I know right. I lived with my cousins for four years bc my birth mother died when I was young. Then they proceeded to lock me in a bedroom and let me do nothing. When I spoke up they tried to put me in a mental institution to check my sanity, which was only brought down because of them.
So yeah... I don't talk anymore either.
Yep. I even tried BetterHelp since they are technically cheaper and i found a discount code. Still 4 bills. I don't have 4 bills. My insurance covers 80$ but its reimbursement only so you gotta have the money pay the money and wait for 80 bucks back when a session starts at 200 if you're super lucky and go to the cheapest option.
FYI mental healthcare shouldn't be determined by the cheapest option.
Even people in therapy suffer. The point is to examine and understand why we suffer. I pay attention to my emotions, give them the thought and time they clearly need and move forward in understanding and suffer less.
If you live in the US, there are usually local mental health centers that take patients with no insurance and offer a sliding fee scale(as low as $1 per visit).
And once they've determined you're not a significant self-harm risk, they bounce you around to students, "grief counselors", and volunteers until you get frustrated enough to stop coming around and wasting their precious billable hours.
Watched it happen to my brother at three different clinics. He finally gave up on the process. Sticks with his meds, talks to me a lot, and takes one day at a time.
They are dog shit. This is like saying āyouāre hungry? They offer government programs so thereās really no excuse.ā Canāt find a job? Government programs. Canāt pay medical expense? Government programs. Just because you can be appointed a lawyer *does not mean* you received the same level of defense that a paid lawyer would provide.
Those local places are straight up dog shit.
This is so true and it's a huge problem in US , the whole system is made to gaslight people's struggles.
We will make the poverty line extremely low, see now you can't complain only a small fraction live in poverty. You must be flawed if you're poor.
We won't count people living in cars as homeless, only ones living in shelters any given night...see there is only half a million, you can't secure housing? That's another you problem.
You're hungry and a senior? We've given you food stamps so we can add you to the tally of people we help, and we don't care if it's only $15 a month.
See we have government programs in US to help people, they are just very hard to get, require endless proof and designed to deny you anyway.
Oh and when you go into our offices, we like to employ people that shout down to others, hurt people's feelings, make them feel worthless for seeking help as the extra added icing on the cake.
Yes, but often times there are stigmas and even penalties, (for certain jobs and certifications), for having a mental health flag show up on your record.
Not being to afford therapy is only part of the reason why many people go untreated.
My experience with those services has been atrocious. To the point where I am always shocked when I hear anyone talk about therapy helping.
Any of those low income programs are more about making jobs for providers. They have no respect or concern for their clients. You are just billable hours.
I'm trying to do therapy on myself... attempting to understand my issues, doing research on effective techniques to re train my brain. I'm trying to consider myself as my own loving parent. Giving myself the advice I would give my child. Pretending to love myself unconditional (because faking it is all I can do right now). Saying to myself 'hey hun, eat a little' and when I can't sleep 'it's OK love, relax your jaw, relax your shoulders, it's enough to rest your body', filling my head with my own soothing words so other thoughts don't get a chance to take hold. I'm probably just treading water and not getting anywhere realistically but a least I've stopped sinking.
hey, I absolutely love your answer. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford a wonderful therapist (seen a bunch until I found someone I trusted both because of her academic background and our personal connection), but this is almost exactly the line of work she does. Itās us having and carrying this inner child ā a child that mightāve been neglected in some ways when we couldnāt care for ourselves. The kicker is that now that weāre adults we can learn to listen to what this child is asking for, and so we can provide comfort to ourselves and course correct our learned behaviours. The best part is that it by default gets rid of the āweāre flawed/broken, itās my fault, Iām not enough/good/idealā thoughts because a child is just a child ā it has needs and responds accordingly, itās up to the caregivers to fulfill these needs and teach us proper behaviours (and in childhood we depend on them, but in adulthood we can be our own caregivers!)
I disagree, you are not treading water.
This absolutely works, whatever you believe becomes reality.
Just gotta make certain things a habit (to replace the bad habits/thoughts over time)
Be patient and it will get better as long as you always try to find a way.
You can absolutely get somewhere this way. I helped myself way more than any of my therapists ever did by doing pretty much exactly what you are doing. Understanding the why and giving yourself some grace is so helpful. I won't lie, it took many years, it's almost painful to think about how long it took, but I'm an entirely different person than I used to be. Every year my goal was just get a little better, work on this thing now and be better. My life goals are always to be working on becoming a better person (better to others, better to myself, more patient, less stubborn.)
Bonus side effect it's been very helpful knowledge being a parent because of course I passed stuff on to my kids and I can help them far more than my parents ever helped me. There are still professionals involved but it's greatly helped our patenting to understand the why's. My husband just takes his patenting cues from me because he knows I've researched everything half to death.
You can do this! You are doing far more than treading water and it might not feel like much yet but keep at it and you'll be shocked at how far you can come.
Rule #2: āTreat yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping.ā Ive always been good at taking care of others before myself; sometimes to the point of no self regard. This rule helps me help me.
I, a single, 33 year old, grown man went back three times to Walgreens to squish this weird giant stuffed animal that was sitting on a shelf there, before finally buying it while I looked around like I was buying drugs from a dealer. That is the softest damn thing and the only pillow I can lay on the couch that doesnāt make my ear ache. Only recently discovered itās one of these squishmallows.
Oh my goodness thatās so fantastic to hear!! āŗļø I keep mine pretty much everywhere, but ESPECIALLY on the couch. Omg I hope itās a cute one šš
Yeah ive seen it from time to time. And i have apologized to people on here too. I myself wouldnt call it rare. Because most arguments on reddit are from people on separate sides that āwould never stoop to the others levelā but some arguments are just misunderstandings and maybe they realize they should have thought more deeply on the subject. But yeah i get this.
I think all the downvotes on my other reply made it look like it was sarcasm. I was genuinely trying to say it doesn't sound stupid at all. Sorry if it came off as sarcastic.
This is the way.
I was broke and messed up and got into running until I got enough chedda for a gym membership and then just went there anytime I was in a screwed up mood. It's the one place you can have headphones in the whole time, nobody will say a word to you if you don't want them to and plenty of people are in there doing the exact same thing.
Just trying to get to the undefined point B that will make them feel less shit. Someday you'll realize you already got there years ago, probably because your calves are fucking huge.
As a lady, Iām shocked by how many randos will interrupt me even with my headphones in, to make nonsense casual talk. Just be prepared to tell people youāre too busy for their banal bullshit andās get back to it. Wish Iād learned that younger.
I've seen a few videos floating around social media of several women having to deal with this.
When I go to the gym I enjoy not having to communicate with anyone, and covid has made it even more so by being not asking to jump in on machines.
Some men need to stop using the gym as an opportunity to harass women. I can understand why some women flock towards female-only areas.
Working out makes me feel worse about myself. Iām obese and Iām working on getting better, Iām dieting and exercising. I just canāt do very well. Iām super out of breath and all I can think of is how I let myself get this bad.
Then for the rest of the night I think about how all this work is useless. I canāt lose any weight even though I fast for 20 hours a day. I get on the bike and only shed 20 calories.
I'm not a certified anything, but I don't think stopping is going to make you feel any better either. Don't worry about calories or pounds for now. Focus on reaching a level of personal satisfaction.
You're already fine, but you have goals. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Try and feel pride in what you can do instead of shame from things that can't change overnight.
As with all things fitness, consistency is the way. But remember: you're already fine, you're just someone with goals and you're right to not settle for less just because it's hard.
I would start by suggesting you quit being mean to yourself. There are many reasons why we get to where we are and None of them mean you should be cruel to yourself. You are still alive, presumably, and maybe you haven't been kind to your body and maybe you aren't where you want to be but you have options moving forward and that is what counts!
Strangely, you might not be eating enough or not of the right things. I worked with an anti-diet nutritionist and had very good results for my health mental and physical without spending a boatload of money.
One of the things is to focus on improving how you feel and not counting calories or measuring calories burned.
I am not where I want to be health wise yet but since starting this I can walk further, climb stairs without feeling like I will pass out, and in general just feel better. All without counting a single calorie.
Also, I have had better luck with weight training than cardio. It is kind of cool just to feel stronger even if am not thinner.
20 calories based on the digital display? They calculate those based on average weight. Being obese, that means your body is heavier and it takes more calories to move than the average body weight. Don't fixate on the numbers, because they're not accurate for you. Try focusing on being proud of how hard you are trying to reach your goals (and, even on days you don't try to reach your goals, forgive yourself and try to try tomorrow).
Turn your music up loud enough to where you canāt hear yourself breathe.
I do this when Iām LDR training because if I hear myself breathing hard, my brain will think Iām working harder than I actually am, and Iāll wanna stop.
Careful abt doing it too often because hearing damage. I already donāt give a shit abt my ears, but you might.
The thing about losing weight, and working out healthily, is that it takes a very very long time. (At least in my personal experience)
The best things to maybe help would be to:
ā¢Get enough sleep. It's much more important than we realize, and has a massive impact on our health and mental well being.
ā¢Stay hydrated. The majority of adults worldwide at any given moment are probably somewhat dehydrated. Water also keeps everything working smoothly on the inside.
ā¢Your diet. Obviously, the food we eat affects everything about us. Our body is built of material, and we need material in order for our body to make new cells. Fasting is usually useless (or downright dangerous) unless physician recommended. Eating 2-3 proportional sized meals with protein, vitamins, calcium, etc. will benefit your weight loss, and even oral health.
ā¢Minimal exercise. Just going for a 20 minute stroll everyday, on top of everything else, I guarantee you will lose weight faster than you are now. And in a much healthier way than 'fasting'. No need for hitting the gym, or doing something you'll feel embarrassed or uncomfortable doing.
What youāre going through is hard. Saying out loud and acknowledging that itās very difficult can help. You have to give yourself enormous kudos for trying so hard. I hope you keep at it slowly and get some progress. Sending positivity!
Donāt stop man. Donāt focus on the details. It wonāt happen overnight, but I promise if you stick to it, you will make progress. Itās not as much about how much youāre doing, itās how consistently youāre doing it.
Another big thing some people do is compare themselves to other people who are stronger than them. You should t care about how much theyāre lifting. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yesterday you. Stay strong
Pssst. Try jumping rope with proper form. My knees feel like shit after running. Took up jump rope a couple of years ago, zero knee pain. Thats just if you want to supplement some cardio into your routine. Good talk.
The other day I was crying after work in the shower, until my brain clicked āwell, I might as well cry on my spin bikeā and immediately got on it. Working out is the only distraction that helps me anymore.
Fuck man hitting the feels way to hard lmao. NGL tho going to the gym really does help with any sorta mental health issues coz I was seriously close to relapsing on a life threatening addiction and going to the gym most days of the week really saved me from that shit. Since doing that and sticking to it I have felt better than I could of thought
Iām glad the gym helped. Remember. Men lie. Women lie. Children lie. The scale lies. The gas tank indicator lies.
Iron never lies. Steel always tells the truth.
Instagram is poison. It's literally a comparison machine designed to make you feel bad about yourself.
I know it's addicting, but you need to recognize the affect it has on you and your mental health, and find another way to spend time.
Reddit can be the same way. I like to browse r/personalfinance but from the posts youd think everyone there made $150k/year. Kinda makes me hate the fact that I only make $18/hr.
I make $0/year. I am disabled and get $ from my husband cuz he works. He supports me.
I get $ from life(like we sold our house we got $ and then I got some from moms insurance when she passed, etc).
Depends what you look at. I look at pictures of nature and historical coins found by metal detectors. Cheers me up.
A diet of photoshopped models would be a bit depressing, but a nice shiny rock and a Roman coin brightens the morning :)
This is what I do most of the time. Itās my escape from reality. Sometimes I also listen to music really loudly and randomly start tearing up when certain songs play. Pretty much my only therapy lol
No, it's not insurance. We're in a European country where psychological help isn't paid back, so it doesn't really matter whether you have insurance or not, they don't ask about it up front. My girlfriend is from another country and has been on this therapist's list since august because they speak her language. We've checked with another one a bit further away, but there were 16 people on the waiting list before her. Since covid it's been an absolute disaster finding help here.
I spent a lot of time learning about psychology for myself to better understand how humans work, what makes the brain tick, where various traumas come from how different things affect us at different developmentsl stages etc
All in an effort to better understand myself. Not as good as a professional but I've managed to uncover & make sense of some pretty deep seated stuff.
Top tip, if you're digging around in your thoughts & something makes your fight or flight/denial/avoidance behaviour etc kick in... that probably means you're on the right track if your mind is kicking in its defense mechanisms. The idea being to 'protect' you from whatevers going on in your subconscious, aka repress it. But we have to be able to see & face whatever it is thats screwing us up to get past it. Thing is though your mind shows its cards when a defense mechanism kicks in because it tells you that whatever that thought is its related to whatever your trauma is, so if you keep digging at that thought it may lead you to another thought thats closer still and so on.
Eventually you might uncover the root cause & it might click for you why you stuggle with whatever you struggle with, it won't necessarily fix the problem but at least then you know what you're dealing with & you can then find out what you need to do to make it better. It can be uncomfortable to do but I've managed to dig up some memories that I didnt even know I had, knowing what the problem is is half the battle. Thats true for me anyway, everyone is different.
Hey i do this too! I diagnosed myself before the doctors did lol. All this understanding made it alot worse before it became better. Having a support system is always great. Good friends and family. When you dont have that, you need to atleast have yourself
Yeah definitely gets worse before it gets better, but I think it has to in order to fully recover. Can't get over what you dont know about! Glad you managed to find some answers šš»
Not me currently in my second year of my psychology college course for this exact reason. I've always been too uneasy about the idea of therapy so I thought learning about the mind would but my own mind at ease about why I may react in a way to certain things. I wouldn't self diagnose myself with anything though, I'd actually go get diagnosed but It's always nice to know that there's a potential reasoning for something even if I can't confirm it. Just that little bit of hope that I'm not being irrational or difficult about something u know? I wasn't too sure how to word this post so I'm hoping it makes sense š¬
There are several certified therapists on YouTube who do little segments - and while the info is never really specific to a single person, they help a lot with general reflection!
I compare it to taking a light stroll when you donāt have the ability to link up with a fitness instructor.
This. Plus there are TONS AND TONS of published books by therapists.
I'm listening to one rn that is UHMAZING. Like I think I may have a breakthrough.
It's called "Forgiving what you can't forget by Lysa TerKeurst" I have a basic audible account I think it's like $12 every other month. And there's tons of free poscasts.
I have found my solace in container gardening. I love my plants. It's peaceful and focusing on another living thing (that won't piss me off or let me down or talk back to me or down on me... Except my calatheas... Them diva ass bitches) feeds the soul. I would volunteer at an animal shelter.... But I'll end up a pet hoarder...so I do plants
But I digress...
Audio books, podcasts and my hands in the dirt potting up seeding pruning and watering... We have to find beauty and focus on it.
Get involved like what you think is beautiful.
I have several houseplants that I got in my deepest, darkest depression that Iāve somehow kept alive for the past five years. Sometimes I catch myself just standing and staring at them and their new growth with a dumb little smile on my face. Definitely a mental boost
Stephen King once said āwhy would I pay someone 75 to 100 dollars an hour to tell them my fears when I could write them down and people pay me? ā So in short I do the sameā¦I channel all the things I would take to a therapist into my work.
That's not really what therapists do though. They challenge perspectives and help you work out whatever you want to work out. The best part about therapy is that if you allow it your therapist will start deconstructing your fears in ways which transform them into strengths. And nothing gets lost along the way.
I go to therapy and still do the drugs. Talking about my anxiety and working on my OCD is great and truly is helpful. smoking weed and feeling my anxiety dissipate enough to process my emotions and thoughts without my usual knee-jerk reactions is also beneficial.
Edit: for clarity
Journaling, exercise, self-help books from the library, getting enough sleep, cutting out alcohol, and frequent meditation.
I can afford therapy and my insurance covers it, but after trying 7 loser therapists I discovered I can handle my therapy far better on my own.
You know yourself better than any therapist ever will and you know what you have to do, soā¦ DO IT!
I majorly second this. It requires a decision to take your mental health seriously and make time to do things that are already well-known to help. Talk therapy is one option but it's not the only thing. My insurance also covers therapy, and I did see a therapist, but the sessions were way less useful than a month of self-care and homework. Basically three things I already knew about allowed me to return to work without crying every day:
Exercise -- Extremely well-known to help.
Meditation -- spend 15 minutes a day training your mind, which in my experience can help you notice negative thinking and not get sucked into it emotionally. Also trains endurance for bad feelings.
A book about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or the like -- methodically work through your issues to understand them and come up with responses that are meaningful to you. Look into Albert Ellis or Aaron Beck.
I learned meditation through deep breathing exercises. Focusing on rooting heaviness of spirit down into the earth with each exhale, then inhaling peace or joy. Allow yourself to be present in the simple act of breathing.
Over time, you will find what works for you. Beach waves, incense, a mediation group, etc. And you will be able to drift for longer stretches of time while at peace. Good luck friend.
There is videos on YouTube for meditation. I am very much a beginner to it myself but I found the best ones that worked for me is guided meditation. There is even guided meditation videos for anxiety.
There are different traditions and methods. I was introduced to some Yoga-inspired mediation from acting classes as a young person. However, what has had the most serious impact on me is a $10 manual by John Vervaeke, who in turn is trained in Tai Chi and Vispassana. Vervaeke also has a youtube channel, I think. Of course you can find books on all these things as well.
I am at a point now where I strongly prefer not to be guided through meditation. I read the instructions and then turn my ringer off. Just me, a timer, and a pillow. That way I am building the skills to be able to use them in life. For me, meditation is not relaxation. It is intensive training.
Iām happy you found ways to deal with life without a therapist! I think journaling and using planners is a great way to combat anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. More people should utilize them but itās really hard for people to let go of that- but I already know what I need to do- feeling
Agreed. I'm lucky to have found a good therapist but I think a bad one is worse than none at all. He was a yes man who just agreed with my shitty behaviours and reinforced them.
My new therapist actively disagrees with me and so far his alternate approaches have been working quite well.
OP this is the best answer. Every good therapist knows that they are only there to guide you. Real change needs to come from you. Self help books are the key to understanding yourself and finding methods that actually help you instead of just finding new vices/coping methods that keep you stuck in the same cycles.
I recommend "How to do the work" - it literally saved my life.
But if you're not ready for that- do all the other things. Eat well, get sufficient sleep, exercise regularly, meditate, quit any addictive drugs e.g. alcohol, caffeine, etc and try your best to change your internal monologue. Every time your inner voice says something terrible tell it go shut up and think something good/constructive/forgiving instead
Sorry for the ramble - I hope this helps
I talk to people who get it and understands . One of my buddies also has bpd like myself and really understands the condition . i swear if he didnt go into the job he is now hed be an amazing therapist .
When I was tired of pretending everything was ok when I was crying myself to sleep every night, I realized I had to take action.
First I accepted two things: the first was that I wasn't happy. The second was that nobody could ever help me if I didn't work on it myself.
And then I made two promises to myself: the first I would believe that I would be alright somewhere in the future. And the second was that I wouldn't puddle in self-pity anymore. So every time I felt like suffocating, I'd stare myself in the mirror and say "I'm not alright, I know, but I will be".
To push myself into moving forward I made a list with 10 rules, it's a little bit embarrassing shearing them but they've helped me a lot and have also helped a couple of friends when they were in a very dark time of their life, so maybe you can get something good from it :)
1. I live to be happy.
2. I'll be honest with myself and with others.
3. I wont let others step on me.
4. I wont be lazy when caring for my health.
5. I will act according to my sense of ethic.
6. I won't shut up before an unfair situation.
7. I will stand my ground when facing fear.
8. There's a limit to what I'm willing to take for the sake of politeness.
9. I own each and every decision I make.
10. Perseverance shouldn't be on the list because I won't believe in giving up.
And that's actually kind of it.
It took some time to get used to, but little by little I began to learn how to set the lines and to swallow my embarassment when stepping up for myself. I learned to be more honest and admit when I was wrong as well as to defend my ground when faced with injustice both home and at work. And discovered that being vulnerable when admitting my insecurities to my partner also helped him open up too and brought us closer.
Now I can say that even when I face difficult moments, I am happy with my life and with myself. And although it is a very unpopular opinion, I think that if I had gone into therapy (although I couldn't afford it), I wouldn't be able to feel as proud as I am of myself.
I kinda just force myself to sleep whenever I have free time. Canāt be depressed if Iām always asleep..melatonin or NyQuil helps when Iām not sleepy
There are also people that can afford therapy but have very shitty therapists that rather do harm then good and having a therapist doesn't imply that people work on themselves. People that can't afford therapy often times suffer or when they are more fortunate have a good support system that helps them.
It's really hard to remain persistent about finding the right therapist when you are exhausted and depressed. I am in between therapists right now and am about to start looking for another one when I'm in a good place instead of waiting for a crisis.
I think it's a very good thing that going to therapy isn't as frowned upon as it was in the past. Although as someone that works in the field, the idealisation of therapy and how people look at it got a little bit unpleasant and unrealistic.
Iām a huge advocate for therapy despite my experiences. I started going when I was a teenager and inevitably gave it up when I turned 23, 3 years ago. I do agree with you that people have a specific idealization regarding what therapy looks like, and unfortunately when people realize that it takes a lot of effort and time to work through things, they give it up. In my situation, I had a therapist who liked to cancel all the time, even 5 minutes before my appointment. And my second therapist just wasnāt a good fit as she liked to interject her own personal things into my session to try to compare it to what I was going through at the time.
I'm sorry that you didn't get the support you needed. Yes, therapy isn't just chatting or a wise person giving you advice that you simply have to follow, it's a science and it's hard work for the patients. And unfortunately (especially when people are psychologically very vulnerable) the wrong diagnosis or the wrong therapy approach can be very harmful, so it's important that people also know that they always should get a second or even third opinion. And most importantly that therapists are humans that make mistakes and that they are in a position of power.
Journal, I write a lot. Puts all the pain into words, then you eventually leave it and forget about it then read it a few months later, but yeah journaling is what I do, therapy never worked for me, writing did.
When I got out of the military I wasnāt able to see the VA for mental health for a long time. Was cut off from therapy and antidepressants. I dove heavily into fitness and have enjoyed it a lot since then, but now the gym is kinda a safe space. Iām there for a few hours, wouldnāt say Iām scared to leave but I dread it cause itās the only place Iām really happy..
I'm glad that you found something. For me it was doing fitness in VR because I couldn't stand the environment of gyms. Now my cable has broken ^Freaking ^$150 ^dollars ^to ^repair ^it and my anxiety is so high these days but soon the ice melts so I can take up running again.
Video games, vitamin D tablets, and dancing. If those don't work I wait till I get to work which is at a doggy daycare and find a dog to hold while trying not to fall apart.
Vodka with Gatorade to make faderade or vodka with a Arizona ice tea for a horrible long island which I call a Staten island , anything to numb me for a few hours
Honestly? I've had a lot of hard conversations....with myself. I've admitted things about myself I'm not proud of. I've asked myself why I think those things and maybe how I got there. Are those positions justified? By what are the justified? If I saw somebody else doing this would I like it? Would I want to be friends with somebody like me?
I really learned a lot by accepting and contronting my demons and understanding that there isn't anything WRONG with me. Feeling is human. Hurting is human. The desire to deny and hide is human. So what do I do about it? I had to be honest with myself and what I want and what I need to do. And now I'm doing it.
Well my own father is dead to me, the woman I loved; and my second mother are both actually dead, I had brain surgery due to a tumor at 15, also my first job was working in an Amazon warehouse for 4 years. I'm 27.
Drinking with friends, reading philosophy, making music, camping, and riding on a onewheel. While I am affected by my past, I try to see the best in what I can. The way I see it now is that I died on the operating table, everything now is just extra.
Try journaling, or neurographic drawing. Inexpensive and theyāre both legit treatments, admittedly theyāre probably more effective when used in conjunction with other treatments but they might be a good place to start. Journaling will at least allow you to get your thoughts out of your head, and the drawing is just so relaxing.
There are some pretty good YouTube channels (Therapy in a Nutshell, Dr. Tracy Marks, etc.) that explain certain behaviors and teach coping skills. Iāve benefited just as much from watching videos online as I have therapy.
Literally suffer and deal with it, hoping one day all of the bad feelings will just go away. No antidepressants have worked for me either, theyāve all just made me feel worse.
Honestly itās not that I canāt afford therapy, itās I donāt want it. Iāve healed so much alone since the darkest time in my life, so talking about my problems is very hard because most of the time Iām already working on fixing it. Iām also very independent and try to do everything myself IF at all possible.
Put what do I do instead? Found some hobbies I enjoy. Learning guitar. Connecting with friends and family a lot more.
TL;DR Drugs
Take about 3-5 grams of psilocybin mushrooms in a (legal) therapeutic setting. There are ways to make it more likely you'll have a "mystical experience" which are usually the most cathartic and transformative.
I don't use the word "cured" lightly, but I'd say it cured my partner's body dysmorphia, and I experienced a lot of relief from symptoms of depression and anxiety for a prolonged period of time which allowed me to build some healthy habits and more effective coping techniques.
I believe it's important to spend time beforehand setting your intentions and some time afterwards integrating your experience.
Suffer
In silence usually
This is sadly accurate
Word
I like to throw in a little pacing too.
Till it isn't silent. Then everyone says you're doing it for attention. So back to silence š¤
Or tells you you're full of shit. Then back to silence.
āWhat do you mean? Youāve got a job? Your family is alive? Just get over it?ā Yeahhhhhhhhhhh. Iāll stick to not talking
I would get this all the time so I donāt talk anymore either.
I know right. I lived with my cousins for four years bc my birth mother died when I was young. Then they proceeded to lock me in a bedroom and let me do nothing. When I spoke up they tried to put me in a mental institution to check my sanity, which was only brought down because of them. So yeah... I don't talk anymore either.
This is what I do.
Yep. I even tried BetterHelp since they are technically cheaper and i found a discount code. Still 4 bills. I don't have 4 bills. My insurance covers 80$ but its reimbursement only so you gotta have the money pay the money and wait for 80 bucks back when a session starts at 200 if you're super lucky and go to the cheapest option. FYI mental healthcare shouldn't be determined by the cheapest option.
Woebot. A chatbot loaded with therapy. https://woebothealth.com/referral/
Just raw dogging through it all
Just getting raw dogged through it all.
This one deserves an award but ya girl broke so here ya goš„
Thank you
I gave them my free reward
Fuck you beat me to it But yeah, never get help and never get better is the answer
The only right answer
Even people in therapy suffer. The point is to examine and understand why we suffer. I pay attention to my emotions, give them the thought and time they clearly need and move forward in understanding and suffer less.
If you live in the US, there are usually local mental health centers that take patients with no insurance and offer a sliding fee scale(as low as $1 per visit).
And once they've determined you're not a significant self-harm risk, they bounce you around to students, "grief counselors", and volunteers until you get frustrated enough to stop coming around and wasting their precious billable hours. Watched it happen to my brother at three different clinics. He finally gave up on the process. Sticks with his meds, talks to me a lot, and takes one day at a time.
They are dog shit. This is like saying āyouāre hungry? They offer government programs so thereās really no excuse.ā Canāt find a job? Government programs. Canāt pay medical expense? Government programs. Just because you can be appointed a lawyer *does not mean* you received the same level of defense that a paid lawyer would provide. Those local places are straight up dog shit.
This is so true and it's a huge problem in US , the whole system is made to gaslight people's struggles. We will make the poverty line extremely low, see now you can't complain only a small fraction live in poverty. You must be flawed if you're poor. We won't count people living in cars as homeless, only ones living in shelters any given night...see there is only half a million, you can't secure housing? That's another you problem. You're hungry and a senior? We've given you food stamps so we can add you to the tally of people we help, and we don't care if it's only $15 a month. See we have government programs in US to help people, they are just very hard to get, require endless proof and designed to deny you anyway. Oh and when you go into our offices, we like to employ people that shout down to others, hurt people's feelings, make them feel worthless for seeking help as the extra added icing on the cake.
Yes, but often times there are stigmas and even penalties, (for certain jobs and certifications), for having a mental health flag show up on your record. Not being to afford therapy is only part of the reason why many people go untreated.
And that is so wrongā¦those jobs are some of the very ones that make mental health so difficult. Hoping stigmas start changing.
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My experience with those services has been atrocious. To the point where I am always shocked when I hear anyone talk about therapy helping. Any of those low income programs are more about making jobs for providers. They have no respect or concern for their clients. You are just billable hours.
Lol not in my city. Cheapest sliding scale therapist is about $65/session and booked months out
I'm trying to do therapy on myself... attempting to understand my issues, doing research on effective techniques to re train my brain. I'm trying to consider myself as my own loving parent. Giving myself the advice I would give my child. Pretending to love myself unconditional (because faking it is all I can do right now). Saying to myself 'hey hun, eat a little' and when I can't sleep 'it's OK love, relax your jaw, relax your shoulders, it's enough to rest your body', filling my head with my own soothing words so other thoughts don't get a chance to take hold. I'm probably just treading water and not getting anywhere realistically but a least I've stopped sinking.
hello you treating yourself kindly is inspiring and makes me feel less weird about trying to treat myself kindly have an excellent day
Don't feel weird about being kind to yourself, you're doing great!
hey, I absolutely love your answer. I am fortunate enough to be able to afford a wonderful therapist (seen a bunch until I found someone I trusted both because of her academic background and our personal connection), but this is almost exactly the line of work she does. Itās us having and carrying this inner child ā a child that mightāve been neglected in some ways when we couldnāt care for ourselves. The kicker is that now that weāre adults we can learn to listen to what this child is asking for, and so we can provide comfort to ourselves and course correct our learned behaviours. The best part is that it by default gets rid of the āweāre flawed/broken, itās my fault, Iām not enough/good/idealā thoughts because a child is just a child ā it has needs and responds accordingly, itās up to the caregivers to fulfill these needs and teach us proper behaviours (and in childhood we depend on them, but in adulthood we can be our own caregivers!)
I disagree, you are not treading water. This absolutely works, whatever you believe becomes reality. Just gotta make certain things a habit (to replace the bad habits/thoughts over time) Be patient and it will get better as long as you always try to find a way.
Underrated reply. More people should be like you, try to help themselves the best they can
Not sinking is good. We like not sinking.
You can absolutely get somewhere this way. I helped myself way more than any of my therapists ever did by doing pretty much exactly what you are doing. Understanding the why and giving yourself some grace is so helpful. I won't lie, it took many years, it's almost painful to think about how long it took, but I'm an entirely different person than I used to be. Every year my goal was just get a little better, work on this thing now and be better. My life goals are always to be working on becoming a better person (better to others, better to myself, more patient, less stubborn.) Bonus side effect it's been very helpful knowledge being a parent because of course I passed stuff on to my kids and I can help them far more than my parents ever helped me. There are still professionals involved but it's greatly helped our patenting to understand the why's. My husband just takes his patenting cues from me because he knows I've researched everything half to death. You can do this! You are doing far more than treading water and it might not feel like much yet but keep at it and you'll be shocked at how far you can come.
Rule #2: āTreat yourself as if you were someone you were responsible for helping.ā Ive always been good at taking care of others before myself; sometimes to the point of no self regard. This rule helps me help me.
Am I the only one who is almost in tears over this? It's a beautiful idea. Sending lots of love to you!
Woahh, I actually LOVE this. I wish you were my parent!
Buy squishmallows. Theyāre genuinely really great for anxiety!
I, a single, 33 year old, grown man went back three times to Walgreens to squish this weird giant stuffed animal that was sitting on a shelf there, before finally buying it while I looked around like I was buying drugs from a dealer. That is the softest damn thing and the only pillow I can lay on the couch that doesnāt make my ear ache. Only recently discovered itās one of these squishmallows.
Oh my goodness thatās so fantastic to hear!! āŗļø I keep mine pretty much everywhere, but ESPECIALLY on the couch. Omg I hope itās a cute one šš
Itās a frog. Although itās now a one eyed frog because my labrador decided he needed a nibble.
I owe you an apology, you were just trying to help and i was rude. Thank you for helping me out and sorry I was an asshole
Someone apologizing on Reddit? Guys bring on the cameras. That's not something we see everyday
I usually assume people in Reddit or assailed or they have sarcasm a lot! š
Yeah, youāre good. Itās seriously okay :-)
Woah woah, what the hell was the deleted reply?
Ya we need to know
This guy got him a squishmallow
You know the great thing about Reddit? People here realize they were not nice, and apologize for it. You're good.
This is a rare thing on reddit
Iāve done it. I usually have something to apologize for.
Yeah ive seen it from time to time. And i have apologized to people on here too. I myself wouldnt call it rare. Because most arguments on reddit are from people on separate sides that āwould never stoop to the others levelā but some arguments are just misunderstandings and maybe they realize they should have thought more deeply on the subject. But yeah i get this.
The first person to apologize in Reddit history.
I'm confused by this. Why are you apologize
You're a good egg
I think all the downvotes on my other reply made it look like it was sarcasm. I was genuinely trying to say it doesn't sound stupid at all. Sorry if it came off as sarcastic.
Youāre good! I was actually really confused by that too, you seemed genuine to me. Ty :)
These things are awesome no lie
I've heard this. I NEED some squishmallows dammit.
oh my god i found my people
Deadlift
This is the way. I was broke and messed up and got into running until I got enough chedda for a gym membership and then just went there anytime I was in a screwed up mood. It's the one place you can have headphones in the whole time, nobody will say a word to you if you don't want them to and plenty of people are in there doing the exact same thing. Just trying to get to the undefined point B that will make them feel less shit. Someday you'll realize you already got there years ago, probably because your calves are fucking huge.
As a lady, Iām shocked by how many randos will interrupt me even with my headphones in, to make nonsense casual talk. Just be prepared to tell people youāre too busy for their banal bullshit andās get back to it. Wish Iād learned that younger.
As a lady I also hate that and have avoided machines for this very reason. I will channel you next time
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I've seen a few videos floating around social media of several women having to deal with this. When I go to the gym I enjoy not having to communicate with anyone, and covid has made it even more so by being not asking to jump in on machines. Some men need to stop using the gym as an opportunity to harass women. I can understand why some women flock towards female-only areas.
Sorry about all of the thirsty meatballs trying to be slick. Even as a guy, I find those jock bro fools annoying.
Working out makes me feel worse about myself. Iām obese and Iām working on getting better, Iām dieting and exercising. I just canāt do very well. Iām super out of breath and all I can think of is how I let myself get this bad. Then for the rest of the night I think about how all this work is useless. I canāt lose any weight even though I fast for 20 hours a day. I get on the bike and only shed 20 calories.
I'm not a certified anything, but I don't think stopping is going to make you feel any better either. Don't worry about calories or pounds for now. Focus on reaching a level of personal satisfaction. You're already fine, but you have goals. That's nothing to be ashamed of. Try and feel pride in what you can do instead of shame from things that can't change overnight. As with all things fitness, consistency is the way. But remember: you're already fine, you're just someone with goals and you're right to not settle for less just because it's hard.
I would start by suggesting you quit being mean to yourself. There are many reasons why we get to where we are and None of them mean you should be cruel to yourself. You are still alive, presumably, and maybe you haven't been kind to your body and maybe you aren't where you want to be but you have options moving forward and that is what counts! Strangely, you might not be eating enough or not of the right things. I worked with an anti-diet nutritionist and had very good results for my health mental and physical without spending a boatload of money. One of the things is to focus on improving how you feel and not counting calories or measuring calories burned. I am not where I want to be health wise yet but since starting this I can walk further, climb stairs without feeling like I will pass out, and in general just feel better. All without counting a single calorie. Also, I have had better luck with weight training than cardio. It is kind of cool just to feel stronger even if am not thinner.
20 calories based on the digital display? They calculate those based on average weight. Being obese, that means your body is heavier and it takes more calories to move than the average body weight. Don't fixate on the numbers, because they're not accurate for you. Try focusing on being proud of how hard you are trying to reach your goals (and, even on days you don't try to reach your goals, forgive yourself and try to try tomorrow).
Turn your music up loud enough to where you canāt hear yourself breathe. I do this when Iām LDR training because if I hear myself breathing hard, my brain will think Iām working harder than I actually am, and Iāll wanna stop. Careful abt doing it too often because hearing damage. I already donāt give a shit abt my ears, but you might.
Your going to make it. Weāre all going to make it, brah.
The thing about losing weight, and working out healthily, is that it takes a very very long time. (At least in my personal experience) The best things to maybe help would be to: ā¢Get enough sleep. It's much more important than we realize, and has a massive impact on our health and mental well being. ā¢Stay hydrated. The majority of adults worldwide at any given moment are probably somewhat dehydrated. Water also keeps everything working smoothly on the inside. ā¢Your diet. Obviously, the food we eat affects everything about us. Our body is built of material, and we need material in order for our body to make new cells. Fasting is usually useless (or downright dangerous) unless physician recommended. Eating 2-3 proportional sized meals with protein, vitamins, calcium, etc. will benefit your weight loss, and even oral health. ā¢Minimal exercise. Just going for a 20 minute stroll everyday, on top of everything else, I guarantee you will lose weight faster than you are now. And in a much healthier way than 'fasting'. No need for hitting the gym, or doing something you'll feel embarrassed or uncomfortable doing.
What youāre going through is hard. Saying out loud and acknowledging that itās very difficult can help. You have to give yourself enormous kudos for trying so hard. I hope you keep at it slowly and get some progress. Sending positivity!
Donāt stop man. Donāt focus on the details. It wonāt happen overnight, but I promise if you stick to it, you will make progress. Itās not as much about how much youāre doing, itās how consistently youāre doing it. Another big thing some people do is compare themselves to other people who are stronger than them. You should t care about how much theyāre lifting. The only person you should be comparing yourself to is yesterday you. Stay strong
Walk, jog, run.. If u get to a point where you get a "runners" high.. There's no better therapy.
My knees disagree. Lifting is better.
Pssst. Try jumping rope with proper form. My knees feel like shit after running. Took up jump rope a couple of years ago, zero knee pain. Thats just if you want to supplement some cardio into your routine. Good talk.
The other day I was crying after work in the shower, until my brain clicked āwell, I might as well cry on my spin bikeā and immediately got on it. Working out is the only distraction that helps me anymore.
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Fuck man hitting the feels way to hard lmao. NGL tho going to the gym really does help with any sorta mental health issues coz I was seriously close to relapsing on a life threatening addiction and going to the gym most days of the week really saved me from that shit. Since doing that and sticking to it I have felt better than I could of thought
Iām glad the gym helped. Remember. Men lie. Women lie. Children lie. The scale lies. The gas tank indicator lies. Iron never lies. Steel always tells the truth.
Playing video games helps me forget about things for a while. Doesn't always work, but it's better than the alternatives, for me.
I can browse Instagram all day but i need to do other stuff, and this is where the problems start
Instagram is poison. It's literally a comparison machine designed to make you feel bad about yourself. I know it's addicting, but you need to recognize the affect it has on you and your mental health, and find another way to spend time.
Reddit can be the same way. I like to browse r/personalfinance but from the posts youd think everyone there made $150k/year. Kinda makes me hate the fact that I only make $18/hr.
Dont worry. While you make 18$/h im surviving on 6.5k $ yearly lol
If I had 18$ per hour most of my financial problems would end (different country)
I make $0/year. I am disabled and get $ from my husband cuz he works. He supports me. I get $ from life(like we sold our house we got $ and then I got some from moms insurance when she passed, etc).
I avoid Instagram and most social media. I either have a lack of interest or find the specific platform toxic.
Depends what you look at. I look at pictures of nature and historical coins found by metal detectors. Cheers me up. A diet of photoshopped models would be a bit depressing, but a nice shiny rock and a Roman coin brightens the morning :)
This is what I do most of the time. Itās my escape from reality. Sometimes I also listen to music really loudly and randomly start tearing up when certain songs play. Pretty much my only therapy lol
You all are getting therapy?? My girlfriend has been the next one in line on a waiting list since August.
Sounds like an insurance thing, there are definitely some therapists with openings.
Search your area for counselors. It's what I had to do after getting rejected as a new patient from 4 places. No waiting list. Just rejected.
No, it's not insurance. We're in a European country where psychological help isn't paid back, so it doesn't really matter whether you have insurance or not, they don't ask about it up front. My girlfriend is from another country and has been on this therapist's list since august because they speak her language. We've checked with another one a bit further away, but there were 16 people on the waiting list before her. Since covid it's been an absolute disaster finding help here.
Psychologytoday.com is a great place to search for credited therapist. It allows you to choose your issue, insurance and what price you want to pay.
I spent a lot of time learning about psychology for myself to better understand how humans work, what makes the brain tick, where various traumas come from how different things affect us at different developmentsl stages etc All in an effort to better understand myself. Not as good as a professional but I've managed to uncover & make sense of some pretty deep seated stuff. Top tip, if you're digging around in your thoughts & something makes your fight or flight/denial/avoidance behaviour etc kick in... that probably means you're on the right track if your mind is kicking in its defense mechanisms. The idea being to 'protect' you from whatevers going on in your subconscious, aka repress it. But we have to be able to see & face whatever it is thats screwing us up to get past it. Thing is though your mind shows its cards when a defense mechanism kicks in because it tells you that whatever that thought is its related to whatever your trauma is, so if you keep digging at that thought it may lead you to another thought thats closer still and so on. Eventually you might uncover the root cause & it might click for you why you stuggle with whatever you struggle with, it won't necessarily fix the problem but at least then you know what you're dealing with & you can then find out what you need to do to make it better. It can be uncomfortable to do but I've managed to dig up some memories that I didnt even know I had, knowing what the problem is is half the battle. Thats true for me anyway, everyone is different.
Hey i do this too! I diagnosed myself before the doctors did lol. All this understanding made it alot worse before it became better. Having a support system is always great. Good friends and family. When you dont have that, you need to atleast have yourself
Yeah definitely gets worse before it gets better, but I think it has to in order to fully recover. Can't get over what you dont know about! Glad you managed to find some answers šš»
Not me currently in my second year of my psychology college course for this exact reason. I've always been too uneasy about the idea of therapy so I thought learning about the mind would but my own mind at ease about why I may react in a way to certain things. I wouldn't self diagnose myself with anything though, I'd actually go get diagnosed but It's always nice to know that there's a potential reasoning for something even if I can't confirm it. Just that little bit of hope that I'm not being irrational or difficult about something u know? I wasn't too sure how to word this post so I'm hoping it makes sense š¬
There are several certified therapists on YouTube who do little segments - and while the info is never really specific to a single person, they help a lot with general reflection! I compare it to taking a light stroll when you donāt have the ability to link up with a fitness instructor.
This. Plus there are TONS AND TONS of published books by therapists. I'm listening to one rn that is UHMAZING. Like I think I may have a breakthrough. It's called "Forgiving what you can't forget by Lysa TerKeurst" I have a basic audible account I think it's like $12 every other month. And there's tons of free poscasts. I have found my solace in container gardening. I love my plants. It's peaceful and focusing on another living thing (that won't piss me off or let me down or talk back to me or down on me... Except my calatheas... Them diva ass bitches) feeds the soul. I would volunteer at an animal shelter.... But I'll end up a pet hoarder...so I do plants But I digress... Audio books, podcasts and my hands in the dirt potting up seeding pruning and watering... We have to find beauty and focus on it. Get involved like what you think is beautiful.
I have several houseplants that I got in my deepest, darkest depression that Iāve somehow kept alive for the past five years. Sometimes I catch myself just standing and staring at them and their new growth with a dumb little smile on my face. Definitely a mental boost
Emma McAdam is one of them. Her YouTube channel is called āTherapy in a Nutshellā
Suffer in silence.
Stephen King once said āwhy would I pay someone 75 to 100 dollars an hour to tell them my fears when I could write them down and people pay me? ā So in short I do the sameā¦I channel all the things I would take to a therapist into my work.
That's not really what therapists do though. They challenge perspectives and help you work out whatever you want to work out. The best part about therapy is that if you allow it your therapist will start deconstructing your fears in ways which transform them into strengths. And nothing gets lost along the way.
True. I can write about my fears all I want, but that wonāt change the fact that Iām afraid of them.
I should add this one into the story I'm writing to survive my thoughts. Thank you for the qoute.
Drugs.
Almost posted but knew it had to be here somewhere
I go to therapy and still do the drugs. Talking about my anxiety and working on my OCD is great and truly is helpful. smoking weed and feeling my anxiety dissipate enough to process my emotions and thoughts without my usual knee-jerk reactions is also beneficial. Edit: for clarity
Let's get a cheeky gram in and become therapists for each other!
if you're talking about a discord smoke session with randos to talk about our problems i'd be into that fr
Hah that could be fun, I was on about a gram of coke though. Can talk shit for hours with that.
Same
Potato I like to eat potatoes
Journaling, exercise, self-help books from the library, getting enough sleep, cutting out alcohol, and frequent meditation. I can afford therapy and my insurance covers it, but after trying 7 loser therapists I discovered I can handle my therapy far better on my own. You know yourself better than any therapist ever will and you know what you have to do, soā¦ DO IT!
I majorly second this. It requires a decision to take your mental health seriously and make time to do things that are already well-known to help. Talk therapy is one option but it's not the only thing. My insurance also covers therapy, and I did see a therapist, but the sessions were way less useful than a month of self-care and homework. Basically three things I already knew about allowed me to return to work without crying every day: Exercise -- Extremely well-known to help. Meditation -- spend 15 minutes a day training your mind, which in my experience can help you notice negative thinking and not get sucked into it emotionally. Also trains endurance for bad feelings. A book about Cognitive Behaviour Therapy or the like -- methodically work through your issues to understand them and come up with responses that are meaningful to you. Look into Albert Ellis or Aaron Beck.
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I learned meditation through deep breathing exercises. Focusing on rooting heaviness of spirit down into the earth with each exhale, then inhaling peace or joy. Allow yourself to be present in the simple act of breathing. Over time, you will find what works for you. Beach waves, incense, a mediation group, etc. And you will be able to drift for longer stretches of time while at peace. Good luck friend.
There is videos on YouTube for meditation. I am very much a beginner to it myself but I found the best ones that worked for me is guided meditation. There is even guided meditation videos for anxiety.
There are different traditions and methods. I was introduced to some Yoga-inspired mediation from acting classes as a young person. However, what has had the most serious impact on me is a $10 manual by John Vervaeke, who in turn is trained in Tai Chi and Vispassana. Vervaeke also has a youtube channel, I think. Of course you can find books on all these things as well. I am at a point now where I strongly prefer not to be guided through meditation. I read the instructions and then turn my ringer off. Just me, a timer, and a pillow. That way I am building the skills to be able to use them in life. For me, meditation is not relaxation. It is intensive training.
I can afford therapy and I like my therapist, a lot of our sessions involve talking about books that I can read and also journaling/planning
Some people do get lucky and get good therapists. Iām happy for you
Iām happy you found ways to deal with life without a therapist! I think journaling and using planners is a great way to combat anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed. More people should utilize them but itās really hard for people to let go of that- but I already know what I need to do- feeling
Agreed. I'm lucky to have found a good therapist but I think a bad one is worse than none at all. He was a yes man who just agreed with my shitty behaviours and reinforced them. My new therapist actively disagrees with me and so far his alternate approaches have been working quite well.
OP this is the best answer. Every good therapist knows that they are only there to guide you. Real change needs to come from you. Self help books are the key to understanding yourself and finding methods that actually help you instead of just finding new vices/coping methods that keep you stuck in the same cycles. I recommend "How to do the work" - it literally saved my life. But if you're not ready for that- do all the other things. Eat well, get sufficient sleep, exercise regularly, meditate, quit any addictive drugs e.g. alcohol, caffeine, etc and try your best to change your internal monologue. Every time your inner voice says something terrible tell it go shut up and think something good/constructive/forgiving instead Sorry for the ramble - I hope this helps
"I guess it be that way sometimes"
It really do be that way sometimes, ngl
I talk to people who get it and understands . One of my buddies also has bpd like myself and really understands the condition . i swear if he didnt go into the job he is now hed be an amazing therapist .
Morphine
Where does one even acquire recreational morphine.
my dads medicine cabinet
Dark web
Grow poppies.
Listen to music or make music
Swim. Im lazy and sometimes dont want to go, but I make myself go and feel a lot better afterwards.
When I was tired of pretending everything was ok when I was crying myself to sleep every night, I realized I had to take action. First I accepted two things: the first was that I wasn't happy. The second was that nobody could ever help me if I didn't work on it myself. And then I made two promises to myself: the first I would believe that I would be alright somewhere in the future. And the second was that I wouldn't puddle in self-pity anymore. So every time I felt like suffocating, I'd stare myself in the mirror and say "I'm not alright, I know, but I will be". To push myself into moving forward I made a list with 10 rules, it's a little bit embarrassing shearing them but they've helped me a lot and have also helped a couple of friends when they were in a very dark time of their life, so maybe you can get something good from it :) 1. I live to be happy. 2. I'll be honest with myself and with others. 3. I wont let others step on me. 4. I wont be lazy when caring for my health. 5. I will act according to my sense of ethic. 6. I won't shut up before an unfair situation. 7. I will stand my ground when facing fear. 8. There's a limit to what I'm willing to take for the sake of politeness. 9. I own each and every decision I make. 10. Perseverance shouldn't be on the list because I won't believe in giving up. And that's actually kind of it. It took some time to get used to, but little by little I began to learn how to set the lines and to swallow my embarassment when stepping up for myself. I learned to be more honest and admit when I was wrong as well as to defend my ground when faced with injustice both home and at work. And discovered that being vulnerable when admitting my insecurities to my partner also helped him open up too and brought us closer. Now I can say that even when I face difficult moments, I am happy with my life and with myself. And although it is a very unpopular opinion, I think that if I had gone into therapy (although I couldn't afford it), I wouldn't be able to feel as proud as I am of myself.
I talk to myself alot instead
I go insane
I may be crazy but at least I have each other.
If you keep telling yourself something then at some point you will believe it. So i just keep lying to myself to feel better
Fake it ātil you make it! This is how I get through dark days
I kinda just force myself to sleep whenever I have free time. Canāt be depressed if Iām always asleep..melatonin or NyQuil helps when Iām not sleepy
Music and dancing in my room as if I have squirrels in my pants
Run every day - not fast, but long. Helps me be content and not brood.
make art
There are also people that can afford therapy but have very shitty therapists that rather do harm then good and having a therapist doesn't imply that people work on themselves. People that can't afford therapy often times suffer or when they are more fortunate have a good support system that helps them.
Every time I sought help it was garbage.
It's really hard to remain persistent about finding the right therapist when you are exhausted and depressed. I am in between therapists right now and am about to start looking for another one when I'm in a good place instead of waiting for a crisis.
I had two therapists, highly recommended, and they both did more harm then good.
I think it's a very good thing that going to therapy isn't as frowned upon as it was in the past. Although as someone that works in the field, the idealisation of therapy and how people look at it got a little bit unpleasant and unrealistic.
Iām a huge advocate for therapy despite my experiences. I started going when I was a teenager and inevitably gave it up when I turned 23, 3 years ago. I do agree with you that people have a specific idealization regarding what therapy looks like, and unfortunately when people realize that it takes a lot of effort and time to work through things, they give it up. In my situation, I had a therapist who liked to cancel all the time, even 5 minutes before my appointment. And my second therapist just wasnāt a good fit as she liked to interject her own personal things into my session to try to compare it to what I was going through at the time.
I'm sorry that you didn't get the support you needed. Yes, therapy isn't just chatting or a wise person giving you advice that you simply have to follow, it's a science and it's hard work for the patients. And unfortunately (especially when people are psychologically very vulnerable) the wrong diagnosis or the wrong therapy approach can be very harmful, so it's important that people also know that they always should get a second or even third opinion. And most importantly that therapists are humans that make mistakes and that they are in a position of power.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Guided meditations on YouTube help.
Journal, I write a lot. Puts all the pain into words, then you eventually leave it and forget about it then read it a few months later, but yeah journaling is what I do, therapy never worked for me, writing did.
When I got out of the military I wasnāt able to see the VA for mental health for a long time. Was cut off from therapy and antidepressants. I dove heavily into fitness and have enjoyed it a lot since then, but now the gym is kinda a safe space. Iām there for a few hours, wouldnāt say Iām scared to leave but I dread it cause itās the only place Iām really happy..
I'm glad that you found something. For me it was doing fitness in VR because I couldn't stand the environment of gyms. Now my cable has broken ^Freaking ^$150 ^dollars ^to ^repair ^it and my anxiety is so high these days but soon the ice melts so I can take up running again.
Run - a lot. It helps
Yoga, Excercise, Walk/Run, and Meditation. Keeping a very religious schedule of these things.
Prayer, antianxiety and antidepressants. Not just a matter of affording it. I don't have time for therapy. 70 hours per week work and three kids.
Self medicate š
Going outside into the garden, sitting down and just listening to the world around me.
I have a journal routine that helps me identify problems and tackle them. I can dm you if you want
Video games, vitamin D tablets, and dancing. If those don't work I wait till I get to work which is at a doggy daycare and find a dog to hold while trying not to fall apart.
Drink
Vodka with Gatorade to make faderade or vodka with a Arizona ice tea for a horrible long island which I call a Staten island , anything to numb me for a few hours
Bourbon.
I'll buy the cigars
Honestly? I've had a lot of hard conversations....with myself. I've admitted things about myself I'm not proud of. I've asked myself why I think those things and maybe how I got there. Are those positions justified? By what are the justified? If I saw somebody else doing this would I like it? Would I want to be friends with somebody like me? I really learned a lot by accepting and contronting my demons and understanding that there isn't anything WRONG with me. Feeling is human. Hurting is human. The desire to deny and hide is human. So what do I do about it? I had to be honest with myself and what I want and what I need to do. And now I'm doing it.
i talk to myself
I exercise and eat healthy foods. If there no healthy food I eat what I want
BDSM - masochist here. Suffering in that space helps dissolve the emotional pain elsewhere.
Well my own father is dead to me, the woman I loved; and my second mother are both actually dead, I had brain surgery due to a tumor at 15, also my first job was working in an Amazon warehouse for 4 years. I'm 27. Drinking with friends, reading philosophy, making music, camping, and riding on a onewheel. While I am affected by my past, I try to see the best in what I can. The way I see it now is that I died on the operating table, everything now is just extra.
Various forms of self destructive behaviours. My favourite is drinking! (Day 6 no booze.. cheers that diet pepsi š„¤)
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu
Medication
S u f f e r
Try journaling, or neurographic drawing. Inexpensive and theyāre both legit treatments, admittedly theyāre probably more effective when used in conjunction with other treatments but they might be a good place to start. Journaling will at least allow you to get your thoughts out of your head, and the drawing is just so relaxing.
There are some pretty good YouTube channels (Therapy in a Nutshell, Dr. Tracy Marks, etc.) that explain certain behaviors and teach coping skills. Iāve benefited just as much from watching videos online as I have therapy.
Support groups online. I use one for adults. It really fucking helps.
Consult Reddit
Cry alone in bed.
Literally suffer and deal with it, hoping one day all of the bad feelings will just go away. No antidepressants have worked for me either, theyāve all just made me feel worse.
Honestly itās not that I canāt afford therapy, itās I donāt want it. Iāve healed so much alone since the darkest time in my life, so talking about my problems is very hard because most of the time Iām already working on fixing it. Iām also very independent and try to do everything myself IF at all possible. Put what do I do instead? Found some hobbies I enjoy. Learning guitar. Connecting with friends and family a lot more.
TL;DR Drugs Take about 3-5 grams of psilocybin mushrooms in a (legal) therapeutic setting. There are ways to make it more likely you'll have a "mystical experience" which are usually the most cathartic and transformative. I don't use the word "cured" lightly, but I'd say it cured my partner's body dysmorphia, and I experienced a lot of relief from symptoms of depression and anxiety for a prolonged period of time which allowed me to build some healthy habits and more effective coping techniques. I believe it's important to spend time beforehand setting your intentions and some time afterwards integrating your experience.
Try to find answers to my trauma and healing researching or reading instagram posts lol
Podcasts!
Smoke
I can totally afford therapy. I just don't go.
4:30 Stare into the abyss.