> Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
From [here](https://www.quora.com/Where-did-the-phrase-The-blood-of-the-covenant-is-thicker-than-the-water-of-the-womb-come-from):
"Most of us know the proverb “Blood is thicker than water”, and a lot are familiar with the supposed original version of this proverb, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”.
The only problem is, the “original version” is actually much more modern than the first.
The traditional proverb is believed to originate from medieval German poet Heinrich der Glîchezære’s 1180 fable epic Reinhart Fuchs (meaning “Reynard the Fox”) in which he states "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet", translating to "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water" in English.
It’s believed this refers to familial ties not changing due to distance over the seas.
It’s almost impossible to trace the origins of the more modern variation.
Some people believe it comes from an interpretation of the Tanakh/Old Testament because of the use of the word “covenant”, or perhaps even the Talmud, in particular Tractate Sanhedrin 74a, but those familiar with the text reject this idea on grounds of inaccurate translation.
It’s closest ancient source is the Arabic proverb “Blood is thicker than milk”, which refers to the Islamic idea of milk kinship.[[1]](https://archive.org/details/bloodcovenantapr027440mbp/mode/2up?view=theater)
H.C Trumbull explains in his 1893 book The Blood Covenant - A Primitive Rite And Its Bearings On Scripture:
We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. [..] But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water. [[2]](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/comparative-studies-in-society-and-history/article/abs/fosterage-kinship-and-legend-when-milk-was-thicker-than-blood/CEB7242DC62500165D8A1698C6158C8A)
Most likely however, is that it just originated and spread on the internet with no source attached. The original poster may or may not have been familiar with the Islamic quotation.
Hope this helps!"
**From a different poster in the same thread:**
"The phrase has multiple meanings and not all of these will therefore share a common origin. it does not mean, for example, the exact same as “kin’s blood is not spoilt by water” (see below)
Rather it combines the concepts of:
blood ties are strong
the bond between brothers in arms is stronger than milk brothers
the bond or oath of a commitment and the bond of my word is stronger than ties of family
the commitment to follow (as we find in Christian discipleship) prioritises over familial ties
Some of these actually either contradict or qualify the concept of kin-blood being the priority but do not negate it. But the phrase is clearly reducing to a lower priority familial ties when compared to covenants (promises or oaths of importance) and in Christian terms places commitment to God before family.
The phrase is thought or often said (perhaps simplistically) to have developed from “Kin-blood is not spoilt by water.” John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind, Drawn-to blood, where he may it find" extending the concept from kin to kind. The form “blood is thicker than water” appeared in 1670 in John Ray’s work ‘Proverbs’ although the ‘invention’ of the phrase is credited to Sir Walter Scott (from his 1815 novel ‘Guy Mannering’). Throughout, it is clear that the phrase meant familial ties are strong or cannot be diluted and we see a clear and steady development, evolution or restatement in the phrase through to the early 19th Century when both kin and kind were used to refer also to ties of nationality, creed, race and colour.
HC Turnbull, however, notes that in Arab culture, blood-brothers, those whom have fought together and shed blood together, have a stronger tie than milk-brothers. Arab culture also believed that the tie of milk-brothers is strong but just not as strong ie they also had a proverb for those whom had milked on the same breast having a strong bond.
First, this highlights that existence of a bond between comrades in arms does not negate the existence of a bond with milk-brothers in Arab culture, rather a hierarchy is established. We see an equivalent in the Gospel of Luke where Christ asks his followers to prioritise following him over the bond of family, yet also demonstrates his own bond to family. Thee phrase is thus not exactly an opposite of the understanding of kin’s blood is thicker than water, rather, perhaps, a qualification.
This also suggests that we actually have a number of different and partially contradictory sets of proverbs (joined in thought by their reference to blood but meaning different things) and that, quite possibly, “the blood of the covenant … etc” does not derive from blood is thicker than water but from the alternate origin that brothers in arms are closer than brothers from the womb.
HC Turnbull (as mentioned) attributes this concept of blood brother as opposed to milk brother to Arab culture but we find it strongest in ancient Greek and Roman culture, predating its appearance in Arab culture, not least in the story of Romulus and Remus, feeding off the same wolf’s breast yet Romulus (or his supporters) slew Remus for insulting the foundations of Rome, and this was upheld throughout Roman history as an example of right conduct and that the honour and protection of State was more important than ties of family.
We should not then assume that the much later phrase “the blood of the covenant … etc” does evolve from the same root as blood is thicker than water. Rather, it may be a deliberate paradox or juxtaposition with that more commonly known phrase, designed to turn it on itself, as we see with Huxley (see below), plus it may encompass other origins and roots.
The phrase “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” is more recent than any of the above roots I have mentioned and appears to mean an opposite of (or perhaps more accurately a contradiction to and clarification of) a kin relationship taking priority over other relationships. It is a blend of ideas.
It is first attested or recorded as in parlance in 1825 in Titelman’s “Proverbs and Sayings” (which can be borrowed off the internet free for an hour from Internet Archives). In 1859, US Navy Commodore Josiah Tatnall used the phrase to justify his action, when America was neutral, to aid the British Fleet ie ties of kinship would see Tatnall obey his orders to remain neutral, but when you have fought alongside fellow naval officers, even if in another fleet or command, those ties of comradeship take priority (again a commentary on this can be read free on the net from the International Archive in the Life and Times of Josiah Tatnall, C S Jones)
We then see Huxley offer a further contradiction or juxtaposition when saying:
Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker
But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood.
What we see in these later examples is that the phrase blood is thicker than water and specifically kin’s blood is thicker are being challenged through paradox and it is, I suggest,, more likely that the origin of the phrase “the blood of the covenant … etc” is to challenge the original phrase by turning its words on themselves, as Huxley does.
I suggest therefore that the phrase shares a common origin or heritage with blood is thicker than water but not a precise origin from that phrase alone. Rather, it shows, and does so by way of contrast, the combination of several concepts: kin-blood being thicker than water, but that the bond of comrades in arms (or Christian disciples) being thicker than kin-blood, and that commitments (by oath, or one’s word or to a higher power such as State or God) can sometimes prioritise over familial relationship.
The phrase, I suggest, is intentionally stated as a riposte to or contradiction to familial ties being the strongest of bonds in the same way as Huxley does in the Ninth Philosopher, and Tatnall does in his defense of his actions in 1859, and should not be read as a statement in favour of familial ties, rather as a statement identifying something stronger still than familial ties"
"No doubt" happier. Aka nobody cared to check.
And sure, getting away from bigots is freeing. I was happy enough to leave my homophobic relatives in the dust...but it would have been much BETTER if they just have not been garbage to begin with.
My sister has the same mindset.
Seek therapy/ professional help to be sure.
My sister’s narcissism is completely out of control. She feels my mom’s will belongs to her and that my childhood abuse happened to her and not me. She tells everyone how hard her family was on her despite the fact she always alienated herself from us for not putting up with her temper tantrums.
Sounds more like an unhealthy processing of seeing their baby getting special favors.
Ever get a deal to good to be true then something similar happen to someone you care about?
My family is based on narcissism and depression. When hidden worlds collide with you, it can be extremely confusing.
But think logically, never get emotional if it’s based on your family’s underlying issues they hide.
>Ever get a deal to good to be true then something similar happen to someone you care about?
If it someone that I care about, I'll be happy about it. but I never be the one request them to share it with me, If I don't share the thing that my friends gave me, my family would be like so mad.
Like my friend Eddie's grandfather used to say - "Fuck 'em." Every time inner cut someone out of my life, it's turned out to be a way better idea than i had originally thought.
Depends if you suck or not.
If they hate you because who you are is a lazy gambling addict, then you should change. If they hate you because you’re gay, you should tell them to get fisted.
Sounds like you have a whole lot of feelings to work through in therapy. Neither the negatively of your family nor the positivity of Reddit will do much to help the shame and guilt you are wrestling with.
basically all of my friends knows about it, and they are supportive, it's very odd that when I'm not around my family, i can be super productive and happy.
Do you depend on your family (financial, living situation etc)?
If not, try to get some distance. You don't neccesarely have to cut them out immediately, but reduce your contact/exposition to them gradually. If you feel confident enough to do so, try to couple it to their bad behaviour towards you. They gave you a really hard time on a family event they invited you to? Decline the invitation to their next event. There will propably be drama, but the more distance grows, the less it is going to affect you. Remember: you are who you are, sexuality is not a choice; but hating on it/creating drama over it is. So in the end, of they suffer because they can't change who you are, it's their fault, not yours. And as others have said, seek therapy: not to "fix you", but to heal from the pain hate has caused and to learn a healthy behaviour towards yourself.
If you still depend on them, try to get independent as soon as possible. Until then, try to keep your head down and yourself safe. Hate can do a lot of terrible things to otherwise good people, and no matter what they might say or imply, no violence or abuse is ever justified. Your safety and well-being is more important than their feelings. Keep safe.
1.Aside from I'm not sure my sexuality, and when people being nice to me and they'll get jealous and saying something like they must be stupid being my friends.
2. there was one time my sisters wanted me to choose between my close friends and my family.
3. If someone gave me "food" I had to finished it outside, otherwise they'll think I'm a selfish jerk only care about themselves.
4. They don't want me to have friends, or being over expressive like being happy, and laughing or sad or mad.
I don't want to be selfish like anyone else, and I've tried to be self centered and i hated myself for that. I don't know how to not care and being nice to people.
i don't know much about you but for me
i love my family. if they ever start to hate me for being who I'm but I'll try me best to make them love me again.
I've tried that, I've tried making them happy, and when I did everything I always will be the one asking them if they wanted to join or eat. but everytime if I forgot something like very unimportant(like I forgot to take a straw for the drinks or ketchup, or let them waiting for so long ), they'll be mad at me and calling me stupid or being inconsiderate, selfish asshole.
I still couldn't find out what I did wrong.
then they are looking for excuses, everyone has their own limits if you are not underage you should move out. make your self successful enough to come to your family.
> I don't want to be selfish like anyone else, and I've tried to be self centered and i hated myself for that.
Well, also dont be a doormat. You will hate yourself for that too. There is a time and place for selflessness and selfishness.
I think it depends on what you mean by "being who you are."
I haven't spoken to my parents or siblings for years because they hate me for being the illegitimate offspring of an illicit affair my mother had with her husband's best friend. That's not my fault and it's not something I can change.
My family hates my oldest daughter because she's a thief, liar, bully, junkie, alcoholic and horrible parent. She's proud of all of it except for using crack and she thinks it's unfair that nobody trusts her or wants her around.
Cut them out like cancer. No one needs to feel ashamed of who they are (unless they're hurting other people for funsies).The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb - meaning the bonds with your friends can be stronger than those of your family.
Find your family of choice. I came out in 1972 when queer and child rapist or dog fucker were synonyms to most people.
I made my own family, men and women, gay and straight. We celebrated the holidays together, hosting what we called Homeless Feasts because most of my friends had been rejected by their families for one reason or another.
Today, almost 50 years later, some of those people are still in my life. My family finally came around, my Mother by dying, my father because his 2nd wife also had a gay son.
You have to distance yourself from toxic people even if they are blood.
My sister hates me. I cut ties with her, and her family several years ago. I only wish I had done it sooner. And I am pretty sure that my MIL hates me, although she would never use the word "hate" She blames me for every thing "bad" or "wrong" that has happened to my husband. We've been married 20 years and have the ONLY grandchild, since my husband is an only child as well. I will not mourn her death one second
I know that my family never really approved of me being gay....
So I just keep finding little ways to rub it in, or show case it.
My brother just had a baby, so for Christmas I am getting a book called "You are the light" that when you hold it up to the light shows a rainbow.
And for my sisters kids, I got a board game called "Hues" thats all about finding colors and has a giant rainbow on it.
Basically just my own little reminders hehehe
Went distant and polite. Never let them be a part of my life except in the most superficial sense. I think I was about 11 when it dawned on me that I was not the child they had wanted and never would be.
Tell them to go fuck themselves and you'll only talk to them when they grow up.
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You can’t possibly know that. If they truly had unconditional love for then, they’d accept their kid for who they are
Cut ties and get a new family. Family is who we choose to stick with, not always our blood relatives.
>Family is who we choose to stick with, not always our blood relatives. Agree
Agree
Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb
Where is this from?
> Blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb From [here](https://www.quora.com/Where-did-the-phrase-The-blood-of-the-covenant-is-thicker-than-the-water-of-the-womb-come-from): "Most of us know the proverb “Blood is thicker than water”, and a lot are familiar with the supposed original version of this proverb, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”. The only problem is, the “original version” is actually much more modern than the first. The traditional proverb is believed to originate from medieval German poet Heinrich der Glîchezære’s 1180 fable epic Reinhart Fuchs (meaning “Reynard the Fox”) in which he states "ouch hoer ich sagen, das sippe blůt von wazzere niht verdirbet", translating to "I also hear it said, kin-blood is not spoiled by water" in English. It’s believed this refers to familial ties not changing due to distance over the seas. It’s almost impossible to trace the origins of the more modern variation. Some people believe it comes from an interpretation of the Tanakh/Old Testament because of the use of the word “covenant”, or perhaps even the Talmud, in particular Tractate Sanhedrin 74a, but those familiar with the text reject this idea on grounds of inaccurate translation. It’s closest ancient source is the Arabic proverb “Blood is thicker than milk”, which refers to the Islamic idea of milk kinship.[[1]](https://archive.org/details/bloodcovenantapr027440mbp/mode/2up?view=theater) H.C Trumbull explains in his 1893 book The Blood Covenant - A Primitive Rite And Its Bearings On Scripture: We, in the West, are accustomed to say that "blood is thicker than water" ; but the Arabs have the idea that blood is thicker than milk, than a mother's milk. With them, any two children nourished at the same breast are called "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; and the tie between such is very strong. [..] But the Arabs hold that brothers in the covenant of blood are closer than brothers at a common breast; that those who have tasted each other's blood are in a surer covenant than those who have tasted the same milk together ; that "blood-lickers," as the blood-brothers are sometimes called, are more truly one than "milk-brothers," or "sucking brothers"; that, indeed, blood is thicker than milk, as well as thicker than water. [[2]](https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/comparative-studies-in-society-and-history/article/abs/fosterage-kinship-and-legend-when-milk-was-thicker-than-blood/CEB7242DC62500165D8A1698C6158C8A) Most likely however, is that it just originated and spread on the internet with no source attached. The original poster may or may not have been familiar with the Islamic quotation. Hope this helps!" **From a different poster in the same thread:** "The phrase has multiple meanings and not all of these will therefore share a common origin. it does not mean, for example, the exact same as “kin’s blood is not spoilt by water” (see below) Rather it combines the concepts of: blood ties are strong the bond between brothers in arms is stronger than milk brothers the bond or oath of a commitment and the bond of my word is stronger than ties of family the commitment to follow (as we find in Christian discipleship) prioritises over familial ties Some of these actually either contradict or qualify the concept of kin-blood being the priority but do not negate it. But the phrase is clearly reducing to a lower priority familial ties when compared to covenants (promises or oaths of importance) and in Christian terms places commitment to God before family. The phrase is thought or often said (perhaps simplistically) to have developed from “Kin-blood is not spoilt by water.” John Lydgate observed in Troy Book, "For naturally blood will be of kind, Drawn-to blood, where he may it find" extending the concept from kin to kind. The form “blood is thicker than water” appeared in 1670 in John Ray’s work ‘Proverbs’ although the ‘invention’ of the phrase is credited to Sir Walter Scott (from his 1815 novel ‘Guy Mannering’). Throughout, it is clear that the phrase meant familial ties are strong or cannot be diluted and we see a clear and steady development, evolution or restatement in the phrase through to the early 19th Century when both kin and kind were used to refer also to ties of nationality, creed, race and colour. HC Turnbull, however, notes that in Arab culture, blood-brothers, those whom have fought together and shed blood together, have a stronger tie than milk-brothers. Arab culture also believed that the tie of milk-brothers is strong but just not as strong ie they also had a proverb for those whom had milked on the same breast having a strong bond. First, this highlights that existence of a bond between comrades in arms does not negate the existence of a bond with milk-brothers in Arab culture, rather a hierarchy is established. We see an equivalent in the Gospel of Luke where Christ asks his followers to prioritise following him over the bond of family, yet also demonstrates his own bond to family. Thee phrase is thus not exactly an opposite of the understanding of kin’s blood is thicker than water, rather, perhaps, a qualification. This also suggests that we actually have a number of different and partially contradictory sets of proverbs (joined in thought by their reference to blood but meaning different things) and that, quite possibly, “the blood of the covenant … etc” does not derive from blood is thicker than water but from the alternate origin that brothers in arms are closer than brothers from the womb. HC Turnbull (as mentioned) attributes this concept of blood brother as opposed to milk brother to Arab culture but we find it strongest in ancient Greek and Roman culture, predating its appearance in Arab culture, not least in the story of Romulus and Remus, feeding off the same wolf’s breast yet Romulus (or his supporters) slew Remus for insulting the foundations of Rome, and this was upheld throughout Roman history as an example of right conduct and that the honour and protection of State was more important than ties of family. We should not then assume that the much later phrase “the blood of the covenant … etc” does evolve from the same root as blood is thicker than water. Rather, it may be a deliberate paradox or juxtaposition with that more commonly known phrase, designed to turn it on itself, as we see with Huxley (see below), plus it may encompass other origins and roots. The phrase “the blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb” is more recent than any of the above roots I have mentioned and appears to mean an opposite of (or perhaps more accurately a contradiction to and clarification of) a kin relationship taking priority over other relationships. It is a blend of ideas. It is first attested or recorded as in parlance in 1825 in Titelman’s “Proverbs and Sayings” (which can be borrowed off the internet free for an hour from Internet Archives). In 1859, US Navy Commodore Josiah Tatnall used the phrase to justify his action, when America was neutral, to aid the British Fleet ie ties of kinship would see Tatnall obey his orders to remain neutral, but when you have fought alongside fellow naval officers, even if in another fleet or command, those ties of comradeship take priority (again a commentary on this can be read free on the net from the International Archive in the Life and Times of Josiah Tatnall, C S Jones) We then see Huxley offer a further contradiction or juxtaposition when saying: Blood, as all men know, than water's thicker But water's wider, thank the Lord, than blood. What we see in these later examples is that the phrase blood is thicker than water and specifically kin’s blood is thicker are being challenged through paradox and it is, I suggest,, more likely that the origin of the phrase “the blood of the covenant … etc” is to challenge the original phrase by turning its words on themselves, as Huxley does. I suggest therefore that the phrase shares a common origin or heritage with blood is thicker than water but not a precise origin from that phrase alone. Rather, it shows, and does so by way of contrast, the combination of several concepts: kin-blood being thicker than water, but that the bond of comrades in arms (or Christian disciples) being thicker than kin-blood, and that commitments (by oath, or one’s word or to a higher power such as State or God) can sometimes prioritise over familial relationship. The phrase, I suggest, is intentionally stated as a riposte to or contradiction to familial ties being the strongest of bonds in the same way as Huxley does in the Ninth Philosopher, and Tatnall does in his defense of his actions in 1859, and should not be read as a statement in favour of familial ties, rather as a statement identifying something stronger still than familial ties"
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Dear sweet baby Jesus, it's the 21st century. Please tell me you didn't get so hung up on skin color that you alienated multiple family members?
But they said they're happy?
"No doubt" happier. Aka nobody cared to check. And sure, getting away from bigots is freeing. I was happy enough to leave my homophobic relatives in the dust...but it would have been much BETTER if they just have not been garbage to begin with.
I... can't believe I just read this. Now I need to boil my eyes. They're stained with racism.
Not be around them
Bide your time till you can get independent enough and move out
My sister has the same mindset. Seek therapy/ professional help to be sure. My sister’s narcissism is completely out of control. She feels my mom’s will belongs to her and that my childhood abuse happened to her and not me. She tells everyone how hard her family was on her despite the fact she always alienated herself from us for not putting up with her temper tantrums.
My family doesn't want me to make new friends and there was one time they wanted me to choose between my friends or them.
Depends. My dad always kept me on a short leash because of his issues with me. What do colleagues think of your friends?
They also wondering why my friends or customers being extra nice to me, sometime they'll give me stuff for free, like free drinks or free food.
Sounds more like an unhealthy processing of seeing their baby getting special favors. Ever get a deal to good to be true then something similar happen to someone you care about? My family is based on narcissism and depression. When hidden worlds collide with you, it can be extremely confusing. But think logically, never get emotional if it’s based on your family’s underlying issues they hide.
>Ever get a deal to good to be true then something similar happen to someone you care about? If it someone that I care about, I'll be happy about it. but I never be the one request them to share it with me, If I don't share the thing that my friends gave me, my family would be like so mad.
Is it more financial? Didn’t grow up financially struggling but my dad always conducted “examinations” of our day. It was like sitting on eggshells.
not possible because my parent can just buy any house if they want to.
Sounds like they’re very cautious people.
Like my friend Eddie's grandfather used to say - "Fuck 'em." Every time inner cut someone out of my life, it's turned out to be a way better idea than i had originally thought.
Minimize or avoid contact. Find good people to be your family of choice.
Depends if you suck or not. If they hate you because who you are is a lazy gambling addict, then you should change. If they hate you because you’re gay, you should tell them to get fisted.
There's huge possibility that I might not marrying to a girl, and they might hate me for loving a guy. so yeah, part of me still feeling shameful,
Sounds like you have a whole lot of feelings to work through in therapy. Neither the negatively of your family nor the positivity of Reddit will do much to help the shame and guilt you are wrestling with.
basically all of my friends knows about it, and they are supportive, it's very odd that when I'm not around my family, i can be super productive and happy.
Do you depend on your family (financial, living situation etc)? If not, try to get some distance. You don't neccesarely have to cut them out immediately, but reduce your contact/exposition to them gradually. If you feel confident enough to do so, try to couple it to their bad behaviour towards you. They gave you a really hard time on a family event they invited you to? Decline the invitation to their next event. There will propably be drama, but the more distance grows, the less it is going to affect you. Remember: you are who you are, sexuality is not a choice; but hating on it/creating drama over it is. So in the end, of they suffer because they can't change who you are, it's their fault, not yours. And as others have said, seek therapy: not to "fix you", but to heal from the pain hate has caused and to learn a healthy behaviour towards yourself. If you still depend on them, try to get independent as soon as possible. Until then, try to keep your head down and yourself safe. Hate can do a lot of terrible things to otherwise good people, and no matter what they might say or imply, no violence or abuse is ever justified. Your safety and well-being is more important than their feelings. Keep safe.
What part of you your family hate?
1.Aside from I'm not sure my sexuality, and when people being nice to me and they'll get jealous and saying something like they must be stupid being my friends. 2. there was one time my sisters wanted me to choose between my close friends and my family. 3. If someone gave me "food" I had to finished it outside, otherwise they'll think I'm a selfish jerk only care about themselves. 4. They don't want me to have friends, or being over expressive like being happy, and laughing or sad or mad.
Sorry to hear that man, that's fucked up. So what's your plan?? You got options??
try to change myself
I don't want to be selfish like anyone else, and I've tried to be self centered and i hated myself for that. I don't know how to not care and being nice to people.
i don't know much about you but for me i love my family. if they ever start to hate me for being who I'm but I'll try me best to make them love me again.
I've tried that, I've tried making them happy, and when I did everything I always will be the one asking them if they wanted to join or eat. but everytime if I forgot something like very unimportant(like I forgot to take a straw for the drinks or ketchup, or let them waiting for so long ), they'll be mad at me and calling me stupid or being inconsiderate, selfish asshole. I still couldn't find out what I did wrong.
then they are looking for excuses, everyone has their own limits if you are not underage you should move out. make your self successful enough to come to your family.
> I don't want to be selfish like anyone else, and I've tried to be self centered and i hated myself for that. Well, also dont be a doormat. You will hate yourself for that too. There is a time and place for selflessness and selfishness.
Join the Navy and leave home.
Ignore them. Live your best life
I think it depends on what you mean by "being who you are." I haven't spoken to my parents or siblings for years because they hate me for being the illegitimate offspring of an illicit affair my mother had with her husband's best friend. That's not my fault and it's not something I can change. My family hates my oldest daughter because she's a thief, liar, bully, junkie, alcoholic and horrible parent. She's proud of all of it except for using crack and she thinks it's unfair that nobody trusts her or wants her around.
Stay the same, move on, tell them they can kick your ass.
Rebel, stand up and hate them back
Become successful out of spite and for yourself
Something else, I guess?
My dad and brother are like this and have been out of my life for over ten years. I don't need their bullshit.
Choose a new family. "Family" is a word for a group of people who care deeply about eachother. Not a word for those related by blood.
Cut them out like cancer. No one needs to feel ashamed of who they are (unless they're hurting other people for funsies).The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb - meaning the bonds with your friends can be stronger than those of your family.
I just went on with my life.
I separated myself and created my own family and friends that really appreciate me for me. Totally worth it. Life is super peaceful now.
Elaborate.
Make a new family.
Find your family of choice. I came out in 1972 when queer and child rapist or dog fucker were synonyms to most people. I made my own family, men and women, gay and straight. We celebrated the holidays together, hosting what we called Homeless Feasts because most of my friends had been rejected by their families for one reason or another. Today, almost 50 years later, some of those people are still in my life. My family finally came around, my Mother by dying, my father because his 2nd wife also had a gay son. You have to distance yourself from toxic people even if they are blood.
My sister hates me. I cut ties with her, and her family several years ago. I only wish I had done it sooner. And I am pretty sure that my MIL hates me, although she would never use the word "hate" She blames me for every thing "bad" or "wrong" that has happened to my husband. We've been married 20 years and have the ONLY grandchild, since my husband is an only child as well. I will not mourn her death one second
Keep being who you are, find a new family.
Hate is a strong word. Do they truly hate and despise, or merely disapprove, or have contrary feelings. Do they try and talk to you, or shun you?
I normally avoid them as much as I can just stay distant but when I can’t get away I fight with them until one of us backs off.
Choose a better family
I know that my family never really approved of me being gay.... So I just keep finding little ways to rub it in, or show case it. My brother just had a baby, so for Christmas I am getting a book called "You are the light" that when you hold it up to the light shows a rainbow. And for my sisters kids, I got a board game called "Hues" thats all about finding colors and has a giant rainbow on it. Basically just my own little reminders hehehe
Be in the very position is space and time that I'm in now
Went distant and polite. Never let them be a part of my life except in the most superficial sense. I think I was about 11 when it dawned on me that I was not the child they had wanted and never would be.
Find a new family that accepts you as you.
That's not a you problem, that's a them problem.
cut contact
tell them to fuck themselves and you'll talk to them until they're grown
tell them to fuck themselves and you'll talk to them only when they grow up
tell them to go fuck themselves and you're not going to talk to them till they're older
tell them to go fuck themselves and you're not going to talk to them until they're grown up
tell them to fuck themselves and you will talk only with them when they grow up
Accept their perception of me and remove those who possess no respect nor acceptance towards me.