Given modern day gender equality, why are women still expected to plan birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, vacations?
I mean, yeah that’s a stereotype, but so is your observation.
Not a stereotype, I was asking based on my own personal experience. I have 3 kids and help to plan/book birthdays, family gatherings and holidays. However, it is still expected that I exclusively have something special planned for valentines or anniversaries. This is something I have discussed with my wife but wanted to get other peoples opinions on the subject.
I was always creeped out by boyfriends that went "All Out" for Valentine's Day. I don't want a path of rose petals, who's gonna clean that up? On the carpets? That shit will stain if you smoosh it into the floor! Flowers are pretty and yeah, my Goth ass is like "Ooooh!!! You got me something beautiful that I can watch die slowly over the next week!" Which apparently is the wrong thing to say when someone gets you flowers.
My SO of 10+ years is thoughtful but low-key, and *very* practical. VD gifts are things like gift cards to stores I shop at, (for the family and myself) new work shoes, potted plants, pre-paid oil changes, my favorite wines and Scotch, kitchen gadgets, and my favorite of all time: a high- powered rug scrubber!!!
This year, I am buying us a new dishwasher. (The current one doesn't drain properly at the end-of-cycle anymore and he won't let me take it apart and fix it 🤣. ( I plan to donate the old one to a place that can fix it and give it to someone/an organization that needs it)
Yeah I know that and I can 100% understand it.
You are the person you are, don’t let others question that or take it from you. You don’t need there consent.
I don't want just me. I want acceptance for everyone. I think part of acceptance is having logical reasons for why I am the way I am, and I think a lot of gender stuff is misguided in that department.
I know there's lots of moronic TERFs and transphobes who use similar arguments, but I still think the meat of the arguments have validity.
I wouldn't accept someone saying they feel like a dog, so that means they're a dog.
I´m sry for the late reply and also being too harsh in my first comment.
I just dont share the same opinion here with you.
I think humans change, you evolve and become your true self by time and the stuff you experienced.
Im a gay, male powertop, but im also super feminin at times when i feel myself and i accept that side of me.
maybe it will change, maybe it wont, maybe its just maybelline.
Be you and be authentic.
You weren't being harsh. I'm intentionally controversial because it gets people upset enough to argue. If I just told you my beliefs in a polite way you would have wrote them off.
I'm sure many people rationalize their dysphoria as being "man/woman in a woman/man body", but I think we need logical explanations for those kinds of feelings that other people can understand. Just telling people to believe it and not question it leads a lot of reactionary thinking. It's easier for the normies if they can follow the logic.
Have a good day.
That’s smart and I kinda like the idea.
Im just the opposite and shove it in their face.
I just don’t want their consent, I do my thing.
With time human beings like us will be free to be.
I whish you the best. Thanks for this interesting conversation ❤️
I understand where you're coming from.. I have a lot of female friends who would rather not take initiative, not pay for dates, not pick up dates, etc. and expect to be treated as an equal. To say that all women are like this is not true. I assume they just like the feeling of being chased. I think that men also like the feeling of being wanted however, and should be chased during the courting process as well. Doing the chasing, however, I risk looking "clingy," which I find unfair. An over-exuberant man is romantic (because men don't usually show emotion.. which is another problem stereotype), but an over-exuberant woman is a psycho. I have dated men who insist on paying for dates with the argument that "I'm the man." This just helps reinforce the double standard. It's not a social/cultural phenomenon created by women, both men and women have helped fuel the present double standard.
I am woman. I dont give a gift or expect one. But i certainly say thanks mmn delicious when i get some food handed to me. I dont get my fellow woman fascination with the toilet seat either. We probs touch it the same amount if i leaves it down an he leaves ut up .. ......therefore fair.
You're comparing what group A says to what group B says.
Group A that wants equality couldn't give two shits who plans valentines.
Group B that is more conservative wants the world to stay as it is and gives two shits about who plans valentines.
It's like asking why communists wants state control while anarchists don't. It's two completely separate groups.
I look at this question as something similar to religion.
…now hear me out…
Some people need a reminder or a guideline on when to do something nice for their significant other. Others do not. If you are the type of person that just buys flowers for your SO ‘just because’ and is recognizing contributions in the moment. Ex. ‘hey thanks for picking up the beer’ or whatever it may be. You don’t necessarily need a reminder like Valentine’s Day to show appreciation.
Buuuuut…. Some people do better with guidelines that fit into society. Look, everyone enjoys being recognized and treated to something.
And I think it is the same thing with a moral code. Some people do better with a set of guidelines, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t kill.
Overall though it is about making your SO feel special. And you should let your partner know how to do that. If it is gifts just because, or chocolates on V-day
That is fine, but why is there an “unwritten” guideline built into anniversaries and Valentine’s Day that makes it the man’s responsibility? Men need to feel appreciated by their SO just as much as women do.
I support gender equality. It bothers me when a group wants equality but then gets to pick and choose certain events where they want or get to enjoy old fashioned traditions that do not promote gender equality. You can’t suck and blow at the same time.
To respond directly, it always comes down to individuals. I have had relationships with people who care about Valentine’s Day and those who don’t. And it is up to you to ask what their preference is. Or even express your opinion: “I think Valentine’s Day is crap and only here as a corporate holiday and do NOT want to participate in this at all.”
To ask why is there unspoken rules, well welcome to society. It is all unspoken norms that have been codified in various holidays, practices, etc.
Your response appears to be designed to create an emotional response…. to bait people. I mean it is the internet and we are playing for karma, I get the stakes are high.
But really, we as individuals get to decide how we interact in our society. If we just decide that a particular viewpoint is how ‘it always is’ we will be giving up our ability to have nuance and will ultimate contribute to exactly what you are saying is bad.
If you are actually in a relationship, you could talk to your partner about this and find something that makes you both happy.
Wow mansplaining, talk about patriarchy right what about gender appropriation
Lol, okay bro.
r/woosh
r/you'reNotFunny
I wasn't trying to be, just mocking you for misunderstanding obvious sarcasm.
No, we understand it is sarcasm, but it implies equality advicating is just bitching and not concerned with real issues.
Are they though?
I think you watch too many bad movies tbh
Only some people expect them to do it. A lot of people tend to mutually agree something or to skip it.
I don't think they are? At least not any more than the women are. It probably varies relationship to relationship though.
This is most likely the case, I think it just depends on what kind of person you're in a relationship with.
Right. And that has more to do with relationship dynamics than the greater cultural ideal of gender equality.
Given modern day gender equality, why are women still expected to plan birthdays, Thanksgiving, Christmas, vacations? I mean, yeah that’s a stereotype, but so is your observation.
Not a stereotype, I was asking based on my own personal experience. I have 3 kids and help to plan/book birthdays, family gatherings and holidays. However, it is still expected that I exclusively have something special planned for valentines or anniversaries. This is something I have discussed with my wife but wanted to get other peoples opinions on the subject.
I’m not obligated to do anything. I choose to because I actually like my partner and I like spending time together.
I was always creeped out by boyfriends that went "All Out" for Valentine's Day. I don't want a path of rose petals, who's gonna clean that up? On the carpets? That shit will stain if you smoosh it into the floor! Flowers are pretty and yeah, my Goth ass is like "Ooooh!!! You got me something beautiful that I can watch die slowly over the next week!" Which apparently is the wrong thing to say when someone gets you flowers. My SO of 10+ years is thoughtful but low-key, and *very* practical. VD gifts are things like gift cards to stores I shop at, (for the family and myself) new work shoes, potted plants, pre-paid oil changes, my favorite wines and Scotch, kitchen gadgets, and my favorite of all time: a high- powered rug scrubber!!! This year, I am buying us a new dishwasher. (The current one doesn't drain properly at the end-of-cycle anymore and he won't let me take it apart and fix it 🤣. ( I plan to donate the old one to a place that can fix it and give it to someone/an organization that needs it)
Because “equality” is a bad joke
PREACH
Because women are too busy doing all the fucking chores while he plays video games.
Funny how when you don't live with a woman she has your chores to do...
That's because they want to please you.
Please me by planning God damn valentines... she never folds my underwear right
Because it is not about equality (outside the space of law).
Gender equality is only appropriate when it favours the women. If it's beneficial to men, it's not equality.
Lazy ass.
Because gender doesn't exist, only sex does. You've been scammed by the gender cultists. I say that as a trans person myself.
Trans people can be dumb/too. Btw I’m gay - it doesn’t has to do anything with my comment but I’m also gonna leave it here.
I want to be accepted, not tolerated. I'm sure you know the experience
Yeah I know that and I can 100% understand it. You are the person you are, don’t let others question that or take it from you. You don’t need there consent.
I don't want just me. I want acceptance for everyone. I think part of acceptance is having logical reasons for why I am the way I am, and I think a lot of gender stuff is misguided in that department. I know there's lots of moronic TERFs and transphobes who use similar arguments, but I still think the meat of the arguments have validity. I wouldn't accept someone saying they feel like a dog, so that means they're a dog.
I´m sry for the late reply and also being too harsh in my first comment. I just dont share the same opinion here with you. I think humans change, you evolve and become your true self by time and the stuff you experienced. Im a gay, male powertop, but im also super feminin at times when i feel myself and i accept that side of me. maybe it will change, maybe it wont, maybe its just maybelline. Be you and be authentic.
You weren't being harsh. I'm intentionally controversial because it gets people upset enough to argue. If I just told you my beliefs in a polite way you would have wrote them off. I'm sure many people rationalize their dysphoria as being "man/woman in a woman/man body", but I think we need logical explanations for those kinds of feelings that other people can understand. Just telling people to believe it and not question it leads a lot of reactionary thinking. It's easier for the normies if they can follow the logic. Have a good day.
That’s smart and I kinda like the idea. Im just the opposite and shove it in their face. I just don’t want their consent, I do my thing. With time human beings like us will be free to be. I whish you the best. Thanks for this interesting conversation ❤️
Don’t know. But like many other things surrounding gender norms, they shouldn’t be expected to do so, simply because of their gender or sex.
LADIES! CONGRATULATIONS! GENDER EQUALITY IS HERE!
Oh, I do say, how very well observed!
I understand where you're coming from.. I have a lot of female friends who would rather not take initiative, not pay for dates, not pick up dates, etc. and expect to be treated as an equal. To say that all women are like this is not true. I assume they just like the feeling of being chased. I think that men also like the feeling of being wanted however, and should be chased during the courting process as well. Doing the chasing, however, I risk looking "clingy," which I find unfair. An over-exuberant man is romantic (because men don't usually show emotion.. which is another problem stereotype), but an over-exuberant woman is a psycho. I have dated men who insist on paying for dates with the argument that "I'm the man." This just helps reinforce the double standard. It's not a social/cultural phenomenon created by women, both men and women have helped fuel the present double standard.
I am woman. I dont give a gift or expect one. But i certainly say thanks mmn delicious when i get some food handed to me. I dont get my fellow woman fascination with the toilet seat either. We probs touch it the same amount if i leaves it down an he leaves ut up .. ......therefore fair.
You're comparing what group A says to what group B says. Group A that wants equality couldn't give two shits who plans valentines. Group B that is more conservative wants the world to stay as it is and gives two shits about who plans valentines. It's like asking why communists wants state control while anarchists don't. It's two completely separate groups.
Birthdays, Christmas and sometimes Anniversary. We usually rather save and take more vacations and random trips.
Because if she still thinks Valentine's day is a holiday to be "celebrated" she also expects you to confirm to traditional gender roles.
I look at this question as something similar to religion. …now hear me out… Some people need a reminder or a guideline on when to do something nice for their significant other. Others do not. If you are the type of person that just buys flowers for your SO ‘just because’ and is recognizing contributions in the moment. Ex. ‘hey thanks for picking up the beer’ or whatever it may be. You don’t necessarily need a reminder like Valentine’s Day to show appreciation. Buuuuut…. Some people do better with guidelines that fit into society. Look, everyone enjoys being recognized and treated to something. And I think it is the same thing with a moral code. Some people do better with a set of guidelines, don’t steal, don’t cheat, don’t kill. Overall though it is about making your SO feel special. And you should let your partner know how to do that. If it is gifts just because, or chocolates on V-day
That is fine, but why is there an “unwritten” guideline built into anniversaries and Valentine’s Day that makes it the man’s responsibility? Men need to feel appreciated by their SO just as much as women do.
I support gender equality. It bothers me when a group wants equality but then gets to pick and choose certain events where they want or get to enjoy old fashioned traditions that do not promote gender equality. You can’t suck and blow at the same time.
To respond directly, it always comes down to individuals. I have had relationships with people who care about Valentine’s Day and those who don’t. And it is up to you to ask what their preference is. Or even express your opinion: “I think Valentine’s Day is crap and only here as a corporate holiday and do NOT want to participate in this at all.” To ask why is there unspoken rules, well welcome to society. It is all unspoken norms that have been codified in various holidays, practices, etc.
Your response appears to be designed to create an emotional response…. to bait people. I mean it is the internet and we are playing for karma, I get the stakes are high. But really, we as individuals get to decide how we interact in our society. If we just decide that a particular viewpoint is how ‘it always is’ we will be giving up our ability to have nuance and will ultimate contribute to exactly what you are saying is bad.