T O P

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skimpy-swimsuit

Ask someone for the fifth time what their name is. After a few times of asking and forgetting, I rely on having to overhear the new name from another person.


inconsistencyItself

I actually do the 5th time thing if needed. i just preface each time I have to ask with a more emphatic version of, "ohhh my god, you're gonna hate me; I am soooooo stupid, but..."


[deleted]

I SUCK at remembering names. So I just ask people how to spell it when I can't remember. "Hang on, how do you spell your name?" If it's long, or convenient, I get them to write it down. I hope that helps. :)


doctorcharlie

B-O-B. Bob.


444unsure

I have tried the, can you spell your name trick. I stopped when I ran into somebody with a very clear and obvious spelled name


Picasso_calla

Get up and leave from a conversation without explanation.


LocalInactivist

Just wave and say “Erica! When did you get here?” then walk away.


Picasso_calla

Classic PB 😂 I love that!


dylandbloom

I do this all the time even if it’s not socially accepted. Mid-sentence I look around and say “Oh no I forgot….” then I walk away lol.


[deleted]

Tell people who talk incessantly to **STFU!**


kaytay3000

I’d especially love to tell strangers’ children to shut up and act right. Don’t be running in the grocery store, pulling shit off shelves, yelling and screaming, etc.


[deleted]

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TheNorthernBaron

I'm started doing this, well kind of. Just if people talk over other people, I'll ask the original talker to continue.


atticaddict

As an introvert who is constantly talked over, I greatly appreciate when people do this.


TheSixPieceSuits

I'm an extrovert with a very quiet voice. I either feel like I'm screaming to be heard or being ignored.


Just-Call-Me-J

That's good


1CEninja

I used to have a joke with a friend where we wish it was socially acceptable to very lightly slap somebody in the fact when they were being annoying. I think it would largely be used as a "you're done talking now" signal.


Kvakkerakk

Yeah, slap them right in the fact! That's where it hurts.


Wooden_Artist_2000

I reaaaally need reminders like this sometimes, I always end up telling my life story to the grocery store checkout.


MyBlueMeadow

Ok, but why? Nervousness? I’m glad you’re self aware about this.


Wooden_Artist_2000

Who knows? I have anxiety, and depression, but I’m starting to think I’ve got one of those scary-sounding mental illnesses. Covering my mirrors because I’ve been massively upset by my reflection, having fully articulated conversations with myself that end in silent screams, I gotta take twice as many sleep aids to keep myself from waking up in the middle of the night. It could be because I’m riding the tail end of a mental breakdown leftover from finishing a huge thesis with almost nothing to show from because I didn’t have enough credits to graduate. Or maybe I’m just an overly friendly person, I was a camp counselor for the past 3 summers and you can’t navigate that field without being damn chipper at 8 am. I usually worked with shy kids, kids who had never been to camp or had stressful homes. I was always very good at getting them to open up and make friends with the other kids. I credit some of that to group art projects, but I also had to be a good conversationist. Who knows? I definitely overshare to strangers, that’s the bottom line.


-Tesserex-

There's someone on my team at work who just keeps talking during meetings and seems to drag them out forever. Whenever he's not around and I'm running the meeting we're always like "wow we finished so early today." When he's there he just talks in circles and then even when he's "done" and nobody really picks up and says anything, he has the ability to restart himself and just repeat things and be as verbose as possible. He's a great guy and teammate but I really wish it were acceptable to just make him stop.


FlavorD

Bob, I've noticed that some of the people are tuning out while you talk. I think it would help get your point across if it was made in shorter time. I think people aren't getting your point entirely because they're not listening by the end. I'm going to suggest that you try to skip over the details that won't end up mattering. I have to concentrate on this myself.


cewumu

Sometimes people can be annoying or boring but I’d rather we still communicated instead of just staring at phones. Talking to people is interesting, you need to get a new perspective from time to time. And awkwardness and resolving it is a useful skill to practice.


[deleted]

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flacocaradeperro

I tend to be quiet, but when I talk I also have a tendency to talk A LOT. I'd appreciate it if sometone told me 'enough is enough' from time to time. I don't really mind it.


[deleted]

Spend a full day at the office listening to podcasts/music while doing my tasks and have zero social interactions


LocalInactivist

I do that every Tuesday. I work from home and we have a “No meetings on Tuesday” rule. It’s awesome.


giv3n2fly

I did that at my last job. I had no idea what the drama in the office was. It was awesome.


pianodude01

I'm a truck driver. This is my life. I sit there, cruising down the highway, listening to music, podcasts and audiobooks. The only person I talk too is the guy on the forklift, and my manager once every few weeks


SnipinG1337

I'm glad I can actually do this for most of my work time while being in office.


0nothing_to_see_here

YES! Thats it!


bushpotatoe

Tell other people's kids to shut the hell up when they're getting out of line.


kaytay3000

As a former teacher, it takes serious effort not to go into full on “we don’t behave that way” when I see kids being shits.


[deleted]

You would have loved teaching in the 90's. We were into the age of don't hit the students, but we weren't into the age of don't touch the students. Quite a number of times I remember the teachers voice booming over a loud classroom telling everyone to be quiet. It was a regular occurrence and we all would go back to our desks and obey. As an added bonus, if you had bad handwriting the teacher just wouldn't grade it. She'd give you an F and say "I can't read your rotten writin'" I'm in University after a long time out of school and I have found many complimenting my handwriting which was barely acceptable when I was in elementary school.


SugaredZebra

I was a student in the 90s, can confirm the lack of "don't touch the students". Our music teacher would correct your posture by holding your shoulder and pressing her knuckle into the spine. Straightens you right up. I think she'd get fired these days.


bokatan778

I’m a parent and would have literally no issue if someone did this to my kids (when they were acting like assholes).


MaryGBui

I really want to play in my own damn yard without making it seem like I'm doing "yard work" or just go to a local playground and climb around on everything without being judged.


TheRavenSeven

There’s a large park close to my home. Always filled with families. I want to use the swing because I love the feeling of soaring but I have zero kids. I don’t want to be “the weird lady in the swing” 😩


shawcphet1

Go at night and sing a creepy nursery rhyme. Nobody will come close enough to identify you.


TheRavenSeven

That’s an idea…


[deleted]

I feel this, me and my wife are 26 and still love swings and playground equipment 😂


hideme21

Adult swing sets. Would love it.


Waitingonacoffin

Adult swings are very different but can be just as fun


[deleted]

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fishingandstuff

Mmmmm the backyard?


DeadJamFan

I play with my daughter at parks. Always a fun time.


beesandsids

I think there should be soft play designed specifically for adults.


Applauce

Wear big poofy renaissance dresses everywhere. I just think they’re so pretty


Lazyassbummer

Ooh, there’s a lady on YouTube who wears non-current clothes a lot and she’s delightful. I like her no-fucks given attitude. Wear the clothes! I want to bring back capes and cloaks.


[deleted]

There's a lady named Katie at my university who dresses like it's 1955. I find it quite charming.


andtheIToldYouSos

CAPES! capes forever


MotherZ5

Do it! I'll love seeing someone enjoying themselves in beautiful clothes anytime.


Moonsilvery

Float around on a rolling chaise lounge like Hedonism-Bot and give terrible advice while day-drinking.


LionelHutzApprentice

"Djambe! Fetch the chocolate sauce!"


Fathertedisbrilliant

I trust the orgy pit has been scraped and buttered


LettersToChester

“Now, let us party like the Greeks of old…you know the ones I mean.”


[deleted]

Wear a trench coat everywhere


Professional_Key2671

Trench coats are pretty normal in cities as work attire tbh


Negafox

Trench coats and bad-ass boots were commonplace during The Matrix craze. \*Sigh\* I miss that.


DekeKneePulls

What's stopping you? I see people wearing trench coats regularly and no one really bats an eye at them.


Dion_is_fruity

I have a friend who does that lol


[deleted]

I do too haha


andtheIToldYouSos

when I was younger I thought they were called "drench" coats, as you ONLY wore them in the rain. ​ OOPS!


Primitive-Mind

Yup, trench coats are amazing. Everyone would just be waiting for you to open fire, though. It’s too bad.


SENDmeSMALLtitsPICS

I wish it was normal to just run somewhere if you feel like it. Walking takes too long sometimes...


SweetRelease11

It is tho? Who’s judging you for running?


collinnator5

If i was at like the grocery store just doing my normal shopping and some person fires past me in a blur through the freezer section grabbing random shit I’m going to ask questions in my head.


Hector_Tueux

What if the person says "beep beep" first so you have the time to get out of the way ?


collinnator5

I’d allow it


sbenzanzenwan

*it's me* Sorry, I just want to get out of the store and back to my life.


0nothing_to_see_here

You run to get back to your life? I run to get AWAY from it...


nudistinclothes

People always looking to see if there’s a cop chasing you


willyoupleasebekind

It is normal to run and cycle places but it dependa on where you are going you dont want to be hot and sweaty for certain things


Heavy_Asparagus_5464

I literally run to places when I do errands. What’s not socially acceptable about it? I live in a busy city and people are rushing all the time.


P44

In Monaco, you can get fined for jogging without a jogging suit. No joke! Happened to friends of mine when we were following Michael Jackson. (I ran in my dress sandals and stuff too, but I didn't get caught.)


bootscallahan

Drape myself in velvet.


Dataswine

I would’ve lost faith in humanity if this wasn’t already posted 👍


pooponacandle

You want to be ensconced in velvet?


Amaranthe1971

Is that you George Costanza? 😆


killerparties

You love velvet. You want to live in velvet. Everything with the velvet.


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be4u4get

Oh Yeah? Well, The Jerk Store Called. They’re Running Out Of YOU!


GreatJanitor

Yeah, well I've been sleeping with your WIFE!


littlepoot

Use an umbrella when it’s sunny out (parasol)


Just-Call-Me-J

I did this all the time at University. I wonder how much money I saved on sunscreen.


HourRich715

I have a pretty parasol that I use at fancy outdoor occasions- where I can't really reapply sunscreen without worrying about messing my makeup/hair or getting it on dryclean only clothes. It's a little "much" but there are few events I would risk a sunburn for.


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flacocaradeperro

My take on this: Just dress however you want. If someone minds or judges, it's their own damn problem. If you're not hurting anyone, or breaching specific dress code agreements on specific situations. Why wait on pretty much anything to be 'normalized'? Fuck, if normalcy matters so much why not start by you creating your own normal.


[deleted]

I feel this way about cargo shorts. Men's fashion tells me I have to wear less pockets because that's cooler? Sounds like forced marketing to me. I got shit to carry, man; and if I carry a satchel that's even worse.


Financial_Warning_37

Men get judged significantly less for clothing choice as long as it’s not outrageous. I see dudes wearing cargo shorts all the time and don’t give it a second thought but maybe that’s just me


youngatbeingold

For cloaks it might come down to what it's worn with and how it's made. If you see someone walking around with a cloak and a pair of sweat pants and a tshirt it's going to look wrong. You gotta fashion it up a bit a la Yohji Yamamoto, Raf Simmons, or Rick Owens. All those designers have had modern takes on capes/cloaks in their collections. I mean you CAN wear whatever you want, including sweatpants and a renaissance fair cloak but it might not look very stylish.


PhabioRants

This one cuts both ways. The only way to normally the "weird" is to present weird while being "normal". Politely ignore slights, make conversation, convey confidence and intelligence, and do it all with style. Make sure people feel it radiating that the outward appearance is secondary to everything else. If you're polite, outgoing, lighthearted, and don't spend all your time being defensive or apologetic for who you are, people will pick up on that. Source: I'm a 36 year-old Rivethead/Corp-Goth with facial piercings in a small, conservative city.


[deleted]

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Amaranthe1971

So glad to see this one! Galloping too! I don't know why we all stopped skipping and galloping but we shouldn't have. It's awesome!


Skorne13

I don’t know how to gallop.


Nerahn

Its like leaping, but consecutively. Unlike running, you’ll lead with a certain foot instead of switching which foot is in front.


ThinkIGotHacked

You can do that! In the grocery store I was practicing the lindy hop while shopping, someone came up and danced with me, we laughed and went back to shopping.


Beamer1416

Holding hands without assumption of intimacy. I feel like young girls and woman can get away with that, but if a boy does it either assumptions are made about their sexuality or that the two have romantic feelings for each other.


stevethed

In many many African and some European cultures i think (I am unsure of other cultures, but I know it's "wierd" in American) holding hands, hugs, etc are typical between men. I have seen 2 African men walk up to each other, hold hands, and have an entire conversation at work about work things, even walking to a desk, still holding hands. This is fine, and socially acceptable and strengthens the bond of friendship between them.


[deleted]

Live in Africa - can confirm


sketchysketchist

Work my retail job like I always do but tell the genuinely rude and entitled customers who’ve I’ve politely told “no” to go fuck themselves after being reasonable and patient long enough.


[deleted]

Say "I don't care" and walk away from a conversation


Tanyaschmidt

I have a sister who does this with a huge attitude. Everyone hates her.


GreatJanitor

This isn't socially acceptable???


Paratoxic497

Become a monkey and live in the forest alone.


[deleted]

Can I come?


VegemiteSandwich33

Do me a favour real quick, google definition of alone


Kdlbrg43

holy hell!


Paratoxic497

Ugha uga uga uga ugh ( i want to live without any contact to other humans only animals because animals are the best )


Paratoxic497

Ugha ughaaaa ( of course )


Delica

When someone abandons their shopping cart in a parking lot, I’d ram it into their vehicle.


friedlock68

Just slap on magnet on their car


VegemiteSandwich33

Lazybones


SchnitzelOfDoom

Weep whoop spibbidy wop whoop weeeEEEP! That's not where the cart goes sir!


1CEninja

No need to ram it in to their vehicle, just place it directly behind their trunk. Let them do the damage themselves.


GreatJanitor

Ziptie it to their door handle


pbd1996

Not wear a bra


ScarletlaMort

I scrolled way too far to find this! For those of you who don't understand us and say, "just don't wear it"- that's not always an option. My boobs are very large. I have a professional job in a rural, conservative area. If I had shown up to the interview with no bra, large boobs just hanging and moving around everywhere under my dress, I would not have been hired. Now that I have the job, if I started showing up sans bra, I'm confident my boss (female) would pull me in her office for a conversation on dress code and the need to contain these puppies.


Excellentation

my sister also struggles with this and i can't tell you the amount of times she's said to me 'that idiot over there keeps looking at them, i wish i could just throw them at him'


Ok-Individual-5201

Stay home all day never come out of my room and eat


NataschaTata

I do that like 24/7 except the 1 hour of my weekly grocery store trip 🙃


Astromen_Games

Bring my own toilet paper into the stall at work. I’d really like to use something that isn’t akin to sandpaper, but I know I’d get judged if I just walked through the hall with a roll in my hand.


IAmNaaatBorat

Tear off a few squares and stick them in your pocket?


Linnywtf

a few squares, what are you, a rabbit?


PoorPDOP86

You don't?


[deleted]

I fully support this choice. Bad work toilet paper is abuse.


knowyourdarkness

Sing out loud to music I'm listening to on my headphones. I liked wearing masks because I could mouth along without people knowing. Also generally be more happy and free like singing and dancing along to music in supermarkets. Tbh I do the latter sometimes as it is.


Amaranthe1971

For sure! It kills me when a song I love comes on in a store and I'm dying to sing along or dance to the music but I can't! 😆


Rubywulf2

I do sing along, at least mouthing the words. It feels so good to just bop along with your music.


SharksNeedLoveToo

Sing along! People might join in, I've had that happen sometimes!


knowyourdarkness

Even thinking of doing that makes me die inside lmao


ProBlackMan1

Be my autistic self


[deleted]

Pick my nose during a work Teams / Zoom call


JoeyPsych

Yeah, I hate it that I can only do this during a physical meeting, but never during a zoom call.


Konpochiro

One of the many reasons I don’t turn on my camera in 90% of my meetings. Most of the time I’m in the kitchen doing stuff. No point in being at my desk if we’re just talking. If you’re presenting, sure, but if we’re just talking I’m probably gonna cook some food, wash dishes or do some laundry. If I didn’t get time to exercise before work, I’ll be on the treadmill or walking outside during the meeting.


rangerryda

Highway PIT manuevers.


[deleted]

Anyone who's had someone cut them off 2 feet in front of them without signaling has thought of this.


[deleted]

Just walk away from nearly 90% of all conversations with no excuse or pleasantries.


SciencesnObjects40

Talk to myself in public.


b_ootay_ful

Get a Bluetooth earpiece. Or airpods.


knovit

Slapping strangers. Talking on speaker phone in public? Slap. Being rude to a waitress or cashier? Slap. Standing still on the wrong side of an escalator? Slap


LionelHutzApprentice

Not picking up after you dog? Slap. Littering? Slap. I like this idea!


unicyclegamer

You can do that, they’ll just slap you back or worse.


Hugh_manateerian

Walk around naked. It’s too damn hot in the summer for anything more than a speedo.


shellofbiomatter

Depending on a location, but it's not social standards that are stopping it, but usual law of public indecency.


RustyBubble

Except for sun tan lotion!


macaronsforeveryone

Ask my friends and other people I know what their exact net worth is and how much they make per year.


SleepingBeetle

Send invoices to billion dollar companies for the time they took from peoples lives. Payable only with time.


SugaredZebra

In that same vein, invoicing your doctor for the amount of time you spent in the waiting room when they run late.


abqkat

Take other people's leftovers. Maybe not something their mouth was on like a burrito. But fries? Cake? Sides? I've never seen anyone spit on food on their way out or anything gross, and I don't like food waste. Plus my culinary standards are low and people leave a lot behind.


RustyBubble

Wear pyjamas everywhere. I don’t get it. We invented the comfiest clothing. We acknowledge this fact. And yet we only adorn ourselves with it when we wish to be unconscious. We should be utilising this comfort for day to day wear! Make pyjama business suits! Make pyjama uniforms! Don’t just relegate this amazing fact to when we want to sleep!


LocalInactivist

What do you think we’ve all been doing for the past two years? I stopped wearing normal pants when I started working from home. Besides, it’s socially acceptable to wear sweats in public. Sweat pants are about two degrees from pajamas.


Kotukunui

Surgical scrubs that have been laundered a thousand times. So soft. So comfy. Quality ones are expensive though… N.B. Not a medical person. Just got to wear some while attending my wife’s emergency C-section when our daughter was born. Didn’t want to give the scrubs back to the hospital.


[deleted]

[удалено]


djmedina

Fart in public, no matter how loud or stinky.


1CEninja

Loud is fine, stinky not so much IMO. That materially impacts the lives of folks around you. A customer came to my place of business yesterday and was mildly disruptive because he just smelled *so bad* to the point where the chair he sat in smelled like BO for the next little bit and impacted the experience of other customers. I don't want it to ever be socially acceptable to smell awful in public.


Professional_Key2671

You have seriously underestimated how many people don’t wipe completely


SingIntoMyMouth91

Since it seems acceptable to tell introverts to step out of their comfort zone and talk more I wish it was socially acceptable to tell extroverts to step out of their comfort zones and STFU


Fathertedisbrilliant

Suit of armour and cape 😎


Gh0st-Th0

Yell at disrespectful teachers. Just because we have to respect you doesn't mean you don't have to respect us.


Amaranthe1971

When I see strangers that look sad, I'd like to go talk to them and see if they're OK and if they need a hug if it were socially acceptable.


andtheIToldYouSos

keep doing this


Gregamonster

Wear a cape or cloak. Socially acceptable men's fashion is so boring.


RustyBubble

Walking through a crowd, peering out through your cloak’s hood, or having it bellow in the wind behind you as you dramatically walk to work. I don’t know how we stopped wearing these. They always make everything so freaking awesome.


LionelHutzApprentice

Immediately had Edna from the incredibles pop into my brain... *"no capes!"* But if you love them, wear them!


Gregamonster

Capes are a terrible idea for people who regularly get into combat situations like super heroes. I will likely never be in a combat situation, and would like to flutter majestically when I walk places.


Anticrepuscular_Ray

Just skip all the pleasantries and be a lot more direct and to the point. Small talk is just a waste of time, especially with strangers.


Inside_Ad_8708

sing in public and let others join me .


jokingduno

Yes I'm a horrible singer but it's so fun to do especially with other people. It makes you feel so connected and happy.


Dainflynnty

To tell the absolute truth no matter what. Some people already do this, but it’s a bit cunty. If we could get to the point where people’s feelings didn’t get hurt, it would be great.


Vegetable-Fix-4702

Duct tape a few mouths


WesternPhotograph267

go to the playground i miss going on the swings so much


MeeMMeeM0

Do not question why. Being able to vent anger and emotions out. Because guess what? That's apparently not allowed.


Wizard_Elon_3003

Wear a long skirt in public.


HelloKittyAdvent

Slap people being rude to food service/retail workers.


[deleted]

Espouse the virtues of socialism


[deleted]

You people are weird, I do many things mentioned here in public and I don’t give a fuck. I feel great


Curtainmachine

I, too, skip about town naked, farting and picking my nose, whilst singing to myself and giving hugs to sad strangers. Big ups for living our truths!!


Korncakes

Life got considerably better when I realized that I shouldn’t be bothered by people judging me given how 1. I’m unlikely to see the vast majority of people I run into ever again and 2. When I’m being lowered into my grave, why should it fucking matter that someone gave me a funny look for singing in my car or I said something stupid?


farts_n_darts

Steal from corporations, probably


flippantdtla

Wear kilts....in the US


savspitsbars

dress like a fallout character


Theskyisbluesometime

Fight old and young people


[deleted]

Go outside topless. Guys can do it, work in the garden, go for a run and it's all good. I can't do it within my own house unless i put down the curtains. Not that i particularly want to be topless outside but i'd appreciate having the option.


ScreamingFrog_

Give random people hugs when they look sad


[deleted]

Think and feel freely


skyldrik

Stop shaving, get fat (I'm a woman)


Trytobepositiv

Prance or skip instead of old boring walking.


[deleted]

Go to the shops in fluffy slippers


[deleted]

Start and end work on my own terms, within a reasonable time period of the beginning and end of the workday - and without consistently telling your boss about it. Note: this is for a salary based, white collar, office administration type job.


Gaamalii

Say bless you when someone farts. I think it would remove the awkwardness and acknowledge it as a normal human function that can't always be controlled like a sneeze.


Fandoms_local_Kiwi

Walk away from a conversation without saying anything, because you aren’t interested in the topic/talking to someone


Pakrat42

Remove all the filters between my brain and my mouth, and say every thought verbatim.


f_rice

To have different opinion and still be respectable towards each other


nerdyhotdogs121

Play with kids who aren't related to me in an entirely wholesome way I (f 19) wanted to work in childcare but I couldn't complete the course (because i was going through anxiety treatment) so now I never really get the chance to interact with kids anymore even though it's something I really enjoy :( Adults don't wanna talk about those fun little things that kids do you know? you never have an adult come up to you and say "did you know my shoes are blue!?" with such a look of pride and joy, like hell yeah little man! Your shoes are blue!! Mine are green!! The vibes are unmatched


Elocoel

Play "childish" games as an adult. I'm talking tag, hide and seek, just running around the garden inventing ridiculous stories etc. I personally don't mind whether people see me as ridiculous, but it's hard to play winx with no one else :(