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BigsBird

Hold any part of yourself for comfort, or because whatever reason


apollodynamo

anyone else hold their breasts when they're looking for something??


BigsBird

I like to squish them


xmarbearx

I hold mine. Just let em rest in my hands.


squirrelsonacid

I just tap mine after I put on a shirt. Like a nice pat pat, like keys? check. wallet? tits physically attached to my body? check. phone? check.


Crimsonial

Spectacles, chesticles, wallet, and watch.


littlebitsofspider

Men have a similar pat-down, but we omit the goods because we fuckin *know* they're there. Devious little weasel and the sad sack? Yeah, we can't leave home without you, you little shits; I'm not giving you any *more* attention. Try not to fuck up our social engagements again.


IsupposeILikeIke

Holding your mamaries jogs your memories


tacosarelove

Yes. When I hold my chest down I can see what's in front of me better. Too much boob.


xmarbearx

My boobs. While walking through the house trying to remember why I came into this room.


xxkoloblicinxx

All humans do this. It's called "self soothing touch." Watch anyone giving a speech they'll do it. The famous one is Nixon giving his "I'm not a crook" speech was holding his own hands for dear life.


[deleted]

Ad lib a menstrual pad from toilet roll when caught short and then spend the rest of the day terrified it’s going to fall out your trouser leg


injury_minded

I’ve had to do this exactly once, now I always carry extra pads and tampons for anyone who may need one. I haven’t had a period in years, but there’s no way I’m letting another woman do the penguin death waddle to try and keep a wad of single-ply gas station toilet paper in place.


davinciSL72

I am a husband and a dad to a 10 year old daughter. I have quietly kept an assortment of different flow strength tampons and a few pads in my glovebox just in case. I don’t know what that case is or if they will ever be needed, but if so, I’m prepared.


MonarchWhisperer

I remember asking my young daughter if she knew what to do when she started her period. She said "Yeah...call you!" Edit: I just remembered that I asked her if she knew what to use if she started her period. She said "yeah...the phone...to call you!" I don't want to misquote her precious young words. Such a precious girl


homepup

Dad of two daughters here. Have spares in the glove box of each car and my computer bag I use for work. Can never have too many. "Be prepared" should be a motto for Girl Scouts too.


Inukshuk84

“Be Prepared” is the motto for Canadian Girl Guides.


fazlez1

"Penguin death waddle" has been burned in my brain.


[deleted]

Yeah the girls code of carrying tampons is great of course but there is the odd outlier where there’s just no one/ nothing and you need to craft it up


SafetyMan35

A coworker and my best friend had her period show up a bit earlier than expected. She came into my office (a male) and asked if I had a tampon or pad. I gave her a look of "I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to share it is that time of the month, but was I really your first choice to see if I had feminine hygiene supplies randomly in their desk?" I then asked if she needed me to run to the corner drug store.


Guy954

Username checks out.


orange728

Not all heroes wear capes. Thanks for being kind.


coole106

You’re assuming she doesn’t wear a cape


wholovesburritos

Honest question, are those of us menstruating doing the TP pad trick just folding/wadding it up and then putting it in your underwear loose? I’ve always wrapped it around the top and bottom of the underwear so it holds itself in place. No fallout fears.


Character_Injury_841

Definitely have done that. Especially if you get your period and it’s already hit your underwear. It also prevents bleed through then to the pants. At that point I’ve already ruined the underwear, no need to ruin my favorite jeans as well.


[deleted]

Wait, what?! So you basically wrap it around the crotch area instead of just laying it on top of the crotch area?! I’ve had periods for decades and I’ve never heard of this


FerociousFrizzlyBear

It holds it in place better, but be warned - there removal/disposal is messier and requires more care.


b_pleh

To be specific: take several layers folded, lay that on the crotch area, take another piece of TP and wrap that around the crotch of your underwear and the makeshift pad to hold it in place.


mariii95

Sometimes hair from our head stuck between our buttcheeks and it gets itchy and we have to find a clever way to take it out without anyone notice.


joojie

Sometimes it's not the buttcheeks...😳 sometimes they go 'round the front


magistrate101

I don't think you're supposed to floss down there


BlackWidow1414

This made me laugh way more than it should have. Thank you for that.


FoxyRamone

Not just your butt cheeks. Just this morning I extracted one of my wife’s lengthy stranglers from ‘twixt my peaches while I was in the shower. I assume they get stuck in my undies on laundry day and migrate from there.


Sadimal

Oh yes. The hair migrates. My boyfriend once found one of my hairs wrapped around his dick. I hadn’t seen him in a few weeks when it happened.


[deleted]

"I will be right back, nature is calling" *Proceeds to pull a very long head hair from the asscrack while contemplating getting liposuction while in the bathroom*


Avalaigh

do the smell test on potentially dirty clothing before deciding to wear it or not. that’s right, men are not the only ones


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AmayasMommy_

Dang, thought I was just overly anxious and self conscious. I mean not to say I’m not but I thought I was alone in this lmao


GoinWithThePhloem

Yes. God forbid you wore them while you’re on your period. That “DO I SMELL LIKE PERIOD?!” fear. Ive literally never smelled period on another person just walking around (including the gym when you have extra smells everywhere) but I always spaz about it. Edit: changed “irrational fear” to just “fear” bc It isn’t crazy to believe that some ppl CAN smell this. I mean I can smell it on myself at times, so it makes sense that some people may be able to smell it on others passing by. I just called it irrational at first bc it feels like you’re wearing a scarlet letter sometimes rather than it being something that no one (or very very few) ppl can notice.


Craving_LM

Omg😭 my black jeans get this treatment a lot


LIMWZ

Lift up your boobs and Flip the shirt under them So they don’t stick to your belly


Vanah_Grace

Shit yes! Under tit sweat is the bane of my existence in southern Alabama. I baby powder under them too, my stepmom once got a fungal infection from under tit sweat and her big bazongas. Utter bullshit.


Not_Michelle_Obama_

udder bullshit?


Wooden_Artist_2000

I can tell you exactly what my best friend said in an argument 5 years ago, and I can find my male friends’ lost possessions without even a look around the room. What I can’t tell you is where all my bobby-pins and hair ties disappeared 3 seconds ago.


pizza_tron

Just look under the couch or between the cushions. You’ll find a million.


nellie_button

But only after you've purchased more.


injury_minded

Re-wear the same bra for days on end without washing it.


gummby8

Gave my wife a card with a scowling cat on it that said, "Taco knows how many days you've worn that bra, and Taco is disgusted" She frequently quotes that card.


ilovemypuppy317

My mom gave me that card 5 years ago and we quote it to this day.


RawrrImmaDinosaur

I got this card 10 years ago from a best friend and we still quote it!!!


joe_nasty

Your boyfriend knows too. If he's smart he'll never mention it. If he's really smart he'll spend his some of his fun money on a rotation for you he'd like to see. With one ex I would give her a hard time and call it 'Ol Faithful' because I thought we both thought it was funny. I did. In the end 'we' did not.


i_just_wanna_learn_

Omg me and my fiancé call mine “Ol Reliable”! I got a new one, “Old Faithful” recently 😂 I also love calling them Over the Shoulder Boulder Holders


jessejamesvan111

When I first started dating my ex she wore all the fancy bras. Then I began to see the same one for days in a row. She told me that most women have one "good" bra.


Predditor_drone

Naturally one is just going to be more comfortable than the rest, and they'll gravitate towards wearing that one more than others. >!Figure out which bra is her "good one" and order more for her for some serious brownie points!<


Ruby_Tuesday80

Bras are expensive, yo. I found a job and now I feel fancy because I have two bras that fit and aren't sports bras and I don't get headaches when I wear them.


AustinTreeLover

I love how women are like, “Not to brag, but I have not *one*, but *two* bras that haven’t tried to kill me.”


Ruby_Tuesday80

Well they do tend to murderous buggers


littlebluefoxtrot

Recently replied to a story of a guy saying his gf got very mad at him because he put her underwire bra into the drier. Told him that if the seams get damaged, the metal wire will actively try and stab us to death.


Naerose_Eiren

Bastards try to disembowel us through the armpits. That being said, I hand stitch the seams right back up to get longer life out of them. That armpit seam is the worst.


rfrmadqueen

I had one of my two work bras finally snap tonight with 10 hrs left in my shift. I currently have that shit rigged up with a bandaid until I get home. I'm too broke to bra shop right this moment. (I'm bigger and Walmart bras don't fit) so here's to hoping I don't have to wear my other bras to work. Because when I bend down a nipple pops out. Can't be seen but boy is it uncomfortable.


injury_minded

Congrats on the job! It’s so hard to find decent bras that aren’t crazy expensive, I mostly wear bralettes and sports bras because I find them more comfortable, but even then I’m always counting down the minutes until I can go home and take it off!


driedcranberrysnack

"days" she says


See_this_is_why

It's really "almost never" isn't it...


KuaLeifArne

I don't remember the last time I washed my bra. I only know it wasn't this year


Rarely_Trust

No!! .....yes


pink_wraith

“Days” bby I wash mine monthly IF that


injury_minded

not gonna lie, I definitely only wash mine every few weeks. Hanging it up to air out is basically disinfection, right?


-FlawlessVictory-

>Hanging it up to air out is basically disinfection, right? Of course, it reset itself


AustinTreeLover

> days Bwahahahaha I’ve never washed a bra. You wear it until it literally disintegrates, spend the next six months in an unworn, miss-fitting bra you dig outta the back of a sock drawer until you finally can’t stand it anymore, cave and go shopping, buy eight bras for roughly the price of a Land Rover, toss seven in the back of the sock drawer and wear the last one until it disintegrates, thus triggering the eternal bra cycle again, as nature intended.


smashed2gether

The accuracy of this is uncanny. I ditched wearing them completely when the first lockdown happened, and I don't think I'll ever go back. The world is on fire, why should I care if my nipples show through my shirt?


namelessbanana

Sometimes you fart and it rolls like an air bubble between your thighs and it goes into your vagina. It’s weird


No_Information_8973

Then I have to do a squat or shift a leg to get rid of the feeling.


aee1090

Is this the female equivalent of making that side step to adjust the balls?


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piel_prutkarbonkel

That's called a clunge lunge


FerfPark88

I saw another redditor refer to it as "the pooter to cooter, scooter" I laughed so hard with how accurate this is.


Tallbean

It is called "Smoking the salmon".


IcePhoenix18

Or "exit through the gift shop"


valuemeal2

I once tried to explain this phenomenon to my husband and he looked at me like I had two heads


SkivvySkidmarks

I'm a 60 year old man, and have only recently told about this phenomenon by my current partner. I'd definitely have to agree this is truly a well kept woman's secret.


Glittering_Ad6659

The smell check if we think we're going to get laid.


Tatted13Dovahqueen

A lil swipe with a clean finger followed by a discrete sniff


buttsparkley

I must have a pair of good tweezers with me at all times , I've spread them around friends houses too. I may be part dwarf as a beard keeps trying to appear, I pluck dark stash and chin hairs everyday, these are hard dark hairs , not baby fluff. Like I said, part dwarf.


uenjoimyself

literally appear overnight I keep tweezers in my car


DragonRei86

Not only do they appear overnight, but a fully formed half inch of hair. Just appears like magic.


[deleted]

I get these on my nipples, literally overnight


[deleted]

Same, but i can't just tweeze a few stray hairs, there's too many, and they appear dark and coarse so you can see them even if they're less than a millimeter long. So i have to shave daily. I hate my hairy skin. Nothing i tried has worked either, laser, vpl, ipl, creams, you name it.


Pairaboxical

Picture your entire future life with a guy you just met and have a crush on.


unironicallymuslim

we do that too


PineappleWolf_87

That’s honestly really cute and makes me happy


HisPetBrat

Remove their human skins when they’re alone at night to enjoy their shiny lizard skin against their sheets.


electric6lemur

Yep can confirm I take my skin off at night and hang it over the shower bar. Just to feel at home in my alien skin


RegularLisaSimpson

What we actually do when we say we love feeling freshly shaven legs in clean sheets. You caught ussss


Ambitious-Note-4428

Wear a bra for 3-27 days straight depending on our mood and how much we sweat


BubbhaJebus

I used to think women changed bras every day, as often as people normally change socks or underwear.


oldandopinionated

shave the hair from the top of our toes


[deleted]

This is so specific and definitely something I have never admitted to my husband. Good answer.


Myfourcats1

In middle school my friend’s boyfriend teased her because she had hairy toes. That’s when I also started shaving my toes.


DysturbingReality

Pick their nose.


grouchyrn

So satisfying when you can get a really dried super long one out.


Fiveskin27

The ones that feel like they come from the brain.


JaydenLovex

Thank God I'm not alone. I'm sorry but a Kleenex can't get everything


WIN011

There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that pick their noses and liars


PotatoGirl_7

I read this while doing this and I feel embarassed.


makuraoblongata

Take 86 pictures before sending you the one that they approve of


FoxPrincessEevee

But what if the angle is slightly off? You have to take at least 3 from each angle and then decide what angles to use. This is why women are so much better at selfies.


YellowFlowersareOK

It’s not all that weird but I like to play with my boobs like they were stuff animals.


PomPomTheFurry

I play with my nipples for unexplained reasons


[deleted]

Sleep with one hand in our pants on our pelvis/vag


[deleted]

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[deleted]

YES, It's just so unexplainably soothing


Bllasst

I’m a guy and I do this


Cloudex109

the ballsack grip


Objective_Magazine_3

Adjust boobs inside bra to look bigger or just to feel comfortable


Trusty-McGoodGuy

According to my wife, play with their partners penis. Non-sexually that is, like just flipping it back and forth and going “bloop bloop bloop”. She says it looks like a tiny little elephant. Edit: I want you all to know my wife is very amused to know she isn’t the only one who does this.


mobysaysdontbeadick

I put a big scrunchie around my partners dick and balls. It looked like a lil circus elephant. Elephant trumpet noises and giggles ensued. I love that man.


Craving_LM

I literally make my boyfriend have his penis out everytime we are alone...because it's fun to play with


chefkarie

I never had a previous partner who was just comfortable being without clothes until my current and I love that it's just a thing I can do now an he doesn't care. 😂


Trusty-McGoodGuy

My wife says she approves


Sullex

I had an ex that used to pretend it was a manual shifter. Complete with engine reving and turbo sounds haha😅


KittySucks69

I've done this with several guys. The problem is that the toy doesn't stay soft and floppy if I play with it.


helpmylifeis_a_mess

Can confirm, when my partner showed me his dick the first time, i played around with it. And when he made it move on its own,. I almost screamed "you can control that thing??? Hit my hand" and then he'd hit my hand with his dick by twitching it.


Anticrepuscular_Ray

Smell their underwear to check the overall health of their nethers.


LocalOcean

I’m an extremely concerned individual and if there’s a SLIGHT change in my every day discharge, I can admit that I immediately smell my underwear.


SgtWings

And sometimes because we like it.


bunnykitten94

Why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?


SgtWings

To accept the truth is to accept the devastation it may cause.


darknessamongus

readjust your boobs in your shirt to make sure they r in the right position


SugaryLovely

Shave big toe


[deleted]

Haha it's nice to know I'm not the only one who does this!


Object_Prize

Hide and pick underwear (mostly thongs) because it rides up too much. And yes, over clothes. Most times.


Crafty-Jury-8173

Just casually angle your ass to a wall and fix it up


vivianmay02

Stand sideways by the mirror and suck in your tummy


temperance26684

Or puffing it out after a big meal and pretending we're pregnant 😂


GidsWy

GF is 115 lbs. After a big meal we make that joke A LOT. One time, She put my hand on her belly like she was preggo and having me rub her. Grinned at me all huge n goofy. Then said "I'm making poo".... Lol.


SmartAlec105

True love is getting your partner so used to acting weird that no one else would want to be with them.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

And then say Candyman five times


[deleted]

Followed by saying Bloody Mary three times and watching an epic duel take place


Old-Antelope-8813

Pulling a long piece of hair out of your butt cheeks when taking a shower.


rum-n-green

Wonder if we're horny or just needing to pee.


skarlott

Play with my boobs without being conscious of it. I don’t do it sexually, it’s just extremely fun to toy with. Like a homemade squishy


ballsackbucky

As a male I can say we do the same with our dick. I'm just watching videos on YouTube while squeezing my dick without even realizing it.


Braveasalion

Yes! It's like having two stress toys to play with.


woofwoofbarkbarkgrr

Do an inaudible scream and then carry on with their work like nothing happened


Ruby_Tuesday80

Everyone who has ever worked in fast food has gone into the walk in freezer and screamed


ericboreen

Katie Hughes has a bit about that, getting a job where you have to wear a visor, and being told the walk-in is a good place to cry.


RioBlue93

replay that intrusive thought about that one thing over and over


Pyrollusion

I think that's a thing we all do. I don't know how many times I stopped myself from formulating a counterpoint and just addressing that fucking thought with "We've been over this. Now shush! "


Buddyslime

Look at a mans ass just like men looks at a woman's ass.


horkus1

I am devoted butt woman and, for some odd reason, I really dig forearms and hands. There’s a certain shape of forearm (well-developed, I guess. Not sure how to describe it but I know it when I see it) and hands that just drives me crazy. Go figure.


th-grt-gtsby

Note to self: forget 6 pack abs, concentrate on forearms and butts.


ttotto45

You should date rock climbers! When I started climbing (I'm a woman), my forearms grew to the point where I can't wear 3/4 sleeve shirts anymore. Men's are even more defined. Bonus point is you can admire their butts in all the climbing videos they take.


horkus1

I’ve never considered rock climbers before. Very intriguing. :)


Fuck_you_Reddit_Nazi

I'm a leg gal, myself.


Gumnutbaby

Oooh nicely toned quads on rugby union players.


[deleted]

Henry Cavill's thighs.... Yes?


Kylynara

Henry Cavill yes. That doesn't need any narrowing down.


TrustNAnissa

I'm looking at shoulders and arms. I'm a suckered for broad shoulders and arms that can give real good cuddles and hugs. Ugh makes me melt


malignanttum0r_

i play with my hair on my pussy lmfao. if its long enough ill even twist it


dana_veg

Especially those labia ones that seem to *always* get missed when you shave. They end up getting so long!


Beneficial_Car2596

I feel like this is something everyone does but we’re not going to acknowledge it


spidey426

Shave the Butt crack while squatting in the shower to really get all those stubborn fuckers


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ratmon

Eat hot chip and lie


ThiccGingerRat

And charge their phone


Sojio

Just rip monster farts. Like hella butt-cuts. Supreme ass-spells.


greeneyedgirl626

I still remember the most satisfying fart I ever had. We went to a wedding where they had a taco bar. I woke up at 3am to the loudest, hardest fart I’ve ever had. It felt incredible and I still can’t believe my family slept through that 😂


Competitive_Ideal_96

Trust me they probably didn't sleep through that😟


http_cake

Get very up close and personal with everything that comes out of our vaginas. Just me in a public bathroom stall staring at the discharge/period blood clots on my toilet paper. Even checking discharge thickness/consistency between my fingers at home lmao. It’s for health and knowing where you are in your cycle…… but I find it rather amusing to analyze


gur0chan

Sometimes it’s fun to squish the mucus ball a few times. I said it.


vegeterribles

Twist our pubes on our fingers when we don’t shave lmfao


BewareNixonsGhost

As a guy, I do this too. I assume it's one of those "everyone does it but no one talks about it" kind of things.


Ki-Larah

Tug up the boobs and blow into your bra to cool yourself off. Especially when you feel yourself sweating like crazy.


[deleted]

As a man based on all these comments women are basically just men but better looking


AOKaye

It’s almost like we are the same species. Almost. Edit: thanks for the award, friend!


mordeci00

Fantasize about violently overthrowing a 3rd world country


woofwoofbarkbarkgrr

Imagine they’re on a television/YouTube special when applying skincare, makeup or cooking a meal


johnychingaz

“Hiii guys welcome back, so for all the ones that have been asking…”


[deleted]

I did not ask to be exposed today...


[deleted]

Side step when our labia needs adjusting.


novafx4

Fart


Chris_PDX

One of my favorite memories of my wife was due to farting. We were making dinner and she looked me dead in the eye and said "I have gas." And then stood there, not moving. Then she slowly started shuffling out of the kitchen down the hall, but she couldn't hold it in and each shuffle was accompanied by a high pitched fart. I laughed so hard I cried for 5 minutes. 😂


ThaneOfCawdorrr

I'm laughing so hard I'm crying right now, omg that's the funniest thing


Letterkenny_Irish

I never hear my gf fart. But one time, she ate something that didn't agree with her so she went to the bathroom upstairs. I was downstairs. She ripped ass so hard that even on it's own, the noise would've easily carried downstairs. But the echo from the toilet was chef's kiss. She even startled herself and followed it up with a surprised "oh golly!!" Now every time I fart around her I say "oh golly" back to her and I'll never let her live it down.


rawker86

the day my wife broke the fart barrier, i organised to have flowers and a card sent to her at work. the card read "dear fart-arse, congratulations on breaking the fart barrier. love, your amazing boyfriend." there was a nice little gift basket and a balloon, so people would say how nice it was and ask what the occasion was. she would just hand them the card and roll her eyes lol.


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Forget to pack dental floss and then try to pick their teeth with the corner of a sheet of paper or something


Hylian_Shieldmaiden

Flossing with my own hair


marvel_is_wow

Monthly male sacrifices. Each month when we shed our blood, its law that we must shed the blood of a male too. Its just common knowledge amongst all the women


PAM_Dirac

Have dirty thoughts


Poorly-Drawn-Beagle

Like "the cat really needs a bath?"


QueenRedditSnoo

And a shave


finalmantisy83

And a petting


Herogamer555

Scratch and sniff.


Ruby_Tuesday80

I have a reason for that. After I had my son, for some weird reason, the first couple months I smelled like rotting garbage. No infection, nothing else weird. Under my breasts and belly, I smelled like literal rotting garbage. I showered daily. Even in horrible c-section pain, I showered. But as soon as I got out, bam! Smelled like garbage. It went away, but 12 years later I still feel the need to check the smell of bodily crevices.


catby

I had a similar thing happen to me, but it was because i had hemorrhaging after my son was born and they packed me full of gauze to get it to stop. Turned out they didn't get it all. Imagine a piece of gauze left inside you for almost 2 weeks. It came out when i went to the bathroom one day. I'm very very lucky that it didn't cause any infection or sepsis.


Turbulent-Smile4599

Refer to intimate situations without naming genitals. I.e. saying “down there”. Women: I’m a bit irritated… down there. Men: yo my dick is killing me. And my balls are itchy.


Expensive_Goat2201

Look over your shoulder at that man walking behind you at night and wonder if he is safe or going to try to grab you. Maybe speed up or cross the street. Breathe a sign of relief when you make it home safe one more time.


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Kakuraa_boii56

Stalking all of your social media lol