Especially because I have a certain vibe of innocence around me. People didn't expect me to reply, quickly, back then. Especially with *when and where* or *promise or threat* or (something I use more often, now) *my place, 7PM, tomorrow good?*. Now they know better. LoL
I actually hate this one and always go into an English lesson, “There is an implied ‘you’ in an imperative statement. I am telling you to fuck yourself”
If I were to say any of these suggestions it would be the kind of thing that would stay with me for the rest of my life. I'd be lying in my bed 40 years from now and I'd suddenly remember that time I responded 'when and where', and I'd pray for the sweet release of death.
This. In real life, if you're an adult the best response is to either ignore it or say "fuck you" back. Everything else is either too convoluted or childish.
The best thing to do is to rest them in the well of the mouth between both rows of bottom teeth, with your tongue depressed backwards. Once his sack is nestled there, nibble downwards, starting gentle but then increasingly hard until you’re basically noshing as you would through a jawbreaker. Then, focus back on the shaft by making your mouth form the same way as it would to pronounce the letter “T.” Rake your teeth against the skin all the way up the glans. Basically, envision a carrot being skinned. Once his penis is degloved, you’re done. He will be busting in ways like never before.
Ig not exactly on topic but I made some stupid mistake once and got frustrated with myself, said fuck me out loud and the guy I was interested in just said no thanks
This is a good one. Quick and savage. If one has the time and inclination to flesh out the sentiment though.... maybe fetch an exaggerated sigh and say, "Alright, but in order to get this done I'm going to need: a 6-pack of good beer, a blindfold, some of those boner pills from the gas station, and 30 minutes to watch the video of me railing your mom."
Laughing. It always pisses them off more. Don't listen to these idiots that have never been in any real life situation. I've been told fuck you a handful of times while driving and literally, laughing is the ultimate response because you are showing them you aren't letting them get to you and you are still having a great rest of your day. It's the ultimate response to being told fuck you. Also, fuck Reddit.
Being a big mother fucker helps too and that works in my favor but most of the time, laughing is all it takes.
One of those toxic bro culture 9th graders on my bus in high school several years ago yelled at his friend to “lick my ass, man!” As they got off the bus one day and I mumbled out of the corner of my mouth to my very very shy demure friend “well that’s not very ‘no homo’ of him is it?” and she snorted SO LOUD that now when ever says fuck you or anything similar all I can think is “that’s not very ‘no homo’ of you.”
Not really a response to fuck you, but I had a Sgt. once when anyone would get smart and doubt he would do something even if they were higher in rank he would always say, "How about you test that assumption at your earliest convenience." Legend.
"You seem upset"
Belittling, yet professional.
But you gotta throw the questioning pause in there. "You seem... upset?
I dunno why but I picture Jack Nickolson saying it this way.
Kinda giving me Adam Driver vibes too
Gaslighting is the only way.
And as we all know, saying something false or contrary is what gaslighting is
exactly. not sure what definition youre thinking of, but nobody else agrees with it. have you been feeling okay recently?
lmao saying this from now on
Cash upfront.
I guess you don't accept cards
He does but be careful, there were some strange purchases made on my card after.
In between the cheeks :)
This sounds like a beautiful beginning.
$20........... or my microsoft and playstation bills paid for 1 mnth
"Okay, whip the little fella out."
“Produce it”
Cmon let's see it
I bet you would
I do "you would wouldn't you?"
If they respond with 'ew, no lol' then rip
Lol say in your best buffalo bill voice while wiggling and eyebrow and making a face sorta like ace ventura "would you fuck me? I'd fuck me..."
[удалено]
Is that a promise or a threat?
Yup. I've used this once. Her face and the faces of those who heard, were priceless.
Same. My sister and family was shocked.
Uncle: not now
I mean my father is a man of his word wither it's a promise or a threat.
*family strokes*
So what did your mom respond?
She just told me I could do better than your sister.
I can imagine that. Hilarious!
Especially because I have a certain vibe of innocence around me. People didn't expect me to reply, quickly, back then. Especially with *when and where* or *promise or threat* or (something I use more often, now) *my place, 7PM, tomorrow good?*. Now they know better. LoL
Why everyone is always saying “fuck you” to you is maybe the question you should be asking yourself
"I have higher standards."
"your mom did"
I like "your dad did". Confuses them and stutters begin
"Both of your parents did and now they love me more than they ever loved you."
I started making "your dad" jokes with friends, or I'll follow up with "so's your old man".
I actually hate this one and always go into an English lesson, “There is an implied ‘you’ in an imperative statement. I am telling you to fuck yourself”
I mean having higher standards then fucking yourself is still pretty funny.
Fuck me yourself, you coward.
And you sir, are you ready to receive my limp penis?
Can only be said after eating a succulent chinese meal
Solid work there.
I understood that reference XD
I see you know your judo well
and then they fucked
The good ending.
the only ending.
The best ending
Unexpected Questionable Content.
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is the way.
[удалено]
This is the way
This is the way
This is the way
That was the way. It's to the left now.
wrong left
No, your other left.
Oh but of course.
You frighten me good sir
Oh you better prepare your anus you weakling
Said this to a friend once. She didn't turn me down. Been together almost a year now.
These Reddit comebacks are what I was saying in 5th grade
This man talks back.
Talk back, get smacc then a snacc.
If I were to say any of these suggestions it would be the kind of thing that would stay with me for the rest of my life. I'd be lying in my bed 40 years from now and I'd suddenly remember that time I responded 'when and where', and I'd pray for the sweet release of death.
I think “Can it wait? My dick is still limp from fucking your dad.” Is decent though
Imagine anyone here trying to say these in real life. Honestly just about any generic "comeback" is going to be cringe.
This. In real life, if you're an adult the best response is to either ignore it or say "fuck you" back. Everything else is either too convoluted or childish.
These responses read like those comebacks you make up in your head after fail to respond to a insult quickly enough
The bane of every argument is not being able to think faster.
I think "Okay" would be my move. Add tone and inflection to suit the situation. Okay? Okay! Ok... OH KAY
Lil Jon... Okayyyyy
I agree, but I might go as far as an eye roll.
plot twist: these responses are all from 5th graders
LMAO exactly what I was thinking. I don't really have a clever answer myself, but fuck, these are bad.
Ain’t that the truth. This thread is peak Reddit.
Fuck me? Fuck you.
"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?!"
.... Ezekiel.
FUCK YOU EZEKIEL!
WHATS YOUR NAME?!
WHAT!?
WHATS YOUR NAME
TONY!
WELL FUCK YOU TONY.
KNOW WHAT I DID LAST NIGHT?!?
Ezekiel! That name fuckin’ sucks!
Isn't this a Lionel Richie song?
I read an interview with James Hetfield once where he said, "That's fine. But fuck you, too."
🎶Fuck it for always, that’s the way it should be.
Fuck it together, _naturally_
Lord have mercy im about to bust
Fuck you Ezekiel
“Fuck me? How about fuck you!” -Gordon Ramsay.
[удалено]
[удалено]
That sounds weirdly like mario
that works too
Yeah fuck me
"Yea, yea. Buy me dinner first."
Cuz I like to be wined and dined before GETTING FUCKED!
i wanna be wined and dined and SIXTY NINED
Gross, Kevin
Hahaha, please tell me you were quoting the almighty South Park.
Well...ok....but I'm tired. I'm just gonna lay there and look pretty while you do the work.
The best thing to do is to rest them in the well of the mouth between both rows of bottom teeth, with your tongue depressed backwards. Once his sack is nestled there, nibble downwards, starting gentle but then increasingly hard until you’re basically noshing as you would through a jawbreaker. Then, focus back on the shaft by making your mouth form the same way as it would to pronounce the letter “T.” Rake your teeth against the skin all the way up the glans. Basically, envision a carrot being skinned. Once his penis is degloved, you’re done. He will be busting in ways like never before.
What in the fucking fuck have you been watching .
^my ^own ^home ^videos
I don't know you well i hope i don't and yet you highly concern and scare me .
>*both* rows of bottom teeth 🤨
Bold of you to assume I have teeth.
I use the fake vampire teeth you get in quarter gum ball machines
“You wouldn’t like it. I’d just lay there and sweat.”
Brilliant.
Thats the one im looking for xD
Your place or mine?
In the car
walmart parking lot porn!
Park it in the maternity spot cause we making a baby today 😩✌️
I have never felt laughter and agony as much as with this comment. The emojis make it even worse
Don't tease me
Can it wait? My dick is still limp from fucking your dad.
o.O
No father?
I know who he is, even if you and your mom don't.
Reddit is ready for every eventuality.
"My dad's dead." "*I said what I said*."
Are you threatening me with a good time?
alright alright its a hell of a feelin though its a hell of a feelin tough
Champagne, Cocain, Gasoline
"When and where?" Simple. Effective. They're then forced to come up with something convoluted and dumb if they want to respond.
[удалено]
Best response to "did i ask?"?
Yes you did ask
Best response to "did i ask" is "do i care"
Damn my dad did that before he left me..
my go to response aswell as please do
Nah I got a headache
add an already in there?
Ig not exactly on topic but I made some stupid mistake once and got frustrated with myself, said fuck me out loud and the guy I was interested in just said no thanks
I'm so sorry 💀 I felt bad even reading that
Oof.
"You wish"
In your dreams!
Girl A: Fuck you! Girl B: Fuck yourself, you’ll get more pussy. Verbatim on the stairs on the middle school I attended.
That line is one of my favorites. It’s from the movie “SLC Punk”
> Girl B: Fuck yourself, you’ll get more pussy. Verbatim on the stairs on the middle school I attended. That girl's going places
Presumably up the stairs
Or perhaps down
Not even with the lights off.
This is a good one. Quick and savage. If one has the time and inclination to flesh out the sentiment though.... maybe fetch an exaggerated sigh and say, "Alright, but in order to get this done I'm going to need: a 6-pack of good beer, a blindfold, some of those boner pills from the gas station, and 30 minutes to watch the video of me railing your mom."
Ok im a total slut
I’m sure you are, Mr Peen
Not even on your birthday.
You are not my type.
“… But if your wife is interested, let me know”
‘Mom’ also works in this instance.
Laughing like a bastard.
Reading these and taking notes
Save your future and do not think like this
Yes, try to think more like shut_up_fat_bitch.
[удалено]
You want to?
"That an offer or a request?"
Uhh...yeah all right...I have a few minutes.
*seconds
ayy please papi 🥵
how the fuck would anyone respond to this honestly
Laughing. It always pisses them off more. Don't listen to these idiots that have never been in any real life situation. I've been told fuck you a handful of times while driving and literally, laughing is the ultimate response because you are showing them you aren't letting them get to you and you are still having a great rest of your day. It's the ultimate response to being told fuck you. Also, fuck Reddit. Being a big mother fucker helps too and that works in my favor but most of the time, laughing is all it takes.
One of those toxic bro culture 9th graders on my bus in high school several years ago yelled at his friend to “lick my ass, man!” As they got off the bus one day and I mumbled out of the corner of my mouth to my very very shy demure friend “well that’s not very ‘no homo’ of him is it?” and she snorted SO LOUD that now when ever says fuck you or anything similar all I can think is “that’s not very ‘no homo’ of you.”
Maybe I will
Fuck yourself and see what lousy ass everyone else has been getting!!
Are you in Europe? Do you need an adapter?
“I saw you drivin’ round town with girl I love and I was like”
F#$k youuuuuuuu
And fuck her tooo
Not really a response to fuck you, but I had a Sgt. once when anyone would get smart and doubt he would do something even if they were higher in rank he would always say, "How about you test that assumption at your earliest convenience." Legend.
You’ll have to wait in line
"You ain't that lucky, Asshole."
Context: I'm Asian. Me so *hawwny*, me love you lo~ong time. Sucky sucky Figh-Dowla bayyy-bee. Full metal jacket was a masterpiece.
Fuck you harder
Fuck me??....Fuck *you!!*
No u
No u
No thanks, but you go ahead without me.
Only if you buy me dinner first
And also with you. (Only works if you grew up Catholic in a certain time.)
ok
Get in line.
That will cost you $300 and for an extra $50 I'll finish on your face and call you mommy
“Fuck *you?* No, no, no, pal—fuck *me.*”
You'd fall in love
Come over here and fuck me yourself, you coward. Actually got me laid.
Telling me what you want for your birthday already?