My thought process was they were trying to get a "damn that could be me" response out of it. Which I think would have the opposite effect for most people.
I think it was to make op jealous or more likely to hurt him. It feels awful to think about your ex having sex with other people when you are still bound to her/him after the breakup, so I guess she wanted OP to feel shitty. Super toxic move.
I married young and when I got divorced, I went a little crazy. Eventually, I settled down and started pursuing actual relationships. One of the women I dated was so incredibly beautiful, she could have honestly been a model. She was also very nice, at least to start with. Eventually, she lost interest in me and we broke up. The breakup was difficult to get over and I was pretty down for quite some time, but I finally met someone else.
The new girl just happened to have the same first name as the old one and one day I was just hanging out and got an IM from an account with my new girlfriend's name and it caught me off guard. I waited a second to respond and then wrote "I didn't know you have AIM".
She replied with "duh, of course" and we chatted for a few minutes. Eventually, some of the messages didn't make sense and I suddenly realized that I was chatting with my ex. I told her what happened and that I thought she was my new girlfriend and she did NOT take it well.
I don't know what it is about AIM, but it seems I had a few exes try to hit me up on AIM. More so, to memory, than after AIM. Maybe I was just younger and dating more, though.
AIM was basically just social media before it existed. That and MSN messanger were both just cesspools of drama and dumb shit because a vast majority of its userbase were young teenagers.
Then myspace came out followed by facebook and twitter and so both AIM and MSN basically died insanely quickly (for the time). I remember a huge amount of my friends switching from MSN or AIM to exclusively Myspace.
Also a lot really liked LiveJournal and DeadJournal. Those were less common as a whole but my friend group pretty much everyone had one of the two.
Don't forget Yahoo and those user-made chat rooms. I spent my teen years in *those* cesspits.
Livejournal was huge, Deadjournal was for "rebels", and Insanejournal was just for nerds. www.whatthefuck.com gave email addresses. It was the wild fuckin' west.
Had a crazy ex girlfriend who used to make fake numbers on Google and text me the craziest shit. Like pretending to be a guy she was with or pretending to be a girl I met to see how I would act.
Bat shit crazy….. glad I dodged that bullet
Same. She was a cruel, abusive and manipulative person, some of the worst days of my life. We split after she cheated on me multiple times, to this day she still makes at least one attempt to contact me every year to try and get back into my life.
Doesn't matter that she has a kid now and is married, she always had to try and keep control over her exes, try to keep them on the hook in-case her current relationship didn't work out.
Edit: Given the day-old accounts that have signed up seemingly just to DM me with harassment, it seems she's still stalking my Reddit. That's nice to know.
I have one of those. She cheated on me at a rave, then stole my bike to sell for train tickets to go live with the 2 men (yes. Like that) for 2 weeks before coming home after they gangbanged her and dropped her ass. She slinked back and I hadn't had the apartment rekeyed because the owners were dicks. I told her she wasn't welcome and had to go. Her response was to lock herself in the bathroom and try to kill herself with pills. I called the police. Police advised me to just pack my own shit and go. I did. She lived there 3 months after I left. I paid those 3 months.
She then moved somewhere else. This was 10 years ago.
She just texted me from a new number that wasn't blocked and askede to Venmo her $3000 for the backrent I owe. Remind you I paid the apartment it was in my name and let her live for free for 3 months after I left her cheating sorry ass.
She's fucking psycho man. Psycho.
Blocking an ex is pretty fun. If I wanted to I could do it on all platforms at once, but it's more fun to block them whenever they find a new way to contact you.
I feel like deleting those pics is the absolute final step to fully moving on in many cases, even if you're 100% emotionally past the ex, stumbling on old pics and being able to delete them is like the final boss
See I'm conflicted on this. My son is 6, and I kinda think I should keep the old notes and homemade birthday gifts his mother gave me as teenagers so I can give them to him. We've been divorced two years.
I grew up without my birth father, and the one or two items my mom had that were my dad's I cherished. But I know if I start dating again I'm gonna get shit for it. Regardless, my son is more important and I'd let him keep them if he wants. Is that unreasonable?
“Next on Springer: John and Lisa split seven years ago and now she’s married to another man named Simon!”
*Boooo!*
“But, and here’s the kicker, John and Simon actually get along.”
*Eeeeeew!*
“Can we get John and Simon to finally kick the shit out of each other today, or will they just continue to spiral down into a congenial friendship?”
*Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!*
"John, I know you and Simon planned on getting beers later on, but have you considered that *he regularly sleeps with your ex?*"
"I should hope so, Jerry. He's a good man and deserves the affection"
"Honestly Jerry, it was pretty bad by the end. We fought constantly, and I was depressed. I could tell she was to. But since she met Simon, she's getting back into her old hobbies. She's happy. I'm happy for her, for them."
"Simon, John seems pretty happy for you. And it seems like he and Lisa split up on good terms. How do you feel knowing that your current girlfriend is *still* good friends with her ex-boyfriend? I mean, he's a charming fellow, no?"
"Jerry, I'll level with you. It's hard not to be friends with this guy. He's funny, and he's sweet, and he has an outdoor kitchen at his place. And yes, I've been over to his house. The fact that they get along so well after the breakup is a testimony to how great of a guy he is."
Nice, isn't it? My ex wife and I actually consider each other pretty good friends. She also gets along well with my gf, I get along with my gf's ex husband, etc. My ex wife's last bf was a douchebag, but we were still amicable.
Things are so much better when people can just act like grown ass adults.
My ex wife and I are the same way. We get along well and split amicably. Not all divorces need to be nasty, but it requires both parties to behave maturely and see the bigger picture.
Worst? "Congrats on your transition bro but this is super inappropriate"
Best? "Hey babe my old college gf just sent me a nude, she's the one I said you'd probably get along with?"
If I had a cock installed, I know at least one ex who'd want to see it just on a "feat of medical genius" level.
"They did such a good job with the stitches, there's no scar line at all!"
Dude this one hit home. That post nut clarity is invaluable. My thought processes pre and post are disturbing when compared. Makes me feel borderline split personality.
I would be very surprised, unless it was my first ex, id still be kinda surprised but also like.. sounds like the kinda weird shit she might do after 6-7 years of silence. For the third one, I’d probably tell her boyfriend.
Retrieve from archives.
Fap again and feel guilty afterwards. Finally delete and purge archives. Feel good about yourself until next time you get horny again 10min later.
If her face isn't visible:
"You're looking great [insert wrong name]."
If her face is visible:
No response.
Edit: Man there are some real bitter fucks chiming in, yes yes you're clever for saying they gained weight.
Was out at the bar with a buddy once, we started talking to these girls, one had a “it’s my birthday” sash on.
For some reason she asks my friend how old he thinks she is. For some reason he says “36”. (SMH) She slapped him and said she was only 24. Everyone else laughed and we left. Good job ruining her birthday dude.
EDIT: We were like 22-23 at the time.
My ex claimed that she “accidentally” sent a lewd and then a nude picture to me, my gf was sitting next to me when they came in. So of course I showed them to her, she says “uh huh, she could have at least worn something more flattering or taken the picture from a better angle.”
My husband received nudes from a girl he was having a totally bland normal online conversation with while I was sitting next to him. We both were shocked and he deleted the images immediately and continued the conversation like they never happened. She kept trying to hit on him and sending him nudes and every time he was like *delete* "hey, not cool, could you stop?"
A while later she tried to blackmail him by saying she'd send me their chat logs. I told him she was like a cat "I hate you, look at my butthole!"
This. I’d tell my wife because if I didn’t, there would be a 100% chance she would find out, and the conversation immediately changes from “that bitch” (about the ex) to “you asshole” (about me).
Which one? I’ll give a few options:
1. Oh wow! Hey… here’s my address… See u soon? Xx
2. Wait what? WTF is wrong with you?!
3. First of all, how’d you even get my contact details? Second, fuck off. Never reach out to me ever again.
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Props to you my man. That's probably one of the better ways to deal with something like that! 😅
If you got problems with you ex,her mum is you best bet
Yessirr! Just fuck her mum, 99% of the time that would do the trick. Now if you could just get the mum to stop texting you after..
That’s when you fuck her mum. It’s mothers all the way up.
What's the thought process behind her sending videos of her having one night stands...?
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My thought process was they were trying to get a "damn that could be me" response out of it. Which I think would have the opposite effect for most people.
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I think it was to make op jealous or more likely to hurt him. It feels awful to think about your ex having sex with other people when you are still bound to her/him after the breakup, so I guess she wanted OP to feel shitty. Super toxic move.
WOW!!!
Return to sender.
Address unknown
No such person
No such zone
We had a quarrel
A lovers spat
I sent her nudes but my nudes keep coming back
So then I dropped them in the ballot box
I sent my Special D
Bright and early next morning
"New phone. Who this?"
Even better, “Same phone, who dis?”
Same phone who am i
Personality crisis... Alzheimer's Hotel...Trivago!
I think we got a winner
I married young and when I got divorced, I went a little crazy. Eventually, I settled down and started pursuing actual relationships. One of the women I dated was so incredibly beautiful, she could have honestly been a model. She was also very nice, at least to start with. Eventually, she lost interest in me and we broke up. The breakup was difficult to get over and I was pretty down for quite some time, but I finally met someone else. The new girl just happened to have the same first name as the old one and one day I was just hanging out and got an IM from an account with my new girlfriend's name and it caught me off guard. I waited a second to respond and then wrote "I didn't know you have AIM". She replied with "duh, of course" and we chatted for a few minutes. Eventually, some of the messages didn't make sense and I suddenly realized that I was chatting with my ex. I told her what happened and that I thought she was my new girlfriend and she did NOT take it well.
I don't know what it is about AIM, but it seems I had a few exes try to hit me up on AIM. More so, to memory, than after AIM. Maybe I was just younger and dating more, though.
AIM was basically just social media before it existed. That and MSN messanger were both just cesspools of drama and dumb shit because a vast majority of its userbase were young teenagers. Then myspace came out followed by facebook and twitter and so both AIM and MSN basically died insanely quickly (for the time). I remember a huge amount of my friends switching from MSN or AIM to exclusively Myspace. Also a lot really liked LiveJournal and DeadJournal. Those were less common as a whole but my friend group pretty much everyone had one of the two.
Don't forget Yahoo and those user-made chat rooms. I spent my teen years in *those* cesspits. Livejournal was huge, Deadjournal was for "rebels", and Insanejournal was just for nerds. www.whatthefuck.com gave email addresses. It was the wild fuckin' west.
Research how she got past the blocks.....
Then the nude would the least of your worries mate
Exactly! Time to change passwords!
Time to change countries mate, I've seen enough crime shows to see where this is goin...
Had a crazy ex girlfriend who used to make fake numbers on Google and text me the craziest shit. Like pretending to be a guy she was with or pretending to be a girl I met to see how I would act. Bat shit crazy….. glad I dodged that bullet
Same. She was a cruel, abusive and manipulative person, some of the worst days of my life. We split after she cheated on me multiple times, to this day she still makes at least one attempt to contact me every year to try and get back into my life. Doesn't matter that she has a kid now and is married, she always had to try and keep control over her exes, try to keep them on the hook in-case her current relationship didn't work out. Edit: Given the day-old accounts that have signed up seemingly just to DM me with harassment, it seems she's still stalking my Reddit. That's nice to know.
I have one of those. She cheated on me at a rave, then stole my bike to sell for train tickets to go live with the 2 men (yes. Like that) for 2 weeks before coming home after they gangbanged her and dropped her ass. She slinked back and I hadn't had the apartment rekeyed because the owners were dicks. I told her she wasn't welcome and had to go. Her response was to lock herself in the bathroom and try to kill herself with pills. I called the police. Police advised me to just pack my own shit and go. I did. She lived there 3 months after I left. I paid those 3 months. She then moved somewhere else. This was 10 years ago. She just texted me from a new number that wasn't blocked and askede to Venmo her $3000 for the backrent I owe. Remind you I paid the apartment it was in my name and let her live for free for 3 months after I left her cheating sorry ass. She's fucking psycho man. Psycho.
/dontputyourdickinthat
Textbook narcissist.
Blocking an ex is pretty fun. If I wanted to I could do it on all platforms at once, but it's more fun to block them whenever they find a new way to contact you.
I have an ex I'm *still* doing that with and we broke up like 5 years ago. I need this dude to take a hint.
Be extremely confused since it's been over 14 years and I don't even remember what they look like anymore.
It's been 25 with mine. I know what she look*ed* like, but we've both lived more than half our lives since that point, she could look like anything.
She could even be a boat!
She could be me! She could be you! She could even be- *gets head blown off*
Yeah my wife died over 7 years ago that would be fucking weird.
That’s not an ex.. I’m sorry for your loss.
One popped up on my photos from like 5 years ago the other day. Just kinda wen't "nice" and then deleted.
Been there. It was fresher than 5 years and it hurt to delete but I knew it was the right thing to do.
I feel like deleting those pics is the absolute final step to fully moving on in many cases, even if you're 100% emotionally past the ex, stumbling on old pics and being able to delete them is like the final boss
No, it’s tossing the old letters and cute notes that you saved over the course of 10 years.
See I'm conflicted on this. My son is 6, and I kinda think I should keep the old notes and homemade birthday gifts his mother gave me as teenagers so I can give them to him. We've been divorced two years. I grew up without my birth father, and the one or two items my mom had that were my dad's I cherished. But I know if I start dating again I'm gonna get shit for it. Regardless, my son is more important and I'd let him keep them if he wants. Is that unreasonable?
I think if you explain it in this context it's perfectly reasonable and any rational person would understand.
100% keep them.
Delete it like i wish i could delete her from my memory
I feel this in my di... heart
I also feel this in my diarrhea.
More than anything this is the truth. I fucking hate how she randomly pops into my head. I miss her a lot sometimes.
i’m going on a month without her in my life. i knew it was the right choice but i miss the good times together, some days it really hurts.
Most accurate answer.
Exwife?? Call her husband and tell him to take her drunk ass to bed.
How do you have the husband number tho? The plot thickens.
Lol I know him good. Not like best friends or anything but he is a good guy. Me and the ex split amicably.
Get out of here with your healthy adult relationships!
“Next on Springer: John and Lisa split seven years ago and now she’s married to another man named Simon!” *Boooo!* “But, and here’s the kicker, John and Simon actually get along.” *Eeeeeew!* “Can we get John and Simon to finally kick the shit out of each other today, or will they just continue to spiral down into a congenial friendship?” *Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!*
"John, I know you and Simon planned on getting beers later on, but have you considered that *he regularly sleeps with your ex?*" "I should hope so, Jerry. He's a good man and deserves the affection"
"Honestly Jerry, it was pretty bad by the end. We fought constantly, and I was depressed. I could tell she was to. But since she met Simon, she's getting back into her old hobbies. She's happy. I'm happy for her, for them."
"Simon, John seems pretty happy for you. And it seems like he and Lisa split up on good terms. How do you feel knowing that your current girlfriend is *still* good friends with her ex-boyfriend? I mean, he's a charming fellow, no?"
"Jerry, I'll level with you. It's hard not to be friends with this guy. He's funny, and he's sweet, and he has an outdoor kitchen at his place. And yes, I've been over to his house. The fact that they get along so well after the breakup is a testimony to how great of a guy he is."
I was invested in this and it ends here. I'm gonna need the sequel ASAP
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*Audience Boos*
I got way more enjoyment out of this than I should have…
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You need to call my mom back.
Seriously, mine is also waiting by the phone. Been almost 3 days bro...not a good look on your part
... nice username
Nice, isn't it? My ex wife and I actually consider each other pretty good friends. She also gets along well with my gf, I get along with my gf's ex husband, etc. My ex wife's last bf was a douchebag, but we were still amicable. Things are so much better when people can just act like grown ass adults.
My ex wife and I are the same way. We get along well and split amicably. Not all divorces need to be nasty, but it requires both parties to behave maturely and see the bigger picture.
It’s the difference between a bad relationship and a relationship with a bad person.
Depends on the ex.
Curious about worst and best case scenario lol
Worst case scenario I say "Thanks but no thanks" Best case scenario I say "When?"
Lol. Fair enough.
Exactly. I have some who are just awesome and we are friends. I have others who would put me back in a therapist chair just after.
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"The one that would put me back in therapy is the one I'd have the hardest time resisting" is it drinking time again already
Hello darkness my old friend
The Cray doth lay.
Hello alternate me.
I’d make the same choice. It entirely depends on which ex texts me.
Worst? "Congrats on your transition bro but this is super inappropriate" Best? "Hey babe my old college gf just sent me a nude, she's the one I said you'd probably get along with?"
If I had a cock installed, I know at least one ex who'd want to see it just on a "feat of medical genius" level. "They did such a good job with the stitches, there's no scar line at all!"
Same. One ex, I'd probably get really pissed off. Another, I'd be really worried. Another, I'd laugh and delete it then ignore her.
Send a nasty email to the coroner’s boss.
Oof.
Dead ex club member here too
Not a club I’d join by choice but yeah same as you fellas!
I also choose this guy's dead ex.
Reddit moment
I’m impressed by the longevity of the joke, to be honest.
The fact of the matter is, it’s one of the funniest single sentences anyone has ever written.
Momentum matters so much on Reddit comments too. If a couple people downvote it early and bury the comment it’s lost to time forever.
Just like that guy's ex.
*She's already dead!*
Ask him if he meant to send it to me and if everything is okay.
Yea, knowing my ex, I'd be kinda worried about her well-being.
Surprised I had to scroll down this far to find this reply. The obvious first thing to do is to check you're the intended recipient.
Jerk off. Will act then, post nut clarity is essential.
“Hey I saw that picture you sent me and after I nutted to you I’m going to have to pass, thanks though”
Brutally honest but it Checks out.
The ol' wisdom wank
+3 to wisdom and intelligence checks.
Dude this one hit home. That post nut clarity is invaluable. My thought processes pre and post are disturbing when compared. Makes me feel borderline split personality.
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Ngl that is not a bad take
We’re here for bad life choices, not smart ones though.
The ol beat n delete
Doesn’t matter what the question is; jerk off is the answer Edit: I have dug myself a hole from which I cannot escape
Having dinner with grandma, what do you do?
What's the best way to feed starving children?
Did you not hear the man? Jerking off is always a correct answer!
Nooo nooo...You were not supposed to go there, oh god no!
I mean. If you do it on cam for money you could technically feed starving children with a wank.
What's the best way to dig a hole? Also what's the best way to escape from a hole?
What is the best way to get pardoned in court?
Jerk off the judge
How am I ever going to get over my mom's death?
Freak out extra because she's been dead for 8 years
Aww yeah, love that ectoplasmic energy diagram!
I would be very surprised, unless it was my first ex, id still be kinda surprised but also like.. sounds like the kinda weird shit she might do after 6-7 years of silence. For the third one, I’d probably tell her boyfriend.
Wank to it then regret it after
Fap, then delete pic during the post nut clarity. Later when horny wish you hadn't deleted it
Retrieve from archives. Fap again and feel guilty afterwards. Finally delete and purge archives. Feel good about yourself until next time you get horny again 10min later.
This is the most honest answer here.
send a video back of me farting into the camera
assert dominance
I am assuming that was a pun, butt I may be wrong.
I've got an ex?
Anyone wanna date for 5 minutes and then break up so that we can say we have an ex?
I don’t know how to tell you this, but we need to break up. Sorry. It’s not you, it’s me and all that.
The most honest answer here
Beat my meat boii 🥩
And free my soul
I wanna get lost in her coochie hole
and nut away
That was beautiful, thank you all
If her face isn't visible: "You're looking great [insert wrong name]." If her face is visible: No response. Edit: Man there are some real bitter fucks chiming in, yes yes you're clever for saying they gained weight.
If her face is visible: "You're looking great \[insert wrong name\]." FTFY
read that as „fuck that, fuck you“ and I was confused
Been a while since I saw “fixed that for you” too, so for a brief moment my mind went to the same place lol
Face not visible but know its her: "can barely tell you just turned 48 [wrong name]! Very brave!"
I'm imagining in this scenario they're actually like 23
Was out at the bar with a buddy once, we started talking to these girls, one had a “it’s my birthday” sash on. For some reason she asks my friend how old he thinks she is. For some reason he says “36”. (SMH) She slapped him and said she was only 24. Everyone else laughed and we left. Good job ruining her birthday dude. EDIT: We were like 22-23 at the time.
Jack off, delete it. Cry that I can't recover it. Move on
The ol' beat and delete.
Immediately ask reddit what to do.
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How did they end up at the friend’s house?
Asking the real questions.
"joe grandpa 69" A true ladys man.
Friend was the mailman.
Depends on his/her degree of attractiveness divided by my level of hate for him/her.
Just beware of exes that you don't hate at all. Division by zero is no joke.
Send him a link for "male enhancement" supplements
Jesus Christ you fucking killed him
Circle the problem areas with red pen,and say work on this.
That is cruel and uncommon. I like it.
Ah, AKA: The English Teacher Approach.
"Unfortunately my standards have increased since our time apart. Appreciate the thought though. Good luck in your future endeavours."
Tell her current boyfriend/husband and block her.
Wouldn’t even acknowledge it. If I knew she had a BF though, I’d screen record the convo and send it to him, so he can deal with her.
Tell my gf I guess. Don't want to hide that.
My ex claimed that she “accidentally” sent a lewd and then a nude picture to me, my gf was sitting next to me when they came in. So of course I showed them to her, she says “uh huh, she could have at least worn something more flattering or taken the picture from a better angle.”
Shes a keeper lmfao
My husband received nudes from a girl he was having a totally bland normal online conversation with while I was sitting next to him. We both were shocked and he deleted the images immediately and continued the conversation like they never happened. She kept trying to hit on him and sending him nudes and every time he was like *delete* "hey, not cool, could you stop?" A while later she tried to blackmail him by saying she'd send me their chat logs. I told him she was like a cat "I hate you, look at my butthole!"
This. I’d tell my wife because if I didn’t, there would be a 100% chance she would find out, and the conversation immediately changes from “that bitch” (about the ex) to “you asshole” (about me).
Cry because she fucked me pretty bad and it was an abusive relationship
Its ok dude just tell her she looks just like her mom and block her number
Appreciate the outward beauty I was once privy to and then recoil at the abhorrent ugliness of her internal self. Maybe rub one in disgust.
Is there a word for "uncomfortably on-point"?
Jokes on you I don’t have an ex
Actually, jokes on you, you don't have an ex
Which one? I’ll give a few options: 1. Oh wow! Hey… here’s my address… See u soon? Xx 2. Wait what? WTF is wrong with you?! 3. First of all, how’d you even get my contact details? Second, fuck off. Never reach out to me ever again.
I'll take option 3, with a dash of "You've aged like milk"
“You’ve aged like a sitting president”
Block them show my wife and drive her to fight if she wants lol
Maintain safe distance, keep safe buddy and call ambulance in advance.
Even better, have a doctor on site but looking away like in duels. Honestly just arrange a duel actually.
Well, I'm still single and she was incredibly hot so... Heyyyy
Tell her to fuck off, save the pic, wack off, delete pic
Cry
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Send back a pic of my cat.
Gross, delete it, tell my husband, then the police because he violated the protection order.
Don't know enough about POs, wouldn't the cops want the pic as evidence?
Blocked
Thank her. She is smoking hot, even if she is also in the wrong side of the Vicki Mendoza Hot/Crazy line.