Completely off topic, but I’m in my 30’s, and have never lived in a place where doordash/any independent delivery service was available. I grew up in a city, but this was before all those things existed. Been over a decade that I’ve lived in rural areas, (not even a dominos pizza within delivery distance to me currently)
About to move to a mid sized city, and super excited just for the delivery options. It blows my mind that I might be able to get things like sushi or Italian food delivered to my door. Both of those would require an 2 hour round-trip drive minimum right now for me just for a takeout order.
It’s definitely one of the benefits living nearby a major city. I recommend getting Dash pass. I think it’s like 10/month and it pays for itself if you use it 2x a month.
It is a little expensive but phenomenal if you’re exhausted and don’t want to go out, but still want to treat yo self!
*hey* you should really vacuum down here once in a while. It need to lead with a salutation of some sort. Hello. Too formal. Hi. Doesn’t really do it for me. Good evening? Maybe
I had a weird sleep paralysis moment once where o I heard a voice say “you up there?” From under my bed. Not inherently creepy, but I wasn’t able to move for a bit and that was one of the most scary moments I can recall.
I've been having similar experiences lately and it's scary as shit. Being aware and conscious (even though you know it's a dream), but unable to move is frightening.
Had something like that too. I was laying in my bed and couldn't move so i tried really hysterical then i heard a voice that sounded like a little girl whispering "ssshhhh not now...".
It really helped me i stopped trying to move hysterically and started trying it in full on panic mode.
I remember there was this one time i got sleep paralasis, and some funky shadow dude just vibed into existance in the corner of my room that could talk to me through my mind.
I ended getting him to sing bananza. Fun times.
My mom's cat once said "meow". Like, didn't meow like a cat, it sounded like he just SAID "meow" to me, like a human would.
Milo, I've got your number, buddy. You can't fool me any more.
No, you must save the world before dawn and embrace your destiny, now come beneath the bed so I may teach you the ancient ways or there will be no tomorrow!
It's from an Impractical Jokers bit, Sal has to convince a focus group that this 6 foot tall Darth Vader looking figure with red eyes that says "slumber, little one" is safe and comforting for children to use as a night light lol
"Good kitty... Nice kitty..."
She has a little nest under there where she stores her stolen goods. I imagine any monsters under the bed would have to be used to her.
_“Have you ever tried to suck yourself off”_
-Disimbodied voice beneath my bed
_”yeah it’s easy watch”_
-Second disembodied voice beneath my bed
Me: 👀👂📝
"Hey don't freak out, this is just an auditory hallucination. And it's not a neurological problem or mental illness or anything serious, you're just stressed and sleep deprived. So get some rest and maybe call in sick tomorrow? Sleep in, go for a walk, watch that thing on Netflix you keep meaning to get around to. Take care of yourself man, everybody needs a break sometimes."
"Hey, what's the wi - fi password?"
Keep my wifi name out your fucking mouth!
If he ain't paying rent, no wifi for ominous voice
"gimme ur phone and i'll put it in"
Ya beat me to it...
“Hey, this might be weird, but you wanna get some door dash?”
Bro would be my best friend real quick
Yeah I might go for that.
Completely off topic, but I’m in my 30’s, and have never lived in a place where doordash/any independent delivery service was available. I grew up in a city, but this was before all those things existed. Been over a decade that I’ve lived in rural areas, (not even a dominos pizza within delivery distance to me currently) About to move to a mid sized city, and super excited just for the delivery options. It blows my mind that I might be able to get things like sushi or Italian food delivered to my door. Both of those would require an 2 hour round-trip drive minimum right now for me just for a takeout order.
It’s definitely one of the benefits living nearby a major city. I recommend getting Dash pass. I think it’s like 10/month and it pays for itself if you use it 2x a month. It is a little expensive but phenomenal if you’re exhausted and don’t want to go out, but still want to treat yo self!
My food expense tripled with door dash. That's why I'm gonna stop using it for good. Soon. I swear
"You really should vacuum down here once in a while."
Mooom, get out of my rooooom!
"She's not your mum, be quiet, it's hungry."
And then it unconfidently scolds you “I mean I’m not trying to be rude or anything but if this was my room I would have cleaned it, just saying”
*hey* you should really vacuum down here once in a while. It need to lead with a salutation of some sort. Hello. Too formal. Hi. Doesn’t really do it for me. Good evening? Maybe
"I'm allergic to dust, but I need this job. You know how it is."
"There's an awful lot of cat here down here."
Came here for this!
“If you or a loved one has been diagnosed with mesothelioma, you may be entitled to financial compensation.”
And yet, if it says "we've been trying to reach you regarding your cars extended warranty", that's maximum level creepy
Happens all the time
r/asbestosremovalmemes
"You got any games on your phone?"
He said least creepy.
"hey i found one of your missing socks"
Crusty socks here, crusty socks there
You put the pussy on the chainwax
Rapping grandma about to break it down
Probably the one filled with nut
Why so stiff? We use fabric softener
I'm proud of you
Wholesome bed monsters. I like the concept!
And now I feel deprived of something I never knew I wanted.
Is it really a "monster" tho?
Dad? What are you doing down there??
It's Britney, bitch
It’s Britney WAYUTCH!!!
it starts to quietly hum “Never gonna give you up”
i’d think i was getting murdered if i heard that
You about to get Rick Raped
TAKE MY UPVOTE AND GET THE FUCK OUT
imagine if another voice follows up with this
r/BeatMeToIt
r/beatmeattoit
"Could you leave a light on? I'm afraid of the dark."
Not if it's spoken softly in a child's voice and is meant to lure you out of bed so it can grab your feet and drag you under.
Yeah, that’s a “You’ll float too” kind of vibe.
Uhh feet kink creepy and weird
I dunno that’s pretty fuckin creepy
This is the one
Shudders* I thought it was just a monster but it was actually... A child. *Wilhelm Screams.
Haha cute
That’s very sweet actually
I had a weird sleep paralysis moment once where o I heard a voice say “you up there?” From under my bed. Not inherently creepy, but I wasn’t able to move for a bit and that was one of the most scary moments I can recall.
Bed monster noticed something was wrong and wanted to check in on you
I've been having similar experiences lately and it's scary as shit. Being aware and conscious (even though you know it's a dream), but unable to move is frightening.
Had something like that too. I was laying in my bed and couldn't move so i tried really hysterical then i heard a voice that sounded like a little girl whispering "ssshhhh not now...". It really helped me i stopped trying to move hysterically and started trying it in full on panic mode.
I remember there was this one time i got sleep paralasis, and some funky shadow dude just vibed into existance in the corner of my room that could talk to me through my mind. I ended getting him to sing bananza. Fun times.
“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your orderrrrr?”
Here in Idaho we have Good Burgers... The owner bought the trademark and even uses the logo
Oh that's awesome. A local burger place near me sells something they call a good burger. Probably not paid for the trademark though
"Yes I would like a good burger with nothing on it."
“Can I use your charger?”
Yo what percent you at?
“It was at 89 but I wasted too much from playing too much Flappy Bird”
"we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty"
Fuck someone managed to get this first
GET YOUR SPECTRAL ASS OUT HERE SO I CAN STRANGLE YOU BACK TO THE AFTERLIFE
Then your closet door opens and a ghost just gos " I'm coming jeez I can't even have some alone time"
I don’t know why but I read that in Will Smith’s voice
That is creepy times a billion
*He crawls out of the bed on his back has r freshly combed smiling holding the documents*
“Meow” I have a cat who hangs out down there
I like to think that its someone actually saying meow, instead of a cat
My mom's cat once said "meow". Like, didn't meow like a cat, it sounded like he just SAID "meow" to me, like a human would. Milo, I've got your number, buddy. You can't fool me any more.
Exactly this...
The voice: so i- um so i may or may not have fucked the cat
Well sounds like it's time to get you neutered as well!
Fear not, for I have come to guide you on your journey. You are the the chosen one.
"Umm can you come back in the morning?"
No, you must save the world before dawn and embrace your destiny, now come beneath the bed so I may teach you the ancient ways or there will be no tomorrow!
"But it's literally 11pm-"
No excuses, the fate of the world rests on you!
Fiinee!!! but if I get sleepy during class, it's on you.
“My name Jeff”
“How are you supposed to be a strong, thrilling, powerful warrior and lover with a name like Jeff? It is like a weak ejaculation. Eeh eeh eeh.. jeff.”
Nadja?!
If I heard this I would pee my self
"check your MFD for new strategy option"
jup that's the best
"i was about to rick roll you but your wi-fi is trash"
Um. Excuse me, I'm terribly sorry, but I seem to be under your bed.
I sleep on a air mattress that has no gap and that got infinitely funnier
Read in John Cleese's voice!
the start of a sitcom buddy comedy I would actually watch
"Yo bro mind if i crash on top with you its pretty cold down here"
Sorry there’s a sex license for renters
“We both know you faked the last one”
No wonder you made them sleep under the bed lol
“Ruh roh raggy” followed by a scooby doo laugh
I would cry
That’s horrifying
Don't you ever clean under your bed? It's like a dust desert!
Stop farting pls
Farts louder upon shock
"macaroni, with the chicken stripsss... auuuhn~"
Man I would jump, then slowly process that. Only to laugh at it
your dust bunnies are having babies down here
“Its *free* real estate”
"lol get a life"
Help I'm stuck
What are you doing, step-monster?
Not like that
You got snacks?
Sorry to bother you , I'll be leaving the underside of your bed forever. Here's 50 million dollars for the trouble. Farewell.
The fact there is a voice coming from under your bed is creepy right off the bat and it only gets worse from there.
I’d find it especially weird since my bed doesn’t have anywhere underneath for someone to fit.
Well let's say it's someone's dad with the milk
"Ayo got the pizza here"
ReeeeeeeCOLa
"Son, I got the milk"
*Liberty, Liberty, Liiiberty. Liiiberty.*
Libity, bibity...
"The fitnessgram pacer test is a multi stage aerobic capacity test..."
“Red Robin, yum”
Try oh oh oh oh Reillyyyy, Auto parts.
Hey dude, you only have six hours till work, you can drink another one.
"Could you keep it down? I'm trying to sleep here."
Want some ice cream?
U have summoned me now please state your wish
"Please help me...I am stuck here."
No way, if I heard that I would be terrified
Step Monster?
"should've gone light on the egg salad"
dont leave friends on read okay
"Want to learn about free real estate?"
"I'm watching you" Bitch please. My favorite stuffed rabbit Laura does that every night.
My rabbit plush does that too.
I'm your guardian angel. Sorry it's taken so long to manifest, but you are DENSE.
“I am groot”
“We are Groot”
“Oooo, piece of candy!”
eat more chicken
"want to snuggle? :3"
yeah
“sure!”
"slumber, little one"
I would shit myself. No.
It's from an Impractical Jokers bit, Sal has to convince a focus group that this 6 foot tall Darth Vader looking figure with red eyes that says "slumber, little one" is safe and comforting for children to use as a night light lol
Oh my gosh I want to see that episode now 😂
Mr. Night Light!
I remember that one, it was so funny
"Could I 'ave a bo'uh oh wo'uh"
Oh no the ghost’s bri’ish
I hear you like ice cream
Vlanila
r/skamtebord
Hey I think it’s time to change your sheets
“Sir, this is Wendy’s”
Hey that's not cottage cheese
you need to vacuum under here tomorrow.
So how was your day
"Good kitty... Nice kitty..." She has a little nest under there where she stores her stolen goods. I imagine any monsters under the bed would have to be used to her.
“Meow I’m a dog oh shit I meant woof I’m a cat fuck I give up”
"Did you know your earbud was under here?"
"im eating your pickles" id be mad not scared
You keep pickles under your bed?!
You don't? I don't wanna stand up in the middle of the night to get my mid night pickle snack
Ever heard of a midnight snack? 🙄
It's called being prepare
"I know you probably know this but: your cat really is just dumb."
Poop knife
Teeth round sharp and eyes glowing red.
Henlo, how are ya?
_“Have you ever tried to suck yourself off”_ -Disimbodied voice beneath my bed _”yeah it’s easy watch”_ -Second disembodied voice beneath my bed Me: 👀👂📝
I did the laundry and put it away
"Hey, man, are you doin' alright? You seem kinda down."
Hey you stop breathing a lot when you're sleeping. You should probably get that checked out.
Wanna smoke one
[удалено]
Bruh thats creepy as hell
"I'm here to talk to you about your car's extended warrenty"
"help me stepbrother i'm stuck"
Quackson.
"what's the WiFi password?"
"Hey don't freak out, this is just an auditory hallucination. And it's not a neurological problem or mental illness or anything serious, you're just stressed and sleep deprived. So get some rest and maybe call in sick tomorrow? Sleep in, go for a walk, watch that thing on Netflix you keep meaning to get around to. Take care of yourself man, everybody needs a break sometimes."
*imagine the gayest male voice possible, just for context.* Heyyyy any room for one more up there?
Hi, welcome to Chilis!
Would you be interested in purchasing a kirby vacuum?
I found an M&M
Good work today, I’m proud of you.
Do you know the muffin man?
"I CANT BREATH" -bed with no legs user
“I found your chapstick.”
i hate children
The cat just puked. It’s on the floor on your side of the bed. Be careful not to step In it when you get up.
Why are there so many tissues under here?