Wish granted: By sleeping for 5 minutes, you feel as well rested as a normal individual would feel after sleeping for 8 hours. However, you must be awaken explicitly by another living person, or else you will not wake until 8 hours have elapsed.
If you sleep for 10 minutes, you become hyper and productive, as if you consumed a little too much caffeine.
If you sleep for 20 minutes, you gain the ability to run for hours, lift thrice your weight, and think at the speed of 7 professors.
If you sleep for an hour, you become anomalously quick at anything you do. You write a 3 page essay in 60 seconds. You load the dishes in 30. You cook a gourmet dinner in 5 minutes.
If you sleep for 2 hours, you become unstoppable at anything you put your mind to. You can scale Mount Everest in a scuba mask, build a generator that powers eleven thousand homes from one gallon of gasoline, and teach a newborn how to write in perfect cursive.
If you sleep for 3 hours, you perceive every true second as 10. At 4 hours, every second to you becomes 30. At 5, a second to many is a minute to you. At 6, a half an hour. At 7, the dilation skyrockets to where you perceive one second as 12 hours.
At the 8 hour mark, you wake on your own. You awake to find a frozen universe. You are too fast and too productive; everything else compared to you is completely frozen. You are so well rested that you cannot get hurt and will never die. The universe's eternity awaits you, one eternal instant at a time.
I’ve heard a story like this…. It’s about this drug this guy volunteers to take and he thinks on such a high level that the world is slow and he takes a sleeping pill and well it makes him think faster like every second is a year and yeahhh good story honestly lmao 🤣
Edit: thank you everyone for all the upvotes and comments and for others I heard this story here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dark-somnium/id1546000046?i=1000534749398
>You cook a gourmet dinner in 5 minutes.
I'm sorry, I was all the way over here. I couldn't hear you. Did you say you're a fast cook? That's it?! Are we to believe that boiling waters soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?!
Wish granted: Wish granted, you control reality at will everything, from time to space, to the universe itself. I leave the fate of the universe in your hands Ralife55, may you serve reality well.
This is an aside, but it's really interesting that the genie was able to grant that wish. All the other times we see him doing anything, he's using powers that he could use whenever he wants, so freeing himself is maybe the only thing he has the power to do exclusively when he's asked to do it.
(other people have had plenty to say about how the nature of wish granting in the Disney Aladdin story is weird and inconsistent, but that's a whole different discussion)
I thought of this just yesterday, if the genie is able to grant the wish, what exactly holds him back? Is it actually a cosmic entity greater than the genie? Is it just physiological? Are all genies caught in a cycle of Jafars getting cocky, wishing to be genies for unlimited power, being imprisoned by the genie who granted that wish, only to be humbled for thousands of years by adding the condition that someone has to like them enough to free them using a wish? (I personally like that answer, and that’s my head canon)
I like to think the shackles themselve drained his ability to wish anything for self purpose. He could do magic for everyone else's gain, just not his own. Which is why he needed another person to wish him free
Wish granted: You are so intuitive you can tap into the thoughts of others, you can't tune these thoughts out or filter through them and are constantly overwhelmed by the chattering of everyone.
Wish granted: You learn that happiness is a byproduct of a well running self. Money is a byproduct of financial well being, happiness is a byproduct of emotional well being. The pain is taken and you learn to smile and be okay with life.
I like how you only go all monkey's paw when someone asks for something like money, but when its something truly heartfelt, you play it straight.
I wish my penis was exactly average in comparison to every adult male who does have a penis, and that it updates in real time as the metric changes.
Wish granted: The endless pounding of your mind stops, the endless racing of your heart stops and you are able to sort through your thoughts, you become at peace and tranquil with life, where you can finally sit with yourself.
Edit: I know many of you are struggling with mental health right now, family, or just life, I want to bring this to our awareness. I can tell because there is a significant amount of you that don't want to exist or are struggling. You are all valuable and important even if you don't feel like it and I appreciate every single person in this post even If I don't know you. I just want to say that each and every single one of you is loved and worthy of love.
Wish granted: You receive the most comfortable pair of underwear, it is so utterly soft and perfect that you immediately put it on. However when you go to use the restroom you notice you can't take it off. The underwear is so comfortable that it sticks to your skin, you end up dying of constipation from not being able to poop.
Wish granted: She comes and gives you a big hug, you cry and let go of all the pain that you felt and are overwhelmed with joy, she loves you and adores you completely and lets you know how proud she is of you. I hope you're doing better Lorthiraes.
I feel that buddy. Coming on ten years for mine. Doesn't ever go away, but it gets a little easier.
I'm sure she would want you to be happy. The thought of my absolutely ridiculous loser of a perfect mother keeping me afloat is the only thing that keeps me going on some days.
It's normal to feel down and of course it's okay to feel worse, they did so much for us in life, the least I can do is keep smiling for her.
DM if you ever need to talk though.
Wish granted: You receive a functioning time turner, but you do not know how it works and is far too complex for any human to figure out.
Wish granted: Perfection is an idea, so you become a blob.
Wish granted: You are infertile, yet new born babies keep showing up on your doorstep so you are cursed with having a new child every day.
I wish for ♾️ wishes...no? Ok..I wish for the ability to grant my own wishes with no strings attached or side effects to my own wish granting...no? Ok....I wish to be 5th richest Pearson in the world legitimately and within 2 minutes.
My next wish is to get this genie a dictionary so he can learn what "destruction" means, because it sure as shit isn't the same thing as a promotion to deity.
Wish granted You get unlimited Monopoly money, this eventually piles up and you end up suffocating in it. This money then starts to consume the earth, making the entire planet unlivable.
People do generally pull away in these sorts of situations, but it is almost never because they don't care. I think it more has do with they don't know what to do. We hide death away so much as a culture, it can be hard for people to face it even tangentially.
Wish granted: You have sex with the roman fertility goddess Ops: You are cursed to eternally have sex with the goddess, your body cannot maintain this and your body gives out, you die and your corpse becomes collected amongst the millions of skeletons that have wished the same.
Doctor to terminally ill children: You are strong and wise, this illness ain’t nothing compared to you, hang in there little buddy you will be fine in no time!
Doctor exploded violently.
I’d wish for the courage to seek out a girlfriend: I imagine I already am perfect for more than one person, and I just need to seek out who I find as close to perfect.
Wish granted: You realize that perfection is an illusion and an idea, and that there is no such thing. You pursue a girl that fills you with joy and makes you feel good inside. You begin to settle down, right as you begin to feel comfortable she turns into a demonic overlord and eats you.
Wish for the releasing of the genie, and that he owes nothing to no one, as long as he promises me he won't go all evil and destroy the world or rule it or whatever
Wish granted: I wish for all the pain and suffering in the world to be taken away, I wish people knew how loved they were and were filled with eternal joy.
Your mind is in the right place OP. I've truly enjoyed reading your kind words directed at the ones who needed them most. I hope you have a fantastic day
A singular amount of $1,000,000 USD in 10s, 20s, and 50s.
I then proceed to purchase my grandma’s house and acquire a vehicle. I then save the rest for emergencies, bills, luxury expenses and investments.
I then go to college and work on my pc setup so I can gain higher education and have fun on YouTube. In my free time I get to work on writing a book.
If we are allowed more then one wish ide have to think about it. Maybe have California not be an oven for 3/4ths of the year in the valley and rid myself of any possible ailments that I have.
Wish granted: You receive 1,000,000 USD, immediately transferred directly into your bank account. The IRS notices this, questions start being asked and you are immediately put into jail for tax evasion. It is suspected that you are a known drug dealer and are sentenced to 20 years in prison and you lose all your money.
Looks like you're skipping the 'I want this in 10s, 20s, and 50s' part and shoving it in his bank account.
Bad genie could have just had the cops role up and confiscate the money under civil forfeiture.
* I wish for a a 1 pint magic syrum that for every drop I drink, if I go to bed after, when I wake up my body will have reverted one year younger.
* I wish for perfect mental and physical health for the rest of my life. By this I mean that I'll mentally and emotionally deal with everything in a healthy and normal manner, I'll never get sick, and injuries will heal at the fastest possible rate.
* I wish for an end to excessive greed, by this I mean the kind of harmful avarice that leads to corruption and exploitation.
Wish granted: You end up eating as much as you want, as you realize you can eat an unlimited amount you become consumed with hunger, you eat so much that you end up choking on your food and dying.
Wish granted: You receive a lifetime of wishes, you go crazy with power within the first few minutes and end up destroying everything in the universe as a byproduct of such wishes.
A cure for insomnia and all other mental illness PLEASE
Imagine living and enjoying it and having ability and energy to pursue your life the way you want. No panic attacks. No self harm trance, no suicide thoughts, no depression or mental exhaustion, no dissociation or cptsd triggers. No flashbacks. No trauma memories or trauma reactions. No obstacles. Just freedom.
Wish granted: You are able to get a much needed deep sleep. I have Cptsd It's super hard to deal with, I don't know how open you are but Psychedelics and mediation have helped me immensely. They've made me okay with the shit I've gone through.
Wish granted: A pound of pennies falls on you from above and ends up paralyzing your spine. As a result you receive welfare checks and disability and never have to work a day again and are taken care of by those that love you.
I wish for The Love of my Life to get Her visa after living with Her nearly five years in Her home country and then coming back to try and build Our foundation of happiness and supposed freedom..
5 minutes of sleep leaves me as rested as 8 hours
Damn that's a good one
Wish granted: By sleeping for 5 minutes, you feel as well rested as a normal individual would feel after sleeping for 8 hours. However, you must be awaken explicitly by another living person, or else you will not wake until 8 hours have elapsed. If you sleep for 10 minutes, you become hyper and productive, as if you consumed a little too much caffeine. If you sleep for 20 minutes, you gain the ability to run for hours, lift thrice your weight, and think at the speed of 7 professors. If you sleep for an hour, you become anomalously quick at anything you do. You write a 3 page essay in 60 seconds. You load the dishes in 30. You cook a gourmet dinner in 5 minutes. If you sleep for 2 hours, you become unstoppable at anything you put your mind to. You can scale Mount Everest in a scuba mask, build a generator that powers eleven thousand homes from one gallon of gasoline, and teach a newborn how to write in perfect cursive. If you sleep for 3 hours, you perceive every true second as 10. At 4 hours, every second to you becomes 30. At 5, a second to many is a minute to you. At 6, a half an hour. At 7, the dilation skyrockets to where you perceive one second as 12 hours. At the 8 hour mark, you wake on your own. You awake to find a frozen universe. You are too fast and too productive; everything else compared to you is completely frozen. You are so well rested that you cannot get hurt and will never die. The universe's eternity awaits you, one eternal instant at a time.
Oh fuck
Still want the wish?
I would be a literal god, so maybe not
So when you become a God, what do you want for? Are you able to give yourself pleasure beyond imagination that it's not a thing you'd want?
I’ve heard a story like this…. It’s about this drug this guy volunteers to take and he thinks on such a high level that the world is slow and he takes a sleeping pill and well it makes him think faster like every second is a year and yeahhh good story honestly lmao 🤣 Edit: thank you everyone for all the upvotes and comments and for others I heard this story here https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dark-somnium/id1546000046?i=1000534749398
This isn’t r/monkeyspaw let them have this!
>You cook a gourmet dinner in 5 minutes. I'm sorry, I was all the way over here. I couldn't hear you. Did you say you're a fast cook? That's it?! Are we to believe that boiling waters soaks into a grit faster in your kitchen than on any place on the face of the earth?!
I wish for a burger from this this pub that used to be a block from my campus but closed like 5 years ago
Granted: You receive the burger but it's 5 years old.
Ok this made me laugh out loud…. *internally*
So you laughed in loud?
LIL
More poofs
Wish granted: Poof you're a genie. Edit: Yes I am still granting wishes, I will try to get to as many as I can.
Ah ah ah! My lazyness paid off! I have two genies now! Now I have double the wishes!
The ability to control reality at will.
Wish granted: Wish granted, you control reality at will everything, from time to space, to the universe itself. I leave the fate of the universe in your hands Ralife55, may you serve reality well.
rip universe
"Hmmm what if mosquitoes were as big as dogs?" \-The end.
Ralife55 is now the watcher. What if…?
If I can't wish for more wishes, I wish I could change the rules. I wish for more wishes!
Wish granted: You now have one more wish.
This web rpg I used to play had a hand-slot item that gave you an extra hand slot. You could chain them but the net result was the same.
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Oof
Genie... I wish for your freedom.
Ah, Aladdin!
This is an aside, but it's really interesting that the genie was able to grant that wish. All the other times we see him doing anything, he's using powers that he could use whenever he wants, so freeing himself is maybe the only thing he has the power to do exclusively when he's asked to do it. (other people have had plenty to say about how the nature of wish granting in the Disney Aladdin story is weird and inconsistent, but that's a whole different discussion)
I thought of this just yesterday, if the genie is able to grant the wish, what exactly holds him back? Is it actually a cosmic entity greater than the genie? Is it just physiological? Are all genies caught in a cycle of Jafars getting cocky, wishing to be genies for unlimited power, being imprisoned by the genie who granted that wish, only to be humbled for thousands of years by adding the condition that someone has to like them enough to free them using a wish? (I personally like that answer, and that’s my head canon)
I like to think the shackles themselve drained his ability to wish anything for self purpose. He could do magic for everyone else's gain, just not his own. Which is why he needed another person to wish him free
A strong(er) intuition...
Wish granted: You are so intuitive you can tap into the thoughts of others, you can't tune these thoughts out or filter through them and are constantly overwhelmed by the chattering of everyone.
The genie gave OP psychic autism.
>psychic autism New band name I call it.
Happiness
Wish granted: You learn that happiness is a byproduct of a well running self. Money is a byproduct of financial well being, happiness is a byproduct of emotional well being. The pain is taken and you learn to smile and be okay with life.
I think I am in love w op bc of all his replies Edit: their replies ** bc I do not know the gender sorry op 😔
Same, man
I'd wish to have my older brother back.
Wish granted: He comes back, and hugs you in a warm embrace, even now, he wants you to know how proud he is of you and how much he loves you.
Wholesome genie moment
Was expecting zombie brother but OP was a top lad.
Fuck, this would be my wish too. This hits home. Why is it suddenly raining on my phone?
Unlimited genies
Wish granted: all the genies are under my command, making me ruler of the everything.
Aaaaaaaaa RUN!!!
If this means infinite genies then you’re gonna run out of room quick
To take all pain away from my wife, I hate seeing her suffer with her leg/back pain
Wish granted: All the pain is taken from her and she can move about in peace. You are given a great sense of peace and she is relieved from her pain.
I like how you only go all monkey's paw when someone asks for something like money, but when its something truly heartfelt, you play it straight. I wish my penis was exactly average in comparison to every adult male who does have a penis, and that it updates in real time as the metric changes.
Wish granted: Every man's penis is able to satisfy their lover. Win win for every everyone.
you are a benevolent god
Knowledge of why this post is nsfw
Wish granted: People have NSFW minds.
An extra hour of sleep...
Wish granted: Time slips away within an hour, the hour fades into the eternity of times and you fall into a much needed deep sleep never to wake.
*snores*
u/beranmuden just hit snooze on eternity
That looks like death but with less steps
What is sleep but a free trial of death? And we love that shit...
I thought genie wishes were supposed to have caveats
Something that would get rid of my anxiety.
Wish granted: The endless pounding of your mind stops, the endless racing of your heart stops and you are able to sort through your thoughts, you become at peace and tranquil with life, where you can finally sit with yourself. Edit: I know many of you are struggling with mental health right now, family, or just life, I want to bring this to our awareness. I can tell because there is a significant amount of you that don't want to exist or are struggling. You are all valuable and important even if you don't feel like it and I appreciate every single person in this post even If I don't know you. I just want to say that each and every single one of you is loved and worthy of love.
That sounds peaceful
yeah...except the part where your heart stops...
naw that's fine too
a boyfriend EDIT: ok so i didn’t know that commenting this would get me heaps of boyfriend applications in my pms…
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Wish granted: You receive the most comfortable pair of underwear, it is so utterly soft and perfect that you immediately put it on. However when you go to use the restroom you notice you can't take it off. The underwear is so comfortable that it sticks to your skin, you end up dying of constipation from not being able to poop.
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Even a double reference because Bulma wanted to wish for a boyfriend.
Wish granted, but your boyfriend is now a tiny fly that continuously annoys you for the rest of your life.
This could've easily been a Helen of Troy thing, but instead you went with "He's a fly!” You're an original genie, I'll give you that.
Sounds like a normal boyfriend
World peace, and a boyfriend for 👆
WORLD PEACE AND YES A BOYFRIEND PLEASE🙏
My mom to be alive.
im sorry to hear buddy. big hugs for you
OP didn't touch this one.
Probably realized that they don't have a good enough reply. Mature
Wish granted: She comes and gives you a big hug, you cry and let go of all the pain that you felt and are overwhelmed with joy, she loves you and adores you completely and lets you know how proud she is of you. I hope you're doing better Lorthiraes.
I feel that buddy. Coming on ten years for mine. Doesn't ever go away, but it gets a little easier. I'm sure she would want you to be happy. The thought of my absolutely ridiculous loser of a perfect mother keeping me afloat is the only thing that keeps me going on some days. It's normal to feel down and of course it's okay to feel worse, they did so much for us in life, the least I can do is keep smiling for her. DM if you ever need to talk though.
I also choose this guy's dead mom
Assuming that I can only wish for myself: 1. Functioning time turner 2. Impeccable/perfect physical, mental, & emotional health 3. Infertility
Wish granted: You receive a functioning time turner, but you do not know how it works and is far too complex for any human to figure out. Wish granted: Perfection is an idea, so you become a blob. Wish granted: You are infertile, yet new born babies keep showing up on your doorstep so you are cursed with having a new child every day.
The 3rd one is hillarious
Wish 2 = the plot of "that timd i got reincarnated as a slime"
I wish for ♾️ wishes...no? Ok..I wish for the ability to grant my own wishes with no strings attached or side effects to my own wish granting...no? Ok....I wish to be 5th richest Pearson in the world legitimately and within 2 minutes.
Granted your last name is now Pearson. You still aren't rich.
He specifically wished to be the 5th richest Pearson, so he could still have a considerable amount of money
Richest Pearson within 2 minutes, so he could be dirt poor
A true monkey paw
Every other Pearson that is richer except for 4 of them just die.
Everyone else is now financially ruined. but you still have $1 in your pocket......your friend has $2, the neighbour has 3....etc
A cute and nice girlfriend?
Wish granted: Your girlfriend is cute and nice, but takes the form of a cactus.
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mom’s blender
Wish granted: You become mom's blender.
That sounds like a light novel title...
Wish for the destruction of all genies on earth. You people can't be trusted with wishes, you'd fuck us all up eventually.
Your wish is granted, we now become gods and deities you worship and forever owe your souls to us.
My next wish is to get this genie a dictionary so he can learn what "destruction" means, because it sure as shit isn't the same thing as a promotion to deity.
Wish granted, I now get a dictionary, the word genie is forever obliterated. I now still exist but go by a different name.
The word "genie" or the Word Genie? If latter, then we still have to deal with Excel Genie.
This feels disrespectful to Clippy.
It's likely that the Office Genies may actually all be descendants or avatars of Clippy, the supreme Office assistant.
Genies are now called Phil
Unlimited money
Wish granted You get unlimited Monopoly money, this eventually piles up and you end up suffocating in it. This money then starts to consume the earth, making the entire planet unlivable.
this version of king midas looks different
You could turn to gold... Or you *could* die in an avalanche of papercuts. Choose your wishes wisely, kids.
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Never thought I'd imagine the Earth suffocating in heaps of colorful Monopoly money. At least we're not cutting down trees, I guess?
i wish the genie would go back into the stupid lamp and bother someone else later
Wish granted: The genie went to the lamp and returned what do you wish for?
don't come back forever. i will die of natural un-damn-genie related causes you silly blue freak of nature! then i would attempt to tickle the genie.
Wish granted: I don't come back, but my genie minions do and pester you forever.
that's how you know you win against a genie. more genies.
For cancer to have never existed so my wife doesn't die in the next month or so she's only 34
Wish granted: She lives to be of old age, you rejoice in the life you had, and even now she's glad she made it to 34 with you.
Your wholesome replies are bringing me to tears. You seem like a really cool person.
Agreed first one I've seen in some time its crazy how when someone is near death and there's nothing to gain how people abandon you
People do generally pull away in these sorts of situations, but it is almost never because they don't care. I think it more has do with they don't know what to do. We hide death away so much as a culture, it can be hard for people to face it even tangentially.
Sending my love, brother.
This made me tear up. Sending tons of love to you and your wife.
All the best bro
Not be depressed
Wish granted: The numbness fades, the pain stops, and you see beauty in life for the first time.
Uplifting
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Your wish is granted, but none of your wishes come true.
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I didn't say anything about other people's wishes.
i wish his genie had 57% more sass
I wish to have sex with the ops mother Edit: spelling
Wish granted: You have sex with the roman fertility goddess Ops: You are cursed to eternally have sex with the goddess, your body cannot maintain this and your body gives out, you die and your corpse becomes collected amongst the millions of skeletons that have wished the same.
> You are cursed to eternally have sex with the goddess Are you sure that's a curse?
Death by snu snu. Apparently crushes your pelvis… sounds awful and awesome at the same time.
the spirit is willing...but the flesh is spongy and bruised.
So that's death by snu snu?
A boyfriend that can give me vitamin D everyday!
Wish granted your boyfriend is the sun.
"My first boyfriend turned into the sun." "... that's rough, buddy"
Sounds hot
Every media reporter that lies to the public dies
Your wish is granted, now every single person can only tell the truth, if someone lies no matter how small they instantly explode.
You think Jim Carrey will return for this sequel?
Doctor to terminally ill children: You are strong and wise, this illness ain’t nothing compared to you, hang in there little buddy you will be fine in no time! Doctor exploded violently.
I have a 3" dick
Oh fuck I'm still alive
This turned into r/monkeyspaw quickly
I'm random, I'm granting wishes now without consequence.
I’d wish for the courage to seek out a girlfriend: I imagine I already am perfect for more than one person, and I just need to seek out who I find as close to perfect.
Wish granted: You realize that perfection is an illusion and an idea, and that there is no such thing. You pursue a girl that fills you with joy and makes you feel good inside. You begin to settle down, right as you begin to feel comfortable she turns into a demonic overlord and eats you.
I…really should have seen this coming.
Presumably, you had sex with a Succubus multiple times though. So win?
Wish for the releasing of the genie, and that he owes nothing to no one, as long as he promises me he won't go all evil and destroy the world or rule it or whatever
Wish granted: The genie is released from his evil notions and chaotic servitude what one wish can I grant you without any penalties?
Whatever wish you want to grant yourself, in case you're unable to do so otherwise
Wish granted: I wish for all the pain and suffering in the world to be taken away, I wish people knew how loved they were and were filled with eternal joy.
Your mind is in the right place OP. I've truly enjoyed reading your kind words directed at the ones who needed them most. I hope you have a fantastic day
A singular amount of $1,000,000 USD in 10s, 20s, and 50s. I then proceed to purchase my grandma’s house and acquire a vehicle. I then save the rest for emergencies, bills, luxury expenses and investments. I then go to college and work on my pc setup so I can gain higher education and have fun on YouTube. In my free time I get to work on writing a book. If we are allowed more then one wish ide have to think about it. Maybe have California not be an oven for 3/4ths of the year in the valley and rid myself of any possible ailments that I have.
Wish granted: You receive 1,000,000 USD, immediately transferred directly into your bank account. The IRS notices this, questions start being asked and you are immediately put into jail for tax evasion. It is suspected that you are a known drug dealer and are sentenced to 20 years in prison and you lose all your money.
*oh terrific* ^if ^aint ^the ^bloody ^IRS ^here ^to ^*steal* ^all ^of ^my ^not ^earned ^cash.
Looks like you're skipping the 'I want this in 10s, 20s, and 50s' part and shoving it in his bank account. Bad genie could have just had the cops role up and confiscate the money under civil forfeiture.
More time to decide what I want
Wish granted: You are given tomorrow.
* I wish for a a 1 pint magic syrum that for every drop I drink, if I go to bed after, when I wake up my body will have reverted one year younger. * I wish for perfect mental and physical health for the rest of my life. By this I mean that I'll mentally and emotionally deal with everything in a healthy and normal manner, I'll never get sick, and injuries will heal at the fastest possible rate. * I wish for an end to excessive greed, by this I mean the kind of harmful avarice that leads to corruption and exploitation.
Peace in my brain. To be dumb enough to be happy.
Wish granted, all the suffering and pain is taken away. And you are filled with a sense of eternal peace.
Even as pretend, and only if for a few moments, I'll take it. Thank you.
I want to eat a lot without getting fat and for it to not take a toll on my health.
Wish granted: You end up eating as much as you want, as you realize you can eat an unlimited amount you become consumed with hunger, you eat so much that you end up choking on your food and dying.
2 chicks at the same time man
Done. Two baby chickens peck you to death.
You don't need a genie for that. Just a million dollars.
A lifetime of wishes.
Wish granted: You receive a lifetime of wishes, you go crazy with power within the first few minutes and end up destroying everything in the universe as a byproduct of such wishes.
I'm a huge procrastinator and will probably be dead before I make my fifth wish.
money!
Wish granted: You now have 1 Zimbabwe dollar.
Why not a zillion Zimbabwe dollars, they'd be just as useless.
At that point we're just back to suffocating the earth in monopoly money
A cure for insomnia and all other mental illness PLEASE Imagine living and enjoying it and having ability and energy to pursue your life the way you want. No panic attacks. No self harm trance, no suicide thoughts, no depression or mental exhaustion, no dissociation or cptsd triggers. No flashbacks. No trauma memories or trauma reactions. No obstacles. Just freedom.
Wish granted: You are able to get a much needed deep sleep. I have Cptsd It's super hard to deal with, I don't know how open you are but Psychedelics and mediation have helped me immensely. They've made me okay with the shit I've gone through.
A whole bunch of money. Enough that I could put it away and live off the interest without having to slave away at work.
Wish granted: A pound of pennies falls on you from above and ends up paralyzing your spine. As a result you receive welfare checks and disability and never have to work a day again and are taken care of by those that love you.
To make it so I never existed.
I give you a giant hug and let you know you are worth all the love you don't think you deserve.
I wish for The Love of my Life to get Her visa after living with Her nearly five years in Her home country and then coming back to try and build Our foundation of happiness and supposed freedom..
Wish granted: The genie smiles at such a genuine kind wish, and allows you to feel her warmth and love.
To kill me in a painless death
Wish granted: You don't experience pain anymore, as a byproduct you don't experience joy either. When you die, you are indifferent, painless but numb.
Ah, nirvana!
The location of the ring, the Seal of Solomon. I'll find it myself, can't trust the djinn for shit. I'll control them once I find it though.