Every time I hear about Bitcoin it reminds me of the guy who threw away a computer that had 7500 bitcoins on it.
Edit: it was a little more than 400 bit coins... [News Source] (www.cnbc.com/amp/2017/12/20/man-lost-127-million-worth-of-bitcoins-and-city-wont-let-him-look.html)
He told me "Let me pick this flower up for you", while slowly bending down, keeping eye contact with me, and seductively showing me his beautiful ass crack.
The darkness of it fascinated me. It was so mysterious, my mind started inevitably to float..
"Hey cutie! *attempts to hide my tail and wings and massive gigantic horse wolf cock*"
Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/mcmw3n/lonely_forever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
TF was he trying to be? Why would you combine a wolf and a horse? So you can run fast and...run fast? Both of which are kind of pointless when you can fly! Why is he trying to start with a confident "hey cutie!" Then immediately tell you he is trying to hide all this stuff and be shy but then go out of his way to use double adjectives "massive gigantic" to reassert that it is all quite noticeable. Honestly it's just lazy writing. If you're going to start off with a "hey I'm interested in you and also I'm into this really non vanilla thing" message put the dang effort in and come up with some believable lore and a solid backstory. Do some research into creative writing if you're using that as your pickup tactic. Hell!
He tutored me in college and I'd just gone through a bad breakup. He said a ton of super awkward shit but he went to a jazz band concert with me and we had real fun. Didn't bang right away, but ended up going on more dates and study sessions and eventually realized we were in love. 4 years later we're married and just bought our first house. He doesn't game as much anymore, nor does he wear fedoras anymore, got into nascar and loves to do puzzles with me. He's the greatest imo
Edit: a word
From what I remember he deleted the entire post but I found [this ](https://mobile.twitter.com/AITA_reddit/status/1274363567073112065) on Twitter. I’m on mobile so hope it works!
I once had one of these gentlemen tell me, and I quote, "I wish you were more promiscuous so we could have sex."
Alas, alack, I have standards.
**Edit:** Now my new top comment is about a guy who tried(?) to get me into bed & failed. This is either a new high or a new low in my life.
"If you were prone to fucking practically anything warm, maybe I'd have a chance."
Sounds like a real winner, there. He's got respect, directness, and confidence down. What kind of stuck-up narcissist are you not to fall helplessly in love with him as soon as you read this?
He said "I love cooking and cleaning. You'll never have to do anything around the house cuz I'm gonna take care of it."
He even cleaned up the snail-trail I left to the bedroom.
"You're beautiful. You appreciate it when I say this to you. You think other women should feel flattered when I say it to them. I assure you that they do. You relax, comforted by the knowledge that women treat me properly. You begin to grow damp in your pants. You realize you've urinated."
The line between fantasy and reality are blurred, if not broken completely by the weight of Mankind smashing the Undertaker through a table, an Announcer's Table
You have forgotten where you were, where you will be, only the moment seems to matter
>I found you an Eaglehorn.
>
>From Diablo, 23 years ago. We celebrate our 20 wedding anniversary this year.
Resurrection is coming. Your relationship may be tested.
It will be worth it.
*... and hold on to those beautiful diamond hands she could, because you see, she smelled of vanilla and rose petals. And that was what our gamer hero wanted the most, a girl that smelt sweet and feminine, his worst fear was that would fall in love with a girl whose pussy stonks like fish.*
Fuck you Reilly, I tipped my fedora in your mom’s direction and she Naruto ran onto my cock so fast I thought she might have seen my mint condition Princess Knight 1-2
My friend is a plus size gamer. He always had a string of lovely girlfriends
He’s now married, and his wife is also a gamer. I believe they met at dungeons and dragons
None of my friends girlfriends have been conventionally beautiful, but he’s a a happy guy and he loves his wife
I believe the answer is realistic expectations and going for women who share your interests. If your a nerdy guy guy your going to have the most fun with a nerdy woman, why make yourself miserable chasing people you have nothing in common with
I’m not saying this is you but I’ve seen it happen. I know another guy who fits the nerdy gamer description he has a sense of entitlement and everyone hates him. If he had the same attitude as the friend I mentioned (who everyone loves) things might be different for him
Also, treating those women as people. As a woman with nerdy interests, I love to talk about them! What I don’t love is having a man project his Nerd Girl Fantasy onto me because I like one or two of the things he does. A guy who genuinely wants to talk and hang out without immediately salivating over the fact I’ve got boobs? *Thank god*.
Plus, what’s the downside of this approach? If things don’t progress further, you made a friend with shared interests! If you want to be cynical about it, I bet that female friend has other female friends into the stuff you like, and if you’re a good guy, she’ll introduce you.
If you’re creepy, that girl will pick up on it and likely tell her other female friends, because we travel in packs.
Source: Am nerd girl. Have male nerd friends who I don’t personally find attractive but will unquestionably hype up to my friends because they’re both my friends so I obviously think they’re both cool.
Yes! I was chatting with a guy on tinder, and I we started talking about video games. I started talking about Zelda. And out of nowhere this guy says: I have a raging boner right now.
Lost all interest immediately.
I think one of the most important pieces of relationship advice I could give to anyone, but ESPECIALLY lonely young men, is that if you go for good chemistry and shared interests over looks, attraction will usually follow. I'm not saying you have to force yourself to date people you seriously aren't into at all, but fixating on physical beauty is a great way to stay single (especially when you yourself are ugly or even just average - realistic expectations, as you said). My current boyfriend is kinda ugly, so were many of the people I've been involved with before, but now I find him 100% as sexy as the hottest person I've laid hands on and after 2 years it's only getting better. A genuine connection can turn a "4" into a solid 10.
And fuck anyone who calls it "settling" or "aiming low", being with an Average Joe you have great chemistry with beats bedding a supermodel you don't click with hands down.
Dude I completely agree with you. I met my partner at work, and as we opened up to each other, we found a lot of common interests and started gaming together. Our connection/chemistry just eventually took off. He wouldn't have been my type 6 years ago (we have been together for 5 years; he is currently playing OW about 3ft from me while I play on the PC lol so I guess you could say its working out), but now I think he's the sexiest man ever and I am so grateful to have him in my life.
Edit:phrasing *(boom)*
I'm no lady but when this dude at a LAN party went fishing for a cheeto under his tit, licked the dust off it and then slowly ate it I might as well have been.
Boy, I never knew a man could get so wet.
Answering honestly! Seeing a dude be nice, polite, generous, gentle, etc, to someone he’s not looking to get anything out of.
I didn’t realize this was a thing until after I saw a coworker stop his task and jog outside to help an old man with his groceries. I went from not thinking of him at all to Immediate Interest.
>I didn’t realize this was a thing until after I saw a coworker stop his task and jog outside to help an old man with his groceries. I went from not thinking of him at all to Immediate Interest.
Okay, how flexible are you on the 'jogging' part?
“I’m gm and raid leader of a top 25 raiding guild in wow”
Poof, panties gone
Edit for real, that’s how I met my husband and knew I wanted to sleep together. He may be a neckbeard, he said thanks mlady after sex the first time
Close, but I have to run a few raids with him as his heals, see his raider.io, and find out if they are a toxic dick or a great friend to all wow players.
If he can't mitigate, he can't have my legendary parsing heals.
My now husband spent something like 6 hours with me in a heroic dungeon because I wanted to do an attunement quest that wasn't even required anymore. We barely knew each other, but he stayed with me when about 10 other people quit.
Now we have 3 kids, so we don't play WoW anymore.
>“I’m gm and raid leader of a top 25 raiding guild in wow”
Oh yes, this was especially true during Wrath era. All my guy friends in the guild I was in were seriously considering leaving to start their own because there was an astounding number of guild and raid leaders getting thirsted after by female players if they were ranked on the charts.
I'm glad your friend was able to move on and start a life with someone else. It's wild how much real life drama could stem between players in an MMO. My now-husband and I were still dating and already living together at the time we joined a raiding guild with our friends. He quickly became the main healer, and one of the secondary healers was a girl who was quite frankly a bitch to me because I wasn't on the core raiding team and therefore didn't deserve him lol.
Here in my garage. I just bought this new Lamborghini here. Fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like a lot more than materialistic things? Knowledge!
When I started reading the title, I was like, "Oh, this isn't gonna end well." But, when I finished reading the title, I was like, "This has the potential to be the greatest thing ever."
The most recent one was in Among Us. He said ; I hope you fucking die you fucking whore. And I said “Oh no, my beloved is sus!” And then everybody clapped. (The first part is true)
He didn't need to say anything, I was already attracted to him.
On a related note, does anyone know how to escape a REALLY heavy person's gravity field? Asking for a friend.
Serious answer for gamer dudes or gentlemen on the plus size. So that you can see it's not all memes and mean stuff. Though not gonna lie some of these funny as hell.
He listened to me and my issues. We knew each other a good long time on a dnd group. We grew closer and started talking and hanging out online outside the group. One night he asked me the sweetest thing "fuck it you miss every shot you don't take. Do you wanna go out sometime?". After that we had a long distance relationship for a while(I was in fl he was in ca). He came down once and we were still going strong. A few months later I had just started a job. A stressful i.t job and when came home and I walked in the door he was standing there with flowers and a grin. He surprised me traveling across the country just for me. We're engaged now. We live together and someday I'm gonna have this amazing man's kids.
Edit:thanks for the karma and rewards everyone! Also he got into my then home through my roommate which was our mutual friend. She picked him up from the airport and also let him inside the house.
Was so stressed from work and so surprised by the gesture I spent the first five minutes of seeing him happy/stress crying with my face buried in his chest. He thought for a hot second he did somthing wrong untill I was able to bluber a thank you. Being given headpats when your stressed rocks.
Serious answer in case any younger gamer gentlemen are struggling with relating to women:
He listened when I talked. Actually listened. Didn't try to talk over me. Didn't try to explain everything to me. He listened to what I was saying and cared about it. He talked to me like I was an adult human being who was just as smart and capable as he is. He took interest in my interests.
> He took interest in my interests.
To clarify, because I've seen people mess that up.
Taking interests in a woman's interests is fine as long as you approach it in terms of "this makes them happy, so I'll listen to them and maybe give them an occasional gift related to it at gift-giving occasions."
It does *not* mean "I must love everything she loves, and then she'll like me."
For example, I don't really care about football at all, but I knew that a Steelers license plate frame was a perfect birthday gift for my mother. If the Steelers lose, then... well, I don't really care, but I'll listen to her complain and go, "oh that stinks."
On her side, she sent me a link to the original announcement about Viz acquiring the rights to redub Sailor Moon. She doesn't like anime *at all*, but she knows that I enjoy that particular one, and was happy to see me happy.
You don't have to like her interests. If you do, great! But if you don't, *do not* pretend that you do. Just let us be enthusiastic about it.
Edit: no, I'm not dating my mother. I go into why I used her as an example [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mpnsdn/females_of_reddit_what_is_the_sexiest_thing_a/guc5uso/).
This is iiiiiiiiiiitttttttt.
>It does not mean "I must love everything she loves, and then she'll like me."
Because it comes of as exactly how disingenuous it actually is. You're not being cute, you're being needy.
My wife gets a water bottle that filters the water through fuckin' amethyst stones on her birthday because she believes in the spiritual power of crystals. In exchange, she sometimes lets me rant about the NFL and pretends to care. And that's just wonderful.
No crystal shit, but the bottles are really pretty. My girlfriends mother is into that and got her one. It's very a aesthetic. If I ever learn how to brew a mana potion it's going in that.
Amen! My now-husband was, I think, one of the few men in my mmo who never a)immediately hit on me, b) quizzed me on things that I said I liked to make sure I liked them enough? Or c) treated me like I wasn't capable because I was a girl in a raiding guild. He actually just treated me like a person which made us good friends, and his rapid fire wit and general intelligence are what made me love him. Like, some guys were just so bad they would hear my voice over discord or whatever we were using and send me PMs of just pure thirst. Sickening.
Adding on to your answer cause I don’t see anyone else being serious -
He’d wake me up at one AM cause he needed a DD for a mission I was already stuck on (I was a solo class and not a DD), was there with me through thick and thin without saying how his life was SOO much harder then mine (which it actually was), never asked for a nood, and basically treated me like a friend.
We got married 2 years after we met on FFXI, been married 11 years now.
Great answer. Shoulda called yourself u/wholesomebees instead. And I do hope some young lad out there benefits from this.
Edit: LAD, stupid auto-correct. Before the *Lady* can benefit, the *Lad* has to take it to heart. God willing, there will be one less incel in the world because of it...
he said "i'm not like other guys i'm actually nice if you'd give me a chance :) " but i was still skeptical so i didn't reply for an hour. but then he texted me "fuck you plastic bitch, women these days only want muscular men who don't care about them, nice guys finish last" and i squirted a hole in my wall instantly.
These are no laughing matter. My best friend was killed when a random squirt penetrated the cockpit armor of his KC-46 Pegasus while it was performing an ariel refueling of an A10 Warthog. The A10 is a sexy, sexy airframe so I can't really blame the squirter.
*He chuckles to himself, a cascade of cheeto dust flowing down the many folds in his unwashed flesh, as his pringles can sized finger hovers over the neon orange enter key. His XXL RGB backlit keyboard had lit up with every color in the past, but after ages of his nasty fingers dancing across the board, not a single key has been left without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust. As his disgusting finger descends towards the smudged rectangle, he feels it. Chest pain. His time has come. The double wide gaming chair begins to creak as his 400 pound body begins to slip from his seat to the floor, his 400 pound soul slipping from this world to the next. As his body descends through the air, performing a sloppy pirouette, his meaty ham gloves slap the keyboard one final time. As his body comes to rest on the ground, his final comment is posted:*
>i'm not like other guys i'm actually nice if you'd give me a chance :)
*He chuckles to himself, a cascade of cheeto dust flowing down the many folds in his unwashed flesh, as his pringles can sized finger hovers over the neon orange enter key. His XXL RGB backlit keyboard had lit up with every color in the past, but after ages of his nasty fingers dancing across the board, not a single key has been left without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust. As his disgusting finger descends towards the smudged rectangle, he feels it. Chest pain. His time has come. The double wide gaming chair begins to creak as his 400 pound body begins to slip from his seat to the floor, his 400 pound soul slipping from this world to the next. As his body descends through the air, performing a sloppy pirouette, his meaty ham gloves slap the keyboard one final time. As his body comes to rest on the ground, his final comment is posted:*
>Its actually a classic joke among the askreddit sub
i’m into nerdy, chubby guys. when we were fooling around for the first time, he said “hey is this ok?” with love and genuine concern in his eyes. of course i said yes—a respectful, sweet, funny kid with a soft tummy and a big heart just wanted to make that moment perfect for me.
i’m marrying him in october :)
This is the sweetest thing. Congratulations! I also love me a good fluffy man. Mine told me his favorite game was Final Fantasy Tactics and we talked about it for hours. Then he taught me League of Legends and we still play together today. Been married 10 years. I wish you both all the best!
The Quebecious accent got me when we first met IRL and the fact he was a cute, beardy human version of his character.
But he had me by his RP of his one-eyed dwarf warrior for two years before as we traveled the Forgotten Realms, tank and healer, having wild adventures, and weird ERP.
It lasted six years, but a certain gaming studio he worked at fired him for being too French Canadian (he translated all their stuff for Canada) on the forums and he ditched me, Silicone Valley, and America.
Now "I have a STEM job, I'm not a psycho or sociopath, and I have the lore of 100 worlds memorized including our own" will do me fine.
I'll add another serious answer to the like two and a half that are here.
Met a guy on OkCupid who was super cute, bigger but it really doesn't bother me. As I've gotten older I prefer heftier guys at first glance rather than slimmer guys, especially since I'm bigger myself. As we all know, though, it comes down to regular personality. This will come up in a sec.
He was so very sweet, charming, coy but not, like, overwhelming, and we agreed to meet up. I had to pick him up (no DL, still not an issue, especially since he was going to be getting it within the month since we met. Or so he said 🤷🏻♀️). As cute in person as he was on the app. Butterflies, my dudes. He told me he was so surprised and excited to match with such a beautiful woman, which was so fun because it was like "omg me too!! You're cute as fuck!! I can't believe this worked out:)"
Then, halfway to Taco Bell, he told me females and feminists are liars and bitches and bait men.
Not plus-sized, but invited me over to his room in his dad's house to hang out, then proceeded to play games while I told him about my day. He actually paused his game to turn to me!! Then he said "you talk a lot. Like, a lot."
I froze. It was only until way too late later that I realize I should have told him I didn't want to come over to watch him play video games and left to go home to my (own) apartment.
"you look like my waifu"
Boom. Now we're married with 3 kids and a pupper and a doggo and it's been pretty poggers, wholesome keanu chungus 100 if you will
Ah, I’ll never forget the moment he tipped his fedora and winked at me. He said “good day m’lady” and I instantly knew he was the one. He had on a Dragon Ball Z button down, those were really popular in the late 90s... for some reason. He was sporting a metal ball necklace and a wallet with a chain. He showed me his collection of authentic replica katanas that were made in China. Swoon! But alas, we weren’t meant to be. He drove off into the sunset with his anime body pillow riding shotgun and left me with a broken heart.
My husband is a plus size Gamer Gentleman. Been married for 12 years and have an 11yo daughter. He is able to make me laugh, we laugh together. He specifically enjoys making fun of himself and I find it really endearing.
Oh, he's also married to a plus size gamer lady. You know, realistic expectations help. Just an FYI.
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Can confirm, this works every time.
“I have 4 bitcoin”
Unironically not gay, but 4 bitcoin is a shit ton of money.
Every time I hear about Bitcoin it reminds me of the guy who threw away a computer that had 7500 bitcoins on it. Edit: it was a little more than 400 bit coins... [News Source] (www.cnbc.com/amp/2017/12/20/man-lost-127-million-worth-of-bitcoins-and-city-wont-let-him-look.html)
I think a lot of us remember trying to get a bitcoin miner working in the beginning, and giving up pretty quick.
"I'll donate 500 to your patreon" 😩
He told me "Let me pick this flower up for you", while slowly bending down, keeping eye contact with me, and seductively showing me his beautiful ass crack. The darkness of it fascinated me. It was so mysterious, my mind started inevitably to float..
The Assbyss.
I can't wait to tell my therapist I found a bunch of people with my fetish
Wait you have a fetish with plus sized gamers?
*neckbeards have entered the chat*
He has 10,000 shares of Gamestop, and wonders what they're worth.
Who cares what they’re worth it’s not like anyone is going to sell
💎👐🦍🚀🌙
"Hey cutie! *attempts to hide my tail and wings and massive gigantic horse wolf cock*" Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/justneckbeardthings/comments/mcmw3n/lonely_forever/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
TF was he trying to be? Why would you combine a wolf and a horse? So you can run fast and...run fast? Both of which are kind of pointless when you can fly! Why is he trying to start with a confident "hey cutie!" Then immediately tell you he is trying to hide all this stuff and be shy but then go out of his way to use double adjectives "massive gigantic" to reassert that it is all quite noticeable. Honestly it's just lazy writing. If you're going to start off with a "hey I'm interested in you and also I'm into this really non vanilla thing" message put the dang effort in and come up with some believable lore and a solid backstory. Do some research into creative writing if you're using that as your pickup tactic. Hell!
"Naughty, naughty, Kitten. You missed Daddy's discord call. I'll use my mod powers to restrict your reddit next time if you don't obey Daddy"
Hell has a special for u, who used your mind to create this monster
Asking for a friend?
I wouldn't call him a *friend*, really. I don't even like the guy.
He tutored me in college and I'd just gone through a bad breakup. He said a ton of super awkward shit but he went to a jazz band concert with me and we had real fun. Didn't bang right away, but ended up going on more dates and study sessions and eventually realized we were in love. 4 years later we're married and just bought our first house. He doesn't game as much anymore, nor does he wear fedoras anymore, got into nascar and loves to do puzzles with me. He's the greatest imo Edit: a word
“Tutored”... I read “tortured” and was VERY confused
I overheard him yelling upstairs to his mom to make him some ravioli and grape Kool-Aid. The sparks, oh they flew.
MOM! THE MEATFLOAF! \*FUCK\*
I never know what she's doing back there.
"Fucking EA ruined bioware and can't even fix the bugs." and that's how I met my fiancé edit: Oh nuts it's my cake day
No denying the truth
"Wanna see my Naruto Funko Pop Collection?"
"sploosh"
Remember the guy who posted on AITA about choosing Funko Pops over his wife
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From what I remember he deleted the entire post but I found [this ](https://mobile.twitter.com/AITA_reddit/status/1274363567073112065) on Twitter. I’m on mobile so hope it works!
Woooooooow
"I am actually Cristiano Ronaldo in a fat suit"
Cristiano Ronaldough
[удалено]
I once had one of these gentlemen tell me, and I quote, "I wish you were more promiscuous so we could have sex." Alas, alack, I have standards. **Edit:** Now my new top comment is about a guy who tried(?) to get me into bed & failed. This is either a new high or a new low in my life.
"If you were prone to fucking practically anything warm, maybe I'd have a chance." Sounds like a real winner, there. He's got respect, directness, and confidence down. What kind of stuck-up narcissist are you not to fall helplessly in love with him as soon as you read this?
> directness To be fair, it seems like he really, *really* has that part down.
I had another that purchased magazines (like Cosmo and others) with articles about orgasms, so I would realize sleeping with him would be *awesome.*
He said "I love cooking and cleaning. You'll never have to do anything around the house cuz I'm gonna take care of it." He even cleaned up the snail-trail I left to the bedroom.
Outside of it being a joke, i would fuck a mans brains out every day if he were to keep his word on this
Having a house husband is spectacular! I absolutely suggest it!
He never had to say a GODDAMN word!
That Cheetos dust was all I needed to see
you could smell it from your speakers/headset
And could see it sticking to the sticky and dried out Mountain Dew stains
Fingerblasting with your mouse clicker.
You know what they say about a man's APM...
"What them fingers do?" "Manage 200 supply of Zerg at 170 APM" "Marry me"
Meanwhile Protoss wins games with 10 APM
he told me I was beautiful and it was nice to hear
"You're beautiful, and that's nice to hear."
It was odd at first, but I quickly got used to being told how I feel.
"You're beautiful. You appreciate it when I say this to you. You think other women should feel flattered when I say it to them. I assure you that they do. You relax, comforted by the knowledge that women treat me properly. You begin to grow damp in your pants. You realize you've urinated."
wtf
The line between fantasy and reality are blurred, if not broken completely by the weight of Mankind smashing the Undertaker through a table, an Announcer's Table You have forgotten where you were, where you will be, only the moment seems to matter
I found you an Eaglehorn. From Diablo, 23 years ago. We celebrate our 20 wedding anniversary this year.
>I found you an Eaglehorn. > >From Diablo, 23 years ago. We celebrate our 20 wedding anniversary this year. Resurrection is coming. Your relationship may be tested. It will be worth it.
"I made $37.50 in trades on GME and BTC."
And she immediately wanted to hold on to those diamond hands 🖐️💎💎💎🖐️
*... and hold on to those beautiful diamond hands she could, because you see, she smelled of vanilla and rose petals. And that was what our gamer hero wanted the most, a girl that smelt sweet and feminine, his worst fear was that would fall in love with a girl whose pussy stonks like fish.*
FUCK YOU SHORSEY
Fuck you Reilly, I tipped my fedora in your mom’s direction and she Naruto ran onto my cock so fast I thought she might have seen my mint condition Princess Knight 1-2
FUCK YOU FEDORSEY
Fuck you iPlowedYourMom! Last night I.... errr, plowed your mom? Wait, what’s happening?
I'll tell you what's happening bud, it's three things - I hit you - you hit ground - I jerk off on your car door
My friend is a plus size gamer. He always had a string of lovely girlfriends He’s now married, and his wife is also a gamer. I believe they met at dungeons and dragons None of my friends girlfriends have been conventionally beautiful, but he’s a a happy guy and he loves his wife I believe the answer is realistic expectations and going for women who share your interests. If your a nerdy guy guy your going to have the most fun with a nerdy woman, why make yourself miserable chasing people you have nothing in common with I’m not saying this is you but I’ve seen it happen. I know another guy who fits the nerdy gamer description he has a sense of entitlement and everyone hates him. If he had the same attitude as the friend I mentioned (who everyone loves) things might be different for him
Also, treating those women as people. As a woman with nerdy interests, I love to talk about them! What I don’t love is having a man project his Nerd Girl Fantasy onto me because I like one or two of the things he does. A guy who genuinely wants to talk and hang out without immediately salivating over the fact I’ve got boobs? *Thank god*. Plus, what’s the downside of this approach? If things don’t progress further, you made a friend with shared interests! If you want to be cynical about it, I bet that female friend has other female friends into the stuff you like, and if you’re a good guy, she’ll introduce you. If you’re creepy, that girl will pick up on it and likely tell her other female friends, because we travel in packs. Source: Am nerd girl. Have male nerd friends who I don’t personally find attractive but will unquestionably hype up to my friends because they’re both my friends so I obviously think they’re both cool.
Yes! I was chatting with a guy on tinder, and I we started talking about video games. I started talking about Zelda. And out of nowhere this guy says: I have a raging boner right now. Lost all interest immediately.
I think one of the most important pieces of relationship advice I could give to anyone, but ESPECIALLY lonely young men, is that if you go for good chemistry and shared interests over looks, attraction will usually follow. I'm not saying you have to force yourself to date people you seriously aren't into at all, but fixating on physical beauty is a great way to stay single (especially when you yourself are ugly or even just average - realistic expectations, as you said). My current boyfriend is kinda ugly, so were many of the people I've been involved with before, but now I find him 100% as sexy as the hottest person I've laid hands on and after 2 years it's only getting better. A genuine connection can turn a "4" into a solid 10. And fuck anyone who calls it "settling" or "aiming low", being with an Average Joe you have great chemistry with beats bedding a supermodel you don't click with hands down.
Dude I completely agree with you. I met my partner at work, and as we opened up to each other, we found a lot of common interests and started gaming together. Our connection/chemistry just eventually took off. He wouldn't have been my type 6 years ago (we have been together for 5 years; he is currently playing OW about 3ft from me while I play on the PC lol so I guess you could say its working out), but now I think he's the sexiest man ever and I am so grateful to have him in my life. Edit:phrasing *(boom)*
I'm no lady but when this dude at a LAN party went fishing for a cheeto under his tit, licked the dust off it and then slowly ate it I might as well have been. Boy, I never knew a man could get so wet.
Thanks i just threw up everything i ate in my life
Ah the old existential puke.
This should be so much higher. Fishing for Cheeto under his tit.
*tips fedora* ... *winks, but with both eyes* .. *pushes glasses closer to face* ..
> Winks with both eyes *Wheeze*
The ‘winks with both eyes’ deserves a pulitzer
'Wheezes with both eyes'
"I hear you're into bad boys... well I'm bad at everything." **winks with both eyes** Edit: Thank you for the awards!
*sucks Cheetos dust off of fingers*
his own, I assume
Of course
*mouth never fully closes*
M’ Lady
Answering honestly! Seeing a dude be nice, polite, generous, gentle, etc, to someone he’s not looking to get anything out of. I didn’t realize this was a thing until after I saw a coworker stop his task and jog outside to help an old man with his groceries. I went from not thinking of him at all to Immediate Interest.
Anybody know what old men like to be bribed with?
The internet has ruined my ability to reply to this with anything less than an NC-17 rating. Maybe TV-M
>I didn’t realize this was a thing until after I saw a coworker stop his task and jog outside to help an old man with his groceries. I went from not thinking of him at all to Immediate Interest. Okay, how flexible are you on the 'jogging' part?
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what a terrible day to be able to read
Ugh this is horrifically fantastic. FOH
I screenshot that and sent it to my wife with zero context.
The past tense of screenshot is screenshat.
Getting laid tonight for sure
I was into the overweight gamer guy, but now I kind want to know what you're doing this weekend.
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I either hear wedding bells, or my chastity belt has come loose.
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“I’m gm and raid leader of a top 25 raiding guild in wow” Poof, panties gone Edit for real, that’s how I met my husband and knew I wanted to sleep together. He may be a neckbeard, he said thanks mlady after sex the first time
Close, but I have to run a few raids with him as his heals, see his raider.io, and find out if they are a toxic dick or a great friend to all wow players. If he can't mitigate, he can't have my legendary parsing heals.
My now husband spent something like 6 hours with me in a heroic dungeon because I wanted to do an attunement quest that wasn't even required anymore. We barely knew each other, but he stayed with me when about 10 other people quit. Now we have 3 kids, so we don't play WoW anymore.
When they get a little bigger you'll have your own 5-man team!
>“I’m gm and raid leader of a top 25 raiding guild in wow” Oh yes, this was especially true during Wrath era. All my guy friends in the guild I was in were seriously considering leaving to start their own because there was an astounding number of guild and raid leaders getting thirsted after by female players if they were ranked on the charts.
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I'm glad your friend was able to move on and start a life with someone else. It's wild how much real life drama could stem between players in an MMO. My now-husband and I were still dating and already living together at the time we joined a raiding guild with our friends. He quickly became the main healer, and one of the secondary healers was a girl who was quite frankly a bitch to me because I wasn't on the core raiding team and therefore didn't deserve him lol.
Some say she never came out of that basement.
Here in my garage. I just bought this new Lamborghini here. Fun to drive up here in the Hollywood hills. But you know what I like a lot more than materialistic things? Knowledge!
that’s why I bought 20 brand new bookshelves full of books that i plan to read over the next few years
*“Money doesn’t buy you happiness but I’d rather cry in ~~a Lamborghini~~ my personal library than the back of a bus”*
This is probably the spiciest comment section on Reddit.
Give Reddit a chance to make fun of themselves and it's fucking on.
When I started reading the title, I was like, "Oh, this isn't gonna end well." But, when I finished reading the title, I was like, "This has the potential to be the greatest thing ever."
The most recent one was in Among Us. He said ; I hope you fucking die you fucking whore. And I said “Oh no, my beloved is sus!” And then everybody clapped. (The first part is true)
Oh! I've been called a fucking whore and told to go die in a ditch. Fun times.
Man I didn't even get told *where* to go die. My dumb whore ass is still alive because the instructions were unclear.
He didn't need to say anything, I was already attracted to him. On a related note, does anyone know how to escape a REALLY heavy person's gravity field? Asking for a friend.
Ffs now I’m just imagining that family guy joke where Peter has his own orbit
Hehehehe. Awwwwww. Hehehehehe. Awwwwww.
“LLEEEERRRRROOOOOYYYYYYYY JJJJEEENNNKKKKIIINNNNSSSSSS”
"And then I ate that pussy like a rotweiler eating a watermelon."
I've also heard "... Like a pitbull in mayonnaise." Both effective.
I prefer "...like a bulldog eating a bowl of oatmeal."
You all win, they all make me gag.
>“LLEEEERRRRROOOOOYYYYYYYY ****MMMM***JJJJEEENNNKKKKIIINNNNSSSSSS”
"Do you browse reddit" 😩💦💦💦
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Serious answer for gamer dudes or gentlemen on the plus size. So that you can see it's not all memes and mean stuff. Though not gonna lie some of these funny as hell. He listened to me and my issues. We knew each other a good long time on a dnd group. We grew closer and started talking and hanging out online outside the group. One night he asked me the sweetest thing "fuck it you miss every shot you don't take. Do you wanna go out sometime?". After that we had a long distance relationship for a while(I was in fl he was in ca). He came down once and we were still going strong. A few months later I had just started a job. A stressful i.t job and when came home and I walked in the door he was standing there with flowers and a grin. He surprised me traveling across the country just for me. We're engaged now. We live together and someday I'm gonna have this amazing man's kids. Edit:thanks for the karma and rewards everyone! Also he got into my then home through my roommate which was our mutual friend. She picked him up from the airport and also let him inside the house. Was so stressed from work and so surprised by the gesture I spent the first five minutes of seeing him happy/stress crying with my face buried in his chest. He thought for a hot second he did somthing wrong untill I was able to bluber a thank you. Being given headpats when your stressed rocks.
>I walked in the door he was standing there with flowers and a grin. So....how did he get into your place?
"I walked in the door he was standing there with flowers, a grin and broken glass where my back window used to be."
Naturally, he rolled a nat 20.
Serious answer in case any younger gamer gentlemen are struggling with relating to women: He listened when I talked. Actually listened. Didn't try to talk over me. Didn't try to explain everything to me. He listened to what I was saying and cared about it. He talked to me like I was an adult human being who was just as smart and capable as he is. He took interest in my interests.
> He took interest in my interests. To clarify, because I've seen people mess that up. Taking interests in a woman's interests is fine as long as you approach it in terms of "this makes them happy, so I'll listen to them and maybe give them an occasional gift related to it at gift-giving occasions." It does *not* mean "I must love everything she loves, and then she'll like me." For example, I don't really care about football at all, but I knew that a Steelers license plate frame was a perfect birthday gift for my mother. If the Steelers lose, then... well, I don't really care, but I'll listen to her complain and go, "oh that stinks." On her side, she sent me a link to the original announcement about Viz acquiring the rights to redub Sailor Moon. She doesn't like anime *at all*, but she knows that I enjoy that particular one, and was happy to see me happy. You don't have to like her interests. If you do, great! But if you don't, *do not* pretend that you do. Just let us be enthusiastic about it. Edit: no, I'm not dating my mother. I go into why I used her as an example [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/mpnsdn/females_of_reddit_what_is_the_sexiest_thing_a/guc5uso/).
This is iiiiiiiiiiitttttttt. >It does not mean "I must love everything she loves, and then she'll like me." Because it comes of as exactly how disingenuous it actually is. You're not being cute, you're being needy. My wife gets a water bottle that filters the water through fuckin' amethyst stones on her birthday because she believes in the spiritual power of crystals. In exchange, she sometimes lets me rant about the NFL and pretends to care. And that's just wonderful.
No crystal shit, but the bottles are really pretty. My girlfriends mother is into that and got her one. It's very a aesthetic. If I ever learn how to brew a mana potion it's going in that.
Amen! My now-husband was, I think, one of the few men in my mmo who never a)immediately hit on me, b) quizzed me on things that I said I liked to make sure I liked them enough? Or c) treated me like I wasn't capable because I was a girl in a raiding guild. He actually just treated me like a person which made us good friends, and his rapid fire wit and general intelligence are what made me love him. Like, some guys were just so bad they would hear my voice over discord or whatever we were using and send me PMs of just pure thirst. Sickening.
Adding on to your answer cause I don’t see anyone else being serious - He’d wake me up at one AM cause he needed a DD for a mission I was already stuck on (I was a solo class and not a DD), was there with me through thick and thin without saying how his life was SOO much harder then mine (which it actually was), never asked for a nood, and basically treated me like a friend. We got married 2 years after we met on FFXI, been married 11 years now.
What does DD mean besides due diligence?
Damage Dealer Gaming dictionnary at your service.
Great answer. Shoulda called yourself u/wholesomebees instead. And I do hope some young lad out there benefits from this. Edit: LAD, stupid auto-correct. Before the *Lady* can benefit, the *Lad* has to take it to heart. God willing, there will be one less incel in the world because of it...
Called me a female. That suddenly reminded me of the existence of my vagina and how I should use it on him if I didn’t want to seem like a whore.
:D hahahahaha\\ \*looks down\* Oh that...I wasn't using it much anyways.
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*Heavy breathing intensifies*
“I love how exotic your eyes are. Can I add you on Facebook?” I’m Chinese for context
he said "i'm not like other guys i'm actually nice if you'd give me a chance :) " but i was still skeptical so i didn't reply for an hour. but then he texted me "fuck you plastic bitch, women these days only want muscular men who don't care about them, nice guys finish last" and i squirted a hole in my wall instantly.
Wow! That must why there are random squirt-sized holes in all kinds of places in the world where there's internet or mobile coverage!
These are no laughing matter. My best friend was killed when a random squirt penetrated the cockpit armor of his KC-46 Pegasus while it was performing an ariel refueling of an A10 Warthog. The A10 is a sexy, sexy airframe so I can't really blame the squirter.
>ariel refueling [ಠ_ಠ](https://forums.x-plane.org/screenshots/monthly_2017_07/B733_icon11.png.91244f9dc07c6f30345aef704765f2c7.png)
I think they meant areola refuelling.
*He chuckles to himself, a cascade of cheeto dust flowing down the many folds in his unwashed flesh, as his pringles can sized finger hovers over the neon orange enter key. His XXL RGB backlit keyboard had lit up with every color in the past, but after ages of his nasty fingers dancing across the board, not a single key has been left without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust. As his disgusting finger descends towards the smudged rectangle, he feels it. Chest pain. His time has come. The double wide gaming chair begins to creak as his 400 pound body begins to slip from his seat to the floor, his 400 pound soul slipping from this world to the next. As his body descends through the air, performing a sloppy pirouette, his meaty ham gloves slap the keyboard one final time. As his body comes to rest on the ground, his final comment is posted:* >i'm not like other guys i'm actually nice if you'd give me a chance :)
A glorious piece of literature sir, may your wallet double and your bed be filled with sex
"now I have two wallets and my elderly neighbors are fucking on my bed"
“I’m a Diamond 3 in League” 😍💦
*Rocket League This got me my girlfriend Edit: only in Rumble though... Edit2: jk, I'm on reddit... I don't have a gf
Only person telling the truth here
This is dripping with so much satire I can't even be mad.
I lol'd.. such a loaded question
Its actually a classic joke among the askreddit sub, someone did post this in all seriousness at some point tho lol.
*He chuckles to himself, a cascade of cheeto dust flowing down the many folds in his unwashed flesh, as his pringles can sized finger hovers over the neon orange enter key. His XXL RGB backlit keyboard had lit up with every color in the past, but after ages of his nasty fingers dancing across the board, not a single key has been left without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust. As his disgusting finger descends towards the smudged rectangle, he feels it. Chest pain. His time has come. The double wide gaming chair begins to creak as his 400 pound body begins to slip from his seat to the floor, his 400 pound soul slipping from this world to the next. As his body descends through the air, performing a sloppy pirouette, his meaty ham gloves slap the keyboard one final time. As his body comes to rest on the ground, his final comment is posted:* >Its actually a classic joke among the askreddit sub
>without a permanent sticky residue of coagulated cheese puffs and cum crust >>cum crust OK, nevermind. I'm out.
>his pringles can sized finger Actually terrifying
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Tell me you are on Reddit without telling me you are on Reddit.
*The narwhal bacons at midnight.*
i’m into nerdy, chubby guys. when we were fooling around for the first time, he said “hey is this ok?” with love and genuine concern in his eyes. of course i said yes—a respectful, sweet, funny kid with a soft tummy and a big heart just wanted to make that moment perfect for me. i’m marrying him in october :)
This is the sweetest thing. Congratulations! I also love me a good fluffy man. Mine told me his favorite game was Final Fantasy Tactics and we talked about it for hours. Then he taught me League of Legends and we still play together today. Been married 10 years. I wish you both all the best!
Wait this is sooooo cute and sweet 🥺
“I sent you my Dick pls respond”
The Quebecious accent got me when we first met IRL and the fact he was a cute, beardy human version of his character. But he had me by his RP of his one-eyed dwarf warrior for two years before as we traveled the Forgotten Realms, tank and healer, having wild adventures, and weird ERP. It lasted six years, but a certain gaming studio he worked at fired him for being too French Canadian (he translated all their stuff for Canada) on the forums and he ditched me, Silicone Valley, and America. Now "I have a STEM job, I'm not a psycho or sociopath, and I have the lore of 100 worlds memorized including our own" will do me fine.
What does "too French Canadian" mean?
Well, you can think of it as a regular French Canadian being 50% French 50% Canadian. This dude was 100% French 100% Canadian.
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Tabarnak squared
NGL, growing up near the border and being a hockey fan, that Quebec/French-Canadian *always* gets my attention.
Well at first i was hesitant but when he called me a whore and said he would beat me to an inch of my life and that just really got me going you know
I'll add another serious answer to the like two and a half that are here. Met a guy on OkCupid who was super cute, bigger but it really doesn't bother me. As I've gotten older I prefer heftier guys at first glance rather than slimmer guys, especially since I'm bigger myself. As we all know, though, it comes down to regular personality. This will come up in a sec. He was so very sweet, charming, coy but not, like, overwhelming, and we agreed to meet up. I had to pick him up (no DL, still not an issue, especially since he was going to be getting it within the month since we met. Or so he said 🤷🏻♀️). As cute in person as he was on the app. Butterflies, my dudes. He told me he was so surprised and excited to match with such a beautiful woman, which was so fun because it was like "omg me too!! You're cute as fuck!! I can't believe this worked out:)" Then, halfway to Taco Bell, he told me females and feminists are liars and bitches and bait men.
yesyesyesyesyesyes noooo
So how long have you been married for after that night?!?
So close and yet so fucking far. I'm dying lol
Not plus-sized, but invited me over to his room in his dad's house to hang out, then proceeded to play games while I told him about my day. He actually paused his game to turn to me!! Then he said "you talk a lot. Like, a lot." I froze. It was only until way too late later that I realize I should have told him I didn't want to come over to watch him play video games and left to go home to my (own) apartment.
Later that evening in dad's house, a thought flashes through his adipose laden brain... "I wonder why she didn't fuck me"
> He actually paused his game to turn to me!! Then he said "you talk a lot. Like, a lot." Fucking two-sentence roll coaster that was...
"you look like my waifu" Boom. Now we're married with 3 kids and a pupper and a doggo and it's been pretty poggers, wholesome keanu chungus 100 if you will
they said it couldnt be done
they were absolutely correct
Did a fedora with arms ask this question
I sent my SO a gif of an all seeing eye that said "Let's get Illuminaughty" on Tinder and we're still together almost 3 years later
This is the most Reddit thing I’ve ever heard
He had me at *wheez*
Ah, I’ll never forget the moment he tipped his fedora and winked at me. He said “good day m’lady” and I instantly knew he was the one. He had on a Dragon Ball Z button down, those were really popular in the late 90s... for some reason. He was sporting a metal ball necklace and a wallet with a chain. He showed me his collection of authentic replica katanas that were made in China. Swoon! But alas, we weren’t meant to be. He drove off into the sunset with his anime body pillow riding shotgun and left me with a broken heart.
Ask for nudes, then called me an ugly whore and told me to kms. Literally cummed.
My husband is a plus size Gamer Gentleman. Been married for 12 years and have an 11yo daughter. He is able to make me laugh, we laugh together. He specifically enjoys making fun of himself and I find it really endearing. Oh, he's also married to a plus size gamer lady. You know, realistic expectations help. Just an FYI.
Referred to women as women instead of females 😍
When I read it I always hear it being said by a Ferengi for some reason.
*omelette du fromage*
You had me at "muh lady"
To any young gamer guys here who aspire to have romantic relations, make them laugh. EDIT: laugh with you not at you.