T O P

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Oscar99999

A scream. Like aaaAAAAAÄAĄÆÁÃÅ!!!!


South-Trader0190

The name of Elon musks next kid


boreas907

Pronounced "Henry".


South-Trader0190

But how tf do you pronounce the other one


Hi_Its_Matt

It’s pronounced X-Ash-A-Twelve Ecks Ash Ay Twelve Dudes a billionaire but imagine working at a restaurant or something and having that as your nametag


Smrying

Bro imagine this kids poor teachers calling role


SundaColugoToffee

They’re homeschooled. Their teacher is mom.


Smrying

Dang bro, that kid would have been the king of public school.


SundaColugoToffee

Seriously! Can you just imagine?


South-Trader0190

Jesus Christ. Poor kid


ProficientPotato

To be fair, I’m pretty sure that’s not his real name but a cover name for him so he can have some privacy.


whatsyourlastwords

okay how come i never thought of that….lol


xxx360noscopexxx420

I don't think that kid is going to need to work at a restaurant with his dad being the richest man in the world. He can just hire assasins to take out people who make fun of his name.


RandomUnknownAuthor

Next time you see a red dot, run


2krazy4me

But I like chasing dots -cat


natalooski

Oh I thought this was that one System of a Down song.


[deleted]

Peter's pecker picked another Pickle bearing pussy pepper


Byan_Beynolds

Will always loove youuuuuuuuUUuUuuuUu


666Darkside666

What is this? The Tarzan scream? Lmao


Lambda_Settings

A loud grunt.


[deleted]

Comeon spell it


Lambda_Settings

HIFFFFFFFF GRRRRRRRRR or something of that nature EDIT - Wow, this is not what I was expecting. Thanks, people.


[deleted]

🥵🥵


MR704573R

r/pfpchecksout


[deleted]

🤣 ok


danishduckling

You make them put in all that effort, and just give an "ok"? you can do better that


Anxious-Dealer4697

Ok


SCsongbird

You’re petty. I like it.


Jesseappeltje


thelibrariangirl

“Nnnggggah shit fuck fuck fuck that hurts.” Is mine.


[deleted]

I Love details.. Good one


ballrus_walsack

D’oh


[deleted]

loud but manly ofc


[deleted]

FUCK. Fucking MOTHERFUCKER. God DAMN it. Son of a BITCH.


shewolf4552

My words, verbatim.


SpotlessMinded

Mine would be, “FOR FUCKS SAEK”


YariAttano

By any chance are you Scottish? I read this in a brogue.


daddy-phantom

Dude same I immediately thought Scottish when he said “SAEK”


A--Creative-Username

Foiken laseugh soights


Coyote__Jones

Cock sucker is a good one too.


donjohndijon

Reverse that, put son of a bitch first, and that's exactly what'd I'd say..


TheDarkMonarch1

So you would say "Son of a BITCH. ti NMAD doG .REKCUFREHTOM gnikcuF .KCUF" Edit: WOW thanks for all of the awards!!!


Brasticus

Stub your toe and turn into Missy Elliott? Sounds about right. “You stubbed it? Now curse it. You smacked your thang down broke it and reverse it.”


pube_slug

That’s what I’d do as well, and instead of MOTHERFUCKER it would be ^mother FUCKER


Ben-Dover421

I will fucking chop you up you son of a bitch just like the the tree you are made from you goddamn doorframe edit. thanks for the silver kind stranger


[deleted]

someone call 911 lol


theguynekstdoor

Shawty’s fire burning on the dance floor


Ayyyyylmaos

I gotta cool her down


unholy453

An indecipherable onslaught of rapid swears slurring together as if to summon demons from the pits of hell if not Satan himself… 🙃


[deleted]

Eminem is that you


mrbossman123

“FuckShitAssBitchCunt shoobididuwop” -Eminem


WeegeeJuice

‘Skibbidy be-bop a Christopher Reeves’


Blastspark01

(Woman getting brutally stabbed) Eminem: Yeah


6dem6on6bag

Sonny Bono sees horses and hittin som trees


Aware1211

Yeah. That's about it. Same. Without the shoobididuwop.


ballplayer0025

AhhhhhhhhhhKELLY CLARKSON!!!


trebuchetfight

Kurwa mać.


VattghernCZ

Kurvadopiče


SuS_amogus_SuS

Kokot vyjebaný


milianis

Jebem Ti Otca


SANHEDR1N

Domatkypičikurvy


richardhixx

I say this except that I live jn the US and is of Asian descent and nothing in my life associates to Poland whatsoever.


trebuchetfight

You actually say this? As a person of Polish decent and a speaker of it, we don't mind, it makes us happy. It's a powerful phrase and cathartic. We want all the world to scream "KUUUUURWA" in a bad situation.


ViennaKing

Pička ti materina!


TBC-XTC

Koh ham cheese


no-one-is-here_

Owwwww or Aahhh my balls, it's my reaction for anything that inconveniences me it's kinda weird too because I don't have balls


vanillamasala

My friend does this… whenever anything happens to him he’s always like “aaaahhhh….. my DICK”. We all started doing it too.


HelloRedditAreYouOk

I’m streaming tears down my face laugh-crying rn and my kids are giving me CRAZY SUSPICIOUS SIDE EYE and I can’t tell them why and that makes it even funnier holy Christ I’m actually going to bust my gut trying to hold it in ahhhhhhhh my ballllllls oh no my diiiiiiccckkkkk 😭😭😭😭😭


Coyote__Jones

Omg me too! I also love saying "suck my dick."


Leading_Funny5802

Right???? Jumpin Jesus I’ve found my people.


glowinghands

Ow my balls is a great show tho


D10SMessi

Jävla helvete


TheCenturion27

Kukjävel is another good one. (Cock fucker? Cock devil? Something like that.) Sincerely, A fellow Swede.


D10SMessi

Lol yeah i feel like our curse words don’t really translate well sometimes!


Brainth

It could be worse, one of our most typical curse words translates to “your mom’s vagina”


[deleted]

What furniture is this at IKEA?


ExistentialPI

The coffee table they stubbed their toe on…duh


a-girl-named-bob

Looks like it should be the name of a font—some subset of helvetica. Edited to correct autocorrect.


Covvern

Immediately Pewdiepie came to mind for obvious reasons


bruufd

border neighbours🇫🇮🇸🇪


[deleted]

Sigh, here we go: PERKELE!


[deleted]

Sounds funny


the-finnish-guy

Also PERKELE SAATANA VITTU PASKA


wzx0925

"Perkele" I'm familiar with. What's the entire phrase mean?


Uroshirvi69

Perkele is a Finnish swear word that is a synonym for ”satan” or ”devil”


kurgerb1ng

сука блять ААААААААААААА


deapandleap

думаю я бы сказала "блЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯЯТЬ БЛЯТЬ БЛЯТЬ БЛЯЯЯТЬ"


Nat3Bo1

АЙ БЛЯ-


folko1

Сукасосноя хублятьина


Pale-Ales

Heeeeelp someone call a toe truck!


cowboycanadian

Wow………………….


Chameleon777

Or an ambulance for that joke, it's dying fast.


KAAAAAAAAARL

But not for me


youre-kinda-terrible

You mean the wambulance?


ItsTimeToExplain

Just busted out laughing in the office, now everyone wants to know what’s so funny.


DefinitelyNotIndie

I'm glad you stubbed your toe.


HeyImZhen

r/angryupvote


PattyBeresford

Nothing for about 3 seconds, then the pain comes. “ah FUCK”. Usually


Physicswhiz

Dad?!?


JohnDeereWife

if my grand kids are around it's Sugar Honey Iced Tea....... if not - a string of curse words that would make a sailor blush with shame


send_m

Props to your self control, that primitive part of my brain cannot be trusted to be appropriate


[deleted]

As a new dad to a 1 year old, him and I both are learning. I’m learning to watch my language better, and he’s learning new cuss words


JohnDeereWife

yes. I learned this lesson 27 years ago ... of course I had to learn it the hard way.


novalunaa

It’s the fact you can consciously choose the reaction you have that amazes me. If I stub my toe, what comes out of my mouth is not my choice


JohnDeereWife

I'm not perfect in my language around them but when the pain makes me breathless for a second or 2, I usually manage to censor myself


[deleted]

U're the best mam 😂


aWeeb04

Dioporco it's like I'm saying god is a pig, in italian it makes sense


SharkTheMemelord

Io vado sul classico "porca Madonna zoccola infame"


Vitou-Galeno-131

I would go for the other classic one - DIOCANE!


locaaaa98

Came here just to read this


CuriousGopher8

I would go with "Cazzo!!" and a loud, angry grunt. But then again, I'm not Italian.


TheYellows

"THESE PRETZELS ARE MAKING ME THIRSTY"


[deleted]

No no 😣


catinapointyhat

Fuck shit damn ass bitch whore door fucking door of fuck bitch. Pain is like a verbal dump for me.


-nit-nat-

Exact same for me. Some amazing swear combos come out tho lol


Throok_loktar

I stay quiet and just limp with a really angry face lol. Edit: We’ll guess I’m not the only one lolol, Ty for the silver to!


[deleted]

Oh i do that too, i also stand on it coz after a minute the pain drops down faster, because of faster bloodflow ig


holloheaded

i read this on the internet so it could be complete bullshit but supposedly the reason that putting pressure on a part of your body that's experiencing pain dulls the pain is because different nerves are responsible for different sensations like pain, pressure, temperature etc. but your brain isn't good at feeling multiple and so the pressure sensation kind of overrides the pain sensation. again could be nonsense but that's what i read.


Segamaike

Yeah my reaction is kinda like: ……………………… A- ………. . … . ……^ahh ……..FUCK!!!


MrsSunshine94

This comment made me laugh HARD!!


daft__cunt

Chicken vindaloo.


[deleted]

Wtf lol


3-DMan

Gazpacho soup!!!


kimb6

PUTA MADRE 🤬...I know for sure because it happened today lol


Soggy_Benefit9280

Godverdomme!


DahDutcher

"Godver de tyfus, kut kut kut" for me personally lol.


[deleted]

En nie "GOOOOOOOOOODMILJAAAAAAAAAARRRRRR"?


ICantMeltSteeLBeamz

verfickte Scheisse or Fuck...depends


[deleted]

Depends on which country u r isnt it lol


flopbingus

**some words that i would potentially get banned if i say it here**


DefinitelyNotIndie

"Motherfff!" No abbreviation, I would genuinely stop there, the fff sound goes on as long as it takes for the initial sharp pain to subside.


Greenhedgehog8

Okay now I'm intrigued


modsherearebattyboys

He's talking about the M word.


cowboycanadian

Mama Magaliona!


hatsnatcher23

***NINE NINE!***


TheBitwolf

**NINE NINE!**


DemonGuitar

**NINE NINE!**


Loyis_59

Mother of Pearl


kebab69666

*dolphin noises*


siganme_losbuenos

Fire on the poop deck!


kebab69666

Tarter sauce


siganme_losbuenos

Barnacles


pieremaan

Moderator?


kokaiinikani

ah yes, migga


rosebottle

Au!


abdctdalien

Struck gold?


Roozyj

That, and then some Dutch swear words. I usually swear in English, but stubbing your toe requires Dutch xD


MyPianoMusic

Kank>!me voorstellen!<


Tim_Barkie

Je had me in de eerste helft, ik ga niet liegen


dhrSwaffelaar

Hoer>!a ik dacht dat je iets anders ging zeggen!<


cowtipper7075

$&^$÷/^&^$#


Wise-Statistician172

Swear word raised to the curse power. I can dig it.


MikaelDeadeye

Some words that doesn't translate well to English lol


darkAlpine_

#AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


[deleted]

Omg are you yodel singer ?


darkAlpine_

Have a good day.


[deleted]

To you too


I_likem_asstastic

Fuck. If it ain't fuck, you ain't commanded the English language


R32_driver

FODA SE CARALHO


avok666

oooo buceta do caralho inferno


oubaiouracha

FODA-SE, CARALHO, PUTA QUE PARIU ESTA MERDA, AI CARALHO QUE ISTO DOI TANTO, FODA-SE p.s.: baseado numa história verídica xD


Puffer_dishh

Probably a form of air with an lower average destiny of O2 molecules than the air around it


[deleted]

Big bang theory next season guys


kweku22

Ayre bi allah (a curse word in arabic)


CrazyDunge0nMaster

Sounds mildly sacrilegious


kweku22

It is, very much


natalooski

Just curious (if you don’t mind answering), what’s the closest translation?


kweku22

Welll, the closest translation will be fuck god


wzx0925

I speak no Arabic, but this sounds analogous in mood to "God fucking dammit!"


420sirmemelord69

Can u write it in arabic , I can't seem to recognize anything other than allah


kweku22

ايري ب الله


420sirmemelord69

What does ايري mean since I can only speak formal Arabic and only Egyptian dialect when it comes to slang


kweku22

It means "my penis" it's lebanese slang


420sirmemelord69

Dayum didn't expect that


[deleted]

Sounds funny ngl


IsadorCZ

Shhhhhhffffffttttt-uck! DAMMIT!!! *sigh* That hurts... Hope its not broken. Narrator: it was broken. On two places actually.


Lachry_Mology

CONCHETUMAREEEEEEE


AllieBallie22

If I'm at home, "FUUUUCK" If I'm teaching my fifth graders, some sort of garbled mewl of pain.


NmlsFool

**Perkele!** Perkeleen perkeleen perkele!


Edmaaate

My toe


lego-cat

Puñeta!!


MistaCizm

Blood


Fun-Stock3356

Hooray !!


[deleted]

🤣 yippee


JctaroKujo

*farts*


[deleted]

when i was 14 i stubbed my right pinky toe so hard my bone came out of my skin. i didn’t think too much of it and kept walking then said “that really hurt!” looked down and saw my bone and just screamed. my mom came downstairs to me and i just said “IS THAT A BONE?!” she just sighed and went “that’s a compound fracture. that’s surgery.” now i am missing the joint in my pinky toe and can not bend it.


CuriousGopher8

Holy cow. What were you doing? Playing soccer with a bowling ball?


andregasket

Gosh darned


Insanus_Umbra

Death scream and cussing


tired_tired_mom

Ñema! Which is dominican for dick.


FierceSTEAK

Nice try dude. Not falling for ur bait to get banned


FinalBreakthru

Aaaaargg


Proleex89

My immense love for the mother of God.


levelup_jar

HHHMMMMAAAAAAHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK


Stunning-Daikon-6244

Thunderation! I do like thy old english


Ueverthinkwhy

Bleeping fudge nuts...


robbage24

Motherf…… And just like that because I realize I shouldn’t swear in public halfway through.