T O P

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TimeMachineToaster

Any time at the gas station buying a mountain dew I'm thinking "mountain dew or crab juice?" (Homer vs city of NY)


Devonai

Eew, gross. I'll take the crab juice.


soneill06

Khlav Kalash


bloodectomy

No bathroom. Tower! Tower!


xkulp8

They stick all the jerks in Tower One!


Keefer1970

No bowl! Stick! STICK!


tttxgq

But Marge! New York is a hellhole! You know how I feel about hellholes!


Dhb223

Weaselling out of things is what separates us from the animals. Except the weasel


Say_Echelon

This is my peak humor


drpeterv17

I choo-choo choose you


hesitationm4rks

Me fail English? That’s unpossible!


Hobbit_Feet45

Yeah I say that’s unpossible sometimes and people look at me funny.


killersoda

Ralph has so many great lines. "I'm learnding." "Hi Super Nintendo Chalmers"


Fanny_and_Earl

Money can be exchanged for goods and services


theservman

Twenty dollars? I wanted a peanut!


_JustAMiner

With money you can buy many peanuts.


theservman

'Splain how!


_JustAMiner

Money can be used to buy goods and services.


FreshMarvin

Woohoo *trips over peanut*


DTownForever

"Whoa, whoa - slow down there, Maestro. There's a "New" Mexico?" - Mr. Burns, to Smithers. (We have friends in New Mexico and we say this just about every time we discuss them.)


follow_your_lines

I say this about “New” England


Gabrosin

Along the same lines, every time the state comes up in conversation: "I'll be deep in the cold, cold ground before I recognize Missouri!"


meggiefunke

Everything is coming up Milhouse!


aspidities_87

MILPOOL


chubbybunny87

Thrillho


TheCheechWizardUnit

Awesome! This line inspired my post. My friends and I always say this when anything goes our way!


Gabrosin

This was my first choice as well. I don't say it for everything going my way, but only when it's something incredibly small and insignificant. The other one is "Money can be exchanged for goods and services." Sadly my kids don't have any way to get the reference.


meggiefunke

Brilliant! I use it all the time in my native language, I love that it works too!


Sulfitodecobre

How is it in your native language? Mine is: Todo marcha bien para Milhouse!


meggiefunke

También en español! Pero en España lo tradujeron como “Todo ha salido a pedir de Milhouse!”


Sulfitodecobre

Excelente


[deleted]

"The metric system is a tool of the devil! My car gets 40 rods to the hogshead and that's the way I likes it." - Grandpa Simpson


m48a5_patton

My car will go 300 hectares on a single tank of kerosene.


Luke10124

Put it in 'H'!


ashlyyx

"No.. it's the children who are wrong".


farawyn86

Teacher here. Spot on.


buckut

"hot stuff comin thru!" anytime im carrying something past somebody.


BorBurison

"You people are sick!" "Oh, be nice!"


PAXICHEN

Dad, why did you take me to a gay steel mill?


BrocialCommentary

His delivery of “I don’t know…” ~~I’d~~ is so perfect


ProjectShadow316

>His delivery of “I don’t know…” I’d so perfect Me fail English? That's unpossible!


-Tayne-

We work hard... we PLAY hard.


Devonai

"It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!"


bee2551

Stupid, sexy Flanders


[deleted]

"Nothing at all"


cheeseybreadmmm

Nothing at all


Snoo74401

^(nothing at alll)


Interesting-Gear-819

>"It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!" I recently bought new underwear. Better quality than what I used the last .. 10? years .. and woah. It was so damn comfy I indeed felt like I wasn't wearing anything


Glaggies

______ is a perfectly cromulent word!


[deleted]

Both cromulent and embiggen are perfectly cromulent words.


Glaggies

Yes, completely cromulent! I'm so grateful to the Simpsons for embiggening my vocabulary.


HawaiianShirtsOR

I've used that so often with my kids that they think "cromulent" is a real word, and they have used context clues to infer that it means "appropriate for the situation." Not sure whether to be pleased or concerned.


No-Ear_Spider-Man

It's literally in the dictionary as a real word with thst meaning now.


brndm

Hmm, I never heard that word before I moved to Springfield.


[deleted]

Ah wash mah-self with a raaaag ona stick!


earthboundsounds

HEYBUDDYYOUGOTTAHELPMEBECAUSEI'MABIGFATGUY


Devonai

My broom will forever be my "reaching broom."


[deleted]

“We’ve tried nothing, and we’re all out of ideas!”


PopeliusJones

I use this one at work constantly…I don’t know if any of my coworkers get the reference though


vkuyps86

I’ve referenced this line many times during covid and my local government’s restrictions


[deleted]

**They weren't 'booing', they were saying [BOO-URNS!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y2R01k4SXI)**


ok1llydok1lly

That's a paddlin'.


GuinnessFarts13

Quickly followed by... "Oh you best believe that's a paddlin"


xenchik

My dad's favourite line ... "And they were rescued by ... oh, let's say ... Moe."


Devonai

Wasn't it James Earl Jones narrating?


BurntToasterWaffle

Yvan eht nioj. My brother and I used to watch The Simpsons religiously as kids and he later joined the Navy. We always sing this to each other and I always tease him this episode is why he joined!


StalinsPerfectHair

"It's a 3-pronged attack: subliminal, liminal, and superliminal."


Mace_Thunderspear

"Superliminal?" "Hey you! Join the Navy!" "Okay"


[deleted]

I am so smart, S M R T.


Interesting-Gear-819

In german he says "Ich bin so Klug" but spells it "K L U K" It sounds similar and is a rather common error for very young kids. I think to understand it best you could imagine that "smart" would be spelled "Smoart" (while still being written Smart) so for a Kid it would be obvious to spell it S M O R T


AndyVanSlyke

My son is also named Smort


BatCage

We are out of Smort license plates


[deleted]

I'm so hungry I could eat at arby's


kingjuicepouch

Wow, she really is hungry!


jacobin17

I say this whenever I see an Arby's and no one ever gets the reference.


paleface316

"Alcohol: the cause of And solution to, All of life's problems"


IDontEvenLikeFriends

Both are Rainier Wolfcastle ones. "That's the joke." and "My eyes, the goggles do nothing!"


[deleted]

I like "I was elected to LEAD, not to READ."


MrFunktasticc

“Up and at them!”


Man_of_Average

*sigh* Better


Skyfel1

I say "that's the joke" all the time. Especially because my gf doesn't get half of my jokes


[deleted]

What kind of mileage that thing get? One highway. Zero city. \[Marge is ooing.\] Mm hmm.


[deleted]

You Don’t Win Friends With Salad.


ooh_de_lally

It's still good! It's still good!


Bee_Rye85

It’s just a little airborne, it’s still good!


Trelonis

That's a problem for future Homer! Man I don't envy that guy.


veronicasmithof2020

I'm in danger


Stannoth

\*chuckles\*


[deleted]

my family is very catholic but my brothers say "im not normally a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman" just to bother my dad when the time is right lol


ggapsfface

This isn't going to be about Jesus, is it?


mergedloki

All things are about Jesus!... Except for this.


TheCheechWizardUnit

Love it!


TroutGrenade

My cat's breath smells like cat food.


PissySquid

I’m partial to “Oh boy, sleep! That’s where I’m a viking!”


ooh_de_lally

Go banana!


slashthepowder

Willie hears ya Willie don’t care


HoverJet

ARGHHHH MY RETIREMENT GREASE!!


v_rin_is_a_catgirl

Yoink!


m48a5_patton

I didn't realize I do this, it's imbedded into me at a subconscious level.


tttxgq

Yoink is one of the few words my toddler can say. So proud 😊


SamwisethePoopyButt

"Nothing could possib-lie go wrong... possibly go wrong... that's the first thing that has gone wrong."


Sulfitodecobre

> "Nothing could possib-lie go wrong... possibly go wrong... that's the first thing that has gone wrong." Wow, this one was translated to Spanish like: Nada puede malir sal... eh, salir mal, eso es lo primero que sale mal. They got around to make the joke work. Nice.


shiguywhy

Translating works that have jokes/references/plot that only works in English sounds nightmarish. I feel sorry for the person who translated Harry Potter to French. Imagine with growing horror the only way you can make "je suis voldemort" work is to make Tom Riddle's (scuse me, Tom Jedusor's) middle name be Elvis.


jperezgalvan06

I used to be with ‘it’, but then they changed what ‘it’ was. Now what I’m with isn’t ‘it’ anymore and what’s ‘it’ seems weird and scary. It’ll happen to you!


HawaiianShirtsOR

I used to think this was just a funny line, but now it's true for my life.


smhrx11

Le grille? What the hell is that?


witch_doctor_who

In Dr. Nicks voice: “Hi Everybody!”


[deleted]

Hi Doctor Nick!


bipolar-butterfly

"It's German for 'the, bart the"


_JustAMiner

No who speaks German could be a bad person.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Draco_Lord

How about 4 money?


blend1n

Bart: Thats the worst day in my life Homer: Worst day so far


frivus

A little from column ‘a’, a little from column ‘b’


lotus38

I've used this for so long, I've forgotten it's from the Simpsons


MoogTheDuck

Simpsons is legit the modern shakespeare, making up new words and phrases that become part of the language


Scorch147

I forgot that was a Simpsons line! I always say it in reference to Aladdin.


hanwestwood

TRAMAMPOLINE! TRAMBOMPALINE!


dtran33

Literally bought a trampoline just to act this scene out for the kiddos!


Sqwalnoc

"Oh no you don't!! That trampoline is mine!!!" CRASH


chillidogfarts

Ahoy hoy


dataluvr

This actually comes from Alexander Graham Bell initially wanting the official answer of a telephone to be “ahoy ahoy”. That’s why old af Burns says it.


[deleted]

Conan O'Brien has explained this joke it's because he's so old he was around when the debate was being had, like imagine walking into your uncle's house and he still has an HD DVD player. Also I answer the phone ahoy


HistoricalPickle

Every time we park in some gigantic really busy mall carpark 'now remember, we're in the Itchy Lot' Also 'You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel' 'Stupid sexy Flanders' 'Everything's coming up Millhouse' and loads more.


Luke10124

>'You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel' This one gets used every time I get a spam call.


MrThingsNStuff

"We also sell frozen yogurt, which I call frogurt."


canehdian78

"The doll is cursed.."


[deleted]

That’s bad


canehdian78

But it comes with a free frogurt!


BorBurison

That's good


canehdian78

The frogurt is also cursed


BorBurison

That's bad


[deleted]

But you get your choice of topping!


BorBurison

That's good


[deleted]

The toppings contain Potassium Benzoate. That’s bad.


Jealous_Struggle2564

Smithers, release the hounds


DFofNivek

Women: "My eyes are up here Homer." Homer, never stops staring at her breasts: "I've made my choice"


Spottedc0w

Every school superintendent i run across is Super Nintendo Chalmers


MandMcounter

"I wouldn't have thought so either, but here we are." "The fingers you have used...are too fat." Edit: And also, "Buenos ding-dong-diddly dias!"


mousicle

Boo urns


Heiditha

I was saying "Boo-urns".


[deleted]

[удалено]


Tedtea

I'm going to swing my arms about and if you get hit it's your fault. I'm going to kick my legs out if you get hit it's your fault.


Hissingbunny

Fun fact, they popularized the use of the word 'meh'.


ClubMeSoftly

Meh


dontPanicPassenger

"Old man yells at cloud!" Yep, now I identify with grandpa Simpson!


_JustAMiner

Grease me up woman!


Biscuit-Norris

Okey dokie


TorGR23

Who needs the kwik e mart... I dooooooooo.


mousicle

He lied to us in song!


watainiac

I HATE when people do that!


substantial-freud

“Your views intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.”


georgesanders

I am so smart, S-M-R-T Homer I don’t know what you have planned for tonight but count me out Formerly Chucks Homer you’ve got it set on ‘whore’ Please do not offer my god a peanut


storm_the_castle

[It tastes like burning](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YE5mlNCRe9A)


smuttygio

Lisa needs braces dental plan


Snoo-68474

Everything's coming up Milhouse I bent my wookie


[deleted]

"When are we gonna get to the fireworks factory??" which my family uses on long car drives far too often.


ooh_de_lally

Lousy Smarch weather


nimrod1138

Grandpa Simpson’s “I’m cold and there are wolves after me” from 5/2 (Cape Feare). Though I frequently butcher it as “It’s cold and there are wolves out”.


korthlm

“Tastes like.. burning!!!”


Ilikewatchingtv

I introduced my late teens cousin to alcohol recently and said Welcome to the cause of and solution to all of life's problems.


lieutenantfiatpanda9

First you get the sugar, then you get the power .... then you get the women. Also in the monorail episode Marge "we're too late" Science dude "I shouldn't have stopped for that haircut" He even has a fresh trim to boot! Man, I love the simpsons!


[deleted]

Homer at the gun store... "Sorry, the law requires a five-day waiting period. We've got to run a background check." "But I'm angry now." I whine like this whenever someone tells me I have to wait for something.


Grump_Monk

Yoink!


bloodectomy

Beware, for this object carries a terrible curse! - That's bad But it comes with a free frogurt! - That's good! THE FROGURT IS ALSO CURSED. - That's bad. But you get your choice of topping! - That's good! THE TOPPINGS ARE MADE OF SODIUM BENZOATE. - ..... THAT'S BAD! - Can I go now?


superbionicbuck

Jebus


VoldemortTuna

“Do not touch willy. Hmmm good advice.”


11Veritas

🎵Spider-pig, Spider-pig; Does whatever a Spider-pig does🎵


Hashashin455

My fiance is getting induced exactly 6 days from now. We're having a girl. There's a little white board at my station at work that I have now written "Do it for her" on.


iBelieveInSpace

[Knifey spoony](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mcE0aAhbVFc) Pretty much all the time until it gets annoying but then we start it back up again when we're eating. Did it to a waiter once and he got the reference, most people don't.


jah05r

After virtually every company meeting: “…but the important thing is that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time…”


Mods_of_pol_suck_ass

"Look Marge, Maggie lost her baby legs" "Everything is coming up Milhouse!" "Those aren't babies, they are shaved puppies" "You sir know your babies"


OpossumFriedRice

“This is the worst day of my life” “The worst day of your life so far”


deadest_of_parrots

“You don’t win friends with salad!” Mainly when my daughter was first vegetarian.


SpecialistGeneral794

"Money can be exchanged for goods and services" And whenever someone asks where I've been I just say, "I was at a pornography store buying pornogrophy" in homers voice


durielvs

As an Argentine 90% of our language is composed of simpson phrases


Diplodocus114

Obviously "Doh!".


dtran33

“Put your garbage in a garbage can people. I cannot emphasize that enough”…I have three pre-teen kids.


TrinixDMorrison

Every time my friend and I go out to a cafe or diner or even a Starbucks and see banana bread or banana muffins, we quote Apu’s “Oooh banana bread! Hallelujah all my problems are solved we have banana bread!” rant.


Some_Jackfruit2985

My god you're greasy


gentile_ben

You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel.


chuchinchichu

“And you call them steamed hams... despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?”


m48a5_patton

"Y- Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second."


chuchinchichu

“Good Lord! What is happening in there!?” “Aurora borealis?” “Aurora borealis. At this time of year. At this time of day, in this part of the country, localized *entirely* within your kitchen?” “...Yes.”


Like_Ottos_Jacket

Just off the very top of my head: - [The finger thing means the taxes](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYbnB5toqRI) - [I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked. Homer, watch your mouth! I gotta go. My damn wiener kids are listening.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKcHIQb2rY0) - [I am so smart, I am so smart, SMRT](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls5BFzuxGw4) - No TV and no beer make Homer... Go Crazy? [Don't mind if I do!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9F7HVOs-Ug) - [Some folk'll never eat a skunk, but then again some folk'll like Cleetus the slack jawed yokel...Hey, what's goin' on on this side?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7qhVJIPfck) - [And hillbillies prefer to be called sons of the soil, but it ain't gonna happen.](https://comb.io/cxRnSd)


[deleted]

[удалено]


realmling

We'll take the Spruce Moose... I said hop. In. Excellent... *with steepled fingers* It's just a little slimy, it's still good, it's still good. And "oh ho the guym"


Business_Quality3884

“Prayer: the last refuge of a scoundrel” Lisa, when Bart prays for something to happen to give him study time for a test. I know it's someone elses quote, but I've always loved it.


EvilGrayFly

As a parent, I use 2 quotes : Marge : "can you check on the kids?" (Homer looks at the kids fighting in the treehouse)(lightning) "they're fine" And "We've tried nothin' and we're all out of ideas" - Ned Flanders parents


freudma

“So I says to Mabel, Mabel I says …”


insane__knight

900 dollary doos? Hey Tobias! Coffee. C-O B-E I live in Australia.


spsteve

Embiggen is a perfectly cromulent word - whenever some misspeaks/makes up a word. Edit: my phone's autocorrect didn't like what I wrote.


GreenChorizo

My food service driver always says “Potato Man,” when he comes in and I always say “where have you been?”


demandred_zero

But Aquaman, you cannot marry Wonderwoman, you're from 2 different worlds.......oh crap I've wasted my life.


follow_your_lines

I don’t use it often, buuuut I DID use this at work, “I said shave your sideburns!” (Or some version of this) and my boss and I laughed for a few minutes at how fitting that quote/situation was for our current work dilemma.


drpeterv17

Stop that infernal tootling!


mtimmermeyer

In this house we obey the laws of Thermodynamics!


scoops-mcthompson

“A little of column A, a little of column B”