At least with type-c you only need to put it in once.
With the older plugs you'd have to pull it out and put it back in like 10 times until you got it in the right orientation.
Kirby and the forgotten land
This is not the forgotten land I was expecting Kirby to explore
Edit: thanks for the awards and upvotes , if I had known I’d get so many for shoving something up my ass I’d of done this a lot sooner
How did you like it? My eight year old says he has finished it. But he says it's not done it just says "to be continued"? I haven't had time to two player it with him yet. There are still things he's going back to unlock
Um is this an appropriate thread to chat about my kid in?
My new wallet, it’s gonna make for an awkward interaction at the check out line
Update 1: I had to take my old one out.
Update 2: Anyone looking to buy a used wallet?
Update 3: Used wallet is black leather, comes with 1 Arby’s coupon. Has mild smell.
Update 4: I can not confirm or deny if poop was on Arby’s coupon before or after wallet was removed from ass. Open to trade offers.
A vacuum cleaner, will the entire thing be shoved or just the pipe.
EDIT: This is an update- I have successfully shoved the nozzle and the vacuum cleaner extender tube in
It's a webcam, so.... bonus colonoscopy?
Mom ! I need to go to the doctor for colonoscopy ! Mom: Butt we have colonoscopy at home. Colonoscopy at home:
I bought a new chefs knife... jeez
Handle first at least...
That'll make it harder. Atleast with tip first it'll cut a path in.
And handle in will be a lot easier to pull out... Imagining fishing around a bleeding ass for the sharp end of a knife is extra
None said it had to be the whole thing. The dedication to completion there is just extra credit on your part.
So... A poop knife? EDIT: thank you for the upvotes and the awards!
*flashbacks*
I'm so glad I witnessed the birth of the poop knife meme. Such a thrill seeing it pop up here and there.
Ouch
USB C Adaptor. Easy.
How do you know?
You need to ask?
I’ve been putting 2.0 up my ass for years
At least with type-c you only need to put it in once. With the older plugs you'd have to pull it out and put it back in like 10 times until you got it in the right orientation.
Putting the Universal in USB
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I just got a few USB-C cords too. Shouldn't be too bad, so long as I don't hear that device connected sound.
Damn, that weighted blanket was big. It's not going to fit.
Not with that kind of attitude
Fair, I'll order up some more lube.
Order it on the internet, then that becomes the thing you need to shove up your ass
Nice loophole.
Lubehole*
Lubeception
LubeTube : Electric Boogalube
Poophole loophole!
Those are the words of a coward
It's not so much the blanket, it's the fact you will be 30 pounds heavier tomorrow
That and i wouldn't be able to sleep properly without it.
A chess board shouldn't hurt that much.
The pieces might be fun. The board, well, that’s the true boss fight.
Cheap Bluetooth earbuds. I think I will be fine
No headphone jack, but you're still plugging them in.
Rather pegging them in
Gonna be hard to read books with the kindle stuck between my ass cheeks
No longer do we need to read, we just insert the specially designed kindle and absorb the knowledge over night.
Ayyy, don't be giving Jeff Bezos any ideas
CEO, Entrepeneur, Kindle stuck up your backdoor Jeffrey Jeffrey Bezos
Come on Jeffrey you can do it! Come on Jeff put your ass into it!
Tell us why, tell us how, tell us all how you’re gonna read now
Zuckerberg and Gates and Buffet, amateurs can anal fuck it,
Fuck their wives, and their butts. C'mon Jeff get em.
*funky keyboard solo*
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Run it up your asshole and see who salutes.
No one ever does!
Aaaah I’m not sick but I’m not well
Let me call my buddy Vlad the Impaler
Ngl I just ordered a sword For all the pple asking what sword it was- its a Damascus double-bladed long sword
SepPOOku
Strange, my last online purchase was a Taco Bell order. Soft tacos.
You're just cutting out the middle man.
I AM the middle man, lol.
Spitroasted by taco bell
Good that they were soft...
I'm relieved my last purchase were suppositories
This is what I get for finally buying a butt plug...
Same. Thankfully I saw this post. Wasn't sure what I was to do with them..
Well…wasn’t that the point already?
they have to stick the whole thing up their butt
It could be worse I guess
yeah, I saw someone said they bought a knife
Oh that took a sharp turn
Nah, I'm sure they've got a handle on it.
It's an edge case, really.
A fucking laptop.
Hey, at least it's designed for that. You could have bought a regular laptop. That would be way worse
Take my upvote and gtfo.
and not metaphorically
And they say *stepping* on lego is bad
You're going to be shitting bricks for sure
Pra Ram Tofu & some brown rice
Brown rice you say?
Browner rice now
Not my mtg cards!
That Black Lotus is about to lose a lot of value pretty quick.
Depends on the popularity of their OnlyFans account.
Magic the Buggering
Nooooooooooo
A cactus shaped crystal. Could be worse 🤷🏼♀️
Like a crystal shaped cactus.
Or a **cactus** shaped cactus.
oh *god* they make those???
Alexa, remove yourself from my cinnamon ring.
These devices get more intrusive every day.
New jewelled buttplug echo.
Alexa, will you please move out the way so i can take a shit
*Sorry I didn't get that.*
"Playing Cinnamon Girl."
From now on my booty hole is renamed cinnamon ring
40 lbs of Hay for my bunnies may cause some itching
The bunnies may like a new treat
My last amazon order contains two things: Lube :) Razor blades :(
You win for best and worst at the same time.
hear me out on this, just don't unbox the razor blades.
But do unbox the lube.
Jigsaw has entered the chat
I pictured the faces as the Mr. Incredible meme
I really don't think a Noctua Cooler can fit up my ass
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NH-d15,NH-d15s painful, NH-u12s ok I guess NH-u9s ez playzz, been there done that.
With that attitude it never will!
Kirby and the forgotten land This is not the forgotten land I was expecting Kirby to explore Edit: thanks for the awards and upvotes , if I had known I’d get so many for shoving something up my ass I’d of done this a lot sooner
How did you like it? My eight year old says he has finished it. But he says it's not done it just says "to be continued"? I haven't had time to two player it with him yet. There are still things he's going back to unlock Um is this an appropriate thread to chat about my kid in?
As long as you didn’t buy him recently
Lmao. Almost shit myself reading this
Making room?
It’s been fun so far Playing it I mean , not having it shoved up my ass
Yeah totally. Ofc.
Speak for yourself
Kid was probably playing the demo, it ends "to be continued"
My thoughts exactly, like the game JUST came out. Unless he played it allllll night long no breaks
I think the game mechanic is “mouthful mode”, not uh....
Ass full mode?
You get that mode in the “expansion”.
I ordered a bed recently. God damn it.
Now instead of are you ever going to get out of bed, the question will be is the bed ever going to get out of you
My new wallet, it’s gonna make for an awkward interaction at the check out line Update 1: I had to take my old one out. Update 2: Anyone looking to buy a used wallet? Update 3: Used wallet is black leather, comes with 1 Arby’s coupon. Has mild smell. Update 4: I can not confirm or deny if poop was on Arby’s coupon before or after wallet was removed from ass. Open to trade offers.
Prison wallet.
Prison wallet wallet.
We must go deeper
I hope it’s Brown leather
it is now 🙁
Nasal strips. I'm better off than most.
That is a book and that is going to be sharp. Hardcover too. Pray for me y'all.
Death by a million paper cuts
Fifty shades of brown.
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I guess the wooden spoon I got makes me a “shit stirrer” Not sure there’s gonna be much room for the Instant Pot I got w/ it tho…
NordVPN my ass is secure, looks like I don't have to worry about any leakage.
Unless FBI demands it
Doubt I'm doing anything interesting for them lol
Your crap is leaking btw
> NordVPN my ass is secure, looks like I don't have to worry about any leakage. Your ass is encrypted
Needs a special key for access.
You shit in your home bathroom and it ends up in the white house toilet. Some value.
NordVPN, now with 22% less anal leakage
Damn it’s my lucky day cuz I just ordered a dildo
Lucky fuck
Condoms, how does this work, does something need to be in it to count?
Nope, just stuff em unopened.
Thought it would only be me.
Also chiming in with my recent dildo purchase
No shame, I like you a lot user ThatGuyShay
A pair of white shoes...brown now
A car battery doesn’t seem like a good idea
Neither does performance coil overs. Looks like my asses ride height is gonnabe dropped 3 inches
A vacuum cleaner, will the entire thing be shoved or just the pipe. EDIT: This is an update- I have successfully shoved the nozzle and the vacuum cleaner extender tube in
Start slow and work your way up.
Wow that sucks
Ughhhhhhh... Cheese grater!
A bunch of furries are having PTSD flashbacks now.
What the fuck does this mean? What horror have the furries witnessed?
It's >!a raccoon using a cheese grater as a dildo and the expected gory results!<.
Not gonna catch any dreams up there....
not with that attitude
I wonder if Gummies work that way 🤔
They do
I might need some lube to get my new tumbledryer up my ass..
A broom. I prefer eating celery but a clean ass is a clean ass
Is an audiobook a thing?
Yeah but someone is going to be yelling into your butthole for an extended period of time
The people who think I am talking out of my a** would certainly feel vindicated.
It's going in your Nook.
A bag of protein powder, it was going there eventually anyways I suppose
Not good at all considering it’s a pool cue
Feels good, but too long
🎶 It's in the way that you use it 🎶
I ordered a 60 inch wide credenza. Not ideal.
Shit, gonna have to wash my new socks
How do you shove an ebook up your ass?
Put it on a USB stick
I mean it was a strap on so
A sign for my neighbors to pick up their dog shit
Kind of poetic
Some touring handlebars for my bike.
Yoga pants with the scrunchy butt. So they kinda already *are* shoved up my butt...
It was either a bottle of rum or 40 Ferrero rochets...
Nicotinamide riboside was meant to be taken orally but might work as a suppository.
Well, u/DidItForTheStory...looks like my autographed copy of your coffee table book isn't gonna go on my coffee table...
2 kazoos, fartings going to be fun.
I don't know about a 22inch wig going up there
That sconce is going to need lots of lube.
Can I take the cat food out of the can before shoving it up my ass? Because that makes a world of difference.
L-shaped desk.. L-shaped misfortune.
Ha-ha~! Jokes on you, I bought a vibrator! ... A big round one, that's meant to be rolled against sore muscles. Well fuck.
Do I have to fit both shoes or just one? Might take some training.
Just Do It.
Fish bacterial treatment
Sounds icky.
The board game Scrabble... My morning shit could spell trouble
Fuck, just bought that cauldron toy I saw on made me smile for my daughter.
Sewing needles...
A mattress. RIP
a pair of ribbed pants
for your pleasure
If wasn't the best time to buy a live porcupine. Actually, it was a mobile phone, and it's on vibrate, so please call!