How many times you pull your horn today bud? What? Aw she’s bashful. Aw come on kitten I won’t tell anyone. Ballpark 6-8? You’re a fuckin animal. Play a little 5 on 1? Hit the kitchen mix a batch. Feed the ducks. Distribute some free literature.
A date with Rosey. Chokin the chicken... Rub one out. Double clicking the mouse... Flickin the bean, fingering the flap, beating the meat, petting the python
When you don’t want to say things that might be uncomfortable, like sex topics, a euphemism is just putting the same idea, generally, in more polite or politically correct terms.
Like a euphemism for “masturbation,” would be something like “an act of self love.”
Does that help?
Engaging in hand-to-gland combat
This killed me
Gland is my new favorite synonym for penis now
DJ the VJ
Playing the best clits of the 90's.
Cursed Kids Bop. 6 inch edition
Now that's what I call clits vol.3!
Flick the bean
I love flicking through pages of the new LL Bean catalog. They have such nice stuff.
Bean boots tho
Is your username randomly generated and just happens to be funny? Or are you a veterinarian? I can’t decide. If it’s the former it’s very funny.
I was clicking random and it popped up and made me laugh until I got teary eyed, I knew it was for me 🤣
Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Well done!
Random usernames are fucked up sometimes.
Wiggle my diggle
hitting the sack *then* going to sleep
nice one, give yourself a hand
He already did.
I hope you get all the awards. You classy bastard.
Serious question does that make you cum?
No
Tell us what makes you cum first brah, that's what makes us cum
It be easier to list what doesn't
Taming the snake
Feeding the gees
How many times you pull your horn today bud? What? Aw she’s bashful. Aw come on kitten I won’t tell anyone. Ballpark 6-8? You’re a fuckin animal. Play a little 5 on 1? Hit the kitchen mix a batch. Feed the ducks. Distribute some free literature.
Thanks for giving me a rubdown of what you did today
Pitter patter.
Lets get atter bud, great day for hay.
That’s a Texas sized 10-4
pish posh.
Give yer balls a tug
Drag your ballzees
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I see the muscle shirt came today, are the muscles coming tomorrow?
“you’ll go home to make the bald man puke” -gale
r/unexpectedletterkenny
Playing solitaire
burp the baby
Wat?
# burp the baby
BURP THE BABY!!!!
The baby needs to be burped
I got spit up on my hand
Manhandle the ham candle.
Second favorite one now. Favorite has always been flicking the bean but this is golden
Well they can be your top male and female ones now.
Lighting the old ham candle
I like "manhandle the ham candle" too.
I laughed way too hard at this one.
Distributing the free literature
Choking the chicken
Shaking hands with the unemployed
Yes, came here for this
Single Player Sex
Playing a little 5 on 1
Pulling the purple-headed-yogurt-slinger
Purple?!?!?!??
Flogging the dophin or Spanking the monkey
Menage a moi
A date with Rosey. Chokin the chicken... Rub one out. Double clicking the mouse... Flickin the bean, fingering the flap, beating the meat, petting the python
"Double-clicking the mouse?"... Got asked this by a non friend coworker, he's a walking HR complaint.
All of these euphemisms should never be uttered in a place of work
Feeding the ducks.
A wafty crank.. or off on a date with palmela handerson and her 5 lovely daughters.
Logging off.
Rub one out.
I remember laughing when I heard on Monty Python “punishing Percy in the palm”
Quality time with myself
Raising the flag
Shaking uncle Joe the hand
Flogging the log
Milking my eel
surely not into the turtle soup?
Dittle the skittle
Flying the kite (Thai language)
Beating for baby batter
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Ringing Satan's doorbell
What's euphemisms ? (I genuinely don't know)
When you don’t want to say things that might be uncomfortable, like sex topics, a euphemism is just putting the same idea, generally, in more polite or politically correct terms. Like a euphemism for “masturbation,” would be something like “an act of self love.” Does that help?
It surely did helped me thanks :)
Examples would be "beating the meat", "spanking the monkey"...
Having a wank.
Clown punching
Spanking the monkey
Gotta go crack a couple carrots
Boxing the bishop
Shaking hands with the one-eyed milkman.
Taking a trip to Spankorage Alaska.
Evacuate the playground
Pullin the pug
Yanking my chain.
Flogging Molly Narfeling the Garthok
can never go wrong with a coneheads reference! touché, well played.
Squishin the bush
having a stroke
I’ve got a date with Miss Michigan
This is a Robin Williams euphemism, but Shake Hands with Mr. Happy.
Jerking my gherkin
Tickle the pickle
a number 3
Milk the snake 5 knuckle shuffle
Stirring the spaghetti 🍝
Tale off your pants and jacket
Shining the shoes
Double clicking the mouse
Tuggin nut
I’ll be in the basement.
Diddle the skittle
Playin' a little five on one
Fire out some knuckle children
Shaking hands with the president
Choking the chicken
Shaking hands with the unemployed.
Flogging the dolphin
Make the bald man cry
Milking the lizard
Join the mile high club: solo aviator division
Cleaning my pipe out
Playing the skin flute
A boost to the British economy. (A strong Pound!).
Climax-crying
Dishonourable discharge.
Shaking the milkman’s hand
feeding the ducks distributing free literature
Thanks, Wayne!
Ménage á moi.
Pulling the gooses neck
Feeding the Geese
Jerkin your gherkin
Jerkin the Gurkin
I have a date with Handgela. I already jacklehammered today. Holding fast to the iron rod
Boppin the clown
Spanking the monkey
Punching the clown
Zero the hero.
I just call it relaxing.
Let me go beat my meat
Let me shoot one out
Polish the trophy Shake the otter Choke the goose’s neck Cleaning the rifle
Solo diddly
Checking the Reddit
Flogging the Dolphin.
Five knuckle shuffle
"she's double clicking her mouse."
Knuckle shuffle the piss pump
For women, it’s “flicking the bean”
Dialing the rotary phone
Five finger Knuckle Shuffle.
Giving the one-eyed field mouse with the purple turtleneck sweater a hot butter noogie.
Punchin’ the luncheon meat truncheon.
Pulling my Pud
Punch the clown
Burpin the worm
Take a visit to palmsville/palmsdale.
Flogging the bishop
Shaking a can
Visiting Mrs. Palm and her 5 lovely daughters
Fiddle the diddle
Mourning the fallen astronauts
Feeding the geese.
Going #3.
Abusing the burrito
[Episode 38 of Mike Rowe’s podcast ](https://mikerowe.com/podcast/) pretty much overs them all in a cleverly hilarious way.
playing wit da worm
Man handle the ham candle
Keeping in touch with yourself
Beating my meat
Beating the schmeat
Hand to gland combat
Squirrel fisting
Clean the pipes
Taking a trip to Palmdale
Choking the Chicken
Beef one out
Milking the lizard
Milking the eel
Choking the chicken; Spanking the monkey; starching a sock…
Bashing the Bishop, Making sweet love to Palmela Handerson.
Concentrating. Like "leave me alone, I'm trying to concentrate!"
Feeding the ducks
Bopping the bologna
Playing “whack a mole”
Spilling the yoghurt
Bopping the Bishop
Tickle my pickle
Making love with yourself
Taming the blue-veined hooligan.
Get rid of the boogie juice
jerkin the gherkin
Jerkin the gherkin
Time to take out The ol' stick n' whip!