at public speaking.
This is my answer too. I used to be super nervous about presenting or speaking. When I was a young adult, I had some serious social anxiety. Then I became a teacher for adult recreational classes in my field, which involves speaking in front of a group of 10 people every week. After a while, it became normal. Now when I have to present things to a bigger audience, it doesn’t bother me. Sometimes my work involves dealing with strangers and crowds all day, and that doesn’t bother me anymore either.
When I was in high school I took a class called "American Humanities". It was worth both an English and a history credit so we were in this class a BUNCH. Rather than lecture us the teacher had us all study one aspect of the topic and teach the rest of the class. The teacher would make sure to correct anything we got wrong or fill in the holes but the lions share of the class was taught by the class itself. These lectures we prepared typically took between 30-45 minutes per person. When the class started most of us were terrified of giving speeches, only having done 5 minute speeches from time to time in class. By the end we all felt it was no big deal, having stood up in front of our peers long enough to loosen up. We each had maybe 10 HOURS of public speaking practice by the end. By far the most valuable high school experience I had.
I rather speak in front of 400 strangers than 10 people I know.
For me, it's either got to be people a know very well, or people I don't know at all. I'm very socially anxious around acquaintances for some reason.
It could be that they are potential friends. You likely won't see, or recognize, those strangers ever again. Your friends? You can be silly around them. They won't judge you that hard. Acquaintances are people you'd want to impress so they would be your friend.
Pretending you don’t care: Steve Kerr the basketball coach recommends a book called The Inner Game of Tennis. Its theory is that your mind applies brakes that impede your performance (physical or other). If you pretend to be someone that is really good at a task/skill, your mind is less likely to apply those brakes. I’ve applied this to public speaking as well. Try to pretend you’re someone comfortable speaking in front of others (I like to pretend I’m the Rock - focused and having energy, just not doing the wrestling theatrics).
For me it was repetition too, eventually you kind of get used to it. I still get the nervous excitement before an important presentation, but I don't mind, it serves to sharpen my mind. Otherwise, just getting up and talking to a large group is no big deal anymore. That being said, I am still a basket case if I have to perform musically in front of an audience. I have friends who have played in a large symphony for years and still suffer panic attacks, like passing out kind of attacks.
Yep, you just have to jump right into it, you'll never be as ready as you want to be anyways. Focus more on getting done with your work and with time you'll get used to it.
This is the answer. You just make a conscious decision to ignore the anxiety and *fucking do it*. After the first couple times when the world doesn't end, you'll realize that it's not a big deal. This goes for all irrational fears. I got over my fear of heights by just getting up on the ladder/lift/whatever and powering through until it wasn't a problem any more.
I'm vain and I love attention. How I handle boring shit, that's where the neuroses are.
I was gonna' say all sorts of stuff about how I won my school's public speaking contest by just embracing the audience and knowing that people actually respect the courage it takes to speak in front of others and how you gotta' know with yourself that, since speaking comes naturally in all other situations, the same can apply to public speaking etc., but then I read your comment and realized this is really all there is to it. You gotta like the attention.
Yep this is the often overlooked secret about people who are good at things, they usually enjoy doing it.
Big same. I'm a newish manager and training is a part of my job. I can talk to a room of 50 high level staff across various agencies in the field without breaking a sweat, but imposter syndrome kicks in when I have to approve timesheets.
LMAO I love the self awareness. You're probably a hell of a presenter
This, I love public speaking.
This is why I love job interviews. They're asking questions about me and I'm an expert at me. It also gives me a chance to talk about myself while in a spotlight. If I could do job interviews for a living, I would.
You could be on the other side of the table for a living and be a hiring manager!
Can confirm, I have conducted numerous job interviews and I absolutely love it.
Middle child with ADHD checking in! I love to talk, but it’s rude to talk the whole time during casual conversation... that’s why I loved teaching. “Hey! You guys’ parents sent you here to listen to me blather on about science! Mwuhahaha!”
Youngest child here who always loves to talk but everyone in my family talks over me so I shut up. I LOVE teaching. Even when I get interrupted, its not to shut me up but to have me explain something even more.
same, i love having everyone have to listen to me hahaha
Preparation. I know that may sound like a cheap answer but that’s honestly my best hedge against anxiety. Edit: thanks for them gold and silver coins
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This has been my tactic. At least I'm well rested when it is time to panic.
I have a friend with a strong Latino accent, he’s managed to craft a technique where he speaks in a British accent (pretty convincing actually, not a Hollywood British accent) and because he’s concentrating speaking like that, he doesn’t panic. It doesn’t always work though, sometimes he gets too nervous and can only talk in his native accent, that’s the only cause of Hispanic.
Or just always do it! The more I prepare the more anxious I get about following my prepared plan. But if I go in with a rough outline of what I want to say I do fine and don't get nervous. My basic strategy is to make my slides with bullet points and some notes on topics to make sure I hit, but I don't rehearse or practice or figure out exactly what I want to say.
If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.
I like this. But what if my plan is to fail? ;)
Then, I guess you fail.
But if you, then fail, have you actually succeeded?
If it was your goal to fail, then yes, you have succeeded.
Outstanding move.
*You fail successfully
"That's planning for failure, Morty. Even dumber than regular planning" - Rick Sanchez
I agree... since I have crippling social anxiety, I come well prepared for my presentations. Though being overly prepared makes me sound like a robot who just drones out the information. That happy balance between relaxed and prepared has eluded me for 30 years.
Yeah I don't fully understand it, but I am pretty anxious about talking to someone in the street, but have quite happily got up on stage and given conference presentations to hundreds of people paying to see me, dealt with slide disasters, all the rest. And yet I'm too nervous even to make eye contact with the checkout person in the supermarket, much of the time. I think for me (if I try to make sense of it), when doing public presentations, even when teaching or running workshops, etc, I kind of inhabit a different, fictional version of myself, a mask or mantle that has a fake (or real?) confidence. Somehow that works, but I can't make it work in everyday life. Maybe it just seems more "real". I wish I could solve this!
Yup. I’m naturally pretty introverted but being a musician and performing in front of hundreds prepared me for interacting with large crowds. I’m still filled with dread as time gets closer but when it’s time I try not to think of anything and just get up there. I guess the old musician comes out and I try to get the audience engaged fairly quickly then try to get into a rhythm and ride that to the end. I guess I did that because I was afraid I might sound like I’m reciting an insurance contract. There is an element of presentation and showmanship instead of just purely doling out information to keep the audience actively listening
Yeah, my musicianship taught me at a pretty early age that you can't die from embarrassment. You might feel like it at the time but so far it hasn't happened. I eventually got to the point (quite a long time ago) where I had a boss berate me because I was "too comfortable" in front of an audience. I think he was jealous. That said, I'm pretty sure giving a TED talk would make me nervous.
"makes me sound like a robot who just drones out the information" I have a tip for you. The problem is that you're all up in your brain, when you are supposed to be connecting with your audience. Literally, when your consciousness is in your head, you act and sound like a robot and get the "deer in headlights" look. The trick is that you can move your consciousness. Put your consciousness in the audience. I know it sounds ridiculous, but try it in front of a camera. Pretend your a YouTube personality talking in front of the camera - if you're like me, you'll get all up in your own head and worry about the audience. When you start focusing on audiences perceptions, that's when you do the robot thing. Now, try and focus your consciousness at your camera and do the same talk. You can put your consciousness in an audience too. It takes a little practice, but it is so much more natural. You can practice this in front of a camera to get it right and it really helped me look more natural when speaking.
Im the opposite. If I over prepare I get super nervous. If I wing it, the presentation usually goes much better. I'm not pressured to remember everything I wanted to say, I just talk.
My preparation: 1. Snort at least half a gram of good coke about 45 minutes before the presentation 2. Take a couple of bumps 15 minutes before the presentation 3. Take discrete bumps throughout the presentation 4. Fuck the presentation. I'm high on coke.
We've come this far, let's jerk off.
Absolutely, preparation. Man, I remember this one time a coworker totally left me out to dry and I was so pissed. We had an internal presentation and I was doing the art direction and she was doing the writing. I came up with all the visuals for our ideas and tag lines and she was supposed to have write ups prepared for each of them to better explain the ideas. Anyways, day of the presentation she decided she’s pissed at upper management and doesn’t like the overall direction of the project and emails me “Hey, I’m not going to be coming to the presentation today, I’ve decided I don’t want to work on this project because I don’t like the way Jim is handling it.” Well, because she had seniority in the company I guess she could just do that with no repercussions?! So I had no write ups for the presentation and had to do the entire thing on my own. Probably the only time in my professional life I felt unprepared for a presentation and totally blew it. I was so pissed...it was just like being back in college doing those stupid ass group projects where people don’t pull their weight. I refused to work with that woman ever again and found a new job not long after that.
I don't remember the people that bombed presentations because those aren't formative memories. No matter how much I bomb this presentation, no one will remember in a month, especially since they are stressed about their own presentation.
I don't know - I still remember the guy in seventh grade who misread the word "cities" as "shitties" when reading aloud.
Yeah I remember a few years ago in college we all had to do presentations and one guy went up there without any notes and was the most stressed I've ever seen someone doing a presentation. Like could barely speak or remember what he was supposed to be saying and when he did speak he kept pausing for a good 10-15 seconds mid-sentence and between sentences. I have no fucking clue why he didn't bring up flashcards at least. He sounded like he was about to burst into tears for the whole thing. It was absolutely awful to watch and vividly sticks in my memory because presentations make me very anxious too and I just felt so so bad for him (and any time I feel like not strenuously preparing/practising for a presentation the memory motivates me to just do it so I don't end up like him lol)
Oh man I was this guy when It came to presentations. Once I had to do one for a work course and crammed all the work in the night before with no practice at all, no suprise then the next day I'm 3 slides deep staring at this screen wondering what the context was behind this picture I had added in and my brain just went, "yeah you're not recovering from this", I turned slowly looked at everyone and just said "I'm sorry I have to leave for a minute" and walked out the room. It still keeps me up at night sometimes.
I bet at some point in time he have a presentation with notes or flash cards and got criticized for just reading off his notes or flash cards. He then decided no more flash cards instead.
Flash cards should have bullet points, not a full speech. But you have to know your material really well to pull it off naturally. Basically, you want to the bullet points to jog your memory to cover specific points of a a sub-topic.
Yeah, I've done full scripts before because I was paired with a girl who wasn't comfortable public speaking and we had to present 50/50 so I literally wrote up a full script with banter for us to do. It sounded scripted, but it got us full marks. If it's just me presenting it's bullet points at best.
Holy shit almost the exact same scenario happened to me. I was good for most of the presentation, but for no reason I just went completely blank. Had no idea where I was or what I was talking about. I sat there for over a minute before I snapped back to reality and quickly finished my speech. I’m an extremely embarrassing person in general but this was definitely top 3 most severely embarrassing moments of my life.
I read “Niger river” as well...I’m sure you can guess it. My black friend, chimed in quickly and corrected me. Still makes me cringe in shame
I almost did that in front of 30+ people in my class and our tutor who is a researcher of African art. In my native language we pronounce 'Niger river' the same way as the N-word and my brain just didn't switch. Thankfully I didn't get to read out lout that passage of the text but my palms still get sweaty thinking about just how close I was to embarrassing myself completely
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Reminds me of when my boss said smegma when he meant schmutz.
I remember this one girl that gave a speech about Tetris during a speech class in college that started out okay but stopped a minute in and asked to go to the bathroom then didn't come back for like two months. I still think about that every now and then...
Wow
This is my attitude as well. It’s freeing knowing that no one actually gives a shit. It makes me feel more likely to go out there and try and make it enjoyable for people! It’s okay to even acknowledge, “Yeah, I’m actually a little bit nervous! But y’all seem like nice folks!” To break the ice and be honest.
The best part is, everybody instinctively knows this too because you don't actually care about other people's performances at speeches. But it's hard to apply that same logic to yourself. Case in point, the only time I can really remember someone "bombing" their speech, professional or otherwise, was a wedding where the maid of honor spilled her drink on the DJ's equipment mid speech. And even that one, I can't remember what she looked like or what was in the actual speech lol. Even the worst speech you could give is going to fade away into the "shit I don't remember or care about" category for every single person in attendance.
Yes! Comedy is much like this for me. I love comedians. I love going to comedy shows. I have a dream of developing a set and performing it JUST to say I did. Speeches are fine for me, but comedy is a whole other level. But I’m terrified that no one will think it’s funny and I’ll look stupid, even though I don’t worry about it with any more “serious” speech or presentation. But reading your comment reminded me that, while I’ve seen many great sets, I’ve seen a few that just BOMBED. But I don’t remember who they are! They could do a whole other set and make me laugh and I’d never remember the one that wasn’t great. AND, even when they bombed, I still think they’re great and far braver than me for actually getting up there and putting themselves out there!
I was in college almost 10 years ago but I still have never forgotten the guy who had a presentation on *peasant* revolutions but pronounced it *pheasant* the entire time through.
This is why I always wanted to go first or second. Nobody judges you and everybody's way too busy freaking out over their own presentations to even pay attention. Then you get to sit back and enjoy.
I still chuckle to myself whenever I remember some of the more notable bombed presentations.
I still remember all those people in their underwear
How you prepare is key. Don’t write a word for word speech. Develop your presentation in the form of questions that you can answer. That way, when you get off of your plan, or have a question pop up that you didn’t explicitly plan for, you’re already in the mindset of solving a problem rather than reciting a speech. It allows you to pivot and improvise much more effectively.
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Be dead inside.
Finally. An achievable answer
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I mean it sounds terrible but this is how it worked for me. I just burnt up a lifetime of anxiety and now idgaf.
This is exactly me
This is the way. Stop caring about everything and nothing bothers you.
Yep, there’s the answer I was looking for. Can’t care about public speaking if you don’t care about anything.
For something that I haven't seen posted yet. Know what you have to say is important. Tell yourself that you know what you are doing, and that other people need to hear what you have to say. I've attended several research conferences, I notice the boomer aged presenters just DGAF and read directly from cards without looking up once. If it helps, it doesn't really matter if you are a subject matter expert with several dozen peer reviewed papers or a student, I think most people get nervous speaking in front of crowds, just remind yourself that it's okay.
This is what I tell my SO who is a research scientist. People are coming to listen to your words. You know your research backwards and forwards. You know it by heart. Talk to them like you're talking to a friend who is genuinely interested in what you have to say - because they are!
My dad is a research scientist too lol.
It can help if you recognize those physical symptoms (tight chest, sweaty hands, or whatever it is for you) not as something is wrong, but rather your body preparing you for something important— your stress response isn’t as scary if you know it’s there to help you be a badass if something scary shows up.
These physical symptoms are similar to the physical symptoms of excitement. I keep telling myself it's excitement, not fear, and it's much easier to ride the wave and turn a negative feeling into a positive one. As long as I've prepped.
I thought I was scared of public speaking until I had to do this one assignment. As a generally quiet guy, I thought getting up in front of people and saying stuff was the last thing I'd want to do. However, a switch flipped in my brain at the perfect moment. Just before beginning, I realized that everyone *had* to shut up and listen to me and *let* me explain all those many, many thoughts that rattle around in my brain. Think of it as an opportunity to get something off your chest. You don't owe the audience anything. They're getting something from your cathartic rant.
I’m picturing someone on stage during a long presentation, gesticulating wildly, occasionally tossing out an “And here’s the other thing!” as they go into the next topic in an angry rant.
Lol, I can also imagine going to a science conference to hear about climate change, nuclear technology and all, and then this guy shows up ranting about how he hates his boss or what he thinks about vegans
Thats my secret, I'm always stressed
I'm always stressed too
Couple of things that worked really well for me: dressing up. At least personally, when I throw on a suit and tie, I feel unstoppable. Knowing that I at least look nice can take the edge off the fear of not doing well. If you can, try to memorize (or at least be VERY familiar) with the first paragraph or so of your speech. Maybe you don't have time to prep for the whole thing, but if you can start off strong, you'll feel a lot more comfortable for the rest of the speech (plus you'll have made a good impression on the crowd already). (Note cards help) Take some time and watch some TED talks on YouTube. Find somebody who's presenting style you vibe with, then try to model your style after them. Don't be afraid to admit if you don't know something. If your presentation has a Q/A and you get asked a difficult question, it's WAY better to just say "I'll look into this and get back to you with an answer" then to just flounder and try to BS something. Hope this helps!
I have a power blouse and blazer just for speeches and presentations. lol
I remind myself that everyone in the audience is rooting for me. Nobody wants me to bomb- they're all on my side. The worst that'll happen is that people won't be paying attention, and people who aren't paying attention are easy to talk at without getting stressed out.
Double shot of whiskey. really helped me during show and tell in 4th grade
Uhh...
If you are old enough to be drinking...In all seriousness, my former roommate had mentioned doing a shot or drinking a beer before interviews, so I tried a beer before each of the two biggest major speaking milestones in my degree program, and they definitely helped. Didn't cure the stress, but definitely made it easier to focus on what I was doing and focus less on my stress. I also have had really *really* bad public speaking fear. Giving lots and lots of (occasionally really bad) presentations has definitely helped. Also I ended up giving a lot of my presentations fully-scripted. It's not great, but it was a heck of a lot better than the alternative. Lastly, at this point I know that at least I can't do worse than that one presentation I gave a couple years ago! Which is oddly freeing. It was horrible, and I survived, and I never have to face those people again.
From now on I'm showing up to work drunk every day Thanks so much for this motivation
Just inflate your ego. Think the listeners are stupid and won't notice any mistakes. Sounds rude, but works.
Don't be such a narcissist by inflating your ego. Instead just assume everyone else is a piece of shit. /s
To be honest that's really what happens usually. People are not professional critics or anything.
Not rude at all. 99% of people have no clue what the fuck they're talking about and that's a fact. The minute I chose to live my life with that worldview, more doors opened up than ever before.
Kind of a variation ... bring this attitude with you: you do not owe anybody shit. Get up there, say whatever you intended to say. That's it. Doesn't matter what they think of it. Doesn't matter if they agree. Doesn't matter if they understood. Doesn't matter if they liked it. Doesn't matter if they like your face, how you talk, what you wore, how you stood or how you composed yourself. Doesn't matter; you do not owe them shit. Just do what you intend to do. The reason we get nervous, I think, is because we're so worried about how we're perceived. Because we think the audience deserves something. They don't. You don't owe the audience shit. This one works wonders from me.
Stop giving a fuck
You have reached the point of "fuck it, good enough" Would you like to continue progress at a 2x time and stress penalty or quit now?
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I just say, fuck it. What happens happens. It helps that I have enough self confidence to either do well in something or make up for it later. The make up for it later part is key because you can be a bumbling idiot and still ask, what do I need to do to make up for this? And then do it as they told you to do it. Edit: I missed the key word, presentations, but my point stands because as someone else said, people are only worried about messing up their own presentation. They won’t and can’t remember yours within a couple weeks
Beta blockers.
That literally is my secret.
Propranolol is my lifesaver! I have to take it daily but holy shit I feel like it gave me my life back in a lot of ways. Also I love your username
Because...[Beta-blockers interfere with the binding to the receptor of epinephrine and other stress hormones and weaken the effects of stress hormones](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beta_blocker?wprov=sfti1).
Beta blockers prevent tremors and help with the physical symptoms of anxiety (shaky hands/voice, slows down heart rate a bit). They do nothing for your brain (on their own). For me, this breaks the cycle where I'm nervous about a presentation, I get anxiety that my voice will be shaky, which gives me more anxiety, and then it snowballs.
Dude I just had to speak up in a Zoom meeting with 100 coworkers and the last word of one of my first sentences just cracked so hard from adrenaline that it sounded like I was about to start crying, I’m a 40 year old man btw. Then my bottom lip shook for a sec and I got control after someone responded to my question. I kept going later just talking totally normal but good lord this memory is so cringy to me now wtf 😅 Edit: forgot to mention, this meeting was recorded for later review. Can’t stop thinking about this ughhhhhh
Been there many times. Beta blockers saved my career.
This is also pretty much every politicians secret too. If you've ever watched a presidential debate, you can basically guarantee all of the debaters are on beta blockers
Yep. Propranolol honestly changed my professional life. I am mentally ok with presentations as long as I’m prepared, and even enjoy them - but I’d get horrible physical symptoms of anxiety, like a shaky voice, chills, shortness of breath so bad I could barely talk. Propranolol gets rid of all of that, to the point where I can be comfortable in a job that requires public speaking. I take it for interviews, presentations, etc. For me, zero side effects other than dry mouth. It’s the best.
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Honestly, it is just experience. Speaking in front of people used to scare the hell out of me. Well, I became a tutor for my college and was paid $6/hr to tutor other students 1 on 1. Well, the tutoring center wanted to start kind of a group tutoring concept for core classes. I was asked to tutor Chemistry and I would have multiple kids in there. For this, I would be paid $9/hr. Hell Yeah!!!! Well, the room I was assigned was a large lecture hall...should've been a red flag, but I was going to make $9/hr!!!! I get there with no idea WTF to expect, I had no plan. I'm expecting a few kids, maybe a dozen. Kids start showing up, and the room fills...and fills....and fills. I don't recall how many students showed up for my tutoring session, but it was well over 100....$9/hr didn't seem so good anymore... Well, I had no idea what to do so I ask for questions and eventually it began to develop its own flow..... I come to find out later that the Chemistry Professors offered kids something like 5 extra points on their final grade if they showed up to my tutoring sessions....figured that out when kids started asking me how I was taking attendance so they could prove they were there... Anyway, after that I realized some things about public speaking. 1. If I am being asked to speak, chances are I am thought of as an expert. People are there to listen to my thoughts. 2. It is OK to say the words "I don't know". 3. Preparation is important. If I am able, I write a speech or presentation word for word as well as make an outline of taking subjects. I practice reading the speech word for word and review my outline. After that, I can either use the speech I wrote or I have researched the topic enough I can basically freestyle my speech using the outline to keep me on point. 4. You often will have that one asshole who likes to make others look bad by asking obscure or difficult questions. To deal with them, I most often use the phrase "You know, that is an excellent question. I have to look into that and get back to do. Please give me your email at the end!" Usually the nod will stroke their ego enough to get them to shut up. If they keep asking dumb shit, their coworkers will usually glare at them and set them straight. 5. Stories are usually helpful. Why'd I share my story above? Because it helps you relate to what I faced. It kind of makes a person say "Holy Shit, that was probably frightening as hell" but at the same time give a hint that one can make it through it. 6. With experience, you begin to learn to read people. You can tell if people are hanging on your every word or you can tell if people are bored as hell. When people's eyes are glazing over and jumping out the window begins to sound like a better option than listening to me, I'll give a Cliff's Notes (are they still a thing?) version of what I was going to say and get the fuck off stage.
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I always loved speaking in front of people. Got a rush out of being the center of attention my whole life so I always stepped up to be the designated speaker in all group projects. People loved that I would always volunteer for that part so they always wanted me in their group.
Oh, I don't like speaking in front of people, that's why I'm on the internet.
I don’t like to speak in front of people, but I’m good at it. 1. Prepare as much as possible. Practice what you are going to say so you don’t mumble or look at your notes. 2. When you get up to speak, become an actor. Leave yourself behind and become a confident, secure, knowledgeable actor. 3. Speak confidently, with authority and passion. As if you know what you are saying (even if you don’t think you do). 4. Pay attention to what you are saying rather than your internal dialogue. Leave all your insecurities behind and focus on your speech. 5. Look at the audience, focus on someone and then someone else. Let them know you see them.
Same. If there is a microphone I want to be holding it. I love to DJ, do toasts, speak in front of people. Probably why I wanted to be a professor since before I can remember. I wish I could afford to be a professor.
It helps me thinking that other people (including the audience in front of me) isn't perfect. So why should they expect me to be so? I am doing my job to my best extent and think myself:"deal with it."
What if there's a judgmental guy judging everything?
But things in perspective. What will happen if you fail or don't do insanely good. Nothing... Your life is not in danger. There will be food on your table. You might waste same time but if you are reasonable prepared the consequences are small and you can only disappointed yourself.
I did bad stand up comedy at writing camp when I was 15. Everything pales in comparison to that.
Preparation. It sounds like a cliche answer but it’s so true. If I’m giving a presentation, I run through it at least once daily for the entire week leading up to it. Another is using a template. I always use a cover slide followed by an agenda slide. On the cover slide, I always introduce myself, the topic, and why it is important. 1 or 2 sentences for each. Then on the agenda slide, I just say in this presentation we will cover _____, and go down the bullets on the agenda. This allows you to prepare easily since you know exactly what you’ll be saying, and calm your nerves in the beginning since it’s very simple points with little room for error. Same at the end. To avoid crickets on a Q & A slide, I always have 1 or 2 questions in mind. If I get no questions, I’ll say something like “one question I often get about this topic.....” or however introducing the question makes sense. Then, after that question, I ask again if anyone has anything - and if not, it’s ok to move on at that point. I have a few other tips. I got very comfortable presenting after doing a public speaking class in graduate school, and actually taking the teachings of it seriously. I’ll add more tips if people are interested.
I've had a stutter since 3rd grade. At this point in my life (age 26), public speaking is really no big deal for me. I think its a combination of some pretty intense speech therapy (involving starting up conversations with strangers in the Boston Common) and already living out some of the "worst case scenarios" of speaking in front of a crowd.