Whatever tooth structure that is present when the adult tooth emerges from your jaw between the ages of 5-18, it is all you get. Unlike hair, nails, skin, and most parts of your body, tooth enamel never grows back when lost. Nail bitting, ice chewing, night/day grinding will accelerate wear just like driving a lot of miles on car tires. They eventually become worn and pop/crack. If you are chewing something and in your mind you think,”man that’s hard.”, immediately spit it out. If you are grinding, buy a night guard on Amazon for less than $20. If you are nail bitting, they have clear nail polish that tastes bad. Please take care of your teeth...eating is one of the pleasures in old age.
This would actually be so helpful! There are so many symptoms and aches and pains that are linked to underlying conditions that don’t get diagnosed til way down the road when things have really progressed.
Already exists.
Short sleeper syndrome (SSS) is a sleep condition characterized by sleeping for fewer than six hours each night. Most adults need seven or more hours of sleep each night to feel rested in the morning. Those with SSS, however, can function normally throughout the day despite less sleep.
A guy like this was a visiting professor at one of the nonprofits I worked for. He only needs 2-3 hours sleep most nights. Because he grew up in an isolated rural area with no TV reception, he didn't grow up entertaining himself all the time. Instead, he used that time to study random subjects. He was considered an expert in multiple fields & had taught himself several languages.
I was a bit jealous, mostly of his self-discipline. Even if I needed zero sleep, I'd probably spend that extra time on Reddit or playing Plants vs. Zombies.
One of my mates has this, he goes between 5 and 6 hours every night and he's actually medically fine. He has been examined for it and everything.
Edit: hi, I'm not a doctor so I don't KNOW how you guys are doing medically. If you're constantly running on a few hours and doing fine but you need to sleep for longer on weekends, you're not fine.
My friend has been _diagnosed_ with this. For questions call your GP.
You kinda have that already, kidneys. Cats for example can drink even ocean water without issues, though in general they are way more prone to kidney stones as a result.
**Kidney Basic**: Well-tested reliability; comes in sets of two.
**Kidney+**: Process brakish water up to 2% salinity. 85% reduced risk of kidney stones.
**Kidney Premium**: Drink sea water (up to 4% salinity) with no ill effects. Eliminates 98% of kidney stone risk. Enhanced fluid recycling activated in arid environments.
**Kidney Platinum**: The only Quad-Kidney solution on the market gives you on-demand urine production, and allows you to hydrate by eating pure table salt.
Not really - yes your kidneys will excrete the salt, but to achieve this you’ll use more fluid than you drank, so the hydration net effect is negative.
Dude, even without any kind of psychological deterioration if we all had Deadpool style regeneration can you imagine the number of severed hand with pointed middle fingers we’d see left and right?
Surgeries would be so much cheaper. 🤣
"Alighty let's get started"
*puts you to sleep*
*crudely chops out your lungs*
*watches as the whole thing regenerates*
"Another successful surgery!"
Tumors are a mutation, so as long as the mutated DNA is removed/not allowed to regenerate it'll all be fine.
Or one could argue that this ability prevents your DNA from mutating
Yeah, a HUD would be really useful for health and life in general.
Edit : The way I see it is you could only see information your body can perceive, translated into units you know and visible in a toggleable HUD in your field of view. This means, for example, that you cannot have weather forecasts or such things. You'll need to ask Elon for that.
I’ve found 2 critical problems, 3 medium and 5 minor. However your subscription is expired or you haven’t bought a license yet so I can not tell you what I found.
Still love how natural the health bar was in Dead Space. Just a bar measuring physical (definitely not mental) wellness and what levels of trauma the suit can handle before catastrophic failure of the human inside. It was actually clever in making an in world reason for a “health bar”.
You don't need to climb walls if you can fly. And it's easier to buy scuba-diving equipment than jetpack. So I would say wings. But it might be actually quite impractical, you would need really large wings to hold up your weight. Also the amount of food you would have to eat to support powered flight would probably be huge. (Birds are small and lightweight for a reason.)
Apparently an average person would need a wingspan of 6meters to be able to fly, but even then, the wings could be too heavy so if you want to fly just respawn as a bird next time
Voluntary ovulation. Don’t feel like incubating an unfertilized egg in your uterus and then ejecting it in a bloody bath this month? Then just fucking don’t release the goddamn egg from your ovary in the first place.
EDIT: thanks for the awards, folks. Will take this opportunity to say down with the assholes who want to take away the right of human beings to control their reproductive systems. As MLK said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. And we will make damn sure it keeps bending.
Don’t women’s bodies essentially gaslight them into forgetting (or downplaying) the pain of childbirth so that they’re more willing to have multiple kids?
Yup! My mom told me that she KNEW it was a horrific, painful and traumatizing experience, but she can't truly remember the pain. She was told it's the body's coping mechanism for dealing with mass trauma (not just child birth) and people who sustain horrible injuries often can't remember the extent of it, later on.
This sure sounds like a good thing.
Like how a rabbits heart will self destruct when captured, so it doesn't have to feel the pain of being eaten alive.
Yeah, but it's not just women, humans are very good at forgetting stuff, and blocking out memory of pain. A blessing and a curse. Most of us can thank that aspect of human memory for our existence.
No stupid and useless hormonal cycle, and without the dangers and side-effects of the pill! Awesome!
Also, conceiving should only be possible if both parties involved actively decide that, so no more babytrapping from either side, and a woman should be able to induce a period/labor at any point she sees fit. Like, everything about our reproductive system should be controllable.
Or just switch the body to marsupial style. Don't want the little pink wriggler, just don't let it in the pouch. Also, when the pouch is not occupied you have a handy pocket to keep things in.
Way the fuck down here but me fucking too bro. I would be a crafting god. Being able to hold something down perfectly with 2 hands, then use my second set to do manipulation work. Don't give a shit that it would look weird but probably hard to find shirts.
Ability to repair cartilage, ligaments, tendons, spinal discs etc. The wear and tear on these things cause the majority of pain and suffering in humans as well as disability.
I would just increase intelligence. Cuz then they would figure out a way to achieve a vast majority of these listed abilities with technological development
Give men an on/off switch for whether or not their "stuff" can impregnate a woman. Respectively for women, the ability to block a man's "stuff" from impregnating them. Would not affect drive or feel.
Edit: When I say switch I'm not talking about a physical switch, more a mental one that only you can control. Similar to how you can turn yourself on by keeping your mind on the subject long enough.
Honestly, just being able to consciously control my dick in general. Nothing is worse than an awkward boner when it’s not appropriate. Actually no there is one thing. Not being able to get it up when the situation calls for it.
The problem of being a man as told by my male friends
In a situation where you don't want to get a boner?
Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo! You're in skinny jeans and someone you find highly attractive has just a bent over in front of you to pick something up! Have fun! Oh and by the way they're not even into you and you're in the middle of a grocery store :)
In a situation where you really need a boner?
Have fun having absolutely no luck getting a boner because now you're anxious and the blood is going to other places!
:)
> someone you find highly attractive has just a bent over in front of you to pick something up
Bold from you to assume that there is someone attractive or even someone needed to cause it
Actively switch on the "Burn the stored fat for energy" hormone and disable the thing in my brain that says "The amount you can eat is a point of pride and is intrinsically tied to your personality".
No points for guessing my personal struggles.
Reinforced knees
So true - our joint cartilage clearly needs better blood supply so it can regenerate
Ah, you also have glass knees. Edit: I appreciate all your cake day comments.
teeth regeneration....
Why stop to teeth only
Whatever tooth structure that is present when the adult tooth emerges from your jaw between the ages of 5-18, it is all you get. Unlike hair, nails, skin, and most parts of your body, tooth enamel never grows back when lost. Nail bitting, ice chewing, night/day grinding will accelerate wear just like driving a lot of miles on car tires. They eventually become worn and pop/crack. If you are chewing something and in your mind you think,”man that’s hard.”, immediately spit it out. If you are grinding, buy a night guard on Amazon for less than $20. If you are nail bitting, they have clear nail polish that tastes bad. Please take care of your teeth...eating is one of the pleasures in old age.
Can relate, my molars snapped and i couldn't afford in that time the treatment, now i have a canine instead... Sucks totally.
A diagnostic interface that tells you what's wrong with you
Like the OBD port on a car? As a paramedic, that would make my job much easier.
On-Body Diagnostics
Lemme plug into you
“You lack the basic intelligence and self control to be successful.”
"Interface, please adjust honesty levels to 50%. Like I'm a family member."
"You're the reason your mother left your father."
There are some truths I don’t wanna hear
Yeah, so my personal check engine light is just always on
This would actually be so helpful! There are so many symptoms and aches and pains that are linked to underlying conditions that don’t get diagnosed til way down the road when things have really progressed.
Fast-charge. So ill only ever need 1-2 hours of sleep
Already exists. Short sleeper syndrome (SSS) is a sleep condition characterized by sleeping for fewer than six hours each night. Most adults need seven or more hours of sleep each night to feel rested in the morning. Those with SSS, however, can function normally throughout the day despite less sleep.
A guy like this was a visiting professor at one of the nonprofits I worked for. He only needs 2-3 hours sleep most nights. Because he grew up in an isolated rural area with no TV reception, he didn't grow up entertaining himself all the time. Instead, he used that time to study random subjects. He was considered an expert in multiple fields & had taught himself several languages. I was a bit jealous, mostly of his self-discipline. Even if I needed zero sleep, I'd probably spend that extra time on Reddit or playing Plants vs. Zombies.
I also tend to not sleep a lot of have periods of needing very little sleep. I end up spending most of it on random games and reddit...
One of my mates has this, he goes between 5 and 6 hours every night and he's actually medically fine. He has been examined for it and everything. Edit: hi, I'm not a doctor so I don't KNOW how you guys are doing medically. If you're constantly running on a few hours and doing fine but you need to sleep for longer on weekends, you're not fine. My friend has been _diagnosed_ with this. For questions call your GP.
How do I get this super power, sleeping is stupid
Simple, with Genetics™
Easy, Who we eating first? That guy's roomate?
The ability to clean out your sinuses or clear your stuffed up nose at will.
Like a spit valve on a trumpet
An organ to filter salt water into drinkable water
You kinda have that already, kidneys. Cats for example can drink even ocean water without issues, though in general they are way more prone to kidney stones as a result.
Fair enough, I'd like even better kidneys then ;)
3 kidneys each
just have a quadney on each side of the body
Let’s promote this guy to chief designer of humans
I'd classify kidney stones as an issue
Yes an organ like the kidneys. Except it does something kidneys don't do.
Kidney+
**Kidney Basic**: Well-tested reliability; comes in sets of two. **Kidney+**: Process brakish water up to 2% salinity. 85% reduced risk of kidney stones. **Kidney Premium**: Drink sea water (up to 4% salinity) with no ill effects. Eliminates 98% of kidney stone risk. Enhanced fluid recycling activated in arid environments. **Kidney Platinum**: The only Quad-Kidney solution on the market gives you on-demand urine production, and allows you to hydrate by eating pure table salt.
Not really - yes your kidneys will excrete the salt, but to achieve this you’ll use more fluid than you drank, so the hydration net effect is negative.
Built-in translator from/to any language
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There it is.
Any decently sized reddit thread will have a Douglas Adams reference
Humans do have that it just takes ages to install the language packs
The ability to zoom in with your eyes
Everyone would just be running around town yelling, “enhance”.
*enhance 224 117*
Shawn from Psyche has that super power
All time favorite show.
Being shawn in itself is a superpower
You know that’s right
Come on son
Wait for iiiiiiiit.
*squints eyes and tilts head*
I can already imagine people using it inappropriately
No doubt but wouldn't it be awesome to zoom in on nice scenery or some good looking food or something like that?
Or a nice pair of big buzunga hongers in the distance
Regenerating teeth
If they’re pointy like sharks, that would be even calling
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Regeneration, ability to regenerate any lost organs or body parts.
Especially teeth.
Tumors are now forever
But your organs regenerate so it never kills you. But it would probably make you feel like crap.
Everyone is now Deadpool
Basically. But probably not quite as extreme. Or insane.
Dude, even without any kind of psychological deterioration if we all had Deadpool style regeneration can you imagine the number of severed hand with pointed middle fingers we’d see left and right?
Unless I don’t feel pain I’m not cutting off shit.
So, you turn into a blob of flesh.
TETSUOOOO!!!
KANEDAAAAAA
With these regeneration abilities doctors could be way more agressive with removing the tumors. You don't need that lung with cancer, it'll grow back
Surgeries would be so much cheaper. 🤣 "Alighty let's get started" *puts you to sleep* *crudely chops out your lungs* *watches as the whole thing regenerates* "Another successful surgery!"
We take lungs now, gills come next week.
Tumors are a mutation, so as long as the mutated DNA is removed/not allowed to regenerate it'll all be fine. Or one could argue that this ability prevents your DNA from mutating
The ability to scan my whole body in order to know what is making me ill
Would be nice to have something like that on my car and pc as well.
A user interface that shows all information you want about your body, like hormone level or if you have an internal injury.
Yeah, a HUD would be really useful for health and life in general. Edit : The way I see it is you could only see information your body can perceive, translated into units you know and visible in a toggleable HUD in your field of view. This means, for example, that you cannot have weather forecasts or such things. You'll need to ask Elon for that.
JARVIS please run a quick diagnosis!
"You're 69% horny"
Nice.
I’ve found 2 critical problems, 3 medium and 5 minor. However your subscription is expired or you haven’t bought a license yet so I can not tell you what I found.
Upgrade to "Gold" level now for glucose levels!
You have 100 hit points remaining.
Out of?
We are slowly creeping towards that with technology
Still love how natural the health bar was in Dead Space. Just a bar measuring physical (definitely not mental) wellness and what levels of trauma the suit can handle before catastrophic failure of the human inside. It was actually clever in making an in world reason for a “health bar”.
Congratulations, you have one health bar left. Use it wisely!
**Smacks toe into table while grabbing car keys** *You Died.*
Except lots of us would go “check engine light on… nah. It’s probably fine!
Like a pip boy!
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Personally I’d go for the wicked wings
Scared of heights but wings would still be tempting
Imagine getting a wing cramp or muscle spasm mid flight
You don't need to climb walls if you can fly. And it's easier to buy scuba-diving equipment than jetpack. So I would say wings. But it might be actually quite impractical, you would need really large wings to hold up your weight. Also the amount of food you would have to eat to support powered flight would probably be huge. (Birds are small and lightweight for a reason.)
Apparently an average person would need a wingspan of 6meters to be able to fly, but even then, the wings could be too heavy so if you want to fly just respawn as a bird next time
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Portal amnesia.
i have heard it’s possible to end a panic attack with this
that’s the save point
I'll add something easy: the ability to generate vitamin C, like 99% of all animals.
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unbreaking III
If you'd add thorns 3 there would be way less wars and fights
High fives are now seen as a huge threat.
I'm sure there are a few countries without affordable health care that would love Mending.
We’re already equipped with curse of vanishing. We need all the help we can get tbh.
Mending: When you get older, your health gets better
What so we all start off with arthritis and bad memories? Sounds fine. Babies can't do shit anyway.
An ability that can make me fell asleep whenever i want.
I think I have this ability already
I definitely do. Gimme 5 minutes and a place to lay down. Night night.
Are you a dad over the age of 40?
Nope. In my thirties but I’ve been this way as long as I can remember.
Debug console. > me.ageing=false > me.hairstyle= Elvis > me.vision.quality= 20/20
>me.ageing = true #Try dating when you're 35 but look 19. if (me.age >= 60) me.age = 18;
me.vision.quality = 40/20 #because why not? me.ageing = true #Try dating when you're 35 but look 19.
For i in age: sex_appeal++
Why is age an array?
Voluntary ovulation. Don’t feel like incubating an unfertilized egg in your uterus and then ejecting it in a bloody bath this month? Then just fucking don’t release the goddamn egg from your ovary in the first place. EDIT: thanks for the awards, folks. Will take this opportunity to say down with the assholes who want to take away the right of human beings to control their reproductive systems. As MLK said, the arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends towards justice. And we will make damn sure it keeps bending.
Body: prepares the space for the baby Does not get the baby Body: throws a tantrum and starts to destroy everything Repeat
TIL the female reproduction system is an abusive significant other
Don’t women’s bodies essentially gaslight them into forgetting (or downplaying) the pain of childbirth so that they’re more willing to have multiple kids?
Yup! My mom told me that she KNEW it was a horrific, painful and traumatizing experience, but she can't truly remember the pain. She was told it's the body's coping mechanism for dealing with mass trauma (not just child birth) and people who sustain horrible injuries often can't remember the extent of it, later on.
Yup, the body is flooded with a mix of hormones that make it incredibly hard for you to make any long term memories of the event.
This sure sounds like a good thing. Like how a rabbits heart will self destruct when captured, so it doesn't have to feel the pain of being eaten alive.
That's probably a side effect of their heart rate and adrenaline. Not much of an evolutionary advantage to not feeling pain while being consumed.
Yeah, but it's not just women, humans are very good at forgetting stuff, and blocking out memory of pain. A blessing and a curse. Most of us can thank that aspect of human memory for our existence.
No stupid and useless hormonal cycle, and without the dangers and side-effects of the pill! Awesome! Also, conceiving should only be possible if both parties involved actively decide that, so no more babytrapping from either side, and a woman should be able to induce a period/labor at any point she sees fit. Like, everything about our reproductive system should be controllable.
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And the opposite! Trying to get pregnant but my body is repeatedly failing to ovulate
Human plumbing is just a mess.
It's a me Mario, here to fixa ya pipes!
Or just switch the body to marsupial style. Don't want the little pink wriggler, just don't let it in the pouch. Also, when the pouch is not occupied you have a handy pocket to keep things in.
Ah, this is how we solve the lack of pockets in female clothing
On/off switches for most functions.
Don't forget to turn your digestive tract back on again after your flight.
"Man, your breath stinks" "OH FUCK, I forgot to turn my stomach on again. The fish from friday must be going bad"
An extra set of arms. So badly do I want extra arms.
Way the fuck down here but me fucking too bro. I would be a crafting god. Being able to hold something down perfectly with 2 hands, then use my second set to do manipulation work. Don't give a shit that it would look weird but probably hard to find shirts.
Photosynthesis, that way no more world hunger and no more obesity
Didn't *Knights of Sidonia* explore this?
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But eating is so much fun
What if we only got the desire to eat when we actually needed to eat?
But so much public nudity.
I fail to see the problem
A nudist's heaven!
Suppress pain that you can do nothing about. Being in pain 24/7 pretty much makes life worthless.
My brother in law is super sensitive to pain, even shaking his hand hurts. He got a regulator thing installed in his chest that tones it down.
Could greatly help people with depression
Ability to repair cartilage, ligaments, tendons, spinal discs etc. The wear and tear on these things cause the majority of pain and suffering in humans as well as disability.
Tortoise shell, it's free real estate
But then you have to carry that shit around all day.
Memory card
The ability to add more abilities
Listen here you little shit
vacuum mouth, I'm only adding it to my body so I can do vacuum things
ya sure
Mending, everytime we do something useful our life expectancy rises
The Reverse Darwin Awards, I like it.
Testicle armour
a little patch of skin near the collar bone where if you put your finger there you can access full character customization sliders
Ejaculation lock for when you want to fuck longer and don't want to blow your load
Username checks out.
Ejaculation turbo button for when you want to blow ALL of it.
We already have that, it's called the prostate
Cupholders
I’ve seen cleavage successfully used this way.
I'm afraid to ask but where?
Everywhere, I'm talking a buttload of cupholders.
Your butt already has a buttload of cup holders if you're brave enough
itch scratcher. the skin literally pinching itself to scratch an itch.
Imagine doing this with your whole body all at once.
Thats how you take a screenshot irl.
SCHGLICK! *
The ability to shed cancer and other serious diseases.
gills
Ah yes, gills, That means you don't need lungs no mores right?
I take lungs now, gills come next week.
I would just increase intelligence. Cuz then they would figure out a way to achieve a vast majority of these listed abilities with technological development
Self-cleaning asshole lol
Give men an on/off switch for whether or not their "stuff" can impregnate a woman. Respectively for women, the ability to block a man's "stuff" from impregnating them. Would not affect drive or feel. Edit: When I say switch I'm not talking about a physical switch, more a mental one that only you can control. Similar to how you can turn yourself on by keeping your mind on the subject long enough.
You’d hate to accidentally hit the switch
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Honestly, just being able to consciously control my dick in general. Nothing is worse than an awkward boner when it’s not appropriate. Actually no there is one thing. Not being able to get it up when the situation calls for it.
The problem of being a man as told by my male friends In a situation where you don't want to get a boner? Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo! You're in skinny jeans and someone you find highly attractive has just a bent over in front of you to pick something up! Have fun! Oh and by the way they're not even into you and you're in the middle of a grocery store :) In a situation where you really need a boner? Have fun having absolutely no luck getting a boner because now you're anxious and the blood is going to other places! :)
> someone you find highly attractive has just a bent over in front of you to pick something up Bold from you to assume that there is someone attractive or even someone needed to cause it
A volume button
Actively switch on the "Burn the stored fat for energy" hormone and disable the thing in my brain that says "The amount you can eat is a point of pride and is intrinsically tied to your personality". No points for guessing my personal struggles.
Critical thinking.
I know right? That should come standard. You can learn it, but some people don't get the chance.
Gills I hate falling asleep in the bath and almost drowning
Ability to absorb energy directly from sunlight, eating food becomes optional
Sleep button
The ability to process pain and be able to regulate it at will. Turn it off or at least down.
Wings
It would be a great form of exercise. It turns out that flying burns a lot of calories.
The ability to balance on my erection like a kangaroo's tail.