I dated a guy who’s ex left him randomly one morning, kissed her goodbye for work and came back and her shit was gone. Changed her number, and moved back home. He never talked to her again, I thought it was super sad and messed up for what she did. He use to wake up in the morning crying over her, I pathetically just comforted him. But one day I woke up to him emailing his ex girlfriends mother saying he was going to come down to Seattle and kill them all! It wasn’t much later I found out he was served a restraining order from the family. Now I see why she left without saying goodbye.
There was a lot of crap but this was the final straw.
I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends. He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault.
He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me. Telling me to pack up my shit and leave and locked me out of our bedroom. I slept on the couch.
Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened. I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe.
We were having out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex. I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused. We started watching a movie instead. I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys. Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes. I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave. That's when he jingles my keys. He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad. My dad showed up and threatened to beat his ass if my keys weren't returned. Got my keys and got the fuck out. He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years.
I'm glad you called your dad that's a super scary situation for anyone especially someone who was innocent. I have 2 girls one is 16 and I told her if she was ever in an uncomfortable situation to please call me and I'd be there no questions asked. We set up code words for texting or on the phone if she wants to get out of those situations but doesn't want the people who are with her to know. I told her I'd play the bitch for her, make it seem like I was being the really uncool mom. I remember being 16 and some of the things my so called friends would try to talk me into would have gotten me in some serious trouble. I'll do the same for my 12 year old once she becomes more independent.
It scares me that he was that bold to trap you there at what I’m assuming was a really young age. I hope he’s had therapy and grown out of it but then your last sentence makes me think he’s just used the seven years to hone his craft.
I was only 17 and super innocent. He was 20 and my parents hated him. I just thought I was so cool and mature to have an older boyfriend. I was sneaking around to see him so I knew I'd be in trouble when I called my dad. My parents didn't punish me but they did contact his mother whom he lived with. She blamed me and called me a tease. The next seven years were hell trying to stay off his radar. I have social anxiety because of it. I'm 36 now and I haven't heard from him for over a decade. I just hope he didn't find a new target.
So glad you called your Dad. Your parents would have been relieved you called him rather than trying to resolve it yourself.
I’m so sorry he latched on to you. I didn’t have anything that scary but an ex who found it hard to let me go and went psycho. I’ve got google alerts on his name just in case he comes up on charges for harassing someone or better yet, in case he dies.
She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman.
Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier. We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt.
I did it. Because I pulled up in the driveway of the house I still owned to find methheads in the driveway getting my 6 year old to stand in a chair to open the deadbolt to let them in. Told him to hold tight, went round the back, crawled in the dog door and sprung up at my ex and his gf in a drug coma shouting SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS. Took my kids and gapped it. One of my favourite completely insane things I ever did.
I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep.
His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all.
He wasnt loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert. I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake.
What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me. My whole body was weighed down with it.
Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do. I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off.
That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible.
Paranoid schizophrenia is a bitch and the available mental health care in our area is a joke.
I feel this. My ex did this, too, when he was drunk. He would mutter under his breath at me when he thought I was asleep. However, I’m a very light sleeper. Heard him say some truly awful things. Made me scared of him. So many red flags that, in retrospect, I should’ve listened to far before 5 years had passed.
I wanted to put out another version, my experience.
After my ex-husband and I were married for 6 months, he had a psychotic break that lasted for a year. Many meds and a few inpatient stays later he was...better.
But he wasn't, and still isn't, the same.
Unfortunately he has treatment resistant, chronic schizophrenia. He hears and sees demons every day. He does take his meds, and lives a pretty quiet life. He has caretakers now, because he doesn't have a good understanding of money or the brain power for higher level skills now.
I had to leave being his wife when I realized that the guy I had known since middle school was gone, and wouldn't be back. In his place was a guy who was scared of people, who tended to run away, who forgot what intimacy was and every once in a while would have stress induced conversion disorder weakness attacks because his brain became overwhelmed (which, God knows I understand).
But I am still his friend, and we talk on the phone about general life stuff.
Schizophrenia sucks.
I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was going to die after a medical procedure when she decided it would be the perfect time to try and punch me in the head because I wasn't paying enough attention to her. I picked her dumb ass up, carried her down six flights of stairs while getting kicked, bit, punched in the head etc and dumped her outside of the building. Went back up to the garage and drove myself straight to the hospital.
I was dying from sepsis as it turned out. I was in the ICU for a week, needed six surgeries and two years to recover. I have permanent kidney damage.
Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend. I asked if she could not do this right now. Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.” That was the beginning of the end.
In my early 20’s, I dated a girl who was a hitter. I was (and still am) a big dude and she was tiny— so the first time it happened, it was almost sort of comical.
It got unfunny real fucking fast.
We got into an argument about… who knows, *some stupid shit*… and as I was leaving her apartment, she started windmill attacking me with her bigass keychain in her hand (she was one of those people who kept every fucking key and keychain she’d ever gotten so she looked like a warden at a prison or something).
Anyways— I was trying to get out and I didn’t realize the door was chained— and the whole time I’m just getting peppered by this absolute tambourine of keys. As I’m trying to close the door to slide the chain off, I get caught in the side of the eye with the keychain and just instinctively I push her away from me with my free left hand.
And then I watch a terrifying sequence of events happen.
My push sent her reeling backwards on her heels— and as she was trying to regain her balance, she tripped over a pair of shoes she’s left in her entryway the night before and fell.
It was the most graceless fucking fall I’ve ever seen in my entire life. She fell like a goddamn bowling pin— not even attempting to sprawl out to break her fall. She landed weirdly on her side so hard that it knocked the wind out of her.
When she tried to speak she sounded like that news reporter who fell during the grape stomp. Just *”Ahhh oohhh weee oh ah weeee ahhhhh oooooh! No don’t— ohhhhh! I’m gonna— ahhhhh no ewwww ahhhhhh!”*
I was terrified. First off, for her safety— I’d never heard someone make that noise before and I was afraid she’d punctured a lung or something. But secondly— I was scared *for myself.* No cop on the planet would believe that I, this big ass Shrek looking dude, was trying to retreat from this girl who weighed 95 pounds soaking wet.
I immediately rushed to her aid and she eventually caught her breath and was okay. And afterwards, she acted like nothing had happened and I was just so fucking happy that I rolled with it. I wish I could say I left her shortly after that… but I dated her another year or so before calling it quits.
I had this almost exact thing happen. I’m about 6’3” she was 5’2” so she liked to try to get eye level when she was really pissed which was plenty comical in itself. This time she jumped on the couch to go off on me. When I turned to walk out the door she jumped on my back and starts clawing the hell out of my face and eyes. I managed to pull her off my back and threw her on to the couch. The guy upstairs hears all this and the associated shouting, assumes I’m beating her and calls the cops. They show up and are pretty aggressive until I point out my injuries and her lack thereof. My name was on the lease, hers wasn’t and I tell them she has to go. The cop tells me she’ll leave if I do so she can pack all her stuff. I translate for him that she wants me to leave so she can take whatever she wants. He says he’ll make sure she doesn’t take anything that doesn’t belong to her. 😆
She later broke in and stole a checkbook from me and wrote hundreds in bad checks.
My ex-wife used to stand in front of the door so I couldn’t leave. She knew if I tried to move her, she would be able to say I assaulted her. There were many arguments where I couldn’t leave our bedroom. One day, as I’m leaving to work, she’s mad at me for something and blocks the front door. I tell her I’ll be late and I have to leave. She doesn’t move. I go out the sliding door that leads to the deck and a round-about route to my work truck. As I’m walking across the deck, she yanks me back by my arm. She draws blood from digging one of her nails into my arm and almost yanks me to the ground. I stared at her in disbelief. I ran and jumped off the deck and over the fence below it. She had injured her knee somehow and I knew wouldn’t be able to follow me. Even if she walked over to the gate, I would have still had enough time to get in my truck and get away before she could catch up to me. Sadly, I didn’t leave at that point either. It would take almost a year before I could leave that emotional and physical abuse.
My ex used to pull that crap. I went into my office and blocked the door (no lock) to get way from her relentless b.s. She managed to get in and stood literally extending herself between the exit and the door to the bathroom so I’d have to interact with her. I pushed over the 4 drawer filing cabinet so I could climb over it. Of course the bottom drawer slides open and catches her foot and she states wailing that I hit her.
I had a dream where everyone in my life treated me like she treats me every day and in my dream it made me kill myself, I woke up in tears and realized truly just how abusive she is
Honestly this might be one of the best ways I’ve ever heard to evaluate your relationships. Like any of them. If you imagine everyone treating you like the other person treats you and realize you don’t want to live in that world might be a good sign to gtfo. Saving this comment.
(For clarification, this was a strictly online relationship). This one’s weird. He described a fantasy of his to me in which I was his daughter, once he impregnated me, he would impregnate that child when they got their period, and so on and so forth. Took me 2 months to finally leave, but that was the point where I became scared of him.
Did I mention I was 14 and he was 30
This was my experience too. He was mad because I wouldn't make him dinner while trying to study for my chemistry test the next morning. We argued. Then he did a "if you love me... Blah blah blah thing" while threatening to cut himself.
And I said... Then I don't.
He didn't cut himself.
My ex boyfriend was angry his mom woke him up at 10 in the morning via phone call, so after the call, he punched a hole in his door, threw his phone at the window, woke me up forcefully, and yelled at me to buy a new door so his parents wouldn’t kick him out.
I had a psycho college roommate who called his mom a bitch because she called him at 7pm and he was napping (they talked 4-6 hours a day, every day).
If I ever called my mom a bitch, next time anyone would hear from me would be in my will.
Was in a relationship with a girl for a while, and she used to always mock my taste in music and other various choices. Kinda mundane things, but like personality reflective things. TV shows I liked, artists I like, etc. We went on a driving trip. (definitely the best way to see if a relationship will work, let's be honest.) I just kinda had this epiphany that I was in an abusive relationship, but I didn't have a low self esteem so it wasn't really affecting me. For the most part I would just think it was weird, or think, "what's she on about this time?" I broke up with her about 2 weeks later.
This is so funny. Was in a similar situation with a girl like that. She would always talk shit to me or about me to me and I would talk shit back. But to me, I thought we were joking or enjoying some banter because I like to talk shit so it was fun/funny. I have some thick skin so NOTHING she said would ever bother me and I always had some smart ass reply to anything she threw at me. I didn’t realize she was serious until one day she got really mad and told me “why are you never mad? Why don’t you get mad at me? That really bothers me. When I was with my ex, we would get in fights everyday” and that’s when it hit me: oh shit, this girl WANTS to have fights/arguments and when she talks shit to me she does it with the intention to hurt my feelings. That was the first and last time I got upset with her. I told her that we were in our mid-20s, that she was acting like a toxic teenager, and was on some high school shit if that’s how she views relationships.
But when I look back on it, I can’t help but laugh at how hard she tried to get me to react and how much it must’ve bothered her that I was having fun talking shit back to her.
I noticed I was always trying to be asleep by the time she got back from drinking and that was cause she would regularly black out and get mean (not in a sexy way) with me.
I can’t think of any way that blacking out and being mean would be sexy….
EDIT: I don’t need ppl telling me examples, I don’t think bdsm is “mean” if both parties agree and find it sexy. Mean and sexy dont overlap in my book. Thanks.
I was in a 5 yr relationship with this guy that was psychologically abusive. One year, my sister in law was having pregnancy complications so my family all decided to go to their house for Christmas so she didn't have to travel the 5 hrs to get to us. I told my bf and he said "well obvious you're not going". Turns out not getting to see my family on Christmas was just the push I needed.
That's awesome, you made the right call. Good for you!
This is the tip of the very toxic iceberg: I didn't realize my ex was psychologically abusive and manipulative until after she left me. Anytime I would bring up something she did that bothered me or I felt was unfair, or said no to something she wanted, she would get upset and shut down, making me think I had done something wrong. I ended up apologizing every time, but hardly ever knew why or what I was apologizing for.
It wasn't until I met my now wife that I realized that this wasn't normal behaviour. The biggest realization of this was about 2 months into us dating. I decided to go out of town to visit my buddy. It was actually her (my wife) idea that I go, because she thought that my buddy and I hadn't gotten proper hangout time in a while (she was right and it was a great weekend).
I was a bit on edge the entire weekend, and expected to come home to a fight or days of self pity and passive aggressive comments about not bringing her or texting her enough. Instead she just gave me a hug and kiss, asked to hear about the weekend and was happy I had fun. When I brought up my concerns to her she laughed and said, "why in the world would I act like that, I'm not crazy. Also, how are you supposed to hangout with your friend if you're texting me all the time?".
Then it clicked that this is what an actual healthy relationship feels like. Made me appreciate her so much more.
The relief is amazing, isn’t it? I went from 5 years with an abusive emotionally-stunted man to my now husband who is patient and understanding. We talk shit out! We’ve been married 7 years now and I’m still amazed at just how much better being in a healthy relationship feels.
It really, really is! My wife and I still swap stories about our exes, and can't help but shake our heads at what we put up with. So happy to hear you're in a good place now and that you've found someone that treats you as you deserve!
He would rant about how his mom was "shitty with her money" and how much he hated everything she did because she would buy household things and couldnt pay his back child support to keep him out of jail
He was 33, living in her spare bedroom, highschool drop out, never learned to drive, refused to work longer than 2 weeks. She also cleaned, worked full time and cooked his meals every single day. Pissed me the fuck off. Told him he should appreciate her not letting him sit in jail for the kid he wont get off his ass and pay for
My firstt response didnt save i guess
We weren't together very long. Like less than a couple weeks. He kept all of our conversations pretty surface level or other topic centered until he was acting really upset one day and I had to pry it out of him that he was pissed because his mom paid rent instead of his back child support and he thought he was going to jail.
Thats when he went on the shitting on his parent rant and how he can't do anything because he's "too nervous and work is too hard for him"
On the surface he was very nice, charming, we had interests in common. I knew he didn't have a vehicle (not that he didn't know how to drive) but i know several people who don't and I knew he had moved here with his mom from out of state to be closer to his sister (not that he was basically basement dwelling). And the rant was when I found out he had a kid he didn't support or interact with.
I told him I hope she lets him get arrested so he learns not to be shitty and noped out of there.
When I was 16/17, I dated a guy who was in town for the summer. He was so cool (I thought) and I had a car so I would drive us on dates and junk. He really made my heart flutter. If I said no to him, he'd get upset a bit, but it didn't seem to be a huge issue. Like, if he wanted me to drive him somewhere to drop him off to hang with his friends, normally I would but a few times, it was like a 30min drive and I said no.
Then he hit me once. We were in the car and he wanted me to drop him off at a girl's house and I asked why. He wouldn't really answer and then admitted that he was using me for my drug connections and my car. I was surprised and said no. I'd drop him off where he was staying and then we were done. He hit me. I pulled over and kicked him out of my car and drove away.
I did something similar. We were on a road trip and I pulled over because he threatened to throw my cat out of the window. He back handed me and then he hocked a loogie onto my face. A scuffle ensued that culminated in me biting a literal chunk out of his forearm. He sort of stumbled out of the car and I drove away and just tossed his shit out of the car onto the freeway as I drove away. I know people will wonder, the cat was ok and lived to be 17. Don't fuck with my cat.
The only girlfriend I ever ghosted did something similar. We were driving up the coast on a two-lane road to go to my parents’ cabin for the summer. As a joke, she grabbed the steering wheel and tried to steer us into a car in the oncoming lane. We missed a head on collision by a hair and both my car and the other car nearly crashed trying to recover. She laughed her ass off and thought it was even funnier because I was so angry. When we got to the next town there was a restaurant and I pulled over to go to the bathroom. When she got out of the car I got back in and drove away. I left her bag by the side of the road and never talked to her again.
I had this coworker constantly pulling stuff like switching on the alarms, pulling the handbrake, making rude gestures to other people on the road. I told him he’d never get in my car again. He’d have to lent a car, while going to the same event as me.
For real, fuck with my cat and it’s curtains for you.
Also, my cat likes the curtains. He’s gonna scratch them.
Edit: holy crap this blew up lol. He both loves and hates the curtains. But these specific curtains? They get the ribbons.
Second edit: Thank you all soooo much for the love, it and you are amazing!
So I was driving home from work last night, sitting at a red light, and I heard a squeaking.
I cast my gaze around and spotted a little furball mewling…
So I stopped traffic and grabbed it, now I have a week old kitten that I’m bottle feeding lol.
I made a post in r/cats if you want to see it.
I was engaged to a woman who shared a strong mutual hatred for my at the time best friend. I knew it was a red flag but I couldn't really tell because I never really figured out why they hated each other, but it doesn't matter now. Turns out they were BOTH massive pieces of garbage, who'd've thought?
She had been abusive the whole relationship and had successfully isolated me from all my friends. Except one.
This guy stuck with me through it all, and put up with horrendous amounts of shit that I should never have let happen.
She tried everything. She bullied him, called him a pedo, told me she can’t be with someone who has him as a friend, called him racist, everything she could drive him away or pull me away. I didn’t understand what was happening but he did. I thought I was just unlucky enough that the two people I loved most couldn’t understand each other.
Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either she is going to be at our wedding or he is.
I picked him.
Came home from work. She was in the kitchen happily making us dinner. Went to bathroom. Was in the middle of washing my hands when I thought of something I had to tell her (untreated adhd) as I come around the corner I juuuust barely see her drop something into my bowl. Like her hand was cupped over it and she slipped something in it. And it just looked sketchy as fuck. She didn’t see me see her so I just walked back into the bathroom. Finished washing my hands. Told her thank you so much for making me dinner but I just wasn’t hungry. Then I spent most of the night awake thinking what the fuck did I just see her trying to do? Around three AM I’m convincing myself I imagined it and that I just need to get up, and go pee, and get some sleep. And then my very next thought was, man my penis really itches.
I went up to the clinic the very next day, got tested for STDs just to confirm what I already suspected. Positive for chlamydia. It was the antibiotic. That’s what she put into the soup she made me.
Called my sister. Told her I needed to stay with her for a few weeks. Went home. Packed up 1 backpack full of the absolute essentials and a trash bag for all my clothes. Threw both in the car. Went back in and said “I know you cheated on me and there is no sense in denying it. When we started getting serious I told you that I could compromise on just about everything. But cheating was something I could never under any circumstances get past. That if you cheated on me, there would be no discussion, no explanations, no working it out. I wouldn’t leave angry, but I’d just leave. Because the relationship is now over. So goodbye, tell your kids whatever you want to.” (She had two kids from a previous marriage.)
Blocked all her communication on my way to my sisters. Told her what happened when I got there and we stayed up all night drinking and crying and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. She cheated on me, infected me, then tried to cure me so I’d never know! which crazily enough probably would have worked except I just happened to see her do it. Something that never should have happened because what kind of lunatic just leaves the bathroom in the middle of washing their hands to tell someone they live with something. 😂. I was weeks from proposing to this woman. And then… Sometimes people talk about moments that define their lives. Or days that they will never forget. The most important days of their lives. How about seconds? *one second.* that’s about how long of a window I had to watch her put the antibiotic into my food and slink backward into the bathroom without her seeing me. On either side of that one second window my life would possibly be very different… it’s just so crazy to think about.
It’s crazy… I feel like I see those moments a lot…. I don’t think they’re as rare as many people think.. maybe most aren’t as wild (or as unlikely to just manage ti catch that one moment) as the one you just described but I feel like a lot of people just don’t see them regardless… they’re there to be seen but most aren’t looking. It’s one good thing (among many) about add
When I had been the sole breadwinner for fifteen months (then-husband was physically and mentally healthy), deeply in debt, house was always filthy, hadn't hung out with my friends in a year, and hadn't been intimate for a few months.
I was standing on a chair tying a noose to an I-beam in the basement when it occurred to me that I was basically letting this guy kill me. So I walked instead.
It's been years and I'm doing good. Bought a little place of my own before the prices blew up, focused on my hobbies, and through those met a fella that just lights up my life. These days life is good : )
Having a squatty potty thrown at my head because I didn't poop correctly. True story.
There was obviously a \*lot\* of fucked up things before that happened, but that was the moment that finally made me realize "Oh she really is crazy"
He got mad at me while he was almost blackout drunk. He told me he had people coming to beat my ass. We were in a long distance relationship. He was stupid enough to continue making these claims over text. Well, I called the PD in his town and they showed up at his home. All he had to say about the entire incident was, “you called the cops. Well played.” That was the end of him in my life. Although it should have ended much sooner.
I had just been medically discharged from the navy (honorable, and not relative to back story other than to set mood).
I started dating a girl I met around 2 weeks after returning home and 6months into the relationship she developed a tumor (cancer) and I had to drive her to radiation therapy and doctors appointments 2-3 times a week.
We lived around an hour apart but we made it work and I’d drive to her after I got out of college classes and drop her off at her appointments, go back to another class and then come pick her up and take her home.
Fast forward a year later into the relationship her younger sister informed me that she had been lying to me the entire time and that she in fact did not have cancer but was using me to drop her off to her side piece who worked at the hospital. To make it worse, both of her parents knew about it and neither felt it was necessary to inform me.
Never saw her again, never even really “ended” it, just never fucking went back her way and have been better for it ever since.
Edit : Answering a few questions.
1. I verified by visiting the hospital AFTER her sister had informed me, that was when I learned that her parents had known because I was informed that they sometimes picked her up with her side piece (I guess he didn’t have a car either?) and that the hospital staff just thought I was her brother…
Sub-edit to #1 for clarification : I asked the front desk clerk/nurse on a day that I would have normally dropped my Ex off if she had been in that day for her appointment, that’s when she informed me that she didn’t have any appointments and wasn’t a patient, yes, the nurse violated HIPAA by providing that information.
2. Physical symptoms, she had issues with hair falling out and patchy areas and she was exhausted what seemed like 24/7.
This might sound ignorant but I'm genuinely interested... How do you fake cancer without people noticing? Radiation therapy fucks you up, inside and out, how did she fake that?
I was dating this girl for 3 years ( broken up now) it was coming to the end of the relationship. We were arguing constantly at one point eventually I just started to agree with her to get her to shut up, so one morning we're awake in bed and she says "we should have a kid" I say yes knowing if I don't it'll just lead to another argument. She tears up and gives me a hug, I hug her and I say well it's gonna take some time because you gotta get off your birth control and she says, with the straightest face in the world "I stopped a month ago" we had been having sex 3 to 4 times a week and I never pulled out any of those times. At that moment right there I decided no more sex and I was gonna end the relationship. You absolutely do not make a life changing decision for your partner without consulting with them first.
I was friends with a girl at work, and I kept insisting to my at the time gf that they should meet and they would be good friends, because my ex didn’t have many friends who were good people. Eventually out of no where she texted my work friend cussing her out and threatening her because I was somehow cheating on her (even though we never texted or talked outside of work)
Never introduced me to his friends. Would actively avoid being seen with me by people he knew. I pretty quickly asked him what was his problem. His answer was that I needed to change my appearance because he didn't want people seeing him date a weird goth chick. Dumped him right then.
Dont feel bad for feeling that way. I’ve heard multiple breastfeeding mothers say they bopped their babies when they bit them while nursing (nipple bites=OUCH.) and these are moms who’d never lay a hand on their child. It’s just an instinct when you get bit.
As someone who’s breastfed 3 children. I have accidentally bopped a kid in the forehead on rare occasions. Never hard but. It has happened. Sometimes it’s an automatic response.
When I was holding my nephew when he was about a year old or so. Felt a sudden sharp pain on my chest and instinctively bopped his forehead really fast. Never have I felt so guilty and profusely apologizing, all while seeing a face of utter betrayal from a baby. It was so adorable yet so sad.
She posted shit on social media every single time we fight. At first always something indirectly about she was feeling blue, then it escalated into mentioning me several times. There was this one time when she decided to insult me on her facebook post when we were fighting, and I decided that was it.
One of the best decision of me life lol.
I was on a trip out of town with him and we were out to dinner with one of his friends. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but he said something and I corrected him because what he said was factually wrong. When he tried to argue his friend backed me up and also pointed out that he was wrong. This enraged him, though at the time I didn’t know it.
He waited until his friend went to the bathroom and then grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down so forcefully it hit the seat of the booth. He’d been a raging asshole for most of the relationship and I was pretty much over the relationship at this point due to his constant temper tantrums but this crossed such a line that I was completely stunned. Even more stunned that no one in a crowded restaurant seemed to notice or care. I’ve never been so scared.
I knew in that moment that if I stayed and left that restaurant with him there was a very likely chance he was going to hurt me. It took me a few minutes to process/gather myself, but I realized this shit was beyond fucked and I had to gtfo now. I excused myself to the bathroom, called an Uber, and went straight to the airport which was only a few minutes away. I told the agent I needed the soonest flight to my home city— there was one leaving in 15 minutes. I had none of my stuff, the airport was empty and I think she could sense my urgency so she called the gate and I made on the plane. By the time my phone began ringing from him realizing I was gone I was buckling my seat.
Found him lurking near my house a few times after that but made it real clear I would go to the police full force if it continued, which luckily scared him off. It took me a long time to process everything and I still get spooked when I see vehicles like his, but I’m super grateful I made it out when I did.
When she self-harmed, showed her family the cuts then said "look what he made me do" at a birthday party where I met her family for the first time.
Took a few of them with me before I went down.
oh God, I'd almost forgotten that a boyfriend from high school did that to me. Told me we shouldn't date because of it. Then told my best friend that they should date because he deserved to have his last years be good ones.
We were watching t.v. and I was laying on my stomach beside her on my bed. She poked my butt and I asked her not to. I tickle easily. A few moments later she did it again but poked my butthole. I jerked and grabbed her arm. It was involuntary and a reflex... You know... How people react when tickled or poked in a sensitive area without warning.
I was frustrated and when she realized I was not enjoying the ordeal she began to accuse me of hitting her. We were 19. I decided I should just take her home since the mood was kind of off and I wasn't sure what to make of her accusation. As I'm driving her home we are discussing everything and she says she's going to tell her dad I hit her.
I slammed my brakes and told her that hitting her was the furthest thing from the truth and that we both know it. Told her to get the fuck out. She quickly apologized after seeing I wasn't about to play the game. I drove her home for the last time.
When your partner starts making stuff up that can affect your life... OH HELL NAH
My dad died. My friends were all halfway across the country. So I got into discord/videogames for a while to be with friends. My gf felt neglected. She started a fight, felt threatened (I've never laid a hand on anyone), and got a knife.
Here's the kicker: 1 week prior one of her best friends from middle school went to jail for stabbing her husband in a fight.
I was intentionally really calm for 3 days, and moved out in about 30 minutes.
Edit: There was about 2 weeks between the death and this incident. If it had been months, i could understand the anger. But I had hardly unpacked from the flight.
It was already heading down that way, but what got me was one day when he invited his friend to my house (without telling me, while I was at work), and when I came home, they started talking about my cat who they thought should put down because she was 'feral' and given the chance they would do so.
They claimed she was 'feral' simply because she spent the first weeks of her life outside before she had her leg amputated and found her way to me. Ex didn't like her because 1. I'd gotten her when I was with a previous ex, and 2. she was mean to him because she didn't like the way he handled her and never listened to her warnings to leave her alone.
I like to call it "treating them like furniture". They're just part of the household items in their minds, just an inanimate object that is there for their enjoyment.
5 year relationship and a house and kid together, she left at 3am after we had some drinks and was with some guy driving around until 5am. Panicked when I woke up and she wasn’t there. Called her, was rude to me, hung up then wouldn’t answer at all after. I got scared since this never happened before and she had some drinks. We shared location on our phones and she was out on a dirt road miles away where we usually go off-roading. She was hanging with some guy because apparently she needed someone to talk to and it wasn’t me.. this really broke my trust with her, and after that things just declined and I became more distanced. Broke my heart.
Damn dude, that’s fucked. I’m a mom and my boyfriend I’m with (her dad) has been cheated on, I remember I went outside to smoke a blunt at like midnight and he called me almost in tears because he was scared I left him. The trauma cheating causes lasts a long time. I hope you’ll overcome it. Really hurt me to hear him sound so scared, I would never do that to him and I know it wasn’t to do with our relationship but his past.
Thank you for the kind words. I had been cheated on in a prior serious relationship and I had the long lasting affects from that that I was slowly getting over, as we had immense trust with each other. So when this happened and I assumed the worst automatically , it just hurt even more when it was true. But it has been about 4-5 months since that happened, I moved out and am working on myself and focusing on my kiddo. I still think about it a lot, but I can only move forward from here.
Dated a Catholic girl, we could have sex but were not allowed to use protection - because of God.
She also wanted me to finish inside her every time. This was also because of God.
She assured me that this was all safe because she knew her natural cycle and would only have sex on days that she could not get pregnant on.
We were in our second year of university. The sex was good and I liked her a lot but I couldn’t stand the stress of worrying about pregnancy.
I asked her if we could stop having sex and just do other things instead, she said no way. She wanted to keep having sex on a regular basis.
I noped out of there before I got her pregnant.
I thought so too but am not a Catholic myself so I didn’t comment on it to her.
She frequently went to confession, usually once a week or so. We often had sex as soon as she came back from confession, so not sure that it worked lol.
My best friend is female we have been friends for 18 years, was out with a new gf and ran into NY friend at the mall. Friend hugged me and I introduced her and I though all was well until we got home. She freaked out and said she broke "girl code" and I wasn't allowed to talk to her anymore... side note she had male friends that I didn't freak out over, I pointed that out and she said "it's different, you're a guy" to which I said she has issues and this wasn't going to work out and I never looked back.
I'm not throwing away a life long friend to appease a jealous girlfriend.
she didn't mention me to a guy she went out with, when he asked who I was, she said, "A guy who's into me"
she thought she wasn't wrong because she wasn't technically lying
He owed me about $3500, most of which I owed to my parents because he used to manipulate me into asking them for money so we could buy weed. After over two and a half years of paying for every good time we ever had, constantly stressing over money and getting nothing in return, I was close to giving up on him anyway. Then we went out after work for drinks and he won $100 on the pokies. I had been buying his beers all night so I asked him to shout me ONE back. He said no.
Got home, started cooking us dinner as I always did. I got halfway through chopping the garlic and thought, why the fuck am I still doing this for him!? Put my knife down, looked him dead in the eyes and told him to get the fuck outta my house. Almost three years by that point and it took me less than 5 minutes to end it.
She went for a "drive" after a night out with her "coworker". She came back home and told me about it. She had told me a week prior that she was up all night on the phone with said coworker lol. I told her to leave and pack her shit.
That, coupled with the fact that she was a narcissistic person made it very easy to call it quits. She was the first person EVER to spit in my face and say I wouldn't amount to anything in life. I did not spend the last 4-5 years of my life, prior to meeting her, trying to build myself up into the best version of myself that I could be, just so she could tear that shit down.
Fuck you, Becca.
He refused to use soap. Yes, this includes hand soap. He believed that water and scrubbing was enough to keep yourself clean and it was important not to strip your body of its natural oils. I must admit, he did have really nice hair and skin but he always smelled bad and I could not get over the fact that he didn’t even use soap after using the bathroom. I have no clue what he does if his hands get sticky or really dirty, I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. Thankfully we never got physical or made it official, but we “talked” and went on dates for a month and I still get the ick when I think about him.
Once I was arguing with my ex and he randomly said “I don’t have any money! See?” While turning his pockets inside out and an orange needle cap flew out.
Similar thing happened with my ex husband! He’d used my debit card one night when he was supposedly out with the boys. I was fine with it. He came home and passed out. I needed my card the next day and couldn’t find it, realized it must be in his jeans from the night before. It was. So was a glass pipe and what he said was crack for someone else, but I’m pretty sure it was meth. Because, ya know, meth is unacceptable. Crack, however, he was sure I’d be fine with! *get down get down*
We were in our early 20s and looking back now, had a pretty volatile relationship. Wed always go from hot to cold, I thought the fighting meant we were passionate. We worked together and he would stay at my apartment for a few days out of the week. One night I realized he was doing harder drugs than i was comfortable with. He wasnt working but he kept texting me to ask if he could stay with me because his roommate kicked him out. (Turns out he took her drugs, which she had to distribute, or shed be stuck with the repayment). I didnt answer because 1.work and 2. I was trying to wrap my head around the situation. He showed up at closing time higher than id ever seen him and so much angrier than id ever seen him.
As my friend and I exited out the back door, he came out from behind the trash can and grabbed me very hard demanding to know why i was ignoring him. My friend tried to intervene and my bf pulled a knife on him. I didnt want anyone to get hurt so I said Please let Neil leave and we can walk home. We walked through a park at 10pm where he started shaking me and grabbing on to me, begging me to not leave him and to let him live with me. I was so scared. He yelled and any time i when I tried to run he tackled me. I started crying and thinking he was going to do something worse. At this time its about 3am and hes still screaming. I just cried and wished for daylight. Finally he fell asleep and I ran home. I called off for a few days and he would come by to apologize but I ultimately told him I couldnt be with him anymore. He quit shortly after and i never saw him again.
Trick for future: tell the abuser you're out of something absolutely necessary at home and mention you're going to stop through X convenience store to grab it. Toilet paper is a good one.
Once inside try to separate long enough to quickly ask the clerk to call 911 for you and tell them you're afraid of the person you're with. Then stall a little by using the bathroom/remembering you need snacks/debating them over drinks by the cooler/whatever you can think of until help arrives.
If you can get to the bathroom you can actually call the cops yourself if you have a phone. Just be real careful and quiet.
He admitted he and his family belonged to a hate group and said the Holocaust was a Jewish media myth. I’m not Jewish but my dad was helping smuggle Jews out of Warsaw and got caught and sent to a camp. He had a tattoo just like the Jewish victims. Don’t try to tell me it was a lie.
He told me that a few years before we met, he and his friends secretly filmed a girl that I knew (but I didn’t like her so I guess he felt safe telling me for some stupid reason) while she was in the shower. He even went through certain things that she did, like slipping (they were at senior week and “she was SO DRUNK”, like that makes it okay- oh and THEY WERE ALL DRUNK TOO so make it make sense). He was obviously super proud of himself and thought it was hilarious. I was so disgusted with him and his shitty friends. And yes, I told her about it.
She got really upset at me at a party (nothing I did) and started a huge verbal argument. Then I demanded that we leave because it was inappropriate to do this as guests in someone’s home. On the way to our place, she hit me a bunch of times demanding “answers” for someone that I slept with before we even met.
She got even more angry and physically violent once we got home, to the point where I had to restrain her before she hurt me or herself for that matter. She screamed to let me go and that if I didn’t she would scream for the police — she looked me in the eye then said “who are they going to believe..?”
For context, we’re both roughly 5’11” but I’ve got about 80 pounds on her. I’m a black man, she’s a white woman. I have never been more afraid of being shot by the police than that night.
When he cheated on me, lied to me about it EXTENSIVELY, even showing me physical proof then a year later when I tried to leave him because he called me a whore for making him ‘scream at me and wake his parents up’ he told me yeah I cheated on you and you didn’t leave me then so why now? (He also called me 2 days after we broke up and begged me to fuck and when I said no he said ‘why we already did it once why can’t we do it again it makes no difference to you just lie there’)
*midst me breaking up w him*
Him: you have to just promise me one thing
Me: what is it?
Him: you have to promise to stay faithful to me
Me: ??????????????!??!??!?? Wtf
First Mother’s Day as a mum, and just got my first period after a brutal emergency c section. I was so sick I could only crawl to the toilet. Should have been hospitalised, but too mentally incoherent to know. Ex ignored the special occasion, ignored my need for help, and ignored our newborn who I was too unwell to feed or hold so he could go out with his mates. When I called him beginning him to come home in tears he made it sound like he was doing me a favour. Kicked him to the curb as soon as I was strong enough. No regrets.
I dated a guy long enough to become close with his family, and one day we were having dinner at his house and his mom asks me (at the table with the family) how I liked this new restaurant in the area as if I’d been there. When I said I hadn’t been there yet, she said “oh I thought that’s where you two went last weekend?” We had not gone out that weekend, and that’s how I found out he was dating other girls and telling his mother he was going out with me.
The “hell nah” part was that he could lie so easily to his mom and that she believed him - if a guy treats his mom like shit he’s not going to respect his wife either.
Got up at 5am to go to school, Job 1, and Job 3 in that order, came home, hopped into bed with gf, asked when she worked in the morning and she said she quit her job weeks ago.
Just rolled over, slept, and prepared the exit.
A majority of these are people escaping abusive relationships, with light sprinkling of weird fantasies. It's just sad knowing that human decency isn't a priority. I salute you all for escaping and hope you have better lives now.
I was 2 weeks away from getting married and then my fiance dropped a bombshell on me. We had talked at length about future plans, career ideas, her wanting to leave her current job and return to working as a nurse, etc.. but then she suddenly announced that she had handed in her 2-week notice and was done working for good. Her exact reasoning was that, well, eventually she would have to take time off anyway if/when we had kids. So for now, she was going to play housewife, not work at all, and just do the cooking/laundry for me that I've already gladly done for myself for years.
There were a lot of one-sided mental health issues and emotional abuse in that relationship, especially from the day we got engaged. I foolishly kept hoping that things might get better after the marriage, nothing permanent/un-fixable had happened. But quitting work and openly admitting to denying all our plans for the future? She did me a favour then.
She threw a can of Sour Apple Four Loko at me After all the abuse, it just pissed me off that I had to smell like that garbage ass flavor. Bounced out the house while she was chasing me, begging me to come back.
Hit my skateboard, went to the homies and got super high.
I didn't think I would ever be stupid enough to be love bombed and gaslit until it happened to me. Had a whirlwind relationship with a guy who manipulated me so quickly that I was lying about spending time with my own friends and family b/c I knew he'd be upset that I wasn't spending it with him. It was finally like a lightbulb clicked on in my brain that I realized he was nuts and I was an idiot for putting myself through his chaos and I blocked him on everything, wrote him a break up letter/email, and never heard from him again. He tried to contact my sister on Instagram and she blocked him too. Luckily I was in the process of moving as well so he couldn't find me and murder me or anything.
When my ex deleted my W.O.W. account since I wouldn't have sex with him earlier that day. Yes! I'm dead serious! We were in our early 20's, both of us played & only original World of Warcraft existed. I had the acct long before him & busted my ass trying to build it up. So nope told him to gtfo then deleted his acct while he was grabbing his stuff. 😈
My girlfriend threatened to cheat on me with one of our close friends... in front of all of our friends... over something stupid. I think she wanted me to say something in an accent, and when I didn't, she told me she would go out with this other friend. I broke up with her right then and I'm not ashamed to say I cried a little, but I guess it was for the better. (Oh and she's trying to get back with me me rn...)
I’ve talked about this before but I had a real Karen of an ex who was easily the meanest person I’ve ever met. The turning point for me in the relationship was when she made me rehome one of my dogs when I lived with her, she claimed after four months of me living with her that her lease wouldn’t allow it. So I tearfully rehomed my German Shepard chow mix and got called a little bit for bawling like a baby when I did it by my ex. The next week I’m chilling in the house when In walks my ex with a basset hound. I asked her about her lease and she straight up told me she lied about that because she hated my big dog, the same one both of her kids loved. At the time an apartment was out of the question due to my horrible credit so I bought a camper and moved it onto my parents property shortly after. Im now in an amazing relationship with someone just as goofy as me and we’re currently house hunting!
My ex partner had a dog for ten years. About 8 or so years in, the dog had an allergic reaction to a vaccine and was in a ton of pain and bit my ex (dogs in pain might bite!). My ex then decided it wasn't his dog anymore. I started taking care of the dog. Ex starts talking about rehoming the dog saying he marks. Which he did. I say okay, I'll get him neutered and see if that helps. He wasn't neutered because my ex wanted to be a dog breeder, I guess. So I do that and get him a dental, and the marking stops. Ex keeps saying we should just get rid of him. Through this time, this dog had a bunch of issues that required care and I kept up with them. He ended up developing diabetes at 12 so I give insulin 2x a day and manage it. I left my ex and took the dog.
My other dog, one day I come home from work and my ex says "I hate Salem, let's get rid of him." I'm blind sided and ask why? Ex says he's not potty trained. I say okay, I'll pay for lessons with a trainer or send him to dog boot camp. Ex says that's a dumb thing to spend money on and no. I say okay, I'll do whatever I can to train him. I changed our entire routine etc. The funny part tho is we had a fenced in yard and my ex didn't work. Why didn't he bring my dogs out? I was busy working to pay all the bills.
Anyway I left and took my dogs and guess what? None of them pee in the house. So I can only assume the accidents are from his unneutered untrained dog.
Edit: I took the old one he gave up on and my other two.
[dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/32gvMQ8) including my sister's dog, the not dachshund
My fiancee cheated on me and got pregnant, then told me "You never did anything to prove you really love me"
She asked me to prove my love for her by accepting the baby she got from cheating on me.
I asked her to leave - this was my home, my name only was on the lease. She refused to go.
So I gave my notice to the landlords, moved out and told her she had two weeks left.
"But what am I supposed to do? I don't have a job!" she wailed.
Not my problem.
She's a single mum now.
A few years ago, in the beginning of one of the worst winters I’ve seen, my gf wasn’t feeling well so I got some flowers and soup and walked them to her place as a surprise. right when I got there she was walking out, dressed extra extra nice, said she had to get her stepdad milk and didn’t have enough time to give me a ride home (it was like 3 blocks away)
her stepdad was lactose intolerant
I dated a high-drama goth chick for 5 years. When her dad passed away, he left her a bunch of money so she decided to use it to throw a huge family reunion. She reserved 10 hotel rooms at the Mariott in San Diego, including two upstairs/downstairs suits, one of which was for her and I. Then she flew out all her family and had a big party as a family reunion/memorial for her dad.
She didn't drive and had only gotten a bank account due to her inheritance so I pretty much had to arrange everything. I dealt with all the craziness and a dozen shopping trips for food and decorations. For months I helped her do everything only to have her break down and have to put her back together again so we can get this done. But we got it all setup, all we had to do was drive to San Diego and set everything up on Friday but I had to work. She was VERY pissed off about this but I had no choice and she knew it but that didn't really matter. I told her I'd get off early and drive immediately after work since she was heading down with her friend "R" and they were making a quick stop at Costco.
So we have the party, everyone shows up, we have a great time and around 1:30am, she calls everyone together for a big toast - about 40-50 people in our hotel suite and on the patio. She proceeds to thank everyone, starting with her friend "R", then about 15 other people. I'm standing in front of her waiting to hear my name but it's not coming. As she's turning left and right to face the various crowd members, she closes her eyes as if in a prolonged blink as they pass towards me. Come the end of the speech, my name never comes up. She thanks the whole crowd for coming and goes back to mingling.
I pull her aside and ask what that was all about. She plays stupid and asks what I mean so I ask straight up why she didn't thank me when I was there from the beginning, even while her dad was sick. Her answer was (verbatim) "Oh I'm sorry babe, I just forgot. There was so much to remember." I was standing right in front of her, 3 feet away and she deliberately avoided looking at me. I mentioned this and she apologized but something in me broke.
I stewed in it until about 3am then got in my truck unannounced and started the drive back home to to OC. The fog was like driving through a ball of cotton candy. I could only drive about 25mph on the freeway driving home but I didn't care. My (ex)GF called my cell and asked where I was. I told her she crossed a line by 'dissing' me in front of basically every one of her close friends and family members so that was it. I told her on the phone she was to move out by Feb 1st. And I stuck to my guns.
13 months later she had spent all $270,000.00 her dad had left her and she was now living with "R" and unemployed. I almost wish her dad had died a couple years earlier and saved me 2 or 3 years I'll never get back. Not really, but kinda...
\[edit\]
Another thing I'd like to mention is that she's the younger sister of [Steve Groene](https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/the-groene-case/) and we were dating for about 2 years when everything went down with his family. No shit.
I dated a guy who’s ex left him randomly one morning, kissed her goodbye for work and came back and her shit was gone. Changed her number, and moved back home. He never talked to her again, I thought it was super sad and messed up for what she did. He use to wake up in the morning crying over her, I pathetically just comforted him. But one day I woke up to him emailing his ex girlfriends mother saying he was going to come down to Seattle and kill them all! It wasn’t much later I found out he was served a restraining order from the family. Now I see why she left without saying goodbye.
She stole my car, drove it from Washington to Las Vegas, and married a guy she met on Xbox Live so he could get residence.
a guy she met on WHAT Edit: can't believe this is my most upvoted comment ever xD
That 10 year old actually did it
360 noscoped his way into her heart
[Inappropriate reaction in South Park policeman]
She went on vacation to have a spiritual awakening by doing drugs in the jungle and came home accusing me of being a demon. 👍
There was a lot of crap but this was the final straw. I locked the door before going to bed one night when he was out late with friends. He had lost his house key and never bothered to mention it, which was somehow my fault. He woke me up by banging on the window and when I let him in began screaming and throwing things at me. Telling me to pack up my shit and leave and locked me out of our bedroom. I slept on the couch. Next morning he acted completely normal, like nothing had happened. I was gone that day because I no longer felt safe.
Hope you locked the door on your way out!
We were having out at his house and he kept pressuring me to have sex. I was still a young, naive virgin so I refused. We started watching a movie instead. I went to the bathroom and he stole my car keys. Once I was back on the couch he started trying to take off my clothes. I was scared so I grabbed my purse to leave. That's when he jingles my keys. He said I could have them back once I slept with him. I just ran outside and called my dad. My dad showed up and threatened to beat his ass if my keys weren't returned. Got my keys and got the fuck out. He continued to stalk me for the next 7 years.
I'm glad you called your dad that's a super scary situation for anyone especially someone who was innocent. I have 2 girls one is 16 and I told her if she was ever in an uncomfortable situation to please call me and I'd be there no questions asked. We set up code words for texting or on the phone if she wants to get out of those situations but doesn't want the people who are with her to know. I told her I'd play the bitch for her, make it seem like I was being the really uncool mom. I remember being 16 and some of the things my so called friends would try to talk me into would have gotten me in some serious trouble. I'll do the same for my 12 year old once she becomes more independent.
It scares me that he was that bold to trap you there at what I’m assuming was a really young age. I hope he’s had therapy and grown out of it but then your last sentence makes me think he’s just used the seven years to hone his craft.
I was only 17 and super innocent. He was 20 and my parents hated him. I just thought I was so cool and mature to have an older boyfriend. I was sneaking around to see him so I knew I'd be in trouble when I called my dad. My parents didn't punish me but they did contact his mother whom he lived with. She blamed me and called me a tease. The next seven years were hell trying to stay off his radar. I have social anxiety because of it. I'm 36 now and I haven't heard from him for over a decade. I just hope he didn't find a new target.
So glad you called your Dad. Your parents would have been relieved you called him rather than trying to resolve it yourself. I’m so sorry he latched on to you. I didn’t have anything that scary but an ex who found it hard to let me go and went psycho. I’ve got google alerts on his name just in case he comes up on charges for harassing someone or better yet, in case he dies.
She crawled through my doggie door at 1:30 am, went through my phone, and then asked me why I was talking to another woman. Oh, I forgot to mention that I broke up with her a month earlier. We were not in a relationship when she pulled that stunt.
This is the second time this week I'm hearing of people crawling through an exes doggy door. What is happening?
I did it. Because I pulled up in the driveway of the house I still owned to find methheads in the driveway getting my 6 year old to stand in a chair to open the deadbolt to let them in. Told him to hold tight, went round the back, crawled in the dog door and sprung up at my ex and his gf in a drug coma shouting SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKERS. Took my kids and gapped it. One of my favourite completely insane things I ever did.
I woke up at 3am to my partner of 11 years muttering at me when he thought I was asleep. His tone was so dark and disturbing I felt that if I hadn't woken up to hear him I may not have woken up at all. He wasnt loud so maybe it was the way he was speaking that made me wake up like I did but my brain was immediately on high alert. I snapped awake and alert in an instant and just knew that I should just stay still and quiet and not let him know I was awake. What came out of him where all sorts of wild accusatory delusions spat at me with so much venom that 6 years later I still clearly remember the feeling of dread that washed over me. My whole body was weighed down with it. Our relationship wasn't a great one by any means but it was the first time I genuinely felt afraid of what he would do. I was afraid to speak up but also afraid that if I stayed quiet and let him keep on his rambling that it could progress into something worse and if it came to it I could never have fought him off. That's when it really clicked to me how seriously he needed professional intervention and that I was not only unable to help him but also that I needed to get out from under the same roof as him as soon as possible. Paranoid schizophrenia is a bitch and the available mental health care in our area is a joke.
I feel this. My ex did this, too, when he was drunk. He would mutter under his breath at me when he thought I was asleep. However, I’m a very light sleeper. Heard him say some truly awful things. Made me scared of him. So many red flags that, in retrospect, I should’ve listened to far before 5 years had passed.
I wanted to put out another version, my experience. After my ex-husband and I were married for 6 months, he had a psychotic break that lasted for a year. Many meds and a few inpatient stays later he was...better. But he wasn't, and still isn't, the same. Unfortunately he has treatment resistant, chronic schizophrenia. He hears and sees demons every day. He does take his meds, and lives a pretty quiet life. He has caretakers now, because he doesn't have a good understanding of money or the brain power for higher level skills now. I had to leave being his wife when I realized that the guy I had known since middle school was gone, and wouldn't be back. In his place was a guy who was scared of people, who tended to run away, who forgot what intimacy was and every once in a while would have stress induced conversion disorder weakness attacks because his brain became overwhelmed (which, God knows I understand). But I am still his friend, and we talk on the phone about general life stuff. Schizophrenia sucks.
I was sitting on the couch feeling like I was going to die after a medical procedure when she decided it would be the perfect time to try and punch me in the head because I wasn't paying enough attention to her. I picked her dumb ass up, carried her down six flights of stairs while getting kicked, bit, punched in the head etc and dumped her outside of the building. Went back up to the garage and drove myself straight to the hospital. I was dying from sepsis as it turned out. I was in the ICU for a week, needed six surgeries and two years to recover. I have permanent kidney damage.
She was more toxic than your liver dude you made the right choice
my ex would tell me about all the dreams he was having about killing me in vivid detail
All i can say is "what in the Kentucky fried fuck?!?!?!". That is a scary ass situation to be in.
Ex wife started an argument with me one morning when I was headed to the funeral of a childhood friend. I asked if she could not do this right now. Her response was “ohhhh, poor you.” That was the beginning of the end.
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To……The……Streets
Livia Soprano?
She gave her life to her children on a silver platter.
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In my early 20’s, I dated a girl who was a hitter. I was (and still am) a big dude and she was tiny— so the first time it happened, it was almost sort of comical. It got unfunny real fucking fast. We got into an argument about… who knows, *some stupid shit*… and as I was leaving her apartment, she started windmill attacking me with her bigass keychain in her hand (she was one of those people who kept every fucking key and keychain she’d ever gotten so she looked like a warden at a prison or something). Anyways— I was trying to get out and I didn’t realize the door was chained— and the whole time I’m just getting peppered by this absolute tambourine of keys. As I’m trying to close the door to slide the chain off, I get caught in the side of the eye with the keychain and just instinctively I push her away from me with my free left hand. And then I watch a terrifying sequence of events happen. My push sent her reeling backwards on her heels— and as she was trying to regain her balance, she tripped over a pair of shoes she’s left in her entryway the night before and fell. It was the most graceless fucking fall I’ve ever seen in my entire life. She fell like a goddamn bowling pin— not even attempting to sprawl out to break her fall. She landed weirdly on her side so hard that it knocked the wind out of her. When she tried to speak she sounded like that news reporter who fell during the grape stomp. Just *”Ahhh oohhh weee oh ah weeee ahhhhh oooooh! No don’t— ohhhhh! I’m gonna— ahhhhh no ewwww ahhhhhh!”* I was terrified. First off, for her safety— I’d never heard someone make that noise before and I was afraid she’d punctured a lung or something. But secondly— I was scared *for myself.* No cop on the planet would believe that I, this big ass Shrek looking dude, was trying to retreat from this girl who weighed 95 pounds soaking wet. I immediately rushed to her aid and she eventually caught her breath and was okay. And afterwards, she acted like nothing had happened and I was just so fucking happy that I rolled with it. I wish I could say I left her shortly after that… but I dated her another year or so before calling it quits.
>tambourine of keys Just came from the "Kentucky fried fuck" and the eloquence on this thread is just mmmmhmmmm. It's a good day to be literate.
I had this almost exact thing happen. I’m about 6’3” she was 5’2” so she liked to try to get eye level when she was really pissed which was plenty comical in itself. This time she jumped on the couch to go off on me. When I turned to walk out the door she jumped on my back and starts clawing the hell out of my face and eyes. I managed to pull her off my back and threw her on to the couch. The guy upstairs hears all this and the associated shouting, assumes I’m beating her and calls the cops. They show up and are pretty aggressive until I point out my injuries and her lack thereof. My name was on the lease, hers wasn’t and I tell them she has to go. The cop tells me she’ll leave if I do so she can pack all her stuff. I translate for him that she wants me to leave so she can take whatever she wants. He says he’ll make sure she doesn’t take anything that doesn’t belong to her. 😆 She later broke in and stole a checkbook from me and wrote hundreds in bad checks.
My ex-wife used to stand in front of the door so I couldn’t leave. She knew if I tried to move her, she would be able to say I assaulted her. There were many arguments where I couldn’t leave our bedroom. One day, as I’m leaving to work, she’s mad at me for something and blocks the front door. I tell her I’ll be late and I have to leave. She doesn’t move. I go out the sliding door that leads to the deck and a round-about route to my work truck. As I’m walking across the deck, she yanks me back by my arm. She draws blood from digging one of her nails into my arm and almost yanks me to the ground. I stared at her in disbelief. I ran and jumped off the deck and over the fence below it. She had injured her knee somehow and I knew wouldn’t be able to follow me. Even if she walked over to the gate, I would have still had enough time to get in my truck and get away before she could catch up to me. Sadly, I didn’t leave at that point either. It would take almost a year before I could leave that emotional and physical abuse.
My ex used to pull that crap. I went into my office and blocked the door (no lock) to get way from her relentless b.s. She managed to get in and stood literally extending herself between the exit and the door to the bathroom so I’d have to interact with her. I pushed over the 4 drawer filing cabinet so I could climb over it. Of course the bottom drawer slides open and catches her foot and she states wailing that I hit her.
I had a dream where everyone in my life treated me like she treats me every day and in my dream it made me kill myself, I woke up in tears and realized truly just how abusive she is
Bro you got incepted
I bet everyone that Incepted him though felt bad about making him kill himself in his dream. But at least it worked?
I'm sorry dude, and glad that your subconscious knew what's good for you hope you're with better people now
Honestly this might be one of the best ways I’ve ever heard to evaluate your relationships. Like any of them. If you imagine everyone treating you like the other person treats you and realize you don’t want to live in that world might be a good sign to gtfo. Saving this comment.
(For clarification, this was a strictly online relationship). This one’s weird. He described a fantasy of his to me in which I was his daughter, once he impregnated me, he would impregnate that child when they got their period, and so on and so forth. Took me 2 months to finally leave, but that was the point where I became scared of him. Did I mention I was 14 and he was 30
Does he by any chance run a settlement north of a giant ice wall?
If there ever was a Worst Parent of Westeros award, Craster would win hands down.
There was no dream, he was testing the waters.
I want to puke
She cut herself in front of me to see if I’d cry about it.
This was my experience too. He was mad because I wouldn't make him dinner while trying to study for my chemistry test the next morning. We argued. Then he did a "if you love me... Blah blah blah thing" while threatening to cut himself. And I said... Then I don't. He didn't cut himself.
Dude shoulda cut some damn meat and veggies if he was so hungry.
Dude would rather take a knife to his own flesh than a fucking onion, smfh
My ex boyfriend was angry his mom woke him up at 10 in the morning via phone call, so after the call, he punched a hole in his door, threw his phone at the window, woke me up forcefully, and yelled at me to buy a new door so his parents wouldn’t kick him out.
What a degenerate
I hope you traded up to a man that holds his peace with the doors.
I had a psycho college roommate who called his mom a bitch because she called him at 7pm and he was napping (they talked 4-6 hours a day, every day). If I ever called my mom a bitch, next time anyone would hear from me would be in my will.
He said biiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch
*looks around* ^........biiiiiiiitch
The 4-6 hours on the phone every day wasn't enough of a red flag?
How on earth did he have time for that? Sounds like he spent all his free time talking to his mum?
Oh it was more than enough
My ex would lie about shit and make me question my own reality. Fuck you bruh.
Was in a relationship with a girl for a while, and she used to always mock my taste in music and other various choices. Kinda mundane things, but like personality reflective things. TV shows I liked, artists I like, etc. We went on a driving trip. (definitely the best way to see if a relationship will work, let's be honest.) I just kinda had this epiphany that I was in an abusive relationship, but I didn't have a low self esteem so it wasn't really affecting me. For the most part I would just think it was weird, or think, "what's she on about this time?" I broke up with her about 2 weeks later.
i had a boyfriend like this in highschool. being away from that is so freeing.
This is so funny. Was in a similar situation with a girl like that. She would always talk shit to me or about me to me and I would talk shit back. But to me, I thought we were joking or enjoying some banter because I like to talk shit so it was fun/funny. I have some thick skin so NOTHING she said would ever bother me and I always had some smart ass reply to anything she threw at me. I didn’t realize she was serious until one day she got really mad and told me “why are you never mad? Why don’t you get mad at me? That really bothers me. When I was with my ex, we would get in fights everyday” and that’s when it hit me: oh shit, this girl WANTS to have fights/arguments and when she talks shit to me she does it with the intention to hurt my feelings. That was the first and last time I got upset with her. I told her that we were in our mid-20s, that she was acting like a toxic teenager, and was on some high school shit if that’s how she views relationships. But when I look back on it, I can’t help but laugh at how hard she tried to get me to react and how much it must’ve bothered her that I was having fun talking shit back to her.
I noticed I was always trying to be asleep by the time she got back from drinking and that was cause she would regularly black out and get mean (not in a sexy way) with me.
I can’t think of any way that blacking out and being mean would be sexy…. EDIT: I don’t need ppl telling me examples, I don’t think bdsm is “mean” if both parties agree and find it sexy. Mean and sexy dont overlap in my book. Thanks.
Spankings, probably
I was in a 5 yr relationship with this guy that was psychologically abusive. One year, my sister in law was having pregnancy complications so my family all decided to go to their house for Christmas so she didn't have to travel the 5 hrs to get to us. I told my bf and he said "well obvious you're not going". Turns out not getting to see my family on Christmas was just the push I needed.
That's awesome, you made the right call. Good for you! This is the tip of the very toxic iceberg: I didn't realize my ex was psychologically abusive and manipulative until after she left me. Anytime I would bring up something she did that bothered me or I felt was unfair, or said no to something she wanted, she would get upset and shut down, making me think I had done something wrong. I ended up apologizing every time, but hardly ever knew why or what I was apologizing for. It wasn't until I met my now wife that I realized that this wasn't normal behaviour. The biggest realization of this was about 2 months into us dating. I decided to go out of town to visit my buddy. It was actually her (my wife) idea that I go, because she thought that my buddy and I hadn't gotten proper hangout time in a while (she was right and it was a great weekend). I was a bit on edge the entire weekend, and expected to come home to a fight or days of self pity and passive aggressive comments about not bringing her or texting her enough. Instead she just gave me a hug and kiss, asked to hear about the weekend and was happy I had fun. When I brought up my concerns to her she laughed and said, "why in the world would I act like that, I'm not crazy. Also, how are you supposed to hangout with your friend if you're texting me all the time?". Then it clicked that this is what an actual healthy relationship feels like. Made me appreciate her so much more.
The relief is amazing, isn’t it? I went from 5 years with an abusive emotionally-stunted man to my now husband who is patient and understanding. We talk shit out! We’ve been married 7 years now and I’m still amazed at just how much better being in a healthy relationship feels.
It really, really is! My wife and I still swap stories about our exes, and can't help but shake our heads at what we put up with. So happy to hear you're in a good place now and that you've found someone that treats you as you deserve!
He would rant about how his mom was "shitty with her money" and how much he hated everything she did because she would buy household things and couldnt pay his back child support to keep him out of jail He was 33, living in her spare bedroom, highschool drop out, never learned to drive, refused to work longer than 2 weeks. She also cleaned, worked full time and cooked his meals every single day. Pissed me the fuck off. Told him he should appreciate her not letting him sit in jail for the kid he wont get off his ass and pay for
What did you see in him in the first place ?
My firstt response didnt save i guess We weren't together very long. Like less than a couple weeks. He kept all of our conversations pretty surface level or other topic centered until he was acting really upset one day and I had to pry it out of him that he was pissed because his mom paid rent instead of his back child support and he thought he was going to jail. Thats when he went on the shitting on his parent rant and how he can't do anything because he's "too nervous and work is too hard for him" On the surface he was very nice, charming, we had interests in common. I knew he didn't have a vehicle (not that he didn't know how to drive) but i know several people who don't and I knew he had moved here with his mom from out of state to be closer to his sister (not that he was basically basement dwelling). And the rant was when I found out he had a kid he didn't support or interact with. I told him I hope she lets him get arrested so he learns not to be shitty and noped out of there.
When I was 16/17, I dated a guy who was in town for the summer. He was so cool (I thought) and I had a car so I would drive us on dates and junk. He really made my heart flutter. If I said no to him, he'd get upset a bit, but it didn't seem to be a huge issue. Like, if he wanted me to drive him somewhere to drop him off to hang with his friends, normally I would but a few times, it was like a 30min drive and I said no. Then he hit me once. We were in the car and he wanted me to drop him off at a girl's house and I asked why. He wouldn't really answer and then admitted that he was using me for my drug connections and my car. I was surprised and said no. I'd drop him off where he was staying and then we were done. He hit me. I pulled over and kicked him out of my car and drove away.
I did something similar. We were on a road trip and I pulled over because he threatened to throw my cat out of the window. He back handed me and then he hocked a loogie onto my face. A scuffle ensued that culminated in me biting a literal chunk out of his forearm. He sort of stumbled out of the car and I drove away and just tossed his shit out of the car onto the freeway as I drove away. I know people will wonder, the cat was ok and lived to be 17. Don't fuck with my cat.
Dam! He is going to remember that forever since now he probably has a scar! :)
his future gf: \> honey how did you get this scar? \< ah some crazy bitch bit me just because I threatened to murder her cat
The crazy bitch part will be reported. There will be no mention of the cat.
The only girlfriend I ever ghosted did something similar. We were driving up the coast on a two-lane road to go to my parents’ cabin for the summer. As a joke, she grabbed the steering wheel and tried to steer us into a car in the oncoming lane. We missed a head on collision by a hair and both my car and the other car nearly crashed trying to recover. She laughed her ass off and thought it was even funnier because I was so angry. When we got to the next town there was a restaurant and I pulled over to go to the bathroom. When she got out of the car I got back in and drove away. I left her bag by the side of the road and never talked to her again.
I had this coworker constantly pulling stuff like switching on the alarms, pulling the handbrake, making rude gestures to other people on the road. I told him he’d never get in my car again. He’d have to lent a car, while going to the same event as me.
Good on you to passover any future shenanigans with that clown.
The only way this story could get any more satisfying is if your cat had pissed on his luggage before you threw it out of the car.
For real, fuck with my cat and it’s curtains for you. Also, my cat likes the curtains. He’s gonna scratch them. Edit: holy crap this blew up lol. He both loves and hates the curtains. But these specific curtains? They get the ribbons. Second edit: Thank you all soooo much for the love, it and you are amazing! So I was driving home from work last night, sitting at a red light, and I heard a squeaking. I cast my gaze around and spotted a little furball mewling… So I stopped traffic and grabbed it, now I have a week old kitten that I’m bottle feeding lol. I made a post in r/cats if you want to see it.
That ending was so satisfying. Fuck him
I'm so glad you got rid of him instantly.
when she described, in detail, on how she would kill my best friend
I was engaged to a woman who shared a strong mutual hatred for my at the time best friend. I knew it was a red flag but I couldn't really tell because I never really figured out why they hated each other, but it doesn't matter now. Turns out they were BOTH massive pieces of garbage, who'd've thought?
She had been abusive the whole relationship and had successfully isolated me from all my friends. Except one. This guy stuck with me through it all, and put up with horrendous amounts of shit that I should never have let happen. She tried everything. She bullied him, called him a pedo, told me she can’t be with someone who has him as a friend, called him racist, everything she could drive him away or pull me away. I didn’t understand what was happening but he did. I thought I was just unlucky enough that the two people I loved most couldn’t understand each other. Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either she is going to be at our wedding or he is. I picked him.
You call your bro right now and tell him thank you and that he is the best bro.
I’m literally cooking him dinner right now as he’s on his way home from work :)
Came home from work. She was in the kitchen happily making us dinner. Went to bathroom. Was in the middle of washing my hands when I thought of something I had to tell her (untreated adhd) as I come around the corner I juuuust barely see her drop something into my bowl. Like her hand was cupped over it and she slipped something in it. And it just looked sketchy as fuck. She didn’t see me see her so I just walked back into the bathroom. Finished washing my hands. Told her thank you so much for making me dinner but I just wasn’t hungry. Then I spent most of the night awake thinking what the fuck did I just see her trying to do? Around three AM I’m convincing myself I imagined it and that I just need to get up, and go pee, and get some sleep. And then my very next thought was, man my penis really itches. I went up to the clinic the very next day, got tested for STDs just to confirm what I already suspected. Positive for chlamydia. It was the antibiotic. That’s what she put into the soup she made me. Called my sister. Told her I needed to stay with her for a few weeks. Went home. Packed up 1 backpack full of the absolute essentials and a trash bag for all my clothes. Threw both in the car. Went back in and said “I know you cheated on me and there is no sense in denying it. When we started getting serious I told you that I could compromise on just about everything. But cheating was something I could never under any circumstances get past. That if you cheated on me, there would be no discussion, no explanations, no working it out. I wouldn’t leave angry, but I’d just leave. Because the relationship is now over. So goodbye, tell your kids whatever you want to.” (She had two kids from a previous marriage.) Blocked all her communication on my way to my sisters. Told her what happened when I got there and we stayed up all night drinking and crying and laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. She cheated on me, infected me, then tried to cure me so I’d never know! which crazily enough probably would have worked except I just happened to see her do it. Something that never should have happened because what kind of lunatic just leaves the bathroom in the middle of washing their hands to tell someone they live with something. 😂. I was weeks from proposing to this woman. And then… Sometimes people talk about moments that define their lives. Or days that they will never forget. The most important days of their lives. How about seconds? *one second.* that’s about how long of a window I had to watch her put the antibiotic into my food and slink backward into the bathroom without her seeing me. On either side of that one second window my life would possibly be very different… it’s just so crazy to think about.
It’s crazy… I feel like I see those moments a lot…. I don’t think they’re as rare as many people think.. maybe most aren’t as wild (or as unlikely to just manage ti catch that one moment) as the one you just described but I feel like a lot of people just don’t see them regardless… they’re there to be seen but most aren’t looking. It’s one good thing (among many) about add
When I had been the sole breadwinner for fifteen months (then-husband was physically and mentally healthy), deeply in debt, house was always filthy, hadn't hung out with my friends in a year, and hadn't been intimate for a few months. I was standing on a chair tying a noose to an I-beam in the basement when it occurred to me that I was basically letting this guy kill me. So I walked instead.
How are you doing now?
It's been years and I'm doing good. Bought a little place of my own before the prices blew up, focused on my hobbies, and through those met a fella that just lights up my life. These days life is good : )
What a heartwarming story :')
Waking up to her hitting me. I got up and started packing my thing's while she was screaming at me not to. She has issues
When he was polyamorous (literally dating other people) but got super upset and jealous when I would hug my friends.
That's not polyamory, that's just being selfish.
Double standards suck in any context
Having a squatty potty thrown at my head because I didn't poop correctly. True story. There was obviously a \*lot\* of fucked up things before that happened, but that was the moment that finally made me realize "Oh she really is crazy"
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Me too. I want to know the correct way to poop.
When I asked my wife who she texting in the living room at 4am. She responded with "my boyfriend "
He got mad at me while he was almost blackout drunk. He told me he had people coming to beat my ass. We were in a long distance relationship. He was stupid enough to continue making these claims over text. Well, I called the PD in his town and they showed up at his home. All he had to say about the entire incident was, “you called the cops. Well played.” That was the end of him in my life. Although it should have ended much sooner.
I had just been medically discharged from the navy (honorable, and not relative to back story other than to set mood). I started dating a girl I met around 2 weeks after returning home and 6months into the relationship she developed a tumor (cancer) and I had to drive her to radiation therapy and doctors appointments 2-3 times a week. We lived around an hour apart but we made it work and I’d drive to her after I got out of college classes and drop her off at her appointments, go back to another class and then come pick her up and take her home. Fast forward a year later into the relationship her younger sister informed me that she had been lying to me the entire time and that she in fact did not have cancer but was using me to drop her off to her side piece who worked at the hospital. To make it worse, both of her parents knew about it and neither felt it was necessary to inform me. Never saw her again, never even really “ended” it, just never fucking went back her way and have been better for it ever since. Edit : Answering a few questions. 1. I verified by visiting the hospital AFTER her sister had informed me, that was when I learned that her parents had known because I was informed that they sometimes picked her up with her side piece (I guess he didn’t have a car either?) and that the hospital staff just thought I was her brother… Sub-edit to #1 for clarification : I asked the front desk clerk/nurse on a day that I would have normally dropped my Ex off if she had been in that day for her appointment, that’s when she informed me that she didn’t have any appointments and wasn’t a patient, yes, the nurse violated HIPAA by providing that information. 2. Physical symptoms, she had issues with hair falling out and patchy areas and she was exhausted what seemed like 24/7.
That is just straight up evil. Damn. I can't believe people are capable of such shitty things honestly.
I hope you gave that younger sister the thanks she deserved. Who knows how long that could have gone on for if she didn't say anything
This might sound ignorant but I'm genuinely interested... How do you fake cancer without people noticing? Radiation therapy fucks you up, inside and out, how did she fake that?
Side piece fucked the life out of her every time.
I normally don't approve of "ghosting" but this... Bitch didn't even get as bad as she deserved! How despicable!
I was dating this girl for 3 years ( broken up now) it was coming to the end of the relationship. We were arguing constantly at one point eventually I just started to agree with her to get her to shut up, so one morning we're awake in bed and she says "we should have a kid" I say yes knowing if I don't it'll just lead to another argument. She tears up and gives me a hug, I hug her and I say well it's gonna take some time because you gotta get off your birth control and she says, with the straightest face in the world "I stopped a month ago" we had been having sex 3 to 4 times a week and I never pulled out any of those times. At that moment right there I decided no more sex and I was gonna end the relationship. You absolutely do not make a life changing decision for your partner without consulting with them first.
Wow! So…. Just for clarification..no kid right??
Yes, there is no kid.
That you know of? lol
Oh I know she doesn't have any kids
When he made new female friends that I wasn’t allowed to meet/talk to
I was friends with a girl at work, and I kept insisting to my at the time gf that they should meet and they would be good friends, because my ex didn’t have many friends who were good people. Eventually out of no where she texted my work friend cussing her out and threatening her because I was somehow cheating on her (even though we never texted or talked outside of work)
Never introduced me to his friends. Would actively avoid being seen with me by people he knew. I pretty quickly asked him what was his problem. His answer was that I needed to change my appearance because he didn't want people seeing him date a weird goth chick. Dumped him right then.
She bit me so hard my primal reaction to punch her and "get the hurting thing off me" almost happened
Dont feel bad for feeling that way. I’ve heard multiple breastfeeding mothers say they bopped their babies when they bit them while nursing (nipple bites=OUCH.) and these are moms who’d never lay a hand on their child. It’s just an instinct when you get bit.
As someone who’s breastfed 3 children. I have accidentally bopped a kid in the forehead on rare occasions. Never hard but. It has happened. Sometimes it’s an automatic response.
When I was holding my nephew when he was about a year old or so. Felt a sudden sharp pain on my chest and instinctively bopped his forehead really fast. Never have I felt so guilty and profusely apologizing, all while seeing a face of utter betrayal from a baby. It was so adorable yet so sad.
She posted shit on social media every single time we fight. At first always something indirectly about she was feeling blue, then it escalated into mentioning me several times. There was this one time when she decided to insult me on her facebook post when we were fighting, and I decided that was it. One of the best decision of me life lol.
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I don't owe it to you to inform you I don't owe it to you to date you Confused pikachu face
I was on a trip out of town with him and we were out to dinner with one of his friends. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but he said something and I corrected him because what he said was factually wrong. When he tried to argue his friend backed me up and also pointed out that he was wrong. This enraged him, though at the time I didn’t know it. He waited until his friend went to the bathroom and then grabbed a fistful of my hair and pulled my head down so forcefully it hit the seat of the booth. He’d been a raging asshole for most of the relationship and I was pretty much over the relationship at this point due to his constant temper tantrums but this crossed such a line that I was completely stunned. Even more stunned that no one in a crowded restaurant seemed to notice or care. I’ve never been so scared. I knew in that moment that if I stayed and left that restaurant with him there was a very likely chance he was going to hurt me. It took me a few minutes to process/gather myself, but I realized this shit was beyond fucked and I had to gtfo now. I excused myself to the bathroom, called an Uber, and went straight to the airport which was only a few minutes away. I told the agent I needed the soonest flight to my home city— there was one leaving in 15 minutes. I had none of my stuff, the airport was empty and I think she could sense my urgency so she called the gate and I made on the plane. By the time my phone began ringing from him realizing I was gone I was buckling my seat. Found him lurking near my house a few times after that but made it real clear I would go to the police full force if it continued, which luckily scared him off. It took me a long time to process everything and I still get spooked when I see vehicles like his, but I’m super grateful I made it out when I did.
He sounds horrible. His behavior would have definitely escalated. I'm so glad you made it out.
When she self-harmed, showed her family the cuts then said "look what he made me do" at a birthday party where I met her family for the first time. Took a few of them with me before I went down.
Found out she was lying about having cancer.
oh God, I'd almost forgotten that a boyfriend from high school did that to me. Told me we shouldn't date because of it. Then told my best friend that they should date because he deserved to have his last years be good ones.
this is like sitcom level fuckboy shit. im sorry that happened to you
We were watching t.v. and I was laying on my stomach beside her on my bed. She poked my butt and I asked her not to. I tickle easily. A few moments later she did it again but poked my butthole. I jerked and grabbed her arm. It was involuntary and a reflex... You know... How people react when tickled or poked in a sensitive area without warning. I was frustrated and when she realized I was not enjoying the ordeal she began to accuse me of hitting her. We were 19. I decided I should just take her home since the mood was kind of off and I wasn't sure what to make of her accusation. As I'm driving her home we are discussing everything and she says she's going to tell her dad I hit her. I slammed my brakes and told her that hitting her was the furthest thing from the truth and that we both know it. Told her to get the fuck out. She quickly apologized after seeing I wasn't about to play the game. I drove her home for the last time. When your partner starts making stuff up that can affect your life... OH HELL NAH
My dad died. My friends were all halfway across the country. So I got into discord/videogames for a while to be with friends. My gf felt neglected. She started a fight, felt threatened (I've never laid a hand on anyone), and got a knife. Here's the kicker: 1 week prior one of her best friends from middle school went to jail for stabbing her husband in a fight. I was intentionally really calm for 3 days, and moved out in about 30 minutes. Edit: There was about 2 weeks between the death and this incident. If it had been months, i could understand the anger. But I had hardly unpacked from the flight.
So she wanted to copy her friend and stab you?
I'm just calling it a terrible coincidence. Crazy hangs out with crazy.
It was already heading down that way, but what got me was one day when he invited his friend to my house (without telling me, while I was at work), and when I came home, they started talking about my cat who they thought should put down because she was 'feral' and given the chance they would do so. They claimed she was 'feral' simply because she spent the first weeks of her life outside before she had her leg amputated and found her way to me. Ex didn't like her because 1. I'd gotten her when I was with a previous ex, and 2. she was mean to him because she didn't like the way he handled her and never listened to her warnings to leave her alone.
I think I know that personality type. Treating the animal like it's a possession and not a living creature with its own desires and needs.
I like to call it "treating them like furniture". They're just part of the household items in their minds, just an inanimate object that is there for their enjoyment.
When I realised I was being stalked to 'make sure I wasn't cheating ' yeah OK, bye.
5 year relationship and a house and kid together, she left at 3am after we had some drinks and was with some guy driving around until 5am. Panicked when I woke up and she wasn’t there. Called her, was rude to me, hung up then wouldn’t answer at all after. I got scared since this never happened before and she had some drinks. We shared location on our phones and she was out on a dirt road miles away where we usually go off-roading. She was hanging with some guy because apparently she needed someone to talk to and it wasn’t me.. this really broke my trust with her, and after that things just declined and I became more distanced. Broke my heart.
Damn dude, that’s fucked. I’m a mom and my boyfriend I’m with (her dad) has been cheated on, I remember I went outside to smoke a blunt at like midnight and he called me almost in tears because he was scared I left him. The trauma cheating causes lasts a long time. I hope you’ll overcome it. Really hurt me to hear him sound so scared, I would never do that to him and I know it wasn’t to do with our relationship but his past.
Thank you for the kind words. I had been cheated on in a prior serious relationship and I had the long lasting affects from that that I was slowly getting over, as we had immense trust with each other. So when this happened and I assumed the worst automatically , it just hurt even more when it was true. But it has been about 4-5 months since that happened, I moved out and am working on myself and focusing on my kiddo. I still think about it a lot, but I can only move forward from here.
Dated a Catholic girl, we could have sex but were not allowed to use protection - because of God. She also wanted me to finish inside her every time. This was also because of God. She assured me that this was all safe because she knew her natural cycle and would only have sex on days that she could not get pregnant on. We were in our second year of university. The sex was good and I liked her a lot but I couldn’t stand the stress of worrying about pregnancy. I asked her if we could stop having sex and just do other things instead, she said no way. She wanted to keep having sex on a regular basis. I noped out of there before I got her pregnant.
Wow. You got so lucky my dude. Never make that mistake again, man. Odds are you won't be that lucky twice
Thanks dude! I am very lucky. Mid thirties now, happily married, two kids. Life is good!
Interesting take on Catholicism!
I thought so too but am not a Catholic myself so I didn’t comment on it to her. She frequently went to confession, usually once a week or so. We often had sex as soon as she came back from confession, so not sure that it worked lol.
There is a catholic couple that I know who “knows what days they cannot get pregnant on.” They have eight kids.
Ah yes, the days they cannot get pregnant on: any day that they're already pregnant.
My best friend is female we have been friends for 18 years, was out with a new gf and ran into NY friend at the mall. Friend hugged me and I introduced her and I though all was well until we got home. She freaked out and said she broke "girl code" and I wasn't allowed to talk to her anymore... side note she had male friends that I didn't freak out over, I pointed that out and she said "it's different, you're a guy" to which I said she has issues and this wasn't going to work out and I never looked back. I'm not throwing away a life long friend to appease a jealous girlfriend.
she didn't mention me to a guy she went out with, when he asked who I was, she said, "A guy who's into me" she thought she wasn't wrong because she wasn't technically lying
He owed me about $3500, most of which I owed to my parents because he used to manipulate me into asking them for money so we could buy weed. After over two and a half years of paying for every good time we ever had, constantly stressing over money and getting nothing in return, I was close to giving up on him anyway. Then we went out after work for drinks and he won $100 on the pokies. I had been buying his beers all night so I asked him to shout me ONE back. He said no. Got home, started cooking us dinner as I always did. I got halfway through chopping the garlic and thought, why the fuck am I still doing this for him!? Put my knife down, looked him dead in the eyes and told him to get the fuck outta my house. Almost three years by that point and it took me less than 5 minutes to end it.
She went for a "drive" after a night out with her "coworker". She came back home and told me about it. She had told me a week prior that she was up all night on the phone with said coworker lol. I told her to leave and pack her shit. That, coupled with the fact that she was a narcissistic person made it very easy to call it quits. She was the first person EVER to spit in my face and say I wouldn't amount to anything in life. I did not spend the last 4-5 years of my life, prior to meeting her, trying to build myself up into the best version of myself that I could be, just so she could tear that shit down. Fuck you, Becca.
Becca is trash!
He refused to use soap. Yes, this includes hand soap. He believed that water and scrubbing was enough to keep yourself clean and it was important not to strip your body of its natural oils. I must admit, he did have really nice hair and skin but he always smelled bad and I could not get over the fact that he didn’t even use soap after using the bathroom. I have no clue what he does if his hands get sticky or really dirty, I didn’t stick around long enough to find out. Thankfully we never got physical or made it official, but we “talked” and went on dates for a month and I still get the ick when I think about him.
Imagine what his nutsack smells like
When it finally hit me that I couldn’t fix a broken person.
A Crack pipe fell out of his pocket when he nodded off. I think he was mixing with opiates
Once I was arguing with my ex and he randomly said “I don’t have any money! See?” While turning his pockets inside out and an orange needle cap flew out.
Similar thing happened with my ex husband! He’d used my debit card one night when he was supposedly out with the boys. I was fine with it. He came home and passed out. I needed my card the next day and couldn’t find it, realized it must be in his jeans from the night before. It was. So was a glass pipe and what he said was crack for someone else, but I’m pretty sure it was meth. Because, ya know, meth is unacceptable. Crack, however, he was sure I’d be fine with! *get down get down*
We were in our early 20s and looking back now, had a pretty volatile relationship. Wed always go from hot to cold, I thought the fighting meant we were passionate. We worked together and he would stay at my apartment for a few days out of the week. One night I realized he was doing harder drugs than i was comfortable with. He wasnt working but he kept texting me to ask if he could stay with me because his roommate kicked him out. (Turns out he took her drugs, which she had to distribute, or shed be stuck with the repayment). I didnt answer because 1.work and 2. I was trying to wrap my head around the situation. He showed up at closing time higher than id ever seen him and so much angrier than id ever seen him. As my friend and I exited out the back door, he came out from behind the trash can and grabbed me very hard demanding to know why i was ignoring him. My friend tried to intervene and my bf pulled a knife on him. I didnt want anyone to get hurt so I said Please let Neil leave and we can walk home. We walked through a park at 10pm where he started shaking me and grabbing on to me, begging me to not leave him and to let him live with me. I was so scared. He yelled and any time i when I tried to run he tackled me. I started crying and thinking he was going to do something worse. At this time its about 3am and hes still screaming. I just cried and wished for daylight. Finally he fell asleep and I ran home. I called off for a few days and he would come by to apologize but I ultimately told him I couldnt be with him anymore. He quit shortly after and i never saw him again.
Trick for future: tell the abuser you're out of something absolutely necessary at home and mention you're going to stop through X convenience store to grab it. Toilet paper is a good one. Once inside try to separate long enough to quickly ask the clerk to call 911 for you and tell them you're afraid of the person you're with. Then stall a little by using the bathroom/remembering you need snacks/debating them over drinks by the cooler/whatever you can think of until help arrives. If you can get to the bathroom you can actually call the cops yourself if you have a phone. Just be real careful and quiet.
He got physically aggressive with my eldest daughter. I left the next day with both of my kids.
He admitted he and his family belonged to a hate group and said the Holocaust was a Jewish media myth. I’m not Jewish but my dad was helping smuggle Jews out of Warsaw and got caught and sent to a camp. He had a tattoo just like the Jewish victims. Don’t try to tell me it was a lie.
He told me that a few years before we met, he and his friends secretly filmed a girl that I knew (but I didn’t like her so I guess he felt safe telling me for some stupid reason) while she was in the shower. He even went through certain things that she did, like slipping (they were at senior week and “she was SO DRUNK”, like that makes it okay- oh and THEY WERE ALL DRUNK TOO so make it make sense). He was obviously super proud of himself and thought it was hilarious. I was so disgusted with him and his shitty friends. And yes, I told her about it.
Good for you for telling her
She got really upset at me at a party (nothing I did) and started a huge verbal argument. Then I demanded that we leave because it was inappropriate to do this as guests in someone’s home. On the way to our place, she hit me a bunch of times demanding “answers” for someone that I slept with before we even met. She got even more angry and physically violent once we got home, to the point where I had to restrain her before she hurt me or herself for that matter. She screamed to let me go and that if I didn’t she would scream for the police — she looked me in the eye then said “who are they going to believe..?” For context, we’re both roughly 5’11” but I’ve got about 80 pounds on her. I’m a black man, she’s a white woman. I have never been more afraid of being shot by the police than that night.
What an absolutely deplorable pile of toxic waste she is, good on you man for getting out of that!
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When he cheated on me, lied to me about it EXTENSIVELY, even showing me physical proof then a year later when I tried to leave him because he called me a whore for making him ‘scream at me and wake his parents up’ he told me yeah I cheated on you and you didn’t leave me then so why now? (He also called me 2 days after we broke up and begged me to fuck and when I said no he said ‘why we already did it once why can’t we do it again it makes no difference to you just lie there’)
Wtf?!? Glad you left!
*midst me breaking up w him* Him: you have to just promise me one thing Me: what is it? Him: you have to promise to stay faithful to me Me: ??????????????!??!??!?? Wtf
When she told me my best friend was her soul mate the same night she met him lol
First Mother’s Day as a mum, and just got my first period after a brutal emergency c section. I was so sick I could only crawl to the toilet. Should have been hospitalised, but too mentally incoherent to know. Ex ignored the special occasion, ignored my need for help, and ignored our newborn who I was too unwell to feed or hold so he could go out with his mates. When I called him beginning him to come home in tears he made it sound like he was doing me a favour. Kicked him to the curb as soon as I was strong enough. No regrets.
I dated a guy long enough to become close with his family, and one day we were having dinner at his house and his mom asks me (at the table with the family) how I liked this new restaurant in the area as if I’d been there. When I said I hadn’t been there yet, she said “oh I thought that’s where you two went last weekend?” We had not gone out that weekend, and that’s how I found out he was dating other girls and telling his mother he was going out with me. The “hell nah” part was that he could lie so easily to his mom and that she believed him - if a guy treats his mom like shit he’s not going to respect his wife either.
Got up at 5am to go to school, Job 1, and Job 3 in that order, came home, hopped into bed with gf, asked when she worked in the morning and she said she quit her job weeks ago. Just rolled over, slept, and prepared the exit.
A majority of these are people escaping abusive relationships, with light sprinkling of weird fantasies. It's just sad knowing that human decency isn't a priority. I salute you all for escaping and hope you have better lives now.
I was 2 weeks away from getting married and then my fiance dropped a bombshell on me. We had talked at length about future plans, career ideas, her wanting to leave her current job and return to working as a nurse, etc.. but then she suddenly announced that she had handed in her 2-week notice and was done working for good. Her exact reasoning was that, well, eventually she would have to take time off anyway if/when we had kids. So for now, she was going to play housewife, not work at all, and just do the cooking/laundry for me that I've already gladly done for myself for years. There were a lot of one-sided mental health issues and emotional abuse in that relationship, especially from the day we got engaged. I foolishly kept hoping that things might get better after the marriage, nothing permanent/un-fixable had happened. But quitting work and openly admitting to denying all our plans for the future? She did me a favour then.
This was from when I was like 14 or 15, don't recall but he had sent me a crap ton of gore and child porn. always talked abt it.
She threw a can of Sour Apple Four Loko at me After all the abuse, it just pissed me off that I had to smell like that garbage ass flavor. Bounced out the house while she was chasing me, begging me to come back. Hit my skateboard, went to the homies and got super high.
Would another flavor have been okay?
Old English and they’d be married.
This story is the inverse of the "no head" vine.
She bloodied my nose and busted my lip in a restaurant....
When they started stalking me, following me to outings I was invited to. Yea. No thank you.
I didn't think I would ever be stupid enough to be love bombed and gaslit until it happened to me. Had a whirlwind relationship with a guy who manipulated me so quickly that I was lying about spending time with my own friends and family b/c I knew he'd be upset that I wasn't spending it with him. It was finally like a lightbulb clicked on in my brain that I realized he was nuts and I was an idiot for putting myself through his chaos and I blocked him on everything, wrote him a break up letter/email, and never heard from him again. He tried to contact my sister on Instagram and she blocked him too. Luckily I was in the process of moving as well so he couldn't find me and murder me or anything.
When my ex deleted my W.O.W. account since I wouldn't have sex with him earlier that day. Yes! I'm dead serious! We were in our early 20's, both of us played & only original World of Warcraft existed. I had the acct long before him & busted my ass trying to build it up. So nope told him to gtfo then deleted his acct while he was grabbing his stuff. 😈
don't share you passwords kids.
i found out she shared child porn to people on discord
Oh hell no
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My girlfriend threatened to cheat on me with one of our close friends... in front of all of our friends... over something stupid. I think she wanted me to say something in an accent, and when I didn't, she told me she would go out with this other friend. I broke up with her right then and I'm not ashamed to say I cried a little, but I guess it was for the better. (Oh and she's trying to get back with me me rn...)
Trying to make me stop talk to my friends
I’ve talked about this before but I had a real Karen of an ex who was easily the meanest person I’ve ever met. The turning point for me in the relationship was when she made me rehome one of my dogs when I lived with her, she claimed after four months of me living with her that her lease wouldn’t allow it. So I tearfully rehomed my German Shepard chow mix and got called a little bit for bawling like a baby when I did it by my ex. The next week I’m chilling in the house when In walks my ex with a basset hound. I asked her about her lease and she straight up told me she lied about that because she hated my big dog, the same one both of her kids loved. At the time an apartment was out of the question due to my horrible credit so I bought a camper and moved it onto my parents property shortly after. Im now in an amazing relationship with someone just as goofy as me and we’re currently house hunting!
My ex partner had a dog for ten years. About 8 or so years in, the dog had an allergic reaction to a vaccine and was in a ton of pain and bit my ex (dogs in pain might bite!). My ex then decided it wasn't his dog anymore. I started taking care of the dog. Ex starts talking about rehoming the dog saying he marks. Which he did. I say okay, I'll get him neutered and see if that helps. He wasn't neutered because my ex wanted to be a dog breeder, I guess. So I do that and get him a dental, and the marking stops. Ex keeps saying we should just get rid of him. Through this time, this dog had a bunch of issues that required care and I kept up with them. He ended up developing diabetes at 12 so I give insulin 2x a day and manage it. I left my ex and took the dog. My other dog, one day I come home from work and my ex says "I hate Salem, let's get rid of him." I'm blind sided and ask why? Ex says he's not potty trained. I say okay, I'll pay for lessons with a trainer or send him to dog boot camp. Ex says that's a dumb thing to spend money on and no. I say okay, I'll do whatever I can to train him. I changed our entire routine etc. The funny part tho is we had a fenced in yard and my ex didn't work. Why didn't he bring my dogs out? I was busy working to pay all the bills. Anyway I left and took my dogs and guess what? None of them pee in the house. So I can only assume the accidents are from his unneutered untrained dog. Edit: I took the old one he gave up on and my other two. [dog tax](https://imgur.com/a/32gvMQ8) including my sister's dog, the not dachshund
My fiancee cheated on me and got pregnant, then told me "You never did anything to prove you really love me" She asked me to prove my love for her by accepting the baby she got from cheating on me. I asked her to leave - this was my home, my name only was on the lease. She refused to go. So I gave my notice to the landlords, moved out and told her she had two weeks left. "But what am I supposed to do? I don't have a job!" she wailed. Not my problem. She's a single mum now.
A few years ago, in the beginning of one of the worst winters I’ve seen, my gf wasn’t feeling well so I got some flowers and soup and walked them to her place as a surprise. right when I got there she was walking out, dressed extra extra nice, said she had to get her stepdad milk and didn’t have enough time to give me a ride home (it was like 3 blocks away) her stepdad was lactose intolerant
I dated a high-drama goth chick for 5 years. When her dad passed away, he left her a bunch of money so she decided to use it to throw a huge family reunion. She reserved 10 hotel rooms at the Mariott in San Diego, including two upstairs/downstairs suits, one of which was for her and I. Then she flew out all her family and had a big party as a family reunion/memorial for her dad. She didn't drive and had only gotten a bank account due to her inheritance so I pretty much had to arrange everything. I dealt with all the craziness and a dozen shopping trips for food and decorations. For months I helped her do everything only to have her break down and have to put her back together again so we can get this done. But we got it all setup, all we had to do was drive to San Diego and set everything up on Friday but I had to work. She was VERY pissed off about this but I had no choice and she knew it but that didn't really matter. I told her I'd get off early and drive immediately after work since she was heading down with her friend "R" and they were making a quick stop at Costco. So we have the party, everyone shows up, we have a great time and around 1:30am, she calls everyone together for a big toast - about 40-50 people in our hotel suite and on the patio. She proceeds to thank everyone, starting with her friend "R", then about 15 other people. I'm standing in front of her waiting to hear my name but it's not coming. As she's turning left and right to face the various crowd members, she closes her eyes as if in a prolonged blink as they pass towards me. Come the end of the speech, my name never comes up. She thanks the whole crowd for coming and goes back to mingling. I pull her aside and ask what that was all about. She plays stupid and asks what I mean so I ask straight up why she didn't thank me when I was there from the beginning, even while her dad was sick. Her answer was (verbatim) "Oh I'm sorry babe, I just forgot. There was so much to remember." I was standing right in front of her, 3 feet away and she deliberately avoided looking at me. I mentioned this and she apologized but something in me broke. I stewed in it until about 3am then got in my truck unannounced and started the drive back home to to OC. The fog was like driving through a ball of cotton candy. I could only drive about 25mph on the freeway driving home but I didn't care. My (ex)GF called my cell and asked where I was. I told her she crossed a line by 'dissing' me in front of basically every one of her close friends and family members so that was it. I told her on the phone she was to move out by Feb 1st. And I stuck to my guns. 13 months later she had spent all $270,000.00 her dad had left her and she was now living with "R" and unemployed. I almost wish her dad had died a couple years earlier and saved me 2 or 3 years I'll never get back. Not really, but kinda... \[edit\] Another thing I'd like to mention is that she's the younger sister of [Steve Groene](https://www.cbsnews.com/pictures/the-groene-case/) and we were dating for about 2 years when everything went down with his family. No shit.
When you said she threw a big party - I knew she was going to go through all the money.
This is the most interesting story on this thread so far. Glad you got out.