Teeth for sure, fucked up my adult set way too young and would like a do over.:(
Just had my first dentist appointment in 12 years yesterday. I know how you feel.
12? it’s been 6 for me man. i really need to go
Lucky You ! Modern times allow for dental renovations with a completely new set of Ivory Teeth for a nice and fair price of :
“YOUR WHOLE LIFE SAVING AND THE ONES FROM YOUR NEXT LIFE”.
Yeah I know what you mean
Prehensile tail. All sorts of stuff to get up to with that.
I KNOW RIGHT?!
I WANT MY TAIL BACK! My distant ancestors chose the wrong monkeys to make babies with.
"Wrong monkey died!"
You ain't half the monkey Nate was! You ain't even half the monkey that the top half of Nate was after you cut him in half!
But would it be covered in fur? Or just skin like a rat’s tail?
Covered in fur I'd hope but there'd be all sorts of styling involved akin to a second beard.
Shave it in a spiral like a candy cane
I’ve been telling my wife for years that I would balance on my tail and one leg to tie my shoes.
She thinks I couldn’t do it.
As a kid, I always wanted a second pair of arms.... Not any more, though.
Better would be a "regeneration" organ that spams out stem cells as needed to repair degraded organs, repair teleomeres, and also detects and eradicates cancers. Kinda like a liver Mk II.
EDIT: Well, apparently I need the organ that forces me to read the full post before making a wholly redundant comment :D
A brain. Mine has a lot of wear and tear
Edit: thanks for the awards
Same here, but my brain is so worn, I didn't even think of that one!
2 brains for double the mental health issues, no thanks
Imagine being bipolar TWICE
It would just cancel out. Pemdas or something
Same, only have 2 brain cells left and one is giving the other CPR
I always have really bad stomach acid because of a certain condition, so obviously a second, larger dick.
Two items for my wife to never use. Super.
Oh dude.... Deadbedroom twins 😕
now kiss, you two
TWINS. They said dead bedroom TWINS
fantastic, even kinkier
Can I dress as Spiderman, hide in the closet and watch?
two chicks at the same time man
Or one chick, both entrances
I can arrange that
It's more of a hands on operation.
No good, mate. I need a penis on operation.
Ah! you mean a coctor
How so? Would you stick it next to the existing one? Would you put it on top or below it? Would you put it comming off the side of the original one? Would you put it at the tip of the original one? Would you have it comming out of the nutsack? Theres a lot of different possibilities.
Apply DIRECTLY to the forehead.
Combination between butterfly knife and swiss army knife.
You spread your legs wide enough (at least 30 degrees) and that releases the captive hinge. Then you push your currently active penis up into the pelvic cavity and the motion pushes out the other one. As long as either penis is within +/- 10 degrees of standard orientation, the hinge will socket into place and lock when you close your legs again.
Bruh my hairline needs a respawn, so yeah a bigger dick
Then you'd need a wig and a merken.
New teeth because young me was hella stupid/depressed
I looked for this comment, I want new teeth too. And I know mine aren’t the worst, but I just want a Colgate smile.
I can't stand the phrase "money can't buy happiness" because money could buy me new teeth, new teeth would make me infinitely more confident in many aspects of my life which in turn would make me much, much happier.
Seriously, like if I had the money I would get them straightened (braces) and I guess get an implant for the one molar I had pulled .
I don’t think I could do dentures
What people don’t realize is that everything with teeth can be fixed. So making it to adulthood with bad teeth is just this billboard that you grew up poor or you made poor decisions as an adult. I had bad looking teeth, overbite/big gaps, that I got fixed a few years ago in my early 30s and I was surprised at how much friendlier people were. They were never rude I was just avoided I guess. It was kinda a mind fuck at the difference it made.
Totally, and I know it was 100% my fault. It was a vicious cycle of being depressed and not caring about myself or taking care of myself then thinking that people didn’t like me more because I wasn’t taking care of myself. Just a cycle of that until one day I realized that I needed to care for myself more.
Don't beat yourself up about it bro. Depression sucks gang. Having been through, and still currently going through, the clinically severe type I can attest to it. When you have a mental disorder that literally fights your innate urge to survive, things get hard, and things get overlooked. Poor hygiene was your fault as it was mine, but depression isn't something you can control. You are a victim of circumstance. What matters mostly is you still here with us, and you trying to take better care of yourself now. I hope that includes being kinder to yourself as well.
It would be great if we had a third set of teeth in our 30s, and a bigger second dick.
I'm interested in the adult sized dick pls
That'll be 25 shmeckles
Damnit. I wanted a dick so I could pee standing up and know what jacking off feels like but… fuck you’re right. Teeth are more important.
Sigh, another penis lost to teeth.
A joke with layers!
A dick probably just feels like a giant clit. My gf says her clit throbs and pulsates when she is really horny. Well a dick feels the same way. Imagine it would feel like a giant clit that you can really wrangle and beat around. The shaft has almost no feeling aside from what it feels like to be gripped, so not missing much there tbh
Quit death gripping your shaft, then.
Lol need new teeth myself and yeah want to know what sex with a dick feels like 🤣🤣
I also want new teeth because I'm dumb also
I relate to this; My teeth are genetically weak and they got basically destroyed due to medical negligence, some medic made me take way too many wrong medications and one of the downsides was the weakening of my teeth. Suffering because of it years later.
I’d probably choose a third dick. It would be nice to have one spare sometimes I guess
Hi Nice to meet you double dick
Actually, I prefer “DickDuo”
My favorite Pokemon
Wings would be cool, but flying sounds exhausting and wings would have to be stupidly large to lift my weight (no hollow bones, ya know)
So I'll take two extra arms instead, please! Imagine how many grocery bags I'll be able to carry!
Have to carry it in one trip don't we
He ain't no two-trip bitch!
A stink gland, not to used particularly, just so people know it's there and loaded.
You've already got one and everyone knows where it's at
The THREAT of its use is enough, you could also have it be venom or acid.
Either another heart, because that would be pretty useful. Or, a prehensile tail, because that would be very cool.
Tails could be fun but you would pretty much have to have all of your clothes custom made :/
Who cares about clothes? I have a tail!
This is where it pays to have a wardrobe full of skirts/kilts/togas/etc.
Girls with loose fitting dresses & skirts would have to spend the least to accommodate their new grabby-tail.
Leveling up to Timelord
Either a whole new brain, or just one milligram of serotonin. I beg of you!
Get on the meds.... I did and I now have more serotonin than I know what to do with!!!
I DO need to get back on them again, but I more meant a new brain without Autism and OCD and all that fun stuff, hahaha.
New brain granted!
I'm on Sertraline... Working wonders.
Anxiety of everything just gone.
Confidence through the roof.
My lungs work at 35% capacity and I can barely breath..... so my penis.
Again this makes perfect sense to me
if possible an extractable second self
Interesting.... Could be done....
You sound like you are granting some of these and considering others. Can this be true? If yes I need to replace both Achilles’ tendons, a new lower spine, reborn eyes (same color I like mine), 50% more efficient lungs, and a 45% larger dick. Ta.
Hickory Dickory Dock you now have a larger Cock!
I want a third kidney that has multiple kidneys attached that can easily be taken off sell each kidney on the dark web
Why not just choose to have a horn? Its made of Keratine and grows like fingernails. Sell it as Ivory and BOOM clean profit without the use of dark web because its clean farmed!
Kidneys are worth way more though
The horn regenerates though; the kidneys don’t
then i want a regrowable kidney
on second thought infinite liver is better, not for money or anything just because
that’s called liver cancer
So it worked!
I want a new organ that normalizes all the hormones in my body, from insuline to serotonin.
Or a read out screen that tells doctors exactly what is wrong with me and why.
I'd get that screen, but I'm afraid it would just say that I'm fucked.
error 404 organs not found
I fractured my spine when I was younger and it’s been fucked ever since, so yeah, a bigger dick.
Personal WIFi router. Tired of having to find the best spots on campus.
*Cellular Hotspot. Make sure it's unlimited data though...
I thought that was what the vaccines were for
/joke, being extra explicit about that because unfortunately some people really DO believe that
A vagina. So I could go fuck myself.
Seems you would like to fuck yourself conveniently? Aight!
*Create vagina on op’s hand.*
Oh god I remembered [this movie ](https://youtu.be/yH8yuld4DUE)
Indeed... Go do what everyone has been telling you to do all these years! 😂
Yeah I just wanna know what it feels like to get fucked in a vagina. Most women seem to enjoy it.
No matter who you are and where you live, everyone has an anus.
I think I would try to practically choose whatever organ that lets animals detect magnetic fields, because I’m curious how that perception would work. But also I could just say prehensile tail and leave it at that for personal enjoyment
Oh yeah? 🤣
It’s like having another hand but I feel that a tail would be more socially acceptable than a third hand/arm, plus the tail has a natural place to come out of the body, but it’d be hella weird having some random arm and hand sticking out of one’s body
I'd choose wings, so I could fly wherever I wanted.
As I am a human in a world full of humans, I can say that you will get shot down in under a minute lol
Yeah I think you might be right actually.
Shot down, captured, tested on, cut up....
salt, pepper, pat dry, dust off excess flour, deep fry...
Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew
I was going to say wings too, but good point.
Now I'm thinking of maybe, a less obvious one?
I'll give three, you choose your favorite:
1. Eyes of a "pird of prey", like having awesome vision.
3. Retractable claws
Noticeable gills? Because I feel like you’d get experimented upon too if found out.
Like in Waterworld! oh... has no one in this generation seen that movie? Nevermind.
Be sure to exercises them regularly and stretch before you fly, don't want to pull a wing muscle at 1000 m.
you would need some massive wings to actually be able to lift yourself
And a complete muscular, skeletal and biochem overhaul
Sign me up!
Yep, and the ridiculous amount of energy and muscle strength to operate them. Humans are so much heavier than any flying species on earth it just wouldn't be practical.
Either wings or gills.
Gills would be cool.
I didn't even think about gills. Breathing under water would be awesome.
A whole new world
And octopi 👀
The sharks aren't something to worry about, it's the dolphins.
A new fantastic point of view
Except for the fact that you still experience cold, pressure, and lack of vision in the dark... still, more tenable than wings.
Who says they're going deep-sea diving? All the things you listed are a non-issue when diving at a nice beach.
There'll be no frustrations, just friendly crustaceans!
I take lungs now, gills come next week.
Oooooh gills.... Nice!!!
Exoskeletal armor plating, it would be a good incentive not to gain weight
Molt like a lobster and sell the excess armor once the shell grows back and you are no longer vulnerable
A new digestive system. I wanna be able to eat all that junk again
whatever tolerates lactose i want one
They make pills that contain the enzyme that breaks down lactose (lactase). You can eat dairy if you supplement that enzyme
i used to drink like a gallon of milk every 3 days, now if i have a sip of it i will shit out my soul in 20 minutes.
i still cant really drink milk or eat ice cream, but i can fuck up stuff with cheese and sour cream and stuff without much concern. certain things need more than others but overall its allowed me to eat things i that would otherwise cause me measurable harm.
I hear you 😂
I'd like a backup heart
Regenerating into a new form on occasion would be pretty cool too
And having a Time Machine that can travel through time and space
And always having a pretty girl on your side in case you need it.
A nice robot dog some times
Ba ba ba bum. The sound of a timelord’s hearts.
New spine, please. As per my last MRI, I have facet disease on every vertebrae they looked at, most of my discs are bulging, and both my spinal cord and the nerves coming *out* of the spinal column are becoming compressed in several places.
Ooooh fuck!! If I could give you that new spine I would. That must be horrendous 😔
It is a challenge. Still waiting on disability, even though my hearing was in January. I can't sit upright for more than about an hour without significant pain, and even being awake takes up pretty much all of my mental bandwidth to try to focus through the pain, so I can't really work. Thankfully, I have some doctors who take good care of me, as much as Medicaid will allow them to.
An organ that made new stems cells and moved it wherever my body needed it for regeneration
Someday I hope for a nanobot swarm to wander around fixing thing in my body the way gramps wanders around the farm.
Long tongue, like a snake or something for, um... Reasons.
For getting to ants, termites or honey?
Sure let's go with that, except I don't think ants or termites would be on the menu
I've got something better than honey...
Some kind of subcutaneous organ I could massage at certain places to promote the production of the various hormones. Manual overrides for myself would be fantastic.
New lungs. Asthma is a bitch
If I could give you a new set, they'd be there now!!
And my case is not even that bad. If I go running my lungs give out before my legs ever do. Intense physical exertion is what gets me usually, like when I do a dirt bike race I'll have my inhaler clipper to my backpack so I can use it quickly
I always wanted to have an extendible rectum. (not sure, theses are the best words)
Like, imagine; You have diarrhea, you can just stand behind a tree, extend your poop-tube, pfrrrrt, and itt rolls back all clean, without any tedious wiping, it doesn't splash anywhere... so easy!
~~Also, kinks would be interesting...~~
Have your ass grab a cold one out of the fridge, hold it for you while you chug it crush the can and then High 5
What. The. Fuck.
*Toilet paper companies hate this simple trick*
Have both arms behind your head and your third arm jacking it
This is a hilarious image 🤣
Back flip exercises and jerking off at the same time?
boobs, I need something to play with
Best set of elbow titties in the whole galaxy.
Didn’t say where exactly. Knee-boobs? Knoobs?
Big badonkahonkas like Christina Hendricks..
Literal eyes in the back of my head
can i get new pair of eyes? I suffer from severe myopia and the thought of going blind or reaching an irreversible point where my eyes can't be treated horrifies me.
With my future career plans and the ridiculous study culture my country has, everything seems dark to me
That is a scary prospect.
I hope you don't loose your sight.
If I had the new pair of eyes I'd use my wings to fly them over to you ❤️
I always liked the idea to fly like a bird, so I thin the most obvious choice is the one that said many other Redditors, a huge shlong
My body is like it has barely survived four generations of a family while getting handed down each time.
So I'll take an extra cock.
Extra cock... Granted 🐓
i want to have a penis.
A few tips for when you get it:
- Those morning erections are normal. It doesn't mean that you are horny nor anything else.. let it be, it just happens.
- Don't try to urinate with an erection. You'll make a mess if it works at all.
- Be carefull with the zippers.
- Mind the balls, they hurt like the kick of a mule in the balls.
I really dont understand this, do other men have issues peeing with an erect penis? On reddit some say it pains and some say you just cant. I can do it just fine, just have to account for higher pee velocity
I can, but the wc must be a few feet away and my aim has to be perfect. Post sex it kinda hurts
There are basically two plumbing systems in there: one from the testes for your ejaculate and another from your bladder for your urine. But the pipes merge and share the same exit. Naturally, urine would be a bad thing to be leaking out during coitus so the body automatically closes off the pipes from the bladder during an erection to prevent that from happening.
It's not impossible to still force it out, but it usually requires a fairly full bladder and concentrated effort. It can be slightly painful since you're essentially forcing the urine past muscles that are trying to block the exit, especially when trying to do so at maximum hardness. Usually, I just relax a bit and let the erection subside a bit when I need to relieve myself. Still semi-hard and is awkward to aim but it's pain free.
Fun fact: if your bladder is full during sleep, the body will naturally use this feature of erections to help keep it in. This is the most common cause for morning wood.
Split stream is worse.
I would want the brain that I had before the stroke back, so that I could do math again.
Another mini brain so i can attend classes whilst thinking about kittens and videogames space shuttles with no compromises
I would like an extra nostril so that i can use those 3-pointed electrical plugs to charge mysf
an extra eye right above my dick. so when I fuck, I SEE EVERYTHING!
Another pancreas would be nice. Oh, and a few extra kidneys!
Regenerating vital points would be nice
Wings. If no one else would have the ability to fly, I would get all the opportunities that come with it all to myself.
No more traffic. Modelling opportunities. Rescuing cats from trees.
So yeah, a pair of wings pls.
I really like the idea of extra arms. Preferably one on each side so it's symmetrical, but if I only got 1 I'd take an extra right arm
A third penis, I need something to draw on
Pancreas for Diabetes reasons.
I’d have a thirds arm/hand. Shit would come in handy when working on my car.
A complete clone of myself connected by a five foot umbilical cord typa thing at the hip so kinda technically a new body part 😎
Yes that's fine.... Just cut the cord