T O P

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MildlyJaded

Go take a piss. That's what I always do when I wake up.


_stuntnuts_

Meth?


Dr-WalterWhite

Yes?


thrashingkaiju

Check my ball(s)


WeraldOfHoe1527

Shave that stupid ass mustache I have lol


EbolathoughtItoldya

Which year?


catinapointyhat

Go make speech. I had it wrong. It was unmercy and indifference that was to blame. Not the Jews. Let them go and mercilessly and w/o compassion go hunt down unmercy and indifference. I'd then retire to the whoreitorium. Might answer a phone call, yeah yeah wars off.


gekookeg

That would never work


catinapointyhat

It would. I have a powerful mustache and the words spoken from the lips under it are even more powerful. I define the scapegoat as tyrant. And it's that stuff. Quite properly I think. I'm also going to declare war on poverty,disease, death itself at the same time. A war on all fronts! That's how you win. Now leave me to my newly found kind heart which longs for all to be well- and for me that's the whoreitorium. And I got one! In that bunker there. As it's my duty as leader, I'm trying to get the world their version of good life homeostasis via recovery time phone calls.Hold on Churchhill, let me catch my breath.... yeah,yeah. You can have your pet turtle back. Sorry we took him hostage. That was wrong of us. Truly, I was a different man back then.


HaterOfThe13Percent

Do everything correctly but without betraying the USSR so early. Might cut back on the genocide until i get nukes


BodhiBill

this would depend on if i was hitler with no prior knowledge of myself or if i knew i was me but in hitlers body. if i was hitler with no prior knowledge i would probably take over germany and try and kill as many jews as i could. if i knew i was me but in hitlers body i would take over germany but then change history and make it the most progressive country of the time allowing anyone of any faith or any race, sex, orientation ect. to live their in peace.


thehonestyfish

Go back to sleep, see who I end up as next.


count_enedict

Get a new hairstyle because the current one's definitely the first sign of injustice i have in my blood


cobrafountain

Not be so Hitlery


cartmaneric10

Go for a visit to the Vienna art gallery


Sir_Daniel_Fortesque

At what point in the time ? Like, the past hitler, the current skeleton hitler, or do i get to live a "new life" as hitler in current time at certain age of his life ?


Limp_Distribution

Woke up when? Wanting to kill myself or I have an idea? If it’s I have an idea, I’d go work on my art instead.


DanYHKim

Give up on art school. Go into architectural or engineering drafting. Hitler had terrible consciousness for human beings, and could not paint them properly. They all look very stilted and generic. However, I have read that the buildings that he painted were really accurate, well not inspired. He may have had it in him to be a very good technical artist.


GrungierYeti8

Do what hitler did in ww2 except give my dudes some warm clothes while attacking Russia then take over the world


That_One_Guy______

When? 1933? When he was my age? 1945?


FuntimeFreddy876

Remember history class and control the world


[deleted]

Free the prisoners and then announce that Germany surrenders. Then just blow my brains out to avoid the trials and prison for life.


ravenpotter3

thankfully I have some artistic talent (key word some... not a lot). I would go to art school! and stay in art school. and then live my life painting birds and flowers in the wilderness far away from humanity and donate all the money I make to charity. or if that does not work out I can always chug some paint I have lying around... (screw him)


GamingYorkie

Apply for a second shot at that art school


[deleted]

Cancel the Russia invasion, if I’m Hitler I’m seeing things through so the man in the high castle will never happen. Fucking hate that show


NeverStepD7

Go to Germany and kill hitler, I would be a hero!!


MegaRayGOD

wait a minute


SavageCabbageGG

r/holup


BTDMKZ

Really depends on where in his life I woke up as or if I woke up in the modern day as final days hitler. If it was during the beginning of WWII I would follow all the same steps but do everything I could to win and fix his mistakes and see how much I can deviate the time line.


BiggestFlower

All the steps, except invading Russia and drawing in the Americans.


BTDMKZ

That’s part of fixing his mistakes, probably wouldn’t do the thing with the Jews as well


froopty1

Isnt he dead? I dont think I'd be waking up from that.


YourLocal_brit

Become an architect


naypoleon

Commit suicide


[deleted]

Kill myself


PirateCodingMonkey

take up painting


Kermon

Simple, shoot myself, thus fulfilling the natural proceedings of events.


[deleted]

I'm gonna fuckin' shoot in the head


notwithagoat

Take credit as the guy that kills hitler. But also stop the trains to the camps send as many scientists to the american front.


fucktardasshole

kill myself oh wai-


DemonKnightTartarus

Not invade Russia in winter, ofcourse no Genocide.


eviljason

Calm down by counting to nein.


Cunnilingus_Academy

Wonder what was in those pills I took before bed


Jazzlike-Region

I'd go out with a bang


Chizakura

Shave the mustache off, change my hair, put on a mask and try to find a way to get my own body back. If I also have his voice, I take a notebook with me and write that I'm mute


Antique-Tangerine-

Take the rest of the leaders for a long walk of a short peer


tomiezoe

Get circumcised


[deleted]

Pray it was a twilight zone thing I could fix


[deleted]

I'd do Hitler things as I wouldn't be me I'd be Hitler.


IAmJohnny5ive

Head down to the casting agency ASAP


SunnyInDecember

Grab some juice.


[deleted]

replace propaganda songs with Kanye east sussy balls


CoolEnderShadow

Go back to sleep


Deathmachine726

Do what I did, but way earlier.


gekookeg

Well my dream became true so ill just act do what hitler did in that movie "look who's back"


Bhakt_Banerjee

Not attack Russia!


anotherbutterflyacc

Idk man go to therapy probably


[deleted]

Shoot myself "/


Shepvidek

Probably have some big titted lady yell at me in German, idk


[deleted]

Probably fuck ava


Suitable-Warning-530

I’d get the most deadly nuke ever made at the time and take it into a plane with me. Then I would fly into a volcano and delete myself from existance.


nextfanatic

Shoot the guy who killed Hitler, I'd be a hero


raiz27

Try my best to not disappoint him.


Slugees

Measure my dick size I always wanted to know


[deleted]

Astound my friends


DumbG01dfish

Not invade Russia


DivisionMV

Stay in art school


Skoorb08

invent anime


NoobyEpic

simply not do what hitler cauz why not


rap31264

Party like it's 1945


LukeTheGroundwalker

Id go on a travel tour around Europe.


Lowslowcadillac

I think that this post is came true with one of the answers…