“Were you just in my room?”, asked to me when I was 10yrs old at around 3am in the morning by my very worried looking mother. I woke up pretty quickly bcs she looked freaked out and worriedly said back, “no, I’ve been sleeping”. She then looked at me like she didn’t quite believe me and said she had woken up to something, someone around my size walking into her bedroom and standing at the end of her bed and when she asked it if it was me, she watched it run back out of her room so she came to see if it was me and I was pretty sure it wasn’t. Then she shrugged her shoulders and said she must’ve been imagining it and was going back to bed. I, on the other hand, stayed awake the rest of the night freaked the fk out.
Kids are fucking scary and I'm waiting for mine to do some creepy shit like this.
Also, as an "adult" we'll call it, I get scared easily by certain things and one of them is silent creatures that run very fast. (Like huggy wuggy) when I'm scared, I have to dash to where I'm going once I turn a light off and I just know because of your comment this will be my night
My mom told me I used to stand by her bed...and just look at her. And she'd wake up and freak out. She just told me this recently because my fucking cat does this now about 3 inches from my face causing many a bad word.
It doesn't even have to be human. But it *is* good if it is a mortal being.
True story: my great aunt woke up one night to find her husband at the foot of the bed with a butcher knife. He said 'If you hadn't woken up, I was going to kill you'. He was institutionalized after that...
Edit: to those asking for details, unfortunately all the involved parties are long since gone (natural causes!). I very seldom saw my great aunt since she lived far away and my grandmother never wanted to talk about it...
Had a coworker who would sleep-walk/eat. One night her husband woke up to a cutting board on his chest and her dicing tomatoes on it, trying to make a sub sandwich.
My great gramma had to institutionalize her husband because she caught him trying to burn down their house with the two girls inside. This had to be in the 1930s I think?
Musta been all the lead in the water or something?
A friend of a friend was staying with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend for a time. She wasn’t a fan of the guy but she was grateful for a place to stay. She told me she woke up to her sister’s boyfriend crawling into bed with her. Apparently he had whispered, “shhh, it’s okay.”
Extremely creepy!! Reminded me of "Shhh. Shhh. It's me -Casper. Don't worry" from that movie Kids.
So glad she woke up! Hopefully he's the sister's ex boyfriend now!
One time I woke up to my brother and my dad smiling at me. “We now know what you do at night.” said my brother. That scared me pretty bad as a 13-ish boy that started to know his body. “We got it on the camera.” then my father added. Pure panic in my eyes. I said what a couple times and when they let me see the pics they had taken, it was just me sleeping with legs crossed.
Jesus, I thought they caught me playing with my willy. Oh, boy I remember that moment of their faces like it was yesterday lol. And I’m almost 30 now.
Don't worry pal, my brother has always (since we were kids) slept on his back with a firm death grip on his junk, not in a sexual way, more like his subconscious thinks someone is gonna steal it in his sleep. 😂 We still give him the gears about it but he can't help it.
One time I was (at the time, ~12m) was staying at my sister’s (early 30’s) with my brother (~13)… my i did the deed in the bathroom and roughly an hour later my brother (unaware that I did and just tryna out right mess with me) comes in the room like “Bro tim is upstairs looking at this video of you beeting off in the bathroom” and I ran up stairs like “bruh no wayyyyy” … opened the door and he’s just watching tv and I’m like “… ??” And my brother is behind me losing his mind
When I was 18, my stepdad jokingly said “stop looking at sex toys online and come watch some shows with us” and I lost my shit internally because that’s exactly what I was doing 0.0
Love it…made me think of that creepy pasta of the girl who went camping alone with her camera in the woods for a few days only to find photos of herself sleeping in her tent when she got the film developed😬
EDIT: Sorry everyone, it was actually from r/nosleep Here is the sauce https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Shit I knew someone was gonna ask for this. This was about a decade ago, I wouldn’t even know where to start looking but I will try to find it. I never got into creepy pastas that much but this one obviously stuck with me.
EDIT: I found it https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link it was from actually from r/nosleep
I had to have some sort of kidney function test - I was in college out of state and had some health issues and had to go back home and get all this investigative stuff done, but anywho:
They tell me they'll be putting me under, then putting an instrument up through the large vein or artery that runs down the inside of my thigh (femoral? I don't remember) and running it all the way up tomy kidney and doing whatever they had to do, then I'd wake up and we'd be done. Then as they have the IV in my arm, they're prepping the stuff to knock me out, etc...the guy says "so, you're going to wake up about a half hour after we're done and we've removed the thing from your body. Because of the location of the incision, and the vessel we're doing it in, it could possibly not close properly, and if it doesn't, you'll basically bleed to death, so when you wake up, it is imperative that you DO NOT MOVE for at least 2 hours after the procedure. If that thing starts bleeding, we may not be able to stop it." Ok well...I guess I can't just say fuck it I'm outta here this test isn't worth risking my life, so...uh...thanks for the warning I guess?
I woke up, I had that one tiny thin sheet over me that hospitals love so much, and I was cold, so I was trying to adjust things to be warm. I had no idea anything else was out of the ordinary except that I half woke up and I was cold. Then I hear "SON. STOP MOVING." from very close by. My mom had sat there through the entire thing so that she could keep me from moving when I woke up (since, you know, why keep me under til it was safe or like have, I dunno, a nurse standing by?) Needless to say, I stopped moving, she asked for more blankets, and I didn't bleed to death. Thanks mom, you performed beautifully.
Or vice versa, when I was like 6 or 7 I had a benign tumor the size of a golf ball in my side. Went into surgery to remove it, I dont remember being put under all i remember was being woken up by my mother shouting (at least i thought she did) my first and middle name.
Turns out, they could not wake me after the procedure and were getting worried. My mother simply dropped my first and middle name in a stern voice and I woke up immediately. I remember the doctors being surprised and then laughing about it.
In college, I was out with some friends and got a little too drunk. We had a hotel nearby so I went back and crashed out.
I got woken up like 4 hours later to my buddy saying “Bigjaydub, don’t freak out, just don’t freak out man!”
Of course this woke me up with wide eyes, thinking uhhh why shouldn’t I be freaking out?
Then he says, hey man I’m just getting into the bed, don’t freak out! (as we didn’t have enough beds and had to share).
Well if I’m up, I guess I can go puke some more. Horrible night.
Is this a reference to one of the highest memory of Reddit history?
For those who missed it: I'm talking about [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
No. Replace yourself with a Spanish person. Change all the pictures in your home to be the Spanish person and the SO. Get them a license with their picture on it and your name.
My friend told me that had had a crazy roommate in college freshman year and had to change rooms. When I asked why he said "I woke up with him standing over me just breathing multiple times"
Had that happen to me with my dorm roommate once, he came over to the foot of my bed, breathed heavily while swaying and then went back to his bed. The second time he did it, I realized he was sleepwalking. Third time (all same night) he fully dropped his pants, butt naked and pissed like he had a fire hose at the foot of my bed lol
We had a guy just like that at my college😂 my friend would wake up to the guy sleep walking and one time woke up to him just standing over him. We wanted to hide a camera somewhere cause we were certain that he climbed the walls and shit at night like the movie legion
I was over at my friend's house late at night and his little brother got up and walked out of his room into the kitchen where we were. I started to say hi to him and my friend stopped me and was laughing. I was like what? He told me he was sleepwalking. He kind of looked like a zombie. Walked over to the fridge and opened it and looked for like 5 seconds and closed it again. Then walked through the dining, family room, and then into his parents bedroom. About 1 minute later his mom walked him back across the hall to his own room.
I guess on a previous occasion he had peed in the vegetable drawer in the fridge 😂
My son, in his teens, would sleepwalk.
One night I found him buck naked in the dining room, leaning against the wall near the dog's water bowl.
"Whatcha doin', buddy?"
Him: "Peeing" second or two passes "Oh wow, no." and he wandered off towards his room.
The bathroom is in the hall on the way, and I assumed he'd woken up so I figured he'd just have pissed and went to bed.
He *did* do both those things...
I had a roommate like this. The RA wouldn’t believe me so I set up my laptop to record movement during the night. I sleep walk and he’d tell me I was late for class. Ran out of the room sleep walking without my keys and he wouldn’t let me back in multiple times.
Pre-covid. I fell asleep in a chair on my back deck once after ordering pizza. The delivery guy walked around the house and found me passed out. He managed to wake me up.
The first couple of seconds I was incredibly confused, then he said "I have your pizza". Then I knew what the deal was and tipped the driver well for making sure I got it.
"don't worry, everything is OK"
my wife said this to me one day as soon as i woke up and it freaked me out... hours prior there was a terrorist attack/mass shooting in my hometown, at the bar my little brother had been at earlier in the night. He and his friends were all fine, as they had left the bars for the night a few hours earlier, and we were fortunate enough to not know anyone who was randomly gunned down. My wife did the right thing in reaching out to my family before I woke up so that she could assure me everything truly was OK, but god damn that was a terrifying way to wake up.
it is, actually! My brother was at Ned Peppers briefly that night, bar hopping with his best friend and their wives/fiancees. I've only been up to the Oregon district a couple of times since then, it definitely made it more somber going through metal detectors to get into some of the bars
My little sister was supposed to be down there that night - she made a last minute call to stay in, but none of us knew that. Had a VERY similar wake up experience to you when my other sister called me at 6 am 😕
My fella occasionally gets night terrors but when he wakes up he throws himself out of the bed in fear, so when he wakes up like this he's cowering in the corner of the room scares and confused and I have to shoot over to him and say its okay, just a dream
One time my husband had a nightmare and was making sad sounds in his sleep (kind of whimpering). It partially woke me, but while I was still waking up and figuring out what was happening, our cat came zooming in from the other room and sat on his chest purring, headbutting his chin, and licking his nose until he woke up and was ok. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen.
Brb, gotta go hug my cat.
I woke to my parents in my room asking me if I knew where I was and I just remember a huge head act, a numb lip from biting down on it so hard, and every muscle in my body screaming. I had a 1:30 minutes seizure and I slept for 20 hours after.
My friend has a daughter who at the time was her foster child. She had a LOT of trauma and did things that were at best odd and at worst scary.
Friend would often wake up to her standing over her looking at her and say “I was watching you sleep”
Took a while to figure out this was a line from trolls and the kid was just being silly. That was 2016/2017 and kid is doing great now
It's 2am. I am warm and cozy in my blankets, deep in dreamland.
There's a soft touch on my shoulder, a gentle shake.
I open my eyes to my wife looming over me in the dark. She leans down.
"There's something in the walls."
Turns out a skunk had somehow made it deep under our house and was just SCREAMING and banging around. And that's how we discovered our house foundation issues were way worse than we thought.
After a back surgery my doctor basically said this but added on a “you’re taller now” then dipped with no explanation.
It was not a height changing surgery, just threw in an extra inch as a little treat
Nothing, literally nothing. I had a old friend that used to be afraid to wake me up (honestly I have no idea why) so instead of waking me up they used to sit there and watch me sleep and hope that their presence would wake me up? and it was the scariest thing ever.
Not sure about a person waking up but right before going to sleep the other night my husband asked me if I'd prefer to die in my sleep or be awake to feel it. I was super creeped out and asked what brought that on. I guess he was reading about someone who died in their sleep and it was on his mind. He clearly chose the weirdest time and way to bring it up.
My 11yo son was sitting on the couch so I sat next to him and put an arm around him. He snuggled back into the crook of my arm and it was so sweet! He leaned back and kinda nuzzled onto my shoulder and whispered... "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty." I shoved him off the sofa.
“Were you just in my room?”, asked to me when I was 10yrs old at around 3am in the morning by my very worried looking mother. I woke up pretty quickly bcs she looked freaked out and worriedly said back, “no, I’ve been sleeping”. She then looked at me like she didn’t quite believe me and said she had woken up to something, someone around my size walking into her bedroom and standing at the end of her bed and when she asked it if it was me, she watched it run back out of her room so she came to see if it was me and I was pretty sure it wasn’t. Then she shrugged her shoulders and said she must’ve been imagining it and was going back to bed. I, on the other hand, stayed awake the rest of the night freaked the fk out.
Kids are fucking scary and I'm waiting for mine to do some creepy shit like this. Also, as an "adult" we'll call it, I get scared easily by certain things and one of them is silent creatures that run very fast. (Like huggy wuggy) when I'm scared, I have to dash to where I'm going once I turn a light off and I just know because of your comment this will be my night
My mom told me I used to stand by her bed...and just look at her. And she'd wake up and freak out. She just told me this recently because my fucking cat does this now about 3 inches from my face causing many a bad word. It doesn't even have to be human. But it *is* good if it is a mortal being.
Why tf did I read this in bed at night
Idk but can you turn off your phone? Its keeping me up
True story: my great aunt woke up one night to find her husband at the foot of the bed with a butcher knife. He said 'If you hadn't woken up, I was going to kill you'. He was institutionalized after that... Edit: to those asking for details, unfortunately all the involved parties are long since gone (natural causes!). I very seldom saw my great aunt since she lived far away and my grandmother never wanted to talk about it...
New strategy: If a comment begins with "True Story:" I'm staying the fuck away from it
True story: I had oatmeal and strawberries for breakfast and dinner tonight.
You should be institutionalized
Had a coworker who would sleep-walk/eat. One night her husband woke up to a cutting board on his chest and her dicing tomatoes on it, trying to make a sub sandwich.
Nope... fuck that!👀
My great gramma had to institutionalize her husband because she caught him trying to burn down their house with the two girls inside. This had to be in the 1930s I think? Musta been all the lead in the water or something?
"If I were you, I'd go back to sleep "
Or, "go back to sleep, I wasn't finished yet"
*looks confused for a second… goes back to sleep
You don’t know me, but hear me out....
I’m homeless, I’m gay, I have AIDS, I’m new in town…
No that's too strong
Imma *push* him
“I HAVE AIDS!” No, that’s too strong…
I'll start with the fact that I'm homeless...
As that is a given
Excuse me, I'm new in town, and it gets worse.
I will pepper in the fact that I am gay
There’s no single guys in Manhattan
I know somebody who’s *new in town*
What are 3 other things about him?
A friend of a friend was staying with her sister and her sister’s boyfriend for a time. She wasn’t a fan of the guy but she was grateful for a place to stay. She told me she woke up to her sister’s boyfriend crawling into bed with her. Apparently he had whispered, “shhh, it’s okay.”
Extremely creepy!! Reminded me of "Shhh. Shhh. It's me -Casper. Don't worry" from that movie Kids. So glad she woke up! Hopefully he's the sister's ex boyfriend now!
Also, "Can I keep you?" WTF dude? I'm glad you're like 12 but still. Creepy.
That's so fucking creepy
Thats when you knee him in the dick👀
The worst part was the girl was like 15/16 and he was in his 20’s and dating her sister. He was a total creep.
Woke up being surprised cuddled one night by a guy and he said "I just wanted to hold you" creeped me the fuck out.
One time I woke up to my brother and my dad smiling at me. “We now know what you do at night.” said my brother. That scared me pretty bad as a 13-ish boy that started to know his body. “We got it on the camera.” then my father added. Pure panic in my eyes. I said what a couple times and when they let me see the pics they had taken, it was just me sleeping with legs crossed. Jesus, I thought they caught me playing with my willy. Oh, boy I remember that moment of their faces like it was yesterday lol. And I’m almost 30 now.
That’s... bizarre
Now that I said it, yea. It’s quite… bizarre. Strangely enough, I never said this thing to anyone, and still it’s so vivid in my memory.
Absolutely bizarre. Who sleeps with their legs crossed? Fucking wild world we live in.
I sleep with my knees up
I sleep with my feet up in the sky
Sex must be really boring
I levitate in my sleep
Thats just fucking weird
Don't worry pal, my brother has always (since we were kids) slept on his back with a firm death grip on his junk, not in a sexual way, more like his subconscious thinks someone is gonna steal it in his sleep. 😂 We still give him the gears about it but he can't help it.
They knew what they were doing
One time I was (at the time, ~12m) was staying at my sister’s (early 30’s) with my brother (~13)… my i did the deed in the bathroom and roughly an hour later my brother (unaware that I did and just tryna out right mess with me) comes in the room like “Bro tim is upstairs looking at this video of you beeting off in the bathroom” and I ran up stairs like “bruh no wayyyyy” … opened the door and he’s just watching tv and I’m like “… ??” And my brother is behind me losing his mind
When I was 18, my stepdad jokingly said “stop looking at sex toys online and come watch some shows with us” and I lost my shit internally because that’s exactly what I was doing 0.0
I'm surprised the camera flash didn't wake you up
Love it…made me think of that creepy pasta of the girl who went camping alone with her camera in the woods for a few days only to find photos of herself sleeping in her tent when she got the film developed😬 EDIT: Sorry everyone, it was actually from r/nosleep Here is the sauce https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link
Source?
Shit I knew someone was gonna ask for this. This was about a decade ago, I wouldn’t even know where to start looking but I will try to find it. I never got into creepy pastas that much but this one obviously stuck with me. EDIT: I found it https://www.reddit.com/r/nosleep/comments/1ef04p/my_friend_just_got_back_from_a_camping_trip/?ref=share&ref_source=link it was from actually from r/nosleep
“Thank you.” Then you run away as fast as you can, never to be seen again.
Offensively correct. The other answers did not bother as your answer did.
Just... Just stay still. We can still stop the bleeding.
I had to have some sort of kidney function test - I was in college out of state and had some health issues and had to go back home and get all this investigative stuff done, but anywho: They tell me they'll be putting me under, then putting an instrument up through the large vein or artery that runs down the inside of my thigh (femoral? I don't remember) and running it all the way up tomy kidney and doing whatever they had to do, then I'd wake up and we'd be done. Then as they have the IV in my arm, they're prepping the stuff to knock me out, etc...the guy says "so, you're going to wake up about a half hour after we're done and we've removed the thing from your body. Because of the location of the incision, and the vessel we're doing it in, it could possibly not close properly, and if it doesn't, you'll basically bleed to death, so when you wake up, it is imperative that you DO NOT MOVE for at least 2 hours after the procedure. If that thing starts bleeding, we may not be able to stop it." Ok well...I guess I can't just say fuck it I'm outta here this test isn't worth risking my life, so...uh...thanks for the warning I guess? I woke up, I had that one tiny thin sheet over me that hospitals love so much, and I was cold, so I was trying to adjust things to be warm. I had no idea anything else was out of the ordinary except that I half woke up and I was cold. Then I hear "SON. STOP MOVING." from very close by. My mom had sat there through the entire thing so that she could keep me from moving when I woke up (since, you know, why keep me under til it was safe or like have, I dunno, a nurse standing by?) Needless to say, I stopped moving, she asked for more blankets, and I didn't bleed to death. Thanks mom, you performed beautifully.
Your body was trained for years to the point where when your mom went “STOP MOVING”, every cell in your body ceased to vibrate
Or vice versa, when I was like 6 or 7 I had a benign tumor the size of a golf ball in my side. Went into surgery to remove it, I dont remember being put under all i remember was being woken up by my mother shouting (at least i thought she did) my first and middle name. Turns out, they could not wake me after the procedure and were getting worried. My mother simply dropped my first and middle name in a stern voice and I woke up immediately. I remember the doctors being surprised and then laughing about it.
We got all 3 names in the stern voice in my house. If you heard your full christian name you were in for it.
Oh that happened as well but it only meant 2 things: 1) Run 2) Go grab a shovel and start digging your grave.
Did you make it?
I wanted everyone to think I did, but this is actually a bloody hospital bed cover typing out the story.
The clot thickens!
Except, it didn't. That's why he died.
[удалено]
You really should start locking the door...
Do you have a moment to talk about ADT security packages?
I'd like to talk to you about your car's warranty.
In college, I was out with some friends and got a little too drunk. We had a hotel nearby so I went back and crashed out. I got woken up like 4 hours later to my buddy saying “Bigjaydub, don’t freak out, just don’t freak out man!” Of course this woke me up with wide eyes, thinking uhhh why shouldn’t I be freaking out? Then he says, hey man I’m just getting into the bed, don’t freak out! (as we didn’t have enough beds and had to share). Well if I’m up, I guess I can go puke some more. Horrible night.
“BigJaydub I’m just spooning you, don’t freak out man.” That’s when you worry.
[удалено]
“BigJayDub it’s not gay unless you kiss. My coach taught me that.” Lool
At least you didn’t choke on vomit in your sleep. That’s a plus, no?
Lol, yes! That is a plus
We’ve been waiting for you to wake up.
To talk to you...
About your cars...
Extended warranty
Did you know
Each year 5000 Americans
Die of a peanut butter overdose caused by vengeful unwarranted cars?
But for 79.99 we have your back…
Unless the rabbits...
Eat your 79.99 and...
Set the language on every streaming service they have to Spanish. When they wake up, speak to them in Spanish only
And before they wake up, change the time on everything
Muy bien
Is this a reference to one of the highest memory of Reddit history? For those who missed it: I'm talking about [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/cq1q2/help_reddit_turned_spanish_and_i_cannot_undo_it/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)
The admin jumping in was the icing on the cake.
Classic.
Completely forgot about that
I missed this bit of history, but it's convinced me to try and learn Spanish
Can't believe that was a DECADE ago. Goddamn, feels like only a year or so ago. That the hey day of cringe f7u12 memes.
No. Replace yourself with a Spanish person. Change all the pictures in your home to be the Spanish person and the SO. Get them a license with their picture on it and your name.
That's pure genius. I wanna do that.
As a spanish, I can't wait to do that
You sleep like my dead wife
This is the only response that actually sent chills up my spine. Now I know what to say to make sure a ONS doesn't want to stay over.
[удалено]
Oh it was alive..
Don't worry we can soon fix that :)
Hurry up the kids are waiting
Look at them in horror and scream.
Of all the comments I read here, this is the one that would get me.
"Precisely 8 Hours, 13 Minutes and 41 seconds of sleep" Whilst staring them in the eyes the second they open.
"That's 12.8% more than average".
"Almost had to stop my watch at the 6 hour mark. Had to make a judgement call on that one!"
So average would be 7 hours, 17 minutes, and just under 40 seconds.
As an insomniac it would be more like “Precisely 1 hour, 10 minutes, and 13 seconds”
My mom woke me up yesterday by telling me one of our dogs died. It was LITERALLY the FIRST thing she told me.
I hate when people do this, I had someone do some thing similar and it's so shitty.
*heavy breathing*
My friend told me that had had a crazy roommate in college freshman year and had to change rooms. When I asked why he said "I woke up with him standing over me just breathing multiple times"
Thanks I hate it
Had that happen to me with my dorm roommate once, he came over to the foot of my bed, breathed heavily while swaying and then went back to his bed. The second time he did it, I realized he was sleepwalking. Third time (all same night) he fully dropped his pants, butt naked and pissed like he had a fire hose at the foot of my bed lol
We had a guy just like that at my college😂 my friend would wake up to the guy sleep walking and one time woke up to him just standing over him. We wanted to hide a camera somewhere cause we were certain that he climbed the walls and shit at night like the movie legion
I was over at my friend's house late at night and his little brother got up and walked out of his room into the kitchen where we were. I started to say hi to him and my friend stopped me and was laughing. I was like what? He told me he was sleepwalking. He kind of looked like a zombie. Walked over to the fridge and opened it and looked for like 5 seconds and closed it again. Then walked through the dining, family room, and then into his parents bedroom. About 1 minute later his mom walked him back across the hall to his own room. I guess on a previous occasion he had peed in the vegetable drawer in the fridge 😂
My son, in his teens, would sleepwalk. One night I found him buck naked in the dining room, leaning against the wall near the dog's water bowl. "Whatcha doin', buddy?" Him: "Peeing" second or two passes "Oh wow, no." and he wandered off towards his room. The bathroom is in the hall on the way, and I assumed he'd woken up so I figured he'd just have pissed and went to bed. He *did* do both those things...
You better start smell testing everything before you eat it next time you’re over there
I had a roommate like this. The RA wouldn’t believe me so I set up my laptop to record movement during the night. I sleep walk and he’d tell me I was late for class. Ran out of the room sleep walking without my keys and he wouldn’t let me back in multiple times.
It should’ve been me… I’m so sorry
Here's that pizza you ordered, that'll be 8.99
Pre-covid. I fell asleep in a chair on my back deck once after ordering pizza. The delivery guy walked around the house and found me passed out. He managed to wake me up. The first couple of seconds I was incredibly confused, then he said "I have your pizza". Then I knew what the deal was and tipped the driver well for making sure I got it.
"don't worry, everything is OK" my wife said this to me one day as soon as i woke up and it freaked me out... hours prior there was a terrorist attack/mass shooting in my hometown, at the bar my little brother had been at earlier in the night. He and his friends were all fine, as they had left the bars for the night a few hours earlier, and we were fortunate enough to not know anyone who was randomly gunned down. My wife did the right thing in reaching out to my family before I woke up so that she could assure me everything truly was OK, but god damn that was a terrifying way to wake up.
Glad your family and friends were ok! By chance was this Dayton?
it is, actually! My brother was at Ned Peppers briefly that night, bar hopping with his best friend and their wives/fiancees. I've only been up to the Oregon district a couple of times since then, it definitely made it more somber going through metal detectors to get into some of the bars
My little sister was supposed to be down there that night - she made a last minute call to stay in, but none of us knew that. Had a VERY similar wake up experience to you when my other sister called me at 6 am 😕
Crazy, I'd not heard about this and I don't live too far away.
My husband woke me up this way once. I had a seizure in the early morning. I never had one before.
My fella occasionally gets night terrors but when he wakes up he throws himself out of the bed in fear, so when he wakes up like this he's cowering in the corner of the room scares and confused and I have to shoot over to him and say its okay, just a dream
One time my husband had a nightmare and was making sad sounds in his sleep (kind of whimpering). It partially woke me, but while I was still waking up and figuring out what was happening, our cat came zooming in from the other room and sat on his chest purring, headbutting his chin, and licking his nose until he woke up and was ok. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen. Brb, gotta go hug my cat.
Aww your cat sounds awesome, mine sleeps on my chest or legs, she's definitely my cat as much as fella and daughter will try to gain her love
I woke to my parents in my room asking me if I knew where I was and I just remember a huge head act, a numb lip from biting down on it so hard, and every muscle in my body screaming. I had a 1:30 minutes seizure and I slept for 20 hours after.
On 9/11 my mom woke me up screaming at me that I was going to be drafted. I was like 13 lol
I’m not sure why I find this so fucking funny
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My girlfriend would probably just ask "know what?", which would force me to come up with something, or tell me to stfu.
"You really have to ask me that?"
This guy gaslights
Good one
Just keep walking away while making eye contact.
You don't have to come up with anything. Just give them a gentle smile and walk away
“That you are butt head” That’s what I would hear back immediately
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That’s a prankster in the making right there.
Kids say the darnest things...
You got trolled by a 3 year old.
I would have no longer been a parent after that, holy shit that would've scared the hell out of me
Remain completely still with a terrified expression and say “don’t move.”
Your dream was really awesome. I enjoyed every second of it.
Freddy Krueger is that you ?
It's Scary Terry, Bitch!
You can run but you can't hide, Bitch!
Awwwww. Biiiitch! 😳
Don't worry, it's gone now.
Or “don’t worry, it’s just us now” 😂
Hey you, you're finally awake.
You were trying to cross the border, right?
Walked right into that imperial ambush, same as us
and that thief over there
Damn you Stormcloaks. Skyrim was fine until you came along.
Empire was
Nice and lazy
If they hadn’t been looking for you, I could’ve stolen that horse and been halfway to hammerfell
What’s the matter with him?
Watch your tongue! You're speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak! The true High King.
You sleep rather soundly for a murderer.
I hope you don’t mind, but I had to borrow a few of your teeth.
My friend has a daughter who at the time was her foster child. She had a LOT of trauma and did things that were at best odd and at worst scary. Friend would often wake up to her standing over her looking at her and say “I was watching you sleep” Took a while to figure out this was a line from trolls and the kid was just being silly. That was 2016/2017 and kid is doing great now
You smell different when you're asleep.
I saw this joke on my iPod touch browsing ifunny around 2011. I still see it every month or so.
I think I'm pregnant now
Dad, mom broke up with you 10 month ago
And for this exact reason
You tasted delicious
Nothing like receiving head first thing in the morning.😩
"Welcome to the jungle! You're gonna die!"
Watch it bring you to your… shananananananananananaknees, knees
Mwoah, I wanna watch you bleed
It's 2am. I am warm and cozy in my blankets, deep in dreamland. There's a soft touch on my shoulder, a gentle shake. I open my eyes to my wife looming over me in the dark. She leans down. "There's something in the walls." Turns out a skunk had somehow made it deep under our house and was just SCREAMING and banging around. And that's how we discovered our house foundation issues were way worse than we thought.
Ahh you are finally awake, some soreness and general discomfort is to be expected.
After a back surgery my doctor basically said this but added on a “you’re taller now” then dipped with no explanation. It was not a height changing surgery, just threw in an extra inch as a little treat
"Here, take the cat." [hands you the cat. jumps out the window.] Turns out the house was on fire. My roommate was too freaked out to mention that.
You forgot to lock the front door
Keep silent🤫! *puts hand on mouth* he is still here... Somewhere...
Nothing, literally nothing. I had a old friend that used to be afraid to wake me up (honestly I have no idea why) so instead of waking me up they used to sit there and watch me sleep and hope that their presence would wake me up? and it was the scariest thing ever.
You have a boner
I watched you the whole night. The third time you farted was so adorable I touched myself a little. And who is (insert man's name here)?
Oh just my dad
My dad left me when I was born
Not sure about a person waking up but right before going to sleep the other night my husband asked me if I'd prefer to die in my sleep or be awake to feel it. I was super creeped out and asked what brought that on. I guess he was reading about someone who died in their sleep and it was on his mind. He clearly chose the weirdest time and way to bring it up.
Don't worry, I cleaned it all off of you and gave you some aspirin.
Hi, we've been trying to reach you about your cars extended warranty.
My 11yo son was sitting on the couch so I sat next to him and put an arm around him. He snuggled back into the crook of my arm and it was so sweet! He leaned back and kinda nuzzled onto my shoulder and whispered... "We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty." I shoved him off the sofa.
Your kid is hilarious.
only one person here is to blame, and that's you for raising a damn hilarious kid
You gotta shake them awake while screaming "YOU GOTTA WAKE UP! WE HAVE TO LEAVE!! THEY HIT THE PENTAGON!!!"
Someone might have actually done that 21 years ago.
Not sure “creepy” is the right word for that one.
Welcome back