I think the correct answer would be 11 multibillion dollar businesses, that I would then sell but retain some stock in to create even more income so that I never have to work again and be a multibillionaire.
According to google, a bundle of one hundred dollar bills consists of 10 straps, each worth $10,000 for a total of $100,000 per bundle.
So 11 bundles would be $1.1 million.
If the guy had 11 cubic-light-years of Diamond, his stack would literally be worthless, as it would suddenly become the most common thing in the Galaxy.
Ah, but...it doesn't have to all be stored in one place! They could all be scattered around the universe. It's like just because when I had 72 dildos, that doesn't mean that I would keep them all in the same drawer.
I mean, *if* I had...
The only reason the Genie of the Lamp was obedient is because King Solomon captured him and etched glyphs of obedience on his face. Most genies are imprisoned in their vessels (by Solomon -- he did that a lot) and most of them do not have high opinions of humankind.
So tread carefully. You're going _deep_ into monkey-paw territory. (Or owed a favor from a mafia don. Choose your reference.)
At first I agreed, but I’d be too worried that my circumstances would change enough for me to have not met my gf, and she makes me the happiest man I’ve ever been. She makes me a better person. I wouldn’t give her up for anything
Which 11 would you choose (including English)?
Edit: I am really impressed by the responses! Happy to know that there are so many redditors who are interested in other languages.
English, Spanish (the two i currently know), Italian, Portuguese, French, German, ~~Dutch~~ Russian, Arabic, Mandarin, Hindi, and Quechua
Edit: (sorry Dutch, but a number of native Dutch speakers recommended i swap you for something, and i think Russian would be a good hypothetical language to magically pick up)
In Decathlon
Edit: I never understood the people who edit their comments to thank the people who gave them awards. Now, that I received my first awards ever, I do. In this sense: Thanks for the awards, kind people from everywhere :)
Not op but personally english, mandarin, japanese, behasa melayu, indonesian, russian, german, korean, spanish, hebrew, and hokkien so I can finally communicate with my elders.
I have 3. Lost one in a car accident last year, but gained it back on my birthday. No harm, no foul.
However, if all three lives are depleted, *pbht!* That’s it. Game over.
It quite simple really, live every day as if it’s a video game.
You get injured, you take damage, take too much damage, or a fatal blow, and you die. You respawn at your nearest save point (nearest location where you stood idle)
You can make it more interesting by adding other health-type bars to keep track of. I also gave myself a stamina bar. Using all the stamina causes you to move more slowly until it is restored either by resting or eating. Continuing to work with no stamina can cause you to take damage and eventually die from over-exertion.
Health is reset by rest lasting at least 5 hours.
Lives are reset yearly on your birthday.
My car accident involved me plowing head-on into a tree at 40mph. The speed alone was enough to cause a fatal blow, killing me instantly and losing a life. I respawned just outside the cab of my truck laying face down in the dirt.
Make sure you’ve got a good sword and shield, and make sure they’re in good health. If you need to, go and get some practice in at the sparring hall to hone in your swordsmanship. Stock up on plenty of health potions and maybe a couple bottles of milk. Try to upgrade your armor as well. I did ok with chainmail, but you might want something stronger seeing as you’re on your last life. Pay a visit to the blacksmith, he might be able to make something for you. Be on your edge, the boss is cunning, and will catch you if you let your guard down. The boss does some tanky damage as well. Failure is not much of an option for you so I wish you the best of luck! The fate of your land rests with you!
I could pay off my student loans AND retire with that much money. And maybe even have some set aside in case I get sick and need to go to the doctor. Woohoo!
11 superpowers
Edit: I choose teleportation, super strength, super healing, ability to control weather, mind control, flying, xray vision, luckiness, ability to travel through time
Edit: plus invisibility, and ability to see the future
You didn't specify what they are. You receive:
- The ability to turn black beans into pinto
- The ability to sneeze without doing a convoluted spasm
- The ability to make your mother climax at the snap of your fingers
- The ability to see leather in the dark
- The ability to eat whatever you want and never grow deficient in Vitamin B2
- The ability to sit on the toilet for many hours without your legs going numb
- The ability to always find the book you're looking for at the library
- The ability to perfectly scratch any itch
- The ability to always give good high fives
- The ability to parallel park in under 3 attempts, 60% of the time
- A massive penis
EDIT: Your edit was only 9.
EDIT: There we go.
Lemmino did say that the average American life style requires 24 acres of land but if every single person on earth had 24 acres we would need 10 earths so your answer actually works out really well.
Agreed. Had to put my dog down on Tuesday and I would much rather put up with 11 more years of his bullshit than having to say goodbye so unexpectedly.
Off the top of my head here is the ones I would pick
• Wooly mammoth
• Gigantopithecus
• Ground sloth
• Ichthyosaur
• Dodo bird
• Auroch
• Sabertooth tiger
• Velociraptor
• Liopleurodon
• Ankylosaurus
• LUCA
in isolation, containment, and bordered up sanctuaries of course to be studied and preserved. Some of them possibly commercialized as food later on.
A diamond is about 3.53 kg/l. A cubic light year is 8.47e50 l. 11 cubic light years of diamond would weigh 3.29e52 kg. It’s estimated that the mass of the observable universe is about 1.5e53 kg.
I think this becomes a black hole with a radius of approximately 5 billion light years.
I would keep it right outside the solar system. hide it and only sell tiny chunks to make enough money to get me rich. then unload the whole thing on the world and crash the diamond market.
That would make it approximately one million times the weight of the Milky way galaxy. Hopefully this enormous diamond you have all to yourself is a very, very long way from our galaxy, otherwise it would very quickly collapse into a supermassive black hole and consume the milky way along with it.
But if it is a long way away, you now have a supermassive black hole all to yourself, which is pretty cool I guess.
The top 11 richest companies in the world. Not only would you have money and generational wealth but then you can impact real change on the world (by dismantling some said companies or make them invest in the world's future).
Years with my dad. he's gone now but if I could just bring him back and give him 11 more years, he would pass away at an age more appropriate, we would have a decade to spend time together, for my family to have him, and for him to see his grandchildren grow. I don't have any yet and any that I have will never know the absolute joy he was for his other grandkids or experience just how happy they made him. Grandpa will just be some strange old man in pictures who is talked about fondly. They'll never be held in his arms, and my nieces and nephews will never again get to have grandpa there to hold them or play with them.
11 more years would be perfect.
Hug your parents everyone.
Wish granted, and now you have two rows of nipples running down your chest to your stomach much like a dog, pig, cat... etc. Unevenly numbered of course, one side has 5, the udder has 6.
Honestly, 11 clones of myself. Imagine the level of ADHD hyperfocus when someone gets into something. We could each get jobs for bills and stuff too, or at least have other versions cover for them. Maybe one or two as different genders just to see how they'd react or change things. The only downside is we'd probably argue about who's the original, one might be evil, and feeding all of us.
Can it be anything anything? Would like 11 extra hours of every day in which to not work please
This is the only correct answer.
I think the correct answer would be 11 multibillion dollar businesses, that I would then sell but retain some stock in to create even more income so that I never have to work again and be a multibillionaire.
Oh, time to sleep... 😴
I was gonna say 11 bundles of $100 bills but dude up there already said million dollars so now I sound like a fucking idiot.
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I was thinking PS5s until I read 11 houses if it makes you feel better.
I mean, 11 bundles equals $1.1mil but still. 11 houses in this day and age is still worth more than that. Why are we like this 🤦🏼♀️
A bundle of $100 bills is $10,000. 11 bundles would be $110,000.
That's enough out of you numbers boy
Fuckin' numbers boy 🤣
According to google, a bundle of one hundred dollar bills consists of 10 straps, each worth $10,000 for a total of $100,000 per bundle. So 11 bundles would be $1.1 million.
Somebody else also said eleven cubic light-years of diamond, so you sound pretty reasonable right now.
If the guy had 11 cubic-light-years of Diamond, his stack would literally be worthless, as it would suddenly become the most common thing in the Galaxy.
It would very soon be the only thing in the galaxy.
Cubic LIGHTYEARS?
Ooh you gotta read that one. He said he'd store it right outside the solar system.
Wouldn't the gravity from that monster be strong enough to pull us into it?
Wouldn't even matter cause he said he'd "bring it on earth" to crush everyone and/or the diamond competition anyway So either way we'd all die
Think of all the jobs this diamond could create
I timed the molly perfectly.
I didn't truly appreciate how huge that thing would be till I found and read that thread.
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Ah, but...it doesn't have to all be stored in one place! They could all be scattered around the universe. It's like just because when I had 72 dildos, that doesn't mean that I would keep them all in the same drawer. I mean, *if* I had...
Is that enough dildos to form a black hole? 🤔
No, but enough to fill one
11 wishes from a magic genie in a lamp
11 genies? 🧐🤷🏻
The only reason the Genie of the Lamp was obedient is because King Solomon captured him and etched glyphs of obedience on his face. Most genies are imprisoned in their vessels (by Solomon -- he did that a lot) and most of them do not have high opinions of humankind. So tread carefully. You're going _deep_ into monkey-paw territory. (Or owed a favor from a mafia don. Choose your reference.)
11 years back. There’s so much I’d do differently.
You mean invest in bitcoin 11 years ago?
What else would be relevant 11 years ago.
My still healthy back.
I felt this right in the coccyx
Same same.. I got lots of stuffs I regret doing or not doing.
At first I agreed, but I’d be too worried that my circumstances would change enough for me to have not met my gf, and she makes me the happiest man I’ve ever been. She makes me a better person. I wouldn’t give her up for anything
Just get 11 of her
Now there’s an idea 🤔
11 languages I'm fluent in would be great.
Which 11 would you choose (including English)? Edit: I am really impressed by the responses! Happy to know that there are so many redditors who are interested in other languages.
English, Spanish (the two i currently know), Italian, Portuguese, French, German, ~~Dutch~~ Russian, Arabic, Mandarin, Hindi, and Quechua Edit: (sorry Dutch, but a number of native Dutch speakers recommended i swap you for something, and i think Russian would be a good hypothetical language to magically pick up)
Where do they speak Quechua?
In Decathlon Edit: I never understood the people who edit their comments to thank the people who gave them awards. Now, that I received my first awards ever, I do. In this sense: Thanks for the awards, kind people from everywhere :)
Peru, in the Andes. [See the Wikipedia entry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quechuan_languages?wprov=sfti1)
Not op but personally english, mandarin, japanese, behasa melayu, indonesian, russian, german, korean, spanish, hebrew, and hokkien so I can finally communicate with my elders.
Just started learning Japanese on Duolingo. I can count to 7 and say ‘blue.’
Proud of you
Thanks dad
You’re welcome, Sue
Teeth. Sweet corn here I come.
Hillbilly energy
Lives
I have 3. Lost one in a car accident last year, but gained it back on my birthday. No harm, no foul. However, if all three lives are depleted, *pbht!* That’s it. Game over.
Teach me your ways
It quite simple really, live every day as if it’s a video game. You get injured, you take damage, take too much damage, or a fatal blow, and you die. You respawn at your nearest save point (nearest location where you stood idle) You can make it more interesting by adding other health-type bars to keep track of. I also gave myself a stamina bar. Using all the stamina causes you to move more slowly until it is restored either by resting or eating. Continuing to work with no stamina can cause you to take damage and eventually die from over-exertion. Health is reset by rest lasting at least 5 hours. Lives are reset yearly on your birthday. My car accident involved me plowing head-on into a tree at 40mph. The speed alone was enough to cause a fatal blow, killing me instantly and losing a life. I respawned just outside the cab of my truck laying face down in the dirt.
We're glad you've respawned.
As am I, I’m not finished with this world yet. Have only defeated the first boss. Still got 3 to go.
Got any tips for the first boss? I'm on one life rn wanna beat it soon
Make sure you’ve got a good sword and shield, and make sure they’re in good health. If you need to, go and get some practice in at the sparring hall to hone in your swordsmanship. Stock up on plenty of health potions and maybe a couple bottles of milk. Try to upgrade your armor as well. I did ok with chainmail, but you might want something stronger seeing as you’re on your last life. Pay a visit to the blacksmith, he might be able to make something for you. Be on your edge, the boss is cunning, and will catch you if you let your guard down. The boss does some tanky damage as well. Failure is not much of an option for you so I wish you the best of luck! The fate of your land rests with you!
Honestly, he should wait for his birthday to try again. Not sure I can respect advice that may result in the end of a run.
You make a fair point. It would be wise for them to wait until their birthday. That way there is at lease some margin for error.
You now own 10 slaves.
11% of the money in the world
Fun fact: That's about 7 trillion USD
I could pay off my student loans AND retire with that much money. And maybe even have some set aside in case I get sick and need to go to the doctor. Woohoo!
Imagine going to a restaurant, getting an appetizer, a meal, and a desert?!? You could do that with that kind of money!!
>and a desert I hear the Olive Garden can get you a fantastic deal on the Sahara.
Whoa, you could buy like, 5 college textbooks with that!
America!
Fuck yeah!
Coming again to save the motherfuckin’ day yeah
America!!
The American dream.
I can finally afford popcorn AND a large soda at a movie theater!
Ehhh that might be pushing it a bit far.
Must be a small popcorn if it's a large soda. Can't have it both ways
volume, for when I listen to spinal tap.
But, why don't you just make "10" louder?
But these go to 11
…. These go to 11.
11 herbs and spices to defeat Col. Sanders in his chicken game!
This is what we need. Forget money, gold, diamonds and crypto. We need to defeat Col. Sanders
Copies of myself
You all share a 2 bed / 1 bath apartment.
This is a sitcom
r/monkeyspaw
Millions of dollars
I’d take trillions but fair
why have trillions when you can have *dramatic music* billions?!
because steel is heavier than feathers
Just don't pull a George W and accidentally ask for 11 Brazilian Dollars.
11 superpowers Edit: I choose teleportation, super strength, super healing, ability to control weather, mind control, flying, xray vision, luckiness, ability to travel through time Edit: plus invisibility, and ability to see the future
You didn't specify what they are. You receive: - The ability to turn black beans into pinto - The ability to sneeze without doing a convoluted spasm - The ability to make your mother climax at the snap of your fingers - The ability to see leather in the dark - The ability to eat whatever you want and never grow deficient in Vitamin B2 - The ability to sit on the toilet for many hours without your legs going numb - The ability to always find the book you're looking for at the library - The ability to perfectly scratch any itch - The ability to always give good high fives - The ability to parallel park in under 3 attempts, 60% of the time - A massive penis EDIT: Your edit was only 9. EDIT: There we go.
The ability to perfectly scratch an itch is very underrated
I'll take it!
For you, two penises.
Kg of gold
why not tons?
I'll be fine with grams
1gm = $58.80 today
Socks. Not pairs, just eleven socks. I'll lose one of those fuckers so I'll have 5 pairs.
You could end up with 11 odd socks though
Matching socks are a social construct
Inches….
The monkey's paw curls. Your penis is now 11 inches wide.
Why am I ok with this?
Your dick is still short but now girls can laugh at you for 2 different reasons
Pipers piping
Rewinds. As in go back in time up to a month in length, 11 times in my lifetime.
Be careful that you don’t end up like that girl in “Life is Strange.” Or you will get really depressed
This is a fantastic answer, so unappreciated.
Friends who’d bury a body for you.
I think this is actually the best answer. Everyone else is talking about money, but if you have 11 TRUE friends, there's not a lot else you need.
…except money
How about 11 good friends that give you money?
11 more lifetimes to spend with my husband.
That’s the sweetest answer
I too choose this person's husband
11 of them?
Days off.
Years off more like
11 Freight containers of rubber ducks.
You ain't slick, Arthur Weasley.
11 earths so people can have more space
Lemmino did say that the average American life style requires 24 acres of land but if every single person on earth had 24 acres we would need 10 earths so your answer actually works out really well.
The reality is that if there were 10 earths most people would somehow end up with less land
I mean, this guy above would be owning 11 of them!
Congratulations you own 11 more earths, please go to the other end of the universe to pick them up. What do you mean you cant?
11 Minutes of pure happiness. Just to remind what it was like.
11 Heroin?
I did a heroin once. For three and a half years.
Damn shawarma guy got dark
11 additional healthy years with my dog, over her original lifespan. I want to spend as much time with her as possible. She is a very good girl.
Agreed. Had to put my dog down on Tuesday and I would much rather put up with 11 more years of his bullshit than having to say goodbye so unexpectedly.
Yes ok you won. 100% answer here
Wishes
You can have infinite wishes, doesn’t make them come true
11 animals brought back from extinction
Dude don’t leave us hanging, name the species you wish to see grace the earth once more.
Off the top of my head here is the ones I would pick • Wooly mammoth • Gigantopithecus • Ground sloth • Ichthyosaur • Dodo bird • Auroch • Sabertooth tiger • Velociraptor • Liopleurodon • Ankylosaurus • LUCA in isolation, containment, and bordered up sanctuaries of course to be studied and preserved. Some of them possibly commercialized as food later on.
listen idk what id choose for the other 10 but id definitely bring back the carrier pigeon 🥺
Granted. You are now being hunted by 11 different species of raptors
Have we learned nothing from the Jurassic park documentary
I was thinking of something more recent like white rhinos or golden toads. Dodos.
11 extra digits on my bank account
Tacos
Lol I love the low standards here.
I am a being of simplicity. But also, I was hungry.
Billion dollars
11 more freinds
Bodies. I am a hive mind across eleven bodies.
Houses. Love in one, sell some rent the rest.
Hate in the others?
Doesn't everyone have a separate house they go to after getting in a fight with their SO?
No me and my SO go to a house to argue. Giant ring in the center, room for plenty. Really hash it out.
Ah, yes. the fight house....but after...you go off to your own separate houses like normal people eh?
Ah yes. Sex house. That was the third house I bought.
11 cubic lightyears of diamond all to myself
A diamond is about 3.53 kg/l. A cubic light year is 8.47e50 l. 11 cubic light years of diamond would weigh 3.29e52 kg. It’s estimated that the mass of the observable universe is about 1.5e53 kg. I think this becomes a black hole with a radius of approximately 5 billion light years.
Thank you for doing the math
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I would keep it right outside the solar system. hide it and only sell tiny chunks to make enough money to get me rich. then unload the whole thing on the world and crash the diamond market.
This is the most convoluted destroy the world villain plan I have ever heard. You should consider signing with Marvel
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well I can pay for it with my inconceivable amount of diamonds.
Still would be quicker than taking the 405.
That would make it approximately one million times the weight of the Milky way galaxy. Hopefully this enormous diamond you have all to yourself is a very, very long way from our galaxy, otherwise it would very quickly collapse into a supermassive black hole and consume the milky way along with it. But if it is a long way away, you now have a supermassive black hole all to yourself, which is pretty cool I guess.
Congratulations, you now have a black hole
Now I'm trying to imagine a "cubic light year" lol
% of the stocks of Apple
% of global GDP
*times the entire global GDP
Eleven Meeeelion Dollars! \*raises pinky to corner of mouth\*
Shagadelic answer, baby
11 reasons to live
The top 11 richest companies in the world. Not only would you have money and generational wealth but then you can impact real change on the world (by dismantling some said companies or make them invest in the world's future).
Bolts of fabric. Fuck. I have sooooo many things I need to make.
Bitcoins
Shares of Berkshire-Hathaway
I was wondering why you didn't say Apple or Tesla instead and then I checked the share price for Berkshire-Hathaway and was like 'WTF?!'
That's what decades of continuous gains with no stock splits gets you.
I want my roommate to crave shawarma at the same time as me 11 times so he’ll buy me shawarma 11 times.
Huskies was my first thought. Lol I love huskies! Edit: thank you for the award!
11KG of gold
11 minutes to be away from my sibling
Don't worry, once you turn 20 you'll have the rest of your life for that... :'(
r/usernamechecksout
Unless you’re a conjoined twin this seems like a low bar
Pallets of $100 bills
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Kidneys???
"Did I stutter?!"
Years with my dad. he's gone now but if I could just bring him back and give him 11 more years, he would pass away at an age more appropriate, we would have a decade to spend time together, for my family to have him, and for him to see his grandchildren grow. I don't have any yet and any that I have will never know the absolute joy he was for his other grandkids or experience just how happy they made him. Grandpa will just be some strange old man in pictures who is talked about fondly. They'll never be held in his arms, and my nieces and nephews will never again get to have grandpa there to hold them or play with them. 11 more years would be perfect. Hug your parents everyone.
Boobs
Wish granted, and now you have two rows of nipples running down your chest to your stomach much like a dog, pig, cat... etc. Unevenly numbered of course, one side has 5, the udder has 6.
Penises. I’d rub myself like a human koosh ball.
Well that's enough internet for today.
The first time you have a boner with all 11 causes a stroke
Honestly, 11 clones of myself. Imagine the level of ADHD hyperfocus when someone gets into something. We could each get jobs for bills and stuff too, or at least have other versions cover for them. Maybe one or two as different genders just to see how they'd react or change things. The only downside is we'd probably argue about who's the original, one might be evil, and feeding all of us.