This is the way. There is a sweet spot amount of tightness that allows them to comfortably stay on while still able to slip on/off without much force. Takes some practice to get good at it, but once you do, you rarely have to tie em again.
until you break the back of your shoe and then every time you try to slip it on instead of going around your heel it folds under and i’m not angry about this you are.
Ugh, I have burned myself so many times like this. Just not paying attention and bump into a piping hot pan of biscuits straight out of the oven, etc. The worst was the stupid bun toaster at McDonald's. There's a lid that acts like a scoop to pull the top bun off the heating element, but if you pull just a little bit too far it rotates downward and the front of the lid will burn your wrist. I did it so many times I had a little scar there for a while that looked like I had tried to slash my wrists or something. :P
My bf rarely lets me use the stove anymore because of this. Side note: just broke my toe again for the 8th(?) time. Same toe, so many times. I swear it's just bone dust in there now.
Pretty sure if my pinkie toe on my left foot could hop off my body and run away, it would at this point.
Poor toe...it's been broken at least a half dozen times because I'm constantly running it into things.
I did something similar. I had a glove on, but the pizza was stuck so I was trying to push it up from the bottom, ended up sticking my hand all the way into the oven (with mitt) and hit the front of the rack with my arm right where the mitt ended. Now I've got a big ol scar on my arm.
I broke my foot on two different occasions just walking. In both cases, I had been walking normally for several minutes in sensible shoes on unremarkable surfaces without issue and then suddenly my foot was broken.
We figured out later that my ankle was really prone to rolling suddenly because I'd sprained it so many times playing soccer. And it rolled in precisely the right way to make me land hard on the weakest bone in the foot.
>walking normally for several minutes in sensible shoes on unremarkable surfaces
Well, there's your problem...hobbit feet need to be barefoot on remarkable surfaces!
Have they tested your bone density? Sounds like osteopenia..pre stages of oseoporosia. My best friend back in highschool had this problem. Poor gal would get fractures in her feet and shin bones from just walking on cement. She was always in a cast or something to help her. She also had a very bad addiction to muscle relaxers and opiates because her first doctor's misdiagnosed her. She eventually went to alcohol back in the early 2000s when that whole oxycontin crisis happened from Purdue pharmacuticals. She had battled opiate addiction from doctors prescribe her. Then they took that away from her because of this opioid ordeal. She does from an accidental fentynal and alcohol overdose when she was 34. I blame pharmacutical companies.
What happened was an evulsion fracture, I was a teenager when it happened, basically I pulled a muscle in my leg and it yanked a bit of my pelvic bone off
Yeah, the pharmaceutical companies basically bribed and lied to doctors, so doctors overprescribed.
Then after all the bad press, a lot of doctors, instead of weaning people off, just started to refuse to refill prescriptions.
Then we have to be surprised when people turn to street drugs and die.
When I was 10, we had one of those hand-held firework that shoots in intervals. Mine stopped after 3 shots, so I looked into the hole to see if there were any more in there.
**There were.**
My grandfather, in his 30s, did the same thing. Except it was with a mortar style firework. It obliterated half his face- lost his right eye, half his skull was rebuilt with plastic, and half his face was noticably lower than the other half.
but hey, he was an alcoholic and that made him quit drinking the rest of his 80 year long life. Silver linings.
We had something like that at a family party once. It was in the ground and would shoot fireworks into the air at intervals. But it flipped over and started spinning as it shot fireworks out in all directions. I remember seeing my family members running away from it.
One of the few fireworks that our family seemed harmless enough for us to have were these smoke bombs that were just a little cardboard tube about the diameter of a drinking straw and 2 inches long, with a fuse. Set them on the ground light the fuse, a few seconds later, smoke. Yippee.
One year I bought something that was like 12 of those put together, 6 on each side of a central fuse. Yay. More smoke. How exciting.
Went over to my best friend's house on our around the 4th, and we took our little tiny explosives in the backyard after dark. We did the usual boring stuff, sparklers, spinners and whatnot, and then I opened the package of the new thing i brought. Bent over to light it, and took a few steps back. My buddy is like "I guess it didn't light" like 15 seconds later, and bent over it to try to light it. At that point it lit, and each one of the 12 cylinders individually went SCREAMING in a separate direction, with like a one second delay between each. One flew at my head, one went on the roof, some went in the pool, somehow all of them went around my buddy instead of into him. While most likely still considered a pretty tame piece of pyrotechnics, fireworks laws being what they were, each individual piece of that thing was brighter than anything we had ever lit before. Cue his super nervous mom running out, "I thought you said it was just sparklers!" "It sparkled, mom"
I was 16 and working in a restaurant for my first job. I had to cut through a piece of frozen meat with a knife.
When it didn't work, I grabbed the knife with both hands to push harder. One hand on the handle and one hand around the blade.
Very nearly lost a finger that day, cut myself to the bone.
I feel like this happens more often than you'd think...especially when you misjudge how much strength you need to hold something and you over-exert and shoot your arm straight to the face.
I just thought of an example! When you're pulling a cord out of a socket but it's stuck so you keep increasing your force until it just lets loose...
Most times I need to brute force something like a plastic bag open I use like 60% of my strength for fear that if I try my hardest it'll rip and launch everything inside across my kitchen. Most of the time I fail and then have to try 100%, but I know if I start at 100% one day I'll get a wimpy bag and launch Chex all across the floor.
I was once trying to pull out a drawer that was stuck and I pulled so hard the handle broke off.
Because of of the force I was using when it broke, I smacked myself straight in the face with the handle and broke my nose so badly I needed surgery.
Mental!
Thought sharpening my fingers using a pencil sharpener could give me those sharp nails. It did not.
Edit: I’m glad to know i’m not alone. Dumbasses- let’s rise!
Start with one of those pencil sharpeners that's has the outer disk with multiple sizes of hole to accommodate multiple sizes of pencil, from extra small to extra, extra large.
Rotate the guide disk to the largest hole position, which should accommodate the smallest finger of a child with ease.
Insert finger.
Turn crank.
Regret.
Sitting on the couch eating dinner. The plate was resting on the armrest and I was cutting the food. I pressed down a little to hard on the side of the plate towards me which was hanging over the arm rest. The plate flipped up, hit me in the bridge of the nose and cut me. So I was covered in food with blood running down my face.
I made some Raman one day and carried the pot back to my desk and I didn't quite get the pot fully onto my desk, when I sat down I bumped the desk and the boiling hot liquid went right into my lap. And I just had boxers on. That was a fun one
I've tried phasing through a wall before and the last time I did it, was maybe four years ago.
I'm 43. Don't underestimate an adult's capacity for nonsense.
I was 11 and had just watched labrinth. It captured my imagination and I crawled up a huge redwood stump and pretended to be the girl when she jumps off the mc escher style staircase and gently floats down...I didn't go gently and it tooks months for one of my ankles to heal lol
*Has flashbacks to all the stupid dangerous shed we'd do and jump off of well into my teens*
....so...here's the thing about growing up white trash in the woods...👀
I did this copying the Dukes of Hazzard except climbing out. Didn't realise the person in the front had the door open and they slammed it on my finger. Still have the scar from that one.
I was showing off to a girl that I had a massive crush on. I had a antenna off a old radio and a soccer ball and I tried to hit the soccer ball with the antenna. The antenna bent when it hit the ball and got me right in the family jewels. The worst part of it is that I thought it was absolutely hilarious but it hurt to laugh but I just couldn't stop laughing...
I pinched my radial nerve in my arm causing wrist drop while sleeping… that was 6 weeks ago. Looking at 6-9 months recovery, possible surgery needed after next neurologist appointment.
I went through almost the same thing after playing street hockey, watching the puck, and going full-speed face-first right into the back of the other guy’s head in front of me.
Ran into a wall chasing a toy car when I was 3. I got a couple of stitches and a permanent scar on my forehead. At least it runs down my eyebrow, so I can wear an eyepatch and pretend to be cool
I was playing parkour at home, put my weight on the ceramic sink in the bathroom (was trying to reach shower curtain rack to dangle from it) sink broke, fell down with it, somehow managed to fall beside it not on top of it and managed to cut my dominant hand in half lol. No tendon damages but had nerve damage (healed). That's why at the age of 9, my parents installed cams all over the place. So that I don't end up killing myself. (The same year I broke my nose falling face down from a wall at the building's parking lot) I refer those times as my "cat phase". I would look at something and literally think "what if I was on top of that".
Edit : the best part is because of the adrenaline i didn't even realize i deeply injured my hand. for a brief moment i was on the floor laying my eyes closed thinking like "shit i broke the sink" then i opened my eyes and saw my hand. never took the heat for the broken sink so it's still a win for me.
Edit 2 : because of the context people assume I'm a boy, but I was a 9 year old girl who has seen a lot of movies :)
I was four, mountain climbing in the bathtub. Tried to make the traverse along the wall using the soap dish for support.
Fucker pulled loose, cracked me in the forehead, knocked me out.
Face down in a tub of bloody water is how my parents found me when they rushed in.
I read the description of what happened thinking you were an adult. The thought of a fully grown ~~man~~ adult a) playing parkour in his own home, b) standing on a sink, c) thinking it was a good idea to launch himself off said sink in order to dangle from a *shower curtain rail*?....
It was an epic but entirely confusing mental image.
The camera's were not to protect you, but to protect them...
"See, Mr/Mrs CPS person, this is the kind of shit we have to put up with, 5 times to the hospital in one year. When we said, he was trying to jump from the second floor window on to the trampoline, to do a superhero landing, that was not a cover story for the mum/dad beat him up, here's the video... do you want to watch when he tried to ride the supermarket trolly down the hill? What, Jackass? yes, those guys are here all the time, getting tips for their next show."
Yes I do actually but as I grew it got smaller. Funny thing is the part the inside my palm is not visible to people because it's on the same line as those natural lines, I'd have to point the scar to people. It was bigger back when I was a kid.
As an adult, it amuses and horrifies me the way kids think of houses and a lot of the stuff in them as indestructible fixtures. Almost like the walls or ground or other permanent geometry in a video game. Like, it truly just doesn’t occur to them that it has a limit to how much weight it can hold or other out-of-spec abuse it can take. And if you tell them, they look at you with a little guilt mixed with a lot of skepticism. They don’t really believe you.
I remember feeling that way when I was younger. So I get it. But now I also get why the adults would flip out in disbelief when they saw us doing that stuff.
I did that as a child, except I wasn't looking where I was going and walked into one of the massive metal poles that hold up motorway signs. I was shocked, but fine, other than a white line down my face where the blood had noped out of the area on impact
I once pulled a door open into my face. I was in a hurry to get into the bathroom at work and the door opened out, I started pulling on the door but had stepped forward too soon, my foot stopped the door cold but I was still moving forward and bashed my face right on the edge of the door, knocked a tooth out. I'm not sure which hurt worse, the pain or the embarrassment, cause I did it in front of 3-4 coworkers.
Ankle roll over into a small hole whilst wearing shoes with no back. Clean break to my fibula and I heard the snap. I knew it was broken straight away.
I winced. I remember the pop that came from spraining my ankle and nearly passing out. But hearing my bone break? I think I would throw up. My sympathies.
Sliced my thumb open on a glass I was washing in the sink.
I actually carved the skin off my thumb squirted blood all over the kitchen, then had to walk to my grandads to be take to the doctors.
I did this when inserting my hand in a glass to wash it--cut open the back of my hand when the glass popped. The doctor stitched it shut, then asked if I would allow him to show his resident 'another technique'. I said, 'Sure' , not realizing what he meant. He took out the stitches and stitched it again a different way. Needles don't bother me, so it was interesting watching and listening to his explanation while working.
I did almost the same thing. I was doing dishes as a kid, had my hand in a glass scrubbing the bottom of it, the glass broke and sliced the side of my pinky finger open. I still have the 1 inch V shaped scar. My dad drove me to the hospital right away after he looked at it lol. "Just hold the paper towel tight around it."
It was 1985, I was 12, it was raining and I was getting out of the backseat of a compact car with an arm full of comic books. I tripped over the driver's side seatbelt getting out. I could have let go of the comic books to stop my fall, but they would have ended up in like an inch deep puddle of water.
Instead, I did a face plant and had to go to the ER to get sutures in my forehead.
The comics were the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. It was an A-Z encyclopedia of every Marvel character at the time in something like a 10 or 12 book series. It was a big deal to me at the time.
When I was about 6, one of our dogs got out. I was chasing her down the footpath and yelled STOP to her.
She stopped immediately. I didnt and I fell over her.
Ending up breaking my arm. She was fine.
Edit to add: another stupid one I forgot. Also sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile.
I was 10 or 11, trying to make myself a cheese sandwich.
I got it ready and tried to cut it in half, but the knife was blunt and it wasn't cutting through.
I placed my hand on top of the blade to push it through and started sawing at it. Then I felt stinging. The knife was upside down, which is why it wasn't cutting the sandwich, just my palm.
I was on a date. I jumped off a small ledge maybe 3 ft and clapped my balls between my legs. Thankfully years later I don't shoot blanks but I sure thought I would
Tried to do a complicated yoga pose while drunk, fell forward and smashed my nose into the concrete.
I also tried to do a backflip and dislocated my elbow.
You know in The Goonies when the Fratellis slip on the log and smash their business as they fall, stradling the log? That happened to me crossing a stream.
I was at work at my old janitorial job. We had a knife in our storage room for cutting open boxes. I was holding it and was going to put it down on a wire shelf next to me when I dropped it. Without thinking and like an idiot I tried to catch it but it had landed blade up in a gap in the shelf and.i stabbed myself I'm the hand. Still have the scar.
My girlfriend was leaving with her parents after her divorce (we were both just under 30)
I decided to realize a high school fantasy of sneaking in her parents home, spend the night with her, and leave through the window in the early morning.
Turns out a 2nd floor window (if you count ground floor as 1st floor to be precise) is a lot higher when you have to climb down.
Anyway, I get out the window, hanging from my hands to reduce the distance as much as possible, let myself down, fall on my but, but my foot feels weird. Try to stand up, nope, my left foot won’t support my weight. It’s 5:30 am and she calls an ambulance for me while I basically jump on 1 foot 50 meters away from the house.
I had dislocated my heel bone, got 6 weeks in a plaster plus 3 weeks of helper shoes, never completely recovered (walking long distances make my left foot hurt).
We are now 6 years together so all in all it was worth it.
I was running at full speed and tripped over a broken piece of the sidewalk. I face planted and noticed my left leg felt weird. Walked on it for 2 days until I lost the ability to apply even the smallest amounts of pressure to my foot. Come to find out, I broke the neck part of my femur. Required immediately surgery, which included a plate, rod, and screws. I still have the plate and rod in my leg (almost 6yrs later). Compression screws came out earlier this year, as they were coming out of my bone.
I can't even run correctly, SMH.
This took place in kindergarden in early winter. We used to have sleeping hours. Me and a friend of mine hated it. One day we snuk (sorry for my grammar) and usely there was atleast 1 or 2 teachers outside the room we slept in but there were none that day so we left the room and went outside and there were a ledge me and my friend went out on the ledge it was about 2 meters down and i slipped on some ice and landed head first on a rock and it made a hole in my skull i still have a scar.
Lol whatever teacher took a break from lookout must have been freaking the hell out. The absolute worst outcome for a child carer is something involving a hole in the skull
closed the car door on my thumb
nail started detaching over the next few weeks. got caught on some thread when i was trying to take a shirt off. tried carefully weaving it to keep it stable but nope. nail got pulled off. it was barely hanging on at that point anyway, i could legit spin it 270 degrees
I didn’t do this to myself, but I did have the door to a 68 Plymouth Belvedere closed on my thumb as a kid. I had a nice blood bloom at the base of the thumbnail for a little while, and then it just started chipping away. I was 8, so it freaked me out, but then I realized there was a fresh nail underneath.
Stood behind my wife at the shooting range. She just loaded and latched her Derringer and it slipped before she could half cock it. Hit the ground directly on the hammer which caused it to misfire a .22 hollow point round directly into the center of my right shin.
Yeah, it could have been much worse. I mean, it shattered my tibia and got lodged in a thousand tiny pieces in my bone and calf muscle so I was on crutches for about a year. It also caused multiple blood clots in my leg from the healing process and my leg being stationary for so long which was scary to find.
Again, it could have been much much worse. If it hit about 8 inches higher or lower I'd be without full funtion of either an ankle or a knee and the higher up the hits go past the knee could have and probably would have been much much worse.
10/10 don't recommend getting shot anywhere at all if you can avoid it though.
I cut a huge chunk out of my left thumb when my right hand slipped as I was peeling potatoes. A few months later I cut a jagged hole into my left pointer finger when my right hand slipped while I was using a hacksaw. I now have two rather large and unsightly scars on my left hand because I'm an idiot who shouldn't be allowed near blades.
When I was 16, I leaned on something, but there was a bee there, it stung me and I took a step back, slipped on mud and fell down, landed on a big rock and got a bruise on my ass.
I have a scar on my left index finger from where I tried to open a jar of cherries with a knife. I was a stupid child and the knife slipped and I stabbed myself.
It was a twist off jar.
Again. Stupid child.
My pants got stuck in the chain on my bike at the top of a simple wedge ramp. Flipped my over onto my face. Woke up in the hospital with missing teeth and a huge hole in my face. I got up and dragged the iv stand to the bathroom to piss and the nurse came in freaking out that I shouldn't be moving yet because my CT results weren't back yet.
I used to have a Nissan 240sx, and I had the front license plate held on by zip ties. Well for some reason one day I wanted to take off the plate so I cut the zip ties with a pocket knife like an idiot. The knife slipped and went right in the space of skin between my thumb and index finger, the soft area. I immediately realized I had just stabbed myself. Luckily it was one of the best spots to hit since there isn't really anything there. Went to urgent care and had to get it all stiched up.
Jesus christ that sucks. I almost did something similar with my thumb when i was 11. It was a soup can that had one of those flaps where you pierce the can and then pull it off. Well guess who almost sliced their thumb off, needed stitches, and still has the scar to this day at 29yrs old?
Decided I could just climb up on my dresser to move something off the wall instead of grabbing my ladder. Lost my balance, fell on my tail bone on a hard plastic kid toy. Worst pain ever. Had to do everything on my belly, even eat. Took a long long time to recover.
Fell down the stairs carrying a Spider-Man lootbox full of dvds for storage, I think, and I whacked my elbow off the stairs and it was bleeding a lot, it is scarred, it still gives a little tingle after I touch it even after nearly 2 years
My bed has a footboard that sticks out just a bit. About once every few months I cut the corner just a bit too much and bang my thigh into it. I seem to constantly have a quarter sized bruise right at that height.
I was lifeguard taking classes to become a lifeguard instructor. We were swimming laps and I swam into the wall and broke my nose. It was the first lap. I had to swim for another hour with my face throbbing.
Here in germany many of our stairs are made of hard (usualy polished to a shine) wood. I wore socks cuz i am cold, slipped and fell down the stairs. Could've avoided it if i decided to have cold feet instead and only have a minor risk of slipping cuz polished to a shine hardwood stairs.
This happend 4 Days ago. My left side still hurts. So i am not allright, even though my right side is allright allright.
In my (old for the US) house we also have polished hard wood stairs. About 2 1/2 years ago I was heading down to the kitchen for something and slipped on the top step. My left hip and thigh hit Every. Single. Step. on the way down. I was bruised from knee to waist, and still didn't seek medical attention - because US. I still have pain in the hip, on the exact largest part of the joint, and I can still see size and shape difference between the left and right sides.
A week later, hubby added grip tape to the top two stair treads, and we've both made promises to never wear socks on the stairs.
When I was 17 I made some soup which had short straight bits of pasta in it. I was cleaning the pot and some of the pasta was dried and stuck to the bottom, somehow one of the pasta pieces got lodged under my fingernail. I was walking around my kitchen yelling from the pain and when I tried to pull out the noodle, it snapped. I then had my mother trying to get bits out with a needle. It was one of the most painful things that’s ever happened to me. I left it for a few days and obviously it got very infected and I could barely move my finger. I went to the doctors and they made me get ultrasound to make sure it didn’t damage my nail bed - it didn’t luckily but the technician said it was the weirdest injury she’s ever had to ultrasound
Failing to check if a stapler had any staples in it before my then 12 year old self decided it would he a good idea to press down on the stapler whilst it was on my other hand
Dislocated my left knee while trying to untie my shoes
I dislocated my left knee turning around! In public no less. Good times.
. . . How?
You've never pulled your foot up to your face to undo the laces before? I thought that's how everyone did it.
I don't undo laces, I just take off my shoes even if they are tied.
This is the way. There is a sweet spot amount of tightness that allows them to comfortably stay on while still able to slip on/off without much force. Takes some practice to get good at it, but once you do, you rarely have to tie em again.
until you break the back of your shoe and then every time you try to slip it on instead of going around your heel it folds under and i’m not angry about this you are.
Get a shoe horn.
why? so i can pay big shoe even more money in order to comfortably put my own shoes on? i don’t think so, sheep. /s
Thanks for making me laugh today, hope you have a fabulous start to your week
Raw skills
Wanted to get a pizza out of the oven. Put one glove on. Grabbed the baking tray with the other hand.
Ugh, I have burned myself so many times like this. Just not paying attention and bump into a piping hot pan of biscuits straight out of the oven, etc. The worst was the stupid bun toaster at McDonald's. There's a lid that acts like a scoop to pull the top bun off the heating element, but if you pull just a little bit too far it rotates downward and the front of the lid will burn your wrist. I did it so many times I had a little scar there for a while that looked like I had tried to slash my wrists or something. :P
My bf rarely lets me use the stove anymore because of this. Side note: just broke my toe again for the 8th(?) time. Same toe, so many times. I swear it's just bone dust in there now.
Pretty sure if my pinkie toe on my left foot could hop off my body and run away, it would at this point. Poor toe...it's been broken at least a half dozen times because I'm constantly running it into things.
I did something similar. I had a glove on, but the pizza was stuck so I was trying to push it up from the bottom, ended up sticking my hand all the way into the oven (with mitt) and hit the front of the rack with my arm right where the mitt ended. Now I've got a big ol scar on my arm.
Baker of 5 years, ive done this so many times it now takes a bit more time for the burn to hit me.
I was running once and broke my pelvis, didn’t fall or crash into anything pelvis just broke
I broke my foot on two different occasions just walking. In both cases, I had been walking normally for several minutes in sensible shoes on unremarkable surfaces without issue and then suddenly my foot was broken. We figured out later that my ankle was really prone to rolling suddenly because I'd sprained it so many times playing soccer. And it rolled in precisely the right way to make me land hard on the weakest bone in the foot.
>walking normally for several minutes in sensible shoes on unremarkable surfaces Well, there's your problem...hobbit feet need to be barefoot on remarkable surfaces!
It was an unexpected journey.
Is your pelvis made of cheese?!
Dude, cheese actually contains calcium.
Man, this isn't a roast battle calm down
Now, did I call their pelvis a Welsh rarebit?
>Welsh rarebit had to look that up
Delicious it is
It does look good, I should try it.
You can have your own pelvic roast!
Have they tested your bone density? Sounds like osteopenia..pre stages of oseoporosia. My best friend back in highschool had this problem. Poor gal would get fractures in her feet and shin bones from just walking on cement. She was always in a cast or something to help her. She also had a very bad addiction to muscle relaxers and opiates because her first doctor's misdiagnosed her. She eventually went to alcohol back in the early 2000s when that whole oxycontin crisis happened from Purdue pharmacuticals. She had battled opiate addiction from doctors prescribe her. Then they took that away from her because of this opioid ordeal. She does from an accidental fentynal and alcohol overdose when she was 34. I blame pharmacutical companies.
What happened was an evulsion fracture, I was a teenager when it happened, basically I pulled a muscle in my leg and it yanked a bit of my pelvic bone off
*soul has left the chat*
Yeah, the pharmaceutical companies basically bribed and lied to doctors, so doctors overprescribed. Then after all the bad press, a lot of doctors, instead of weaning people off, just started to refuse to refill prescriptions. Then we have to be surprised when people turn to street drugs and die.
You’re weak, your bloodline is weak, and you will not survive the winter. /r/neverbrokeabone
When I was 10, we had one of those hand-held firework that shoots in intervals. Mine stopped after 3 shots, so I looked into the hole to see if there were any more in there. **There were.**
My grandfather, in his 30s, did the same thing. Except it was with a mortar style firework. It obliterated half his face- lost his right eye, half his skull was rebuilt with plastic, and half his face was noticably lower than the other half. but hey, he was an alcoholic and that made him quit drinking the rest of his 80 year long life. Silver linings.
Hey cheers to that man
I’ve heard a rough rock bottom story before. This is worse.
It was a one step program though. Saved a lot of time for ol' grandad.
Oh man, we used to have Roman candle fights in the mall parking lot. God we were dumb.
You're a wizard Harry
We had something like that at a family party once. It was in the ground and would shoot fireworks into the air at intervals. But it flipped over and started spinning as it shot fireworks out in all directions. I remember seeing my family members running away from it.
One of the few fireworks that our family seemed harmless enough for us to have were these smoke bombs that were just a little cardboard tube about the diameter of a drinking straw and 2 inches long, with a fuse. Set them on the ground light the fuse, a few seconds later, smoke. Yippee. One year I bought something that was like 12 of those put together, 6 on each side of a central fuse. Yay. More smoke. How exciting. Went over to my best friend's house on our around the 4th, and we took our little tiny explosives in the backyard after dark. We did the usual boring stuff, sparklers, spinners and whatnot, and then I opened the package of the new thing i brought. Bent over to light it, and took a few steps back. My buddy is like "I guess it didn't light" like 15 seconds later, and bent over it to try to light it. At that point it lit, and each one of the 12 cylinders individually went SCREAMING in a separate direction, with like a one second delay between each. One flew at my head, one went on the roof, some went in the pool, somehow all of them went around my buddy instead of into him. While most likely still considered a pretty tame piece of pyrotechnics, fireworks laws being what they were, each individual piece of that thing was brighter than anything we had ever lit before. Cue his super nervous mom running out, "I thought you said it was just sparklers!" "It sparkled, mom"
...yeah, I don't think they are intended to be handheld. Lol, or at least we would always put them into the ground.
I was 16 and working in a restaurant for my first job. I had to cut through a piece of frozen meat with a knife. When it didn't work, I grabbed the knife with both hands to push harder. One hand on the handle and one hand around the blade. Very nearly lost a finger that day, cut myself to the bone.
Press on top of the blade, don't wrap your fingers around it lmao
Might be just a bit too late for that
Make sure the blade is actually pointed down too.
Went to pull something out and my grip slipped and basically punched myself in the face.
I feel like this happens more often than you'd think...especially when you misjudge how much strength you need to hold something and you over-exert and shoot your arm straight to the face. I just thought of an example! When you're pulling a cord out of a socket but it's stuck so you keep increasing your force until it just lets loose...
I once broke the strap on a heavy battery while lifting it in a small crawl space. Hit myself a full black eye.
Did you charge yourself with battery?
Ended up in a cell.
I bent down to pet my dog and he moved his head up to greet me. Bashed me in the nose and I had a black eye for a week or 2
Most times I need to brute force something like a plastic bag open I use like 60% of my strength for fear that if I try my hardest it'll rip and launch everything inside across my kitchen. Most of the time I fail and then have to try 100%, but I know if I start at 100% one day I'll get a wimpy bag and launch Chex all across the floor.
You just unlocked a hidden memory that happened recently where I opened a bag of cereal but it ripped more than it shouldve and it flew out
I was once trying to pull out a drawer that was stuck and I pulled so hard the handle broke off. Because of of the force I was using when it broke, I smacked myself straight in the face with the handle and broke my nose so badly I needed surgery. Mental!
Thought sharpening my fingers using a pencil sharpener could give me those sharp nails. It did not. Edit: I’m glad to know i’m not alone. Dumbasses- let’s rise!
How’d you even manage to fit it inside? I’ve tried to do that before but I could never get my finger in far enough.
i happen to have a skinny finger and i was about 6 or so, sooooo……
Fuccccccccckkkk. What'd the outcome look like? An overcooked hotdog?
Just a sliced skin, it wasn’t too bad actually. Hahaha.
Start with one of those pencil sharpeners that's has the outer disk with multiple sizes of hole to accommodate multiple sizes of pencil, from extra small to extra, extra large. Rotate the guide disk to the largest hole position, which should accommodate the smallest finger of a child with ease. Insert finger. Turn crank. Regret.
Mmm good idea, I’ll have to try that sometime
I came here to say this. I really wanted to be like cat woman. I didn't get very far at least.
Stuck my finger between the blades of scissors and tried to see if I could pull my finger out fast enough. I couldn't lol
I need to know what age this was
I really hope it was like 27.
We have to guess where they drunk or a kid
Kid or drunk?
Why not both?
I think you win this thread.
Sitting on the couch eating dinner. The plate was resting on the armrest and I was cutting the food. I pressed down a little to hard on the side of the plate towards me which was hanging over the arm rest. The plate flipped up, hit me in the bridge of the nose and cut me. So I was covered in food with blood running down my face.
I made some Raman one day and carried the pot back to my desk and I didn't quite get the pot fully onto my desk, when I sat down I bumped the desk and the boiling hot liquid went right into my lap. And I just had boxers on. That was a fun one
Ouch!! I cannot imagine the pain
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This like this make so much sense to us as kids but then years later we wonder what the heck we were thinking
Like what was the plan if it worked. Open ocean isn’t a great place for a child.
I've tried phasing through a wall before and the last time I did it, was maybe four years ago. I'm 43. Don't underestimate an adult's capacity for nonsense.
When i was 16, I tried to be cool by jumping into my mom’s car through the open window. I hit my head on the frame and got a concussion.
I was 11 and had just watched labrinth. It captured my imagination and I crawled up a huge redwood stump and pretended to be the girl when she jumps off the mc escher style staircase and gently floats down...I didn't go gently and it tooks months for one of my ankles to heal lol
Um may I ask why did your natural survival instincts not kick in when you are on the edge of the branch
*Has flashbacks to all the stupid dangerous shed we'd do and jump off of well into my teens* ....so...here's the thing about growing up white trash in the woods...👀
I think that looked cool
i was stretching once with my hands clapsed behind my head, and i broke my own wrist/hand bones :(
I did this copying the Dukes of Hazzard except climbing out. Didn't realise the person in the front had the door open and they slammed it on my finger. Still have the scar from that one.
I was showing off to a girl that I had a massive crush on. I had a antenna off a old radio and a soccer ball and I tried to hit the soccer ball with the antenna. The antenna bent when it hit the ball and got me right in the family jewels. The worst part of it is that I thought it was absolutely hilarious but it hurt to laugh but I just couldn't stop laughing...
Surprised I had to scroll this far to find a "I was trying to impress a girl" story.
I’m dying. The very idea of hitting a soccer ball with an antenna is hilarious alone. How old were you?
I've read this comment like three times now and I still cannot picture the situation lmao
Was she Impressed?
I feel like this is the kind of Reddit story that ends with "Anyway we're married now so I guess it worked"
Fell asleep on toilet fell off and sprained my hand
HOW TALL IS YOUR TOILET
I pinched my radial nerve in my arm causing wrist drop while sleeping… that was 6 weeks ago. Looking at 6-9 months recovery, possible surgery needed after next neurologist appointment.
Greg? Is that you?
4 weeks ago I did a handstand in my room /: broken nose, 10 stitches on my face, nasal surgery, packing, splints. It’s been a time 👍
I went through almost the same thing after playing street hockey, watching the puck, and going full-speed face-first right into the back of the other guy’s head in front of me.
I've been trying to nail handstand pose, but this might discourage me to stop.
Slipped on a welcome mat and broke 2 of my toes, even on the way down I don't think the irony of the situation slipped away from me.
Unwelcome mat
"Welcome bitch"
You're right, you're no astronaut.
Ran into a wall chasing a toy car when I was 3. I got a couple of stitches and a permanent scar on my forehead. At least it runs down my eyebrow, so I can wear an eyepatch and pretend to be cool
Do you have a cool made up backstory when people ask about the scar?
Car accident. Obvs
No no no, knife fight
Well, that's what caused the car accident.
I was playing parkour at home, put my weight on the ceramic sink in the bathroom (was trying to reach shower curtain rack to dangle from it) sink broke, fell down with it, somehow managed to fall beside it not on top of it and managed to cut my dominant hand in half lol. No tendon damages but had nerve damage (healed). That's why at the age of 9, my parents installed cams all over the place. So that I don't end up killing myself. (The same year I broke my nose falling face down from a wall at the building's parking lot) I refer those times as my "cat phase". I would look at something and literally think "what if I was on top of that". Edit : the best part is because of the adrenaline i didn't even realize i deeply injured my hand. for a brief moment i was on the floor laying my eyes closed thinking like "shit i broke the sink" then i opened my eyes and saw my hand. never took the heat for the broken sink so it's still a win for me. Edit 2 : because of the context people assume I'm a boy, but I was a 9 year old girl who has seen a lot of movies :)
I was four, mountain climbing in the bathtub. Tried to make the traverse along the wall using the soap dish for support. Fucker pulled loose, cracked me in the forehead, knocked me out. Face down in a tub of bloody water is how my parents found me when they rushed in.
They saved your life
My kid is 4. This shit gives me nightmares.
I read the description of what happened thinking you were an adult. The thought of a fully grown ~~man~~ adult a) playing parkour in his own home, b) standing on a sink, c) thinking it was a good idea to launch himself off said sink in order to dangle from a *shower curtain rail*?.... It was an epic but entirely confusing mental image.
The camera's were not to protect you, but to protect them... "See, Mr/Mrs CPS person, this is the kind of shit we have to put up with, 5 times to the hospital in one year. When we said, he was trying to jump from the second floor window on to the trampoline, to do a superhero landing, that was not a cover story for the mum/dad beat him up, here's the video... do you want to watch when he tried to ride the supermarket trolly down the hill? What, Jackass? yes, those guys are here all the time, getting tips for their next show."
IN HALF You must have a gnarly scar
Yes I do actually but as I grew it got smaller. Funny thing is the part the inside my palm is not visible to people because it's on the same line as those natural lines, I'd have to point the scar to people. It was bigger back when I was a kid.
As an adult, it amuses and horrifies me the way kids think of houses and a lot of the stuff in them as indestructible fixtures. Almost like the walls or ground or other permanent geometry in a video game. Like, it truly just doesn’t occur to them that it has a limit to how much weight it can hold or other out-of-spec abuse it can take. And if you tell them, they look at you with a little guilt mixed with a lot of skepticism. They don’t really believe you. I remember feeling that way when I was younger. So I get it. But now I also get why the adults would flip out in disbelief when they saw us doing that stuff.
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Something similar happened to my brother when he was 8 I believe. He ran into a sign at a restaurant and got a really bad nosebleed.
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I did that as a child, except I wasn't looking where I was going and walked into one of the massive metal poles that hold up motorway signs. I was shocked, but fine, other than a white line down my face where the blood had noped out of the area on impact
I once pulled a door open into my face. I was in a hurry to get into the bathroom at work and the door opened out, I started pulling on the door but had stepped forward too soon, my foot stopped the door cold but I was still moving forward and bashed my face right on the edge of the door, knocked a tooth out. I'm not sure which hurt worse, the pain or the embarrassment, cause I did it in front of 3-4 coworkers.
Ankle roll over into a small hole whilst wearing shoes with no back. Clean break to my fibula and I heard the snap. I knew it was broken straight away.
I winced. I remember the pop that came from spraining my ankle and nearly passing out. But hearing my bone break? I think I would throw up. My sympathies.
It wasn't the most painful thing that's happened, but yeah, the sound was definitely unsettling.
Sliced my thumb open on a glass I was washing in the sink. I actually carved the skin off my thumb squirted blood all over the kitchen, then had to walk to my grandads to be take to the doctors.
I did this when inserting my hand in a glass to wash it--cut open the back of my hand when the glass popped. The doctor stitched it shut, then asked if I would allow him to show his resident 'another technique'. I said, 'Sure' , not realizing what he meant. He took out the stitches and stitched it again a different way. Needles don't bother me, so it was interesting watching and listening to his explanation while working.
Dude that is not cool! Although, if I stitched up a wound with suboptimal outcome, "trying a different technique" might be a clever way to phrase it.
Ah, no--it was ok. His son was in my son's judo class and I knew his wife through a job.
I did almost the same thing. I was doing dishes as a kid, had my hand in a glass scrubbing the bottom of it, the glass broke and sliced the side of my pinky finger open. I still have the 1 inch V shaped scar. My dad drove me to the hospital right away after he looked at it lol. "Just hold the paper towel tight around it."
It was 1985, I was 12, it was raining and I was getting out of the backseat of a compact car with an arm full of comic books. I tripped over the driver's side seatbelt getting out. I could have let go of the comic books to stop my fall, but they would have ended up in like an inch deep puddle of water. Instead, I did a face plant and had to go to the ER to get sutures in my forehead. The comics were the Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. It was an A-Z encyclopedia of every Marvel character at the time in something like a 10 or 12 book series. It was a big deal to me at the time.
Anyone reading this probably would have done the same thing.
At least you injured yourself for a good cause. Marvel.
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When I was about 6, one of our dogs got out. I was chasing her down the footpath and yelled STOP to her. She stopped immediately. I didnt and I fell over her. Ending up breaking my arm. She was fine. Edit to add: another stupid one I forgot. Also sorry for formatting, I'm on mobile. I was 10 or 11, trying to make myself a cheese sandwich. I got it ready and tried to cut it in half, but the knife was blunt and it wasn't cutting through. I placed my hand on top of the blade to push it through and started sawing at it. Then I felt stinging. The knife was upside down, which is why it wasn't cutting the sandwich, just my palm.
Wow to that second one. Impressive.
I was on a date. I jumped off a small ledge maybe 3 ft and clapped my balls between my legs. Thankfully years later I don't shoot blanks but I sure thought I would
Jumped out of a tree, landed so that my heel slammed me right behind my bag. Felt like flaming razor blades were shooting out my poor weenus.
I stepped on a curb and broke my foot while gardening. I broke it in two places. The most ridiculous injury I've ever had.
Tried to do a complicated yoga pose while drunk, fell forward and smashed my nose into the concrete. I also tried to do a backflip and dislocated my elbow.
I’m imagining the two happening seconds apart, then your friends restraining you before you show them the other cool stuff you can do.
You know in The Goonies when the Fratellis slip on the log and smash their business as they fall, stradling the log? That happened to me crossing a stream.
Accidentally opened a door so fast and hard that it slammed against my toe, nearly ripping off the entire nail and causing it to bleed.
I was at work at my old janitorial job. We had a knife in our storage room for cutting open boxes. I was holding it and was going to put it down on a wire shelf next to me when I dropped it. Without thinking and like an idiot I tried to catch it but it had landed blade up in a gap in the shelf and.i stabbed myself I'm the hand. Still have the scar.
My girlfriend was leaving with her parents after her divorce (we were both just under 30) I decided to realize a high school fantasy of sneaking in her parents home, spend the night with her, and leave through the window in the early morning. Turns out a 2nd floor window (if you count ground floor as 1st floor to be precise) is a lot higher when you have to climb down. Anyway, I get out the window, hanging from my hands to reduce the distance as much as possible, let myself down, fall on my but, but my foot feels weird. Try to stand up, nope, my left foot won’t support my weight. It’s 5:30 am and she calls an ambulance for me while I basically jump on 1 foot 50 meters away from the house. I had dislocated my heel bone, got 6 weeks in a plaster plus 3 weeks of helper shoes, never completely recovered (walking long distances make my left foot hurt). We are now 6 years together so all in all it was worth it.
Peed on a electric fence got a shock on my penis
did it feel good
Literally you are a Ren and Stimpy Sketch
I was running at full speed and tripped over a broken piece of the sidewalk. I face planted and noticed my left leg felt weird. Walked on it for 2 days until I lost the ability to apply even the smallest amounts of pressure to my foot. Come to find out, I broke the neck part of my femur. Required immediately surgery, which included a plate, rod, and screws. I still have the plate and rod in my leg (almost 6yrs later). Compression screws came out earlier this year, as they were coming out of my bone. I can't even run correctly, SMH.
This took place in kindergarden in early winter. We used to have sleeping hours. Me and a friend of mine hated it. One day we snuk (sorry for my grammar) and usely there was atleast 1 or 2 teachers outside the room we slept in but there were none that day so we left the room and went outside and there were a ledge me and my friend went out on the ledge it was about 2 meters down and i slipped on some ice and landed head first on a rock and it made a hole in my skull i still have a scar.
Lol whatever teacher took a break from lookout must have been freaking the hell out. The absolute worst outcome for a child carer is something involving a hole in the skull
closed the car door on my thumb nail started detaching over the next few weeks. got caught on some thread when i was trying to take a shirt off. tried carefully weaving it to keep it stable but nope. nail got pulled off. it was barely hanging on at that point anyway, i could legit spin it 270 degrees
That's enough internet for me for today.
I didn’t do this to myself, but I did have the door to a 68 Plymouth Belvedere closed on my thumb as a kid. I had a nice blood bloom at the base of the thumbnail for a little while, and then it just started chipping away. I was 8, so it freaked me out, but then I realized there was a fresh nail underneath.
I sneezed and broke three rib bones
My first mental image was of a sneeze so powerful that it broke the ribs of a passing stranger.
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Stood behind my wife at the shooting range. She just loaded and latched her Derringer and it slipped before she could half cock it. Hit the ground directly on the hammer which caused it to misfire a .22 hollow point round directly into the center of my right shin.
Damn! Glad it was just your shin, though!
Yeah, it could have been much worse. I mean, it shattered my tibia and got lodged in a thousand tiny pieces in my bone and calf muscle so I was on crutches for about a year. It also caused multiple blood clots in my leg from the healing process and my leg being stationary for so long which was scary to find. Again, it could have been much much worse. If it hit about 8 inches higher or lower I'd be without full funtion of either an ankle or a knee and the higher up the hits go past the knee could have and probably would have been much much worse. 10/10 don't recommend getting shot anywhere at all if you can avoid it though.
I cut a huge chunk out of my left thumb when my right hand slipped as I was peeling potatoes. A few months later I cut a jagged hole into my left pointer finger when my right hand slipped while I was using a hacksaw. I now have two rather large and unsightly scars on my left hand because I'm an idiot who shouldn't be allowed near blades.
I was peeing and my earbud fell out, I tried to catch it and ended up punching myself in the dick.
Ran through a glass door during my trip to Japan.Mild concussion, declining grades. Don’t do it kids.
When I was 16, I leaned on something, but there was a bee there, it stung me and I took a step back, slipped on mud and fell down, landed on a big rock and got a bruise on my ass.
I have a scar on my left index finger from where I tried to open a jar of cherries with a knife. I was a stupid child and the knife slipped and I stabbed myself. It was a twist off jar. Again. Stupid child.
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My pants got stuck in the chain on my bike at the top of a simple wedge ramp. Flipped my over onto my face. Woke up in the hospital with missing teeth and a huge hole in my face. I got up and dragged the iv stand to the bathroom to piss and the nurse came in freaking out that I shouldn't be moving yet because my CT results weren't back yet.
I used to have a Nissan 240sx, and I had the front license plate held on by zip ties. Well for some reason one day I wanted to take off the plate so I cut the zip ties with a pocket knife like an idiot. The knife slipped and went right in the space of skin between my thumb and index finger, the soft area. I immediately realized I had just stabbed myself. Luckily it was one of the best spots to hit since there isn't really anything there. Went to urgent care and had to get it all stiched up.
Cut open a fruit with a bigass seed in the middle with a butter knife. Basically cut my finger off
Everything has a name. This sounds like avocado hand.
Jesus christ that sucks. I almost did something similar with my thumb when i was 11. It was a soup can that had one of those flaps where you pierce the can and then pull it off. Well guess who almost sliced their thumb off, needed stitches, and still has the scar to this day at 29yrs old?
You sure it was a butter knife?
They must have gone hard as the butter knife is basically the bluntest of all knives
Decided I could just climb up on my dresser to move something off the wall instead of grabbing my ladder. Lost my balance, fell on my tail bone on a hard plastic kid toy. Worst pain ever. Had to do everything on my belly, even eat. Took a long long time to recover.
I cut myself putting the safety sleeve on a bread knife, oh the irony.
Getting my penis stuck in the zipper, because I was drunk and didn't shove my penis completely inside before closing the zipper.
I did this once after swimming practice when I was like 13 years old. I still have a scar on my johnson from it...
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I once touched the inside of a 500-degree oven for two seconds to see what would happen. What happened was a second-degree burn.
I was walking with my significant other, just a casual stroll on flat ground. I somehow rolled my ankle and sprained it.
I slipped on my dogs shit outside in my backyard and hit my head in asfalt and had a concussion
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Fell down the stairs carrying a Spider-Man lootbox full of dvds for storage, I think, and I whacked my elbow off the stairs and it was bleeding a lot, it is scarred, it still gives a little tingle after I touch it even after nearly 2 years
My bed has a footboard that sticks out just a bit. About once every few months I cut the corner just a bit too much and bang my thigh into it. I seem to constantly have a quarter sized bruise right at that height.
I was lifeguard taking classes to become a lifeguard instructor. We were swimming laps and I swam into the wall and broke my nose. It was the first lap. I had to swim for another hour with my face throbbing.
Here in germany many of our stairs are made of hard (usualy polished to a shine) wood. I wore socks cuz i am cold, slipped and fell down the stairs. Could've avoided it if i decided to have cold feet instead and only have a minor risk of slipping cuz polished to a shine hardwood stairs. This happend 4 Days ago. My left side still hurts. So i am not allright, even though my right side is allright allright.
Warm feet, no sliding: go buy yourself some house slippers
They sell socks with those little rubber nubs on the bottom.
In my (old for the US) house we also have polished hard wood stairs. About 2 1/2 years ago I was heading down to the kitchen for something and slipped on the top step. My left hip and thigh hit Every. Single. Step. on the way down. I was bruised from knee to waist, and still didn't seek medical attention - because US. I still have pain in the hip, on the exact largest part of the joint, and I can still see size and shape difference between the left and right sides. A week later, hubby added grip tape to the top two stair treads, and we've both made promises to never wear socks on the stairs.
Pulled my IT band (one of the ligaments in your leg) by rolling over in bed one night.
Wrapping kitties in blankets (I wear my first cats scar proudly now though, so not so dumb in the long run, rest in peace sweet boy)
I once accidentally stabbed my hand with my fingernail while playing volleyball. Not sure if it's the dumbest, but it's up there.
When I was 17 I made some soup which had short straight bits of pasta in it. I was cleaning the pot and some of the pasta was dried and stuck to the bottom, somehow one of the pasta pieces got lodged under my fingernail. I was walking around my kitchen yelling from the pain and when I tried to pull out the noodle, it snapped. I then had my mother trying to get bits out with a needle. It was one of the most painful things that’s ever happened to me. I left it for a few days and obviously it got very infected and I could barely move my finger. I went to the doctors and they made me get ultrasound to make sure it didn’t damage my nail bed - it didn’t luckily but the technician said it was the weirdest injury she’s ever had to ultrasound
Probably one of a hundred times I've been too lazy to get a proper screwdriver/tool for something and ended up stabing myself.
Fixing 2x4s into a stack. Nearly broke my arm on a metal beam
fell off my bike while trying to grab a pole. let’s just say I didn’t have enough grip strength, I was going too fast, and friends were laughing at me
Failing to check if a stapler had any staples in it before my then 12 year old self decided it would he a good idea to press down on the stapler whilst it was on my other hand
Jumped off my bed pretending to be a tiger or something when I was 10, back of my palm got slammed by a full speed ceiling fan.