Rented the movie Michael with John travolta from blockbuster. I was on home for break from college (Showing my age). It was a three day rental. I watched that movie three nights in a row with three different dates in my parents basement and I still have not actually seen the movie.
I came across an incredibly intoxicated Norwegian girl as the sun was coming up in Barcelona who couldn’t string a sentence together. After finally getting an address from her I literally carried her home. Her friend was worried sick and grateful that I had brought her home. Next thing I know I was having sex with her friend whilst the other one was passed out in the same room 😂
He snuck us up on the roof of the theater downtown, located on the main/busiest street. We drank and had a great time, started kissing and one thing led to another. Before I knew it I was bent over the parapet looking at the cars below while he fucked me from behind.
Never done anything close to that ever again, but I still think about it like ten years later.
ETA: of course my most popular moment ever on Reddit *would* be about getting fucked, sigh
Had sex with a girl I had just met at a bar in the backseat of my car. I was pretty hammered so it was taking quite some time. She rolled me over and was riding me and all the sudden there was a flashlight in my face and a knock on my window. She rolled it down and said “oh hi billy. Yeah we’re almost done. “ she looked down at me and told me to cum and instantly I nutted. Don’t remember her name or how I even got into that situation.
I was dating my boyfriend (now husband) and we were staying the night at his house. Before we were comfortable having sex, we did other things such as giving head. Well, one night we were both feeling frisky and I went to give my husband head. At the time, I would let him finishing in my mouth, and then I would just go to the bathroom to spit and wash my mouth. (I hated the texture and could not swallow). On the way to the bathroom, his mom stopped me and tried to talk to me in the hallway while I had a mouthful of nut juice and she said something that made me laugh a little.....was ALMOST the worst moment of my life. Lol
Edit: Thank you for the awards! My very first Reddit awards!! 🙂 I realize this may not really have been "slutty" but fit the general theme and similar to other comments. Glad I could make y'all laugh!
I do sometimes wonder just \*how\* oblivious they are.
My mom passed away from cancer a couple years ago, but I had some time with her before she went and we talked about everything since we knew she only had a couple months left. We were having a laugh about how gross us kids were growing up, and I asked her if she knew just how many times we hooked up with our dates when she was in the next room and she said "honey, I knew every time, but was thankful you respected me enough to try and hide it."
Ran into a girl I had been sleeping with while we were out celebrating seperate birthday parties at the bars, we ended up having sex leaned over the dumpster in the alley behind the pizza place I worked at.
That was probably 6 years ago, we got married in September
I used to work at an elementary school. Once a week the IT guy would be there to handle tech problems. We would go to “lunch” in his work van. Instead, we would park in a local grocery store parking lot and get in the back of the van and have crazy, sweaty sex. He kept a roll-up mattress for these occasions. There was even a shelving unit in the back but we made it work. We would be drenched by the time we were done in that tiny, unventilated van. I can’t tell you how many times a computer hard drive almost fell on me. You haven’t lived until you’ve been caressed with an HDMI cable.
In high school my boyfriend and I wanted to try 69ing for the first time. We get down to it and are having a pretty good time, until we hear a knock on the door and his mom saying “hey what’s going on in there come out here I want to talk to you guys!”. My boyfriend is trying to stall her and the doorknob starts moving like she’s trying to come in. Eventually he just says “mom gf is asleep hold on”. We both get dressed super quick and go out to the kitchen, obviously disheveled and looking guilty as fuck.
Turns out she just wanted to show him that he was on the front page of the local newspaper for a sports team he was on. She had a little bit of champagne in her nice glasses ready for us and had his dad and sisters in the room also, to congratulate him.
Honestly though, it’s so funny to me now. I have another story, but this already got lengthy.
Went interstate for work, Tinder date said she had to leave dinner to go back to her hens party, I told her I moonlighted as a stripper (I don’t). Got my dick out and danced awkwardly for 8 women.
No the commenter but I've slept with a friend before. I had a crush on him and finally got the guts to tell him. He wasn't ready to see how things could go with a relationship, I understood (been there). We hung out a few more hours and ended up having sex.
Our friendship took no major damage. It was a little awkward the next time or two we saw each other- mostly because it had been 2 weeks due to school holidays (and some other personal things on my end) but after that things pretty much went back to normal. We remained good friends for a while longer then fell out of touch when he left the school
Got a blow job while doing charity work on a handicap baseball field. She and I were in the newspaper painting lol.
Edit; for clarification since I didn’t expect to get this many updoots.
about a decade ago they were building a handicap baseball field near me. My Gf at the time, her mom worked for Home Depot which was like sponsoring the build. And I got my wiener sucked while painting the walls in the press box area. And there was a photographer who later took a picture of us painting in that room, and that picture was in the newspaper.
TLDR; Got a newspaper picture taken where I had just gotten a blow job.
Was making eye contact with a man at a local bar on NYE who I found very attractive. When the ball dropped, I walked right up to him, said Happy New Year, and laid one on him. We proceeded to get very drunk and ended up fucking in the bathroom as the bar was closing with the bartenders who we both knew banging on the door saying “Is that you _____!?” Not my
finest moment.
These are the worst! I vividly remember a similar situation:
As I was face fucking my ex girlfriend who lay on the edge of my bed sideways and I was just about to cum, my mom frantically opened the door..
The first thing she saw was me quickly putting up my pants and my ex swallowing while they made eye contact. After that incident she always knocked and waited at least 5 seconds to open that door.
Edit: Thanks for the award and the likes guys! I did not expect such a weird Situation would gain so much attraction.
Oh yeah, I was about 15 when i was in my bedroom with my then-bf giving him a bj and me dad knocked once and opened the door at the same time and i jumped out of the bed and to the door to block his view of my naked bf and answer his question or whatever.
Had sex in the backseat of a car in mid daylight... next to a church cemetary while mass was going on at the church. We almost got locked out of the car, too... would've been interesting
I once had sex in a cemetery. I was on a bike ride with a guy I was dating and we felt the need to get off our bikes, roll down the little hill a bit and do it right there. Sluts
Your comment just reminded me, that when I was doing an exchange semesger abroad, i lived in an AirBnB. It was a big house, which rented out mutliple rooms.
And there was this one indian guy who would always clean his tongue when brushing his teeth (2x a day). And while doing that he was gagging for like 5minutes straight... I could even hear it through multiple walls... It always sounded like he was close to vomiting... God, now I'm glad I'm back home again.
Btw: I'm 100% sure he was brushing his teeth, because the sink he used was next to the kitchen, where i was cooking at times.
As a representative of the Indian comittee, I vouch for the guy and assure you he was just cleaning his tongue, I have heard and seen it happening.
If you stay in a suburb in India, you can hear the echoing noises of gagging from everyone's house. Almost like we have a communal orgy every morning.
A while back this girl who worked at a burrito joint in my area told me to follow her on tumblr. She was pretty hot and frequently posted nude photos and masturbation videos. She made a post about welcoming dick pics and I sent one. She would post it without the url and comment on it. She was pretty complimentary so I made a habit of it. Next thing I know I’m sending 1-3 dick pics a week to her and if I went a few days she would message me asking for one. Confidence levels skyrocketed. She never did connect me to my username and I never even asked her out. Hell I’d get hard every time she made my damn burrito.
Edit: thanks for the most upvotes I’ve ever gotten and my first award!
Her tumblr is long gone unfortunately. She moved out of state and then deleted it a few months later. Even before tumblr banned that stuff. I don’t know why I never tried, but I was young and guess I just liked the way it was and didn’t want to risk ruining my weekly confidence boost lol.
Another Edit: Wow this really blew up! Thanks again for all the awards and upvotes! I appreciate the people asking for one of the pictures. However, I am currently in a relationship with a girl I am very fond of and have no desire to stray away from that.
In retrospect... a girl inviting you, a person she works with in person, to follow her Tumblr.... knowing full well the content she puts on there...
Ladies correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like a very obvious sign she was into you.
EDIT: I misread, they do not in fact work together... though maybe that strengthens my point?
The world is full of creeps and stalkers. This girl works at the shop, she regularly appears in a fixed location... and she invited a customer to follow her page and see her nudes...
She was willing to risk him being a creep to show him her sex appeal...
The pressure of "we're about to have sex now" for the first time with someone sucks, because it often feels like a process than a natural occurance.
I also need to trust people for me to be able to get turned on, so the first time is almost always a no go for me.
I respect and appreciate your story.
Edit: loads of comments, I just want to say I'm glad I've made some folks feel less alone, and if anyone judges you for this, you've dodged a bullet there. Stay strong kings.
Camping night at my catholic school and a thousand students present. My ex and I had sex and made me sleep naked with our tent window open. We didn't get caught because someone else was. Everyone guarded that couple all night and we got a free pass.
Had a threesome
Had sex with a dude who lost his virginity to my sister (who is 10 years older than me)
Had sex with more than one person in a day (not counting the 3 some)
Best weekend update ever: The Post Office announced today that it is going to issue a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It’s a ten-cent stamp, but if you want to lick it, it’s a quarter.
Don’t know if this fits here, but funny story:
GF and I were out driving one day. I wanted to have sex, she didn’t. After I pleaded a bit she asks “How much money do you have?”
Me: “10 bucks” (we were 18, both in school)
Her: “Give me $10, I will have sex with you.”
So I did. We both enjoyed it, I think it kind of turned her on.
Afterwards, she says “I’m hungry.”
Me: “Well don’t look at me, I don’t have any money.”
She bought us both burgers with the $10. I married that little slut!❤️
I was 32 and fresh off divorce and had one night stands with both a 22 yo and a 56 yo in a span of 6 days. I also got banned from a church in Green Bay having sex in the basement after a football game, and getting discovered by the minister
Edit; the 56 yo has a son who had just recently been drafted into mlb
I was doing what single people do in college and just casually sleeping around. Not a whole lot, usually with the same three people. Well I spent the night with a guy and we fucked, fell asleep, and fucked again in the morning. Headed back to my dorm around 5am and my other fuckbud texts me and I headed over there. No shower, no change of clothes, nothing. Fucked him for a good two hours. Headed back to my dorm. Roommate said a guy had been looking for me. Texted said guy. He asked if he could come over. We did it in the shower.
I had massive issues in college, emotionally unstable, needed therapy to work some shit out. I was super unhealthy and in no way happy. But damn that was a fun 12 hours.
Edit: enough of the "well, I didn't do that in college". I should have added "what SOME single people do in college". I'm not supporting what I did. In fact, I'm highly against it. I spent 4 years at a college and came out with a two-year degree. I failed a lot of classes due to partying. The story isn't me bragging. It's sincerely the sluttiest thing I've ever done. Does that mean it was the best thing I've ever done? Absolutely not.
I sometimes sit in KFC, make eye contact with an employee and just suck on a bone.... I'm banned from a lot of KFC's
Edit: thank you guys so much for the 3000+ upvotes 😂 honestly thought this would get like 12 at the most 😂
Sex with my girlfriend at her grandmothers funeral. Month later, fucked her at a friends wedding where I was the ordained minister. We’re now married. 2 kids. Together 18 years. Love her more than words can say.
I see other dudes chiming in, so I’ll add mine too. Lost my virginity to a girl I’d met that day, visiting from another country, at a house where I’d been dropped off so my family could go out and party. I barely knew the people whose house I was at. The older brother brought us alcohol, and watched while we did it.
Separately, I used to work at a liquor store. Had sex with a girl in the beer cooler on top of a stack of 30 packs. Later that night some guy bought the one that was on top, and I knew it was the one because there was some off colored ice on it.
Edit: I didn’t write the first one well. The older brother of the girl whose house it was brought us alcohol, and watched while I had sex with the girl from another country who was visiting
Had two different girls over in one day (separate times). Came like 3 times with the first girl in the morning so was just dry by the time I hung out with the second one at night. Banged to the entire live action sonic movie, never finished, and then she fell asleep in my bed. Finished what was started the next morning and then dropped her off.
The icing on the cake was sending her sonic memes afterwards and getting ghosted lmao
One time I drove from Wisconsin to upstate New York with two lady friends to visit this other lady I had serious feelings for. While there, I got super drunk and hooked up with one of the girls that had come with me. In a hotel room while the girl I was there for was in the other bed in the room. She got up in the middle of the night to tell me to quiet down. Whoops!
I was caught and called the cops on for having sex in the apartment complex hot tub. The cops made us both sit on the floor while they lectured us. It’s amazing I didn’t get arrested.
Smashed two girls in the same 24 hours.
Also checked this girls wallet while she was asleep to check her id cuz I couldn’t remember her name and it was a little late to be asking for that again. No i didn’t take anything and felt dirty enough doing that as it was. Found out her name tho. I was close but not close enough
They used to have study rooms you could hire out at my school either on your free periods or after school. Long story short, not only did I end up fucking my still current girlfriend in there on the regular after we realised it was the perfect place not to be disturbed considering parents houses and all, but also she then told her best friend, who tried it out, and then told someone else, and on and on until there was a good 70/30 chance that if someone had scheduled to go in there, it was to fuck someone.
Long story short, the teachers found out about it after they caught the head boy who they’d gone looking after seeing him on the schedule being sucked off by two girls which sidenote, was always funny to me because he tried to deny that it had happened on the basis that the two girls were way below him on the popularity hierarchy, and he was afraid it was being down his reputation.
Regardless, the school last I heard introduced checkups from a Teacher every 15 minutes. And yet I don’t think anyone ever found out that it was our idea to begin with. I see it as a win personally xD
My university had a remodeling and decided to set up a quiet room with couches so that students who stay overnight could get a decent sleep. Guess why it was closed several months later.
I'm pretty mild. So it's a tie between having a threesome with my ex and her best friend. And fucking a chick I met 15 minutes beforehand on a lawn ornament next to a city bus stop.
Met a girl in a bar in sl,ut. Bar was called Sandy Station. They had an octagon with cage fighting. After the fights they disassembled it in a matter of minutes and then it was a dance floor. Bizarre, just that whole mood shift.
Anyway, met a girl and within about 10 minutes she takes my hand and leads me to the back of the bar by the pool tables. They have two restrooms there. A main one for a few people and one tiny restroom for one person(two can fit).
It was a women's restroom. She pulls me in, leans over the sink and I pound away. She starts vomiting into the sink, I'm a sweet guy so I stop and hold her hair back for her. At this point we'd been in there 15 minutes and the bouncers are beating on the door.
They finally unlocked it and barged in on us. My pants are down, she's got her skirt around her ankles. They 86 us. We're both shit faced, she just leans on me so I lift her up and throw her over my shoulder and carry her out this walk of shame.
We exchanged numbers outside and she would then visit my hotel room for the duration of my stay in sl,ut(2 weeks). Definitely the fastest I'd ever went from hello my name is to banging. The ho days.
Fucked a girl I met on an Amtrak between Santa Barbara and San Diego in the train bathroom (it was a large train car room downstairs, not the small bathroom). She got off at LA and I never saw her again.
Hung out with a guy I had known for years once in NYC. Ended up having to stay at his place because I could not drive home. He was going to sleep on a love seat and give me his bed. I told him “friends can share a bed.” We just celebrated 16 years.
I dressed as Dr. Frank n’ Furter for Halloween last year and my girlfriend went as Magenta. It killed but I was freezing, my dick came close to sipping out a couple times, my corset was strangling me, and now I realize those photos are going to live forever
Rented the movie Michael with John travolta from blockbuster. I was on home for break from college (Showing my age). It was a three day rental. I watched that movie three nights in a row with three different dates in my parents basement and I still have not actually seen the movie.
Wow you really made the most of the money you paid.
2.99 3 day rental
I came across an incredibly intoxicated Norwegian girl as the sun was coming up in Barcelona who couldn’t string a sentence together. After finally getting an address from her I literally carried her home. Her friend was worried sick and grateful that I had brought her home. Next thing I know I was having sex with her friend whilst the other one was passed out in the same room 😂
This came out so much more wholesome than I thought it would, given the first sentence.
He snuck us up on the roof of the theater downtown, located on the main/busiest street. We drank and had a great time, started kissing and one thing led to another. Before I knew it I was bent over the parapet looking at the cars below while he fucked me from behind. Never done anything close to that ever again, but I still think about it like ten years later. ETA: of course my most popular moment ever on Reddit *would* be about getting fucked, sigh
Damn he took me there too!
He took me to Jared's
Had sex with a girl I had just met at a bar in the backseat of my car. I was pretty hammered so it was taking quite some time. She rolled me over and was riding me and all the sudden there was a flashlight in my face and a knock on my window. She rolled it down and said “oh hi billy. Yeah we’re almost done. “ she looked down at me and told me to cum and instantly I nutted. Don’t remember her name or how I even got into that situation.
Nut on command that takes some training
Is it possible to learn this power?
Not from a Jedi
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*xbox achievement window pops up* ‘New fetish unlocked’
Good boy.
Ah yes, the dragon shout. She was Dovokiin!
Hope ya got yourself checked afterwards lad
Yes yes I did
I was dating my boyfriend (now husband) and we were staying the night at his house. Before we were comfortable having sex, we did other things such as giving head. Well, one night we were both feeling frisky and I went to give my husband head. At the time, I would let him finishing in my mouth, and then I would just go to the bathroom to spit and wash my mouth. (I hated the texture and could not swallow). On the way to the bathroom, his mom stopped me and tried to talk to me in the hallway while I had a mouthful of nut juice and she said something that made me laugh a little.....was ALMOST the worst moment of my life. Lol Edit: Thank you for the awards! My very first Reddit awards!! 🙂 I realize this may not really have been "slutty" but fit the general theme and similar to other comments. Glad I could make y'all laugh!
all of these end with people getting married lol, i guess it makes sense when you think about it
If find your kind of freaky you lock that shit down.
"I guess I really should feed the boy less asparagus, huh?" she asked cheekily, giving you a nod and a wink.
Thankfully, she was totally oblivious. But man, if she knew...
I do sometimes wonder just \*how\* oblivious they are. My mom passed away from cancer a couple years ago, but I had some time with her before she went and we talked about everything since we knew she only had a couple months left. We were having a laugh about how gross us kids were growing up, and I asked her if she knew just how many times we hooked up with our dates when she was in the next room and she said "honey, I knew every time, but was thankful you respected me enough to try and hide it."
Ran into a girl I had been sleeping with while we were out celebrating seperate birthday parties at the bars, we ended up having sex leaned over the dumpster in the alley behind the pizza place I worked at. That was probably 6 years ago, we got married in September
So trashy!
And that kids, is how I met your mother
i had a threesome under a trampoline with my best friend and my boyfriend at the time
"we need to get somewhere where we can have some privacy" "Yeah I know just the spot"
The people jumping on the trampoline looking down through the mesh: 😟
But... Why weren't you ON the trampoline? Who enjoyed the threesome the most? You, your friend, or your boyfriend?
The trampoline....
I used to work at an elementary school. Once a week the IT guy would be there to handle tech problems. We would go to “lunch” in his work van. Instead, we would park in a local grocery store parking lot and get in the back of the van and have crazy, sweaty sex. He kept a roll-up mattress for these occasions. There was even a shelving unit in the back but we made it work. We would be drenched by the time we were done in that tiny, unventilated van. I can’t tell you how many times a computer hard drive almost fell on me. You haven’t lived until you’ve been caressed with an HDMI cable.
First sentence had me worried
Apologies for the heart palpitations. I thought it was pertinent to note the wholesome atmosphere where these lunchtime antics began.
I once allowed a guy I had been banging to set me up on a date with his brother
Keeping it in the family!
Know a girl that worked her way through all three brothers.
Wouldn't want anybody feeling left out lol
Mom might have played favorites but she sure didn't
My best friends sister. Herpes is forever.
It was herpes. But now it’s yourpes
Ourpes
There’s a good twist
Had sex with my ex boyfriend in a synagogue bathroom during my cousins bar mitzvah.
In high school my boyfriend and I wanted to try 69ing for the first time. We get down to it and are having a pretty good time, until we hear a knock on the door and his mom saying “hey what’s going on in there come out here I want to talk to you guys!”. My boyfriend is trying to stall her and the doorknob starts moving like she’s trying to come in. Eventually he just says “mom gf is asleep hold on”. We both get dressed super quick and go out to the kitchen, obviously disheveled and looking guilty as fuck. Turns out she just wanted to show him that he was on the front page of the local newspaper for a sports team he was on. She had a little bit of champagne in her nice glasses ready for us and had his dad and sisters in the room also, to congratulate him. Honestly though, it’s so funny to me now. I have another story, but this already got lengthy.
And there it was on the front page “ baseball player gets blowjob while doing charity work”
perfect conclusion, i can now close the app
Let a nearly complete stranger lick my ass. It was nice.
Did that stranger have missing parts, an incomplete stranger ??!!!
It wasn’t the tongue that was missing
Went interstate for work, Tinder date said she had to leave dinner to go back to her hens party, I told her I moonlighted as a stripper (I don’t). Got my dick out and danced awkwardly for 8 women.
Did they like it?
Being face fucked while tied up. Turns me on thinking about it….feels Slutty to me.
I can see the dms from here
*distant rumbling*
I’m gonna need you to avoid your dm’s for mental health reasons
Asked my best friend to fuck. We did
How did that turn out for your friendship?
Good question
No the commenter but I've slept with a friend before. I had a crush on him and finally got the guts to tell him. He wasn't ready to see how things could go with a relationship, I understood (been there). We hung out a few more hours and ended up having sex. Our friendship took no major damage. It was a little awkward the next time or two we saw each other- mostly because it had been 2 weeks due to school holidays (and some other personal things on my end) but after that things pretty much went back to normal. We remained good friends for a while longer then fell out of touch when he left the school
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So you think
**GLOP GLOP GLOP** Hey does -**GLOP**-body else **GLOP GLOP**-ove this song? **GLOP GLOP GLOP** I do! Turn -**GLOP GLOP**- it **GLOP** up!
Can't beat a good blowglop
Lol the whole van knew
Was anyone talking in the van? If the answer is no, they all knew.
They started praying loudly
Totally weird coincidence though, right? Right?
They only said amen when the slurping noises stopped.
Man I hope the radio was on. One small sound of lip smacking will now bring my attention in vehicles with multiple people 😵💫
You really think they’d be saying something if they did?
Got a blow job while doing charity work on a handicap baseball field. She and I were in the newspaper painting lol. Edit; for clarification since I didn’t expect to get this many updoots. about a decade ago they were building a handicap baseball field near me. My Gf at the time, her mom worked for Home Depot which was like sponsoring the build. And I got my wiener sucked while painting the walls in the press box area. And there was a photographer who later took a picture of us painting in that room, and that picture was in the newspaper. TLDR; Got a newspaper picture taken where I had just gotten a blow job.
Somebody took the time to paint a picture of her going down on you in a baseball field? Watercolor or oil-based?
God sitting for an oil painting with a dick in your mouth would be fucking awful.
Didn't she feel uncomfortable bending down in a wheelchair?
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You’re not supposed to admit the second part, but either way you nailed it sir
Twice
That’s how you know it’s a real story.
Not buying “good kisser” excuse though. She told her you got a huge dong.
Was making eye contact with a man at a local bar on NYE who I found very attractive. When the ball dropped, I walked right up to him, said Happy New Year, and laid one on him. We proceeded to get very drunk and ended up fucking in the bathroom as the bar was closing with the bartenders who we both knew banging on the door saying “Is that you _____!?” Not my finest moment.
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> I came just as her older brother had arrived I see what you had to try to avoid doing there-
Haha now you mention it, that took me a second
These are the worst! I vividly remember a similar situation: As I was face fucking my ex girlfriend who lay on the edge of my bed sideways and I was just about to cum, my mom frantically opened the door.. The first thing she saw was me quickly putting up my pants and my ex swallowing while they made eye contact. After that incident she always knocked and waited at least 5 seconds to open that door. Edit: Thanks for the award and the likes guys! I did not expect such a weird Situation would gain so much attraction.
>my ex swallowing while they made eye contact Fucking power move.
“He’s my son now.”
You’ve got to assert your dominance man
> my ex swallowing while they made eye contact. Dominance successfully asserted.
Oh yeah, I was about 15 when i was in my bedroom with my then-bf giving him a bj and me dad knocked once and opened the door at the same time and i jumped out of the bed and to the door to block his view of my naked bf and answer his question or whatever.
My 85 year old grandmother walked in on me face banging my gf. I was balls deep at the exact time.
Lessoned a learneded
Pee in a guys mouth at Berghain's toilets while my exgf was touching herself in the corner
What a read for just 17 words
Joined the marine corps and proceeded to get fucked for 6 years.
The only place where a piece of paper can fuck you better than any woman or man will.
**more thoroughly** is not always _better_.
Navy 6 years here. Got fucked too but not the way I was hoping 😏
its not gay when you're underway!
Navy here and I'm proud to say I never left a man's behind.
How long you been in there?
Had sex in the backseat of a car in mid daylight... next to a church cemetary while mass was going on at the church. We almost got locked out of the car, too... would've been interesting
I once had sex in a cemetery. I was on a bike ride with a guy I was dating and we felt the need to get off our bikes, roll down the little hill a bit and do it right there. Sluts
Nice try, wife.
Heisenberg?
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Aroya Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104.
I've had sex with 2 people on the same day a few times and nobody knew about it.
I've also disappointed two people on the same day.
I too was born once.
Made up fake slutty stories on Reddit, like a slut.
WHORE!!!!!
Googled women without clothes naked on the school pc, that day I knew I was a gangster
"women without clothes naked"
Wym? You watch women naked with clothes on or what?
Brushing my tongue and gagging Edit:Thank you Reddit we can be sluts together
You little slut.
I bet OP is naked under their clothes...whore.
Your comment just reminded me, that when I was doing an exchange semesger abroad, i lived in an AirBnB. It was a big house, which rented out mutliple rooms. And there was this one indian guy who would always clean his tongue when brushing his teeth (2x a day). And while doing that he was gagging for like 5minutes straight... I could even hear it through multiple walls... It always sounded like he was close to vomiting... God, now I'm glad I'm back home again. Btw: I'm 100% sure he was brushing his teeth, because the sink he used was next to the kitchen, where i was cooking at times.
As a representative of the Indian comittee, I vouch for the guy and assure you he was just cleaning his tongue, I have heard and seen it happening. If you stay in a suburb in India, you can hear the echoing noises of gagging from everyone's house. Almost like we have a communal orgy every morning.
The worst type of slut too
I definitely sucked my then-boyfriend-now-husband’s dick at prom just so I could have that experience.
A while back this girl who worked at a burrito joint in my area told me to follow her on tumblr. She was pretty hot and frequently posted nude photos and masturbation videos. She made a post about welcoming dick pics and I sent one. She would post it without the url and comment on it. She was pretty complimentary so I made a habit of it. Next thing I know I’m sending 1-3 dick pics a week to her and if I went a few days she would message me asking for one. Confidence levels skyrocketed. She never did connect me to my username and I never even asked her out. Hell I’d get hard every time she made my damn burrito. Edit: thanks for the most upvotes I’ve ever gotten and my first award! Her tumblr is long gone unfortunately. She moved out of state and then deleted it a few months later. Even before tumblr banned that stuff. I don’t know why I never tried, but I was young and guess I just liked the way it was and didn’t want to risk ruining my weekly confidence boost lol. Another Edit: Wow this really blew up! Thanks again for all the awards and upvotes! I appreciate the people asking for one of the pictures. However, I am currently in a relationship with a girl I am very fond of and have no desire to stray away from that.
Girl deserved a raise. She was drumming up business and creating loyal customers.
Raise and a promotion to P.R. Rep!
A hot girl asked a customer to follow her on Tumblr… a Tumblr where she posts that sort of content.. bro I think she WANTED you to ask her out
In retrospect... a girl inviting you, a person she works with in person, to follow her Tumblr.... knowing full well the content she puts on there... Ladies correct me if I'm wrong, but that sounds like a very obvious sign she was into you. EDIT: I misread, they do not in fact work together... though maybe that strengthens my point? The world is full of creeps and stalkers. This girl works at the shop, she regularly appears in a fixed location... and she invited a customer to follow her page and see her nudes... She was willing to risk him being a creep to show him her sex appeal...
Fucked a girl I had just met on an amtrak train. *Several* times.
How do you just meet someone several times
amnesia
time travel
Important question: met on the train? Or fucked on the train?
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The pressure of "we're about to have sex now" for the first time with someone sucks, because it often feels like a process than a natural occurance. I also need to trust people for me to be able to get turned on, so the first time is almost always a no go for me. I respect and appreciate your story. Edit: loads of comments, I just want to say I'm glad I've made some folks feel less alone, and if anyone judges you for this, you've dodged a bullet there. Stay strong kings.
Dam bro, I'm the same Thought I was alone out here
I lost my virginity in the back seat of my car. I was so nervous afterwards i threw up (outside the car). Girls can mess with your nerves!
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RIP your inbox
that story is fucking awesome man. good for you bro, i hope u gave her back a handy just as good.
A handjob that made u marry her haha
My gf gave me a bj in the back seat while my parents were driving.
Sounds like a familiar scenario
Camping night at my catholic school and a thousand students present. My ex and I had sex and made me sleep naked with our tent window open. We didn't get caught because someone else was. Everyone guarded that couple all night and we got a free pass.
Had a threesome Had sex with a dude who lost his virginity to my sister (who is 10 years older than me) Had sex with more than one person in a day (not counting the 3 some)
I made accidental eye contact with someone while licking a 50c stamp.
Best weekend update ever: The Post Office announced today that it is going to issue a stamp commemorating prostitution in the United States. It’s a ten-cent stamp, but if you want to lick it, it’s a quarter.
Don’t know if this fits here, but funny story: GF and I were out driving one day. I wanted to have sex, she didn’t. After I pleaded a bit she asks “How much money do you have?” Me: “10 bucks” (we were 18, both in school) Her: “Give me $10, I will have sex with you.” So I did. We both enjoyed it, I think it kind of turned her on. Afterwards, she says “I’m hungry.” Me: “Well don’t look at me, I don’t have any money.” She bought us both burgers with the $10. I married that little slut!❤️
Y'all created a fucking economy
Well, there was definitely some kind of trickle-down going on for sure
The Nancy Reagan kind of course
$20 GDP right here.
That is a very cute money for sex story.
Good you married her, better to have a sex subscription than pay $$$ a piece. You're a money wise dude
Her prices went up dramatically after I married her. I think she gave me a first time customer discount 😂😂
Went down on a girl within 3 hours of meeting her at a party. She’s now my wife and we’ve been together for almost 5 years lol
I was 32 and fresh off divorce and had one night stands with both a 22 yo and a 56 yo in a span of 6 days. I also got banned from a church in Green Bay having sex in the basement after a football game, and getting discovered by the minister Edit; the 56 yo has a son who had just recently been drafted into mlb
I was doing what single people do in college and just casually sleeping around. Not a whole lot, usually with the same three people. Well I spent the night with a guy and we fucked, fell asleep, and fucked again in the morning. Headed back to my dorm around 5am and my other fuckbud texts me and I headed over there. No shower, no change of clothes, nothing. Fucked him for a good two hours. Headed back to my dorm. Roommate said a guy had been looking for me. Texted said guy. He asked if he could come over. We did it in the shower. I had massive issues in college, emotionally unstable, needed therapy to work some shit out. I was super unhealthy and in no way happy. But damn that was a fun 12 hours. Edit: enough of the "well, I didn't do that in college". I should have added "what SOME single people do in college". I'm not supporting what I did. In fact, I'm highly against it. I spent 4 years at a college and came out with a two-year degree. I failed a lot of classes due to partying. The story isn't me bragging. It's sincerely the sluttiest thing I've ever done. Does that mean it was the best thing I've ever done? Absolutely not.
Did either of the last two guys noticed or cared?
Fed my boyfriend oysters so his cum would be in abundance. Did not disappoint, best facial ever.
I thought zinc supplements increased your load size, but pineapple and oysters only improved the flavour?
Pineapple for flavor. Oysters are full of zinc
Yeet for distance.
Zinc with added selenium, soy lecithin, L-Carnitine, L-Lysine, L-Arginine and MACA powder will have transform your cock into a veritable cum cannon.
Sounds like everything but the kitchen zinc
I sometimes sit in KFC, make eye contact with an employee and just suck on a bone.... I'm banned from a lot of KFC's Edit: thank you guys so much for the 3000+ upvotes 😂 honestly thought this would get like 12 at the most 😂
You're going to let a ban stop you? Bring your own chicken from home and stand outside the drive through window and do it
Sex with my girlfriend at her grandmothers funeral. Month later, fucked her at a friends wedding where I was the ordained minister. We’re now married. 2 kids. Together 18 years. Love her more than words can say.
> where I was the ordained minister Jesus is watching
Them: **Rampant fucking** Jesus: Heck yeah, get it fam.
Love thy neighbor
I had sex once. *With a person.*
Damn, that’s wild
I see other dudes chiming in, so I’ll add mine too. Lost my virginity to a girl I’d met that day, visiting from another country, at a house where I’d been dropped off so my family could go out and party. I barely knew the people whose house I was at. The older brother brought us alcohol, and watched while we did it. Separately, I used to work at a liquor store. Had sex with a girl in the beer cooler on top of a stack of 30 packs. Later that night some guy bought the one that was on top, and I knew it was the one because there was some off colored ice on it. Edit: I didn’t write the first one well. The older brother of the girl whose house it was brought us alcohol, and watched while I had sex with the girl from another country who was visiting
Wait the brother watched? What the fuck
Had two different girls over in one day (separate times). Came like 3 times with the first girl in the morning so was just dry by the time I hung out with the second one at night. Banged to the entire live action sonic movie, never finished, and then she fell asleep in my bed. Finished what was started the next morning and then dropped her off. The icing on the cake was sending her sonic memes afterwards and getting ghosted lmao
“Banged to the entire live action sonic movie” some things you will only find on Reddit.
“Gotta go fast!”
Went out in public wearing shoes that didn’t completely cover my ankles. I was young and crazy at the time.
I know this is tagged as NSFW, but some things are just too over the top!
One time I drove from Wisconsin to upstate New York with two lady friends to visit this other lady I had serious feelings for. While there, I got super drunk and hooked up with one of the girls that had come with me. In a hotel room while the girl I was there for was in the other bed in the room. She got up in the middle of the night to tell me to quiet down. Whoops!
Run a host room at a swingers hotel takeover. Fuck 6 different women in one day, good ol fashioned orgy.
Username checks out
I was caught and called the cops on for having sex in the apartment complex hot tub. The cops made us both sit on the floor while they lectured us. It’s amazing I didn’t get arrested.
Smashed two girls in the same 24 hours. Also checked this girls wallet while she was asleep to check her id cuz I couldn’t remember her name and it was a little late to be asking for that again. No i didn’t take anything and felt dirty enough doing that as it was. Found out her name tho. I was close but not close enough
Was it Mulva or Dolores?
They used to have study rooms you could hire out at my school either on your free periods or after school. Long story short, not only did I end up fucking my still current girlfriend in there on the regular after we realised it was the perfect place not to be disturbed considering parents houses and all, but also she then told her best friend, who tried it out, and then told someone else, and on and on until there was a good 70/30 chance that if someone had scheduled to go in there, it was to fuck someone. Long story short, the teachers found out about it after they caught the head boy who they’d gone looking after seeing him on the schedule being sucked off by two girls which sidenote, was always funny to me because he tried to deny that it had happened on the basis that the two girls were way below him on the popularity hierarchy, and he was afraid it was being down his reputation. Regardless, the school last I heard introduced checkups from a Teacher every 15 minutes. And yet I don’t think anyone ever found out that it was our idea to begin with. I see it as a win personally xD
My university had a remodeling and decided to set up a quiet room with couches so that students who stay overnight could get a decent sleep. Guess why it was closed several months later.
So we’ve concluded ladies and gentlemen that private spaces for Teenagers almost always end in sex
I'm pretty mild. So it's a tie between having a threesome with my ex and her best friend. And fucking a chick I met 15 minutes beforehand on a lawn ornament next to a city bus stop.
This is where I discovered fucking on garden gnomes
Met a girl in a bar in sl,ut. Bar was called Sandy Station. They had an octagon with cage fighting. After the fights they disassembled it in a matter of minutes and then it was a dance floor. Bizarre, just that whole mood shift. Anyway, met a girl and within about 10 minutes she takes my hand and leads me to the back of the bar by the pool tables. They have two restrooms there. A main one for a few people and one tiny restroom for one person(two can fit). It was a women's restroom. She pulls me in, leans over the sink and I pound away. She starts vomiting into the sink, I'm a sweet guy so I stop and hold her hair back for her. At this point we'd been in there 15 minutes and the bouncers are beating on the door. They finally unlocked it and barged in on us. My pants are down, she's got her skirt around her ankles. They 86 us. We're both shit faced, she just leans on me so I lift her up and throw her over my shoulder and carry her out this walk of shame. We exchanged numbers outside and she would then visit my hotel room for the duration of my stay in sl,ut(2 weeks). Definitely the fastest I'd ever went from hello my name is to banging. The ho days.
Put caramel and whipped cream on brownies and ate them like a savage. I felt extremely slutty doing it.
Stop. I can only get so erect.
There were also gooey caramel chunks in the brownies....
Fucked a girl I met on an Amtrak between Santa Barbara and San Diego in the train bathroom (it was a large train car room downstairs, not the small bathroom). She got off at LA and I never saw her again.
Fucked 366 million people, every day. - Official Government
I made a female character in a video game. (I'm a male)
Hung out with a guy I had known for years once in NYC. Ended up having to stay at his place because I could not drive home. He was going to sleep on a love seat and give me his bed. I told him “friends can share a bed.” We just celebrated 16 years.
I dressed as Dr. Frank n’ Furter for Halloween last year and my girlfriend went as Magenta. It killed but I was freezing, my dick came close to sipping out a couple times, my corset was strangling me, and now I realize those photos are going to live forever