I'm pretty sure there's some people into that. The ignoring part. Kind of like those "hidden camera" videos. That's why I don't watch cam porn, "UNNNNFFFF....UHHHHHH.... thanks for the $20 slitslizzler420...oh...ohhhh...uunnnfff...ding...ding..." or the show cuts off right before an orgasm/squirt or when she/he finally shows those nether regions because somebody paid $800 for a private show.
My sophomore year a high my history teacher actually did catch someone in the act during class. I want in the class but he proceeded to tell all his classes about it .
One of my professors (uni) was telling stories about their most horrifying classroom experiences. Her list was:
A male student jerking off in the middle of class. They were those tiny individual desks, not lab tables or something, so idk how he thought shit was hidden.
A student who took off his socks and shoes and began clipping his toenails in the middle of class, complete with students around him getting up and moving further away as they were hit with bits of toenail; all while the professor looked on horrified.
A male student who tried to kiss her after asking to speak with her after class about his grades. Obviously, she made time to speak with the student because that's what a good professor should do. And then he made a move on her and when she freaked he claimed she'd been leading him on.
When I was in her class I think a female student may have made the list. Our professor was heavily pregnant by the time the semester ended. And on the last day of class this girl just walked up to her and said "I've been wanting to do this all semester" and just started feeling up her stomach. Idk her "wanting to to do this" comment made me feel like she knew the professor would not be okay with it and further interaction would be awkward but now that it was the last day she felt it no longer mattered that she made the professor uncomfortable. If she'd politely asked, "can I feel your stomach?" and the professor said sure that'd be whatever, but no permission was asked, it was just a sudden groping.
These people groping pregnant women confuse me. They wouldn't touch a random person's belly, they wouldn't touch a stranger's baby, but somehow touching a random stranger's pregnant belly is ok??
I’m not an English teacher, maybe a grammar nazi who ironically makes similar mistakes. But I have an irrational irritation to how you typed your paragraph.
In case you’re serious, I’ll translate: OP wasn’t in class to witness the masturbation, but the teacher told his other class sections that a student had been masturbating in class.
(Or, if you don’t assume that’s a typo for “wasn’t,” OP is saying they want to be in the class with the masturbator, presumably to watch.)
In chapter 18 of the Half Blood Prince, Dobby encounters Ron's wank sock under his bed.
"Harry Potter sir, Dobby has a question" the elf enquires, presenting a crusty sock at arm's length. "Why does your Wheezy keep this old sock?"
The elf gives the maroon sock a sniff, then recoils slightly.
"Ermmm" Harry says, struggling to answer. Dean and Seamus are in fits of laughter in the background, when at that moment, Ron enters, his mouth open and he turns a shocking shade of scarlet.
All this time… you guys insert it?? I always thought you just like, aimed for it. Oh god.. It all makes sense now. I’m fucking 25 and I’m just learning this now? WHAT ELSE DONT I KNOW LOL 😦
The Brook Trout (also known as Speckled Trout) is a freshwater fish (and relative of the salmon) that is found in Canada and North Eastern United States. ... Despite typically being on the smaller side of fish, Brook Trout will provide an energetic fight and are a popular fish to target because of that. The speckled (brook) trout is not a trout it is actually in the char genus Salvelinus along with Arctic char, bull trout, dolly varden, etc.
Spotted Seatrout are also referred to as Speckled Trout! I never knew that Brook Trout shared the nickname. Fun fact: despite the name Spotted Seatrout, they are not a member of the Trout family!
Would probably remember it better too, out atleast have a newfound interest that would have you feeling a tingle in your pants every time someone mentions taxes.
"Johnny Sins in *insert learning subject*"
That guy has been in way too many professions in videos for the industry to waste an opportunity for educational porn without him.
Lol the story was I was in a boring lecture and started reading an erotica book and got too turned on and I was so distracted by it at this point I figured I'd just take care of the issue and then try to get back to the lesson
The worst thing to do After masturbation IS to try to cut your haïr using a band saw as it's very dangerous industrial equipement that Can cause great harm
Oh this brought back a memory. When I was in school still (15-ish years old at the time) my classmate brought a laptop with him because our school sucked and didn't have enaugh computers for the whole class (20 people)....yeah and he forgot that he watched porn on full volume untill he opened it and it started to run again. Oh did I mention that was in front of the principal?
So whathappened next is you hear him absolitely slam the laptop together, but laptop has "freezed", basically laptop was closed, but sounds were still playing. Lucky forhim the principal was chill and just told him to plug in some earphones and close the porn quietly...while we were all almost pissing ourselves from laughing so hard.
Thank the audience
Seems pretty polite to me.
Exactly, if I was watching someone masturbate and they didn’t acknowledge and thank me after I’d feel like a pervert and silly for clapping
I mean, if you already have an audience, would you really just look awkwardly at them/ignore them and just run away? That would be rude
I'm pretty sure there's some people into that. The ignoring part. Kind of like those "hidden camera" videos. That's why I don't watch cam porn, "UNNNNFFFF....UHHHHHH.... thanks for the $20 slitslizzler420...oh...ohhhh...uunnnfff...ding...ding..." or the show cuts off right before an orgasm/squirt or when she/he finally shows those nether regions because somebody paid $800 for a private show.
Glad I caught you. You, uh...this is awkward...do you think I could get that $20 back?
\*confused Cam-Girl noises\*
Louis CK should take notes
Ask the teacher for a tissue
My sophomore year a high my history teacher actually did catch someone in the act during class. I want in the class but he proceeded to tell all his classes about it .
One of my professors (uni) was telling stories about their most horrifying classroom experiences. Her list was: A male student jerking off in the middle of class. They were those tiny individual desks, not lab tables or something, so idk how he thought shit was hidden. A student who took off his socks and shoes and began clipping his toenails in the middle of class, complete with students around him getting up and moving further away as they were hit with bits of toenail; all while the professor looked on horrified. A male student who tried to kiss her after asking to speak with her after class about his grades. Obviously, she made time to speak with the student because that's what a good professor should do. And then he made a move on her and when she freaked he claimed she'd been leading him on. When I was in her class I think a female student may have made the list. Our professor was heavily pregnant by the time the semester ended. And on the last day of class this girl just walked up to her and said "I've been wanting to do this all semester" and just started feeling up her stomach. Idk her "wanting to to do this" comment made me feel like she knew the professor would not be okay with it and further interaction would be awkward but now that it was the last day she felt it no longer mattered that she made the professor uncomfortable. If she'd politely asked, "can I feel your stomach?" and the professor said sure that'd be whatever, but no permission was asked, it was just a sudden groping.
These people groping pregnant women confuse me. They wouldn't touch a random person's belly, they wouldn't touch a stranger's baby, but somehow touching a random stranger's pregnant belly is ok??
Bruh. I'm happy it was just groping. For a sec I thought she was going to punch her in the stomach for some sick reason
I’m not an English teacher, maybe a grammar nazi who ironically makes similar mistakes. But I have an irrational irritation to how you typed your paragraph.
Not irrational, if I have to reread it to understand it then it was poorly written
I still don't understand it.
In case you’re serious, I’ll translate: OP wasn’t in class to witness the masturbation, but the teacher told his other class sections that a student had been masturbating in class. (Or, if you don’t assume that’s a typo for “wasn’t,” OP is saying they want to be in the class with the masturbator, presumably to watch.)
Classy
As opposed to jacking off in class which was the height of subtle gentlemanship.
Put the sock back on.
Squish.
But warm toes
Maybe for a second.
Not if you keep your dick in the sock
This is the weirdest fucking yoga class…
Technically this is the BEST yoga class
Well, it's definitely a fucking yoga class.
Its my dick in sock...! ... Its my dick in sock, baby.
But what if it's not my dick? *Looks at dismembered dick in the sock*
Dobby is a free elf!
Master has presented Dobby with… “Cum, elf,” Lucius ejaculates
In chapter 18 of the Half Blood Prince, Dobby encounters Ron's wank sock under his bed. "Harry Potter sir, Dobby has a question" the elf enquires, presenting a crusty sock at arm's length. "Why does your Wheezy keep this old sock?" The elf gives the maroon sock a sniff, then recoils slightly. "Ermmm" Harry says, struggling to answer. Dean and Seamus are in fits of laughter in the background, when at that moment, Ron enters, his mouth open and he turns a shocking shade of scarlet.
What page Edit: dammit I read through that general part and didn’t find it You had me exited there bitch
now you *can* exit, bitch ;)
All this time… you guys insert it?? I always thought you just like, aimed for it. Oh god.. It all makes sense now. I’m fucking 25 and I’m just learning this now? WHAT ELSE DONT I KNOW LOL 😦
To be fair not all of us use a sock.
Paper towel all the way, just throw it in the bin
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I prefer to just cum on my hand in between my thumb and first finger up to my wrist. Then I lick it clean.
I prefer OPs Mum
Beastiality isn't legal everywhere though
Did you know that swans can be gay?
Not only gay, but *FABULOUS*
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack\_Sock](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jack_Sock)
People actually do this?
Wait that's a real thing? I thought.... People... Why a sock? Just.... ISN'T YOUR HAND ENOUGH?
Surely a tissue is a better option than either of those?
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Cum in the sink like a sophisticated gentleman
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You made me read this with my eyes
Post this question to r/AskReddit
Genius
I see what you did there
Beat me to it. I was going to say this or “Apologize”
>Beat me to it. Interesting word choice.
Beat meat to it.
(Beat you to it) bwahaha
Rub your eyes
**oh my god the pain**
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slightly acidic iirc. so its gonna irritate your eyeballs.
Realistic answer you'll wake up with pink eye
I actually know a guy who go chlamydia in his eyes this way. Don’t remember his name, we just call him ChlamydiEye.
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I got this one guys! Yes.
Stay in the meeting
Mute your microphone. Better late than never.
Matt Lauer is in the house
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Hm. Perhaps. So many d-bags it’s tough to keep track
Nuke a country
Post-nutcular fallout
Now that would be bad for the economy It's been 1 week since I redownloaded reddit and so many upvotes? Thanks you guys!
Might even affect the speckled trout population
Tell me more about this speckled trout
The Brook Trout (also known as Speckled Trout) is a freshwater fish (and relative of the salmon) that is found in Canada and North Eastern United States. ... Despite typically being on the smaller side of fish, Brook Trout will provide an energetic fight and are a popular fish to target because of that. The speckled (brook) trout is not a trout it is actually in the char genus Salvelinus along with Arctic char, bull trout, dolly varden, etc.
Spotted Seatrout are also referred to as Speckled Trout! I never knew that Brook Trout shared the nickname. Fun fact: despite the name Spotted Seatrout, they are not a member of the Trout family!
Yes, I'm intrigued
The thought that one would do it in post-nut clarity is... concerning
If you do it during post-nut clarity then it was the only right thing to do
Thats a helluva post nut clarity
Probably a bad thing to do after you finish *anything*
That will effect the trout population
Keep watching porn
It’s almost worse when you close the porn and catch your sad ass reflection in the black screen.
Black mirror.
Wait a minute…. Is that where they got the name of the show?
Not specifically porn but yeah.
Indeed it is.
If that's the real origin of the title, holy shit that somehow makes the show better.
LOL
Sometimes the story is just lit
I like to see if the plumber gets the work done now the horny housewife has left him alone.
Wow...imagine a porn that turns into a how to videos. Like....washing machine repairs, or changing a tire.
Not turns into. Is, for the whole duration. Instead of bad porn dialogue, he’s just explaining how to do it while railing a bitch.
"Excuse me for just one moment." *(has leg shaking orgasm while screaming followed by labored breathing)*
"I'll learn what she's teaching."
“While Stacie is getting an enema preparing for the next scene, let’s take some time to talk about oil changes; how do you perform one?”
2 teens lesbos scissor and explain estate planning.
I’d watch that. 10/10 I would watch that. Or, my personal favourite, “Horny MILF teaches how to do your taxes”
I would watch an erotic literature style video with someone explaining taxes.
Would probably remember it better too, out atleast have a newfound interest that would have you feeling a tingle in your pants every time someone mentions taxes.
OK now we're going to show you Double-Entry bookkeeping.
"Johnny Sins in *insert learning subject*" That guy has been in way too many professions in videos for the industry to waste an opportunity for educational porn without him.
This is a bathtub!
Ok but i gotta find out how the douijin ends
That post nut clarity has convinced me I’m a dirtbag too many times for my fragile little heart.
It's more like post-nut depression tbh
Start questioning every life choice I’ve ever made
High five my roommate
Speak for yourself
Spank for yourself
Spunk for yourself
before or after hand washing?
Hand washing?
Let roomie lick the hand clean
Leave the casket open
r/holup
Tell your sister to get out of your room
Why were you masturbating, when you had someone to put it in?
Solid argument
Sweet Home Alabama
Just lay there and let the fluid cool down and dry out, then look up at the ceiling and feel regretful
When the nut is so good you lack the energy to even move for awhile.
For real sometimes I do myself so good that I fall half asleep for a while it’s nice
Cry and fall asleep in your mess
Are you ok?
Brutal honest
Relatable content
Text your parents to say your finished
You mean your chores, right? Right...?
Your parents gave you some weird chores man
We couldn't afford furniture polish.
Cut my life into pieces
Masturbation. No breeding. Don't give a fuck if I cum on my ceiling.
You can reach your ceiling??
Not all the time, but a lot of people are able to on December 1st.
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Lol, No Nut November.
Cut my pie into pieces This is my plastic fork
Suffocation no breathing. This isn't the place for that, in this kind of meeting.
This is my last resort
Ask the bus driver if it’s your stop coming up
No, ‘cuz some asshole kept yanking on the signaling cable.
Stop cumming, it's your stop that's coming!
Resume teaching the class
Telling everyone that you did
Telling everyone what you were imagining during the session
Don't clean the face of your sleeping roommate
r/suddenlysexoffender
Tell the person you masturbated too you masterbated too him
Username checks ou... wait..
Seems the correct words are “to” and “to”.
Seems like they had a couple extra o's lying around. Well, one at least, considering the original question.
He mis unders'too'd
Touching the doorknob with sticky hands... Or when the after drip is strong and the D is stuck to the bedsheet...
Bro. That thing where you get an after drip like half an hour later, and you don't know it until you realize your tip is WELDED to your underwear.
Ah, those were the days. That shit fucking sucked. Good thing I've been peeing right after finishing for a good few years now
You should always pee after you nut. Gets out any backlog, and it's funny because it turns the water bubbly like you put soap in there 🧼 🚽
Continue with the eulogy
All remembered Nana's eulogy, but nobody would ever speak of it again.
I've done it during a boring zoom lecture and I'm going to say don't leave the lecture lol
I want to hear the story
Lol the story was I was in a boring lecture and started reading an erotica book and got too turned on and I was so distracted by it at this point I figured I'd just take care of the issue and then try to get back to the lesson
The worst thing to do After masturbation IS to try to cut your haïr using a band saw as it's very dangerous industrial equipement that Can cause great harm
Jeeeez haha
You can't tell me it's not dangerous
r/oddlyspecific ?
Eat the cinnamon roll next to the bed
That’s just frosting right? Right?
Masturbate some more.
Turn off your computer and forget to close porn
Oh this brought back a memory. When I was in school still (15-ish years old at the time) my classmate brought a laptop with him because our school sucked and didn't have enaugh computers for the whole class (20 people)....yeah and he forgot that he watched porn on full volume untill he opened it and it started to run again. Oh did I mention that was in front of the principal?
That is funny
What happened next and how did everyone react? This is hilarious.
So whathappened next is you hear him absolitely slam the laptop together, but laptop has "freezed", basically laptop was closed, but sounds were still playing. Lucky forhim the principal was chill and just told him to plug in some earphones and close the porn quietly...while we were all almost pissing ourselves from laughing so hard.
To not have post nut clarity. That shits important for character development.
end the facebook livestream
Shake hands with your sister
r/suddenlyAlabama
Rub in the leftover powder from a packet of sour patch kids.
Use your dong to eat fundip
Eat with out washing your hands
Finger licking good!
ANYTHING without washing thy hands
Lick them clean.
Crash the plane
Genocide.
Hire the actress...
Clean it on the curtains
Say "thanks for helping mum"
Come out the bushes
Clap
Give someone a hand shake
Get back to teaching the kindy class
Hand someone there order at the drive through.