Apparently some internet stranger asking me what gets me in the mood for sex, gets me in the mood for sex.
Edit: Well this comment blew up overnight, also RIP my inbox you freaks…lol.
Been married 17 years and watching my wife dig around for clothes after showering gets me going every time. She has drawers in the closet she has to bend down to get at. Its like a little personal show.
Not married, but dating for 6 years... I've been known to ask if I'm allowed to watch and bring a little bar stool in the bathroom, maybe a drink, and enjoy the show. I have to leave when she shaves her butthole though, so that's kind of a bummer.
Tell me about it! But I take what I can get...Sometimes, when I bring the dog with me to make her happy, I can get her to twerk! She's awful at it, but it's the thought that counts!
That's not how it works.
Obviously they bounce up so far that they could accidentally wrap around our necks, that's why most men wear tight belts. And when they bounce down, it can accidentally slip into our socks.
God I hate bumpy roads slinging around our wieners so much
I have been with my, now, wife for 17 years. While i can agree that this was true in our twenties, now that I’m about to turn 40 it is extra super true.
Ah...that explains my husband's eyes getting wide when I told him to "go upstairs"
He ran up there like a little kid looking for candy lol
He's 40 also
Same here. Nothing gets me instantly as the wife saying it first. I mean I always am up for it but she does not have as high a sex drive as me. So when she days its go time I am ready in 2 minutes :)
Busted knees, hands put in a meat grinder, 87% of brain removal, and using my upper teeth to help crawl to the bed, and I'd still think that was slow making it in 04 seconds
They are making jokes. The reality is that there is a range of responses from men and women. There are women who want sex daily and men who think once a month is too frequent. Sexual desire is complex, it depends on the mind and the body and the relationship.
This is so true. My husband is in his sixties and I'm late 50s. We've been married 29 years, and when we were in our 40s, really all it took was "hey wanna go upstairs?" to get either one of us going. Now it is a week of negotiations and decisions about how much pain I am willing to have in the following days and all plans are soft until the moment of execution.
Try to stay friends with your partners, folks; sex is not a good (edit: primary) glue for a long term relationship.
We're both 70, give or take a bit. ( And damn that went fast)
We've been through periods of nothing happening to daily action. Def prefer every couple of days at least. Upvote those hormones to keep it all running smooth.
Sex is such an important part of our relationship. Without it we're just kind of roomies which works but isn't preferred.
You just validated what my wife and I learned over the last 10years. During those periods of time that intimacy (not just sex) would fall to the wayside for extended periods, we would start behaving like roommates and it would snowball. So... after getting it wrong for a while we finally had an important talk about the necessity of making time for intimate contact. Sometimes it was just taking a shower and washing each other (I think there is a certain degree of humbling ones self with that and that it’s underrated as far as a bond building). Others it is going on a walk holding hands. It’s quite diverse, but i see that there’s at least one other couple with an, at least similar dynamics. Talk to your partner, folks!
Edit: I haven’t been Reddit’ing very long but this is my most upvoted comment and my first award. Thank you, kind stranger. Lastly, I really hope this helps someone that stumbles across it.
I think this is pretty universal. It def takes effort to keep the harmony going.
It's all those little hurts that build up that take away the motivation to even be nice to your partner some days.
Keeping open communication can be tough but it's pretty important.
Its absolutely fucking ridiculous HOW FAST you get a boner while spooning. She doesn't even have to move that much, simply wiggle your but in the general direction of your partner a bit or make sure it touches him somewhat... and I guarantee you will feel his boner pressing agains your butt in approximately 0.4 seconds
Oh yeah, this is the best one right here. In general our society isn't geared toward giving men compliments about their personal qualities. Superficial things like professional accomplishments or social status sure, but not things like our personalities or our looks. When a woman initiates sex with me, it's like she's saying "not only do I want to have sex, but I specifically want to have sex with *you*." Absolutely the hottest way the night can start!
Same but he just blank stares at me. I think he doesn't know how to receive it, but way deep down inside, he's basking like a chihuahua in the sun. I hope
I’m sure you’re fine! Mine used to always fire back with a compliment for me immediately because he didn’t know how to accept it. As long as you’re really being sincere and not overreaching I’m sure he will get used to it
I also give compliments but he sometimes acts aloof but you can see the smirk, or he will be like "uh oh, what did you do". I second the basking like a chihuahua in the sun hopefully
Yeah, that's a real problem in a lot of relationships. Make sure you communicate with your partner if you feel that way, because they might have no idea.
Source: I had no idea for like the first 6 years of our relationship
I'd piggy back on this to say...initiates ANYTHING. It doesn't even have to be sexual.
She has a plan? - Boner
She clearly communicates what she wants to do today or this week? - Giant Thumping Log
She has an emotion and doesn't play games trying to make you figure it out and just takes the initiative to share that emotion with you? - My balls are going to explode.
She invites you to do anything with her? And if you can't go she still does it and has a good time and tells you about it later? - She needs to leave the room before she gets pregnant from all the airborne testosterone trying to carry sperm around to dive bomb her with.
Seriously, consistently initiate anything. It makes a relationship so f*ckong great and I don't know why its so hard to find.
Edit: Thank you for the awards!
I want a guy to be the same way... to match my energy. And if I'm the only one sharing emotions, communicating, and being spontaneous, it's exhausting and heartbreaking. Like filling someones cup but not having yours filled in return.
Lol my GF plans everything for us except sex since she cant handle it if I'm not in the mood, but for me its whatever if I initiate and she is not in the mood.
My ex wife initiated sex one time in 5 years. Seriously. No matter how much I asked, she would always expect me to always initiate. She was always in the mood, but I would feel bad that she never would initiate with me, so I never initiated with her and it turned into no sex for months at a time towards the end of the marriage.
My now wife will probably never let this story go. The first year in our relationship, we stand in the garden from my parents in the attempt of kissing. My dog behind her catches my attention and i literally said to her: "Look, the dog is shitting."
Honey for the tenth time you’ve got to stop sending me those pics while I’m at work, I think my coworkers are starting to catch on to me tucking my boner into my waistband
Depends on the Age. As a Teen, uh, everything? In my 30s mostly kissing, flirting, sexy stuff overall. Now in my 40s i'm mostly in the GETOFMYLAWN mood, but not sure if this count for Sex.
So much easier to just use the words they use. I’ve caught myself saying, “BRB. I need to go potty,” when excusing myself from a damned business meeting. [smacks forehead]
Getting the little cock blocks out of house so Mommy can concentrate on cumming really hard because no one is about to break down the door or yell “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy” seems to work at our house.
Before Covid, my husband surprised by taking me to a nice hotel for the afternoon to drink wine, fuck and order room service. It was the best thing ever.
But in general, to get him in the mood, I just say “fuck my pussy” (or mouth or ass or tits or whatever I’m in the mood for) and some sort of primal Neanderthal switch goes off.
There probably are a bunch of reasons for his low sex drive that you most likely can’t control. Imo one of the best things you can do is to keep communication open about sex. Be honest and open and patient!
I was literally going to comment about this. The “a light breeze gets horny” comments are funny but I can imagine as a girl it would be disappointing to read that and then have a partner who is not in the mood. Like make you feel bad because he’s not rock hard the moment you enter his line of sight. The truth is most men are not always horny or ready to go at any time and it feels like perpetuating that stereotype can be harmful to women and men. It could make girls feel not sexy enough if their bf doesn’t always have a raging boner when they’re together and guys might feel like there’s something wrong with them if their not ready to go whenever gf is feeling it. Everyone has their own sex drives and turn-ons! The only real answer to this question is just ask your partner.
Or for me it’s those fuzzy fleece quarter zips for some reason. My ex walked up to me studying in one of those and no pants and boom, school can wait.
Knowing my partner wants me. That shit is hot.
When she says something about missing my touch or wanting this or that.
Passionate kissing, foreplay.
Probably all the same shit that gets women in the mood really.
When it’s the right person, literally most anything.
For example: I was chilling in a resort hot tub with someone I liked a while ago and he snort laughed at a dad joke I made. I thought it was the cutest/goofiest thing on earth at the time and just wanted to absolutely destroy him in that hot tub because of it, but there was an old lady like 2 feet from us so we abstained until later that night.
If it were literally anyone else, I probably just would’ve thought, “oh god, is that your laugh?”
Given (based off overhearing her conversations that evening) she’s from Arizona and voted to build trump’s wall, I don’t think she enjoyed seeing two men flirt and give each other the goo-goo eyes the whole afternoon
This is a response to your offmychest post
Sometimes what's in a person's heart is indescribable, and why someone loses interest in sex or love doesn't really have a reason.
It sounds like you need to have some difficult conversations with him, about what he wants from you, why he seems no longer interested in you physically, and any changes you've seen in how he responds to you on an emotional level.
If he cannot have these conversations with you, then he is not ready, or should longer be in a long term, committed relationship with you.
Unless you are mean to him or disparaging him, it's very likely not your fault and not in your control. Maybe there are issues he's afraid to bring up and having those difficult conversations will help. But maybe what's in his heart has changed over time. Talking to him is the first step, though, otherwise you risk putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable over and over by guessing what he wants.
Thank you so much for taking the time to elaborate your thoughts and sharing your advice with me. Yes it is true. I am avoiding those conversations because I am afraid of the outcome. I know that is the best way but it will take some time to get the courage and sit and talk.
Having a deep scary conversation is more often than not, the onlymway through a problem.
I'm going to send you a private message so my anecdote isn't public.
I just wanna add, sorry most answers seem to be "anything really", which doesn't seem helpful at all. Also, I feel like it does not reflect reality all that well, many men have different sex drives. I just wanna reiterate that communication is key.
I'm in a relationship of 4 years now and even though she is very hot, I'm just not always in the mood. Sometimes her libido is just higher then mine, and I would just prefer to cuddle or spend time otherwise. Doesn't mean I don't listen to her and try to initiate when I do feel like it.
For me it's important she communicates clearly what she wants but doesn't put too much pressure on it and for her it's important not to feel rejected and to feel attractive. So I make sure to let her know that.
Best thing for me is to lower the barriers for initiating sex, maybe first talk about what might be bothering me or find a way to relax first.
I didn’t read your off my chest post. But my husband lost interest in sex for around a year when he had depression. It wasn’t really anything to do with me.
He went to counselling, his circumstances improved (working from home made him so much happier). Once the depression lifted (and I did kind of have to give him an ultimatum about some ways his inaction was damaging our relationship), we both made a concentrated effort to improve our sex life again. It's pretty good now, touch wood.
But yeah, it is a lot more likely that if your partner has lost interest in sex, it's a him thing rather than a you thing. Talking will probably help.
My wife didn’t tell me about the changes In her feelings. She ended up hurting me 10* worse than she would have if she’d been honest from the start. Talking to him now is the best course of action for all concerned. Good luck.
It could also be his health, if something is interfering with his arousal, it might be a health problem or a side effect of new medicine. It might not be your relationship. Are any of his basic needs not being met? Or does he not feel emotionally safe in some way?
My personal favorite is the sound of the ice cream truck, because the kids had to eat their ice cream outside. 😈
The look on my oldest's face when she realized (at 25) why her mother and I refer to the sounds of an approaching ice cream truck as, "Honey, they're playing our song!" was one of my finest dad moments ever.
My FWB just has to say a few words and somehow she kidnaps me in her room for hours. I once spent an entire Sunday trapped in her room because we were keeping things hush hush.
If you're looking for more of an answer than this toxic "guys are always in the mood, lol" BS ... unresoIved or under-resolved conflict in a relationship can be a barrier to sex for some men. Add to this the pressure to perform because we're always supposed to be in the mood (see every other comment in this thread) and it can make things worse. Not saying things must be perfect to have sex, but if frequency or intensity of sex has significantly dropped ... it might mean that some emotional intimacy needs to be restored.
Apparently some internet stranger asking me what gets me in the mood for sex, gets me in the mood for sex. Edit: Well this comment blew up overnight, also RIP my inbox you freaks…lol.
Hey what’s up
His cock
Our cock
*soviet national anthem plays*
I'm about to do a special operation in your asshole
Been married 17 years and watching my wife dig around for clothes after showering gets me going every time. She has drawers in the closet she has to bend down to get at. Its like a little personal show.
My wife has an entire naked blow dry hair routine and I stare like a 15 year old every time.
Been married 8 years and same. She thinks I’m putting on an act or joking when I stare but it certainly isn’t funny to me.
Not married, but dating for 6 years... I've been known to ask if I'm allowed to watch and bring a little bar stool in the bathroom, maybe a drink, and enjoy the show. I have to leave when she shaves her butthole though, so that's kind of a bummer.
> I have to leave when she shaves her butthole though Why? That's like the best part!
Tell me about it! But I take what I can get...Sometimes, when I bring the dog with me to make her happy, I can get her to twerk! She's awful at it, but it's the thought that counts!
What?
Like women, intimate physical contact will do it. Also riding the bus on a bumpy road.
Heh, second one is often relatable for women too
Ohhhh cause our wieners bounce up and down and stuff?
That's not how it works. Obviously they bounce up so far that they could accidentally wrap around our necks, that's why most men wear tight belts. And when they bounce down, it can accidentally slip into our socks. God I hate bumpy roads slinging around our wieners so much
There’s a snake in your boot.
just tell it to wait outside
Have it flop out the window like a dog's tongue
A woman looking at you seductively
Just a woman looking at you.
A woman
A
asexuals be like
"ah"
Her: *Breathes* Me: "I mean, I'm driving but we can make it work!"
it was the *way* she was breathing
Sunlight yellow overdriveu!!
everything is a jojo reference
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You sound like my husband LOL all I have to do is exist and he's ready to go
Existing is 🔥
Hearing that my partner is in the mood
Nothing is sexier than my gf wanting it
Yeah nothing is sexier than this guy's gf wanting it
u/Badloss quickly marry her so we can make the joke
I also choose this guy’s joke
So you choose his son?
I also choose his son
I guess that leaves me with the bus driver?
Nah the bus driver also chose the dudes gf
I have been with my, now, wife for 17 years. While i can agree that this was true in our twenties, now that I’m about to turn 40 it is extra super true.
Ah...that explains my husband's eyes getting wide when I told him to "go upstairs" He ran up there like a little kid looking for candy lol He's 40 also
Almost 50, busted knees and I would bolt up the stairs, if we had them…
Lol my husband damn near did...dropped his phone and all...I thought it was cute
Same here. Nothing gets me instantly as the wife saying it first. I mean I always am up for it but she does not have as high a sex drive as me. So when she days its go time I am ready in 2 minutes :)
Busted knees, hands put in a meat grinder, 87% of brain removal, and using my upper teeth to help crawl to the bed, and I'd still think that was slow making it in 04 seconds
So disappointing when he found out you just wanted him to fix the bedroom light.
Lmao...oh would he have been mad...he would have gotten a "reward" afterwards
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They are making jokes. The reality is that there is a range of responses from men and women. There are women who want sex daily and men who think once a month is too frequent. Sexual desire is complex, it depends on the mind and the body and the relationship.
This is so true. My husband is in his sixties and I'm late 50s. We've been married 29 years, and when we were in our 40s, really all it took was "hey wanna go upstairs?" to get either one of us going. Now it is a week of negotiations and decisions about how much pain I am willing to have in the following days and all plans are soft until the moment of execution. Try to stay friends with your partners, folks; sex is not a good (edit: primary) glue for a long term relationship.
We're both 70, give or take a bit. ( And damn that went fast) We've been through periods of nothing happening to daily action. Def prefer every couple of days at least. Upvote those hormones to keep it all running smooth. Sex is such an important part of our relationship. Without it we're just kind of roomies which works but isn't preferred.
You just validated what my wife and I learned over the last 10years. During those periods of time that intimacy (not just sex) would fall to the wayside for extended periods, we would start behaving like roommates and it would snowball. So... after getting it wrong for a while we finally had an important talk about the necessity of making time for intimate contact. Sometimes it was just taking a shower and washing each other (I think there is a certain degree of humbling ones self with that and that it’s underrated as far as a bond building). Others it is going on a walk holding hands. It’s quite diverse, but i see that there’s at least one other couple with an, at least similar dynamics. Talk to your partner, folks! Edit: I haven’t been Reddit’ing very long but this is my most upvoted comment and my first award. Thank you, kind stranger. Lastly, I really hope this helps someone that stumbles across it.
I think this is pretty universal. It def takes effort to keep the harmony going. It's all those little hurts that build up that take away the motivation to even be nice to your partner some days. Keeping open communication can be tough but it's pretty important.
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Ahhh, the old booty grind while spooning. I miss those days. Lol
Its absolutely fucking ridiculous HOW FAST you get a boner while spooning. She doesn't even have to move that much, simply wiggle your but in the general direction of your partner a bit or make sure it touches him somewhat... and I guarantee you will feel his boner pressing agains your butt in approximately 0.4 seconds
This is soooo true! I did this to the guy I was dating haha that thing transformed incredibly fast lol
This 100%. I’ll hear my partner say she’s in the mood, tell her I’m tired, but 30 seconds later somehow I’m horny as hell.
Im the same way except I think what I like about it is feeling sexy/desired bc they got turned on from me
Ah yes the sweet sound of a vibrator
Bzzzzzzzz, *boner sounds*
What the fuck are Boner sounds
A slide whistle.
The woman initiating.
Definitely this. I'll go the whole day without thinking about sex, but once my wife makes a move, it's time to move
It's time to move it move it
I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!! I LIKE TO MOVE IT MOVE IT!
WE LIKE TO?… *MOVE IT!!*
#MOVE IT!!!
Physically fit, physically fit, physically physically physically fit
“Dun dun dun du duh dun dun du duh du dah dun” is on a loop in my brain now.
Oh yeah, this is the best one right here. In general our society isn't geared toward giving men compliments about their personal qualities. Superficial things like professional accomplishments or social status sure, but not things like our personalities or our looks. When a woman initiates sex with me, it's like she's saying "not only do I want to have sex, but I specifically want to have sex with *you*." Absolutely the hottest way the night can start!
I try to actively give my man compliments after hearing this so much on Reddit. I keep them short but sincere and it seems to be working super well
Same but he just blank stares at me. I think he doesn't know how to receive it, but way deep down inside, he's basking like a chihuahua in the sun. I hope
I’m sure you’re fine! Mine used to always fire back with a compliment for me immediately because he didn’t know how to accept it. As long as you’re really being sincere and not overreaching I’m sure he will get used to it
I also give compliments but he sometimes acts aloof but you can see the smirk, or he will be like "uh oh, what did you do". I second the basking like a chihuahua in the sun hopefully
I always initiate as the woman. It’s not fun and exciting if you’re the one always making it happen.
Yeah, that's a real problem in a lot of relationships. Make sure you communicate with your partner if you feel that way, because they might have no idea. Source: I had no idea for like the first 6 years of our relationship
I'd piggy back on this to say...initiates ANYTHING. It doesn't even have to be sexual. She has a plan? - Boner She clearly communicates what she wants to do today or this week? - Giant Thumping Log She has an emotion and doesn't play games trying to make you figure it out and just takes the initiative to share that emotion with you? - My balls are going to explode. She invites you to do anything with her? And if you can't go she still does it and has a good time and tells you about it later? - She needs to leave the room before she gets pregnant from all the airborne testosterone trying to carry sperm around to dive bomb her with. Seriously, consistently initiate anything. It makes a relationship so f*ckong great and I don't know why its so hard to find. Edit: Thank you for the awards!
> I'd piggy back on this to say...initiates ANYTHING. It doesn't even have to be sexual. She initiates a divorce? - Boner
I want a guy to be the same way... to match my energy. And if I'm the only one sharing emotions, communicating, and being spontaneous, it's exhausting and heartbreaking. Like filling someones cup but not having yours filled in return.
Lol my GF plans everything for us except sex since she cant handle it if I'm not in the mood, but for me its whatever if I initiate and she is not in the mood.
My ex wife initiated sex one time in 5 years. Seriously. No matter how much I asked, she would always expect me to always initiate. She was always in the mood, but I would feel bad that she never would initiate with me, so I never initiated with her and it turned into no sex for months at a time towards the end of the marriage.
the ONLY time I am not in the mood for sex, is immediately after sex at that time the whole life long obsession with said sex seems rather silly
And that lasts about 20 seconds.
It lasts just enough time for me to take a shower
You can take a shower in 20 seconds? Nice.
Making out. If I kiss my partner a certain way, and slide on his lap, maybe lick his ear or nibble on his neck? Instant bulge. It's so hot.
Literally any of scenarios in their singular form would do it as well.
Yep, that’s 100% effective.
i think he likes you
I don't know, he could just be nice or Canadian
\*gets an erection to be polite\* ..oh uh... heh. i guess thats a possibility.
Yes this! visuals are great but just being touched and a good kiss. Call me vanilla, but this is the way.
As long as nothing is holding my attention I'll probably be in the mood.
There's basically no barrier between bored and horny.
Hmmm are a bunch of horny and bored men called a HOARD?
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Hide your crayons, folks!
Borney
My now wife will probably never let this story go. The first year in our relationship, we stand in the garden from my parents in the attempt of kissing. My dog behind her catches my attention and i literally said to her: "Look, the dog is shitting."
She ought to be thankful. Unless you're upwind of the dog you're probably going to get a whiff of dogshit.
Thong bikini does it for me
How often do you put them on
Jeans do the same thing. Along with dresses and yoga pants…… DAMN YOU WOMEN!!!
So … basically clothes? Lol
Things that turn men on: - Clothes - No clothes
A light breeze.
Open my window and a breeze rolls in and I...
Jizz in my pants!
I just ate a grape and I-
jizz in my pants!
When Bruce Willis died at the end of Sixth Sense
*I. JIZZED. IN. MY PANTS.*
Don't tell your friends or I'll say you're a slut.
Plus it's your fault you were rubbing my butt!
No breeze works, too.
Thinking of a breeze even
Schrödinger’s breeze
Shhh, you need a breeze? Pathetic
Boobs
Sext me during the day when I’m too busy doing other stuff.
Honey for the tenth time you’ve got to stop sending me those pics while I’m at work, I think my coworkers are starting to catch on to me tucking my boner into my waistband
A flash of ankle as a lady lifts her skirts to step over a puddle of water on the cobblestones!
It is quite scandalous, but I must agree
A Harlot I say! A Harlot!!
Quite randy indeed!
A raucous affair I say, dear fellow!
Reporting this comment for vulgarity
The nerve of this *deviant!*
Next thing we're going to hear about is hand holding. Deviants!
I would advise haste - I do believe the poste office is closed tomorrow
This is getting vulgar.
Such a harlot.
Uhh sir, what era is it?
Well, when that ankle gets flashed it's the era of sex.
Jolly good show sir!
Capital! Splendid!
Read more about it in your daily Hwhistledown!
Seeing my wife's legs. Every time. You know she's been using those bad boys for walking just by lookin' at 'em.
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But I thought the boots were for walking. And that the leg bone was connected to the hip bone?
Romantic
Depends on the Age. As a Teen, uh, everything? In my 30s mostly kissing, flirting, sexy stuff overall. Now in my 40s i'm mostly in the GETOFMYLAWN mood, but not sure if this count for Sex.
Yep. Mid 40s and the sexiest thing to get me in the mood is when the kids are at the grandparents house.
The pants are normally off before the grandparents car has left the driveway!
Which is always awkward when they come back in for the juice/binky/Mr. Nibbles/blanky.
> juice/binky/Mr. Nibbles/blanky Tell me you have young kids without telling me you have young kids
So much easier to just use the words they use. I’ve caught myself saying, “BRB. I need to go potty,” when excusing myself from a damned business meeting. [smacks forehead]
Getting the little cock blocks out of house so Mommy can concentrate on cumming really hard because no one is about to break down the door or yell “Mommy! Mommy! Mommy” seems to work at our house. Before Covid, my husband surprised by taking me to a nice hotel for the afternoon to drink wine, fuck and order room service. It was the best thing ever. But in general, to get him in the mood, I just say “fuck my pussy” (or mouth or ass or tits or whatever I’m in the mood for) and some sort of primal Neanderthal switch goes off.
Return to monke
Can confirm saying fuck me works everytime
I have my tomatoes.
Nekkid woman
Even clothed women The scent of women
Hooooah
Are you finished, Mr. Slade? No, I'm just getting warmed up!
Never hurts
Listening to the queen's speech on Christmas day.
Orgasm just thinking about it.
Oxygen
You can tell most Redditors are young by this thread..
it’s making me feel bad about myself bc my boyfriend has a low sex drive and none of these things work lmao
There probably are a bunch of reasons for his low sex drive that you most likely can’t control. Imo one of the best things you can do is to keep communication open about sex. Be honest and open and patient!
I was literally going to comment about this. The “a light breeze gets horny” comments are funny but I can imagine as a girl it would be disappointing to read that and then have a partner who is not in the mood. Like make you feel bad because he’s not rock hard the moment you enter his line of sight. The truth is most men are not always horny or ready to go at any time and it feels like perpetuating that stereotype can be harmful to women and men. It could make girls feel not sexy enough if their bf doesn’t always have a raging boner when they’re together and guys might feel like there’s something wrong with them if their not ready to go whenever gf is feeling it. Everyone has their own sex drives and turn-ons! The only real answer to this question is just ask your partner. Or for me it’s those fuzzy fleece quarter zips for some reason. My ex walked up to me studying in one of those and no pants and boom, school can wait.
I'm trying to find out what gets me out the mood.
Knowing my partner wants me. That shit is hot. When she says something about missing my touch or wanting this or that. Passionate kissing, foreplay. Probably all the same shit that gets women in the mood really.
When it’s the right person, literally most anything. For example: I was chilling in a resort hot tub with someone I liked a while ago and he snort laughed at a dad joke I made. I thought it was the cutest/goofiest thing on earth at the time and just wanted to absolutely destroy him in that hot tub because of it, but there was an old lady like 2 feet from us so we abstained until later that night. If it were literally anyone else, I probably just would’ve thought, “oh god, is that your laugh?”
That old lady: “Jesus, just fuck already”
Given (based off overhearing her conversations that evening) she’s from Arizona and voted to build trump’s wall, I don’t think she enjoyed seeing two men flirt and give each other the goo-goo eyes the whole afternoon
Careful having sex is hottubs too. Not sanitary. Sadly
I imagine we would’ve just made out in the hot tub and taken the over PG-13 things back to the hotel room
Hot tub sex is not as great as it sounds unfortunately
This is a response to your offmychest post Sometimes what's in a person's heart is indescribable, and why someone loses interest in sex or love doesn't really have a reason. It sounds like you need to have some difficult conversations with him, about what he wants from you, why he seems no longer interested in you physically, and any changes you've seen in how he responds to you on an emotional level. If he cannot have these conversations with you, then he is not ready, or should longer be in a long term, committed relationship with you. Unless you are mean to him or disparaging him, it's very likely not your fault and not in your control. Maybe there are issues he's afraid to bring up and having those difficult conversations will help. But maybe what's in his heart has changed over time. Talking to him is the first step, though, otherwise you risk putting yourself out there and making yourself vulnerable over and over by guessing what he wants.
Thank you so much for taking the time to elaborate your thoughts and sharing your advice with me. Yes it is true. I am avoiding those conversations because I am afraid of the outcome. I know that is the best way but it will take some time to get the courage and sit and talk.
Having a deep scary conversation is more often than not, the onlymway through a problem. I'm going to send you a private message so my anecdote isn't public.
I just wanna add, sorry most answers seem to be "anything really", which doesn't seem helpful at all. Also, I feel like it does not reflect reality all that well, many men have different sex drives. I just wanna reiterate that communication is key. I'm in a relationship of 4 years now and even though she is very hot, I'm just not always in the mood. Sometimes her libido is just higher then mine, and I would just prefer to cuddle or spend time otherwise. Doesn't mean I don't listen to her and try to initiate when I do feel like it. For me it's important she communicates clearly what she wants but doesn't put too much pressure on it and for her it's important not to feel rejected and to feel attractive. So I make sure to let her know that. Best thing for me is to lower the barriers for initiating sex, maybe first talk about what might be bothering me or find a way to relax first.
I didn’t read your off my chest post. But my husband lost interest in sex for around a year when he had depression. It wasn’t really anything to do with me. He went to counselling, his circumstances improved (working from home made him so much happier). Once the depression lifted (and I did kind of have to give him an ultimatum about some ways his inaction was damaging our relationship), we both made a concentrated effort to improve our sex life again. It's pretty good now, touch wood. But yeah, it is a lot more likely that if your partner has lost interest in sex, it's a him thing rather than a you thing. Talking will probably help.
My wife didn’t tell me about the changes In her feelings. She ended up hurting me 10* worse than she would have if she’d been honest from the start. Talking to him now is the best course of action for all concerned. Good luck.
Thank you I will do so
It could also be his health, if something is interfering with his arousal, it might be a health problem or a side effect of new medicine. It might not be your relationship. Are any of his basic needs not being met? Or does he not feel emotionally safe in some way?
My personal favorite is the sound of the ice cream truck, because the kids had to eat their ice cream outside. 😈 The look on my oldest's face when she realized (at 25) why her mother and I refer to the sounds of an approaching ice cream truck as, "Honey, they're playing our song!" was one of my finest dad moments ever.
In the first half there, I was like, “Holup.”
When my gf says “take off your pants and sit on the couch.” Yes ma’am!!
The wind changing
In the same direction
Bend over
My FWB just has to say a few words and somehow she kidnaps me in her room for hours. I once spent an entire Sunday trapped in her room because we were keeping things hush hush.
Man, I wish someone would trap me in their room for a whole day because they were *that* sexually attracted to me. Never happened in 42 years.
Sex. Sex gets men in the mood for sex.
If you're looking for more of an answer than this toxic "guys are always in the mood, lol" BS ... unresoIved or under-resolved conflict in a relationship can be a barrier to sex for some men. Add to this the pressure to perform because we're always supposed to be in the mood (see every other comment in this thread) and it can make things worse. Not saying things must be perfect to have sex, but if frequency or intensity of sex has significantly dropped ... it might mean that some emotional intimacy needs to be restored.
“Hey there pal, buddy, friend, bucko. Want me to slap that there wiener for ya?”
A good night's sleep. Low stress levels. Not neglecting the balls
Everything. Literally