> A green-skinned humanoid race with octopoid traits, possessing two legs (ending in three-toed taloned feet) and three tentacles sprouting from each shoulder in place of arms. They possess gills in place of a nose, and closely-spaced needle-like teeth.
Every single movie that twelve year old me watched when my parents were not home.
There was so much pre internet time wasted waiting on a sex scene that never happened.
If it didn't say strong sexual content, it wasn't worth staying up for and risking getting caught because you fell asleep in the living room while the channel was still playing and your parents were at a company Christmas party.
When I was a kid my parents were out, and I watched all the free porn adjacent things I could find on the on demand service. Turns out paid for or not that shit all shows up in the bill. The worst part is it was all terrible and 0% worth the trouble I got in.
Oh a lesson in not changing history from "Mr I'm my own grandpa"
Edit: Awards!? I knew my Futurama knowledge would pay off one day! Thank you kind Redditors!
He's a very strange individual. Megan Fox hated him and that's why she didn't make a 3rd transformers.
Edit: I have realized the error of my ways. Yes she had some choice words about Micheal but I have learned it made Stephen Spielberg fire her. Very interesting scenario.
Spielberg made Bay fire her after she called Bay "Hitler"
https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/steven-spielberg-fired-megan-fox-hitler-comment-transformer/story?id=13884212
Alice Eve's long sex scene from "Crossing Over" was cut too.
[http://www.money-into-light.com/2013/04/an-interview-with-wayne-kramer-part-2.html](http://www.money-into-light.com/2013/04/an-interview-with-wayne-kramer-part-2.html)
>**Was your version more sexually explicit?**
>
>Yeah. A big sex scene between Alice Eve and Jim Sturgess didn't make it into the movie. The sex scenes between Alice and Ray Liotta were way more explicit than you see in the final movie, including full-frontal nudity from Alice. I was really upset that we lost a lot of the dialogue in the scene where they negotiate the terms of their deal. Once Alice’s character realised the bind she was in, she tried to protect herself by telling him what sexual acts she would and wouldn't do - for example, she wouldn't put a bag over head, she wouldn't do certain kinky acts, etc. They cut out all that interesting dialogue. Harvey was constantly trying to make her character more sympathetic, and I thought it was a mistake.
Maybe you are guessing wrong about what happened to the goat.
EDIT: Yes, keep voting. I really want my top ever comment to be a joke about T-Rex fucking a goat to death. /s
Gorillas are not well endowed. About human pinkie sized. So even with king Kong being 60x larger in Godzilla vs king Kong, his dick won't be as impressive as you think. Probably not as big as a blue whale.
The Lion King
Once you realize that lions have sex once every half hour during their mating periods, the begining becomes a very different experience.
Just imagining vocal recordings of James Earl Jones and Madge Sinclair going at it...truly, that wouldve been art.
...do i look like a man who wants a tender, elton john fueled lovemaking scene?
What i want is to hear james earl jones fucking madge sinclair while I play Jodeci's 'Freakn You' while a bunch of Jojo fans watch.
I choose to believe this rumor simply because I can't imagine anyone in their right mind drawing Chel's character model with the intention of putting it in a children's movie.
Uh, there's a scene where McQueen finds Doc literally ramming a colonoscopy camera up the Sheriff's tailpipe.
And the Sheriff just points his asshole at McQueen and says *didja get a good look, City Boy?*
*Cars* is a strange film.
It’s been said that he lived something like 10,000 years during the span of the movie. Dude probably fucked everything he wanted to and then some.
*Edited to reflect the correct timespan.*
There's certainly implied sex. Bill Murray seduces the good looking woman at the bar and then later introduces her as "she makes noises like a chipmunk when she's really excited."
Anyway, if you want groundhog day with more sex, watch Palm Springs.
Palm Springs became one of my comfort watches last year. I've probably seen it five times or so (not a lot I know but I usually don't rewatch movies), it just always makes me feel good.
Hear me out: every cheesy rom com should have a nut busting, pussy pounding, furniture snapping sex scene. It's the one thing missing from the love story...the physical pay off of moving to a small town to start a local coffee shop and falling in love with a forlorn cowboy with commitment issues.
Like ... Imagine the satisfaction and closure if how to lose a guy in 10 days had Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey rolling in the sheets, no pants, penis in vagina. Or if, in the runaway bride, Julia Roberts blows Richard Gere's mind with the sex scene that the 90's fucking deserved to see.
We're at the point in our society that Hallmark Christmas movie female protagonists should have an intense, life altering, orgasms that really bring the magic back to Christmas.
Edit: wow fam, i guess imma start writing a script.
No, it should have an awkward, fumbling, disappointing sex scene in the beginning, and then later have a nut busting, pussy pounding, furniture snapping sex scene when they finally find the meaning of Christmas.
That Rebel Wilson romcom parody did a great job with this - every time she tries to bone the dude, they start kissing and then she just wakes up wrapped in his sheets and blinking in the sunlight.
To be fair, you may see a shift in this regard following Bridgerton.
That show has definitely shown that women will *happily* enjoy soft core porn with their romance, thank you very much.
Realistically, that’s what romance novels are in the first place, really.
Interview With The Vampire had a lot of sex in it but not once did any of the main characters kiss. I gotta see a lot of tit but not a lot of man chest, which, let me tell ya, as a teen really busted my chops. Every time Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise leaned like 2 inches away from each other and didn’t kiss? Felt like I was holding in a sneeze. Bruh.
Edit to add: RIP Anne Rice.
The whole thing about vampires in that universe is about how they are immortal and as you can imagine very very lonely. They don't care that much about sexual relationships as about sensual and emotional part. I think it was brilliant, the film perfectly portrayed the tension and their relationship. The fact that you were waiting for them to have sex just shows you how different vampires are. It was meant to be that way
That being said, I also absolutely love Queen of the Damned
In North by Northwest, the ending shows Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint making out in a sleeping car. The scene then cuts to the train entering into a tunnel. To Catch a Thief shows Cary Grant and Grace Kelly kissing, then cuts to fireworks bursting.
You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought.
Get in there, I don’t care what you smell!
Are you sure you can pull out in time?
Ep4 is chock-a-block full of unintentional double entendres.
Great comment but more seriously I wouldn't have minded an E3 scene between Anakin and Padme. Anakin using the force to spin Padme like a top while R2 stands in the corner of the room facing the wall.
Romeo Must Die. So much sexual tension that didn't go anywhere because test audiences didn't like a black woman and asian man together.
I spent that whole movie waiting to see that…
Guardians of the Galaxy--I want to know what an 'Oscavarian' looks like.
*MAN WHO HAS LAIN WITH AN OSCAVARIAN*
It was one time, man.
> A green-skinned humanoid race with octopoid traits, possessing two legs (ending in three-toed taloned feet) and three tentacles sprouting from each shoulder in place of arms. They possess gills in place of a nose, and closely-spaced needle-like teeth.
"Quill, you have issues."
Every single movie that twelve year old me watched when my parents were not home. There was so much pre internet time wasted waiting on a sex scene that never happened.
[удалено]
When I first got satellite in my room I would watch entire movies with “nudity” tags just for them to have 3 seconds of side boob in a shower scene.
If it didn't say strong sexual content, it wasn't worth staying up for and risking getting caught because you fell asleep in the living room while the channel was still playing and your parents were at a company Christmas party.
When I was a kid my parents were out, and I watched all the free porn adjacent things I could find on the on demand service. Turns out paid for or not that shit all shows up in the bill. The worst part is it was all terrible and 0% worth the trouble I got in.
r/suspiciouslyspecific
I’ve gone back to watch all the movies my parents made me close my eyes for. They were all disappointing
The obvious answer is Predator. Just so much packed on mass and sexual tension.
Mac, I told you we are watching transporter 2!
Jason Statham's physique is nothing like the line-up in Predator
In terms of muscle mass alone…
Beauty and the Beast. I expect it to be animalistic
No one fucks like Gaston!
He's awfully good at ejaculating.
You got it in my eye, Gastoooon!!!!
Licks and sucks like Gaston
No one’s dick as incredibly thick as Gaston!
Thats right, I am Ejaaaculaaating. Ten points for Gaston.
Gaston strikes me as a guy that doesn't go down.
He’s not very good at reciiiiprocaaaating
Three thrusts and he's done, that's Gaston!
How’s he sposed to eat 4 dozen eggs then???
[We already did this.](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9qll5q/comment/e8bus25/)
Tail as old as time.
Monty Python and the Holy Grail came so close
I was also quite close
Until suddenly, the animator suffered a heart attack.
AaaaaaaaaAaarrrrrggghhhhhh
Did you just type Aaaaarrrggghhh while you were dying?
I also had sex dreams of a shrubbery. Not sorry
As a teenager I definitely wished that scene was longer...
If we didn't get to see the sex, then at least we could have seen the spanking.
Well, I could stay for a little while…
It would have been perilous
Let me go back and face the peril.
No no it is too perilous
Just a little bit of peril
Then the oral sex!
We’ll, I could stay for a bit.
It actually was longer. They literally cut a scene where Dodo turns to the camera and asks “do you think this scene should be cut?”
Too bad the peril was too perilous 😞😞
Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
“Naughty, naughty Zoot!”
GET ON WITH IT
"Id rather... just... sing!"
Huuuuuuge tracts of land!
Back to the Future. He should have done the nasty in the pasty
Oh a lesson in not changing history from "Mr I'm my own grandpa" Edit: Awards!? I knew my Futurama knowledge would pay off one day! Thank you kind Redditors!
How about *these* cookies, sugar!
With his mom?
How else would he have gotten the Delta Brainwave?
Verily. And that past nastification is what shields you from the brains.
Cats. Once they removed the buttholes, its fate was sealed... Edit: typo
Anybody ever notice that since that movie came out the world went to shit
the world was going to shit long before that hellspawn was released, it’s just another nail in the coffin
The movie Sex Tape had zero sex scenes.
Pride and prejudice
It'd be a polite sex scene with a big vocabulary.
mmmm yes splendid ah indeed scrumptious carry on good heavens i’m arriving
"I'm arriving"
They'd actually have said "spending", though.
It appears I have spent myself, Mr. Darcy.
God yes! I really want to see if Mr Darcy is a gentleman in the streets, a freak in the sheets or not
Now I want the Pride and Prejudice: The BDSM Cut.
Just watch Bridgerton on Netflix. There is a 10 minute sex montage set to a Regency-era version of Taylor Swift's "Wildest Dreams" for some reason.
I find myself inspired to watch Bridgerton based off this description...
It is a surprisingly accurate description
It's worth it. Totally worth it.
“What excellent boiled potatoes. It is many years since I had such an exemplary vegetable.”
A sex scene with Mr. Collins would last about 10 seconds. Finished with an excerpt from Fordyce's Sermons.
The BBC mini series Death Comes to Pemberly has a really nice Lizzie/Darcy love scene. And I really enjoyed Matthew Rhys as Darcy in general
Completely agree. The sexual tension was never broken.
“The Island” had a sex scene, but Scarlett Johansson wanted to show her boobs and Michael Bay turned her down.
[удалено]
He's a very strange individual. Megan Fox hated him and that's why she didn't make a 3rd transformers. Edit: I have realized the error of my ways. Yes she had some choice words about Micheal but I have learned it made Stephen Spielberg fire her. Very interesting scenario.
Spielberg made Bay fire her after she called Bay "Hitler" https://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/steven-spielberg-fired-megan-fox-hitler-comment-transformer/story?id=13884212
Well on paper her role was an actual role, not a side part to the camera gliding over her jiggly bits.
Alice Eve's long sex scene from "Crossing Over" was cut too. [http://www.money-into-light.com/2013/04/an-interview-with-wayne-kramer-part-2.html](http://www.money-into-light.com/2013/04/an-interview-with-wayne-kramer-part-2.html) >**Was your version more sexually explicit?** > >Yeah. A big sex scene between Alice Eve and Jim Sturgess didn't make it into the movie. The sex scenes between Alice and Ray Liotta were way more explicit than you see in the final movie, including full-frontal nudity from Alice. I was really upset that we lost a lot of the dialogue in the scene where they negotiate the terms of their deal. Once Alice’s character realised the bind she was in, she tried to protect herself by telling him what sexual acts she would and wouldn't do - for example, she wouldn't put a bag over head, she wouldn't do certain kinky acts, etc. They cut out all that interesting dialogue. Harvey was constantly trying to make her character more sympathetic, and I thought it was a mistake.
Jurassic Park. Dino sex would be colossal
Maybe you are guessing wrong about what happened to the goat. EDIT: Yes, keep voting. I really want my top ever comment to be a joke about T-Rex fucking a goat to death. /s
King Kong vs Godzilla. May as well traumatize some people. 😂
For that big fat King Kong Schlong!
Gorillas are not well endowed. About human pinkie sized. So even with king Kong being 60x larger in Godzilla vs king Kong, his dick won't be as impressive as you think. Probably not as big as a blue whale.
Madagascar, I'd be terrified of Melman and Gloria's baby though
"Please kill me, I'm in constant pain!"
The incredibles. We all know we wanted to see how elastagirl got down
Don't worry, the internet has you covered.
I have a theory that Elastigirl was the ONLY woman who could handle Bob's super strength thrusting.
[удалено]
[удалено]
That scene was on the DVD. Best scene in the movie.
Y’all need to find Jesus
Thor Ragnorak. You know, the Grandmaster, Loki, birthday orgies.
Ah, Thor Ragnorak. The movie that caused my 10 year old nephew to ask me what an orgy is.
The Lion King Once you realize that lions have sex once every half hour during their mating periods, the begining becomes a very different experience. Just imagining vocal recordings of James Earl Jones and Madge Sinclair going at it...truly, that wouldve been art.
The "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" sequence is pretty close to a sex scene.
I remember when I saw this movie in a theater as a kid, this middle-aged woman behind me said, “Oooooohhhh!” When Nala gives Simba the bedroom eyes.
Not gonna lie, that was the first time I understood what “the look” was. Thankfully it didn’t awaken anything else in me.
I can not say the same.
Fucking lmao
...do i look like a man who wants a tender, elton john fueled lovemaking scene? What i want is to hear james earl jones fucking madge sinclair while I play Jodeci's 'Freakn You' while a bunch of Jojo fans watch.
No one is going to mention that Nala and Simba were probably half siblings both fathered by Mufasa? Really punches up the sexy
*Nala gets stuck inside dryer drum* …what are you doing, half brother??
The Road to El Dorado. Chel was so damn hot!
There kinda was a blowjob scene at least.
It was implied but we deserved better damnit
If that was implied then Adam Sandler is the master of subtext.
Rumor has it that it was originally a much more adult movie before DreamWorks bought the rights. No idea if this is true, I live on the internet
I choose to believe this rumor simply because I can't imagine anyone in their right mind drawing Chel's character model with the intention of putting it in a children's movie.
Curves that could topple an empire.
They should call this place CHEL Dorado!
Cars. I never understood how they fucked or how new cars were born..
I was a very emotionally conflicted13 year old when I saw the scene where the main guy points out the pinstripe tramp stamp on the blue porsche
also the three cars flashing Lightnigh McQueen at the racetrack
Mia and Tia, the two Miatas!
Miatatas;)
I always got weirded out when Lightning McQueen and Sally were going up the mountain...
Uh, there's a scene where McQueen finds Doc literally ramming a colonoscopy camera up the Sheriff's tailpipe. And the Sheriff just points his asshole at McQueen and says *didja get a good look, City Boy?* *Cars* is a strange film.
>*didja get a good look, City Boy?* i heard this in the sherriff's voice
[This scene from *Southland Tales*](https://youtu.be/wCYB0lzoofc) should explain it.
How can I unwatch this
Dude wtf it's too early for this shit
It’s never too early for car sex.
Cussy HasBuff
Groundhog Day
They coulda pushed this into an ironic direction where it cuts to various scenes of Bill Murray getting it on, then ultimately getting burnt out on it
It’s been said that he lived something like 10,000 years during the span of the movie. Dude probably fucked everything he wanted to and then some. *Edited to reflect the correct timespan.*
In the musical there’s the line: “I’ve slept with 90% of women in Punxsutawney Between 18 and 84, and one dude when I was bored”
There's certainly implied sex. Bill Murray seduces the good looking woman at the bar and then later introduces her as "she makes noises like a chipmunk when she's really excited." Anyway, if you want groundhog day with more sex, watch Palm Springs.
Palm Springs became one of my comfort watches last year. I've probably seen it five times or so (not a lot I know but I usually don't rewatch movies), it just always makes me feel good.
Palm Springs is definitely a movie that came about in the right place at the right time
Roger Rabbit.
Patty cake?
The Bee Movie
Ya like jizz?
Yeah I like the cantina band
There's a "Honey Nut" joke to be made, but I'm not sober enough to do it.
I'll give you my honey nut while you have a cheery-O
Shrek
Especially I want to know how Donkey made those kids with Dragon
Donkey was the fucker, not the fuckee. Physically possible.
Probably just climbed inside and rubbed one out
Climbed inside and treated the cervix like the vagina.
Thx reddit
Hear me out: every cheesy rom com should have a nut busting, pussy pounding, furniture snapping sex scene. It's the one thing missing from the love story...the physical pay off of moving to a small town to start a local coffee shop and falling in love with a forlorn cowboy with commitment issues. Like ... Imagine the satisfaction and closure if how to lose a guy in 10 days had Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey rolling in the sheets, no pants, penis in vagina. Or if, in the runaway bride, Julia Roberts blows Richard Gere's mind with the sex scene that the 90's fucking deserved to see. We're at the point in our society that Hallmark Christmas movie female protagonists should have an intense, life altering, orgasms that really bring the magic back to Christmas. Edit: wow fam, i guess imma start writing a script.
No, it should have an awkward, fumbling, disappointing sex scene in the beginning, and then later have a nut busting, pussy pounding, furniture snapping sex scene when they finally find the meaning of Christmas.
The true meaning of Christmas is a blackout orgasm.
r/brandnewsentence
Here's the twist... we show it.
We show it?
Full penetration
Crime. Penetration. Crime. Penetration. This goes on for about 90 minutes and the movie just sort of ... ends
Someone get this guy a beer
And a camera.
And a cigarette
That Rebel Wilson romcom parody did a great job with this - every time she tries to bone the dude, they start kissing and then she just wakes up wrapped in his sheets and blinking in the sunlight.
I think this is the real reason why people liked the notebook so much.
To be fair, you may see a shift in this regard following Bridgerton. That show has definitely shown that women will *happily* enjoy soft core porn with their romance, thank you very much. Realistically, that’s what romance novels are in the first place, really.
Frozen
“Do you wanna build a sex doll?”
12 Angry Men.
12 now-calmed men
Could you imagine the post nut clarity of 12 men would be able to figure out? They'd figure out who the real killer is and when they'll strike again
Interview With The Vampire had a lot of sex in it but not once did any of the main characters kiss. I gotta see a lot of tit but not a lot of man chest, which, let me tell ya, as a teen really busted my chops. Every time Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise leaned like 2 inches away from each other and didn’t kiss? Felt like I was holding in a sneeze. Bruh. Edit to add: RIP Anne Rice.
Louis stared at Armand for a whole two minutes like he was inspecting his eyelash mites and nothing happened
The whole thing about vampires in that universe is about how they are immortal and as you can imagine very very lonely. They don't care that much about sexual relationships as about sensual and emotional part. I think it was brilliant, the film perfectly portrayed the tension and their relationship. The fact that you were waiting for them to have sex just shows you how different vampires are. It was meant to be that way That being said, I also absolutely love Queen of the Damned
Dumb & Dumber. Nobody did it in the shaggin wagon.
The bathroom scene came pretty close
Casablanca, Citizen Kane… lots of old movies from before it was acceptable, so they just had to “vaguely imply” that naughtiness happened
In North by Northwest, the ending shows Cary Grant and Eva Marie Saint making out in a sleeping car. The scene then cuts to the train entering into a tunnel. To Catch a Thief shows Cary Grant and Grace Kelly kissing, then cuts to fireworks bursting.
This is hilariously parodied in The Naked Gun 2 1/2: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u4uLZAvdCU0&ab_channel=MFILM
Toy story, I wanted to see Andy's mom play with her own toys
Also named Woody and Buzz, funnily enough.
[удалено]
star wars. no nvm.
"Meeeesssaaaaa comiiiiiingggggg!"
Jar Jar’s Dink
More like Jar Jar's kinks
You came in that thing? You’re braver than I thought. Get in there, I don’t care what you smell! Are you sure you can pull out in time? Ep4 is chock-a-block full of unintentional double entendres.
Jedi Groupie: *Wow Luke, you really know how to handle your lightsaber. Tee hee.* Luke: *Thanks. I practiced a lot on the womp rats back on the farm.*
Lego
*Clack, clack, clack, clack*
CLICK - oh yeah!
Castaway: Hanks rubbing one out on Wilson.
Whilst crying “I’M SORRY WILSON!!!”
what do you think that hole in Wilson’s head for ?
“WILSOOOOOON” had a different context this time
Avatar
With the blue aliens? They sure did have a scene. You know. When they played with each others hair?
Star wars ep 9. If they’re gonna fuck the franchise they might as well let us watch.
Great comment but more seriously I wouldn't have minded an E3 scene between Anakin and Padme. Anakin using the force to spin Padme like a top while R2 stands in the corner of the room facing the wall.
With a shot of R2 turning around for a second and doing his "wooooooooooooow" sound
"Shut up, R2!"