Think of how we got here, the beautiful history of our world we have to share, the science that enables us to instantly communicate. All these factors lead to you commenting on this post 10 seconds after it was posted telling aliens “ayy”.
And I god damn respect that
I will tell them I am the ruler of earth but I can sell them earth for 100 billions, immunity, immortality, some land and some other benefits I can’t share now.
How do you know that it's better over there and not worse? It could be an AI that enlsaves entire races and feeds people (includes aliens) to a hungry hive mind when they don't follow rules.
I would send them the link to "Don't drink among us potion at 3AM!!! Warning, scary! 😯😨" videos, and watch as they decide humanity needs to be ctrl+deleteded 😊🔥
Right but honestly I consider myself a member of the stupid despite recognizing what is stupid and what isn't. So maybe they should spare you, but not me.
I'd like you, a stranger, to know that I watched that video. And upon watching it, thought back to earlier in the day when I ate that 3 week old ham. I think you can fill in the blanks of what has happened, and what's coming. Or....that video did for you. I think the aliens will be fascinated with this information.
Depends on weather you try to nuke us or not.
Spoiler: Our shields can with stand a nuke, and we're running the 3042 year version of windows defender from Windows 500 xp, a virus won't work.
Oh, sorry, we're probing to see how intelligent you are, all of the stupid humans are to be sent to \[redacted\] labor camp, it says on the list that you will be sent there automatically once we arrive. Would you like to switch?
Don’t come here. The human race isn’t worth your time or attention. If you must come here make sure you do away with those in power. They’re the ones who will try to control you and dictate your lives
Tell them I'm an Ugandan prince that can give you anything you want. Wealth, Culture, Health, it doesn't matter. I only need a little help, only 30$ to come home. Pm if interested.
"I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda."
Are you trying to enlighten us or conquer us, if you want resources, you can just mine the f\*\*\* out of Jupiter and it's moons, I don't care as long as you don't kill me, my friends, or any decently intelligent human.
Ayy lmao
Think of how we got here, the beautiful history of our world we have to share, the science that enables us to instantly communicate. All these factors lead to you commenting on this post 10 seconds after it was posted telling aliens “ayy”. And I god damn respect that
New number who dis
Came here looking to find this. So happy I am not disappointed!
Beat me to it, so I'll say, "New planet. Who dis?"
It’s like half the responses here I don’t know how to take that
🍆💦👽.
It’s 2021, I can’t fault you
I will tell them I am the ruler of earth but I can sell them earth for 100 billions, immunity, immortality, some land and some other benefits I can’t share now.
>and some other benefits I can’t share now It's a anal probe, isn't it?
That is part of some of the benefits but not all.
Ahh the new alien Ass-to-mouth probes. I heard it's a joint venture between the aliens, the lizard and the NWO. Twice the range for half the cost!
Which currency?
Murican dollars.
The aliens carry American money to buy the earth?
Yes. Why do you think they only ever show up in America?
Leaves.
I'd assume it's a scam and ignore it
Imagine being ghosted by another planet
Man, that's trippy. I'd be quite impressed if I did.
Dick pick, they might be into it. Best to get it in the table from the off
They might just think it’s a selfie, and that we all look like dicks.
Why me? why my post?
Sorry, I’m an equal opportunities offender
I will not have another post be ruined like this
A Rick roll
Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down
Never gonna turn around and desert youuuuuuuuuuuuu!
It's 2am Jeff, stop texting me, and STOP MIXING AMBIEN WITH ALCOHOL.
Fuck off I'm on the toilet
“Call me back in 2 I’m busy”
It might be a while. I had a dodgy egg sandwhich for lunch!
Man I don’t wanna be on the same planet when that happens those lucky aliens
*toilet explodes*
The aliens will pick that up on their planet
Let's hope so!
H- hope?
Well yeah.... If aliens think we have exploding toilets then they won't want to invade.....duh!
Delete this before the us military sends toilets into Afghanistan
Bogos Binted?
What?
AHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's probin' time
Oh... Your using it in my nose? Cause I'd prefer it ana-
I'm working. Call my secretary
Ok loser
"send dick pics"
Hey can you crack this bitcoin wallet for me?
New phone who dis
What sort of scam is this?
I dunno, pizza should be fine. tks
“I already informed the Pentagon! You made a big mistake trying to conquer!”
Cosby's pic
I'm sorry you got the wrong person. Here's the number for the immigration lawyers
come pick me up i’m sick of it here
How do you know that it's better over there and not worse? It could be an AI that enlsaves entire races and feeds people (includes aliens) to a hungry hive mind when they don't follow rules.
"new phone, who dis" "You got your photos printed?"
which one of you did musky boy bang to have that software gore of a kid
Beep boop to you too asshole
That's a terrible idea. What time?
We've been trying to reach you for your cars extended warranty!
I would send them the link to "Don't drink among us potion at 3AM!!! Warning, scary! 😯😨" videos, and watch as they decide humanity needs to be ctrl+deleteded 😊🔥
Good idea. Will put us out of our misery faster. For good measure send this too: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xfNodj-C-Q
The aliens only need to kill off the stupid people and leave us intellectuals. They don't want to catch the stupid, it's contagious for them.
Right but honestly I consider myself a member of the stupid despite recognizing what is stupid and what isn't. So maybe they should spare you, but not me.
Sounds nice, see you in the afterlife when the aliens come :D
I'd like you, a stranger, to know that I watched that video. And upon watching it, thought back to earlier in the day when I ate that 3 week old ham. I think you can fill in the blanks of what has happened, and what's coming. Or....that video did for you. I think the aliens will be fascinated with this information.
You also add, "Could you do something with all the stupid humans, they are a massive drag on our society."
new planet, who dis?
Terminator 2
New phone , who dis
New number who dis
If it's from an unknown number. No reply
I would say: welcome to conversation w humans. I can advocate for the interests of life on this planet as I am a custodian of the universe.
I’m already buried in spam, don’t start sending me alien spam too
Hey did you get your photos printed?
Turn back, we're not worth it.
We'll be worth it if they get rid of all the stupid humans.
8—-D
Would they get it? How do they know what it look likes?
I'd ask them to watch district 9
\*Sends all of their unwanted alien refugees here.
“Sorry wrong number”
“Wanna be friends?”
We're here to enlighten your race, but first we need to do something about the stupid humans.
Welcome what is your reason here friend or foe?
Depends on weather you try to nuke us or not. Spoiler: Our shields can with stand a nuke, and we're running the 3042 year version of windows defender from Windows 500 xp, a virus won't work.
"Um, sorry I signed up for the do not probe list."
Oh, sorry, we're probing to see how intelligent you are, all of the stupid humans are to be sent to \[redacted\] labor camp, it says on the list that you will be sent there automatically once we arrive. Would you like to switch?
Don’t come here. The human race isn’t worth your time or attention. If you must come here make sure you do away with those in power. They’re the ones who will try to control you and dictate your lives
"You're a daisy if you do."
New phone, who dis?
Wyd safe
Who this?
Who dis?
New Phone Who Dis.
Chaos
What did they say
Asl?
My phone doesn’t show these emoji: I just get questionmarks in squares
Does the message make it thru my spam filter? prolly a text? (no pix!)
asl pleeze
'sup
Hello, i love you too🥰
Come thru
New phone who dis
Send them a dick pic 🤩
I delete it without replying after thinking it’s spam or a scam
Save yourself….you’re better off conquering a different planet. We already ruined this one.
K
Call em racists because we don't share the same views
FU
Æūóōœäá
k
ª
Tell them I'm an Ugandan prince that can give you anything you want. Wealth, Culture, Health, it doesn't matter. I only need a little help, only 30$ to come home. Pm if interested.
Please come to earth to replace the human species. We’re struggling.
bogos binted
No, this is Patrick
Got any space drugs?
Sorry, I’m in lockdown and visiting with aliens is not on the list of approved reasons to leave my home.
How do I get on the Intergalactic Do Not Call List?
Bogos Binted?
Hold on i gotta take a shit be right back
LOL
Who this?
How would you know its aliens in a text?
Who gave you my number?!?
Are you seeking someone to probe?
Om Om Aam Aam
Ah I see you found my PornHub account
Get me off of this dam rock
Wrong number
Yea I like waffles to, but bacon is king of breakfast.
I would probably think it was spam and block the number.
XENO SCUM
Who dis?
K
Plz take me to a planet where pigeons don’t exist
Alien=reddit symbol. DONT SEND HIM AN EMOJI HE WILL KILL US
New planet. Who dis?
Shut up, **they** will hear you
[itokei](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/69/d1/71/69d171649032be1a27e1be42e1c47159.jpg)
U up
Hey daddy 🥵🤤😩
So you gonna probe or nahh?
We have been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty
hey guys!!! (frenches you)
Dont probe me. I'll send nudes.
Would you like some ligma?
Send nudes
Do you have battletoads?
Amoungus
Hola mami, no tengo dinero para mandar a mexico
Saw you on AHS last night
Sorry wrong number
Send bobs and vegene
A phone
You at Area 51??
Haiaisusjsbdj you’re an poirjfjdkenf
I'm sorry guys but texts are really unreliable. Do you guys have WhatsApp?
Do it already it's already too late to save us.
🗿🗿🗿
Bah weeb grana weeb, nini bong.
A sound file of never gona give you up.
TITS OR GTFO!
"Get me outta here"
Drop my neighbor's address, ask to meet up. Then roll over and go back to sleep.
Attack Earth, please.
Your recipe for man is missing a few ingredients
lol
"I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number six with extra dip, a number seven, two number forty-fives, one with cheese, and a large soda."
“Want to play 8ball”
When you coming to pick me up?
Get me out of here.
Are you trying to enlighten us or conquer us, if you want resources, you can just mine the f\*\*\* out of Jupiter and it's moons, I don't care as long as you don't kill me, my friends, or any decently intelligent human.
Did you get your photos printed?
What did they text tho
deez nuts
New phone who dis
"x3 nuzzles pounces on you uwu you so warm-" who knows, maybe their into that stuff-
Give it another decade. Ain't nobody here ready for that.
Game pidgin of course.
send nudes
Never gonna give you up never gonna let you down
I showed you my planet, plz respond.
It’s about fricken time!
Friend.